Top Things You Need To Know About ROCD (For Partners)

[@yarek-karey6902]

My partner has ROCD and I often have a hard time understanding where the 'real' feelings begin and where the ROCD starts. I also get lost in where I should be providing support, and where I should be holding back so as to avoid reinforcing that need for reassurance. Thank you for this video focused on what the non-ROCD side of the relationship can do to help.

[@lorrainecorbin2180]

Sometimes I feel like I will Loose him because of my ROCD and my doubt.. But if we are so scared to Loose someone why we doubt about our love for them ?

[@claudiacortez1848]

Lorraine Corbin exactly ... it’s just a roller coaster full of emotions . Ugh I wish I had the answer to this because I too question this

[@lorrainecorbin2180]

I worry about everything... If I dont think about him, if I dont want to make love, if I dont hug him at night, if I dont have butterfly must mean I dont love him.... And the anxiety attack.... But i know deep down i love him. It's like I want everything to be perfect because it means I dont love him... But he makes me really happy when im not anxious

[@claudiacortez1848]

Totally understand you . I know deep down that he does make me happy but most of the time my thoughts cloud my head . Then I go to a deep depression .

[@lorrainecorbin2180]

Claudia if you need someone to talk too im here I know it's hard..

[@claudiacortez1848]

Omg thank you ! It is very hard :/// where should I reach you if anything ?

[@haylorhigh7504]

Thank you for this! My boyfriend has ROCD and we actually learned about ROCD together. He definitely tells me everything. He too feels momentary relief, but never for long, it is a hard road, but whe he is doubting I try to show him your videos so he can understand and acknowledge, but that too is a temporary relief.

[@liljemark1]

"It's not your job to make your partner happy". This is so important but unfortunately a very hard subject for people to deal with.

[@simonthecelebrity]

Kiyomi, I’m so unbelievably grateful for your videos, and your ROCD program. I’ve only been enrolled for about a month now, and yes, every day is still excruciating and difficult, but I can feel myself slowly getting better. Please keep doing what you’re doing. You’re changing lives. 💛

[@JS90able]

I am suffering from ROCD over a year and I want to tell it to my partner but I can’t. I am cowardly. I had to cry after your video because I want to be honest to him like you. Thank you for your effort. I am from Germany and here are not that much informations about the desease ROCD.

[@salemdaisy745]

PLEASE DO A VIDEO ON ISOLATING YOURSELF BECAUSE OF FEAR OF FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE THANK U SOOO MUCH

[@savannahcolliver2602]

I literally have this same problem. Avoiding “attractive” people in fear of finding someone else/better than my partner

[@juliaxoxo05]

Yessss or I could get a thought liek you will love them and I was like “run” from them

[@khadijaa3554]

What did you do next??

[@rosieone4533]

I've tried sharing great informative websites that explain R/OCD (and the other conditions I have). I've found resources in many different ways because he hates bloggers. He doesn't educate himself on it though or want to ever discuss it. It took years but finally I got him to try couple therapy but the therapies implied heavily that we should break-up which did not help my ROCD at all, so we stopped going. Nothing new has been picked up and he never initiate conversation about our relationship in general (outside of ROCD). I feel so lonely. It is so difficult right now to believe it is just ROCD. I am so fed-up of sitting with the thoughts and feelings. It feels never ending.

[@liljemark1]

Having been to maybe five or six couples therapists the past 10 years I've been with my wife, I agree it is rarely useful when other person in the relationship has (R)OCD. Even therapists who claim to work with OCD often don't seem understand ROCD the same way partner sees the situation and how it is feeding into the cycle. If you go to couples therapy, try to focus on more generic issues: communication, self-care, making sure both have own time outside the relationship. I also advice your partner to listen to IOCDF content on KZbin regarding OCD. He may not be ready, but unfortunately you can only share educational content with him and hope for the best - he needs to become interested in the topic.

[@rosieone4533]

@@liljemark1 Amazing! Thank you so much and brilliant suggestions. I can see now, back then I was in such a negative mental space, I was mid-way through trauma therapy (which I was doing solo) and I was not open to approach things differently (or even sure what to do). Now I have finished the trauma work and now doing self-compassion, I am in a better space and you've provided that me with some new approaches to take. Thank you so much, super grateful!

[@no0kieNRW]

@@rosieone4533 hey! how is it going?

[@carlak.3087]

Thank you soooooooooooooooo much for this Video Kiyomi. Gosh, this is so so so helpful. Thank you, from the bottom of my ❤️.

[@MiguelPerez-cc4pe]

I would love to contribute with an Spanish transcription of this video for people who doesn't understand english :)

[@katarzynalewandowska6709]

I’m ROCD partner. I think I haven’t understood the film well. How can I feel good knowing that he doesn’t miss me. I even can’t tell him that I miss him so much because when he sees that I take care of him and I do my best in our relationship, then he feels worse. How ROCD might make relation between us deeper? Please explain, I want to make use of it. I really want to accept all of these intrusive thoughts but somestimes I need a support from him too. I often can’t get it because he is often in a bad mood. Isn’t it the core of the relationship to be for a partner, not just for myself? I mean to take care and be a disintersted gift not thinking much about my feelings but focusing on my partner’s feelings?

[@MissSarahGM]

Katarzyna, sorry my post got deleted as I edited to add my mail address. I'll put it on my account page so you can see it

[@hippidippi8]

My therapist is suggesting couples therapy but I'm nervous that itll make it worse and to find a therapist that understands ROCD. Shes saying I'm being pessimistic about it

[@eamv88]

Thank you very much. Been looking for some explanation into what I been going through...I did many errors and now I don’t know how to reach my ROCD ex.

[@mr.krabbskrabbypatty8342]

Is there a possibility to have both ROCD and RA?

[@thebuzzy537]

My problem is I know I love my partner and I never question breaking up, my obsession comes from constantly questioning if he loves me and if I'm doing something wrong.

[@emreed9190]

I know this is an old comment but this sounds more like Relationship Anxiety than ROCD, I think researching that may help you find some things you relate to!

[@estherjames7226]

Hello! It would be reaaaally helpful if you could help me with this one: !Is it possible to have ROCD and real life event OCD+false memory OCD?The false memory and real life event are related to ROCD, of course.For example, for a long time now i feel everyday guilt, sometimes is vanillla, but in the rest of the time...nightmare, hell...I randomly remember events from the past, or feelings, or thoughts that I had about my partner and i cannot stop thinking ,,Had I found him attractive before we got together?,, ,,Did this counts as cheating or not?,, ,,I once, in our first 2 weeks together, noticed a little fat-roll and i didn t like that.What this means?I didn t like my partner?Or did not like him enough?,, or ,,I cannot remember if I felt buterflies or not before and after we got together.What if I felt SOME buterflies, but what if i did not felt enough ??,, And a loooooot mooore like that wich I cannot confess here cuz it would be too personal.