BABY LED WEANING: MEALTIME BEHAVIOR EXPECTATIONS

[@mellyayble]

I am so jealous of your kids that they get to grow up in such a stable household with firm rules but having them enforced in such a respectful way. I wish more of us got to experience this. :(

[@genxx2724]

Beautiful for a mother to stay home and raise the children.

[@melinda4316]

You can provide this for your children though! Break the cycle!

[@OhItsJustAspen]

I love how much you advocate for the autonomy and respect for a child. It's SO important and having a(nother) voice for that on KZbin is fantastic! I have always found the Montessori approach to be incredibly intuitive and I hope more and more parents adopt some of these skills. Do you find any parts of the Montessori approach to be particularly challenging to practice? You're so engaging! I just want to be your friend😂 Feel free to move to Minnesota aaaaanytime.

[@HapaFamily]

Haha, thanks so much! 🥰 Honestly, I feel like Montessori has made our lives so much easier, if anything! The ONE major challenge we have around here is keeping things neat on the shelves throughout the day. My toddler is very inventive and loves to use lots of her activities not only for their intended purpose, but will also use parts of them during her pretend play. 😂 So it often looks like a tornado in the house when she’s playing, and as much as I model and offer reminders for her to put her toys or activities back when she’s done (and which we’ve been practicing and doing together since she was a baby), she realistically only does it independently about 20% of the time. She knows that she should and how to do it, she just doesn’t want to. 😬🤷🏼‍♀️ So although I try to still model and encourage her to help me clean up little things throughout the day, we typically end up having a bigger cleanup session after dinner every night before we go to bed, and that sort of has become the norm over the last couple of months.

[@tahminak6668]

I could not agree more

[@staceyhunt6769]

With the throwing stuff - We used to pick it up once ("Oopsie! Dropped it!") Then the 2nd time, we would ignore it for a minute or 2, then pick it up with minimal attention. The 3rd time we'd remove the item. My son (Now 2 in 2 days) played the drop game for less than a month. We're intending to do this with our 4.5 month old when she weans too. :)

[@MrDzindzilia]

As soon as Mia sat on your lap I could not listen to what you were saying anymore :D

[@kathleencollins7406]

I'm so happy I found your channel. The Montessori method has really helped me be a clam mom. We have developed a routine and your advice has really helped me get over these bumps.

[@geegee_509]

Mia’s face when you snapped your fingers was priceless. Literally a “what is this sorcery?” Type of face lol 😂

[@lilidonna]

This series has been absolutely invaluable. Thank you so much! What an asset your channel is!

[@maryinsanfrancisco]

I love how baby Mia has been popping up at the end of videos. The baby handprint was so funny! Great information, thank you.

[@lovemeforever46]

You’re a very good teacher

[@tahminak6668]

This is one of the best baby vids I’ve seen from FTM c carefully explained important information

[@rencho8236]

You are incredible, proud of your patience. Hopefully one day soon ill try this out!

[@lottejohnson250]

These videos are definitely not for me but I love them! I'm 21, just graduated and not a mother yet (hopefully in 10 years lol)! However my mums a registered nutritionist, and MY WORD everything you've said is what she would recommend. In fact, this is basically how I grew up! Something I would add is that if you have a fussy eater, and they're refusing to eat whats been cooked for them, you don't let them leave the table until dinner is over and once everyone else is finished you remove the plate and only offer a piece of fruit or similar if they're hungry later. (this is for any age child I believe, but mostly 2 years+, but use your own discretion! I'm not the professional!) As someone who had this done to them IT WORKS! I probably lasted being picky with a whole meal twice or three times before I just ate :) (there are things I just don't like, like bananas, avocados and tomatoes (raw/not in a sauce) and you just have to accept that, people have different tastes, however my sister who had the same food experience growing up as I did, eats absolutely everything thats put in front of her)

[@erinaa9486]

Wow, Mia is a stunning baby, I never noticed her blue eyes until this video! You probably have ppl coming up to you in public all the time to rave over how beautiful she is. And thanks for the video :)

[@cinland86]

Mia is sooo cute!!! So glad my baby girl is her age. I see so many similarities and I get to enjoy her so much too. They grow so fast. Thanks for all your help during this series. You are the best!!!

[@dorisdeal8729]

She is adorable! ❤

[@kaneeshadeboer214]

Thank you so much for this video... I watch your videos every day... I have kinda been binge watching you the passed month... I've started montesorri at home for my 12 month old.. And it's very hard in South Africa as it's not the most popular approach so its Very hard to get this information... Thanks for always being so real in your videos 🌼❤️

[@DianaNova]

Hi Ashley! I always loved the Montessori approach and follow the child's needs. My husband doesn't understand it, or he doesn't want to I guess, lol! Luckily I didn't have any trouble with baby led weaning, Alex was pretty good. He never liked to be strapped in the high chair, he had to move around and I never tried to restrain him. Lots of patience and consistency is the key, I agree. Awww, Mia is getting so big, she's so sweet. Those finger marks are pretty deep, lol! I hope you are doing well! Have a lovely weekend ❤️!

[@winkwildly]

Diana Nova My kiddo is 11 months and does the same. Do you follow them around with food, feed them from a plate on the floor, or something else?

[@jessicasmith2103]

Thank you thank you! I can’t wait to see the weekend/ Halloween volg for this week!

[@sueyates3555]

Thank you so much for your advice I have been pounding my head on what to do with mealtimes and this is really helpful i appreciated you sharing this.

[@daianegomes-santos482]

My notes on this: 1st consider how long toddler has been doing this for... age and development as well Tip/advice #1 Proper use cups and utensils- patience and guidance, a smile. Lots of practice and support and respect. Tip/advice #2 Playing with food and water- don't get mad at a baby for experiencing different textures and stuff. 18 months and older limits can be set for instance: remove cup and let her know in a nice tone of voice. Playing with food usually means they're not hungry anymore... Also, offer less food and offer them more as they finish the first part Tip/advice #3 Spitting out food or water- same strategy as #2

[@jazzloveslatte318]

I love how you address the dinner table manners, and I tried the same, not giving snacks, but I still breastfeeding, and if I does not chase my Son with the meals, I will ending up with one hour sleep sessions at night, feeding my Boy what he didn't eat during the day. That makes a grumpy Mom and grumpy Toddler at the next day. Can you recommend something for this situation?I love your videos, please keep making them! Mia is soooooo cute in this one!

[@AjiaJ]

So helpful!!!!!! I honestly can’t wait to go through this process with my baby👏🏽

[@MC-ko2mx]

So lovely to see baby Kylie, and of course, Mia's cameo. Mia seemed to be in a great mood after her nap, and was chiming in, and giving you loving looks - too cute!

[@MissRachelcutie]

got distracted by Mai's cuteness

[@andeenawen1325]

Mia is soooooooooo cute!!! I could not concentrate on what you said anymore after she showed up lol.

[@gaginajulie]

Your baby is soooo beautiful and cuuute it's unreal!!! You must be sooo happy and proud of your Daughter's. Thank you for who you are 😊

[@ruthpineda5271]

Hello Ashley! The link for the high chair is no longer available, do you think you can provide or share another one? Thank you so much for your videos ❤

[@HoneyBunnyVLOGS]

Your such an inspiring mama and your kiddos are just the cutest!

[@iradukundacynthiaamal]

Thank you!

[@sebastiankumlin9542]

19:55 Look at that! :D 20:39 Look right into the camera! :)

[@zoel9689]

This is super helpful. My toddler has been feeding herself since 7/8 months. But recently she started moving around during meal time and ask us to feed her. I was wondering if it’s time to change high chair or move her to her own table. I will try the advices/tips in the next couple days and hopefully it will work out.

[@pomminnie]

Mia's smile, though.

[@magdalena7541]

Omg!! She is so cute 😍. That forehead love it.

[@eilsel2285]

Loved this series!! Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of this wonderful information! You are a great mom!! ♥️

[@yiqichen8120]

Hey Ashley. Thank you for another great video. My baby has started blw from 6 month old and now he is 10 months! Definitely rewarding and the way he eats and chews and swollens are just astounding. Yes I do encounter the same situation as you mentioned in the video that he just tried to climb out of the high chair every 30 seconds and accompanied with screaming sometimes. Wondering whether 10 months old will be a good age to start a small weaning table? Plus I am also encountering the same situation with baby chair int he car. He can only sit there for 20 minutes top and keep crying screaming until you take him out. Would love to get some advice from you in terms of how to help my baby to be fine with baby chair in the car. Thank you in advance.

[@tiintuchamakala]

Thank you so much Ashley.😊

[@lotte90]

I absolutely agree with everything you pointed out, however I’d be worried to give my child too much independence by letting him/her walk out on dinner while the rest is still eating. Any thoughts? Love your channel! ❤️

[@Nikita-ox5si]

Awesome videos. Thank you for sharing all these videos. I'm making notes, worried they will not be around when i become a mamma. I have a question if you don't mind my asking? If you stand your ground and tell them they can't have something to eat untill the next schduled meal (when they've decided to walk away from the table), how does that work with keeping snacks at their level. Don't they just go help themselves?

[@xarixarionlinestore]

Hi. First, thank you for making this series on baby-led weaning. It's very informative. I'm just curious, though, how much did you prepare for your, then, 6 months baby for a meal. What do you do with the extra i.e. pear, broccoli that you didn't cook or prepare?

[@zenegyerekeknek]

Dear Ashley! I would like to ask about how to handle snacks. Do you have specific times in the day when Kylie has snacks or she has them when she feels like it (I'm asking because I saw she picks her own snacks)? If she picks her own but you have a specific snack-time do you ask her not to get her snack if it is before that time? (Alsl, I am sorry for my english, I live in Hungary)! Also, I love these Montessori at home videos so much. I am only on my TTC journey but I am so excted to implement montessori once I have children! Love, Fanni

[@HapaFamily]

I allow Kylie to eat whenever she’s hungry. Generally, she just tells me when she wants a snack and we get one. I open the fridge or the pantry for her, and she picks what she wants. We’re pretty flexible around here. Not to mention, I am a snack all day kind of person anyway. 😊

[@stephaniealomar8679]

Im so excited we started BLW this week with banana and she loves it. I even have a Best friend that her baby wasn’t eating the baby food that she make and he is 9month so I print some BLW information and told her to try it and when she did she was so excited and told me he eat it all with know problem 😊 I was so happy, she thought he didn’t like it, and i told her maybe he didn’t like the way it was, this way he can explore and eventually he will eat it. ❤️😊

[@xarixarionlinestore]

Do you also have any videos that talk about preparing food? I don't have much idea on how much, how often should I prepare? Thanks in advance!

[@br00kex0]

I just came across your channel and I’m so glad I did!! Obsessed! Love learning about Montessori through you. Could you do more videos about toddler eating and how to help with picky eaters? I know you touched base on it in this video, but if you have anymore info I’d greatly appreciate it

[@sarahs5488]

My 6 month old had her first go at BLW today with a banana. I prepared it as I had seen you for Kylie. She thoroughly enjoyed herself but very little of it ended up in her mouth, she explored its texture, squished it around and had a lick here and there but thats it. I am happy with how it went but am wondering how long this sort of behavior is likely to occur?

[@dxliness]

Mia is soooo cute!!!!!!

[@MsTinkerbelle87]

You’re a great mom:)

[@monkeysrock36]

At first I was like what's wrong with Mia's forehead......lol silly baby... so cute

[@itsghelaigg5662]

how did you put arm rest on the ikea latt chair? thanks..

[@happyflowers3561]

Hi Mrs Hapa! Where can I get the little cute wooden chair with arms?

[@ArlaRuiz]

What age did you start using the ikea table? Did you cut the legs shorter on the table n chair? My 13 month feet don’t touch the ground when she uses the ikea table. Did you trace the plate, cup, fork n spoon on the actual table ?

[@HapaFamily]

I traced it on the blank back of a dollar store vinyl placemat. She started using the table around 10 months. And we did not cut the legs, although I had wanted to because they should be able to touch their feet to the floor. I think my hubby didn’t have the tool to do it.

[@Kari-qn3mm]

I am watching the video, I didn't finish it yet but I was wondering what about the toddlers with sensory disorders? Mine is 19 months and he just put his food in the cup, he love water so he love to play with soup, yogurt etc 🤷🏻‍♀️ is like he need still to play and feel the food before to eat it, did I continue leaving it? He also have a problem with textures so when something he doesn't like touch his tongue, he just gets mad and screams. :( He is being evaluated for Asperger's or another sensory disorder or spectrum but I really don't know how to react 🙈😬😪

[@HapaFamily]

I would hold off on any sort of “consequences”, natural or otherwise, until he’s received a diagnosis. Children with sensory disorders have special needs when it comes to food and eating. And I would address your concerns with his doctor, as he/she is certainly more versed than I am in how to handle these types of behaviors with special needs children. Until then, try to be respectful of his responses as best you can.

[@Kari-qn3mm]

@@HapaFamily thanks I would do that 💖🙌💖

[@normal4810]

As an autistic adult I'd suggest giving him a designated water container to stim. I think its important for him to feel the texture of things to try to ascertain if itll cause him sensory issues. I also would suggest having him go see an OT so they can create a sensory diet for him, that way he can figure out what tools he needs throughout the day to cope! Also, if it turns out your son has a sensory processing disorder, please please please for his sake consult him and/or other autistics as opposed to doctors/parents as they often have opposing ideas of what we actually need (I believe doctors should know better, but it would be no fault to a parent new to their child's diagnosis expecting help from a doctor when really their suggestions are often harmful for us). Even if he isnt autistic itd still be applicable bc our communities are all connected. For years now we've been subjected to Applied Behavioral Analysis and special ed teachers using "quiet hands." Some of our parents were directed to Autism Speaks, an organization that wants to eradicate autism when in reality neurodivergency is important to society and most of us identify as autistic since it's part of who we are as opposed to having a condition. Things like ABA and "quiet hands" have caused severe trauma to many of us. I'd suggest looking into blogs of neurodivergent people as well as the Autistic Self Advocacy Network, The Autistic Womens and Nonbinary Network, and autisticmama. Theres also huge neurodiverse communities on tumblr and I believe reddit as well. Best wishes for you and yours!

[@Kari-qn3mm]

@@normal4810 thanks for your advice 🙌💖, I always put my kid first, his father is Asperger and he grew feeling guilty because all his family push him to became "normal" so we didn't want that for our kid. He use to go to an OT but I didn't like them ( now looking for a new one) because they use to force him too much to do things. ( He doesn't like new ppl or be forced to do things, he love to explore by himself) and I didn't like their approach. He does has a speech therapist 💖 and he love her. :)

[@lakliams]

Would you put the plate back if they are like, oh wait please i do want it? Thank you love your teaching style

[@lakliams]

Sorry i should've waited till the end 😄

[@marcelclasses9084]

This is wonderful! We are big fans of your channel and our toddlers thank you for all the help! Just one quick question, we have been talking a lot about desserts and how to not turn them into brives. If a child starts throwing food or they stop eating even when you say”looks like you have finished” would you still give them a dessert? We have twins and if the other starts having their dessert then they want it so its unclear whether we should give it to the child who didnt finish their food/was throwing food or stick to no, even if the problem is they didnt like everything that was on the menu today so only ate half of stuff. Any ideas? Again, thanks a milion for your vids

[@lakliams]

Another question if they don't like something, should you replace it with something else so they eat more? Or it doesn't matter that they don't eat a complete meal? Like when your daughter didn't touch meat, did you added or gave her something else to replace that part of the meal?

[@HapaFamily]

I would offer other sources of protein throughout the day, so that if she didn’t eat meat later, I knew she was at least still getting some protein at some point. I did not give her anything else for that meal, though.

[@lakliams]

@@HapaFamily thank you so much for replying, please keep sharing your tips😘

[@tiC12668]

Hi Ashely! Just want to ask you: if you’re going to home school your girls? Does Kaylee go to school yet? My 2 little girls are almost same age as yours. I have been debating if I should take my 2.5 year old girl to preschool next year or not. Traditional Montessori schools are so expensive here in California, around $1500/month. And I have 2 girls and I’m a full time mom. I feel guilty of sending them to school, since it costs so much money, and I’m a full time mom who doesn’t make money. What’s your opinion? Thanks!

My 15 months looks straight at me and throw her food from the high chair. She started doing it at 10 months and going.... It’s really frustrating !

[@anamariabechara]

Have you found a solution for this?

[@ashleymckee1140]

Thanks for all the wonderful tips. My son is a few weeks younger than Mia and we've been following all of your tips and advice. He struggles with the cup because he wants to use only one hand (or no hands) to get ot and grabs it by the rim. I've been holding it with him and saying "two hands please" and moving his hands into position without much success so far. As for the spoon, he seems to want me to do it for him or he dumps everything off without even trying to get it in his mouth. I think I need to give him more opportunities for practice and I can't wait until he has the "click" and I get to experience and celebrate his success with him. I encourage anyone else struggling to keep at it and remember that you're only on your child's tineline, no one else's! I'd like to know how you handle other children having snacks away from the table and sharing with your child. Do you allow it? Thanks again! So glad to see you back. Love your videos!

[@HapaFamily]

This was TOTALLY Mia until literally like last week, I swear!!! To a T!!! Hang in there! It finally clicked for her and now it’s so much better! 😊

[@HapaFamily]

As for the snacks... I guess it depends on the setting. Outside, I’d allow it. Or if it’s just one piece, fine. But if it’s a bunch, I’d have her go sit (even if her friend was still standing/walking).

[@ashleymckee1140]

@@HapaFamily Thanks! I can't wait. It's so fun seeing them learn things I previously thought a child this age just wasn't capable of.

[@kseshache5560]

Hi Ashley! Thanks a lot for this information. We are doing blw with my 10-months old daughter, since she was about 6 month. And we introduced her to drinking water from the glass when she was about 6,5-7 months. She is eating quite well now, but she almost never drinks. I offer her a small glass (like you have) with every meal, but normally she doesn’t want to drink or she will put her finger inside and will start to play with water 🙈😅 I’m breastfeeding her after each meal, so probably she doesn’t want to drink water. I’m wondering if you know how to make drinking from a glass more appealing to her.

[@naanise7523]

Great Video again! 👍

[@afnanquadery2357]

How about giving tv while eating. I think I sow your older daughter watch her tablet while eating. How is that working for you?

[@alexaranda8152]

What do you do in the case of a toddler throwing his food as an indicator that he's done? Like picking up the food and saying "oh I see you aren't hungry, I'll take your plate" isn't fixing this because that's what he wants me to do. He wants me to pick it up and clean it. He thinks it's funny to watch me clean it. He's almost 3 and we can't get him to stop. He has the sign for "all done" but won't use it unless prompted to. He started this at age 1... And now at almost 3 it's happening still. It's resorted to us having to spoon feed him which hinders his independence which we are supposed to be encouraged

[@michellec1731]

Can you do more ‘Day in the Life’ vlogs? ☺️

[@HapaFamily]

I feel like each of my weekly family vlogs is basically just another day in the life vlog? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Or do you mean a daily routine video?

[@giccsi]

My 9 months is just shows no interest toward solid food. We tried several times finger food (10-15 times) but he did not moved it toward his mouths. How could I motivate him?

[@SamanthaHussey]

My toddler is 15/16 months (same as Mia). We offer him cutlery to use at mealtimes but he really struggles and refuses to use them. He prefers to eat with his hands and I am at a loss at how to help him. We've tried multiple styles of cutlery and nothing has helped so far. Do you have any suggestions?

[@mamaemontessori2393]

Hi Ashley! Thanks for sharing your experience. I am curious if Kyle takes any type of multivitamin supplements. We live in Tahoe and pediatricians here usually prescribe vitamin D.

[@HapaFamily]

I just give her a once a day gummy multivitamin for kids/toddlers. :)

[@sydneygray1331]

Any advice for my 13 month old baby boy? He recently likes to have loud screaming outbursts while eating (not crying). We don’t laugh or encourage it and I’ll say something like “no sir that’s not how we ask for more” and I’ll show him the sign for more which he knows. It doesn’t seem like he is tired, just trying to get attention. He’s not eating on his own just yet and I’m not slow about getting food to him. He will sometimes do it while he is still chewing on bites. It’s getting a little frustrating because he use to be so calm and always get complemented on his eating behavior. Help please!

[@laurawilliamson888]

Montessori weaning table question. What age roughly can I expect they don't walk about and actually sit 😅

[@HapaFamily]

Depends on the kid, really. But if I had to pin an age on it... 18 months?

[@happyflowers3561]

Hi Ashley where did you get the wooden chairs with arms for the weaning table?

[@Jane-qg4jr]

From one day to another my daughter don't wants solid fruits so I went back to puree and suddenly she almost ate a whole mango and I had to beg for a piece 🤣 She overloads her spoon and half of the food is landing on the floor. I remind her to put less on it but she don't mind. Fortunately she stops standing up in the highchair. Thank you for all the tips in this series!!!!!

[@yashodamendiratta4034]

I like to let my children experiment with their food. They eventually learn they should not do this. I did say no to do it some time

[@blessedmum6251]

I love this video and all the bLW sires.. i follow you for a couple of months, this is my first comment and also i have a question. About the meals and how often we offer food. I believe that having a time schedule is better and not give food every time the kid ask for it... but i hear that it is in the mostessori philosophy to give the kid food every time they ask for it.. like follow the kid... and for example if the kid don't eat the lunch at the lunch time as a family, because they want to play, and after half hour the kid comes and say "i'm hungry" i have to give them the food... i think this is not right and the kids must learn that this is the time we eat lunch, dinner, snack, etc... So can you tell me what is the right thing to do?? give him or tell the kid that they will have to wait until the next meal? that the montesorri philosophy say about it? they told me something right or not?? thank you in advance!!!

[@letyvargas9052]

In this video you can actually tell that Mia's eyes color is like yours.

[@missjessanpessan]

The tantrum following the “oh I see you’re laying with your food, ya must not be hungry” and removing it ... what if it’s really loud, like screaming and crying without tears, and yells.... and the child is like 27 moths? What can one do? This isn’t my child, he’s someone else’s. but I’m curious

[@HapaFamily]

I have a video on positive discipline techniques, and that’s how I’d personally handle it.

[@jadelightsword]

I am a childless pediatrician, and the advice that I generally give, and what I plan to do with my future children, is to let them cry out their tantrums, even if it takes an hr or two of screaming. Children learn with consistent consequences. If they yell and get what they want, they will continue to yell. A typically developing 27 month old should have some language, so you should remind them to "use your words," and then give them what they want if they use words. Giving in to tantrums is the best way to ensure that tantrums will continue. But, given that this isn't your child (also, I'm seeing this 5 months later, not sure if this is still relevant to you anymore), you want to make sure the parents are ok with this approach. It would be best if they also do it, because like Ashley says, consistency is key. Also may want to let the neighbors know, so no one calls the police for suspected child abuse. Which, letting them cry out tantrums and learn on their own how to regulate their emotions (with gentle but firm and consistent guidelines, encouragement and positive reinforcement when they succeed), is certainly the opposite of abuse.

[@jamoje7410]

👍👍💞💜💕

[@aishanaseer4970]

Hello I like your content and subscribed. But please don’t use the term “medically normal” maybe say “medically cleared or medically ok.” Every child is medically normal no matter what their underlying health condition may be.

[@allysalawson6737]

Is Mia ok??? Her face has a rash or something

[@HapaFamily]

Lol she slept on her fingers

[@allysalawson6737]

@@HapaFamily awh 😂 little sweetheart lol

[@sazcharnes7530]

What happened to her lil face?

[@user-fc2xk3uv8y]

she sleeps on her fingers sometimes