back from control freak rehab

[@dace8828]

i have no business getting this emotional seeing someone i don't even know after a year but here we are

[@drouinjohnny9036]

Feeling the same….❤

[@kyriakess3746]

Haha same 😢❤

[@miaou48]

girlllll we'd missed youuuu!!!!

[@KristenLeo]

missed you too :')

[@genevievedelorenzo]

Hi Kristen, I'm one of those "never comments but always watches" type of subscribers and I just want to say that I have loved your content for years and I am really happy to see that you are back on KZbin! I agree that the expectations of content creators have become absolutely ridiculous. Frankly, I've always enjoyed watching your videos just for your great sense of humor, so I for one am very happy about the change to more "chit-chat" style videos. Keep up the great work and looking forward to reading your writing on substack :)

[@ratioetscientia]

I think any real change starts with a radical (sort of buddhist) acceptance of reality, with opening your eyes and actually looking at what’s there. I feel I spent a lot of time in a disgruntled mental state of “this is all wrong, this shouldn’t be happening. it shouldn’t be this way in the first place” and it prevented me from finding my footing in reality and actually affecting change. A lot of us probably deny ourselves feeling acceptance because we’re afraid it makes us complicit or complacent but it’s a very cathartic feeling and such a relief when you let go of all the collective guilt.

[@geode9512]

Radical acceptance helped w my depression

[@OK-ue]

Kristen said that we can't delegate tasks to people we don't trust, and I agree. Trust is the most important thing in our lives and in our societies too. If we want to build something collective, then trust is the only way to achieve that, and that makes all collective things inherently good because we might not have control over them, but we do them with trust. So, my correction would be let go of personal guilt but not of collective guilt.

[@tea_wizard]

needed this, thank you

[@Maryo7]

I SO NEEDED TO SEE THIS COMMENT! THANK YOU!❤

[@JessKatz]

I relate so hard to relinquishing control when it comes to sustainability/our planet/the world around us. I feel like sometimes for very empathetic (& maybe controlling lol) people becoming vegan & learning about where our clothes are made & how plastic is killing the planet etc etc can be such a slippery slope into feeling stressed over the state of the world all the time. Growing up and maturing is realising the world isn’t that black and white, and all we can do is try our best each day & that may look different day to day

[@officialnicholas1]

"nobody cares" mind you i have been checking the channel every few weeks thinking youtube sneak unsubbed me !! welcome back

[@KristenLeo]

Omg 😭🩷 that’s so sweet dang!

[@serrgggeo]

It's not about transcendence babe, it's about embodiment. Sounds like you are going through a transformational period where it's not just about loss (of stability) or isolation (not making close friendships at this time, etc), but about the dissolution of old forms to make way for new ones, and we see that budding.

[@architectsneedunions]

It is so good to have you back on KZbin

[@KristenLeo]

Oh I didn’t even get into how being around other control freaks is a whole other beast on its own, sorry you had to go through that at work! 😵‍💫

[@skotskkamel]

Happy to see you back on KZbin!!! 😊 Thank you for all you do.

[@elora5994]

Missed you Kristen ! So glad to see an update ! ❤

[@annastayziaa]

we missed you 🫶🏻 welcome back 🥰

[@luanakiehl1475]

Hi Kristen :) I wasn’t going to comment at first but I wanted to say that 1) I am here for the non clickbaity authentic, calm video, and I’m happy to listen/watch the whole thing (in short, I’m here for you), 2) people (like me) do care even if your back after over a year! I’m actually really resonating with your reflections, your growth, your authentic and vulnerable expression. Sure there might be some that come and go, but we always need to bring our full authentic truth to see what truly resonates! Happy to see you, thanks for your openness, it’s relatable! Also, long time viewers, like me, also have their own lives and growth and reflections in the meantime you are busy living your life, so it’s nice to see us all reflecting, growing, evolving on individual paths, and check back in after that time :) Sending much love for all you chose to be and do 🤎

[@luanakiehl1475]

*and become ✨

[@fireflythinking1290]

You know, your videos about the clothing industry were useful to me :) ! Thanks to creators like you, now I buy all my clothes second-hand.

[@claireisabella7898]

(genuine:) i’m having a really hard time discerning the difference btwn rejecting “taking on the responsibility of the world” and falling in with people who say “i’m not into politics” or “i’m just one person, i can’t change anything.” like how can i still align myself with important political movements if i think my individual contributions are effectively irrelevant?

[@foamsoap41]

agree, really dislike the messaging in the video which feels like self-interest is more important than trying to do good for others/the world.

[@heavenshaffer]

As a cat mom, I have to listen to the cats wants. I can't just hold her whenever I want or grab her wherever I want. I had to let go of a sense of control. My brother-in-law got a cat to teach his young children about consent. Because a cat will attack of you do something to them if they don't like it.

[@annaandre9131]

So true!

[@aleksandrachrzanowska7885]

wow you put it into words so beautifully! perfect metaphor with the cat

[@phoebegonzales]

Yay welcome back! Have been subscribed for about a decade. I enjoy whatever type of content you put out there; chill or involved, scripted and theatrical or not. Still great topics discussed, and with great humour :D

[@PriscillaPimentel-j8k]

I am so happy youre in this era Kristen, thanks for opening this space and sharing

[@jenniferwalker9616]

A cat person and a control freak here! I hadn't realised I had control issues till I went to the therapy but everything you said here I totally resonated with: trying to stop bad things from happening in advance, trying to avoid making mistakes in advance, the anxiety about all of that, totally! Feeling more stoic these days with things I can't control in the world and my anxiety is much lower (thanks therapy and running), but still, it's there in the background. PS. Great to have you back :)

[@adalinekerr6891]

OMG I am both a control freak and a cat person! I’ve enjoyed every phase of your channel. You’ve made a huge impact on my life because I started learning about and boycotting fast fashion because of you, and now years later I’m literally sewing my own clothes while listening to your new video.

[@bethbrown8249]

We so desperately need more chill on the internet, thank you for holding space for us to breathe here

[@lorablaaaa]

I think youre a very smart, kind, funny, genuine person with a lovely, bright personality, i’ve always followed you because i think you’re inspiring and your videos make me feel better. Glad you’re back here ❤

[@KristenLeo]

Why u so damn sweet!?? 🥹 thank you!!!

[@ghosted1996]

I literally just looked you up yesterday bc I was thinking about you. Ofc you’re in tune with the fundamental rhythms of the universe. Thank you for your vulnerability and frankness and intelligence, this is the kind of content that resonates so deeply with me.

[@tuesmonsoliel8241]

I looked her up the other day when I realized I haven't seen her in a long time, and was saddened when I saw she hasn't been active on KZbin lol! Weird how the universe works

[@divergentgurl1414]

@@tuesmonsoliel8241 me too!

[@UnapologeticallyAria]

Ahhh you come back at the most divine time! You are a muse of mine for choosing to be more expressive with my conscious fashion choices and I started posting try-on hauls of gifted & thrifted clothing... which resulted in one of them recently going "viral" and now I am on my way to being monetized! I appreciate your ripple effect in my life and I look forward to seeing your life evolution.

[@muovipussi333]

I’ve been on a similar journey from feeling personally responsible for the world, to blaming everything on the world to now taking responsibility for myself and reflecting on myself. I’ve fallowed this channel for years, since about 2019 and it feels in a parasocial way like we’ve gone through this together. I’ve also been in a relationship for over a year now and it has been difficult sometimes but I’ve grown SO much in this year. I think I shouldn’t feel so connected to a stranger on the internet, but our journeys in life just seem so similar😅 Also welcome back we missed you!!

[@the1r1s]

Hey girlll hey!! so nice having you back and hearing you talk on here again! Also that last part about not feeling guilt when being powerless in regards to the environment was something i really needed to hear !!

[@Kathrin_yt]

I can't watch right now, but just wanted to say I'm really happy to see you post again, looking forward to catching up on this later!

[@sarahu.38]

Welcome baaaaack! I loved hearing you articulate your various previous “eras” as well as the one you’re in now. Super interested to see how you approach your content with this new frame of mind. I’ll be here for it!

[@AnankéNebeská]

Kristen, thank you so so so so much for this video! Perhaps it's exactly what KZbin needs and rest assured that there are people who appreciate this format 🤍 It felt like a therapy session - a really heartwarming and cosy one 🙌🏻 I ended up taking notes and writing down thoughts which I want to talk about with my partner, friends and therapist and I'm absolutely loving the richness of what you have created ❤ Welcome back ✨

[@CarolChillsCasually]

Welcome back, I’ve always enjoyed hearing your point of view on things. Just be your authentic self. Don’t do anything for the algo. This type of video is great, listening to you chat while I work on chores is great.

[@Nelferch]

So much of this resonated, glad you’re back!

[@faciesfan]

letting go of perfectionism is not easy. even after learning and internalizing love for myself, i have come to harsh realisations that i was acting out of the idea that i was not enough. everytime i think i might be in a good spot, eventually i find another place where my perfectionism has manifested itself and only then i realise what has been in my way all along. letting go of control is a muscle you have to train again and again. from a tentatively spiritual viewpoint, and at the risk of sounding corny, for me it has been healing to think things happen for a reason, good and bad, and for no greater purpose than just to live life as it comes. Welcome welcome welcome back to this corner of the internet

[@channingroth6558]

I was just having a conversation about surrender - letting go of control. What a beautiful serendipity that you posted a video today!

[@findingthebroom]

istg i literally thought about how i missed you just 2 days ago, now i open youtube and you're back?? yay! welcome back

[@avadhi2671]

Glad to have you back! And what a stellar episode to make a comeback with!! Man, u going into details of identification a control freak is, was surreal. Knew these things individually at some point, but Thank you for piecing them together for us!

[@eliadavis3881]

We missed you!! ❤ so happy you are back! You have no idea how many times I would check your channel the whole year to make sure I didn’t miss any new video.

[@KristenLeo]

Omg MISSED YOU TOO! 🥹🩷🧚‍♂️

[@victoriaros.e]

I am so happy you are back, I've been checking on your channel all the time💖💖💖💖😭

[@KristenLeo]

You’re so sweet! 😭🩷🩷🩷

[@zsemma6599]

ohmygodddd, you're back!

[@SmallMadame]

Just listened you've missed your homeland and wanted to send some kisses from Greece. You've got this Kristen, we carry ourselves and the mediterranean spirit wherever we go. Keep going girl!

[@aistemusic]

Welcome back! It’s so good to see you ❤❤❤

[@kyriakess3746]

Why this sooo relatable? 😂😅 Crying watching this video and then being interrupted by your sarcasm with laughs - best combo for stress relief. ❤

[@DreamyJuly17]

Kristeeen I was thinking about you the other day! I like to think I've manifested seeing you on here again 🫡 welcome back

[@Julia-nr9jo]

I am glad to have you back! It‘s like I did forget about you posting but also like you haven‘t been gone at all?? Your honesty is always so refreshing. I went through such eras! It’s time. for self responsibility - I love and hate it at the same time

[@Julia-nr9jo]

Cat person!

[@badtastefor3v3r]

great to hear from you and all your updates!

[@Randomstuffs261]

I prayed and prayed that this day would come. THANK YOU JESUS The Great Leo drought of 2024 is OVER Welcome back Kristen, home dawg. Great to see you again!

[@KristenLeo]

LOL I hope you're quenched boo

[@mackydeebs6345]

Omg welcome back can’t wait to listen I need it too!

[@fireflythinking1290]

I read somewhere that people have who faced zero significant difficulties in life actually feel less happy than people who have had several challenges... So, I guess we should be grateful for the difficult too...

[@invidusspectator3920]

I can say that this is true from personal experience

[@Presence0nly]

I've been watching your vids since probably 7 yrs and i love seeing you again 🫶🏻 welcome back ✨️💕🎀❤️

[@carlatyson-w2m]

l feeI like so many girls don't know the secrets they deserve to know. I found this book,' The Irresistible Seduction Formula' by Olivia Simmons and it’s literally life changer. Has anyone else heard of it?

[@sparklejumprope_ghoul]

I was thinking about you a few days ago, so glad you're back!

[@sandrinebj7456]

Congrats on finishing your book!!! 🥳👏🏻💓✨ Also had to say you hair looks gorgeous ! 🤩

[@adellmorth6517]

my attention span is ON for your posdact type videos to come!!!! so glad to see you again on youtube ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

[@KristenLeo]

The lil sheep! OMG 😍😍😍

[@haradimitropoulou3443]

It's funny how I thought of you recently and wondered where you've been. Then, here you are making a comeback discussing control freak behaviour and finding peace step by step while discovering your inner self. I'm here in Greece at 23 realising I go through that stuff on a daily basis trying to build my future sustaining my independency. Wishing the best in everyone healing. Felakia Kristen 😂❤. Always loved your content and your growth as a person 💞

[@UnapologeticallyAria]

This video is so relatable... I am so grateful to have lived in various countries and gained resilience and adaptability... yet at this phase in my life, I am making goals towards creating more stability and predictability. Is this what "adulting" feels like? Ahhh I am so happy to evolve to this era.

[@annmaryts]

πόσο χαίρομαι που επέστρεψες!

[@stevecooper3510]

Ethical vegan since ‘76. I liked a lot of your earlier content and feel empathy for your intent. Every effort to help people be more aware of various issues is valuable. Yes, as individuals, our decisions regarding boycotts etc have little impact. But if millions/tens of millions of people make decisions to do less harm, we can collectively bring about change. Deny them what they desperately seek…money…and send a message to politicians bc actions speak louder than words. I agree with you, it’s pointless to hold our breath. However, isn’t it better to be part of the solution instead of the problem, regardless of outcome?

[@meggierocks]

I think you totally missed the point she was trying to make in this video

[@stevecooper3510]

@@meggierocks I can understand why you think that. What do think is her point?

[@agnese16]

agreed! also, boycotts have been proven to be effective in holding big corporations accountable. so while the rich 1% does an amount of damage that is much bigger, individual actions matter!

[@NB-lx6gz]

I have a feeling that her girlfriend is feeding these thoughts to her now...the awkward little laughs makes it seem like she is also questioning it. well we all change I guess no matter due to what circumstances.

[@alexandragazso6368]

Missed you terribly! Here is my contribution to you research: I do enjoy the presence of dogs, I even like living with them..but I’m the total cat lady. Also hard core control freek, insanely similar to you! (This is why you being back and talking about this means the world to me!!)

[@Leniruns]

Welcome back Kristen! Yup, I can confirm, I am a control freak and a cat person. Therapy helps :) Also, your delivery and filming style are exactly why I love your content!

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

It’s been interesting seeing you come to this conclusion. It’s been fun seeing the journey. I hope your new life in America I what you want. I hope you find happiness in life. I’m glad you’re back.

[@nesryn00]

So proud of you!! Keep doing what brings you joy!

[@KristenLeo]

🥹🥹🥹

[@megthemouse]

I’m so glad you’re back! 💕And it’s so reassuring to hear you talk about perfectionism and the fear of uncertainty because it’s so overwhelming sometimes. I’ve been struggling with it big time recently and just want to get over it already 😩

[@saskia....]

I read your piece on individualism the other day and loved it! Now seeing you here makes my heart sing! You have been missed! ❤

[@hollyerinn]

missed you! I relate too hard to this video. glad to see you back and can't wait to see what the future holds for you, and to eventually get my hands on that book!!!

[@aenva]

omg the queen is back!!

[@mentalcat9529]

I do this too, i judge myself and also others harshly, even if i identity as a kind good person externally but inside i also have this energy of judgment especially myself. I have high standards for myself and others and i want to be different in this year, try to feel less insecure and worry less about the outcome of what i do

[@unchartedwithtorrie]

This was perfect my dear. And not because you did all the right things but because you did YOU. ♥️ cheers for your new era! May it bring freedom and love!

[@moona3338]

In 1848 Seneca Falls Woman's Rights Convention marked the beginning of the women's rights movement in the United States. And i guess if womans would think that their action would not change anything, then we women would be really f* right now. And i really think that change to the better is always possible if people unite. Every good change in the world stardet from small individuals and you chanel really contribute to vision for a better world and we really need that.

[@foamsoap41]

this felt kind of like it was dancing around the point

[@oxandud]

It is very nice to see you here again ❤. Welcome back to KZbin!

[@katzuy5093]

Oooh I just thought about you few days ago and wondered if you will ever come back. I always loved your style so much. You are such an inspiration 💕

[@Ttt-x6g]

Welcome back. Was thinking about you few days ago 🥰🥰🥰

[@black-nails]

I just looked at your channel earlier today and noticed that you haven't posted in a while! Glad to see you back

[@stevecooper3510]

I watched until the end, without any bells and whistles. Been watching since near the beginning of this channel, without ever crushing on you :) There’s a market for your content, Kristen!

[@tumorlolita]

Loved the honesty couch session! So glad you came back to share your journey of self-alignment with us. It inspires me to work on mine too ❤

[@sarahderksen4945]

In what ways has the US culture effected your relationship to self-improvement? Personally consuming American media about partly caused previous burn-outs..

[@sarahderksen4945]

Don't get me wrong I think it's helpful the way you put your thoughts into words

[@JM-hd3lr]

I’m glad you’re back!! your book sounds super interesting and i loved the setting of the video

[@JM-hd3lr]

I agree with you about not being able to fully control the global worming, anti-racism, and anti-misogyny etc.. as a whole BUT i believe we can all try to impact positively the world as much as we possibly can. That’s what matters, trying under our own circumstances and with our ressources and learning as we go. I believe your videos helped a lot and I’m sad to hear that you felt this immense amount of pressure and guilt but it doesn’t have to be that way. We should thrive for balance and take care of ourselves while caring about these bigger issues as much as we possibly can!!

[@helenachwierut7349]

I missed you Kristen!!! ❤ So good to hear from you ❤

[@phyliciajoykloes]

Kristen! It is so great to see you again! Congratulations on finishing your book! I wish for you to find a publisher! Also, yes girl! Living together with your partner is filled with lessons. I wish you and your partner well. Also yesss-ah! I like Florida a lot. I used to call it my home before. The nature is stunning for sure. You got this, girl! Give yourself time meeting friends. Some of my friends still live there, in Tampa and St. Pete. Have you visited the Three Sisters Springs yet? PS I appreciate this conversation! Letting go of control is difficulttttt! Unlearning perfectionism is too. Wishing you well! PPS Learning and practicing mindfulness has helped me out so much. Also, I've learned the past couple of years that I most likely have ADHD which has helped me understand and accept myself further. I don't want to add to your list of things you must do, but I wish for you to have a similar experience of understanding yourself and accepting the way you are! You're great!

[@guelkaratas5164]

GOOSEBUMPS a few days ago I was thinking about you....welcome back ❤

[@saturnswitch9297]

Finallyyyy!!! OMG! I was waiting for your return for hundred years! 🤣 Seriously, so glad to see you this video.

[@alicakubatkova1711]

the voice that tells you everything that could go wrong coud be useful in risk management, which is part of project management and that's a great career for control freaks!

[@KristenLeo]

**Opens linkedin**

[@ericbooth4772]

Welcome back Kristen! I missed you! ❤❤❤

[@dorotheecc8986]

Glad to have you back! ❤ Your book sounds really good!

[@green.velvetdreams]

Oh also, I’ve been thinking about you and was very happy to see you had uploaded! Your book sounds fascinating and totally up my alley! Ihope you find an agent soon!

[@rufinakaloyanova]

Really happy that you took time for your writing, that is a tough job! But so worth it for soul-searching and soul-finding.

[@IsabellaDemarko]

girl i relate so hard

[@AnnitaCaniglia]

the US will make anyone an individualist 🥲

[@leenabowman9716]

oh my gosh you had just popped into my head and I was wondering where you had gone and then this video popped up!!!!

[@juliahinders7456]

missed youu! I’m also a control freak, but being in therapy for 5 years now, I know it’s a processo to overcome it Let’s be patient ❤️ (not a cat person kkk def a dog, but I like cats, there cute)

[@creativeb549]

may you be happy and free.

[@TheMissmauramac]

Yea, someone told me at some point "the world isn't yours to fix" and it hit me like a ton of bricks

[@KristenLeo]

Loooove that

[@katarinakorlova4484]

Hey girl, have you heard of IFS (internal family systems)? It explains that voices in your head and teaches you how to work with them. Check it out if you find it interesting.

[@flight-fm]

Welcome back Kristen! We missed you!!!!

[@nisiriti]

I'm glad you finished your book and travelled. Welcome back!

[@VitriolicVermillion]

re: intro: I've never even heard of you, and I clicked through anyway. You've still got the juice.

[@jes5icaP]

Really glad you are back!! I’ve always found you to be a very interesting person. Just having a pretty diplomatically phrased chit chat, drops the C word😂😂😂 hahah so funny man. All the stuff you mentioned usually gets established in early childhood - like age 0-5yr old. I’ve been working on changing things about myself that have been subtly engrained by my mother and her shitty parenting (she did not do it intentionally, but the damage is done). You are right though - once we grow up, we can reprogram ourselves for the better.

[@KristenLeo]

The c word is not used enough imo! Lol but yeah the reprogramming is HARD ugh!

[@whatkeepsmeupatnight33]

she’s baaaaaack and better than eveeeer 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@Erich8]

The other day I was thinking about KZbinrs who haven’t uploaded in a while and thought of you, then I see this :) Great video!

[@Ghmnhg14]

Happy to see and hear you❤

[@raapyna8544]

Becoming medicated for adhd helped me have just one train of thought going on at once in my head. And sometimes even clearing my head and thinking about nothing, if I want to. It was a weird silence the first time it happened. I was above a loud dining hall on campus and could listen to the silence in my head. Never thought that was a symptom before that. I started to notice how much calmer the world was too. The town wasn't screaming at me anymore. I'm also an environmentalist but I've never been a control freak. Mainly because I've always been messy and 'lazy'. If I was vegan, I would not eat a some days, so I call mydelf planetarian, but nobody knows what that means, so I switch up the label on forms. (I go to lots of events) I also recently had to come to terms with the fact that the world will necessarily not become all better in a few years when I want to start a family. I'll brobably die of old age trying to make it better. But I know I matter and make an impact in my friends' and family's lives. So when I will die, I mattered.

[@kallibalta8696]

GIRL YES. Very happy to see you again❤ also... your hair is hairing 😍 I also have to confess "I am a control freak...and a cat person." 🐈 😅

[@KristenLeo]

Thank you for participating in this very serious study 🤓 my theory is confirmed with every comment!