Bad Things To Say At A Wedding | Mock The Week

[@MockTheWeek]

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[@theunknown8595]

Reported for misleading title. The first one was about unllikely lines from a thriller.

[@theunknown8595]

Br./aea./in./de./ea./ad thief.

[@dfgd2402]

Reported for misleading title. The first one was about unllikely lines from a thriller.

[@dfgd2402]

Reported for misleading title. The first one was about unllikely lines from a thriller.

[@dfgd2402]

Reported for misleading title. The first one was about unllikely lines from a thriller.

[@szczerzo]

No matter the topic you can always count on a Temporary Replacement Bus.

[@martini668]

Or mega bus

[@wayne20uk]

Im sorry this joke wasnt funny, but we can send you a replacement joke that is just as funny?

[@lilymarinovic1644]

@@wayne20uk just as funny but heaps slower....

[@nealjroberts4050]

Except getting you there on time...

[@willowtree6487]

I love the Michael McIntyre joke about where else in the world do you book a ticket for a train, and find yourself on a bus. Obviously the full joke is funnier...

[@barnabywilliams3334]

bad things to say at a wedding : "welcome back"

[@sjtimmer7]

Probably Graham Norton... or someone impersonating him, like Tom Hiddleston or Benedict Cumberbatch.

[@tobiasfischer7921]

@@sjtimmer7 sooo... welcomebackwelcomebackwelcomeback

[@JeveGreen]

That's actually a good one. It made me laugh.

[@hypsyzygy506]

"Oh. It's you again."

[@michaelscott6022]

*Unlikely Lines From A Thriller:* "AAUGH!! THE BUTT-MUNCHER'S GOT ME!!" *Bad Things To Say At A Wedding:* "AAUGH!! THE BUTT-MUNCHER'S GOT ME!!"

[@ivaneames4354]

I was waiting for that one to be the first wedding one. So disappointed when it didn't happen.

[@turbobrain1342]

True story. My parents got married on Sunday after church. There had been a funeral the day before. You guessed it ... they reused the flowers left over from the funeral.

[@jake-amirblumenfeldwitz6068]

if i was the dead person id be happy about that :)

[@sisamusudroka3000]

@@nahadoth2087 it's about time people realise you won't find God in church

[@Master_Petes_Theater]

@@nahadoth2087 The church's decision to remove the flowers was the epitome of pettiness!

[@rogueuniversities6866]

@@nahadoth2087 Years ago, a number of vicars and priests helped people. These days, I find the only ones with any inclination to bother, in England anyway, are the Baptists and sometimes the Methodists.

[@Mammutidae]

Thrifty.

[@nejitentenlee21]

I love the way Frankie would stand over people’s shoulders like a Scottish Angel of Death

[@CricketEngland]

Yea but the show has been so much better since he was kicked off

[@Damian_1989]

It was a tradeoff, Frankie's departure made the show lose edge but allowed for more people to participate equally

[@jamesfisher5233]

@@CricketEngland it really hasn’t

[@CricketEngland]

@@jamesfisher5233 oh it really has he was a twat on the show it better with more different comedians

[@mjmaccabee7252]

@@Damian_1989 Not at all, Hugh Dennis is still there. Always jumping in aggressively, never once giving way when anyone else arrives at the mic simultaneously -- it's especially obvious when the other comic is a woman or a relative newbie.

[@TomFynn]

Bad things to say at a wedding: "I do." Can't argue with that one.

[@N.I.R.A.T.I.A.S.]

2:07 Guaranteed Russell just did that joke to show off his abs.

[@McKavian]

Can't really blame him, can you?

[@dazzawazza3578]

@@McKavian if vanity is your thing then I suppose not!

[@McKavian]

@Yan Terahn nope, not even close to it. I have one great big ab that is still soft in the middle. Though, I am 50+ and have lost 35+kg in the last year. I also have yet a ways to go. I've spent most of my time walking on flat surfaces, now I'm going to do mountain trails. So, not envious nor jealous of you, Russell or anyone. I'm going at my own pace.

[@McKavian]

@Yan Terahn yes, I misunderstood what your intent. However, it would be ignorant of me and churlish to assume your body shape just from one statement. I understand that there are many children on here that should not be allowed to respond to others.

[@heyokaikaggen6288]

Yes because the Dara was here tatto would definitely be round the back...

[@JmDGamez]

Don’t get me wrong, I love Frankie, but Hugh has to be my all time favourite comedian to grace MTW

[@martynkal.1248]

Yes! I love Hugh! I loved him on Taskmaster as well :)

[@just-tess]

Desky!!! the people's champion!

[@kougerat5388]

Stewart Francis " I do " Nailed it right there 😂

[@jonathanfraser321]

i dont get it!

[@jenniferd37]

He’s saying getting married is bad.

[@lisahenry20]

I'm glad he didn't back down from the mic. I don't think it would have worked quite as well if it hadn't been the first one.

[@Supertimegamingify]

Frankie's definitely said most of those things at weddings.

[@swingardium706]

"Thank you all for coming to my sister's wedding. I know I'm not alone in feeling a strange sense of déjà vu, but oh well, third time's the charm, eh Melissa?"

[@Kara_Kay_Eschel]

I told a good friend of mine that if I ever get married (a big if) that he should start his speech with ‘I see some familiar faces…’

[@Tralby19]

Hughs first wedding one was brilliant

[@johnthelesserofthethirdoft863]

Frankie loitering behind people is sinister

[@just-tess]

dunno if it's true but I saw another comment once, Frankie did that when his lines started getting cut more so he would be in the shot and mess up the continuity for the edit... wouldn't put it past him, love that pettiness.

[@jaggass]

'' I object to the wedding. The weather is shit and it will ruin the pictures''

[@ray8427]

What a show. The minds, everyone on this show is amazing. Thanks from Canada!

[@Xipheas]

Apart from the stranger one in pink who did fuck all!

[@MythicSuns]

2:55 that's bloody impressive if he did that in one take.

[@greatsayain]

I get the feeling he's practiced that many times before.

[@jamiepayton1574]

Yeah it’s possibly a speech warm up he does. Still impressive though!

[@wildman2012]

"I do." He nailed it!

[@alistairrae9807]

And the bride and groom will have their first dance or as we also call the father daughter dance

[@eamonahern7495]

"That was why they call him professor plum" 🤣

[@偉享林]

4:50 I knew it's coming when Frankie said Norfolk.

[@AdrianColley]

"You must be the pretty one." - that's so evil. Hail Eris!

[@heyokaikaggen6288]

Ellen/Portia

[@pineapplepenumbra]

2:46 I turned on the auto-generated subtitles, just to see what they would make of that.

[@davidgeorge1943]

Enemy and makaraka rare right Dominic I can kick a pocket lollipopper on pon.

[@pineapplepenumbra]

@@davidgeorge1943 Exactly! (Except you forgot the "push" at the end). Btw, I had completely forgotten about that comment, so wondered what the hell you were on about when the notification came up in my inbox. It all makes sense now.

[@kylestubbs8867]

(2:56)

[@pineapplepenumbra]

@@kylestubbs8867 I needed time to turn the subtitles on...

[@iamtheresurrection5603]

Bob Mortimer tells a story of doing the best man’s speech at his brother’s wedding. “It’s nice to see both them together, the bride’s legs that is.” Didn’t get a laugh 😂

[@TomFynn]

I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll.

[@deanconnor5528]

"When John went down on one knee I had no idea he was having a stroke"

[@heyokaikaggen6288]

Yes but what was he stroking?

[@kingda117]

Did the spunk get on your shoes?

[@namealreadytakenT_T]

Frankie: 10 Hugh: 7 Russell: 5 Andy: 3 Stewart: 2 Zoe: 1 Frankie was hogging the mic so hard, moving up before the jokes were done, I had to count who came in how many times.

[@Liusila]

I didn’t even see there was a woman before reading this, wow

[@Thisisace]

Bear in mind, they record more than this, and it's edited to use the best lines.

[@RedDragonTails]

1:41 you can hear someone go "uh oh."

[@DERIC4REAL328]

I kept my promise about never mentioning what we did that night 😂

[@Kara_Kay_Eschel]

I agree with the ‘I do’.

[@milosummers2779]

Didn’t know Russel Howard was ripped

[@khionebrusotti9113]

Gordon ramsay in a horror film "they're only peppers! How long is this salad going to take ?!"

[@lizzied9057]

POV: you’re too anxious to sleep

[@v8trauma]

2:55 could have prevented so many mistakes.

[@sepehrdaghbandan7964]

Franky is in a different level!

[@ciaran_keady]

Different planet to some of the muppets on latest series

[@kingda117]

"Barry is a lucky, lucky man. Shantelle is a real goer" "Why did you agree that I am the best man, when you stole her from me?"

[@casbot71]

4:12 Would actually be a good laugh to say at a wedding. I'm going to suggest my brother uses this for his firstborn, who's nickname is hell spawn. As a teenager she liked to collect health pamphlets and leave them around her room for her unsuspecting mother to find. The pamphlets were on teen pregnancy… [No, she's never been pregnant].

[@TheMcgreary]

God what a legend😂

[@easyaro]

There needs to be a crossover between mock the week and whose line

[@DokkaChapman]

I mean... they were created by the same people, but sure.

[@stevenblakeley4452]

To the Bride's family, I would like to say, congratulations, to the Groom's family, I would like to say welcome back, can't believe he picked me as his best man again.

[@jbcatz5]

Here on Married at First Sight we see Jerry meet his new bride Rebecca. What is his first impression? “My god, what’s that thing on her face? Wait, that’s her actual face? Oh bollocks I quit.”

[@holdencross5904]

That show is honestly shocking but I won’t judge you.

[@jbcatz5]

Holden Cross I don’t watch it, consider it bottom of the barrel concept and a mockery of relationships and marriage. Therefore it is very mockable itself.

[@Sameer-Mustafah-Raza1-2-1]

Russell: “Professor *PLUM!”* 1:17😆 That is *NUTS* if you ask me! 🤭

[@ThumbsandfingersRequired]

bad things to hear at a wedding NO!!

[@heyokaikaggen6288]

Elaine!!!

[@mrpokemon1186]

I like how the thumbnail says “AAAA”

[@laceneil4570]

"Congratulations to the bride. One thing tho, Lucy, I just can't believe that you had the nerve to wear white!"

[@andrewharrison7767]

Having Andy, Russell & Frankie on says how long ago this was 🤣- almost as much as Dara still having hair!

[@Vodaph0ne]

Back when it was actually good!

[@kjamison5951]

On thanking her parents-in-law for the fancy coffee maker, the drunk bride accidentally said, “Thank you for giving me such a lovely perky copulator!”

[@zedekiahstephens4161]

I was expecting to hear someone claim that they slept with either the bride or the groom the previous night.

[@kingda117]

The groom is a lucky, lucky man. The bride is a real goer.

[@rogerbarton497]

or both

[@just-tess]

all else aside, the clothing contrast between the two teams is striking!

[@SEB1991SEB]

“And with the power vested in me by our supreme galactic overlord Xenu...”

[@7lvnblue464]

Frankie hasn't been on for years yet his jokes have lasted far longer

[@jeffcarroll1990shock]

"A diabolical scheme involving giant space laser? That's not a valid excuse as to why you didn't come back from your lunch break yesterday"

[@mjmaccabee7252]

WHY TF don't they list the performers in these clips? (Nope, it's not in the description this time -- or most times.)

[@tetrime3014]

It gives the season and episode in the description, you can find everyone pretty easily from there

[@elizabethhalt2096]

They are all in the description, you just have to take more than two seconds to look

[@mjmaccabee7252]

@@elizabethhalt2096 @Elizabeth Halt No need to be snotty, especially as _you_ need to read a little more closely. The description for this ep is a general one, an 'evergreen' that can be used for every show. Romesh is not on this episode, for instance, and whoever that woman was doesn't even get named.

[@philjones9900]

@@mjmaccabee7252 Andy Parsons, Zoe Lyons, Russell Howard, Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Stewart Francis

[@mjmaccabee7252]

@@philjones9900 Mille grazie!

[@shafta2010]

This is so old Dara still has hair!

[@jackywackydoodah2821]

2:21

[@21anusha]

🤣🤣🤣'i do' 🤣🤣🤣

[@eastender7765]

Frankie gets pats on the head from the BBC now 🤫

[@camilogonzalez5576]

So, is Norfolk like the British Alabama?

[@rhyscarter3939]

Yep.

[@K1lostream]

Norfolk is a lot older, so really Alabama is like the American Norfolk!

[@samuellawrencesbookclub8250]

Honestly, most folks think anywhere outside of London is British Alabama

[@heyokaikaggen6288]

Well, except that Alabama has much better food, much better music, much better weather and the Crimson Tide

[@heyokaikaggen6288]

@@K1lostream Alabama gave birth to Nat King Cole, Percy Sledge, Big Mama Thornton, Wilson Picket, Candi Staton and Martha Reeves. Norfolk managed turnips.

[@milosummers2779]

Just realised the big microphone is obsolete and they’re all wearing those tiny clothes mics

[@Lord_Skeptic]

Gosh that Italian family at the next table sure is quiet

[@Chris-zx1ez]

First mock the week video I've watched in years and it didn't even make me smirk. Has my taste in comedy changed? 🙁

[@SidneyBroadshead]

*_Mock the Week_* (S07, Ep05; August 6, 2009) Host: Dara O'Briain Team 1: Andy Parsons (captain 1), Zoe Lyons, Russell Howard. Team 2: Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis (captain 2), Stewart Francis.

[@lillywho]

Bloody hell, Russel's been at it... 🥴

[@Ritual75]

took him nearly 2 minutes to come up with "here's simon"

[@henrikhyrup3995]

1:04 you will then ask him... *Are you paying too much for your car insurance??*

[@shadowbrine114]

Fuck the news I just want a whole show of scenes we'd like to see

[@CountryHotStuff]

I have John down for three months Ted for eight and James has a year any others takers?

[@karinberonius8799]

I was at a wedding where I overheard the father of the bride say: "I give it three years, tops."

[@analogueclockbop]

I love how you can tell whether or not it's from before quarantine by whether or not they're far apart😄🍊

[@heyokaikaggen6288]

Frankie Boyle left in 2009

[@jesseberg3271]

See, in America that last joke wouldn't have worked. The American Norfolk is in the south east part of regular Virginia, whereas the joke would be told about the seperate State of West Virginia.

[@TheVirtuoso883]

Country roads take me home

[@lomax343]

For Norfolk substitute Alabama.

[@jesseberg3271]

@@lomax343 where I grew up, I heard Alabama jokes much less commonly than West Virginia jokes. Of course, that was before the dark times, before memes.

[@PjD0150]

2:07 did the people who made Blindspot get the idea from Russel

[@leonrussell9607]

Think he was referencing memento

[@torresko211]

Im a simple man, I see Frankie in the thumbnail, I click

[@Simon_PieMan]

That’s why our society is in the sad state it is. Sheep.

[@torresko211]

@@Simon_PieMan??? Sheep are the people who still watch Mock The Week and BBC...

[@deanconnor5528]

@@Simon_PieMan our society is hardly nazi Germany

[@hypsyzygy506]

@@deanconnor5528 That comment didn't age well...

[@deanconnor5528]

@@hypsyzygy506 well compare to actual Nazi Germany I'd say it still stands.

[@nu-metalfan2654]

Ah yes back when the show was actually good

[@GHOST91991]

Great wedding when's the funeral?

[@stegomon]

Love it

[@johngoodwin764]

I always thought it was a bit rude how Frankie would push in before the others could enjoy the laughs

[@CricketEngland]

Oh god Frankie Boyle, this must be old.

[@FALslayer]

You wouldn't know with Hugh looking the same as he did 16 years ago

[@OHutchinson04]

@@FALslayer Hugh Denis is like Keanu reeves, the older he gets, the thicker his beard becomes

[@Cruddy129]

I guess the camera quality didnt lead that on...

[@deanconnor5528]

You really don't like frankie do u haha seen u slagging his name up here before😭🤣

[@dontspikemydrink9382]

@@Cruddy129 someone left some smudge on it after disinfecting it ;)

[@adamwintle1002]

Now before the best man speech I’d like to thank rage shadow legends for sponsoring this wedding it wouldn’t be possible with out you

[@CD-db1zo]

Is Zoe going to say anything?

[@docoqueen]

She tried a few times

[@francesquinn-escott744]

That's what I thought - no one's going to just hand her the Mike - go get it!

[@graemehall9537]

Russell looks like he is about q5 years old here lol

[@BenPanced]

MUM! I CAN ANSWER THE VICAR'S QUESTIONS MYSELF!

[@carl1295]

2:40 based

[@josephlawson9950]

Whose line is anyway did this better

[@SeanSinclair821]

Love how the blond kid chose a joke that would let him show off his abs. Good move, I think

[@fman02]

Dara has really piled on the timber since this was first shown.

[@heyokaikaggen6288]

I think that Hugh grossly misrepresented Amanda Holden, I think you could definitely persuade her down to two if they were both millionaires.

[@warwicktregurtha4198]

That girl in pink didn't do a lot.

[@rohiniguiland4873]

The basic thing not to say at a wedding Can you believe she wore white.

[@nigelh8985]

Lol!

[@OAKIE9531]

love zoe lyons...yes i know

[@rachelfox8108]

I think he means "the father/uncle of the bride and groom".

[@romainsavioz5466]

nope the father of the bride and groom ( so not cousins or maybe half-cousins )

[@rachelfox8108]

@@romainsavioz5466 Considering the implication is this is a brother and sister marrying, it stands to reason that their parents did the same thing, making the father also their uncle. That's the joke.

[@romainsavioz5466]

@@rachelfox8108 you are looking to much into this also it would still be the father of both

[@rachelfox8108]

@@romainsavioz5466 I'm not arguing that he's not the father of both of them. And if you don't like me looking further than the surface, that's not my problem.

[@mjmaccabee7252]

@@rachelfox8108 How odd that it's always guys announcing that women in the Comments "think too much." The follow-up accusation is inevitably that we need to get a sense of humor. . . .

[@crabsy6452]

I bet 10k it wont last a year

[@davidoreilly7328]

Thriller HEEEEEEEERES oh shit sorry ma’am wrong door Wedding Jesus how pissed was I when I proposed to you?!?!?!?!?? Lad your best man speech was hilarious

[@chijindu2002]

🤣🤣🤣💕

[@petermeichan3160]

wish i could find a woman like her, never says a word

[@herschelgould2126]

Frankie and Russell have fallen from such grace

[@Xipheas]

Was the one in the pink top just there to get a better view?

[@eternaltsuki8188]

54, clean the floor

[@TheLaughingMagpie]

We need to find a Third Man, turns out our slip cordon is exceptionally useless

[@rhyscarter3939]

Bad things to say at a wedding: 'I, Donald Trump, take thee, Ivanka Trump to be my lawfully wedded wife.'

[@johnnybelle2686]

'I, Joe Biden, take thee, Xi Jinping to be my lawfully wedded master.'

[@johnnybelle2686]

@Scum Spawn whats q got to do with it

[@johnnybelle2686]

@Scum Spawn Nice side-stepping my question. Anyway thats my fav tina turner song. What's yours?

[@johnnybelle2686]

@Scum Spawn .... you keep mentioning random things. First Tina Tuner, now the vaccine. U okay bud?

[@Master_Petes_Theater]

@@johnnybelle2686 "I, Donald J. Trump, take thee, Kim Jong Un, to be my lawfully wedded master." Kim led him on and played him for a fool and annulled that "marriage" bigly and with many rocket launches!

[@CricketEngland]

Bad things to say at a Scottish wedding “so glad we gave an invite to that Scottish comedian off Mock the Week”

[@heyokaikaggen6288]

Imagine being relieved that it's Kevin Bridges...

[@shaunweston2310]

Back when Frankie Boyle was funny

[@maxtyler8993]

"Welcome to Who's Line is it Anyway..."

[@Master_Petes_Theater]

Dan Patterson produced both shows.