Badly Translated Chinese History

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I translated Wikipedia's timeline of Chinese History from 2000BC all the way to the modern day using languages with terrible translation quality, this was the result.
MUSIC
China (Medieval) - Sid Meier’s Civilisation VI
Dragon Driftway - Mario Kart Deluxe 8
Orient Express/Midnight Run - Crash Bandicoot 3
Tank - Left 4 Dead
(China) Battle Theme 1 - Command & Conquer: Generals
Jade Ambitions (Kairis Soundtrack) - Europa Universalis IV
Battle of Wuhan - Hearts of Iron IV
Dragon Palace - Mario Kart Deluxe 8
China (The Atomic Era) - Sid Meier’s Civilisation VI
subscription you know and like it oh yep

[@starvharv]

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[@christopherpietramala6283]

You deserve way more subs than you have

[@Ham10285]

@@christopherpietramala6283he does

[@disneydaniel3163]

Can you do bad translate in Walt Disney’s history?

[@doctortwilight]

I'm surprised you got a sponsor. I'm happy for you.

[@linkfreeman1998]

First Starvharv sponsorship lets go

[@nicholask7566]

10:18 It took me a bit to realize that "Music Industry" was likely the translator messing up the "Song Dynasty"

[@Katonato]

omg amazing catch lol

[@stevemc01]

"Music Industry loses 50000 villagers to cannonballism"

[@Kingdom_Of_Dreams]

OMGSH I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT!! It makes sense, because it was the Song Dynasty that fell to the Mongols.

[@CapnBlud]

​​@@Kingdom_Of_DreamsIt's not about the Mongol empire yet at that point tho.

[@mmaxine1331]

That's my last name too! 😂

[@lockefosho46]

HE died and understandably became angry lol

[@LastGoatKnight]

He died but he became so angry to Sue that he revived himself

[@Average_NPC_Viewer]

3:57 he was so angry he decided to build an entire Ocean Empire

[@blazi2293]

He is a gamer

[@The_whales]

I like HE lore

[@qoombert]

33 years later

[@NSBlanchi]

I just love the idea of He dying, coming back to life feeling livid and the only way the man is able to cope with his fury is to re-establish fucking Atlantis

[@nordnow]

He is truly the greatest human to have ever lived

[@HungryWarden]

He is an amazing character, I would actually watch a movie about Him.

[@zerogravy7446]

He got fed up with getting killed on land

[@hanchen267]

@@HungryWarden and Her and Me

[@ketchie666]

Is He one of the 8 immortal?

[@pepitomov]

As a Bulgarian myself, yes we really need to have some of our people be held accountable for corruption and tax evasion

[@CapnBlud]

As a Ukrainian, I'm actually surprised it was Bulgarians instead of Ukrainians. Edit: but specifically corruption first and tax evasion second, because the other way around would be extremely ineffective for many reasons.

[@hedgehog3180]

You can have an exchange program with China where you hold them accountable for your own corruption and tax evasion.

[@pepitomov]

@@hedgehog3180 it's all fun and games until you find out that we had a joint initiative for improving freedom of speech with North Korea in 2014 😂😂😂

[@MagisterialVoyager]

omg, spill, bestie.

[@Average_NPC_Viewer]

considering how chaotic chinese history normally is, i‘m not surprised that google translate completetely tears it apart and replaces it by random stuff or HE lore

[@andyfriederichsen]

Even compared to European history?

[@Average_NPC_Viewer]

@@andyfriederichsendefinitely

[@samuraijackson241]

Oh you think the history part is messy? How about the mythology part?

[@homemovelha4173]

>chao ling takes power >247 million perish

[@ExtantPerson]

@@andyfriederichsenOh, absolutely. China’s history makes European history look like a well-organized conga line.

[@lordrobertusiii7813]

About the 8 immortal persons. I think we know at least 3 of them: He, She and I

[@SashatheKing7]

My Belief: 1. He (1:52) - (2:03) (Beginning of the Universe - Now) 2. Me/I (literally everywhere) (Beginning of the Universe - Now) 3. Wang Man (6:57) (300/- Now) 4. Xi Jinping (1:29) (At least 1890 bc - Now) 5. She (12:36) Beginning of the Universe - Now) 6. Joe (Biden?) (0:58) (At least 1985 BC - Now) 7. Pope Francis (11:27) (At least 1289 - Now) 8. Hui Nanji (4:05) (At Least 139 bc - Now(?) (BONUS) 9. Taylor (Swift?) (16:55) (No more Himmler.)

[@idioterpakunkakolan]

@@SashatheKing7 Immortal might just mean they don't die of old age, so the group making up the 8 Immortals of Hong Kong could have different at different times. Oh this has so much lore potential I can feeeeel it.

[@howdoipickaname9815]

Together they are... *WE*

[@MatchaLatteIsLife]

@@SashatheKing7 I'm pretty disturbed by this parallel universe where Himmler is still alive

[@SashatheKing7]

@@MatchaLatteIsLife OH.

[@XiranJayZhao]

The Eight Immortals is actually a real thing in Chinese mythology lmao

[@ThePiotrekpecet]

Didn't expect to see you here

[@victordefinitely2165]

!?!?!??!

[@jack101starZ]

Wow.

[@kirabad-artist6532]

Everything culturally right and wrong with He Lore when?

[@gudmansal3468]

also, one of them literally represents he and another represents she

[@newyorkedit0r]

1:56 It's okay, HE fans. HE has died several times before and immediately comes back to life. He's fine.

[@Orangecat1029]

True

[@orbrat212]

There are 8 immortals and presumably HE is one of them

[@thegreenberretwearingbrony9678]

HE has played this game twice so

[@henriouellet8416]

@@orbrat212 maybe SHE and ME are also immortals?

[@eroth1008]

@@henriouellet8416 SHE seems likely, seeing how long SHE lived. StarvHarv has hinted at ME being the translator, so that'd be quite the twist...

[@TalesofDrCreepYPasta]

Well, looks like I need to add "the masked train", "the blue bus" and "the immortals" to the list of important people/groups of people in the badly translated cinematic universe.

[@crableah]

the 8 immortals sounds so omninous, wonder if we'll ever see more about them

[@LudovicoPetroleumScallywagVII]

@@crableahthey already are, 八仙

[@brendo1143]

@@crableah arent he, she and siblings part of immortals? This is important lore

[@Travelerfrom2024]

​@@crableahI think He, She, the narrator and He's siblings are immortals. Maybe the French tourist too

[@Moehre040]

@@Travelerfrom2024 i mean He, She and the narrator for sure, but since this is the first (and consequently the last) time the siblings are mentioned maybe they aren't.

[@shadowatch4767]

I'm glad the translator knew to interpret RoC as Russian Orthodox Church. It would've been a lot more confusing if it had implied that there was more than one China in China.

[@SrirachaChugChallenge747-jq7by]

🇹🇼☦️🇷🇺🤣😭🤣😭

[@aramos3639]

@@SrirachaChugChallenge747-jq7bypray to the Taiwanese orthodox church 🙏

[@SrirachaChugChallenge747-jq7by]

@@aramos3639 基督教三民主義

[@toasterinfact]

Китайская гойда получается

[@listman3865]

Long Live His Holiness Patriarch Ching-te of the Taipei Patriarchate

[@MichaelRosen-wz4ru]

"The third peaceful transition in Chinese history" 💀💀

[@SakhotGamer]

Yup sounds about right

[@equilibrum999]

hcaung cany pran mranma prats brunei.

[@NahMyTurn]

The only inaccuracy is that the death toll is too low

[@Kingklownmemes]

@equilibrum999 translation?

[@equilibrum999]

@@Kingklownmemes no idea but it just sounds burmese enough.

[@erinsgeography3619]

i like the way that after canton was destroyed, the video went on with guangdong being a sea in the map

[@kiloanempress8943]

I actually picked up on that

[@Dude-vq3oe]

Me too!

[@Penguin4096-si9fz]

Yes, because me, as a Guangzhouer, lives in the sea. It's very beautiful, and there are corals everywhere /jk

[@erinsgeography3619]

@@Penguin4096-si9fz of course! Guangzhou and Atlantis are my favorite underwater cities. They have a special place in my heart 💗

[@Penguin4096-si9fz]

@@erinsgeography3619 thanks

[@zyvernious]

"There's a lot of death going on" that about summarizes Chinese history

[@vaiyt]

Chao ling seizes power

[@Cpt_John_Price]

@@vaiyt .....the entire chinese population died.

[@radiantarchives]

The blue bus, the masked train, the eight immortals, He being Muslim.. this one has brought in so much lore.

[@PhilipTrouble]

HIM being muslim was pretty much hinted at already, considering HE built a mosque in the 6th century ad

[@DraxxDarlok]

He was Muslim long before Islam was founded. HE is pretty amazing.

[@robertjarman3703]

That is an excellent choice for a user icon by the way.

[@duncanharrell5009]

HE being Muslim is an interesting twist. HE must have either lost his faith or reconciled it sometime after the Russian Revolution since HE was “the youngest son of the Soviet Revolution”

[@hedgehog3180]

@@DraxxDarlok Does this imply that HE is the archangel Gabriel since Gabriel was the one who delivered God's revelations to the prophet Muhammed?

[@RollinCar]

"HE built the Ocean Empire AFTER continental Europe" implies that either the empire was modeled after Europe or (more likely) that HE built Europe.

[@kaibalonek2916]

HE is the Earth's worldbuilder?? No way!!

[@Thxt_One_Fpe_Fan]

Is HE one of the 8 immortals?

[@SashatheKing7]

My belief: 1. He (1:52) - (2:03) 2. Me/I (literally everywhere) 3. (Heinrich?) Himmler (6:05) 4. Xi Jinping (1:29) 5. Shinzo Abe (WW2 Video) 6. Joe (Biden?) (0:58) 7. Pope Francis (11:27) 8. Hui Nanji (4:05) (BONUS) 9. Wang Man (6:57), 10. She (12:36), 11. Taylor (Swift?) (16:55)

[@yourfriendlyneighborhoodbi6207]

What about HIS siblings, or are they not immortals?

[@wheniexist]

สกิบิดี้ เธอก็รู้ว่าฉันรู้สึกเวียนหัว ดยุคเดนนิสปั่นป่วน, ไก่เซนาทฟานัมภาษี โอ้ คุณ อยู่ในริซเลอร์ของฉัน โอ้โอ้โอ้โอ้

[@SubjectYeti]

he is one of the elder immortals, who rule over the immortals

[@Wilson-AM]

Yes

[@aataloan]

He is HIM

[@TalesofDrCreepYPasta]

Well duh.

[@CodyIsAGremlin]

Him is He

[@Joshi_Mayd]

no

[@aataloan]

@@Joshi_Mayd Boo this man

[@Joshi_Mayd]

@@aataloan Boooo!

[@Ugotsomemilk]

1:40 Finno-Korean Hyperwar reference by translation software Pog

[@OnxGrid]

The part of history of mankind that often forgotten by most historian 😔

[@The-Plaguefellow]

The thing at 2:55 is surprisingly coherent, as some of the earliest metal coinage in China were actually shaped like various types of knives/small swords, now fittingly-termed "Knife money". One other notable coin shape that some early Chinese states produced were in the shape of spade/shovelheads, "Spade money". Kinda surprised that that first one managed to get by translation-butchering mostly intact.

[@anush_agrawal]

Today I found out why chinese use knife money. Always thought it was a translation error.

[@vtet]

15:22 i massively appreciate how canton is gone from this map for the entire rest of the video. true commitment to the bit

[@ducksongfans]

I was confused

[@dr_frog01]

Canton was so bullied on this video that it escaped from this reality

[@ilariolee2911]

In The Real World British Gets Hong Kong Until 156 Years Later 15:23

[@CekalaStudios]

I can’t wait for the Wikipedia page to be made about this series and so Starv can do a badly translated on it

[@aataloan]

The masked train and the 8 immortals vs He and She

[@some-jk4nx]

sounds like the title of a movie series that is going on for too long

[@aataloan]

@@some-jk4nx milking the series and reviving He 5 times before introducing a side plot where She and the masked train fall in love

[@MCOmegaX123]

I'm pretty sure He, She, and I (maybe You as well) are part of the Eight Immortals. Them, Hui Nanji, and... His brothers?

[@three_mr_three]

I think that the masked train is able to transport the immortals through time

[@mohamadlin]

2:54 I think by “sword money” they meant a type of coin used in ancient China, which has, you guessed it, the shape of a sword.

[@feiradragon7915]

Or what if it was called sword money because it was the amount of money needed to buy a sword? Like bread money in current times refers to the amount of money needed for food.

[@ABCD-nq3uf]

@@feiradragon7915 no, it was literally sword-shaped coins.

[@equilibrum999]

貝刀

[@feiradragon7915]

@@ABCD-nq3uf What if it was coin shaped swords? ...Oh right, that would be throwing stars.

[@ivanbadaev6621]

​@@feiradragon7915 Idk man bread is mostly the same, but swords can be quite cheap as well as very expensive. Wouldn't it be confusing?

[@youtubeconnoisseur3215]

Can’t wait to see what it does with the taiping heavenly kingdom

[@maciejbala477]

turns it anti-Bangladesh, classic

[@noeenricodomanais2517]

16:57 Without Brother Hao, there will be no Taylor series of reforms✊

[@MagisterialVoyager]

without him, there would be no 'taylor's version', s/o to brother hao lol

[@NTSuperbyte]

Her: "I swear he's only a friend" *The wang man:*

[@ShantanuShinde1]

I like the idea of Figs being sentient and having their own civilization in secrecy, having their own wars and even landing on moon

[@milanbeerepoot4260]

They also had a war according to american history

[@modlich_303]

new lore drop: ther eis the "8 immortals" He She I You and He's brother(s) and possibly more

[@alexturnbackthearmy1907]

You forgot some chinese guy, which was 8th one.

[@Niinkai]

You forgot Hui Nanji!

[@modlich_303]

@@alexturnbackthearmy1907 oh yeah, and him

[@Yeet-mp6ci]

The masked train and the blue bus

[@dominiklehn2866]

what about the guy who got ressurected in the rome video i think it was

[@ManfredDudesonVonGuy]

11:22 "Elvis has claimed the Mandate of Heaven" got be so bad and idk why

[@anowarjibbali]

As a Bangladeshi, I don't know what we did to Hans Xiaoguan.

[@hedgehog3180]

Don't act coy.

[@SouthboundFS]

16:29 The NRA refers to the National Revolutionary Army of the Republic of China.

[@newwaveinfantry8362]

18:15 - As a Bulgarian, I can confirm that we should be held accountable for crimes such as corruption and tax evasion.

[@caim3465]

Remember, "HIS name is Bulgarian"

[@acelim6259]

As a chinese, I would like to say this is the funniest shit I've seen in a while

[@Penguin4096-si9fz]

agree

[@datmelonblob]

agreed

[@MagisterialVoyager]

i understand how mandarin and cantonese work and can speak a little, so i can imagine that the translation goes CRAZY, which explains why this lore is so unhinged. "masked train". pls, lmao.

[@saurkrauet]

Everyone is always giving attention to the HE lore but no one talks about the writer lore (aka, the thing referring to itself as I )

[@ukraineballaviation1483]

the writer's name is Justin

[@iwuedfh]

i mean recently, people have been giving some love to ME as well as HE

[@iwuedfh]

@@ukraineballaviation1483 Justin, Matt to be specific

[@LlamasAtMidnight]

I have! I is my favorite character

[@the_strategist_historian]

"I killed a man..." "hello" WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN

[@Slayer-gj7ti]

I participate in the scholar bowl in my state (like a trivia game for students in different schools) and your WWII video literally helped me get a question right because I randomly guessed Chiang Kai-Shek

[@Bunny_Bill]

1:20 HE has siblings!!! Add it to the scroll!!

[@OHakkinen_]

I love when StarvingHarvest posts

[@5POKY]

1:06 As a jew, this is DEEPLY concerning

[@The_Creamster]

How will we operate our space lasers now😢

[@RandooGaming]

then the translator mentioned himmler too, something is up

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

I agree, for AncestryDNA tells me that I am 38% European Jewish!

[@MagisterialVoyager]

any cultural explanation on "attached to son"? i'm sobbing, what happened there? lol.

[@depressedbudgie]

Guys wake up starvharv remembered his accounts password

[@fyrep0w3r]

I was reading a book recently and there was a character they kept referring to "He". The book was from Warhammer 40K. "He" is The Emperor of Mankind. It all makes sense now. An immortal being (or at least someone who won't stay dead) of unfathomable power with mysterious goals fucking with politics through history.

[@SanDaniel9668]

What's the book name

[@thenutella8846]

Pretty much.

[@hedgehog3180]

If He is the God Emperor from 40K that honestly explains a lot about that universe.

[@shqip_sumejja]

He is definitely one of the 8 immortals

[@liliya_aseeva]

Omg I spilled my tea when Tsai Yingwen was appointed the head of the Orthodox Church :D

[@RatsAreNice222]

Russian Orthodox Church, not the whole Orthodox Church.

[@hedgehog3180]

@@RatsAreNice222 Real shitty of her to not support the Ukrainian Orthodox Church.

[@ringuyenthi-z7x]

0:27 Ah yes, the first Vietnamese kingdom: Van LangE Didn't know HE had an entire state on his contact list but not surprised.

[@channelofthepeople-98]

I just see it funnier when StarvHarv made it into a random Dutch guy

[@thenutella8846]

When HE calls, everyone in Vietnam picks up the phone.

[@TheHiddenMarty]

6:00 Bro ain't no way! I was browsing GOG as you mentioned it!

[@mizukittyakinyama]

not anymore, it's out

[@NTSuperbyte]

As the translation quality decreases, the video quality increases

[@heihogreenzx4704]

7:22 I had no idea that GB was a historical figure! Guess his debut wasn’t in Mario’s Madness after all.

[@Charles_Smithe_UwU]

Starvharv is like friday. He comes once a week and he never dissapoints us.

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

I found this quite a funny (and nonsensical) version of Chinese history! He, She, and Justin (I) are back (and He has siblings, too), there are eight immortals (which, again, I assume include Him, Her, and Justin), some historical figures (like the Pope, Himmler, and Joe) are not where they are supposed to be, and for some reason, the People's Republic of China is an enemy of the Russian Orthodox Church (probably because both the Church and the Republic of China are "ROC"). Also, I just realized that "I" is depicted with a picture of Robert Downey, Jr... probably because he said "I am Iron Man"! Thanks for the video!

[@PoTruBu]

4:09 Hui Nanji, He, She and Me. We know four of them, but who are the four another?

[@spynetgaming2210]

There are four me's

[@SashatheKing7]

My belief: 1. He (1:52) - (2:03) 2. Me/I (literally everywhere) 3. (Heinrich?) Himmler (6:05) 4. Xi Jinping (1:29) 5. Shinzo Abe (WW2 Video) 6. Joe (Biden?) (0:58) 7. Pope Francis (11:27) 8. Hui Nanji (4:05) (BONUS) 9. Wang Man (6:57), 10. She (12:36), 11. Taylor (Swift?) (16:55)

[@Mustafa-6331]

You forgot about You so we know 5 of them.

[@MultinationalCrabLegion]

Maby the masked train as well?

[@randomaccount349]

@@spynetgaming2210 Four ME’s that we know of

[@DWithDiagonalStroke]

0:58 Muhammad wasn't even born and yet people were already converting to Islam

[@mybodyisamachine]

Shia islam no less

[@Jekyllstein_Gray]

"China is Japan." I'm sure that neither of them will have an issue with that sentiment.

[@Shoebil]

0:23 Of all people, [Glenn] Danzig becomes the king 😭😭😭

[@definitelynotanimposter1670]

That is the best profile picture I have ever seen

[@Shoebil]

@@definitelynotanimposter1670 this is the 3rd comment i got regarding my profile pic and it always makes me smile!

[@michaszymanowski5582]

If we assume that He, his brothers, She and I are all immortals alongside Hui Nanji (since they are basically incapable of staying dead), then there are two other immortals we are yet to discover.

[@Ritz1256]

What about Xi Jinping? He's been there since at least the 1800s BC and nobody seems to give him the title

[@MagisterialVoyager]

Rommel also returned to life in WWII. IDK whether he died after that timeline, though, LOL.

[@MagisterialVoyager]

@@Ritz1256 i see a pattern of modern figure being planted in these translations, because Shinzo Abe appeared at least twice in WWII, lmao.

[@thepooterengineer6633]

13:10 hold up. >australian navy encircled >navy encircled OMGGGG SPUDGUN REFERENCE!?!?!

[@hedgehog3180]

Can you make dreadnoughts out of bananas though?

[@aamacan]

Wow these translation really are accurate to real world Chinese history. "Zhao is crowned Emperor then 12 billion people instantly perish along with some other unexplainable shenanigans."

[@alexrator7674]

1:35 so the real winner of the finno-korean hyper war is shanghai

[@Graatand]

1:37 17:24 Something, something Finno-Korean Hyper War

[@RogueBulb]

I love how the Song Dynasty become the music industry

[@Hijiri_MIRACHION]

HE literally became too angry to die.

[@D2RCR]

17:03 Socialism with Chinese Characteristics: Taylor's Version

[@mranima748]

Communist Manifesto: Taylor’s Version

[@hedgehog3180]

Facebook posts your boomer uncle would share.

[@AstroEli133]

9:44 He became two intestines, not an intestine.

[@punkspockispunkrock]

smartass 🤬🤬🤬

[@personwhoexist8884]

I like how Canton is permanently gone after the British destroyed it.

[@Kingdom_Of_Dreams]

13:16 There was an emperor that committed suicide by hanging when the kingdom was slowly falling into chaos. It was the fall of the Ming Dynasty, before the dreaded Qing Dynasty (rule of the Manchu clan who were very cruel to the Han people and their cultural values).

[@equilibrum999]

if they were cruel then why did the 清 dynasty outlive the 秦 dynasty?

[@Kingdom_Of_Dreams]

@@equilibrum999 Qing dynasty managed to succeed for a long time because of the strength of its government and its slow but steady process in unifying the people within its growing borders. But they imposed very harsh laws, one of which was the adoption of the queue hairstyle. It went against Confucius' cultural laws of filial piety, but anyone who refused the queue was executed for treason. This upended cultural values that had shaped China for over a thousand years, and by the time the Qing Dynasty fell, the people had been so disconnected from their ancestors' values that the old styles never returned. Communism was right around the corner, so it never could have found its way home anyway.

[@z.z3842]

@@Kingdom_Of_Dreams thank to all the traitors

[@kwamesmith3214]

The queue by itself wasn't the problem... I believe it was shaving off most hair that was against Confucian regulations. Earlier Jurchens/Manchus apparently had much less hair on the body with a thinner queue. By the late 19th century, it seemed that male subjects were allowed to leave more and more hair on the scalp. Made the Hong Kong films set during the Qing look funny because the actors didn't want to shave, so it was just a queue​@@Kingdom_Of_Dreams😂😂

[@CreepersNeedHugs]

He: before 2366 BC-1076 BC between 1076 BC-1043 BC-54 between 54-111-275 b. between 275-431 b. 1389 11 December 1617-29 December 1890 after 29 December 1890-1893 after 1893-3 September 1914 after 3 September 1914-18 January 1915 b. between 18 January 1915-3 July 1915 8 March 1990-at least 10^106 + 2024 She: b. 1485 Me: before 1906 BC-1323 b. between 1323-1690

[@heihogreenzx4704]

Ah, He’s siblings, We, They, and Ye. Well, I can’t wait for Acient Egyptian, Mesopotamian, Spanish, or Indian history, or whatever’s in store next!

[@anonymoususer188]

Hilarious as always. The cinematic universe of badly translated history continues to grow.

[@Kingdom_Of_Dreams]

lol Elvis claiming the Mandate of Heaven is the funniest thing to imagine 😂

[@Yoylekoso]

I have a theory. HE is probably one of the 8th inmortals, & SHE probably is too. I/Me/Justin, Matt might be an inmortal too, since he keeps appearing on every video of the series.

[@eduardobarros3986]

2:56 Curiously enough, there was an ancient chinese currency composed of coins shaped like swords.

[@len9505]

8:15 Tang-Sui dynasties were defeated at the Talas River

[@gengarzilla1685]

I'm just gonna say it. The Taiping Rebellion _already_ felt like a bad Google Translate job as is. That guy decided he was the brother of Jesus Christ. Need I say more?

[@equilibrum999]

yes, still not as cazy as the story of one Palau claiming himself being son of Amaterasu, then traveling to Europe and claiming Mandate of Heaven and estabilishing a cindron to conquer the Central America.

[@Kingdom_Of_Dreams]

Many months ago, I remember asking for a badly translated Chinese history video because I knew the flooding of the Yellow River would come up a few times 😂 Not even a bad translation can keep the Yellow River from flooding!

[@Madmanof]

1461: Ancient celebration: The monkey led by the general of the Nine Kings climbed the mountain and was trampled on the territory of the Mingbei river. You know, this actually makes sense.

[@SashatheKing7]

The 8 Immortals. (4:03) 1. He (1:52) - (2:03) (Beginning of the Universe - Now) 2. Me/I (literally everywhere) (Beginning of the Universe - Now) 3. Wang Man (6:58) (300s- Now) 4. Xi Jinping (1:29) (At least 1890 bc - Now) 5. She (12:36) Beginning of the Universe - Now) 6. Joe (Biden?) (0:58) (At least 1985 BC - Now) 7. Pope Francis (11:27) (At least 1289 - Now) 8. Hui Nanji (4:05) (At Least 139 bc - Now(?) (BONUS) 9. Taylor (Swift?) (16:55)

[@shikharanimandal2024]

12. His siblings (?)

[@SashatheKing7]

@@shikharanimandal2024Maybe, but there is only one mention of them so It is hard to tell.

[@specil-k]

1:35 the final ripples of the Finno-Korean Hyperwar.... simpler times

[@clewrites]

The period around 6:40 makes just as much sense as the actual Sixteen Kingdoms era that actually started in the 300s.

[@HighPriestFuneral]

232 AD... That's Three Kingdoms, what even happens in 232 to warrant this? Hmm... Zhuge Liang isn't dead for another two years. Is Zhang He killed? Oh, I just looked it up. It's the year Cao Zhi died. Cao Cao's son and one of the best poets of the era. I have no idea how that got translated as "GOG is Out". 254 - Gee, the whole Sima family is being called Himmler here! I know the Sima weren't the best people around, but that's a bit much Justin... That name drop of Zhang Fei becoming "Han" is so strange. What is even stranger is he's one of the only historical characters to be mentioned without any mistakes, though he's 200 years removed from his time, haha.

[@queru1ous]

Love to see both the editing and your narration getting better, funnier and more unhinged with each episode

[@len9505]

14:10 Probably referring to a time when the four great classics began being considered the four great classics. "Red is a human dream" is probably "Dream of the Red Chamber," also know as "The Story of the Stone."

[@object-official]

3:36 Supposed to be Qin Shi Huangdi

[@LendriMujina]

2:59 I looked up the untranslated timeline and... it turns out _that is literally what happened._ From about 600 BC to 200 BC, big knives were legal tender.

[@claudius3359]

Coin tied to a shape of a sword or literally little swords used as money?

[@LendriMujina]

@@claudius3359 Both. From what I'm able to gather, some were genuine bronze blades, while others just took the shape. They don't appear to have been standardized much, though they did all have inscriptions that set them apart from things meant ONLY to be used as blades.

[@claudius3359]

@@LendriMujina Interesting can you give me links to wherever you found the info?

[@hedgehog3180]

@@claudius3359 Wikipedia has an article on it.

[@acer48]

2:11 king of the king of the king of royalty

[@anthonyminimum]

The King of the King OF the King of Kings of the King of Finland and the King of Shanghai and the King of the King of the Buddha and the King of Jesus Christ and the King of the King of the King of the King of the King of the King of China

[@LudovicoPetroleumScallywagVII]

Does nobody in the comments actually know that “The eight immortals” are a genuine concept in chinese culture?

[@kwamesmith3214]

But Hui Nanji isn't among them... Neither are the mighty pronouns, HE, SHE, and ME... I don't even think most Chinese know all the names of all eight unless they are Daoists

[@BoatPui]

Fun fact, China used to use swords (or daggers) as currency in ancient times.

[@Jacob-Jack]

the record scratch at the shocking news of His death was just perfect, it all was so sudden

[@punbug4721]

19:48 Canton is still gone. Good attention to detail.

[@jimb9063]

Superb. Just finished reading about the Champagne Army and their terrifying BlitzKrug tactics.

[@seekerofnothingness]

A new inspiration for life being a Game Boy? Makes sense

[@CapnBlud]

1:52 Now we know that HE takes 33 years to resurrect HEmself. So, HE's got that one weakness. You can kill HEm, but only for 33 years. Then HE comes back.

[@HighPriestFuneral]

Just like a certain Dracula...

[@JustYetAnotherHuman]

HE always comes back

[@CapnBlud]

@@JustYetAnotherHuman Unless you imprison his dead body and spawnkill him on resurrection...

[@ALLMINDmercenarysupportsystem]

​@@CapnBlud He'll outlive the imprisoners and eventually ground the prison walls down to nothing, then escape.

[@CapnBlud]

@@ALLMINDmercenarysupportsystem Well, then you need an entire civilization, with a robust mythos, backing the thing up and justifying it.

[@degariuslozak2169]

Welcome to translation feud, with your host Starv Harvey

[@christopherjustice6411]

NRA (National Revolutionary Army) was the name of the Chinese army during World War 2.

[@Tekdruid]

11:40 I bet he meant morning wood.

[@chihabmostefaoui3924]

5:46 he's muslim. Pls do islamic history next, we need to to know HIS part in the islamic conquest

[@amirferdhany3177]

I feel like muslims would not appreciate it, messing with Muhammad is a big no-no

[@Curiosity403]

Do you want that to be his last video? 😂

[@Mr.s1r.23]

Starvharv would disappear from thin air

[@DisKKJ]

These series had a lot of weird moments but poorly translated chinese history takes the cake as the most batshit insane thing ever.

[@-kittn-]

Im surprised how often he dies and gets reincarnated again

[@jonathanehn3525]

HE is like Talion from Shadow of War. No matter how many times HE dies or faces shame, HE always gets back up.

[@acactus2190]

Chinese history without the translationis already one of the weirdest topics lmao, and now coupled with the power of google translate I cant even comprehend.

[@fuzzyotterpaws4395]

This is one of my favorite videos yet! I didn't learn any Chinese history in school mostly, but the jokes ad translations are so good😂

[@hansudowolfrahm4856]

Imagine in a paralell universe all of this happened and children need to study this in their exams

[@hedgehog3180]

They'd fucking hate He for making everything so confusing.