Bargaining in Grief | Grief and Loss | How to Grieve | Overcoming Loss

Bargaining in Grief | Grief and Loss | How to Grieve | Overcoming Loss | David Kessler

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Күн бұрын

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@pudik2008 4 ай бұрын

I love how David Kessler added the 6th stage of grief,Meaning. Yes I would trade my life for my 35 year old son in a heartbeat! 💔💔💔💔

@jennifershort3104 4 ай бұрын

This reminds me of all the bargaining I did in the first year...and, honestly, still do at times. I am surrendering the wrong thing to not hurt anymore. My life. I am ashamed that I can't do better for myself in asking for help when I need it.

@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty 4 ай бұрын

Awareness is key. Now you can ask for what you need. Put yourself first, you deserve it! ❤️😍😊

@kalliopialexiadou8999 4 ай бұрын

Thank you very much, dear Catherine. I've been grieving for our Zappa for two years and now I am grieving for Rudy too, just as I was starting to smile again. Your help has been valuable❤🙏

@kareninman2865 4 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for these insights. I'm a mother to 3 adult children and lots of grandkids. My daughter lost her husband very tragically and very suddenly in a routine fishing trip. He was only 42 and my daughter and their 3 girls,are experiencing so much grief and trauma.

@npenick66 4 ай бұрын

I got lucky on the what if. My wife had what we thought was a mild winter cold and wanted to nap in her recliner for a bit. Turned out to be influenza 2009A. She didn't wake up. I spent a week with the what if's. As I was backing up all of our electronics so that I could consolidate all our photo's I saw on my son's ipad that he had been recording while I got his dinner and tucked my wife in for her nap. He's autistic and obsessed with recording everything. The vid showed me getting ice water, some cold meds, a humidifier and tucked her in with her new Christmas blanket. She had the cat in her lap and the dog at her feet as she snuggled in. She smiled at us and thanked me. There were no warning signs, neither of us could have known that she would be gone in 15-30 minutes. There is a peace with being able to let go of that particular snarl of emotions, the rest of the emotions are bad enough. I am there with you on the bargaining. I'd bargain in a heartbeat to trade places with her. She was the better parent and better person. Raising a special needs child with just a Dad and not having all the hugs, kisses and cuddles from a Mom is strange. But it is what it is. I'm trying to figure out what lessons I'm supposed to learn by this. It's been 5 months of two steps forward 5 steps back but we're slowly making some progress. Still doesn't make sense but hopefully some day I'll gain some understanding.

@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty 4 ай бұрын

So proud of you for continuing on. For now, your lesson is just to figure out your new reality for you and your son. Surviving is enough for now. You will definitely learn that you are stronger than you want to be, that you are a fighter and a man who makes his wife proud.

@rmurphy3435 3 ай бұрын

❤️

@daviddevalera6382 3 ай бұрын

My wife passed April this year. I'm alone now with our special needs son. No family support, no friends. Very isolated. Going days without speaking to another person in any meaningful way. I'm looking for the lessons, too. Left work to become a full-time caretaker. All the activity from when she was in Hospice care here at home ceased she died. No more nurses, doctors, aides, family. Just silence. My son (who is non-verbal) are trying to go on.

@npenick66 3 ай бұрын

@@daviddevalera6382 That sounds so similar to my situation. The only difference seems to be a sudden unexpected passsing vs a long term illness. As bad as the shock of finding my wife already gone and trying to do cpr when she was clearly past saving I think enduring a long term illness would be far worse. It was 6 months since my wife passed on 7/5 and I'm still pretty fubar. The most painful thing that I've experienced was trying to explain to my semi verbal son that Mama wasn't coming home again. This channel and a few others Sevilla I Love, The Weeping Widow Sue Ana, len and cindy presley and a few others had good info and a very kind community. I don't know if you've done any spousal loss support groups but I did a 12 week online one with Vitas Healthcare that helped me, it was free and I'll probably go back and do another series with them once life settles out a bit for me. There are some sites that had good info for me, Just A Dad, Widowers Support Network and Soaring Spirits International that also helped. My closest relatives are 1100 miles away so we're selling our house and moving to be close to them so I have some backup in case I get sick or injured. I hope you can find some equilibrium, I'm still working on mine, some days its there and some days not. Feel free to email me at this gmail account, can't promise that I have any answers but maybe I can point a direction or two.