Baywatching Nights: Nights to Dragon One

Mitch and Ryan become trapped in an evil virtual reality D&D game. Just like Myst!
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Website: www.phelous.com
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#Baywatch #BaywatchNights #DavidHasselhoff #AngieHarmon #VincentSchiavelli #DanaDaurey #PaigeRowland #JennyInge #JamesLew #GeraldOkamura #NightsToDragonOne #AllisonPregler

[@othertalk3313]

How do you do, fellow big time game players? 🎲🎮

[@TMMQuicksilver]

In today's episode, Baywatch Nights writers desperately try to figure out what the hell a "Video Game" is.

[@johnpotts8308]

Well, "video" means "I watch" and "Game" is like sports, so clearly it means "Watching sports". That's just logic.

[@NobodyDrinksFromMyGal]

I mean, I've played Tetris and Final Fantasy. They're all kinda similar. :V

[@beepboop204]

i guess with writing like this, the fear of AI is real lol

[@thor30013]

Let's be honest - they were about as accurate as any other show/movie in the genre for the time.

[@beepboop204]

@@thor30013 i really wanted to be a contrarian and be like "oh yeah what about X" but i cant think of anything that fits lol

[@Aeonova]

"Ryan, it should be noted, is wearing a very cute sweater". "Allison, it should be noted, is pointing out very cute facts".

[@beepboop204]

at least there was the sweater

[@kamenanew9867]

I adore this comment, thank you

[@lordmontymord8701]

Well what else is there to say? Diving deeper into everything Ryan says would make your head explode ...

[@jesssoucy4976]

I can't believe X-Files First Person Shooter ripped off this episode

[@beepboop204]

and the series Harsh Realm!

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

"So, we win... not by dying, but by staying alive?" - Mitch, the smartest man on the beach, ladies and gentlemen. He is literally too stupid to live.

[@EpicBeard815]

Hasselhoff has fully downshifted to the "but why male models?" gear of not paying attention

[@Tareltonlives]

To be fair, people not paying attention and losing the plot is pretty typical in my game group.

[@limalepakko6074]

@@Tareltonlives that sounds annoying

[@realDonaldTrump420]

But.. Why male models?

[@lordmontymord8701]

"Nights will never be the same - because i don't give a single fuck anymore!"

[@allegedlyfalse6779]

I love how the basic concept of "don't die" is apparently complicated enough to warrant mentioning over and over.

[@ranschvartz]

Oh God this episode makes both the X-Files and Murder She Wrote gaming episodes look well thought out and consistent in comparison.

[@beepboop204]

didnt The Lone Gunmen do a gaming episode too? and do you remember Harsh Realm? good times

[@Scribblerjohnny]

NCIS has such sights to show you

[@michaeldebellis4202]

@@beepboop204 I think the Lone Gunmen were in the X-Files game episode. Allison has a Manic Episodes about it. But it wasn’t an episode in their all too brief series. I loved those guys.

[@beepboop204]

@@michaeldebellis4202 i was black out drunk at Rumors Comedy Club when Dean Haglund was performing and he ended up calling me up on stage to participate in some improv. it was surreal. he asked me to do a Mulder impression while he did his Langly character. nice guy.

[@Obsidian__]

"In this one CD-ROM game there was always electricity" - hearing that makes me feel like I can't understand English

[@Wingless-]

Years. It has been -years-. There is no reason for the footage of Mitch fumbling with devil sticks while disguised as a mime to make me laugh as hard as it does, yet here I am.

[@ctdaniels7049]

Suddenly It's mime time

[@FlyingLavaDragon]

The delivery of "Just like Myst!" makes me laugh every time

[@Lazysupermutant]

So for those curious (or just sifting through the comments) the earliest example we have of an RPG is a late 13th century game called Ragman Roll or Ragemon le Bon. Played by the French nobility then English gentry it was basically a game where you'd put a bunch of character descriptions and choose one at random. You'd then act out those character and whatever goals they had. They tended be poems either popular ones of the time or written whole cloth by the host, and they were pretty raunchy...for the 13th century anyway. As Mitch would say, I am Nerd.

[@densetsugojirin5518]

Sounded like Angie Harmon was about to laugh when she said the "we're in the...imagination of the computer" line.

[@Keyboardeater1]

Angie Harmon seems genuinely confused by the dialogue she has to deliver in this episode. Like, she's trying.

[@hugobomb]

"Ok, Ryan you need to make a death savin..." Mitch grabs the GM by the throat "My Saving Roll!!" *rolls a nat 1* "Ryan you idiot you've doomed us all!!"

[@LaNoLaCola]

Somehow that nat 1 is Hobie's fault!

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Man, I hate when I'm playing Fortune Street and get the worst roll because I decided to strangle some one...

[@Tareltonlives]

@@LaNoLaCola "I'll roll up Hobie 3 for my new animal companion!"

[@Iamafishproductions]

8:51 And of COURSE Mitch tries to seduce any random female NPC they come across.

[@AussieDragoon]

I can't believe Nights originated the trapped in an RPG sub-genre. I've always said Baywatch is my favorite anime.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Crap, Ryan and Mitch got Isekai'd into Gex!

[@1Lanavis1]

Truly ahead of its time

[@Tareltonlives]

Mitch Art Online!

[@PrinzPassionsfrucht]

@@Tareltonlives Or, in Stephanie's case: "That time I reincarnated as a dog!"

[@Tareltonlives]

@@PrinzPassionsfrucht I would totally watch that show

[@multitudeofidols]

_Baywatch Nights_ manages to make every episode give the impression that the director only did it for the paycheque, the writer only did it out of contractual mandate, and the editor actively hates the show.

[@tyefiles3750]

💀

[@cpkgrownup9496]

“You’re not the first woman who’s tried to stab me mid makeout!” Why am I 100% sure that’s true😅

[@canedust]

"Success was measured by how long they survived" Ah, so Ryan was into Call of Cthulhu

[@crithon]

"in the computer?" I love this whole era of "computers are magic."

[@limalepakko6074]

90’s tech was just so advanced it was impossible to differentiate from magic

[@rasmusdegn9690]

As something of a "Big Time Game Player TM" i can confirm that that fact alone makes one powerful and influential.

[@Tareltonlives]

Somehow this made the DS9 board game episode look sane and grounded and coherent. I would pay good money to see Hasslehoff dance and chant "Allamaraine! Count to Four!"

[@Iamafishproductions]

What we didn't know is that in this episode, they're playing a bootleg knockoff version of Chula that the FBI reverse-engineered from a crashed spaceship after losing the instruction booklet.

[@limalepakko6074]

@@Iamafishproductions didn’t know FBI had such advanced tech

[@Iamafishproductions]

@@limalepakko6074 I mean...it's only a game.

[@lordmontymord8701]

@@limalepakko6074 Thats the only tech they could save from the ship ... the military didn't want that shit, so it was shipped to the FBI.

[@dupersuper1938]

"So how do we win? Not by dying...but by staying alive?" ...I have no words.

[@SirWilliamKidney]

This episode needed Donna. I would give anything to see her roll that huge die and say something like "If it meets it, it beats it! La la lalalala!" But I'm fine with no Griff. For all I know he was there the whole time and we all just looked right through him. Maybe that's a Class Trait: "I'm Griff! +10 to stealth rolls"

[@Tareltonlives]

Class: Griff Race: Griff Background: Griff Every ability score: Griff Feats: Griff

[@lordmontymord8701]

Griff is like an NPC that could be completely cut from a game because he serves no purpose. He doesn't help the player in any way, he doesn't make the world more believable, he just exists.

[@cameronstone4495]

I never thought I'd find something that represents RPGs worst than Mazes and Monsters! "Baywatch Nights is a far-out show. Mimes, Chicken suits, Frog Hybrid Girlfriends, lightning bolt Aliens, reanimated Vikings, the time of the demons-!" "Hey, it's all imagination." "Is it?"

[@Tareltonlives]

I half-expected a Gorville in this show "There's blood on my Adidas! AH!"

[@Tareltonlives]

Teague: "What do you know about far-out games, Mitch?"

[@juliagoodwin9510]

Whose imagination is it?

[@jakehare7769]

If only Wendy Crewson had guest starred in this episode as someone's concerned girlfriend she could've had the trifecta: Mazes and Monsters, Skullduggery, and Nights to Dragon One.

[@Tareltonlives]

@@jakehare7769 Oh my god you're right! She would have been perfect for this!

[@OldSchoolCurt]

The most important thing about this episode is that Ryan does indeed have a cute sweater!

[@Joe90h]

"Not this game specifically. It's not Sonic The Hedgehog or Phantasmagoria but they're all kind of similar."

[@KonElKent]

The worst part of VR: the burgers aren't real.

[@lordmontymord8701]

Well only if you know they aren't. Just take the blue pill and everything will be fine ...

[@mathieuleader8601]

we have a golden missed golden opportunity for the game in this episode not to be a racing game with Mitch hopping in a 1982 Pontiac Trans Am as a reference to Knight Rider.

[@EpicBeard815]

It's not mentioned, but the entirety of this episode takes place on a boat. That's why EVERY FREAKING SHOT IS SWAYING LIKE ITS IN THE MIDDLE OF A CYCLONE

[@marcushead9985]

I literally can't think of any joke to make. This might be the dumbest Baywatch has ever been. My head hurts.

[@BronzeBoy520]

In anticipation of this video, I actually watched the episode. Mitch giving not a single fuck while Ryan says the craziest shit ever is a delight in Baywatch and even more in Baywatching.

[@beepboop204]

so you are saying that i should watch the episode

[@lordmontymord8701]

I love checked out Mitch - he's even better than Burger lovin' and dogs hatin'-Mitch.

[@karahughes7074]

I was halfway through a cup of coffee when you hit 'Mitchlock Holmes' and I swear I choked so hard I thought I was going to bring up a lung...

[@Alucard-A-La-Carte]

I always love episodes of bad TV like this cause it's the closest I'll get to being a doctor who watches medical dramas to laugh at how inaccurate they are.

[@UJEvans]

I'm amazed that Mitch's life is more convoluted and confusing than even 60 year old comic book characters like Spider-Man

[@lordmontymord8701]

And like comics where the same character appears in different books but events from one are not aknowledged in the other (especially in the old days, where continuity was for Nerds), Baywatch Mitch and Nights Mitch are like two seperate entities ... I guess that makes sense since Nights established there are parallel universes - OG Baywatch is in the universe where life on Earth was ultimately wiped out by the sun.

[@lotus-prince]

Just thought it'd be kind of important to point out, here: a CD-ROM has 700 megabytes of storage space. I doubt that you're somehow able to change discs while you're in virtual reality land, so that would imply that this entire real-life "if you die in the game you die for real" experience is less than a gig. Very impressive!

[@SirWilliamKidney]

For some reason I feel like a big part of my enjoyment of this is to see just how long the credits can run. 22:00 is our current best score but I betcha we can beat it! This is just like Myst!

[@viraltang]

Ah yes I remember all the times I roll my D20 and all my friends just disappear to reappear two weeks later. We want to quit, but the the thrill of the game keeps bringing us back.

[@lotus-prince]

6:09 Ryan's on point here. I remember playing a video game where there was always electricity.

[@CherryFairy02]

I mean, at least the extremely cut-and-paste VR fantasy plot made this episode easier to follow than previous Nights eps. Also, boy oh boy can I not wait for Caroline to have another episode where she has to confront death and the supernatural! She truly is the new Summer.

[@limalepakko6074]

Gotta have damsels in distress I guess

[@AndrewLuke]

'Whatever. Nights will never tell you.' We have a catchphrase. I'll put down my gold coin on it, and roll my giant many-sided die. Loved this review. Lots of loud laughs. The episode is probably the peak of the so-bad-good. Please @me anyone who's found a way to wipe it from memory.

[@karahughes7074]

That's the problem with many, many Baywatch Nights episodes, you need to not watch, or watch with a hefty dose of brain bleach to hand (aka known as whisky)

[@Humongous420]

What're the chances I JUST watched a video about the game MYST and here is an episode of Night's jumping balls deep into it

[@ShirDeutch]

Same here. The Austin McConell video?

[@limalepakko6074]

Maybe Allison watched that too, or it was recommended to her by yt or something

[@ShirDeutch]

@@limalepakko6074 pretty sure Alison mentioned Myst because Baywatch Nights namedropped it, albeit nonsensically. Coincidence??? Well, yeah.

[@Valdagast]

Not only is Mitch an expert archer, he is also a samurai!

[@jeffweskamp3685]

He is a 10th level Samurai/6th level Viking/9th level Archer.

[@AndrewLuke]

All the pieces don't matter.

[@vgtrp]

I know next to nothing about playing D & D, but it's still more than writers of this show do. Though, I guess I have to them credit for not making Mitch an automatic gaming expert.

[@Readingeye]

Given Hobie's track record at the arcade liqour store I'm surprised Mitch wasn't more against this idea.

[@lennyfiasco9834]

My wife asked me if Mitch’s last name was really Von Malibu and I was like “No, it’s… um… shit, is that his last name?”

[@BloodrealmX]

It's Buchannon. Von Malibu means "of Malibu" and I'd assume he's been referred to like that in German before.

[@doctorhirst9302]

I need to show this episode to my gamer (or should I say "big-time game player") wife, just to annoy her.

[@doctorhirst9302]

Here's what my big-time game player wife had to say: "It's sad when a show tries to reach out to a new demographic, but doesn't do any research. Do they really think this is going to appeal to gamers?" (I don't think it was supposed to, but whatever.) "I've seen better special effects in a LARP." (This was in response to the fireball.) "To be fair, it's not as bad as NCIS." (Can't argue with that.)

[@Tareltonlives]

@@doctorhirst9302 Mitch in the finale was basically that LIGHTNING BOLT guy

[@dragonsword7370]

Seeing the "Game Master" played by Vincent Shiavelli had me reminded of him in another simulation in TV. First I thought it was SG1 but that was actually Dwight Shultz[barclay/Mad dog Murdoch-Ateam] but I figured it out! Vincent was the hologram weapons salesman in S1 of ST TNG.

[@bgood8299]

Good recall.

[@poppygoodfellow]

I clicked the thumbnail faster than Mitch runs for a save. LOVE me some Baywatching!

[@JesseWFDusk]

...Nights!

[@poppygoodfellow]

@@JesseWFDusk yup, after all they will never be the same!

[@Andy-the-crow]

I really want a dnd campaign based on Baywatch and Baywatch nights

[@lightsabermadeofbees4924]

"Roll your My Save save"

[@beepboop204]

AI is probably at the level where it can write at this quality level, its a big time writer

[@Tareltonlives]

Me too! It'd be a little unbalanced- Newmie has +10 to constitution, charisma and dexterity, Eddie has pretty much 0s in every category. "Okay Cort, your unarmed strike against the Death Pier hits the AC of 20, does a total of 7 damage" "Do they have potions at this shop?" "No, just A&W cream soda" "Jimmy, your athletics check easily allowed you to evade the GIANT FUCKING OCTOPUS. Summer, roll strength" "1. Guess I'll die again"

[@juliagoodwin9510]

Maybe Monster of the Week or Urban Arcana could work?

[@Andy-the-crow]

@@juliagoodwin9510 ooh absolutely

[@marias9974]

even sword art online trusted its audience's intelligence more than this episode of nights

[@Cajek2]

"Where knights will never be to blame"

[@ShirDeutch]

JUST LIKE MYST!!! 😂 Sliders also had an episode like this on season 4, at one point Maggie gets fragmented and then they find her reflection on a CD and they need to defrag her. What I'm saying is, when will you do Sliderswatching?

[@davidcolby167]

It actually IS possible to kinda die in Myst - if you trust Sirrus or Achenar, they trap you in their book forever! Which is like dying!

[@SirWilliamKidney]

What's great is that this is really only slightly more embarrassing than the X-Files virtual reality episode. Or the Murder She Wrote virtual reality episode (yes that happened!) ...god bless the nineties.

[@Magicghost23]

Mitch got invited to one of his nerdy friends DND sessions and shenanigans happens

[@basquat76]

Oh my god it's the villain from samurai cop. Baywatch has really stepped up with their casting. Spared no expense i see.

[@Tareltonlives]

Well, I thought I saw Joe's wig from Samurai Cop on Mitch in season 2. God I am praying Robert Z'Dar shows up on Nights.

[@basquat76]

@@Tareltonlives That would be epic!

[@nicoleschiller516]

I always admire your patience and gusto with and for the "dumb", but you losing your nerves because it is just too much, is a new level of entertainment😂

[@crumpettrashgoblin]

This game feels like an asset flip.

[@fusionspace175]

Somewhere in another universe, in a dark dungeon, a group of adventurers and warriors sit down to rest, roll some roughly hewn dice, and play Beaches and Buoys.

[@poposterous236]

I love your dedication to this series, Allison. If it ends will you just start over from the beginning like its some sick Sisyphean cycle you can't escape?

[@beepboop204]

i think Camus was right about Sisyphus, i think Groundhog Day is a good exploration of that

[@poposterous236]

this series brings so much joy to everyone, Allison included. may it live forever

[@cloudstrife532220]

Ryan calling bullshit on what happens in the parent show is my new favorite Baywatching moment.

[@weirdotzero7065]

Saying "D&D and Myst is similar" is like saying "The Elder Scrolls: Skyrm and The Secret of Monkey Island are basically the same game".

[@nirman423]

my brain hurts just from watching the summery.... Allison I can't imagine the suffering you went through actually watching the whole episode.

[@NobodyDrinksFromMyGal]

Suffering is right. I watched this whole season on YT, thinking it might be entertaining in a so bad it's good kind of way. It's not. Every episode is a disjointed mess, completely devoid of tension. Even for free, it's not worth a watch.

[@kamenanew9867]

​@@NobodyDrinksFromMyGal I'm tempted to drink From ur gal

[@Lhunweth]

I mean... Myst with some brutal, magical puzzles and a crossbow-wielding Amazon who wouldn't look out of place on set of Xena? I would absolutely play that.

[@outinsider]

All I can say is that with Mitch's/David Hasslehoff's reassurances that he knows everything about a topic he just learned about, I can see why he would be a good buddy with T*****.

[@faithkerns1626]

"He's a big time game player" "he lives to play the biggest and most dangerous games man can invent" I thought you where being hyperbolic but it's a verbatim quote.

[@lauraazure6462]

This episode was actually my introduction too Baywatch Nights

[@dunes8817]

The warehouse interior set makes me wonder if it was ever used for music videos. It definitely has that vibe.

[@shawnconway6009]

I swear this entire plot was a movie. A board game that moves from place to place that offers a chance to change everything but if you lose you die? I swear Phelous reviewed a movie that had this exact plot years ago when he was still reviewing horror movies primarily.

[@Iamafishproductions]

Stay Alive at least seemed to have been written by someone who played video games, even if there were a lot of details they got wrong.

[@Nergalsama01]

9:46 Vincent Schiavelli?! Man, he was too good for his show.

[@brianfuller757]

Thanks. This episode was really rock bottom even for Nights.

[@GB-sh9st]

Baywatch nights. Where the credits are more mysterious than the plots.

[@PKAmedia]

"So this is a game where you fight medieval archers, but also weird little gremlins that do somersault at you, and kabuki men? Like what genre are we in?". This is obviously the modern cheap assets flip genre! What incredibly predictive and brilliant Sci-fi writers, the writers of Baywatch nights were!!!

[@TonyGearSolid]

It's only a matter of time until the opening credits lead into the closing credits.

[@jordang7479]

Her dad must be the president of Baywatch. A lifeguard can never turn down a challenge

[@chuckwoody335]

Isn't the most dangerous game when you hunt a human or you can switch it up and let someone hunt you.

[@sockpuppy8811]

It's incredible than in a show where nothing is explained, who included Explosive Frog Girlfriends, Frozen Vikings, Possessing Knife and Ryan casting a spell for no reason , it's a episode about some virtual game who finally broke my brain... Never changes Baywatch Nights

[@limalepakko6074]

If you had an opportunity to cast a spell wouldn’t you do it

[@rachaelbao]

Well this was everything I needed after a day of moving everything in my house

[@danielgehring7437]

Her videos do have a way of coming out just when you need them most.

[@AllisonPregler]

Thanks guys!

[@user-lb9xw4xf2q]

Much like Mitch, I always equip my full denim outfit for every fantasy adventure.

[@mysteriiis]

"We always died in my college games!" Sounds like Ryan played lots of Call of Cthulhu and Ravenloft.

[@Deathmaster780]

Ryan had never played a game with a swamp level before.

[@Nagoragama]

I always forget that these start with a guy screaming; jump scares me every time, lol

[@wstine79]

Everyone knows that dungeonsanddragons was so old school in 1997. Now Magic the Gathering was all hot and they could have at Mitch throw down a Wall of Bones card

[@danielgehring7437]

...and you've inadvertently given me an existential crisis since, almost by definition, a lifeguard would have to be blue (or even more accurately, WU), but Mitch is the most red entity to have ever existed.

[@PrinzPassionsfrucht]

I guess Mitch learned how to throw fireballs at people by playing a lot of Street Fighter 2.

[@Tareltonlives]

Hobie taught him well

[@Caernath]

Nobody tell Mitch we're watching him on computers (and tablets and smartphones and other internet-cabable devices), we'd never the end of it.

[@Shades14]

🎶 My name is Mitch, lifeguard of useless. Why am I even alive? 🎶

[@markmyers6756]

Ryan: ah my favorite rpg the 7th guest!

[@MforMovesets]

I laughed like an eye rolling snob at "Thats the Spirit"

[@YadenSamsara]

What a pittance of an episode!

[@Polycomical]

"You know, I'm something of a big-time game player myself"

[@Polycomical]

"There was always electricity"

[@qstionblomens6138]

There’s so much to unpack here, but I just want the giant d20 prop instead

[@MeganKoumori]

Mitch: (skipping) _Allamaraine, count to four! Allamaraine, then three more!_

[@apanapandottir205]

From time to time when watching these videos I like to remind myself that Mitch is a former Navy Seal.

[@AmiliaTheGeek]

I'm in a group where we watch bad movies and follow with obscure or bad TV and we saw this episode a few weeks ago I was so excited to watch your video on it XD

[@BATCHARRO]

Mitch thought all the rich and powerful where being lured to play a game of Secret Football? "That's right if you die on the field...you die in real life!"

[@dunes8817]

So much of the VR stuff in the episode is "Just take our word for it".

[@jonathanwashington6083]

This episode is a MYST-stake

[@DasKame]

No Mulder, no Scully? But "SCULLY WAS ON FIRE!" Remember her Virtual Reality Powermoves? At least a Lawnmower should be here!

[@stu9856]

5:23 I can't be the only one that completely forgot Manny was in the cast this season