'We've got a bomb' I Scot Squad

Murphy Williams is 76% sure he's found a potentially explosive device in his field.
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[@ahlec_]

"It has an A underneath" "It says made in Berlin, by A Hitler."

[@Tjalve70]

And he's only 76% sure it's a bomb? I would say that's a conservative estimate.

[@williamward4117]

I think the eagle and made in Berlin were big signs

[@_default_2486]

I was watching it as the comment said that

[@spartanjeremiah2176]

i usually leave Germany people alone for good reason..

[@WolfbloodJakeWilliams]

He must be able to read German

[@winsomehax]

"Alan... go away it's a bomb" - funniest part.

[@shroomiestshroom3655]

or that he will end up in a tesco burger, funny because its true XD

[@jamierosewell3461]

@@shroomiestshroom3655 I think Alan survived

[@samshingler8186]

@@shroomiestshroom3655 Made me laugh harder than I should haha

[@XexJJ051301]

Only a Scottish farmer calls his horse Alan 😂

[@allmodcons6570]

Why??? I’m from north England

[@robsmith8715]

Alaannnn😆 ffs stupid 🐎horse....😁 Told ya tis a bomb. Was right about aliens as well 😱

[@musicali8015]

Aye, his name is Jim Smith in real life

[@adammoore6091]

😂😂😂😂

[@Zackislivid]

AAALLLLLAAAANNNNN!!!!!!

[@sub2jay2]

"Dont go near the bomb, you'll be a tesco burger" 😂😂

[@allylou8514]

😂😂😂😂

[@adamatch9624]

If you gonna use “ “ then at least quote it correctly

[@bigsheep2335]

1. Why was he digging a grave shaped hole? 2. What was the alien landing? 3. What happened with the penguin hostage situation? 4.What happened to Alan? 5.Was it ISIS?

[@joel6636]

1. Its fake 2.its a joke 3. Its fake

[@ellwill5709]

@@joel6636 r/whoosh

[@gingie78]

All very good questions never to be answered!

[@scoobydoo3248]

Still waiting for the answer to number 3, hate the suspense

[@maryclynch9356]

You are so funny !

[@peter_19.11]

“Don’t stand near that bomb you’ll be a Tesco burger” if you don’t get it your not from the UK

[@velo3088]

Private Yeltsin no it’s called other names in other countries and it was only uk Tesco’s that had the horse meat

[@lookatmetwerk9788]

I get it, the shop Tesco. Lmao

[@st44rk7]

Ireland has Tesco's also.

[@mitchellbicket7155]

😂😂

[@georgeramsden5308]

Peter Quinnell Thats why I go to Sainsbury’s.

[@boshnami3082]

I hope alan is ok I also hope he isn’t a Tesco burger

[@imaanaxx]

😄😄😉

[@frzstat]

He tasted pretty good with onion and a slice of cheese ;)

[@davesy6969]

They used a stunt horse.

[@alangaming2003]

It fake

[@hollygolightly649]

@@alangaming2003 Noooo, really. I’m so glad you told us all or we would never have known 🙄

[@lucadorset3808]

Don't stand next to the bomb otherwise ull be a tesco burger - XD

[@burningchef8905]

Luca Dorset that had me dieing

[@dayerex1582]

LMAO

[@charlottefeatonby5850]

Ewgv to join CV were Augustus sufficiency

[@alexahuaman5301]

“Well you were 99% sure about the alien landing last week” 💀💀💀 im rolling

[@Jay_SUBZ3R0]

“It’s no like the Penguin hostage situation.” *Hahahahaha! I lost it at that line!*

[@maryclynch9356]

So did I !!!!

[@shadowside8433]

Its a gem of a line!

[@dylvasey]

Why isn't this televised all over the UK, it's brilliant!

[@M0UAW_IO83]

It's on iPlayer mate :)

[@dylvasey]

Thank you! Stupidly I didn't even think to check. I'm off to binge. @@M0UAW_IO83

[@mrtandemslidessbtt]

😂😂😂😂😂 the farmer accent is on point. Every single Scottish farmer EVER 😂😂😂😂

[@BigAli81]

He is a farmer 😂 and a superb stand up comic Jim smith

[@spookyslitter4294]

I wanna know about that penguin hostage situation

[@maryclynch9356]

So do I. I'm even looking it up !🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@RFC-3514]

Turned oot it was just nuns.

[@allylou8514]

😂😂😂😂

[@ryanm.191]

Only one way to find out of it actually is a bomb Hit it really hard with a shovel

[@barnabyg6808]

Ryan M. Works for me 76% of the time

[@Jack-co4bu]

Tankieguy Lol lll take ur advice lol

[@magicmonkey8543]

Ryan M. In America I'd shoot it.

[@samra4429]

Hot fuzz

[@kieranlucas8649]

Tankie Guy 60% of the time, it works every-time.

[@kezadrone]

The way he says AYE with an inhalation gets me.

[@michaelbarlow1358]

And in between 1:43 and 1:48! Hilarious

[@gingie78]

I know a few fowk like that!

[@Roguhr]

aye ats teuchters for ye

[@MandeepSingh-kl5rq]

A tescos burger. I love the Scottish humour. 😂😂😂

[@gregoryashton]

I’d listen to that farmer from now on... well, at least every time he’s at least 76% sure

[@JustDevon]

Went from being either the Russians, Koreans or Isis to fully convinced it was German in no time😂

[@kybersauce3740]

"ALAN!"

[@tobiahhrncir886]

The question is what was he going to do with that grave shaped hole?

[@Ndlanding]

It was a trench, ya diddy!

[@kaylaleonard1959]

ALAN!!!

[@impennywisethedancingclown7689]

Alinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn boom telt ye it wis a bomb

[@paulwhite5455]

I'm pennywise The dancing clown no your not

[@brianhooper2556]

"don't stand on that bomb, you'll be a tescos burger" - ha ha ha ha

[@adamgraham228]

"don't stand on that bomb or you'll be a tescos burger" 😂😂😂🍔🍔

[@gentleman1s319]

"crackin' bomb aye" lmao

[@sifender56]

Jim Smith should get his own sketch show!! 😂😂😂😂

[@Luca22901]

Crackin boamb like aye ae

[@pinemartenemily9482]

Honestly don't know whether this is a documentary or a comedy sketch.

[@veritywilcox9960]

私が死にたいです It's a comedy sketch

[@crosseyed-hu4xp]

Really

[@jamesfindlay7150]

Oh fur feck ask. It’s a fecking comedy ya tumshy

[@JohnS1704]

Definitely documentary - ye ken.

[@traceygauntlett2679]

It's real life,I used to live in the same village

[@jakejanes118]

love their kit placement, lemme reach round me cuffs to grab my pava hold on, or lemme reach aaaall the way round my back for the baton thats facing the wrong way lol

[@desbarros64]

Well that's me not buying burgers from Tesco's now 😂😂😂

[@Alucard-gt1zf]

It's not like horse meat is bad for you......

[@KJAY2THOUSAND]

Thank god I went to ireland in 2014... otherwise that tesco joke would’ve went straight over my head🤣

[@burkey8677]

So are we gonna get a look at this penguin hostage situation??

[@ohidontknow1061]

Nice to see a view of Dunglas. Climbed there years ago, good fun it you can avoid all the falling rocks!

[@Geebax2]

Not to mention the bombs......

[@paulovercash6936]

"Alan go away. Shoo! It's a bomb! ALAN!"

[@ME-hs1ie]

Best one yet

[@richardlloyd2589]

The ending is superb 🤣

[@elliot7753]

We’ve got a bommmm

[@MrGlenbw]

Horse: My name isn't Alan, it's Steve, STEVE!

[@thomasbarker696]

Don't stand on that bomb or you will be a Tesco burger

[@splintmeow4723]

The editing makes this top tier

[@xGiUsAx]

none of the actors can keep a straight face lmao

[@ashutoshvashisht8285]

It is a real bloody challenge to watch these videos without closed captions (CC) 😂😂😂

[@evangelinesstories9781]

Alaaaann! There’s a bomb! Don’t stand on that bomb or you’ll be a tescos burgar😂🍔

[@leemango87]

loving how he is still holding his cuppa

[@T0M_X]

My favourite scot

[@michaelbarlow1358]

Have you got your pliers haha

[@Elconbrioso]

I ( Englishman ) came across this amusing programme the other night - why is it not showing on "English" BBC ? I like to tune into BBC Scotland and - more so - BBC Alba from time to time. I especially like to watch good, local musicians continuing in their traditional style.

[@michaelwilliams2231]

This and the limmy show and still game should be shown on the English and NI BBC quality comedies that we can't experience

[@TheCroczech]

I can't stop laughing on that 'ahhhh' haha

[@paulcolbourne9112]

The guy who played the farmer is hilarious

[@x_pixles_x1250]

ALLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN 😂😂

[@bob_the_bomb4508]

Actually bits of this are incredibly true to life :)

[@toptechtips187]

This is the best one

[@Thepunishers1235]

1:27 when you’re pissed at alan

[@waldenjance7681]

Relatable

[@Jotki]

It's not Alan, its steve

[@RubyDoobieScoo]

Farming is a lonely life, he just enjoys the company.

[@yorkshiret2807]

76% sure 😂😂

[@blairmartin8953]

Its no like the penquen hostage situation XD

[@tarraclark661]

I love this so much - I call my kids ALLAN when I'm screaming for them now.. ALLAN GET OUT!!!

[@cushyglen4264]

Better closing line after the explosion: Farmer: ‘I warned Alan, didn’t I?’

[@brxvryg1473]

Alan go away its a bomb... alannnnnnnnnnnnn

[@kevindunn2663]

If he was only 76% sure that was a bomb but 99% sure he saw an alien landing, I believe he saw an alien landing

[@rangerslad.6094]

Was loudon hill in the background

[@Bawsack121]

uhhhhhhhhhhhaye shes some bomb like

[@subscribeswithoutanyvids]

That’s round the corner

[@scottnoideagaming]

“I tel’d ya’s it was a bomb” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@judehayden1715]

Lol their face as the bomb went on

[@ShubhamSingh-lu1gy]

"am nu jookin arrai huge beg bom up deya.."

[@jturtle5318]

Now I have to find the penguin hostage episode.

[@Crewecabking]

GOD DAMN IT ALAN MOVE

[@jordandurham8951]

I want a horse named Alan

[@richardclarke376]

"Made in Berlin" there's your giveaway

[@kicx4085]

ALLAN YOU'LL BE TESCOS BURGER

[@Howiedewitt123]

Don’t go near the bomb you’ll become a Tesco’s burger 😂

[@Ellis01234567890]

Tesco Burger fucking brilliant

[@rogancox5814]

“I told you it was a bomb” 😂

[@piratejack6577]

I can’t believe this actually happened

[@and11rew09]

Awesome comedian

[@NaeMuckle]

Aye aye aye

[@London_J]

I told ya it was a bomb... ) got to love it

[@jamesmillsy4745]

Police: is it really a bomb Farmer: ALIIINNNNNNNNNNNN GO AWAY OR ELSE U WILL BE A TESCOS BURGER 10 minutes later : told you it was a bomb Police: yup

[@colaphoenix6849]

das not the right punchline for the ending. he should have realised alan might have been close it and ran like crazy while screaming "ALLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!"

[@halejandrohd2955]

“It says made in Berlin... By A hitler” 😂😂

[@rgcrugby9454]

Translation: Farmer: We’ve got a bomb, I’m not joking, a huge big bomb, I’m 76% sure- Police: Well you were 99% sure about the alien landing last week- F: Honestly I’m 100% legit this time, it’s not like the penguin hostage situation (referring to previous haux calls), wait till you see it, it’s something else P: Show us the bomb F: Come on, it’s up here, I’m telling you, it’s a bomb P: It could be anything F: If it was one of a kind it’d be this. Sunday Post, Countryfile, One Show, get the One Show *proceeds to sing One Show theme tune* F: It’s either from the Russians, Koreans or I think, ISIS P: What did you sell them bad potatoes and now they’re seeking revenge? P: We weren’t sure whether it was a bomb or not, it’s above our pay grade to be frank, so I called the bomb squad in P: Hello it’s PC Charlie Macintosh speaking- F: THERES A BOMB HERE! P: Cylinder type of shape P: There’s an eagle shape on it with an A underneath- F: It says “Made in Berlin” on it. By A Hitler. F: ALAN, ALAN, GO AWAY, THERES A BOMB, ALAN, SHOO, ALLAAAAAN! P: Mr Williams come away immediately F: Don’t stand on that bomb or you’ll be a Tesco’s Burger (referring to Tesco horsemeat scandal) P: This is the farmer that found the suspect bomb *introduces himself* F: Oh it’s a beautiful bomb eh? I’ll take a look at it first. You got your pliers? P: I think he knows what he’s doing, he’s the expert F: Well- *bomb explodes* F: I told you it was a bomb.

[@user-rr4cx6ik5o]

Bet you're English int ye

[@palmbeach4825]

what about the aliens then?

[@rgcrugby9454]

why you stalking me ya freak I’m Scottish actually so naw

[@rgcrugby9454]

money mckenzie what you meanin?

[@user-rr4cx6ik5o]

Sound then 🤔

[@user-lr1nz1xz6w]

"have you got your pliers?"

[@tutekohe1361]

Alan appeared mystified by the whole situation.

[@sosig1341]

Weev got e bomb. There’s a hooj begg bomb

[@Lew699]

Omg how am i just finding this now 😭😂

[@ImNotJust]

Sometimes I get the urge to yell "Alan"

[@Hackanhacker]

Yelling at the horse :P

[@haraldtheyounger5504]

I remember seeing that on the news a few year back now. Terrible, the man's pony, dead as a door mouse under a tractor tyre.

[@nelsonclub7722]

"Its a cracking bomb like"

[@Ermac391]

Tesco's burger 😂

[@AviaDylan]

LOL

[@hannahhegarty3554]

Md Ma ALLAAANNNNN

[@adamatch9624]

allennnnn get away there is a bomb

[@swepsycho2646]

Turn on auto generated text lol.

[@jpw1490]

Have you got your pliers you will need your pliers

[@puirYorick]

Was expecting a bit of Alan the horse to land near them.

[@robhatton5801]

He did. It

[@iainlaw2696]

allan you'll be a tesco's burger

[@allylou8514]

ALAN!!!! 😂😂😂😂

[@maQan83]

I'm catching most of it but I'd love to have this subtitled or transcripted

[@CyberBeep_kenshi]

Reminds me of Windrose - diggy, diggy hole 🤣🤣🤣🤣