Let's talk about what men can learn about masculinity from women....

[@casbot71]

Not only were the Wolves in the study in captivity, they were all _strangers to each other_ and not just a single pack that knew each other - wolves were just bought from all over without any family structure. It's really a study of prison culture.

[@doctordawn28]

Thank you for this Truth. Wolf packs protect their elders and weakest. My ranch dogs show me that my female dogs are in charge and my male dogs follow her lead, not the other way.

[@barbiedahl]

Excellent summation.

[@KOZMOuvBORG]

Or how to set up a "Reality Show".

[@05Matz]

I find it funny that people artificially put together wolf prison gangs, found that they behaved just like human prison gangs, and thought for a few unbelievably stupid years they'd discovered something about wolves, when what they really discovered was the universality of what happens when you confine social creatures in an uncaring system with no way out, no preexisting social bonds, and constant stress about getting their needs met.

[@grmpEqweer]

Yes, I noticed they accidentally recreated prison culture in wolves.

[@kevinr6930]

When Tucker Carlson and Ben Shapiro are the role models for masculinity on the right, I'll hang out on the left.

[@iainherridge6253]

& wouldn't ben make someone a lovely wife one day!

[@graydanerasmussen4071]

Is Tucker just an entitled, effeminate, empty suit, obsessed with his looks and his ratings? I don't know, just asking questions! :D

[@sallysmithson9713]

Just read the replies to your post. Seems like the people who responded have some pretty sexist views of women.

[@hks2377]

@@sallysmithson9713 One reply to a comment is not “replieS” & internet comments can rarely be judged just by their responses, 1/2 of which are often bots, trolls or contrarians. Carlson isn’t a good role model for any decent human. Shapiro thinks if he talks fast enough, people won’t notice his contradictions.

[@hks2377]

@@sallysmithson9713 Also, Iain was likely referring to Beau’s assertion that masculinity gurus like Shapiro & Carlson are like femininity “experts” that tried to mold women into June Cleaver/ Cinderella wives.

[@blackmage471]

How to be a man: it's not complicated. Be respectful to others, be comfortable with yourself, be a decent human being. In summary, don't be a dick.

[@bthomson]

Simple but maybe not easy?

[@brendalong3852]

These are great thoughts. Respect is a key issue here but don't leave out that you need to respect yourself. You don't need to look or act like anything but yourself and have courtesy for others.

[@toxic1698]

How to be a man. Be a man, that's it that's the only way to be a man no one can dictate to you what a man is, no one can tell you what you are, you are a man that is it there's no more to it.

[@Shrykespeare]

EXACTLY.

[@SonyaWongJamisonKeener]

Well said👏

[@sharonsmith9040]

I am so glad you spoke about this. My Dad was born in 1929. He was second oldest and the oldest boy in 9 children. His father died when he was 18. He didn't marry until he was 27, because his mother needed his help. He and my mother were married in 1956. By 1967, they had 6 children; all girls. He held a full time job at McDonnell-Douglas, and he and my Mom managed a mobile home park where he was the maintenance man. My Dad helped my Mom do housework including cooking, laundry, washing dishes, sweeping, mopping, whatever. He also bathed kids, fed them, changed diapers. If he needed help to go fix someone's busted water pipe, my Mom helped him. If he didn't have time to mow the grass, she did it. Our home was usually always spotlessly clean, and we were always well fed, well behaved and just generally obviously well taken care of. And they were, well, obviously in love. They always had time to kiss each other goodbye or hello, and still sat next to each other on the couch and held hands until the day he died. He was the "manliest" man I have ever known.

[@mothecodfish4926]

This is just beautiful 🥺✨

[@vickim8836]

Sounds like my dad. Coincidentally he was born in that era, 1920. They didn't have time to be worried about perceptions the were to busy surviving the depression.

[@dianemoonstone4715]

👍👏👏👏💛💙💚❤️💕

[@martinanguiano8547]

that was my life too. I am extremely capable but still love a man that can take care of us. Not out of need but desire to be that leader. I do NOT need a boss or a man, I want one

[@Angie-iq1xq]

I love this and got emotional reading it. Beautiful 🥰

[@LB-ge8ih]

Thanks, Beau. As a woman, the men I’ve always viewed as “masculine” were the strong, silent types - not silent as in they didn’t communicate well, but silent in that they didn’t need to parade their “manliness” because they had a quiet confidence. They could say or do or like things not considered typically “manly,” and not care what other people thought of them. Confidence in being true to yourself, that’s a really sexy trait…

[@xionkuriyama5697]

"Animal contained by a system it doesn't understand" DOES unfortunately describe modern society.

[@auntiebobbolink]

"Animal contained by a system that doesn't understand the animal, and doesn't want to."

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

Borders are indisputably just fences for humans.

[@bthomson]

Almost every trend leads out of some other. The pendulum swings. Fashions change and then come back again. People get bored. People rebel. People try something new ( but nothing is new under the sun). Happiness is elusive especially if sights are set too high.

[@bkbland1626]

@@bthomson one must try, man. It's all we've got

[@CraigPMiller]

Snap! 😮😃🙃😎

[@deanreevesii]

As a dude who grew up around all this toxic s**t in the south for the last 34 years, I can't express how much I appreciate what you do. Keep on doing what you do, Beau. It's important.

[@BeauoftheFifthColumn]

That's a big part of how I pick videos to do on this topic. "What would've been helpful to me 30 years ago?"

[@shawnr771]

@@BeauoftheFifthColumn you aint that old.

[@alistairmackintosh9412]

@@liberalconservative7122 Other than about Putin...

[@alistairmackintosh9412]

@@liberalconservative7122 Tell me you know nothing about war without saying you know nothing about war.

[@alistairmackintosh9412]

@@liberalconservative7122 REMF.

[@amookable]

Based on a medical condition, I was unable to enlist and was miserable about it. A man told me it was good that I wanted to serve, and there was no end to the ways a person can serve. "This one avenue is closed for you, and that sucks. Agreed. Find something you enjoy and become great at it. Help people who need it. Be kind to people who need it - we all need it. Do your level best to make the little space around you a better place. That would be as good a service as anyone could ask for" It took a while to really internalize that little piece of gold, but I'm happy I met that guy as a young man.

[@kennethboehnen271]

True. Heros are everyday people. The person that goes to work every day to support the family and help others is a hero in my book.

[@theinvisiblewoman5709]

In the US serving* your community is much more honorable and praise worthy than joining the military on behalf of imperialism.

[@erichbrough6097]

A kind mentor like that would've been solid gold in my twenties. 👍

[@amookable]

@@theinvisiblewoman5709 That's one way to view it. My hope was opportunities my context didn't offer. It could be convincingly argued that I was naive, but I assure you "joining on behalf of imperialism" wasn't on my 17 year old mind. Friends who were able to serve exited the military with skills and experience that are otherwise difficult for a teenager to get. I worked in warehouses shipping lab chemicals and film products and spent two years trying to convince my supervisor that he should let me learn how to drive fork because the two dudes who were doing that work got high at lunch and another four years actually driving - it was honest labor but it's a stretch to think of it as service. In the grand scheme, it was just as supportive of imperialism as anything my friends were doing. They served the military. I served the economy.

[@theinvisiblewoman5709]

@@amookable wait. Working a job isn’t serving the community. Just sounds like you are talking about the benefits of serving in the military compared to not joining. If you didn’t do anything for the community (ex start a community garden, build a home, join local office, etc) then your contribution is equal to any serviceman which is nothing for the average American. You shouldn’t have felt guilty for not joining the military but definitely for not doing anything as a civilian but work. You also didn’t mention the friends that didn’t comeback and the ones with physical and mental illness due to service. Don’t forget the grass isn’t greener on the other side and meager government benefits don’t make up for it

[@heartofdawn2341]

What I look for in a man is not his physique, anatomical size, wealth, or a dominate personality (a huge ego is a _huge_ turn off) It's kindness (especially to those who are weaker), being treated as an equal, and having a heart for standing against injustice of the world, and doing what he can about it 💝

[@juju1896]

I second that!

[@dianemoonstone4715]

Agree completely. 👍 💕

[@dianeyhb]

Absolutely agree! I would even add intelligence to that list. Intelligence without kindness can lead to a lot of harm.

[@PleaseDontEatAnimals]

Agree 💯! So fortunate to be married for more than three decades to a man who literally wouldn't hurt a fly--or any other animal. 😍🐄❤️🐕❤️🐣❤️🐖❤️🐟

[@brendamartini2165]

Precisely!

[@vastdeferance10]

As a high school teacher in one of the CA flooded communities, I was very proud of the number of out students that opted to help their neighbors and the number of those that volunteered to form work crews to help clear and clean for those that could not do it themselves. They all have heard and now know the phrase “This speaks well of your character.”

[@kenmaples6856]

I wish someone could teach humanity to act like humans. Humanities inhumanity. Makes me wonder how extraterrestrials see humans?

[@UnashamedCaliforniagirl]

We have some great kids ❤

[@checklostandfound]

"HOW ANIMAL TRAPPED IN A SYSTEM IT DOES NOT UNDERSTAND" when you put it that way, the whole Alpha male thing actually makes perfect sense. Men are least aware of patriarchy and how this system hurts them too.

[@terrypetersen2970]

Am I masculine? Don't know, don't care. Even I fall short time and time again I strive to be a good person. In the Army I helped my buddies. In my neighborhood I try to help the elderly and sick as best I can. I volunteer once a week at a non profit. Trying to make my corner of the world a little better each day and hopefully it can be spread out larger in my city.

[@gracebellamy586]

You are better than merely masculine, YOU ARE AWESOME!!!

[@fabiankehrer3645]

You are a Hero.

[@marclagalle1486]

Terry gets it. Be like Terry.

[@michaelcoffey1991]

@terrypetersen2970 " In the Army I helped my buddies. In my neighborhood I try to help the elderly and sick as best I can. I volunteer once a week at a non profit. Trying to make my corner of the world a little better each day and hopefully it can be spread out larger in my city." No Sir, your a hero and a quality human being all in one :). However to stay on topic Yes you are what every man should strive to be. A good helpful loving human being.

[@MightyEmperor]

"I strive to be a good person" That's it really - it's not about redefining masculinity, it's not even about being a good man, it's about being a good person. Be kind, help others, don't be afraid to offer or ask for help and leave the world a bit better for having had you in it.

[@plastikk12]

I am not teaching my son to be masculine, I am teaching him how to be a man. A man is kind, a man is considerate, a man is helpful, a man is respectful, a man looks out for his friends, and a man is who he is.

[@doricetimko332]

Thank you

[@theother1406]

Everything you said applies to women as well.

[@M0oranshi]

A dude or girl doesn't NEED to be kind (they can be asswads) they don't NEED to be considerate (they can have off days) they don't NEED to be helpful (again) they don't NEED to be respectful (it changes from person to person) they CAN stay away from friends. I only agree with the last part: A man is who he is. My big brother (I'm the younger sis) has had a major breakdown recently because of people telling him he NEEDED to be all these things. People have flaws, let them have flaws.

[@paleggett1897]

Learn to be Grateful. 🤟🏽 Gratitude is great; Gratefulness is Greater❣️ 🙏🏽

[@HelgaMoro]

So why are you teaching that this is how "a man" should be and not just a person? A human? Why make these neutral qualities gendered? Every person should be kind, considerate, helpful, etc. You should expect it from any gender. It reminds me of how the quality of "courage" in my language is heavily associated with manhood, and to say that a woman is courageous you have to basically describe her as masculine. This thing you are doing reeks of that --- forcefully associating neutral qualities with male gender.

[@donnasmith3520]

Male or female: Have courage, honor, decency, humanity. Never give up.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

I appreciate this as a trans person who has had to navigate societal expectations for masculinity, femininity, and everything else in between. I learned that it's most important to be yourself, rather than whatever role society tries to force you into based on your outward appearance. If you can learn to love yourself for who you are, you'll be much better equipped to help others in need.

[@PleaseDontEatAnimals]

And as a bonus, you don't have to listen to others/follow their rules if you just live life with integrity and compassion. If your heart is in the right place, no one can shame you into being something you're not.

[@randytessman6750]

Stand up for those who cant, protect your loved ones, help your neighbours and be the first to help and teach children. Being a man isnt hard cuz all you need to do is being a caring decent human !

[@safe-keeper1042]

Preach.

[@redred222]

yep just be a good person, this idea that you need to make yourself something your not just to get a women to like you, you dont have to i happen to have a wife of 15 years and i was never pretending to be something i wasent and she loves me for me in fact i was diagnosed 12 years ago with brain cancer that usally kills you within months and she did all she could to help me and get me the treatments and now im 11 years free of cancer

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

@@redred222 : Congratulations on your remission !! 😊 Give your wife a hug from this fellow Earthling.

[@Fevebblefester]

Amazing that this is what we boys were taught men should be like when I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s.

[@marmadukescarlet7791]

I like to think my brother is a great example. Works in an extremely masculine, working class environment. Maintains empathy and kindness towards others. Opportunities in his career have helped him become a great communicator as well. I’m so proud of him.

[@HeatSeeker19]

Maybe what it means to be a "man" doesn't actually matter, be a good human being

[@nathanolson3135]

Ofcoarse it does , stop fooling yourself

[@hks2377]

@@nathanolson3135 Why? How is what makes someone a good or admirable person dependent on their gender?

[@HeatSeeker19]

@@nathanolson3135 it can absolutely matter to some if that helps you, but i don't think that needs to be ascribed to everyone

[@denisekeeran9883]

@iBkKiD19 Exactly this.

[@Lumi_Lumi13]

@@nathanolson3135 No, it doesn't. Gender & gender roles are a social construct. Straight up. Who decided what's defined as "masculine" & what's "feminine"? Don't equate sex with gender either; those are two separate things. To be strong, you don't need a penis nor is strength a purely masculine trait. It's just a trait that in itself has many, many, many definitions. Let people be people. Just be a kind, empathetic, decent human being. If you wouldn't want something done to you, do NOT do it to someone else. Treat others how you yourself wish to be treated. End of.

[@ryanruttan7480]

The 'alpha wolf' idea among people who are ignorant is one of the things that drives me crazy in a special way. Makes me wanna shake the idiots who bring that stupid crap up. All it is for them is a way to justify bad behavior.

[@paulmiddleton4900]

Ironically, viewed from the perspective of such structures forming when animals don't understand their surroundings and how they fit within them, it explains most teenage social structures quite well.

[@terrypetersen2970]

This guy was talking about being alpha and told him it was a myth taken from a book by David Mech. I also told him when Mech realized the study was incorrect he asked the publishers to stop printing, but they still do. Now this was his response "if it's such a myth what about the beta males"? From the same myth, geeze.

[@bskinny9009]

Alpha is the bossy arrogant guy that nobody likes.

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

@@paulmiddleton4900 : _"it explains most teenage social structures"_ Sorry to read you grew up in such a place. You deserved to have had a much better experience as a teenager..

[@fred5399]

How to be a man ❓ see the movie old yeller

[@debbybridge7064]

As an old straight woman, I see masculinity in a man with well-thought out internal values--a belief system, who uses that to care for his family, friends, and community. It's second nature. Basically, what Beau said. Actually, that's what I look for in everyone, not just straight men. Makes you a better human being, and the rest falls into place.

[@LyndaColterBergh]

My Dad was a pillar in our community. He was always willing to help others. He also dressed up as a clown for our elementary school carnival when no one else would. He always hugged us and told us he was proud of us and talked to us when we screwed up. He hauled a friend of his out by his ear and told him to never come back after hearing me cry as a child at how wrong it was for the man to say racists things. (My Dad grew up in a time when those things were pretty normal, even though he didn't say them himself. So he didn't do anything about it until he saw how wrong it was in my eyes. When we had to sell the family home to pay for 24-hour care for him and my mom after they both were too far along with dementia and alzheimer's for us to do it, the people that bought their home, having never met my Dad, heard so many stories about him from the neighbors and the community that they named their newborn son after him. THAT'S a man.

[@weebunny]

I almost cried at the end of this story. The minister at my (working-man) great-grandfather's funeral called him "a prince among men." It sounds as if your dad was a prince among men as well.

[@barbaraward9007]

Thanks for sharing this amazing story. Reminds me of an old hymn that says we are only remembered by the things we have done. Your dad is indeed a prince among men

[@fredherfst8148]

👌…thanks…from a old man who still helps around the house, gives advice, wanders around the home to do a safety check before going to bed, makes sure my loved one gets a daily hug, and does maintenance work around our strata. I have the honour of being called the old lamplighter because I look after all the outdoor lighting…I feel good when I do these things. So, even though I can no longer do the things strong young men can, I feel fulfilled. Btw…I don't do ladders..😁

[@b.a.d.2086]

You are pure gold!

[@marywallace4086]

@@b.a.d.2086 And very wise to stay off ladders. My Jim, to surprise me, climbed a ladder some years back to hang a Martin house in the back yard. I was still sleeping when he fell off, and had the grass not been wet and due a mowing, he would've likely been hurt. So glad he wasn't! We're both 82 now and ladders are totally verboten, except for a pretty short one.

[@fafnir491]

When I think of masculinity, I immediately think of the three sophomores who helped get my car free from a snow drift in college. Those men were my heroes.

[@PrincessNinja007]

Other than when picking apart these "alpha" types I don't think about masculinity at all. The things that people call "being a real man" is just the stuff that's expected of every social adult

[@careyfinding3310]

Growing up my dad, now in his mid 70s, showed me what 'masculine' was: Helping your neighbours, being kind, supportive, encourages my 'non traditional' interests, being a good father, working hard. He isn't perfect, but no one is, and when I grew up, I found a man like him, like the 2.0 version, and married him. He's hard working, helps a person in need, is kind and supportive, and everything my father is. Every man should seriously ask himself - do I want my child to be with a man like me.

[@kirstenwyatt9675]

This! This is what the poisonous "over protective father" trope tells you. He is protecting you, because of the man he and his friends were/are, and that he expects all men to be the same.

[@rogerelliss9829]

The key to masculinity AND femininity is to simply embrace yourself and be the best you you can be

[@fluuufffffy1514]

It's only as I'm approaching middle age that I realize just how broken up I am about not being able to have kids. I think I've subconsciously tied that to so much of what I see as 'worth,' 'manliness,' 'purpose'... That phrase: "How to be a man--do good." means so much to me. Thanks for the inspiration to be better

[@chrismullin8304]

You can still be a positive role model for all of the kids that need one!

[@billproctor1568]

I'm 69 years old and I have never fathered a child. I have been raising children since I was 21 years old. I have had many people say they could never raise another man's kids. It takes a lot more to be a dad then just getting a woman pregnant.

[@dianeaishamonday9125]

@@billproctor1568 my stepfather has raised one girl and helped re-raise me in my teens and early 20s (long story). Neither of us are biologically his, but he loves us dearly all the same. We need more men like that, and like you. Thank you.

[@cowgirljane3316]

I'm 71. And I remember my mom taking me to "charm school" waaaay back when I was a teen. The instructor gave up after she tried and tried to get me to walk and turn in a "dainty" way. I never could be dainty enough. But as an Army Brat, I could have been a good solider.

[@jannibal9273]

Yeah, I hear you. "What is a woman?" I guess I'm a failure because I didn't get married and didn't have any children. I just financially help nieces and nephews through college, fund prizes for female chess players and help fund female candidates for Democratic offices. I bake for the neighbors up and down my block and pass out brownies and banana breads that melt in one's mouth, teach the neighbors who ask how to garden when they have questions (I have the best lawn and garden beds on the block), their dogs all love me (dogs know who to trust), and it's true - I'm the lady who feeds the birds, the bees, the squirrels, the chipmunks, the rabbits and the occasional fox, along with marauding possums, porcupines and raccoons. I grow flowers to keep the bees and other pollinators happy. I plant trees. I help yearly do street clean-up of trash. I donate time to a nearby park to plant and upkeep garden beds and pick up trash there too. I donate what I can afford on a rather low fixed income to community fund-raising efforts, send checks monthly to Feeding America (local) and the local Rescue Mission which feeds and houses the homeless. Oh yes, I am an abject failure as a woman.

[@judyfoster9266]

@@jannibal9273 You sound like a caring, helpful and loving person . You are not a failure.

[@susanfarley1332]

Omg, your comment reminds me of what my grandmother told me. While walking in a shopping center she complained about the way I walked. Said I walked like I was plowing. Now I'm a grandmother and I realized that what she was really saying. She just wanted me to slow down because she was having trouble keeping up with me. I now have trouble keeping up with my grandkids when we walk but I don't use it as a way to criticize them. I just try to keep up.

[@fayeb.5855]

It’s about good people, male and female, making our world a better place.

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

Yea, this was the subject of a Tedx video today. But the comments section is still filled with incels because "feminism" was in the title. It's crazy how they don't see their utter lack of any courage. Not even enough courage to simply watch the video before commenting as if they had, but apparently are too scared of the "woke boogeyman."

[@bthomson]

Now all we have to do is agree what a better place is!

[@fayeb.5855]

@@aylbdrmadison1051 Little boys.

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

@@fayeb.5855 : I get what you mean (and I did lols too), but most boys are far more manly than any incel out there.

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

If you have a better response, please feel free to share it. If not, then what is even the point of nay-saying someone else who is at the very least, trying to help. If nothing else, OP has posited a perfect place to start from. I made my own list, but of course not everyone will agree.. A man has the confidence to take his losses with dignity. A man is humble and does not cower in the face of defeat. A man stands by his word alone, and doesn't feel a need to force others. A man leads by example, not force, nor through threats or violence. A man is not a coward, and doesn't cry just because others are different. A man defends those who are less able to defend themselves. A man never kicks down at those with less power.

[@john.premose]

The fact that it has to be taught proves its a social construct. Strange that most people never put that together.

[@RedHeart64]

You beat me to it! (GRIN!)

[@toxic1698]

No, it actually doesn't have to be taught, you either are one or you aren't, and if you think you have to be told how to be a man, then you aren't.

[@nfzeta128]

Literally having all these social constructs where gender is involved only makes it harder for people to be themselves.

[@monicadaniels784]

There are a lot of social constructs and many are useful. I wouldn't consider it a bad thing unless you hurt others. The key is to be genuine to yourself and with others.

[@karenjohannessen8987]

@@toxic1698 - If ya don't have any good examples, growing up, then ya DO have to be taught.

[@IllusAuthor]

This is my favorite Beau video of all time. From the moment you start talking about how women were taught to "project a feminine aire," I was brought back to Alabama, where I spent the first 27 years of my life, hearing comments directly from my dad, a farmer and a deacon & Sunday school at a small evangelical Baptist church, would tell me stuff like: - "If you don't learn to wear makeup, no man will love you." - "If you don't learn to sit up straight, no man will love you." - "If you don't learn good table manners, no man will love you." And so on. These aren't all direct quotes of course. Sometimes he'd phrase it like, "You want to marry a nice MAN don't you?" From the age of 3, my parents were divorced, so I was only exposed to this world every other weekend. At home, with my mom, a chemical engineer, closeted atheist, and obvious feminist (who would feel repulsed by being called a feminist due to the culture), with short hair and no makeup beyond tinted lip balm, I was not expected to adhere to these silly ways. In contrast, my dad's new wife treated me like a stage child, putting me in full-face makeup - I'm talking foundation, blush, lipstick, eyeliner, mascara - and doing full-stage hair - I'm talking hot irons, curlers over night, so much hairspray it was like I could pick up one hair and all my hair would lift up my head like an upside-down bowl... ... just to go to the rural church across the road. After getting embarassed in front of my best friend one of these weekends, for the crime of not using a fork and knife to eat my pizza at Pizza Hut, I confronted my dad about this abusive behavior. I got the ol' "if you don't like it you can leave" line from him, and told him, "Fine, I will!" My mom came and picked me up and he and that entire side of the family did not speak to me for the next 10 years. I was 12 when this happened. Our relationship did not recover. He is still the same person, and I am an autistic bisexual atheist who wears no makeup, has short hair, wears whatever is comfortable, and am living with my recovering Republican mother in a town as far away as you can get from Alabama and all our crazy relatives on the mainland, with our OWN farm, with blackjack and hookers. If anyone can relate to this I recommend the book Jesus & John Wayne. It really helped me understand how the culture I grew up in came to be, and how the red-blooded, gun-totin', white Republican Jesus we know today was formed.

[@Narthoniel]

I am proud of you for overcoming all of that and becoming who you are. It sounds like you have grown to be a bright, beautiful and confident person.

[@aquariusmoon771]

You are a very good writer!

[@IllusAuthor]

@@Narthoniel Thank you so much!

[@IllusAuthor]

@@aquariusmoon771 Ha, thanks a lot!

[@janesmith7128]

Oh man, "with blackjack and hookers" absolutely made me laugh. And I really do have to get around to reading J&JW. I've listened to all the talks on it and about it, and the interviews with her.

[@onbearfeet]

I was just thinking about this tonight. I grew up in a culture (fundie/evangelicalism) that still had all those rules for femininity. I more or less gave up trying at an early age since the rules included "don't wear glasses" and I needed them to function, but when I was about 13, a group of girls in my class made a pact with one another to be "good women" and keep one another accountable to their ideals. Step one, they agreed, was to stop gaining weight. Stop gaining weight. At age 13. Unsurprisingly, they all developed eating disorders, because normal human adolescence usually involves putting on some height and new tissue in certain places, and all of that adds weight. We're all pushing 40 now, and last time I talked to any of the pact girls, they were all still in and out of hospitals at least every couple of years. One had lost teeth to bulimia; another had permanently damaged her heart. As for being "good women", several of them can now be fairly described as Karens, which is why I haven't spoken to any of them since before covid. Meanwhile, if I had to name actual good women I've known, I couldn't name a single one that was rail-thin. Most of them are women who get on with doing what's right as best they can, and let the size of their thighs take care of itself. Every one of them is too busy trying to make the world a little better to care about whether she looks like a heroin-chic model from her teenage years. They're all busy teaching children to read or rescuing abused animals or fighting for civil rights or trying to save the planet. Any time I hear someone trying to tell teenage boys how to be "traditionally masculine", I get visceral flashbacks to visiting one of the pact girls in the hospital and counting how many bones I could see through her skin. Anyone who tells you they know the one way to be a REAL man (or woman) is lying to you. Run while you still have your teeth.

[@PhosphorAlchemist]

I felt your story here in my soul. Having grown up to know I'm so many things the religion of my youth demonized, I'm really glad I was able to get away from that and be fully happily myself. The obvious distance between being (appearing) good and doing good in those communities was one of my first indicators that it wasn't a place I should stay. Run while you still have your teeth is exactly right.

[@katiemcteague]

My parents instilled in me at a young age, and without really trying, a strong sense of self and confidence in all of their children. Not one of us fell to peer pressure or joined any kind of clic. I wore glasses and was overweight so I wasn’t one of the “cool” kids in high school. I couldn’t have cared less. I was smart and socially confident and didn’t need anyone else’s permission to be me. I just had my 50th class reunion and was amused by how the same people stuck together. I remember thinking that I was glad that I followed my own path. You do you.

[@I.m-Me]

Really, the bulk of the qualities that describe nontoxic masculinity also describe nontoxic femininity, because your gender-related tendencies will just be a natural accent to your efforts at being a good person. Since both the nature and nurture of gender are so highly variable, that is both different and valid for everyone.

[@sasentaiko]

Beautifully put. We don’t have language around how to be a good/nontoxic non-binary or agender or gender-fluid person (or other conceptions of gender), but the point is to strive to be a good person.

[@Chuk256]

So you might say that gender is a social concept that is defined relative to others and has no absolute properties? I am glad to see these concepts being redefined to be something good

[@I.m-Me]

@@Chuk256 yep. It's unfortunate that using clear and concise wording tends to run into culturally conditioned reflexive rejection, but I do believe that's why Beau talks about things round-aboutly much of the time

[@kkpenney444]

@@Chuk256 Oh, ffs. No absolute properties? My vagina says otherwise. I've so had it with this bullsh*t.

[@katie6731]

How to be a super duper, ultra-masculine, alpha dude . . . Develop the most ridiculous victim complex, and give it a hair trigger.

[@DavidRichardson153]

Not even a hair trigger. Just put the pedal to the metal and engage and lock cruise control.

[@casbot71]

And the ideal body type is only accessible by using steroids. … While denying that they do so (see Liver King). Then there's the irony of Tucker Carlsons TV specials _worship of the masculine_ that comes across as gay soft porn, especially to actual gay men who found it hilarious.

[@ficialintelligence1869]

@@DavidRichardson153 That "trigger" is usually at the end of a gun for these people.

[@MusicfromMarrs]

It’s all fun and games til the buzzkill arrives. 😏

[@SiriusMined]

That does seem to be the way of the He-Man Woman Hater's Club

[@kentbristol948]

My father taught me: work hard, solve problems, help others. In other words, be a useful, productivee member of society, use your unique talentts to do what others may not be able to do, and look beyond your own, selfish interests. I still try, at age 81, to live up to his standards.

[@painunending4610]

I'm not going to be a useful prodcutive member of a society that is built on oppression and hierarchy sorry. The most useful thign you can do in a society like that is destroy it

[@aquariusmoon771]

❤

[@signespencer6887]

‘Not masculinity but 18th century femininity’ - insightful, funny and true! Thank you! And good advice too- on what to do, not just how to look.

[@mrkmywrds]

Every woman in my life, beginning with the first, has taught me most of what it means to be a man: - to be a decent person first - and then to respect everyone else's personhood as well. And that gives you the right to look directly into any other person's eyes - and still smile.

[@Hachisherman75]

Thank you Beau! So glad someone is challenging this idiocy. I was lucky, Mom dressed, acted and walked like a man, and Dad was fluid as all get out, was a war hero, handled the big cats for Chases Wild Animal Farm, wrote poetry, and wore women's silk shirts because the men's silk shirts were more expensive and he wasn't about to spend extra money just to have the buttons go the right way. Neither parent had any issue with my childhood hatred of dolls and love of tractors. I wasn't told how to dress, wasn't told to act feminine, wasn't even close to feminine in my general handling of things, and I had absolutely no difficulty attracting men. Men shouldn't cater to these expectations. It will just complicate their lives and doesn't work anyway. You want a satisfying and adventurous life - do you, don't bend to others' ideas of what they want you to be.

[@erinmac4750]

Well said! Something I had issues with growing up, too many contradictory messages, not to mention being undiagnosed neurodivergent. I made sure my sons understand that they just needed to be good people, and the details were whatever/however they wanted to be. 🍀✌️😎

[@Hachisherman75]

@@erinmac4750 So your sons were lucky. I wonder if gender fluidity is more common with neurodivergent people. It runs in our family. Two of my own children identified completely with their birth gender, but one is gender fluid. I did the same thing with him that you did. That worked. He grew into a well balanced, kind and capable adult

[@PaleRider54]

This reminds me of the "real men don't..." trope. To me, a real man doesn't let others tell him how to be a real man.

[@gelusvenn5063]

@@PaleRider54 10,000% this. I realized somewhere in early high school or late middle school that I just... didn't care what people *wanted* me to be and I just wanted to do my own thing. I have been completely free of the imaginary shackles that came with it ever since, and I wish I could share that freedom with others, but so many people don't seem, to understand.

[@Primus-ue4th]

@@PaleRider54Yep. This whole video is for women. No man would take any tips from this.

[@Iseerightthruyou]

Beau should have 7.888 billion followers. I think everyone could benefit from a Beau of the Fifth Column video

[@lesliewolfe7643]

That's an oddly specific number 🤔😉And I completely agree!

[@autohmae]

That would be impressive, KZbin 'only' has 2+ billion active users. And only almost 5 billion Internet users in general. Even the most subscribed KZbin channel 'only' has 233 million subscribers.

[@Iseerightthruyou]

@@autohmae 7.888 billion, is the world population.....🤷🤷🤷🤷🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦😂😂😂But actually I believe it is just a touch over 8 billion as of 2023.

[@autohmae]

@@Iseerightthruyou yes, it's over 8. 7.888 bullion was from 2021.

[@Iseerightthruyou]

@@autohmae I bet you're a blast at parties.....😂😂😂

[@thejudgmentalcat]

I grew up with Mr. Rogers, Captain Kangaroo and Bob Ross...best role models ever

[@MemristerBoogieDown]

Mr green jeans scared the bejeezus out of me… no idea why but Mr Rogers was my tv dad.

[@jdice6868]

Thank you! My parents were older than my friends' parents. Dad was born in 1929, and my mom in 1934. My dad taught me "gentle-man" should be taken literally,.My mom said that a gentleman isn't defined by his clothing, but by his ability to make those around him comfortable.

[@TheIronSavior]

"This is how an animal, who is contained by a system it doesn't understand, behaves." Wow right on the nose.

[@haveabanana2930]

Ya, that explains a lot of republicans who dont understand capitalism, lol

[@The_Atheist_Carpenter5625]

The "alpha" mentality calls on all the worst impulses of human nature to try and stop the pain of lonliness. What they don't tell you is that your worst impulses, pride, vanity, ego and dominance, in the end they will leave more lonely than you ever thought possible. If you want your life to stop being lonely, give some of it as a gift to others. People will start to like you.

[@Andrea.1tree]

That is a beautiful way to describe a solution to loneliness.

[@suzannepottsshorts]

When you're giving love away, Love will come again to stay. What you give is what you gain When you pass it on. -Fraggle Rock

[@akeleven]

When I think of Japanese art, I think of the concept of the beauty of imperfection. Which is probably better for men to aspire to.

[@BeauoftheFifthColumn]

That's what started the conversation. He was talking about the sake glasses we had.

[@yveslafrance2806]

Kintsugi ("golden joinery") for example

[@painunending4610]

Wabi-Sabi is the word you're looking for. The idea of beauty in imperfection and transience. It's been a big philosophy in my own life and has really helped me

[@fingersfinesilver]

"This how an animal in a system it doesn't understand behaves." Yep. And there was me thinking that Americans do not understand irony. Well played Sir.

[@john.premose]

You're thinking of Muricans. A lot of people get the two confused.

[@Ironraven001]

Be. Kind. For men and boys struggling with loneliness and feeling rejected, be a kind person. Kindness is very attractive. Nothing has made me feel more masculine than having someone thank me for an act of kindness.

[@foxware5587]

Same here!

[@ullebor]

Happiness is found thru self-love.

[@meismeems1]

And nothing makes a man more attractive than seeing him help someone in need, either

[@jessemiller7540]

Best thing I've seen on youtube, and I've seen a few. I work with domestic abusers. Men. This is spot on and I may use it in my class. It's interesting, I find that when we get guys together in a healthy, safe environment we can get to a lot of interesting insights. We are people, and when we engage our brains we can make amazing progress on becoming better, more empathetic humans. Men are socialized to perceive women as lesser in many ways, but we can become aware of our programming.

[@franksutton2264]

Man I really needed this when I was a teenage boy without a father figure. This is so important when addressing this new generation of men who are emulating awful patterns of behaviour.

[@kirstencorby8465]

There's another guy who has a "stuff Dad would teach you" channel he does for boys with single mothers, or such. If I recall he was raised by his single mother, and he knows what the boys might need help with. I'm sure you can find it on here.

[@liabw05]

Is it called “dad, how do I?”

[@Sableagle]

I could have benefited from a lot of this advice when I wasn't even a teenage boy yet and did have a father figure.

[@monicadaniels784]

I think a masculine man has enough confidence to be kind, to stick up for the underdog when possible, to not be afraid to be honest about being vulnerable. That's what I value anyway.

[@AARon-fe1mo]

If you have to learn how to be a man you’re not a man you’re an actor. Be yourself, it’s much easer.

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

All babies are born with innate compassion. This makes all babies more "manly" than republican "men" (bigots).

[@chaosvii]

Learning how to be willing to be yourself and understand yourself is an important step a lot of those actors skip over.

[@toxic1698]

A man is what a man is. No more, no less.

[@RustyStator]

@@aylbdrmadison1051 Honestly, you come off kind of bigoted with that comment. Are you sure you know what that word means? I don't mean any disrespect. Bigoted - obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, in particular prejudiced against or antagonistic toward a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group. You and I have had respectful discussions in the past and you seem extremely intelligent. I just don't get how you are so unaware of your own blatant bigotry. Or maybe you are aware but you somehow justify it with your hatred for a particular political position. Idk either way it comes off hypocritical to anyone actually thinking about what you're saying.

[@apathyguy8338]

There's age old wisdom when it comes to attracting women. It has worked since I was a child and it still works today. Always treat a princess like a whote and a whore like a princess and you'll win her over every time. Side note that will just get you in bed it won't really maintain a healthy relationship. But who wants that?

[@Alverant]

My role-model for masculinity is Optimus Prime. When Peter Cullen was figuring out the voice for Optimus his brother, a marine, told him the character should "be strong enough to be gentle".

[@MyotisOccultus]

Well, he nailed it.

[@GoodJuju.8D]

Individuality. Self-confidence. Empathy and compassion make a human a good human. Everything after that will fall into place.

[@OutdoorLonghair]

🤞🌎✌️ It occurred to me the other day that my maga cousin is fighting to get back to a world where our grandmother would not have been allowed to own the business that she did.

[@tenebrousoul9368]

✌️

[@OutdoorLonghair]

@@tenebrousoul9368 👋

[@Andrea.1tree]

✌🏼😊 And the ones with the maga mentality only think they’d be happy with all the control, and would collapse under the responsibility. His grandma would probably work circles around him lol.

[@comfortablynumb9342]

MAGA lemmings should understand that businesses are good for the economy, even when women run them.

[@davidrichardson4131]

👍👍

[@LostCylon]

Easiest way to become a man, stop listening to other men who are simply wanting to make you a follower. Do what makes you and your family happy. *Be the best person you can be, not the best follower...*

[@CaliNic30]

Women still have not broken free from that "system of being lady-like". I'll take being a "tomboy" anyday.

[@ninemoonplanet]

I cuss, swing a hammer if necessary, and I am certainly a woman. I learned all that crap about "being a lady" with a spotless house, blah blah blah blah. F that noise! I found all of it useless when dealing with real life.

[@andreafox9137]

Total tomboy here, every career path I have taken is male dominated and not lady like. It's getting better, but there still aren't enough of us.

[@bthomson]

Me too.

[@cxa011500]

It's generally good for women to be "lady-like". There's nothing wrong with that.

[@CRMcGee2]

I found my tomboy 40 years ago, it has been fun and memorable.

[@PeterSchmuttermaier]

In my teens and early twens I was caught in the "Alpha-Tough-Guy"-BS, too. And I always felt like a failure, because it was going against every natural instinct in me. Towards the end of my twenties, I was fully immersed in my true passion: acting. Through this art I was able to connect to myself, to all the aspects of myself - the feminine, the masculine, the emotional, the rational, the insane, the sophisticated and the profane. I was confronted with sexuality in many forms through my colleagues (which I would guess were 50 % gay), but also through my own role work. Today I don't give a flying f**k about masculinity or femininity. I love ballet and contemporary dance, MMA, death metal, opera, science, IT, weight lifting, the Gilmore Girls, the Scissor Sisters, drag shows, etc. - whilst I dislike Football (European or American - doesn't matter), most other team sports, car races, country music, generic party music and so on. Everybody should grow up with the means to find out who they are, without biases about who they SHOULD be. This way it doesn't matter in the end if they are masculine or feminine or something in between. It just matters who they truly are.

[@Progressive_James]

In my opinion, this is the most thought-provoking video you have done vis-a-vis the American male ideal. When I see males behaving badly based on a made-up social construct, I don't admire them, I feel sorry for them. I want to go up to them and say, "Aren't you tired of carrying around this ridiculous affectation? Just be yourself. Stop TRYING! So well worded, Beau.

[@KvPhoton]

Thank you for making this video Beau, I can say that I'm 34 years old and just figuring this out. I spent a very long time fighting who I am, and trying to be a 'good man' out of fear that who I am wasn't good enough. All it did was get me sent to a crisis prevention center to keep me safe from myself. One year later I'm actually starting to find what my perfect self looks like, and I'm beginning to see that I'm surrounded by genuine friends, I'm happier in my day to day, I don't dread going to or coming home from work and wondering what face I need to put on this time. Everyone's masculinity looks different, and everyone's truth looks different. And that's beautiful

[@mistywolfmulti2639]

Beautifully said :)

[@ankem4329]

Wishing you happiness and success on that road.

[@lorettabrockmeier7616]

One aspect of true masculinity...be yourself.

[@kika-ge5qr]

Men need to get that women need to feel safe. Some of us have been assaulted and the care a man takes to make sure his love is safe and his family, if he has one. That is being masculine to me. A man that cares about the safety of others. A beautiful trait. Thank you Beau. ❇️

[@painunending4610]

No one cares about my safety so I have to wonder why I should care about anyones elses. No woman is out there making sure I feel safe I am so done with the regressive protector role. I am not your bodyguard

[@liabw05]

Yes, I agree! Men Keeping people safe is so appreciated!

[@krejados1]

How about men not being attackers? Then you wouldn't have to worry about needing a man to make you feel safe. Self-defense courses work wonders, too.

[@kika-ge5qr]

@@painunending4610 I am sorry for your pain.

[@hekatoncheiros208]

It can be very hard to get, when young men see women going for the d!ckhead bad boys. It is the female that drives evolution.

[@ninemoonplanet]

Keanu Reeves, if anyone wants to understand what a man is, understand why he is so attractive. He cries, cuddles animals, children, he's self deprecating, can be humble, strong all at the same time. He's constantly learning new things, trying to expand his understanding. Intelligence is very attractive, especially when willing to admit they're wrong or don't know. Being human, giving support, seeing different viewpoints, different people as equals. These are the attributes.

[@seandorval5579]

Not only that but he seems like someone who is comfortable with being in the same room with himself.

[@tygrkhat4087]

@@liberalconservative7122 Which are make believe and has nothing to do with the real person.

[@garfield2439]

Johnny Depp!

[@tygrkhat4087]

@@liberalconservative7122 So because his movies are violent, he's supposed to be violent?

[@seandorval5579]

He's typecast as that because of the range of his acting skills, in my opinion of course. He has a right to make a living. People who are actors and actresses tend to be empathetic so they can play their roles convincingly. That doesn't mean they actually have a dark personality disorder if that is the kind of roles they play not that that isn't possible. Bing Crosby was thought of as a good wholesome family man and then it came he was an abusive piece of sh#t. I really had a hard time not spelling the word out because that was the appropriate time to make a point with profanity. Another forum I would have.

[@jjoohhhnn]

I absolutely LOVED your comparison to the pre-womans lib women and the manosphere. How men need to find meaningfulness outside of a relationship, just like the womans lib movement did. Wow, thank you for making this.

[@jcwoodman5285]

And astonishingly enough masculinity can be achieved without ever touching a gun...

[@UnashamedCaliforniagirl]

Masculinity Is something a man 👞 is born with. He so doesn't need to do anything to to " achieve" it

[@donaldkrone4717]

when i first saw the title of this video, i thought wow Beau is venturing way out of his lane. But this message is just as powerful as usual. The legacy you leave is determined by the number of people you impact positively. Being the best person you can be, on a daily basis, is the path towards making a difference in this world, be it a man or a woman. Thanks Beau for sending a clear message.

[@catsupchutney]

Read Kipling's poem "If" dedicated to his newborn son. At time Masculinity certain could have a tender side. It's been perverted in recent years by movies like Jackass and pro wrestling.

[@nilo70]

Agree

[@john.premose]

Look how people in the 1700s dressed, lace, silk stockings, wigs, ribbons and bows, and that was just the dudes.

[@bcfortenberry]

Love that poem.

[@johnjohnson9100]

Great poem. Not so great parenting.

[@Galanthos]

I think Jackass deserves a bit more credit than that. Like, can you imagine someone like Andrew Tate standing in his underwear doing the Cup Test? I feel like the whole point of Jackass is that those guys are rejecting the Posture and Propriety expected of them, and being the joyful idiots they want to be. It's about not being afraid to look like a Jackass. Pro Wrestling ... well, it's been a couple decades since I've really paid attention, and I didn't really follow it much then either, but I feel like most of the Good Guy characters in Pro Wrestling are the guys who are sensitive, and caring, and honorable. The guys who love their fans, and their family, and who will take punishment on the ring to help their buddies. Like, I feel like a lot of people walk away with the macho posturing surface level stuff from these things, but that's not the material's fault. Let's not forget that the whole masculinity movement took the exact opposite message of what the "Red Pill" represents in The Matrix.

[@baxterdevin]

A man is someone who helps others because they want to help and not for some imagined aesthetic they want to project. This is the best response to the "Red-Pill/Incel" mentality I have heard. It's simple, it's true, and it allows heroic framing for the help you do. Gosh darn it you are amazing, Beau! ❤

[@dunkelzhan76]

"Crush your enemies, see them driven before, hear the lamentations of their women" - Conan the Babarian - First time I heard that I was about 5 or 6, when I asked my dad what that statement meant he looked at me and said " in the grand scheme of life, utter nonsense" He used to say " a real man is just the same as a real woman, they are simply decent human beings."

[@LC-sc3en]

I don't remember who said it but I have always believed "The opposite of Man is not Woman. The opposite of Man is Boy". The only differences between a man and a boy are time, maturity, and being trusted as responsible. Therefore, to become more manly those things would be what you would want to increase. Maturity to wisdom and kindness flowing from that. Responsibility to taking care of what needs to be done as best as you can. From the two combined you get helping others. You don't have to be the provider to fulfill your manliness. You just need the wisdom to recognize when help is needed, wanted, and you have the ability to help. The kindness to start helping and the character to committing to your promises to the best of your ability.

[@joeldobbs7396]

Well said! I have a 7 year old son and a great deal of how I try to influence his development is done with an awareness that when he is 14 there will be some dirtbag selling the 48th iteration of seal penis necklaces (it was a thing, seriously) I already make a point to help people when we are out on our adventure days, we open doors, carry groceries and generally give everyone the impression we are descended from some line of fanatically polite squirrels (also a thing, also seriously). Cheers Mr. Beau, keep up the good work.

[@wanderingsoulenterprises5564]

Wow Beau - I know this is a talk about masculinity, but it’s blowing up my mind rethinking my own ideas about femininity. The truth is, I’ve almost been living in the pre-women’s lib mindset for most of my life. And I actually enjoy embodying some of those “feminine” traits, but for so many years I took for granted what a wonderful blessing it is to be able to live independently and earn my own living, own my own life. And, it’s taken far too long, but I’ve finally come to realize that my value doesn’t reside in my ability to catch a man. And that’s what I would love for more men to figure out - there is no need to control women out of fear that they’ll reject your love and leave you- because your self worth as a man lies within. Healthy adults don’t need external validation. And you’re so right on - we should all channel our energy into helping each other - heaven help us!

[@rubiesrred7042]

Invaluable. We still have so far to go as a society. Thank you for posting on this topic.

[@melissabelle8626]

I saw a post once about Clark Kent being the perfect man, and I’ve always agreed with that. He’s humble, hard working, decent, and good to other people… Brendan Fraser seems to fall into this category as well. These are the type of men I hope I am raising my sons to be.

[@thejudgmentalcat]

Brendan is awesome...I so hate Hollywood for what they pulled on him and I'm glad he bounced back with a massive middle finger

[@groaningmole4338]

The only thing is that Clark is a fictional character. It's easy to build perfect people on paper. Real life is more difficult than that.

[@SaddleInTheRain]

Yes, Brendan Fraser. Great example.

[@painunending4610]

Just be a comic book superhero bro. Totally not an unrealistic expectation

[@jenniferstone2975]

Lover this! Well said! 👏👏👏👏

[@henny6438]

Danke!

[@victoriapearce6145]

Hmm. So true. I am always impressed by an independent empathetic man. How a man treats those around him, family and stranger says so much

[@tomarmstrong4761]

Even before I listened to the entire video, I'm thinking that I've learned far more positive things about how to be a good and decent man by listening to women than I ever did listening to men I knew prior to meeting my stepfather. My stepfather taught me more about being a good man in this society than my bio father (at the risk of damning with faint praise), and also more than society had taught me. Even SINCE I started interacting with him, I've learned tons of good things about how to be a good guy by just listening to the women around me, whether or not I knew them. "You're failing, because you're trying." That's a great tag line. For me, being masculine is about having the courage to LISTEN and OBSERVE, and learn from my observations. Learn how people want to be treated, and treat them accordingly. Listen to people who know stuff, and learn from them. Keep my pie hole shut, and LISTEN. And, yes, help folks make their world better by their own definitions. Pay attention. LISTEN.

[@customs1003]

A great teaching moment for me was Fat Joe and the Pink Jumpsuit. Fat Joe is a rapper from back in the 90's when the scene was all about being hyper-masculine. He shows up to an awards ceremony in a fluffy pink jumpsuit, which caused quite a reaction. Many rappers refused to stand near him for fear of being in a picture with "a gay-lookin' dude". But of course, reporters swarmed him and asked why he wore it. "You have to be comfortable in your masculinity in order to rock this! And it's comfortable..." And it started a trend at hip-hop clubs you still see to this day. Masculinity is about not worrying what other people think, and doing what suits you. In this case, if your goal is to get attention, wear bright pink!

[@leyrua]

I love this, because it is absolutely true. It's kind of like dancing: there is no one way to do it, as long as you do it with confidence, otherwise it is just _awkward._

[@ankem4329]

Love that 🤓 He did not need "the accepted props" to know he is a man. No crutches needed.

[@spht9ng]

Don't forget Cam'ron. King of the pink fur. Even had the pink flip phone to match

[@MKPiatkowski]

What I love about this was that in the 19th century pink was considered a masculine colour because it was a form of red, a "strong" colour. He was just jumping back!

[@staomruel]

Every once in a while you have a topic where you 'flip the mirror' and all I can say is 'wow'. Thanks Beau, this one is immeasurably helpful.

[@juliekaalaas9071]

We all have masculine and feminine inside of us, regardless of our gender. I feel like the people who get hung up on these things are generally lacking humanity, regardless of gender. Thank you for another great video, Beau.

[@skywise001]

Ive been failing for a long time. I managed to pick up a bunch of stupid ideas about how I should act. Over the years I learned to fight those ideas with empathy, kindness, caring. Even if its a big ask to extend it to myself I can try.

[@lesliewolfe7643]

I have so much respect for you trying to change your ways. Because in order to do so you have to admit, at least to yourself, that your thinking/behavior is flawed. That is not an easy thing to do. So many people absolutely can't or won't even consider it. The fact that you're even willing to try is more "manly" and attractive than you can imagine. Don't give up!

[@jadecovehealing]

It's pretty normal to pick up stupid ideas in this society. Especially if we didn't have a role model to show us differently.

[@ddewittfulton]

As an introvert I haven't pursued and abundance of activities in my to expose myself to a public audience. I was always better (more successful if you like) in small groups or, even better, one-on-one. So imagine my surprise a few years ago when I began volunteering at the campus food drive during the days of COVID I found myself tapping to a wellspring of for lack of a better term I called my masculine energy. I used my body (big, tall strong dude), my deep. voice, and my organizational imperative to help our loading team get it together to deliver heavy boxes of food to cars. Not for nothing, I can say that when we'd do it again the next month, women from the previous group were keen to work with me. None of these was about attracting sexual interest (although I suppose one could have "worked it" that way) but rather creating a nexus of useful energy to be of common service to our neighbors. I noted that other teams consisting of young "bros" took longer to get organized and the women in the group essentially took to getting the job done with or without them. Personally, I also think being vital in your age is important. Regardless of masculine or feminine energy, the confidence that exudes from experience is infectious. (Maybe even, dare I say, sexy!)

[@lesliewolfe7643]

You sound intelligent and well-spoken as well. Very very attractive qualities!

[@painunending4610]

People who say 'masculine and feminine energy' scare me. There really are no such things

[@painunending4610]

@@lesliewolfe7643 As someone who isn't intellgent it's great to know I'm not attractive

[@jeromewright93]

My mom told me that a bar is an excellent place to meet an alcoholic. Going to a charity event is an excellent way to meet a charitable person. Give it a try.

[@garybowler5946]

I'm a 66 year old man and all my heroes for the last few years have all been women.

[@salsal435]

Thanks Beau! I've seen many companies advertising about how to be manly but only if you buy what they are selling

[@gigi3242]

I hope for a day when people can just be themselves, without the artificial roles imposed upon them.

[@denisekeeran9883]

@gigi3242 This. I wish we'd drop the whole gendered stuff and just be good humans. Period. Not good men/good women. Just people.

[@painunending4610]

Me too but it seems people in these comments don't agree with you. They just want to change the roles instead of destroying them

[@hopefulskeptic42]

Oh Beau! You really hit this nail right on the head. One of the other commentators summed it up with, "...don't be a dick."

[@dokskwyr4353]

I really like what you said as it is what I write about much in my work. In it I talk about men being nurturing husbands, caring fathers, community-minded, putting the needs of others first and foremost.

[@Occam31]

I get up at 5 am everyday to help my wife and kids get to school and work. I then battle traffic to get to my office where I work all day. Three days a week after work I go to university to work on my law degree. Afterwards I go home and I read to my boys before they fall asleep and the cycle repeats. A man takes cares of his family and the people around him. A boy adopts the aesthetics of masculinity while embodying none of the character traits that make a man a man.

[@brianpratt3224]

I agree with you Beau, however, I will say good posture can save you a lot of back pain as you get older.

[@Christopher33312]

Brilliant, Beau. BRILLIANT!

[@gailcapshaw5772]

That is so true. I remember the masculine men were doing good deeds to assist others. I’m so glad you made this post. I’ve tried to explain it before and never found the right words.❤

[@lind774]

Masculinity- using your strengths and gifts to help others - I love it!

[@edwardhanson3664]

Robert Bly led a movement of men who wished to heal themselves from toxic masculinity. The media trashed it.

[@UnashamedCaliforniagirl]

That sucks 😞

[@ciskaverster6979]

My god... I have never thought I would hear this content delivered by a man. Forgive me Beau. I underestimated even you. This message is really surprising and wonderful to see Thank you

[@cathyblack6896]

But I think about what a man should be like, I think about my grandfather. He was born in 1926 so he was the older generation however, he was kind and gentle strong and thoughtful. He loved his family without reservation. He was accepting of people's differences. I knew I could go to him with anything I needed to discuss and I could do that without feeling like he would judge me. It wasn't just me that felt that way. In the family he was The Rock. He was the soft place to fall. He was the person you went to to discuss anyting. He's been gone since 1996 and everyone even extended cousins talked about how wonderful he was and how much he is dearly missed. When I take the measure of a man, he has to come at least somewhere near what my grandfather was.

[@nilo70]

Very insightful Beau , very well put .

[@davidmachemer1015]

Brilliant insight!! And once again, I am thankful for my dad, who taught me (in the 1960s) that "real men" do not have to prove they are men.

[@indaybadiday8884]

Beau, your message is soooo badly needed right now. Thank you for using your platform and insight to counter misogyny and toxic masculinity.

[@angelikalindenau943]

This is a beauty!

[@briansmutti]

yes, it is most of them are ! 🤗♾️

[@ramirorodriguez9671]

I've been listening for a few years now. This might be the best video you have ever put out.

[@jjjjjjjjkigghh8662]

Agree, I know a few men who are insecure and in crisis, and really would be helped by this.

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

A man has the confidence to take his losses with dignity. A man is humble and does not cower in the face of defeat. A man stands by his word alone, and doesn't feel a need to force others. A man leads by example, not force, nor through threats or violence. A man is not a coward, and doesn't cry just because others are different. A man defends those who are less able to defend themselves. A man never kicks down at those with less power.

[@Andrea.1tree]

That’s beautiful Aylbdr! 👋🏼😊

[@daveapplemotors]

Did trump ever read this list?

[@marieroberts5458]

@@daveapplemotors does tfg ever read??

[@aylbdrmadison1051]

@@Andrea.1tree : Hi hi Andrea! Hope you're doing great.😊 And thank you. Hopefully it will help some.

[@fred5399]

@@daveapplemotors he doesn't read

[@jayf8308]

self sacrificing, keeping your word, being respectful, hard working, strength, resolve, and not afraid to be fair and show a little kindness is how I remember most of the men in my family growing up. I hope i am all of that.

[@psssstyeahyou]

Thank you Beau. Good talk. As a single mom many years ago I could have really used this video. Sometimes it’s hard to find the right approach for a dad talk when you’re a woman. You are right on. These are all the words I would have wanted then, I’m sure it didn’t come out at all like your words, this is what I wanted my boy to hear. Thankfully I can report that he worked most of this out for himself, tg, he’s now a pretty good grown up and a great humanitarian.

[@Riverbend1752]

One of my coworkers always talks about how I am "such a man." I have always wondered how given that I don't conform to what I have thought of as being masculine. This video helps me to understand. I had always thought that I didn't want to be masculine if it entails what I thought it entails, but it never occurred to me that these people just had a wrong definition.