Let's talk about the male scale....

[@joemccall8991]

"Nothing gets conservatives more excited or frothing at the mouth quicker than what's going on in other folks' bedrooms." - Former Texas Governor Ann Richards

[@LG-dz9ss]

So true!!! Leave children alone and Idgaf what you do in your bedroom!!!

[@anitraahrens905]

Ann Richard's was absolutely correct!

[@zacharylindahl]

@@LG-dz9ss you're right, conservatives are harming children as well. Even trying to keep child marriage laws on the books

[@katieking8830]

She rocked!

[@wandasetzer1469]

@@danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307 Dan Quayle could teach you some stuff about spelling.

[@graceskerp]

"Peer pressure from dead people" That's a keeper.

[@jamesoquinn9168]

Aka, " traditions ".

[@pmclaughlin4111]

I'm a bid proponent of the dead white male curriculum I laughed too... It is a keeper

[@gurusmurf5921]

"Tradition and heritage are all dead people's baggage. Stop carrying it." -Doug Stanhope

[@-8_8-]

Yeah, he says that a lot about traditions.

[@Bugg...0_o]

Less than 4 mins in I was already laughing out loud at this nonsense! I wish more folks would tie tie these concepts together, and I wish I had noticed this before. Thanks Beau!

[@Pbav8tor]

My husband was the kindest, most empathetic human I have ever known. He was unquestionably masculine. An eight year Vietnam Era veteran who passed at the end of 2019 without having his heart broken by January 6th. Paul David Byers 1951-2019. Please thank him for his service; our government never did.

[@b.pragmatic]

🇺🇸❤️🤍💙

[@ronwarren4196]

Those guys in Vietnam were my true heroes when I was a little boy. If your husband were still alive I would ask you to tell him, "Welcome home."

[@teresathomley3703]

I thank both of y'all for his service. Really touching and appropriate words, ma'am. Thanks again.👍♥️

[@barbarahurless268]

❤

[@sinfullyironic4755]

Vietnam was an atrocity. No honor comes from that hell

[@swishh55]

I watched Beau's previous visit, too, regarding the alpha male. My husband was my "house husband" after I begged him to "retire" from truck driving after I got my nursing degree and could make more doing overtime than he got paid trucking over the road for 7-10 days at a time. He gladly did that. He did laundry, cooked fabulous meals, made sure our teenage daughter didn't run wild, kept the house clean and tidy, ironed my uniforms and made trips to have breakfast with my nursing friends and me after night shift. NO ONE looking at him would have ever said "wimp" but that's what these so called alpha males would THINK. This man was a football player, a trail gunner in the Air Force during the Korean war, tough as nails. I only ever heard him complain when he had kidney stones and then later when he needed 5 vessel cardiac bypass surgery. My friends always said he was the only man they knew that was completely secure in his manhood. Also, after his parents got too weak to be alone, he and his sister took turns caring for them. THAT is a man. And he was born in 1930. Never met another that could lick his boots.

[@UnlikelyToRemember]

They're out there. You never met them because. like your husband, they're just quietly doing what needs to be done. They aren't out there Andrew Taint-ing up the place screaming about what an alpha male they are.

[@gido9467]

@@UnlikelyToRemember It always warms my heart when I see men like the one described above tell the insecure Tait-likes to sit down and shut up. Hopefully the people who used to believe that “alphas” are worthy role models can begin emulating secure people instead. Hopefully they realize that no happiness will be found if they take after the toxic coping mechanisms of scared, insecure people.

[@hwstokkan]

This is the kind of man I strive to become. What a lovely story, he must have loved you very much.

[@boblewis5033]

If you have to say it to confirm it then you are not. Best to bash on and ignore the noise. And not care what the noisy ones think.

[@louannkyle602]

Exactly my hubby was in the navy but for a bit I worked and he stayed home and took care of the kids he was great at it, I always say he’s strong but soft he can fix anything and cry with a hallmark movie I’ve been loving him for 39 years

[@CorgiDaddy2]

People comfortable in their masculinity don't have to create little categories to scream about their (and everyone else's) masculinity. We just go about living our lives and being kind people.

[@mervyngreene6687]

Let's take this even further. People who are comfortable with who they are don't pay any attention to ANY attempts to categorize others..

[@WGB3019]

They don’t need much to live their lives to their own best fulfillment. I learn and grow. I laugh at stuff I think is odd and sometimes I don’t grow - but I don’t have to put someone else down to make me feel better in comparison. Well, I find the MAGA group tiresome. Living with others who are working against getting along is tiresome to the extent it impacts you.

[@hoosiergirl6344]

Yep, very true! Not if the person is secure in who they are, they don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone.

[@mervyngreene6687]

@@hoosiergirl6344 I discovered this when I first moved to San Francisco in the 1980's. Almost all of the men I knew would immediately "declare" what they were. The weird thing was that it seemed like both the straight men and the gay men tended to exaggerate their mannerisms. The Gay men claimed that they did this to prove that they were proud of who they were. The straight men claimed to do it because if they didn't people would assume that they were gay. Luckily, I developed a group of friends who were so secure that it was annoying. The weird thing was that the most flamboyant members of my group were usually straight. And, the reserved, sports loving outdoorsy types were gay. So much for stereotypes. If someone made a snide remark or implied insult (f__, d___, breeder, etc.). They would just laugh in their faces, or do something really outrageous. I was never good enough at thinking on my feet to master that technique. But, I found the perfect response. "Don't worry about it. I assure you that I will never have sex with ANY of you."

[@orangutantapioca1530]

This reminds me that of a line from comedian Christopher Titus; “Just because you aren’t laughing, doesn’t mean I’m not funny.” Or in other words, I am funny because that’s what I am. You disagreeing doesn’t change me. Just sub in masculine for funny and you’ve got it.

[@drewncarolina6381]

I had a former supervisor and friend whom often wore pink polo shirts to work. He was sometimes asked why and if he was worried what someone may think of him. His standard reply was "Real men wear pink" and would add that he isn't insecure and doesn't care what they think. I should add that he was a Navy veteran and former military policeman. Also a big badass dude, a good father and husband to his family, he is a good kind man and mentor for myself and others.

[@brianmccollaum5489]

My wife loves it when I wear a Salmon colored dress shirt. So guess what I wear on occasion?

[@m.racheljones7019]

Historically, in the late mid 18th century, pink was considered a masculine color. Observe the painted portraits of men of the era.

[@danusdragonfly6640]

@@m.racheljones7019 Yes baby boys used to always wear pink. I think it changed in the early 20th century?

[@ProctorsGamble]

It’s not pink! It’s rose!

[@m.racheljones7019]

@@ProctorsGamble 😆

[@Picla_Peremohy]

Love this, “Stop worrying about what a good man is and be one. Stop worrying about what a good person is and be one.”

[@bossdunkz]

I take your point but that’s hard to do when you don’t know what that looks like. The problem here is a rigid adherence to patriarchy, not worrying about definitions

[@EH23831]

We need that on a t-shirt

[@EH23831]

@@bossdunkz the point is you don’t have to know “what that looks like”. Trust yourself and treat others as you would like to be treated, and voila- you’re being a good person! ♥️

[@specialingu]

@@EH23831 i suspect the ones who fall into this toxic masculity stuff, their lost to start with.

[@blazewinters2593]

@@EH23831 Absolutely!

[@Fergusbaddog]

My bud (now a Social worker) called then visited my homestead a bit back "to visit and help me with some chores". I hadn't seen him in years and I'm not about to turn down extra help!! He wanted to "get his hands dirty" and boy did I keep him busy! We: Dropped (fell) a few huge trees for more Garden space&sun. We then milled the logs to make some boards for a cabin I'm building. I even showed him how to flip the chainsaw bar and resharpen the chain. He wanted to learn how to shoot a pistol so we made time for that too. I also taught him how to drive the tractor and he helped me make a (large) composting spot. We later sat around a fire and sipped on some smooth whiskey and he said (opened up) that 'He wants to be more of a man'. He said that his older brothers were teasing him for 'never doing manly things'. He continued and went on to say that I (me) was 'the manliest man he knows' and how much he respects my Military Service, fixing my own stuff, building my own house and homestead etc., etc., and part of the reason he came to visit me was to find this 'man' his brothers (who he really looks up to) couldn't see. I was shocked that this was how he measured a man, himself and myself, I felt no more "manly" than anyone else, I just like to work with my hands is all, there's nothing special or complicated to it, just different interests. I told him that my hero will always be my first Social Worker (his occupation) something I never shared with him before. He (my social worker) was there for me when I was a little kid getting placed into foster care (extreme neglect). My assigned Social worker told me that he would be there 'for me' 'throughout the process' and I could call him if I ever needed advice, help or just an ear... That man was there for me when I was alone heartbroken, lost, completely without and afraid, he was the closest thing I had to a father figure and I will carry the light he shared with me for the rest of my life, he is one of my greatest heroes. There's not a single soldier I served with or carpenter I built with that holds a place in my heart higher than that man... He (I now know) didn't do it for the lousy pay, it's a very stressful job, he did it 'to help me' and that kind of strength truly humbles me, if I'm half the man he is deep down in my heart, I'll consider that a win. I grew up in a very conservative rural (farming) community, the people that didn't fit their 'what it means to be a man' stereotypes were often mistreated by people that called themselves men...

[@markrenfrow9873]

Good on you, Man ! (Glad you got help with chores, and didn't have to "Tom Sawyer" him into it!)

[@alongyourpath]

Very well said sir. Thank you for your service, not just in the military but also in being there and knowing the worth of another soul.

[@inmyimage1081]

A good take away for you is that the man you have become is a man that others have come to respect and seek to emulate. he may have come to you for are arguably the wrong reasons but the fact is that it was you he not only chose to go to, but he felt comfortable enough to open up and be honest to. Sounds like you have had a bit of a rough life, but this proves it’s been a successful one.

[@erinmac4750]

Thank you for sharing your story. As a single mom of sons, without much access to good make role models for them, I always told them that before everything they should be a good person. If a good example came along, I would point them out and explain what that person was doing right. It was a challenge, but my boys both have a strong sense of justice and compassion. My oldest just graduated from college in recreation therapy and volunteers with a group that takes people with disabilities on vacation activities. Our society can be brutal on young people, especially if they don't conform. I do my best to encourage my students to be their own person, and let them know that I'm there for them. It looks like whether you realized it or not. You've become that person, someone like your social worker, who others can look to for guidance or example. I'm glad you're passing things on. The world needs more people like you all. 🍀 Edit: autocorrect...

[@inmyimage1081]

@@erinmac4750 As the father of a son with low-mid function aut1-sm (sadly have to avoid the youtube filters), I say you can pass on to him that he will make more of an impact to the lives of the individuals he works with than he realizes right now.

[@stratocruising]

I asked my wife what made her think I would be a good husband. She said, "You're a nice guy and you make me laugh." Enough for her, and me.

[@janetmichelson3978]

That's about all any decent person needs. 😁 Sounds like a good situation.

[@HomewardBound961]

"They accept a lot of peer pressure from dead people". That one made me lol. Thanks Beau.

[@Xeridanus]

I think he has that on a shirt in his store.

[@catm5889]

Are we still talking about the He-man woman haters club? I’m so glad the men in my life are more like Beau than the pizza box busted boys.

[@need-to-know-]

🔥

[@briansmutti]

🙂9th

[@brianmccollaum5489]

And that right there is the thing that confuses the “bro” culture the most. They make up a bunch of “rules” for masculinity that are ignored or rejected by the people they most want to impress. A self defeating system.

[@lloyds7828]

more than half the women in my administration are women. Joe Biden

[@cheftommiller]

Pizza box busted boys sounds like a sketchy sex porn video 🤣😅🤡🙈🙉🙊

[@JeanKnits]

As a retired Gender Studies professor, I wish I had this video years ago. Thanks, Beau!

[@ABCXYZ-jk8me]

Born-again go to Heaven Babblers do not go to Heaven

[@-8_8-]

@@lancecarter1888 lol, people have been examining the difference between men and women since the introduction of stand up comedy.

[@gracebellamy586]

@@lancecarter1888 You probably don't realize this, but people began becoming interested in gender studies in the early 1970s, when men became puzzled as to why women didn't want to be 1930s style housewives anymore. Apparently it was too confusing for them that women wanted to determine our own pathways in life and not be chained to some domineering type who would drink himself to death and perhaps in a drunken haze abuse us. Or abuse us while he was sober. During WW2 women were able to get jobs and discovered how nice it was to make our own decisions, and have been evolving along those lines ever since. This was confusing to some men... mainly those who crow about being "alphas" now. Some wanted to know why... and then never attended those classes to learn the reasons.

[@antonnurwald5700]

Retired gender studies professor, is there such a thing? Edit: this is a rethorical question expressing my surprise that this (in my limited perception) relatively young academic field is already undergoing a generation shift.

[@mikeprefontaine3865]

@Church of Jean, do you happen to know the "debunked study" he's referring to?

[@billcook7285]

I grew up with that nonsense. Now that I'm old, I can see the pure stupidity in the way my elders conducted and represented themselves as "men". I have seen what a real man is. And even at my age, I strive everyday to become a better one.

[@daisyelmir1289]

Now that Bill, is exactly what a "real man" (their vernacular) does. 👍🌼 this 60 year old Grandma tries too. We're never to old to learn something new.

[@billcook7285]

@@daisyelmir1289 Amen to that Daisy, Amen to that. As a follower of Jesus, 🤔 not the blond-haired blue-eyed white baby Jesus. Born in Texas, preached in Oklahoma and died killing Natzzs in Ve-it-naam. Not that one. The Jewish one, with the crooked nose. 😀 As a disciple of his, I just don't understand the meanness in people nowadays.

[@canadianperspective3731]

Good on you Bill. Stay safe and well neighbour 🇨🇦🇺🇸💕

[@daisyelmir1289]

@@billcook7285 I don't understand the meanness either Bill...guess they've never heard "live and let live" or "mind your business". Used to live in Oklahoma City many moons ago. I was brought up Catholic with a prominent picture of "Jewish Jesus" displayed in my Nan's living room. His eyes followed you everywhere! 🌼

[@daisyelmir1289]

@@billcook7285 I neglected to say thank you... for your service and sacrifices. My Grandfather was a Colonel in WW2. My uncle's have served as well. I'm very aware of what kind of man you are and I salute you Sir.🍻🌼

[@SteveChisnall]

To them, it's *not* a spectrum acknowledging more-than-two genders. To them, it's a *pecking-order* intended to establish and enforce an hierarchy.

[@nickelbutt]

Wonder who they think should be at top? *cough*

[@Tespri]

When was the last time you touched grass if you think that anyone would consider gender as pecking order for hierarchy?

[@Xeridanus]

@@Tespri Have you not heard of the patriarchy? Whether you believe it exists or not, the mere existence of the word proves that some do consider gender a hierarchy.

[@Tespri]

@@Xeridanus word partiarchy is usually used by bunch of buffoons who haven't actually read history. Within normal families patriachy's role was simply be the head of the family to secure their livelyhood. Since most of the labor was physical so women couldn't do it and even less so while being pregnant. Not just that but man could've left anytime he wanted and survive while woman would have more issues in trying to do so. Only in modern society where society is made to support women in by giving them special priviledges, allows them to survive even if their husbands leave them. Also it's hardly "priviledge" of hierarchy to have whole responsiblity of survival of your family on your shoulders. Only people who have never had any responsibility or pscyhopaths maybe even both, views that power as something to be enjoyed as. While on social level the kings were mostly made out of warriors and succesful generals or their offsprings. Thus male heritance was obvious in most cases except in few exceptions where there are no male heirs or king dies before his son is on full age. In modern society genders have nothing to do with "hiearchy". Thus proven that you're just a kid who has no clue what you're spouting.

[@jordanthompson8268]

@@Xeridanus There are 2 sexes. This is a biological observation. Nothing more.

[@TheSwiftFalcon]

Okay, this is a keeper. :D The whole "alphabet male" stuff for me is primarily a way to identify men/boys who are insecure about their masculinity...but it hadn't occurred to me that in inventing this system, they are basically affirming people with non-binary or non-cis identities. I don't think they are going to like it, but I love it.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

The trans community has been pointing this out for years, but hypocrisy never stopped conservatives before. It's like how they believe rights should only be for them, not anyone else.

[@deniseengle4269]

Ikr!!?

[@kerryarrant1523]

Really, everything is a system. The Greek alpha is the first letter ergo , the number one male. So, the bragging screaming ketchup throwing is really about proving I'm better than you because I say so.

[@thamurdm]

There is also the irony of the use of Greek letters in this. Letters that were created by the most gender fluid people in antiquity. 🤭🤭🤭🤭

[@Tespri]

Your comment sounds pretty insecure

[@Bob20011492]

Beau, you have used the gentlest possible language to make an incredibly important statement. I watch your videos to try to improve my own ability to do the same. This civility doesn't come naturally to me, so you're changing thought in another way. Thanks for your continuing work in making this a better world.

[@john.premose]

I'm sometimes afraid Beau is way too subtle for those types of people to grasp. They aren't the smartest, you know

[@grmpEqweer]

_

[@cuckoophendula8211]

Yeah, I tend to think along the lines of people in such mindsets to be in a state of grieving (I tend to extend the definition of grief to processing change where we'd grieve the death of the previous state of the world, and processing uncomfortable truths which includes grieving the death of a loved one). And if we'd take the quintessential example of imagining how we'd communicate with someone grieving the death of a loved one, telling them, "your mom's dead, get over it!" may technically be true, but it may not help them process the grieving process any better. Just like this example, the important part is to figure out where they are emotionally, and go from there using appropriately gentle rhetoric. I feel that the same kind of goes for any example where we'd deal with someone going through cognitive dissonance all the way to attempting to communicate to those who've fallen for a cult.

[@superclaymaster]

@@john.premose it’s impossible to beat the stupid out of people or the intelligence in. No change can come about until they start to open their minds.

[@damonm3]

@@cuckoophendula8211 well said. And compassion is much more effective that frustration. Someone in my family once said to tolerate is his goal with things that frustrate him about people close to him..I thought about it and came to the conclusion that understanding would be a much better end goal. Maybe he understands this and still came to toleration after trying to understand. Not sure, I’ll have to ask… but treating peoples issues as “they feel lost something and are grieving” is a good approach, much better than “these people are stupid and just don’t get it, and never will”. Even though the second is probably much closer to reality 😂🍻

[@teresaBhere]

My family immigrated from Poland in 1972. Boys got the pink sheets and girls the blue. Could never convince my mother she was buying the wrong colors here in America for shower gifts.

[@celiashen5490]

My 97-yr-old grandmother tells me that pink is for newlywed households.

[@taiwanjohn]

They're just old fashioned. Like, _really_ old fashioned... pink for boys & blue for girls was the standard in the late 1800s and early 1900s.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

@@taiwanjohn Boys also used to wear dresses and long hair. Look up the childhood photos of FDR.

[@maryanneslater9675]

For centuries red was the power colour. Partly because a really good natural red dye was tricky or expensive. So it was traditional to put little boys in dilute red, aka pink. Blue was the traditional colour for the robes of the Virgin Mary, so little girls got blue. For dress up clothes at least -- most children, especially poorer kids, would have run around in yellow or light brown, because those dyes are easy and cheap.

[@rosecreeper4353]

That - is a cool fact.

[@RealRyanFlynn]

“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.“ - Marcus Aurelius

[@Almugavar]

Oh man, time to read Meditations again:)

[@himoffthequakeroatbox4320]

"And if you can' t be a good man, spout some nonsense about lobsters." -- Jordan Peterson

[@RealRyanFlynn]

@@himoffthequakeroatbox4320 yeah, sounds about right 😆

[@RealRyanFlynn]

@@Almugavar I know, me too! 😁

[@Almugavar]

@@himoffthequakeroatbox4320 Right, because heirarchies and stuff lol

[@jediping]

I think of Bob Ross, who had been in the military and yet, when he fully embraced who he was, not only studied the arts and animals, but also shared his love of these things with others. That sort of authentic happiness is, I think, even more what I remember from watching him on PBS as a kid. My family was never authentic and generally not happy, but here was this guy doing things seen as less masculine (art and teaching) and being happy and content and glad to show off the work of his students and share their joy as well. If men can only be men if they do certain things or act a certain way, we lose out on so much. And I say this as a woman who often feels like I’m on the wrong side of the line of acceptable female behaviors. I have always like things seen as more “masculine,” and I’d definitely end up on the wrong end of one of the anti-trans bills if I was still a kid, even though I’m comfortable with my own gender as a woman. (Internalized misogyny aside, anyway.) These imaginary lines are so pointless. It robs you of nothing if someone else is over that line.

[@neliusbresnan3766]

Happy little clouds ❤️👌🏻

[@TheDoomSheep]

Feel the same about Mr Rogers. Good male role models were and are all around but for whatever reason being an authentically good person isn't "masculine" to some people.

[@flor9389]

You remind me of myself. I LOVE Bob Ross and football.

[@neliusbresnan3766]

It's hard to believe that he was ever a Full Metal Jacket style drill sergeant. But he was And he didn't like being that person. So after he left he changed to being the man he wanted to be. Soldiers who knew him couldn't believe he was the same man. "Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him."

[@pumaconcolor2855]

"They accept a lot of peer pressure from dead people" 🤣

[@glnnchrstphr9717]

"Stop worrying about what a good human being is, just be one." Words I have always tried to live by. Sure, when I was just a kid hanging around with the guys, I saw how a few of them would have to be more alpha than everyone else. They would always jump from the highest rocks into the quarry. Drink the most alcohol. Be the biggest bully. Even then, I knew I wasn't the type of person to engage in those ridiculous antics. I wasn't brought up that way. (Thanks, mom.) She always told me to be the best person I could be, no matter what I chose to do with my life.

[@ladywolfwolf]

A bully is a small, mean spirited coward. If you think that aleader is the one who has to belittle others to make themselves feel good, then you are no leader. You are a coward and no one will breed with you by choice because we don't need these undesirable traits in the human species.

[@TheFlutecart]

It's a quote by an ancient Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius from his journal, Meditations. Excellent book, if you like that quote, Meditations is full of them. Highly recommend.

[@gracebellamy586]

It sounds like your Mother raised a good son. Well done! 😊

[@boffo63]

@@TheFlutecart Incredible book!! I need to read it some more.

[@josephpenderson613]

“But those people over there are doing things that make me uncomfortable! I have to make them stop so I can keep my fantasy of being in control!”

[@graydanerasmussen4071]

Nailed it!

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

I just repainted my nails. I think I heard an alpha male's head explode.

[@Esmesalinger]

"Stop worrying about what a good man is and just be one". Amen Beau. Amen.

[@lindenshaw1986]

I was able to add three words to the obituary that my siblings wrote for my dad. Gentle and generous.

[@danmiller7568]

As always, words of common sense wisdom. Stay strong in your eloquence.

[@basecoat1966]

You can tell by the intro and his grin when Beau finds the topic amusing or absurd.

[@briansmutti]

🙂7th

[@timbren7874]

11 mins late, what's wrong with me!

[@Phenomental1ty]

@@timbren7874 right? 🤣 same here

[@maneatingbunny1]

My favorite

[@ProctorsGamble]

But George was right side up so pay attention

[@nateweaver3324]

In the immortal words of RuPaul: “We're born naked, and the rest is drag.” I'd take that a step further and say that nearly everyone is a little trans. We all learn how to fit into certain boxes and change our behavior accordingly.

[@lisadodson2271]

Oh Nate I love that SOOOOOO much!

[@philspd473]

I'm curious, have you watched RuPaul's show?

[@DavidRichardson153]

I see that as an extension/variant of an old Ron White joke: "We're all gay. It's just to what extent are you gay." If you don't already know his joke, it is fairly easy to look it up.

[@The_Opinion_of_Matt]

I expect we all fall somewhere on a bell curve. The people that are legitimately one specific way are the extreme minority. Edit because phone keyboards suck.

[@davidpeaston8443]

That's called being adaptive. Let trans be trans in all of its beauty and definition all on its on. There is a such thing as differences. So let's be aware of all of them. Similar but not alike.

[@victoriasimpson6808]

Suberb! This applies to women too. I have been told I think, or act like a man. Usually it means I've made some man uncomfortable!

[@daisyelmir1289]

🎯👍🌼 spot on.

[@krejados1]

Former maintenance tech, here. Usually the only female on the team. I can't tell you how many times it was recommended that I dumb myself down so the guys don't feel too embarrassed.

[@SaddleInTheRain]

Here's another way it applies to women. I've had women tell me that I need to dumb myself down (not in those words, necessarily, but that's what they're saying) because I come off as "too smart and too opinionated, with too strong a personality and that's threatening to men." Sadly, too many women have bought into this nonsense, and they don't even realize it!

[@daisyelmir1289]

@@SaddleInTheRain THANK YOU. Exactly what happened to me too. Nice to know that we're not alone.👍🌼

[@lindarockafellow5058]

Back in the 60s my father said the same thing to me. It seems to be so threatening to men(not real men). Sad

[@roccorock997]

The Alpha/Beta Male Scale being described as men expressing their gender on a spectrum and is a social construct is sending me. And to think I only thought it was zodiac for men. Bravo, Beau.

[@keving454]

I have told each of my children, several times, that you can learn something from everyone even if it is what not to do.

[@Grim_Beard]

"If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning." ~ Catherine Aird (probably).

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

I can't comment on male classification in any details because I'm a woman and a lot of time the whole male thing doesn't make sense to me. I will say if a man I'm interested in identifies himself as an alpha male, I'm out of there. I know at that exact moment we are not going to get along..

[@brianmccollaum5489]

And the “bro” culture REFUSES to recognize that most women look at their misogynistic behavior and instantly are repulsed.

[@katieking8830]

And Republican

[@anitraahrens905]

@@katieking8830 You're "spot-on" about that! They're very easy to identify.

[@jessestreet2549]

@@katieking8830 guy here. too old and set in my ways for dating but these days i "interview" new people i slip in a political question or two. if the answers "feel" maga the interview is over and that person is forever an acquaintance, at best.

[@itgetter9]

Anyone who insists on calling themselves an "alpha" male is telling me 2 things: 1) they actually consider themselves a "beta" and will willingly submit to anyone they consider an "alpha" (which is a dangerous trait); 2) they will enact brutality on others in order to try to prove themselves in the eye of the alpha they are actually trying to impress (an even more dangerous trait). You are right to leave the scene when these weak, scared men start to pound their chests to please the abusive male voice inside their own heads.

[@private15]

My Dad was a strong opinionated person. But he was kind and made me feel safe and loved. And encouraged me to do whatever I wanted to do and be. He was a gentleman and he worked hard and never let anyone push him around. But he didn’t push others either and wouldn’t let anyone else be bullied. I wish he was still with us but I’m glad he can’t see the bad things people are doing to other people.

[@priscillarobb647]

What you said reminded me with my late father. Now, I missed him dearly even though I am 74 old lady.

[@edbangor9163]

Your dad sounds like the non-toxic version of what alpha males should be. Confident, but not arrogant. Doesn't pick a fight, but doesn't let the vulnerable get picked on either. What's funny is that those are the behaviors that we typically want to see exemplified in comic book heroes. Someone like Superman. Clark Kent is incredibly mild-mannered. He doesn't seek out confrontations. But if anyone thinks that Superman isn't Alpha as hell, they don't understand what the word is supposed to mean

[@gracebellamy586]

@Pri Vate I wish my father had been like yours.

[@intercat4907]

Yep. mine was from the same mold, from the same generation probably. I miss most, the standard of being a "gentleman".

[@MattyJ55046]

Wow that would have been a way I described mine. He died 7 years ago at 59. I’m gay and in his eye no less “Manly” bc of the things I was taught growing up.

[@lisadodson2271]

Not being male, and too old to be interested in dating, I have followed this arc with amusement. Don't get me wrong I'm sure it's helpful, I have benefited hugely from your videos on how to talk to your maga relatives

[@elenavaccaro339]

Same here. Sort of feel sorry for the women having to deal with them.

[@cathysmith997]

I'm with you, Lisa! Firmly in my 60s and thrilled to be a spectator -- never dating again, guaranteed! 🤣

[@voltijuice8576]

​@@slow-adhesiveness-4933 - There are many different traditions and standards of masculinity. It could be that internalizing some of them contribute to lonliness. Also, lonliness is more of a problem population-wide, as normalizing selfishness yields a culture of isolated and alienated people who are easier to exploit.

[@erikjohnson9075]

@@slow-adhesiveness-4933 congratulations on missing the entire point. Maybe instead of externalizing blame for rejection look inside and find out why you are being rejected and fix it. Improve yourself. Learn, adapt and thrive. Stay stagnant and fail. It's natures way of saying your genes are not fit to be carried on to the next generation.

[@FirebreathXIII]

​@@slow-adhesiveness-4933 I find interesting how you're framing your argument that "male loneliness" and "male sexlessness" is because of "women rejection", as if companionship and intercourse is something men deserved from women. If I wasn't so cynical, I'd think that you're trying to demonstrate to the class the exact behaviours that push women away from that so-called 30% [citation needed] of lonely males.

[@justsomedudeyouknow8372]

There was a guy at my work that quit recently. he was definitely an alpha type. He was complaining one day about a work position he was doing, calling it "women's work" (breaking down boxes and general cleanup of the warehouse)and in the same breath complained how a woman that was doing a different position(organizing and building pallets to be sent out on trucks, and she was killin it)was doing a "man's job" and he should be doing that and her doing cleanup. He was very vocal in his complaining. When my supervisor heard about this a little later he went to find the guy to let him know that kind of talk and attitude was not welcome at this company, and that if he wanted to keep his job he will act accordingly and professionally. A little later i see the alpha walking off the job pissed off and swearing about how a woman just cost him his job(even though he made the decision to be riled up about being corrected about his behavior). Men like this are little boys mad about wanting to play with the toy some other kid is enjoying. They are small, weak, emotion controlled drama queens. Our society would be better without them.

[@I_report_scammers_spammers]

When a man starts bellowing about how "alpha" he is, I know he's absolutely a zeta. With a Z, as in the last letter of the alphabet in English.

[@dorothysmith7289]

I taught a graduate school course, "Cross Cultural Aspects of Psychology" at a university in San Francisco. We discussed male and female the way you did. My shorthand was "Sex is the parts, gender is in the mind". Lightbulbs went on and the discussions were much easier for my multi-everything students!

[@anitraahrens905]

As someone who doesn't like the fraternity/sorority scene, Beau's message needs to heard on every university/college campus.

[@heideleskun1163]

My folks would dress my brother and I or my kids in whatever fit that we had in the house. If my mom had my oldest daughters' clothes and my son messed up his shirt/pants she'd dress him in it if it fit. My folks were born in 1922 and 1928. When you grow up in the depression you use what you have and you don't care the color.

[@jonpalmer450]

I tried to get that through to my niece (married, 3 kids, low income) when she wanted to go out and buy a new booster seat for her 3rd child (a boy) when he outgrew his baby seat, even though there was a perfectly good booster that the middle child (a girl) didn't need any longer. I told her that it was wasting money, and that they had better uses for what money they had. She said, "He can't use that, it's for a girl!!" She was acting like it was solid pink with "girlie" graphics. When in reality, it was solid black--with the exception of a thin decorative pink stripe on the backrest and seat. I said, "One, it is in the back seat of a car with tinted windows, so nobody would even be able to see it unless the door was hanging open. Two, the pink isn't even visible when he is sitting in the seat because he is sitting on it!!" So, she held off on buying another one for a few months. But she didn't throw the pink-striped one away. It just became the booster other family members used in their cars if they were taking him places. He ended up using it frequently all the way up to growing/aging out of it.

[@mysteryexplorer556]

Saw a documentary on TV once about how I believe it was Macy's that started the whole color thing, blue for boys and pinks for girls. Did you know, originally, pink, was for boys.

[@Snowshowslow]

Yeah I had hand-me-downs from boys as well (my brother and other boys). And we are trying to buy very little new things for our kiddo-to-be, for environmental and financial reasons. I will say, though, that when I got to school and was still wearing veeeery "masculine" clothes I did get bullied quite a bit. Morally, that's on the bullies and their parents, but I will watch out for it, cause it's not really worth traumatizing your kid, IMO.

[@marjoriekaye9336]

I definitely noticed when the toy aisles got more gender-stratified (80's?). Good for marketing projections, bad for kids.

[@scottkirby8204]

As a tangential thought, something I learned from going to AA meetings with my wife... What other people think about you is really none of your business: it's best to not let other people's opinions prevent you from being the authentic version of yourself.

[@jimbob-robob]

Nice if it were true. But Repuglicans base whole swathes of anecdotally contrived nasty policies on misperceptions of the poor, jobless, homeless, race foreign or left wing etc etc etc... They force it to be our business...

[@knowlanrandza9081]

Until they start writing legislation that will cause someone to have to move to another state to survive. THEN what they think very much matters.

[@scottkirby8204]

@@knowlanrandza9081 What I was thinking about was one's own attitude toward others. I think you missed the point of the quote. From Beau: Stop worrying about what other people think a good person is... and be one.

[@scottkirby8204]

@@jimbob-robob I've read your comment a half dozen times and I believe you missed the point of Beau's post, and the point of my comment. Just be the best version of yourself and stop obsessing over what other's think of you.

[@jimbob-robob]

@Scott Kirby Nice if it were true. But Repuglicans base whole swathes of anecdotally contrived nasty policies on misperceptions of the poor, jobless, homeless, race foreign or left wing etc etc etc... They force it to be our business...

[@selocke5352]

. My 85 year old husband of over 50 years and I were discussing this subject this morning. I commented that he had proved his masculinity by doing everything he could to make our family and the world in general a better place and had sacrificed to send our daughter to college and that he had never tried to force me to do or not do anything. His smart a-- reply? "I guess I f---ed up." I choked on my tea until I thought I might need medical help. worrying about the "box" another person is in is a waste of your energy and can be cruel as hell to others.

[@eric2500]

Why worry? I like your approach better - you two, that is- sincerity and frightful jokes!

[@sunshine3914]

Just my six decades of experience: never met a conservative, in all my years in Texas who were able to grasp the concept of irony. Nor have I met any conservative men who did not want to be secretly dominated.

[@ladywolfwolf]

The wealthier they were the more they wanted to be dominated. Don't ask me how I know. Tee hee.

[@Vohlfied]

@@ladywolfwolf -How do you know?- "Hey, got any interesting anecdotes you'd be willing to share?"

[@roxannaweaver2155]

I get to be 73 next year. I have lived my life under some horrific conditions but I have never capitulated to what other people expect of me. I believe that we all have 2 sides - male/female. Whichever one I need in any situation is the one I call on. I have found that it is the people who are not comfortable within their own skin that raise the most hell about what someone else is saying, dressing like, doing for a living, etc. I also know that there are only 4 things that we as individuals have any control over: our own words, actions, feelings, thoughts. We are the ones that create what the world around us looks like. Most people see the world from a spectrum of fear of some kind. I chose to see it with awe and wonder. It is a magnificent world with a plethora of wonderful people inhabiting it. P.S. My mother's favorite saying was: When you start paying my bills and providing for all my needs, then you can tell me what to do. Until then - shut up.

[@ladywolfwolf]

I agree with everything you said except, you may ask, but you will not tell me what to do

[@deborahdanhauer8525]

I like your philosophy. I’ve lived my life much the same.❤️🤗🐝

[@GoodJuju.8D]

"I get to be 75 years old..." I love that! Most people don't look at age like that. Someone said something like... Enjoy your birthday, it's a privilege denied by many. I don't remember the exact wording, but I love the meaning. You've helped reinspire me to look at my age like a gift instead of a plague. Thank you! 🤍

[@lucgruffaz7750]

Well spoken !

[@SavageGreywolf]

I've been obsessed with wolves since a young age. I quickly learned, while reading about them, that the alpha/beta/omega/greek alphabet soup (I'm intentionally drawing on their own scoffing rhetoric here) was complete bunk. What's _really_ interesting about wolves is the _real_ pack dynamic, and how similar it is to _another_ pack animal... the most common composition (but NOT the only one) of the wolf pack is that of a male and female breeding pair... and their children. Occasionally, wolf packs are formed with two female parents, or two males, or several other permutations, but the important thing is that the social dynamics of a pack are quite similar to the social dynamics of those of another animal- the human. For the record, the greek alphabet soup folks do, in fact, have a human analogue too: a bunch of strangers in confinement, wary of each other and of looking weak... it's a prison gang.

[@antonnurwald5700]

Underrated comment

[@antonnurwald5700]

Serious question: what happens when the kids are old enough to breed themselves? How does genetic mixing occur?

[@Kenisbarbie]

@@antonnurwald5700 the young are chased by the pack leader hence lone wolf or they form there own packs

[@antonnurwald5700]

@@Kenisbarbie thanks, fascinating. Both genders equally? And is there knowledge how many manage to Form their own pack and how many stay alone?

[@KOZMOuvBORG]

As the study group was a collection of strangers rather than family, behaved more like a reality show (presenting façades rather than being realistic).

[@dalimadison7553]

I teach a women's studies class. We had just been discussing the differences in the male/female experience of dating when you started this arc. Yesterday, I showed them the last few related videos to them. It generated some valuable discussion. 💜

[@unclegumbald989]

“They accept a lot of pressure from dead people” I’m howling 🤣

[@stevengreen11]

I literally did the leo meme where I pointed at my TV when you said the Marcus Aurelius quote. Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.

[@ScytheNoire]

I was curious when this whole "alpha male" crap started and found a great article on the New York magazine website titled "How America Became Infatuated With a Cartoonish Idea of ‘Alpha Males’" It's written in 2016, when The Orange Clown was popular on social media, but provides a great history lesson. Highly recommend it.

[@ryanweible9090]

in a way its just "type a personality" from the 80's, a self congratulatory badge for wall street bros to try and justify their outsized influence in society by pretending they have some innate superior traits. it may as well be gryffendores and huffelpuffs. or dungeons and dragons alignments. (lawful good dragonborn paladin, by the way :D )

[@paulgrieger8182]

Blue for boys and pink for girls did not become a "thing" until the late 40's. My father was born in 1920, and there are pictures of him with long curls, and wearing a kind of pinafore. This was common from the 1880s through the 1930s.

[@wartgin]

Yup. I remember someone had made a comment (think it was anthropology) about boys being dressed like girls up until they were "breeched" (moved to pants) and and another researcher responded that no, it was women being dressed like children. Of course mostly it was functional clothing given the restrictions on women and the necessary caregiving for children.

[@alisak8118]

Exactly. Prior to WWII, light blue was considered a girls color and light red aka pink was considered a boys color. Red was considered masculine thus boys would use a lighter version. You can see this reflected in early Disney films.

[@bernardkung7306]

@@alisak8118 I gather it depended a lot on which catalogue you ordered your children's clothes out of. One Catalogue company (Sears Roebuck?) used pink for girls clothes and blue for boys; the other major catalogue company used orange for girls and pink for boys. In short, it was totally arbitrary and historical happenstance.

[@wcoasttigger]

The only response I have after listening to this is, I love you. You are a good person. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[@tenofivelips]

Don't ya just. 🩷

[@appliedmaps]

Greek letters are the new astrological signs.

[@cassiusdhami9215]

This talk of "manliness" has always been strange to me. By chance I am a loud, big, tall and hairy guy. I've always gravitated to "traditionally masculine" things like sports and the outdoors. (Not that I saw them as "traditionally manly"!) The strange part to me is that I have always been equally drawn to things considered to be equally "feminine" by "tradition" (according to Chuds). Things like fashion/hairstyles, working with kids, and cooking. (Although again, I never saw them as "feminine"!) My mom has always been one of my best friends, we golf together 3 times a week, and my sister is the person whose strength I most respect and admire. Never once did I consider the gendered implications of these things. "Masculinity" is just a vague, nebulous, ever evolving costruct that has changed its "traditions" and "definitions" a thousand times over. (See what the Founding Fathers wore, or how Jesus hung with his boys!🤣Both would be considered feminine today.) At best its just a catch all phrase to describe what dudes are up to at a given time and place. Nothing to get your knickers in a knot over. If you are a dude (by birth or by identity) then inherently, by definition, what you do is "manly". Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 😊

[@gido9467]

That last bit is like the bedrock of the entire situation. Whatever someone does, or wears, or says; if they’re a man then those things are manly. If they’re a woman, then the things they do, wear, say, etc. are womanly. I once had a coworker ask me why I wear, “women’s bracelets” (gifts from my wife). I borrowed a bit of logic from Eddie Izzard, and replied, “I’m not. They’re my bracelets, and I’m a man, therefor they’re men’s bracelets.” Fortunately he wasn’t trying to be disrespectful, and seemed to just be genuinely curious, so that answer sufficed.

[@jackieknits61]

​@gido9467 it's like people calling the hair buns worn by men man buns. They wear them for the same reasons this woman does, I'm sure. It keeps my long hair out of the way and neat. There is nothing about wearing your hair one way or another specific to any particular gender. We all have hair (mostly) and nothing but social constructs that says certain styles are limited by gender. And those social constructs have been changing based on time and culture as long as there have been humans.

[@janaiburnett9766]

I wish more people would read SAPIENS A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. It is a master illustration of how everything in our societal construct is literally made up. Thanks Beau, you are awesome.

[@scottrmc59]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/epO1lY2KhZqrjrc

[@starr234]

Thank you! I will check out that book.

[@byecatsstacey7467]

Right? It is all societal constructs and our "othering" people for harm based on those constructs has been some of the worst behavior history has shown of 'humanity' across time.

[@JM-zg2jg]

I forgot about that book. Thanks for the reminder. I’m gonna dig my kindle out and give it another read.

[@AlanBerman]

Fantastic book which should be on every school curriculum.

[@kenbrown2808]

I am reminded of a college roommate of mine who went into ballet. asked him what got him into it, and he said, "I was the only boy in the class."

[@jessestreet2549]

my dad was a hairdresser and a good one. he told me i should consider becoming one. i was into more "manly" things and ignored him. years later i saw the movie Shampoo. should have listened to dad.

[@john.premose]

Meaning what?

[@antiquegirl6505]

I saw 2 guys gang-up on the guy that was in a ballet class in our college....it was truly heart warming to watch him, literally "kick their asses" before his friends could jump in to help him. We did help to detain them until the security officers came to collect them & take statements. Nobody should think that a guy who leaps several feet into the air, or holds women over his head, is less than very athletic.

[@kenbrown2808]

@@john.premose meaning, he spent his time hanging out and dancing with girls.

[@ak5659]

@@antiquegirl6505 I know, right? I just feel like I'm missing something about the whole silly trope. I can't figure out how guys with bulging muscles are feminine. If you're going to apply outdated stereotypes, at least do it in a way that makes some sense, lol.

[@chrisannegalvez4449]

Thank you for your "just a thought" today! As a 68 year old lesbian trying to understand all the pronouns and categories of maleness, this really helped. I will do my part now in accepting my unwillingness to understand and be better about it. Thanks again!👍👌✌️

[@Mythraen]

Please do not accept your unwillingness to understand.

[@SteveBrant55]

Thank you, Beau. We spend way too much time thinking about how other people "should" be (and then trying to force them to be that way) and way too little time thinking about what "being a good person is" and living that life. Given how many Americans claim to be followers of Christ, "Love thy neighbor" is a value way too many of those people are failing to live up to!

[@billyryan2519]

Thanks Beau my teenage boys were talking about this subject with me the other day, when they get home showing them this video.

[@lisabrown7959]

Thank you for explaining, without dehumanizing… anyone.💗

[@Truffle85]

I like 'peer pressure from dead people,' it's an elegant way of explaining tradition. And yeah, it can mess with you. I wouldn't wear pink until I was well into adulthood because I thought it was for girly-girls. (And I'm female, btw.)

[@morebirdsandroses]

Yeah. Female also but always had the ick feeling about pink. I was reformed in part by the gay friend who gifted me a pink art deco lamp he knew I couldn't resist. 😂 Smarty pants that he was!

[@jackrabbit11]

Understanding this set of terms are simply boxes designed to stick people into is very liberating. They helped me realize how much easier it is to accept people without judgy labels.

[@charliemoody7168]

They’re also boxes for the “alphas” & “sigmas” to stand on

[@nirestrunk4923]

I started to happy-cry when I figured out where Beau was going with this. I wasn't really sure where he stood on transgender stuff. Now I do. 💙

[@debrabiderman4275]

Seriously the best men I have ever met never concerned themselves with where they stood on anyone's scale..

[@darthmeticulous6901]

Screw that scale. It does NOTHING useful, only creates a slew of unnecessary issues and conflicts. I rejected it years ago and find I’m more at home with myself than I ever was. “Do what is right for you, not what society thinks you should.” The only code I believe one should truely follow.

[@edalder2000]

Beau, this tone and presentation reminds me so much of Mr. Rogers. I was raised in the 80's by Boomer parents, so I got much of the gender role indoctrination. I was an affectionate child and was told bluntly that boys never hugged other boys, like my dad, at all! Ever! Ironically, a few years later, I realized that I was gay. I have had to fight my own internalized homophobia for many years thanks to the folks who push what Beau is describing.

[@aurorastarfury]

This aspect of American culture impacts hetero guys, too. As a boy, I used to hug and kiss *everybody*. As I got older, I realized I was straight, but still wanted to hug my friends. Unfortunately, due to culture and social constructs, I had to stop hugging most of my male friends.

[@morebirdsandroses]

I find plenty of nonsense in my own life about identity. Just wanted to say, good job and best to you in your journey. 🌼🌈🦋

[@jamesguptill6611]

I'm a guy, raised a family, have been a career commercial diver and then the last end of my career a tugboat Capt. All high risk, masculine driven careers. I look at the alpha male, gold chain, silly beard tough guys as stupid idiots. These guys think that appearance is masculinity. Actions are what counts. I treat women like the wonderful creatures they are, with respect and love. A well balanced man can express his nature in the soft caring ways and still personify masculinity. Balance. It's actually how the classic masculine personality exists in history and the real world.

[@Almugavar]

This former oilfield roughneck and crab fisherman agrees 100%

[@soniaprovard8259]

It is such a refreshingly wonderful thing to read your comment and be reminded there are so many good men in this country!! Even in our current divisive country!! It’s so depressing to hear of people being the victims of hate crimes every single day!! As a woman, a mother, a grandmother & sister I want to thank you for so eloquently saying how you cherish & respect women and can love all our brothers and sisters!! God Bless you & yours and Thank You, again.🦋

[@jamesguptill6611]

@@soniaprovard8259 thank you. Best of fortunes to you and yours.

[@pattyolsson]

Thank you Beau for being such a wonderful role model for some of these men, especially those wondering who they are 🫶

[@redroo689]

What!? "A Spectrum!" you say! Like, like a rainbow! Splutter! Splutter! *hyperventilates* and faints! No! Wait!

[@candacejacallen4813]

In the 70s when my kids were born in Alaska there was a lot more acceptance of gender diversity than there is now despite the fact that there were defined gender roles. How the roles were implemented was up to the individual. There were some who were less accepting of the diversity but that has always been no matter where you are. The politicization of gender is an aberration in history.

[@RustyStringz]

That whole classification system is a construct built to define a "pecking order" according to masculine traits as defined by those who use such things to determine whether or not they "stack up" to someone else's ideals. Like you said, just be the best person you can be, and stop worrying about whether or not you measure up to some false equivalent. All of the cool cars, fine cigars and expensive trinkets in the world won't change who you are inside. You define your masculinity, not the other way around.

[@mcsmith732]

In the immortal words of John Lennon: "One thing you can't hide is when you're crippled inside."

[@adammetzger4182]

Ever notice how people how try to categorize people into a hierarchy tend to place themselves at the top?

[@dexteromaa1086]

Humanity in a nutshell

[@presentfuture7563]

I'm an AlphaBits female. Bring back classic breakfast cereals!

[@joiedevivre2005]

Beau's expression 100% says "I can't believe I have to explain this AGAIN".

[@carlyar5281]

3:01 the point where I laughed out loud and hit the like button as hard as I could. 😂 Beau rocks!

[@dreamerchrysalis]

I am an ASMAB (assigned sigma male at birth) and I'm now transitioning to be an alpha woman. I'm a trans alpha. Thanks for the video Beau, it's one of the best instance of an Uno reverse card I've seen yet 😁

[@tarvoc746]

Congratulations! 😀

[@mobuildsstuff]

ASMAB - I tried to google that phrase, but got nothing helpfull. Could you explain the meaning?

[@dreamerchrysalis]

@@mobuildsstuff It's only a play on the term AMAB which means assigned male at birth. Look between the parenthesis and you will find the meaning ;)

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

I jokingly refer to myself as a phi male, because phi resembles the symbol for the null set, and I'm nonbinary agender.

[@dreamerchrysalis]

@@FrozEnbyWolf150 Nice

[@ryanb974]

Boys needs labels, men don’t. If you have to tell people you’re the best, you are not.

[@NicdeGroot]

A wise person knows they are not wise - A cool person doesn't give a shit what you think is cool. ;-P

[@catm5889]

@@NicdeGroot I’m always leery when someone is described as being “cool”. They are usually the most boring people I’ve ever met. I want the self described geeks, nerd, socially awkward who remind me that there is more to life than making other people happy with their labels.

[@meh.7539]

I cannot wait for the email responses to this one.

[@safe-keeper1042]

🍿

[@Ironraven001]

Spoiler alert. They'll be full of insults specifying where Beau falls on their made up male gender spectrum chart 😆 🤣 😂 only further proving his point.

[@profelisa1]

I can already hear arguments from family members in my head.

[@timothy8428]

I thought it was a system for measuring the quantity of douche in the bag.

[@Lamont1818]

I am not concerned with people being different. As long as they are good neighbors, who really cares, and why?

[@Dantyx1]

I am a lambada male. I dominate the dance floor.

[@timnewman1172]

Love it!

[@obviousalias9506]

I see what you did there! 😄

[@wartgin]

And I've always considered that a very attractive quality. (Think most women do.)

[@cageybee1154]

Remember when people said doing the lambada could get you pregnant?

[@wocookie2277]

Been around awhile and Beau is right, be a good person. I’m an enigma to these people who see the need to classify. I’m a cook by trade, women’s work. But I did it for 24 years in the military and I’m quite proficient with small arms. I can turn on my senior NCO glare and voice to rival any alpha, then decorate a birthday cake. A man is a person, and self confidence isn’t false bravado. Take it from an old guy who’s been married 30 years, just be yourself and be a respectful responsible person, some one to love. Like Skynyrd said be a simple man.

[@markrenfrow9873]

Be something you love and understand.

[@firequeen2194]

Love this! When I make baby blankets, I only use yellow and green. I’ve been doing that for years. I remind friends and family all the time that you have no idea what they’ll be at maturity. 🙂

[@louannkyle602]

My woke response is other peoples lives are none of my business

[@JWRogersPS]

I have a friend who wants to make "alpha" into a pejorative for an obnoxious male. I, for one, fully support this.

[@brianmccollaum5489]

They generate their own terms because emotionally secure people see through their arguments. So they try and confuse the issues.

[@briansmutti]

🙂5th

[@maxsmart9116]

@@lancecarter1888 No he didn't. He described the right.

[@crawkn]

Concerning the pale blue vs pale red (pink) gender appropriateness question, for those who doubt the subjective and arbitrary nature of the current standard, prior to its effective establishment, there were debates about color-sex associations and some believed pink was a natural match for males, primarily because of the association of red dyes with princely royalty. Pink has not always had an identity distinct from red, and in fact many languages have no separate word for pink.

[@NicdeGroot]

Pink to engage and empower girls ... blue to make boys calm the f*(k down. Lol

[@Marewig]

Yep. Pink was literally just 'light red' in many other languages. Red was a masculine colour due to its identification with blood. In Asia red is identified with the hot, 'yang' part of vitality as opposed to the cooler and more feminine 'yin'.

[@crawkn]

@@Marewig interesting

[@merrily08]

Could it also be true that if pink has no separate identity, that it has been assigned to females for the same reason? Just a thought

[@Marewig]

@@crawkn It's really fascinating to see financial news in Chinese--when stock prices are going up, they're coded red (red, as in 'absolutely lit', I guess), and when it's going down, it's coloured green. Same with finance apps. It's one of those little details that I realised to have grown out of the same outlook. Heck one of my friends had confirmed that back when they were in kindergarten in China, the boys were the ones with light red stuff, and the girls with light blue.

[@FreddieVee]

When I was in JHS back in the late 1950s, i got into a debate with one of my teachers and I proposed that if 100 new born infants were taken to a remote island with 100 sets of parents and each parent acted out their spouse's gender role, we would wind up with 100 adults who would be exactly opposite of the stereotypical adult of the 50s.

[@extendoduck]

That sounds correct. I grew up in a family which didn't especially care about gender roles. My dad did 90% of the cooking and cleaning, my mom was the primary earner (though both had jobs) etc. They each did the things that made them the happiest, and it showed. I'm solidly in the middle of stereotypical gender roles as a result, and I'm quite happy to be that way 😃

[@quacks2much]

My bi-sexual grandaughter called me yesterday and was very upset that over 200 Republicans voted to outlaw gay marriage.

[@jcwoodman5285]

As a kid I saw nothing odd about my GI Joe rolling heavy in my sister's barbie pink corvette... But I remember vividly the neighbor kid going absolutely ballistic! He was 8'ish...he got that response from somebody.

[@erinmac4750]

I had G I Joe and Barbie rolling in a Tonka Jeep! Those were the days! It drives me crazy that they've doubled down on gendered toys, but even crazier that we're fighting a backlash against progress made over the last 20-50 years. The fascism sickness spreads again. I wish there was a vaccine to stop it.

[@kevincrosby6270]

Peace Brother. Love this! We must remember that Donald Trump bullied the Republican nominees with name calling which made him seem 'strong'. Doubling down on his mistakes made some see him as an alpha. Seems those with toxic masculinity issues should take notes from the men they try to categorize. #SmashillusionsandGrabfacts

[@ladywolfwolf]

The name calling by trump made it seem like he was in the second grade.

[@elmersglue6259]

@@ladywolfwolf his temper tantrums seen to back that up.

[@gracebellamy586]

Strong to whom? The eternal 2nd grader? Humpty Trumpty always seemed to me like a bully on a playground who never grew up. And his doubling down on his constant, never-ending mistakes and name-calling made him seem like a STUPID bully who never grew up. And it turned out, I was right!

[@MaskedSongbird]

@@ladywolfwolf Having met some pretty well-behaved 2nd graders, I'd say that the comparison is probably insulting to second graders. The dude behaves more like a three-year-old.

[@jenniferhunter4074]

You can see this in various other species as well. It's a "projection of dominance". When animals get scared, you can see that they puff up. We have this.. our goosebumps. If we had fur, we'd have puffed up and looked bigger so that the predator things we're too much trouble to hunt. With humans, we add in the layer of deliberate lying and social rituals. (think of it like when you go for a fancy dining experience and you have ten billion forks and spoons. You don't really need that much cutlery. It's a social game to help identify the outsiders. The insiders know which fork to pick up. The outsiders will betray themselves as not part of the group the moment they pick up the wrong fork. ) It's a lot of social posturing and it happens all the time in other mammalian social species. The problem is that, conservatives can't process the deeper layer. I would use the analogy of a Seurat painting. This painter didn't use swipes and dabs. He painted by dots. They're quite lovely paintings. The conservative would notice the dots but not see the painting. That's a problem because then, the conservative doesn't see the system that ensures that these dots (data points) are forming a product. Why should humans be able to see the deeper meaning? It's because our species can deliberately lie. I can say the nicest things with a smile and, internally, I'm cursing you out. How can the other person tell? or, say I made something and my husband doesn't want to hurt my feelings, so he says a "white lie"? So our species is constantly looking for proof that the other person isn't lying. Usually, we resolve to actions because actions exist and are measurable. Don't tell me you like me and you then, vote for policies to reduce my rights and increase my danger in society. Don't tell me you're a Muslim if you don't observe prayers towards Mecca. Don't tell me your a Christian if you aren't turning the other cheek. The thing that Donald Trump did is very chimp like. No wonder that conservatives like this kind of bravo posturing. This doesn't work so well on the left because we do see more than dots and we all have a more analytical style of seeing the world. That's why we can deconstruct things and ask "Why can't boys wear pink?" we can step outside and ask those questions whereas for a conservative, the lines matter very very much. Humans are very similar to chimps. The difference is that we can self-evaluate and think on a far higher level. So we can override some of our instincts because we understand some abstract information. We're a species that self-domesticated ourselves .. much like cats. nobody taught us to fetch or do anything. We created language. We created dances. We created art. We created our homes. Our conceptual abilities and analytical abilities are the most deadly asset of humanity. This is why our species, without fangs, fur, muscle, poison, tolerance to extreme environments... we're still the apex predator. It's strange. The only thing I really fear are microscopic creatures such as bacteria and viruses. Even there, with vaccines and medical therapies, it's a controlled concern. See. I can connect the dots between virus to disease to wearing mask and getting vaccinated. The ability to make probabilistic models is a very human trait. This is why I'm constantly befuddled by how conservatives are surprised. I blame the social conditioning/genetics that drives us to empathize with what looks like us. Then, conservatives project their darkest desires on the left and I keep on getting disappointed by how animalistic conservatives are. And yes, this extraordinary sequence of events with Trump and Covid have made me question whether conservatives are as human as non-conservatives. At this point, I consider them defective humans. They're like humans who can say the letters of the alphabet but they cannot use words. There is a fundamental gap. Teaching of critical reasoning and thinking would narrow the gap and de-handicap their intellectual limitations to an extent.

[@laurabrawner9072]

All I can say….Perfection!!! Once again, you nailed it!! Why do some people believe it’s their right/responsibility to dictate the rules/boxes THAT males/females MUST live, or be labeled“wrong”, “bad”, “evil”, “sick”, “unstable”….STOP

[@cmh6122]

So glad my father was cool with mom being an equal partner.

[@ladywolfwolf]

As it should be. For the good of the species.

[@sdovas]

Aha! "IF you're paying attention!!!" Good luck with that, Beau, the Distraction Machibe is working in overdrive. Nice Wizard of Oz reference at the top, btw.

[@Vincent13997]

I’ve seen so called “Alpha” males break several times in combat when confronting the enemy. I worry more about the small, quiet guy than the loud, big, self proclaimed bass-ass. That quiet, mousy guy will kick your butt.

[@allanmalloy8266]

I have almost always dismissed this entire idea of male hierarchies - specifically the one you're speaking on. You're blowing my damn mind noodle wide open, Beau.

[@BeauoftheFifthColumn]

I mean the way they classify things is worthy of dismissal, but the concept they're laying out...

[@allanmalloy8266]

Exactly, when you step back and look at it as it actually is... The glove fits.

[@calliope6085]

If I were to choose a simple source to identify myself as straight manly, not sure I would choose the Greek alphabet.

[@erinmac4750]

Good point. ✌️😎🍀

[@wanderingsoulenterprises5564]

“Stop worrying about what a good person is and be one.” 👍🏻

[@liztewliztew]

Pink for girls and blue for boys is almost like when parents put headbands and/or bows on the heads of their infant to make it obvious they their infant is a girl. Infant also get funny looking (yet cute) pigtails which further tells the world that the infant is “female”.

[@davidgarland7736]

Awesome video Sir. I had a great role model in my Dad, he was a scientist on the world stage and at his memorial I learned a story about him I'd never heard. There was a failed scientific project that needed to happen. When they asked the participants what was needed, they asked my Dad to head it up. He agreed, only on the condition his name never appear, it wasn't his work so he shouldn't share credit. Dad was a scientist, a wilderness guide, and a leader. He would have laughed and walked away had anyone questioned his "manliness". To him, a good person lifts others up, they don't seek reasons to knock people down. As I have commented before on other channels, diversity is our species strength, not its weakness. Celebrate diversity.

[@ninamo3523]

It's an excellent way to identify creeps everyone I love and care about wants to avoid.

[@windwalker5765]

I always love seeing Beau get set to make a point. It's like a train crash, you can see it coming, but you can't stop it...

[@denisecorzette1676]

✌️ Beau Pink was originally meant for boys.

[@briansmutti]

🤗 ♾️

[@brianmccollaum5489]

And trying to explain that to “bro” culture victims gets a bunch of blank stares.

[@Abderian]

When your desire for hierarchy is so strong that it undermines the hierarchy you want to enforce with state and vigilante violence.

[@eoinc9511]

When you are a trained fighter, killer, soldier……… the last thing on your mind is “acting tough”