The Key to Feeling Truly Known and Loved |

[@jsjoel2]

I’m trying to decide if having my introvert wife talk for 15 minutes or me listening that long is going to be more difficult. Seriously though, I brought it up to her and she was the one that said that about herself. I think my inability to listen is very connected to my reactivity and has contributed to her unwillingness (not inability) to talk. This was very helpful and I want to learn how to train myself to listen to her better. I love how you made it about connection. Thanks again for your ministry.

[@BecomeNew]

This is so honest, and so true of many of us spouses. I'm happy it was helpful. I hope you both have a wonderful Christmas. - Brad

[@marybethkling9805]

I love (although it will be difficult for me!) the process of waiting a few days to switch roles. It slows down or eliminates the reactivity, or maybe puts it into perspective. The reality is listening doesn't need a response from me. A lesson I need to learn! Thank you!

[@BecomeNew]

Listening is so powerful Mary - yes it slows us down and engage Be Blessed Bucky

[@tracykamemoto4602]

Oh wow!! Thank you Rick and John! This was powerful!🙏❤️

[@BecomeNew]

You are welcome Tracy we are grateful for Rick to share his insights and experiences with us - it helps us all grow. Blessings Bucky

[@DianeGordy]

I’m REALLY grateful for this episode today! Thank you for such practical & helpful input as we gather with our families & friends for Christmas!

[@BecomeNew]

Glad it was helpful Diane - may you have a peace and loving Christmas as you gather with your friends and family We are grateful for you Bucky

[@ticalisa]

Great discussion & so appreciate it. I get so triggered in conversations & will apply this to listen better & stay quiet.

[@BecomeNew]

Glad it was helpful - be still and engage in listening is a powerful transformative experience Be well Bucky

[@terriwerning3477]

This was awesome. I took notes! I’m anxious to try this with my husband. So thankful for these gems everyday.

[@BecomeNew]

Terri we appreciate you being with us and we too are anxious to hear how it goes with you and your husband. Listening, to know and being known is a transformative gift for our relationships. May it bless you both Bucky

[@gaylejones3760]

Wha a great dialogue message .we need this now. Thanks do much.

[@BecomeNew]

Glad you liked it Gayle - it is a practice we all can be better at Thanks for sharing Bucky

[@jlheidbreder]

Being a retired counselor, if there is such a creature, your program today is so needed. My husband's mom just passed this morning, about 7:15cst. My gifts will be tested, soon. Thank you guys🙏🏻⚘️🕊

[@BecomeNew]

We are so deeply sorry to hear of your husband's mother journey to Jesus' arms - may you find peace and comfort during this difficult season Our thoughts and prayers are with us Bucky

[@jlheidbreder]

@BecomeNew I'm so thankful God lead me to BecomeNew🙏🏻🕊⚘️

[@RoseExieDavis]

Thank you John & Rick ! !

[@BecomeNew]

You are most welcome Rose - thank you for being part of our Become New Community Bucky

[@kellypatton1261]

Rejoice Can’t Wait to try this with my wife. Love you guys

[@BecomeNew]

Good luck Kelly - may your relationship with you and your wife be blessed abundantly Bucky

[@daniellemeadows8291]

❤

[@BecomeNew]

Thank you for always being present with us Danielle - Blessings Bucky

[@patriciacalvache8635]

This is so great for family & friends too!

[@BecomeNew]

Totally great for family and friends Patricia - feel free to share We appreciate you being with us We are grateful Bucky

[@patriciacalvache8635]

@BecomeNew , Thank you! I share on my Facebook page & email to a few people!

[@andreefontenot8035]

Thank you! This is quite timely for me.

[@BecomeNew]

Glad it was helpful Andree - we appreciate you being with us on our Advent journey together Bucky

[@annatiarec]

Excellent! Thank you for such great content that is so practical on so many levels! Merry Christmas!

[@BecomeNew]

Merry Christmas to you, Anna! - Brad

[@johnnysantiago2691]

Amen 🙏🏾

[@BecomeNew]

And Amen!! Have a blessed day Johnny Bucky

[@lvshope]

15/5 great insights on listening skills. Receptivity

[@BecomeNew]

It's always nice seeing your comments. :) I hope you have a Merry Christmas! - Brad

[@lindapavkov791]

Great message- thank you for asking how that can be applied in our knowing God and being known by Him.

[@BecomeNew]

You are so welcome Linda - knowing God and being know - So beautiful to meditate and reflect on Bucky

[@vinoo1946]

Hi John, This format of discussion is terrific.. It becomes more personal without being too intrusive. The silent periods are for pondering, analysing and reacting ....Non-Verbal communication, if you like...A very useful tool when dealing with complex issues... I loved it... Took a great deal from this discussion...Thanks for all the nuances that I am gleaning... It is still dodgy here in UK weather wise...Today, Dull , grey, cold winds and no Christmas Cheer apart from your podcast..... As always, Thanks for all that you all do...Arnold. (UK).🙂🤕🙏💅

[@BecomeNew]

Arnold, I'm in Virginia and it's currently cold, foggy, rainy, and your note has brought me Christmas cheer! :) Thanks for sharing with us. - Brad

[@JeanneCorrigan-ej4le]

Thank you John and Rick ! Will practice this with my dearest oldest friend coming for Christmas. We have talked and listened to each other on the phone over the years for thousands of hours I imagine and have gotten the hang of it, sort of. I’m way better at talking than listening !! God bless you ❤️

[@BecomeNew]

Jeanne so glad you enjoyed Dr. Rick - may it bless you and your dearest friend abundantly this Christmas season and always Bucky

[@thomasmallen5803]

Interesting research and perspective. It's funny thinking about Zachariah while listening to the Dr. I would love to hear about a control group that didn't say anything to each other but showed up for 15 minutes. Then, about a group that showed up and listened for 15 minutes but didn't take notes. Then, compare it to this group that showed up for 15 minutes, listened, and took notes. Then, a group that didn't bring it up a week later compared to a group that did bring it up a week later. Zachariah really had to go through all these steps for the time he was waiting for JTB to be born.

[@BecomeNew]

Good idea, Thomas. He really did go through the steps as he waited. Merry Christmas! - Brad

[@darinsloan1454]

So good! Thx! I think this will be so good for me. Realizing I’m way more reactive than I would’ve guessed. Can’t wait to do this work:). I would love to hear more. I have a couple of questions:). B/N continues to be such an encouragement and amazing resource for me. Thanks guys!! You too Dr. Rick- you’ve never laid eyes on me, but I feel like you’re family:) Blessings:)

[@BecomeNew]

We love these notes, Darin. Become New really has become a family. - Brad

[@SusanConway-c2z]

Such a great lesson in reactivity, unfortunately one of my gifts. Thank you!

[@BecomeNew]

Glad you enjoyed the lesson Susan - we are grateful for you joining us Bucky

[@Julie-gv9xe]

Interesting. Hey, have you ever thought about doing a weekly podcast? I like the daily thoughts, because they are available in short bursts. I think you would be very successful with a longer podcast as well.

[@BecomeNew]

Thanks for the suggestion Julie - I will definitely pass it along Thanks for sharing your day with us Bucky

[@mommorkus]

I’m wondering if part of listening to God could be reading Scripture? At some point could Dr Rick apply this to one’s connecting to one’s self? Thank you all!!

[@BecomeNew]

Thanks mommorkus for the suggestion - it will certainly be passed on - thanks for sharing Bucky

[@halwhitman7230]

Are there parameters to what the sharer is talking about? Is it only in relationship to the other person or could it be how you felt about random daily matters?

[@gaylejones3760]

I need to save this and share this with my husband. Did your guest have his ideas n a book?

[@BecomeNew]

Gayle sharing with your husband is a great idea - Dr. Rick was sharing his past experiences - Bucky

[@godscara]

Isn’t reactive a responding to what someone says? Why is this negative.

[@lisarichardson2243]

I think for a lot of us being “slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19) requires that we train ourselves, with God’s help of course, to respond to ppl in a way that maintains dignity - often in our initial reactions, that line can be easily crossed. This exercise allows time to think before we speak which to me seems to be the difference.