becoming charismatic is easy, actually

Maybe it's all about putting in actual effort!? -- To read full guides to books like "The Charisma Myth," and more, join me on Shortform! shortform.com/.... With this link, you'll get a 5-day free trial, and you'll save 20% on the annual subscription! Pretty nice if you ask me.
the new community tab: / discord

[@easyactually]

Instead of binge-watching KZbin to learn about charisma, I found books a lot more helpful. So, here's a link to Shortform, a desktop/mobile app that'll let you read full guides to pretty much any non-fiction book you want. shortform.com/easyactually. With this link, you'll get a 5-day free trial, and you'll save 20% on the annual subscription! Totally worth it if you want to read more.

[@someguyontubeyou3956]

First

[@MikailStewart]

Second I guess?

[@GeGeglazer]

ah yes, 2 weeks ago

[@jillian2666]

Tuah x tuah = my spot

[@jillian2666]

⁠@@GeGeglazerfirst reply and yes tuah wks ago

[@justoniascool9410]

My issue as of late with socializing hasn't been that I can't do it, it's that it feels less like a "natural" action and more like a game of strategy, which has helped me gain much socially, but I just wish I could talk to people genuinely without having to worry so much about what comes out of my mouth.

[@LunaLuxBlade]

I feel that with my social anxiety, it's hard to have fun well having a conversation ):

[@waccness449]

All takes time. As long as you are making progress, that's what matters. You won't always have to think about it so much

[@jillian2666]

Just get used to talking to people like do that with (someone that you know like a family member or friends basically anyone who’s free anytime) and say whatever thing thats on your mind and train so its more easier the more you do it the more natural it becomes

[@gonzoss3998]

This is how I feel when I talk to women

[@mikamlsv]

You could go somewhere without any expectations or pressure to gain anything-like a vacation. It’s interesting how, in those moments, I can be completely myself, knowing I’ll likely never see that person again.

[@samsamsamsamsim]

attitude: make them feel good, not bad - give genuine compliments - have banter - ask about their interests, listen, and be genuinely curious - speak with your actions

[@romlegend1515]

"To really get people to want to be around you, you can't be just a polite background NPC" I needed to hear this🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥🔥 TYSM!!

[@RISHABH-vt9mq]

This is literally me, I can't really banter with people it just comes out as an insult and I have to think so hard about what I have to say so I have started to not say anything, becoming more of the polite nonexistent/NPC

[@saikiki]

SAME TT it feels sm like im in the sidelines irl like just agreeing to what they say which even resulted in me thinking that i dont even have any opinions of mine left :/

[@stay1564]

You have to be main character shit 🔥

[@whippy3954]

Shit like Detroit become human or smth

[@UnbridledResolve]

be the polite side character

[@EvanH2000]

So to expand on the point at 5:20, you want to compliment people not about their qualities, but about their choices. Decisions someone makes are indicative of their character, and the approval of someone else on a choice they made about themselves is validating. Compliments about someone's physical qualities aren't nearly as good, unless it's clear they clearly worked hard to achieve it

[@Люциус]

Yes, agree with you, and it's kinda weird/awkward, "Wow, you have such a muscular body!" "Uh... Ok... Thanks, I guess". There's simply no good answer to that compliment. "You too" is a good choise too, but it wouldn't feel genuine.

[@56independent]

i'm autistic so when i made a friend who was willing to mentor me i was blown away by how well it works to use social wizadry, and seeing you so openly talk about this as it is instead of calling it "manipulation" makes me so happy

[@AAAAAA-qs1bv]

I'd say the difference between manipulation and social wizardry is that the intent is not to control them, but to instead make them happy.

[@zenostrixster]

I beleive social wizardry is all about having a win win situation in your head. The intent matters and your effect aswell. It's not ingenuine unless you try too hard like complementing (by force) or helping when you don't want to help. As an ambivert I'm not into being friends with most people so it would be ingenuine for me to do these when I don't even care for them but if I do like that person than a lot of this will be natural and it will be useful

[@HugeMitch]

Well-socialized people with autism can have very powerful social skills. You will see and pay attention to things in social settings that others don't. You'll have unique insights and one-liners that nobody else will think of. Sometimes, you say something so unexpected that it makes everyone laugh. It's all about being comfortable in your own skin, and owning your autism (without necessarily advertising it) can be very powerful.

[@56independent]

Omg thank you all so much for your insight and tips, i feel so much more confident rn, especially when i broke up with a twink i charmed because we were too different to continue - i see it all as signs of positive change

[@tinabean713]

@@HugeMitch Yeah, my son doesn't talk much, but he can be so funny when he does

[@TonyIceCream]

this channel is great at taking 12 hour youtube rabbit holes and condensing them into 10 minute videos

[@JimmyHimself]

taking 12 hour youtube rabbit holes and condensing them into 10 minute video is easy, actually

[@crmiii]

400 page book condensed into 12 hour KZbin video condensed into 10 min vid. The best

[@HereComesThe-Sun]

I recommend chadcat

[@Nostolic]

That banter thing is what I lack. I am a polite background npc. Never heard a video get my situation so right. I am scared of offending. “I can see clearly now the rain is gone.”

[@cbot9302]

I had great banter when I was a kid, but at some point I started going too far and pushed all my friends away. I realized that and switched to the opposite side of the spectrum, but now I basically never allow myself to think of funny quips anymore... It's probably the hardest aspect of social life that I have to deal with tbh.

[@elcie04]

​@cbot9302 Me too! I started getting mean in middle school because I thought I was just making lighthearted jokes, and lost all of my friends. Now I'm 20, and I haven't had friends since because I don't know how to "banter"without being mean so I'm just quiet.

[@jonathancobb3522]

@@cbot9302 I can relate to this, my social skill points depleted at some point when i got older

[@yuh3-kz4qv]

Same

[@Lol-tr6cu]

​@@cbot9302same

[@debrachambers1304]

"you can't just start insulting people" DAMN IT!

[@gkount_]

0:35 Idk why some people brushed over this, this realization really made my eyes open on why when i was 5-15 i was actin far more spontaneously without any huge backlash and was very good with social skills and people and after 16 when i moved to a stricter school i actually started to lose my social skills and be more reserved since i didn't wanna cause any trouble. That's insane that i didn't discover that much earlier so could solve the problem at its root and maybe i would be far more social again by now. Imagine to how many kids this has happened as well, a problem that covid has accelerated too.

[@deathgod5324]

Legit same im never talking in class, i dont go to the back of the class where the cool kids talk, i just sit in front and wait for someone to start a convo with me so anyone else notices me. I hate it but i cant change it for some reason

[@schlorbster]

6:03 banter can definetly go too far, having a friend that‘s just constantly mean is exhausting

[@Video_crumbs]

Ok softy

[@zekiz774]

Yeah you should also never mock things you know the other person is insecure about. There is a difference between playful teasing and making fun of them

[@GeorgeG-is6ov]

@@Video_crumbs 2/10 ragebait

[@AAAAAA-qs1bv]

@@GeorgeG-is6ov but also 8/10 banter if said obviously ironically.

[@AxisCorpsRep]

@@zekiz774 and then there's people who do both, who are further isolated yet do not realize because "everyone else laughed"

[@ozzi9816]

One thing that's tough about making friends as an adult is a lot of the time it feels like people are afraid to open up. I ask what someone's interests are and they give generic wishy washy or really curt answers that are hard to expand on, I ask if they wanna hang out and they say they're busy, I ask for help with something and they reply they've got something else going on or don't want to... there's also a lot of people that seem allergic to having one on one interactions. You ask if you can hang out and they say "you can join the group chat" or "we can hang out at a party" or something, almost like they're afraid to make deeper connections with someone. Not to mention people who are "introverted" which basically means they don't want to socialize with anyone 90% of the time and find it actively bothersome when people try to be friends with them. Finding well adjusted people that aren't a giant headache to have a friendship with is getting harder with every passing year it feels like...

[@RickyNurbu]

Thisssssssssss

[@tricklebug]

as an introvert, i do fear people to an extent. i tend to second guess people's intentions & what they might truly think about me beneath the smile. that being said i still crave deeper connections and can be very talkative when comfortable i think sometimes it just takes finding the right people & setting. i see extroverts act as if they're long time friends after just meeting & i wish i could be even half as enthusiastic and open 😭

[@SlR-]

You just gotta take it slow. You get those answers at the beginning, then as you get closer, their answers start to get more honest and more real. A common example is finding out someone likes anime or reading fantasy books. They won’t tell you at the start, but if they start to feel more comfortable, you’ll find that stuff out.

[@genghiskhan4263]

Whats even worse is when person w is social and talkative most of the time with others but when you talk to that same person he gives one worded answers and kills the convo

[@Lol-tr6cu]

literally bro nowadays literally nobody wants to talk

[@frog7863]

I did not expect a how to rizz video

[@jillian2666]

Instantly thought of “You know me as the rizzler im the panther dressed in black”

[@Lu-db1uf]

Just as long as you do it in private and wash your hands afterwards

[@soallenque]

But we've all been waiting hahaha

[@SimGunther]

We're all just a bunch of story tellers validating our own place in the universe and sometimes, validating others and their place in the universe is all we need to be "charismatic".

[@Lol-tr6cu]

wow, insightful

[@ManuelRamcanny]

So, basically. Step 1. Don't overthink what you are going to say before speak. Step 2. There is this cluster of things you should consider before speaking.

[@0animeenjlyer]

Getting a good uploading schedule is easy, actually Edit: Thank you guys so much for the likes

[@jillian2666]

👍

[@Is_it_actually]

Nth is wrong with he's uploading schedule

[@pochocho8225]

Good banter

[@O-ka-mi]

I think that choosing what topic we need and also how to deliver it in a way that convice us that it is Easy, Actually..

[@amritasrivastav2764]

@@O-ka-mi shut

[@Wallfter]

Genuinely, this is the only stick figure channel I'll watch just cause you consistently make great stuff. There's never anything half-baked, and I always take something interesting out of it.

[@morendin8872]

Straight to the point, no bs, even have a small summary at the end. You earned yourself a subscriber right here

[@Xavier-951]

Saying "that's my favorite skin colour" as a compliment is wild 😂 5:47

[@unlegendarywolf]

Nothing wrong with liking the right colors more

[@soundscape26]

@@unlegendarywolf Thing is there's no right or wrong colours

[@catboy2405]

​@@unlegendarywolfThere's no such thing as "right colors" on a human being. You come off as heavily discriminatory.

[@AAAAAA-qs1bv]

@@soundscape26 idk man, it might just be me but I don't think blue or green are very 'right' skin colors

[@soundscape26]

@@AAAAAA-qs1bv They are not skin colours at all

[@AldrinFortades]

can you do hiding a body?

[@jillian2666]

🔥

[@jillian2666]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@yellowtitan6040]

YES ^^^ and preferably ASAP 🙏

[@EducationalArchive-pz4ee]

How did you know my hidden talent???

[@_justnick]

i'm guessing the video didn't work

[@LeventK]

Also, you should like people, just because they are humans and be interested in them, just because they are humans. I'm not talking about humanism, like an actual interest in people. If you don't do that, you will never be geniune.

[@nxb00]

how to like people

[@deutschermichel5807]

​@@nxb00 Step 1: realise you hate people Step 2: remember that God told you to love people as you love yourself (Step 2,5: realise you hate yourself) Step 3: remember that God told you that every human is created in the image of God and deserves love and dignity Step 4: actually develop the habit and mindset of loving strangers, not only your friends, and assume the best about them as far as your intuition allows.

[@ellililo]

@@nxb00 i would say notice when you hear people say/do something sweet or funny. Notice people who fight for justice etc. Also some people can have the same interests as you and when you notice that it’s really cool and you might get interested in that person. (these are some of the instances when i feel like i really like people)

[@solarisNT-v4j]

@deutschermichel5807 sure

[@deutschermichel5807]

@solarisNT-v4j 👍✨

[@milktea9686]

I read the title wrong, so I really thought I was going to watch a video about becoming christmas.

[@hydroshibatheseal]

Totally did not expect the "Bongcloud" chess meme to be a part of a "how to rizz" video, this dude is such a man of culture

[@TH3G3N3S1S]

i feel like i can actually banter, give compliments, listening, but just taking the first step and finding something to talk about is so weird and feels very unnatural to me. Its hard to bridge that gap

[@Faun471]

Speak your mind, but do make sure it's something both parties know about My go-to for strangers is the weather outside, my go-to for classmates were about deadlines and my go-to for friend of a friend is how they met our mutual As the video says tho, you need to be genuinely interested in hearing *their* thoughts. Do it so often it becomes natural to you xD

[@Fantastic_Mr_Fox]

Dude yelled *'get him'* in low caps

[@thegunn7526]

making an insult just because it’s too good to pass up is so real

[@Kobble8]

I really think a video on, not being socially awkward is easy actually would be so perfect

[@djkramnik1]

thank you for that awesome coffee opener you share around the middle of the vid.. will definitely trying that around the coffee machine. And I think you can easily swap in a watercooler variation of this

[@wapnicawapnica9745]

i somehow naturally did all of those things (maybe because im pathetic people-pleaser) my whole life. i realised it only at the age of 23-24 that not everyone communicate like this with random people, but the craziest discovery was that boys and men really arent used to get any compliments at all, so they will carry the valuable memory of someone saying "nice t-shirt" throw their lives. three or four boys from my school said to me that they remember hearing a compliment from me and still one of the most important memories from school. and compliments were not that great, one guy just literally overheared me reffering to him as "the pretty one", we are good friends till these days

[@bungercolumbus]

6:45 this made me scream internally

[@Thomas-ot5ei]

"Oh okay, Pablo Escobar!" ... "Get him!" 😂😂

[@hmoadhajali]

I’m really appreciating how you take big and complex concepts and make them digestible. One of my favourite videos is the one about waking up at 4:30 am. It’s been really life changing. Thanks for all the effort you put into your videos.

[@pancatime]

Thank you, I love how simple and entertaining your videos are. Keep it up ;D

[@CP4521]

2:56 bro skipped all leg days

[@juanjosevillegas1682]

the coffee conversation scene was great hahaha

[@OnlyAPlayer_]

Everytime he posts our lives improve

[@jillian2666]

Real bro

[@HyImHARSH]

But you look depressed

[@MagnumSpydyrIN]

i knew it, i freaking knew there was gonna be a pressure washer mention!

[@EducationalArchive-pz4ee]

The timing of this video is too perfect for me. I literally just getting into charisma lately and even looking researches about it (but my searching skills sucks and I don't find much)

[@jadencrasta4914]

Basically - *Basics* 1. Say people’s names 2. Smile - Think - “How can I make this person feel good?” *Being Authentic* Do NOT be overly nice (i.e. obviously fake) - 1. Give genuine compliments 2. Banter - joke about small things, mostly about their strengths *Above & Beyond* - 1. Ask people about their interests, & listen to them talk. Be genuinely interested. 2. Mention their accomplishments that they are proud of.

[@RotishaTamang]

Love the way you explained it in a simple way, Thank you :)

[@BollyBibby]

"that's my favorite skin color" is sending me 😭💀

[@vwzm27]

came for charisma pointers, left with chess tips. great work!

[@realbobbyaxel]

really amazing video. Bro keep making more and more videos for social skills that actually work. atleast a 5 part series or something. I love your easy actually because, it only has stuff in them that actually works without the BS

[@waluigihentailover6926]

1:25 Holy carp. I get it now. You make an excellent point.

[@nathanaelzee9627]

That example of banter with the guy driving had me rofl 😂

[@gabrielromero6652]

bro coffee conversation killed me bro 😭😭 I’ve gone through convos like this so many times

[@mrklaus6232]

I have a friend who you could say is charismatic and I see him try those tactics on me. While I don't dislike him, I have trouble getting along with him outside of our social circle. I can see it pains him, maybe because he's not used to people not going to him, but I am not having a really good time when I hang out with him. I don't consider myself interesting or really fun to be around so it's really weird for me to have him try so hard. Like everyone, I would like to be charismatic and make friends easily but it's really hard for me to fake amusement. I mean why should I actively make an effort to have a bad time when I can just hang with people I find more fun ? At first I really tried to look past it and just do my best to appreciate him but the more time spent with him, the less I spend with others. And seeing that I can't genuinely appreciate his company, it really feels like a waste. People like him make me fear becoming charismatic because I might make other people feel what I'm feeling without knowing.

[@AAAAAA-qs1bv]

You're in luck, because you aren't supposed to be faking amusement. This is all just something that helps you express to others how you genuinely feel.

[@FeloCoptic]

That would be easy if I wasn't stupidly oversensitive

[@windws7137]

Real

[@TheSkibidiSlicer]

Easy actually, I genuinely love your content and it helps so much. Thank you!

[@jillian2666]

Yeah literally now you have to remember the vid and apply it to your actual life and actually practice also bond over something you like also bonus point i think

[@Gersberms]

@7:19 It starts off so relatable, but that joke is funny.

[@NepaleseMapper]

"thats my favourite skin colour!" is insane LMAO

[@schlorbster]

perssure washing lore evolves

[@simarpreetsingh7235]

Dude casually dropping one of the best & precise personality guide

[@wh90b]

You jokingly touched on it, but I want to drive home that when complimenting people whom you don't know very well, please don't comment on their body or other things that are out of their control. Compliment them on their style or other conscious decisions and actions they're making, and be specific.

[@WiseThinkingVideo]

This is the kind of creativity that deserves to be on Netflix!

[@jlfern2882]

I was the kid that drew in a corner of the classroom. Becoming charismatic and liked was one of the easiest things i ever did and did not give me an ounce of real happinesses... just opened my eyes to so many things.

[@jlfern2882]

If you think this is gonna help you wait till you find out that you just have to be yourself

[@bukilus]

A social tool you can use is good. If you want to do something and you can't use this social tools is sucks. But best thing is developing, not being developed or about to develop.

[@Habsterssss]

I won’t even lie, at 3:00, I rolled off my bed at the “legs are to scale”

[@Eluzv]

If your struggling with social skills I’m literally begging you to read “how to win friends and influence people” it will quite literally change your life if u follow its steps

[@nqxybtw8268]

1:00 what is social Interaction ? Never done it.

[@ritikachauhan1363]

😂😂

[@YeviCoulson]

(ngl I'm pretty sure it's the result of a sci-fi device like "particle acceleration" from particle accelerators. So whatever a social interactor is ¯⁠\⁠(⁠°⁠_⁠o⁠)⁠/⁠¯. But hey that's just a rock reply)

[@tharun410]

1. Compliment 2. Banter 3. Question about their interests Got it. What did you have for lunch on last Friday?

[@gdstar6917]

I ate your cat

[@sikns7771]

Woah woah leave some for us dude

[@Monoskilled]

Your ip address

[@mineonlydiamonds]

Human food

[@Darth_Bateman]

Too far away. Ask them what spot they want to have for lunch on Saturday.

[@anNiE-hi8yd]

bro has lasagña arms 1:24

[@cowmation3934]

As a homeschooler, I have good social skills with my parents and my brother, but with other people it all goes out of the window. I’ll definitely try out the advice in this video, there’s a lot of new information i’m seeing here, thanks for sharing!

[@youtubeviewer4127]

"Thats my favourite skin color" is funny

[@winterwolf211]

I'm trying to develop a secure attachment style, I think I'm almost there, and I'm working on becoming a better person. I've been told I'm a kind person, maybe because I try to compliment others more, and if they do something I appreciate I would say it aloud. I also try not to badmouth people even if I've been wronged. I think I've gone over to 'too nice' and now I'm boring. Banter is very hard for me, I used to be very frank and accidentally insult people so I ended up being a quiet NPC. But I think what helped make friends is that I would give small gifts to show them that I listened or thought of them.

[@Mike_Ehrmantraut]

5:48 that's the problem though. I can never see the best in someone and for some reason I focus on their worst aspects as I do on my own. It's a terrible habit because I can see myself in them

[@astrotist25]

Just say the opposite of their negative aspects

[@kaijuno]

Banter part is super useful!! Thank you ❤

[@Quail101]

Exactly and accurately perfectly timed right when I was looking for something like this

[@Friezje]

One thing i have noticed that works really well for making friends specifically is to also share something personal. The feeling of "oh he/she is willing to share or do this with me" makes them thinks of you as a friend instead of an acquaintance. Many people are way too private. Dont tell your whole personal life in the first 10 minutes of the conversation though.

[@Michelangelo-tm7zj]

I've been trying this a lot, and it is easy, actually. Its a matter of practice, requires the practice that i avoided at highschool, but here we go, 25 y.o and learning, is going better than expected :) Thank you my friend!

[@MartianAmbassador69]

Your videos always pressure wash my depression away 😊

[@mevlutcan2731]

Thanks for making my life better with these videos mann you're a king

[@peanutbutter4978]

We need one on drawing and art is easy actually.

[@backkslashhh]

i woke up 5 minutes ago and I read the title as "becoming a chiropractic is easy, actually" and was confused when you started talking about social skills

[@falsehoodintensifies445]

My problem is that I moved abroad with a language I'm still not confident in. I used to be more extroverted and so so talkative but when I can't express myself I have to be a smile and nod NPC

[@Raining4k]

Bro, at this point this man has helped me become my ideal self.

[@arin.000]

i need another one bro you have no idea how bad i am at this i need moreeee

[@FG13531]

5:20 hey it’s shoeonhead

[@KittKierahFalknerBabbel]

My favourite channel. Would have been life changing if i had this when i was younger 👏♥️

[@abcdefgh5808]

ok but when he does the Bongcloud, he actually can't lomg-castle later. no wonder the guy is 350

[@TheBigmanC05]

Posting a comment under the correct video is easy, actually.

[@Smallpriest]

Good point

[@abcdefgh5808]

@@TheBigmanC05 watch the video carefully and you know what I talk about. 8:55

[@JANICKGMO_]

making wrong assumptions is easy, actually

[@TheBigmanC05]

@@abcdefgh5808oh shit, your right. Also how can he play knight g3 on the second move?

[@sepiro7647]

Dude, i like your voice, and i love your videos ❤ This is the true content on YT.

[@youokboi8556]

Idk how to socially interact, I have no irl friends but recently I've been managing to talk to people in discord server VCs . The issue is I just really want real interaction, I want to be able to see the person I'm talking to and oh my god I feel awful

[@iceink5274]

7:58 I believe this is the most important frame in the whole video; def what I’ve had work in the past

[@soloveletters]

7:14 "get him" 😑

[@schlorbster]

so… the weather

[@MilánBoros-h4k]

In nuthshell every thing is easy but the majority of people stuggle to achieve it

[@楊學翰-m5i]

9:04 I would love to see you demonstrate the Bongcloud with long castle XD

[@kalpanaanubhav]

Next, a guide to being humourous is easy, actually

[@Ssebastianang]

Bro idk who you r but coming to this channel changed my life holy crap

[@clumpybaker]

the funny thing about charisma is that people who have it don't know they have it

[@kendallrackley1308]

I feel like a part of being authentic is also saying things that are immediately on your mind and not thinking too long about them. Like I tend to overthink before I give a response but usually in doing this I try to tamper it to make it less offensive. Like if someone did something funny/slightly embarrassing I will gloss over it to not make them feel bad, but other people will point it out immediately and it becomes a big joke.

[@HamzaSmajic-no6ss]

your vids are so good I cant wait for the next one

[@flakes404]

For some reason my dyslexic ahh read the title as "becoming Christmas is easy, actually"

[@vqinet3287]

“I am become Christmas”

[@BurnaBwoi]

Shoutout to the Maya Angelou quote

[@AwesomeBrixx]

"that's my favorite skin color" is crazy

[@anaheim869]

wow this feels like one of the fastest growing channels on youtube

[@HenryShoemaker-be4dd]

The only thing I’ve learned from this videos is that explaining things to people who don’t know any better is easy actually

[@NoeleVeerod]

The banter part is clearly where I’m lacking. I’m just scared that I’ll say the wrong thing and basically end up a social outcast, or worse.

[@aslv]

pressure washer needs to be in the channel banner

[@jillian2666]

Thank you i needed this 😭 I have no social skills

[@kalcua]

I literally lost a friend and I think it was beacuse we lost that banter, we were starting to be very formal and each time we talked less, we always ended up on the safe topics to talk about. I wish this video had come to me sooner.😢