Being an Instagram Model Hasn't Helped with Dating | Lovers & Friends Podcast Ep. 79

According to the PEW research center about 41% of people between the ages of 18 to 29 are single. For people aged 30 to 49 that number drops dramatically to 23% and then it raises back up a scotch to 28% for those between 50 to 64, before increasing again to 36% for the 65+ crowd. So what does this tell us? My interpretation? On one hand, it tells the story of millennials' decline in divorce rates and on the other the fact that it showcases our increase in being consciously single for a lot longer than previous generations and in some cases, for the long haul. So can you still enjoy dating even if none of the dates go anywhere? In this episode, I sit down with Qimmah Russo, an influencer, model and athlete and she shares her perspective on this.
Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.
Get 55% off your Babbel subscription- by going to:
www.babbel.com...
Try America’s #1 Meal Kit and get 50% off plus free shipping by going to:
www.hellofresh...
Try Ritual for yourself and get 20% off your first month by going to:
ritual.com/lovers
Follow the guests on this episode:
/ qimmahrusso
/ workoutsbyqimmah
Follow Shan
/ shanboodram
/ shanboody
/ @loversandfriendspodcast
[e-mail]

[@Christine4321_]

I love how secure Shan is! It shows and I'm wildly impressed.

[@prettyladdiee2261]

Shan makes such consistent eye contact. I love these conversations

[@katiecruz2060]

I hope Shan has a podcast forever. I feel like she will always be apart of every chapter of life.

[@lupitarosales5420]

I loved that story (taking out a pay day loan to take a girl out) when Jared told it on his podcast and it’s HILARIOUS that this is her. LOVE a full circle moment. Amazing conversation though!super amazing follow up Kamie. I have a lot of friends who are in that position (single and over 30) and it feels like people will only talk about dating in your 30s once they’ve found someone but rarely when they are in the reality of it

[@Momdrogynous]

Great episode Shan! We’re living in a revolution the more women embrace being single as a healthier choice than ‘settling’ for the sake of being in a relationship. As women continue to de-center men it could revolutionize how we experience life. Prioritizing ourselves and our communities are the answer to combat feelings of loneliness that can come with extended periods of singleness. Successful partnership with men is one way for some to have an abundant life…but when you know self and have a healthy community, a man is not that big a deal. Qimmah’s story is the 5th one I’ve heard in 3 days about her partner feeling inadequate, borderline jealous, because of her success. The experience is not local. I love seeing women wake up.

[@AyaNichelle-gi9cd]

"Prioritizing ourselves and our communities are the answer to combat feelings of loneliness that can come with extended periods of singleness." ❣️

[@ToniMaharani]

This interview very much gave, “You are Beyoncé.” “Thank you.” 😂 I’m not mad at it.♥️I enjoyed the way your different brands of confidence presented themselves during the entire dialogue. I respect the multifaceted insight and entertainment I love the way you interface with people, Shan. You do so with such ease and charming brilliance. Great video

[@Lue.cooks1]

From a married mans perspective: I honestly cannot sit still when I hear what women are after and how simple it is, but EGOs, misunderstanding, and lack of grace/space to grow exist in most avenues of relationships these days and it baffles me. Life should be so simple.

[@trae8353]

I’m 35 and single and right before my 35 birthday, I started feeling so much pressure to be partnered. I’ve always wanted to find my life partner and have been a hopeful romantic since my teens and have remained positive throughout the different relationships, but now I’m tired and just want to get it right. I would like to allow things to naturally happen. I think wanting to have a family is creating the pressure.

[@fadeline]

same here im 33 and battling

[@sunvavachi]

I feel ya. I gave up wanting kids. Turning 36 soon and feel like I want to just enjoy life now rather than be hounded down with a child. But I hope you get what you want. Finding people who want to commit is hard.

[@trae8353]

@@sunvavachi It seems like you found peace with it, glad to hear.

[@trae8353]

@@fadeline Thank you for sharing, sometimes it feels like it’s just you.

[@fadeline]

@@trae8353 Definitely not. I had to take time to heal and return to myself. I use to be so loving but now it feel all men want is my body. Makes me sad but I am ready to jump back out there and try again.

[@catierollins8493]

She sound like she wants to have some fun with y’all 😂

[@roxywyndham]

The look on her face said it all 😏😭😂🤣

[@kiannajolenee]

Lol

[@sunvavachi]

I think she was just genuinely asking.

[@bombbaby9870]

She definitely did NOT sound like that. You’re the only one who is thinking like that, just like the rest of you 304s. The lack of attention to details and discernment you have is way off. You don’t need to be watching anything on this channel. You need to go watch something that will allow you to tap into your spiritual energy. You definitely aren’t connected in any way, shape, or form. Don’t argue with me.

[@catierollins8493]

@@bombbaby9870 oops just watched another video .. sue me 🤭

[@sunvavachi]

It was nice to hear about how Shan's relationship is now after a child. I liked that the guest asked and she spoke about it. Good episode as well.

[@siliziwex44]

I love it here - Shan you teach me so much about myself and others! Thank you 🌸💫💗

[@doublecheese21]

I have a HUGE GYM CRUSH on her! She is so badass so I’m very happy that you got to interview her 🥰💪🏽💖 she is so inspiring! I’m happy she is living her best life and doesn’t feel pressured or rushed! Live your best life Queen! Whatever makes YOU happy 🥰🎉💖

[@nanpabasico9932]

I remember Jared talking about an influencer he dated and he couldnt keep it going cause he didnt have enough cash 😂🤔

[@amandabelony3055]

Love Quimmah’s voice and vibe ❤

[@blacklvrboy7683]

I’ve been loving all of the new content over the past year or so, however, this video made me feel curious and peaked my interest in the way that made me first subscribe all those years ago! Loved this video, so interesting and loved the personal connection!

[@KiaraParkr]

This was a gem! The last point really spoke to me. I’m going implement the feel method instead of the todo method

[@sugarxospice3375]

This was the girl jared kept talking about being the one he took an advwnce out on aghh so genuine and so glad you had her one shes strong and motivating love both of your drive and sense of purpose over all else !!!

[@Tash-sher]

I LOVE this episode!! Thank you Shan!

[@loveafrica97]

She speaks so well!

[@darlenesaldana6665]

Rebirth these days is happening in such a large scale. What percentage of guys really like ambitious women? Guessing it's all about finding someone who is compatible and who have the same values. There is so much more building before kids even come into the picture. Live your life❤

[@brittanyedwards8862]

i feel like shan says things sometimes and i’m like wait can we explore that?!! ask her more!! and it gets glossed over… but i’m also pretty nosey so it’s fine lol. as someone that’s open to being open, i would love to hear more about her experience literally living with jared and seeing someone else. i also was super intrigued (and perhaps inspired?) by her having a cuddle buddy 💀

[@diaz9rox]

LA people are just different..sometimes I can’t understand..

[@diplayball]

Not all LA people are like this.

[@mazal9895]

Woo I never clicked so fast 😍

[@kingdr3d]

Can you post the link for the quiz please 🙏🏾

[@raqueldelacruz603]

Qimmah asking all the questions I’ve wanted to ask lol Side note: Can we get video on how your so comfortable Shan? Because my jealous ass couldn’t sit across from NOBODY that dated my husband 😅

[@lilamontoya5609]

Facts

[@JazminMoniqueDR]

Mm I would guess she’s not controlling and she understands because she feels the same and wants the same freedoms, she’s also confident within herself and her relationship, so it’s not threatening, therefore it move her in that way …

[@MAZ440]

I always wonder what you do with STDs. Protection isn't enough if people decide to do oral. Would you require tests for each person? It sounds complicated, but it is something to consider because there is a responsibility.

[@AyaNichelle-gi9cd]

Yes! Test are the only way to go. How else would you know lol?

[@leaellas8400]

There are oral sex condoms available as well. Both flavored and flavorless. The ones compatible for women's bodies is called Dental Dam. The one for guy's looks like a regular condom but colored.

[@TrVlogs82]

I wish it was longer.

[@alicialozano943]

I cant believe Shan doesnt follow astrology

[@SuchASaint]

When she starts to, the channel will be even better😢

[@emilyinfp704]

She contradicted herself a lot... like to say one sentence that you and your ex grew in different directions and then to say later that you outgrew them and you move up a level and they didn't and invalidate their growth just because it wasn't same as hers? Its quite ego-centric for anyone to say their path in life is a level above others but especially for somone who claims all that growth came from an ego death?

[@SwimsWithWhales31]

Totally agree. The entire interview was one contradiction after another and a lot of putting others down while simultaneously uplifting her own "growth," which doesn't exactly show growth. I think she is growING and very much still trying to discover herself and when you're so in that process it's better to acknowledge how much you don't know and not try to firmly define yourself to anyone. It sounds like maybe in her real life she is doing just that - basking in the unknown - but this podcast asked her to explain and define and she tried, but she's not there yet, hence all the contradictions.

[@AyaNichelle-gi9cd]

HA

[@mbealhighjump]

That’s not a “contradiction.” You can acknowledge someone’s growth and still be critical of the direction of said growth. Especially if you’re specifically discussing how these changes don’t serve your needs in a relationships.

[@bleepbloop7039]

people like to complicate everything including relationships, growth? either ppl choose to be serious and commit to each other to raise kids or just do play play with everyone until you realize whether you want kids or not

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@SwimsWithWhales31Great comment. You articulated what I could only intuit. Putting flesh on personal growth and making it tangible is very difficult.

[@javonjones7691]

It's disheartening to hear a woman actually go after the man and an approach that's more so forward ending up not working out😢😮

[@theplug3102]

Funny because y’all are the same N’s that will whine and complain about a woman not approaching you. This is why women don’t need to listen to dudes. Yall are just as lost as the blind leading the blind. Too many dudes are worried about the wrong sh*t. You want to simp over a girl you're attracted to, but the girl you probably feel isn’t all that you want her to work 10x as hard just to do the bare minimum. It further proves that y’all change for who you want to change for. 🥷

[@jenniferwilliams5111]

Lovedddd hearing about Shan and Jarred’s relationship!! ❤

[@59trappa53]

Yo husband got GREAT taste, I swear. Great interview thoe. Keep thriving and growing 💪🏾

[@daveparker5541]

Extremly Beautiful women stay single the longest

[@etf42_]

9s and 10s dont belong to anyone but the game!

[@daveparker5541]

@@etf42_ preach

[@kylieking8163]

Why is that

[@EricJohnsonresign]

Not a fan of Shan but it was a interesting conversation. Qimmah is no doubt fine but she is so young and has a lot to learn. Seems to be a egomaniac and has lots of criticisms for men and not much for herself.

[@la-toyankuna4354]

You are full of nonsense

[@BrittAnarVlogs]

So basically you don’t like the fact that she, a woman, is confident and loves herself. 😂 gtfo

[@EricJohnsonresign]

​@@BrittAnarVlogs Stop narrative changing lol! It's exactly what I said. She's an egomaniac by what was presented in this interview imo. She mentioned all the flaws in her prior boyfriend, basically putting him a blast and indicating she is on this higher level that he is not. Basically, he was beneath her according to her breakdown. She never once provided any critical implication of herself in that relationship. To have confidence is to have faith in your own abilities and believe in yourself, but the ego is something else, entirely. Unlike confidence, the ego operates out of self-interest. It seeks approval, accolades, and validation at all costs to be seen as “right”. So, how about you GTFOH lmao!

[@thedouglaspodcast]

Absolutely agree but I’m super curious, why aren’t you a fan of Shannon?? 🤔

[@etf42_]

she seems very overly complicated. she would be extremely exhausting to be in a relationship with...

[@prinnypluto]

I just took the quiz and it says I’m “Free” why have I been living such a wrong life.

[@TheUnicornHeart]

could you share the link please? i can’t find the quiz

[@lilamontoya5609]

I just googled it I can't find the quiz Send the link pls (:

[@shawneamarrow4082]

Listen people I’m 34 I have two teenage kids was with their dad for 10 years and I left because he was draining my soul I’ve felt scared alone insecure crazy all thee above but man. Oh man I started to look up manifestation and prayers to heal my mind body and soul and the first thing I asked for was self love cause god knows the one thing u cannot be out here doing is trying to love someone and u don’t love yourself it’ll never work and you’ll accept anything literally I’ve dated around had situationships nothing is sticking but atp idc if I find someone cool but I’ll be more happy when. Someone finds me !!!

[@drunktake]

It’s cool to actually hear Qimmah speak and get to see this side of her

[@Alexander07211]

So according to this Jared was in a relationship with Qimmah and Shan at the same time and she has her on the pod? Qimmah said she's was going to be 30 soon and she's currently 29 so the break up was recent right?

[@sexyblackcharlery]

Cancer men are not easy lol. My man is a cancer

[@elleroLUV]

a lot of intention seems to go into what you wear based on your guest. It's interesting lol.

[@XtraSupaStupidDumGoofaah]

Qimmah is the women i would approach certain women i just would have to or i would just feel like a weak man

[@MimiBelvoir]

Wowowowow 🫶🏾 I love this! I need to take the test and was so intrigued by this episode 🤔

[@michaelray689]

instagram have a modeling agency?? Since wen

[@shelbyspellman3046]

44:10😩 a gem ! Love that quote

[@YourGirl918]

I remember following Qimma back in the early days of IG she was so young , I litteraly envied her .. but then you realize dating isn’t as easy as it looks .

[@TivonSanders]

Hmm...she was confusing me. Maybe because she herself sounds confused to me. 🤔😆🤦🏾🤷🏾 Love your podcasts, Shan. Subbed.

[@alexisharrison4885]

Yes id love more experts in conversation

[@daveparker5541]

These folks have some weird relationships 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@franklinwill22]

Listen to how many times they both said if "it's not service me"

[@sonderexpeditions]

I think her last boyfriend never worked out because he was still in college or recent grad and she was 28. I just thought she was having fun with the hot young guy at gym. However love shows up anywhere. They were just in different stages. Age gaps in 20s are more difficult because people's brains are changing the most during this decade.

[@deborahlewis3413]

Love her hair

[@debj5114]

She is very beautiful.

[@archivez101]

It a wig

[@maycoleman7348]

That’s funny Shan I’m also a “free relationship” person according to your quiz. I so what that for me but my partner just tryna be monogamous to cheat.

[@denisemora2575]

Where can I take that quiz???

[@amberscott4262]

I hate to say it but qimmah will get different results when she carries herself differently

[@Bookauru]

Can someone please share Shan’s quiz

[@Nunofyabizzzzz]

So are they in a throuple now?

[@cremdeniro237]

Im a fan of both of these women Shan is a canuck like me, however if women want to stay single until they are 30 plus please dont cry when you are ready to settle & notice men dont want you anymore tge later girls wait the harder it gets to find & keep a man

[@omegawicked1]

mental gynmantics is babble is , word salad is babble. free spirted is simple a person is not loyal to NOTHING!!. ADULTERY IS NOT OLD TERM. what i like about qimmah no visible tattoos. no facial piercings. the weave and acyric nails are redflag.

[@spidermartialarts]

❤❤❤

[@MichaelEBeard]

Lady Q should be able to pair with a man of value.

[@benfranklin9371]

Nice ❤

[@WeGonLearnToday]

How old are you Shan?

[@janicehull8017]

38

[@oliviajonale]

Lmao BROO CANCERS 😩

[@MichaelVSmith-pp8nl]

That first woman saying shes looking for a husband not a bf will get one because that is her intention. Too many black people are playing this BF/GF crap. Stop playing with life.

[@MichaelEBeard]

I'm surprised she'd build a bear. I hope she can get picked😂🎉

[@underdog7495]

Your husband dated Qimmah and now got you??? That guy has all the sauce 😮😮😮

[@alexandriayoung]

and we is who?

[@AndSarahAppeared]

🤩🤩🤩

[@juanmachado1844]

I get all this but are these women marriage material? I know men have to step up and create value for themselves through a career and how they treat pepple but that doesn't happen until men get older. Sadly for younger men are being looked or taken seriously.

[@smome777]

It feels so unproductive to worry about what other people are ready for and can do...or can't do. Women go through SO much. Just go on dates and stay open.

[@nat2562]

Not all women are interested in being marriage material. I certainly am not. Let’s leave space for not all women to want the same things in life. Some women want to be wives, that’s great. Some do not, that is also great. Be secure enough in yourself that you are not threatened by women who don’t put men and marriage first in their life.

[@theobnoxiousguy3425]

@@smome777 Not western women.

[@dan020350]

❤

[@Lladz171]

❤

[@karinag8171]

Kimaa is just tooo much basic

[@loveafrica97]

Wait! This is Qimma! I followed her way back when, the blonde hair threw me offf

[@JamelVVanderburg]

That’s fake hair

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

​@@JamelVVanderburgWho cares?

[@daveparker5541]

AT 29, she should be ready for marriage and kids.

[@theobnoxiousguy3425]

Yep she done.

[@carolellamuch9571]

She should be who she wants to be

[@daveparker5541]

@@carolellamuch9571 not really. Women should be married with a few kids.

[@kiarathomas9081]

@@daveparker5541not all women desire to be married and to have kids. Why does everyone think every single woman should operate the same??

[@daveparker5541]

@@kiarathomas9081 be alone, grow old, and buy a dog i guess

[@TheEconomicExpert]

Not trying to be offensive, but her story is a warning to young women out there. If you spend your life showing your body on the internet for money, there are consequences. She wants a husband, but she’ll need to lower her standards. No high-value man would be interested in a woman who’s body is everywhere. He could get any 23 year old girl who’s only had one boyfriend and who’s more conservative. I’m some random loser on the internet and I wouldn’t want to wife her. Smoking hot for a hookup but not wife material. That said, interesting interview and it was entertaining to listen to.

[@mbealhighjump]

The “High Value man” corner of the internet is insane. Funny thing is y’all can’t even define it. It’s like Libertarians. You ask 12 of y’all what it means you get 12 different answers. 😂

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

Are men actually interested in marrying the modestly dressed sexually conservative young woman? I don’t think they are. They want to get the IG Baddie to turn her into an Amish housewife. When they could’ve gone direct to the woman they didn’t need to change, but they find her boring.

[@MostlyHarmless9]

Qimmah Damnn that sounded like a HORRRRIBLEE break up

[@jamespadillapleasefollowme577]

She has someone know I know who he is but I'm not saying who

[@underdog7495]

Who is it?

[@PrettyLittleHeretic]

She doesnt want a wife???? Like lets TALKKKK