Every Single Woman Needs to Hear This feat. Glo Atanmo | Lovers and Friends Ep. 58

On your journey to find and keep love (if this is your wish) have you ever felt like maybe you are meant to stay single forever?
That is how this week’s guest, Glo Atanmo aka Glo Graphics on IG felt throughout most of her life. She was used to not being any man's first choice only to later date 12 quality men at once. Then in 2022, she embarked on her pursuit of finding her forever love. She is now openly sharing her love story with her millions of followers online.
In this episode, she breaks down what the journey looked like and how she pursued an intentional dating season that led her to her lover.
Research article by Lachlan Brown for HackSpirit called “I can’t find love”. - 20 things to remember if you feel this is you”.
You’re not really looking
You’re list of wants in a partner is too long
You’re in the wrong place
You believe too much in soul mates and destiny
You’re still not over your ex (intimate idealization)
You don’t know what people want from you/ you don’t want to give it
You have unresolved childhood issues
You feel like you unconditionally deserve love
You try way too hard
You’re not being your true self
You don’t know how to play the game
You take dating for granted (entitlement issues)
You sabotage relationships
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[@monicapack2860]

“I don’t want a project, I want a partner.” I felt that to my core! Powerful. 🙌🏿

[@NallahBrown]

FACTS

[@evolvingflame]

Learned this from experience.

[@beewest5704]

I have realised that love/relationships are very organic & unique to every individual. You have ppl who are a mess & they easily get in relationships with good partners. Then you get ppl who arguably have their sh* t together & nothing happens for them. Some ppl do everything right & it gets them nowhere. Others do everything wrong & it still works. You can follow someone's script to find love & it doesn't happen to you. I would like more ppl to talk abt this. When it comes to love we fall into the trap of magical thinking because at the end of the day it just shows us how not in control we can be.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

That IS so true. There is no standard template ultimately, although we like to think there is.

[@simoneeeoooo]

THIS….this is what I’ve been trying to say for ages now. 😭 And no one is talking about it.

[@flowersmile123]

Very good points!

[@Momo_Mo781]

1. Look for alignment, availability and then attraction - in that order. 2. Sex is the lowest form of connection I can have. 3. Single? Sober, Celebate Bars on bars. Glow, love you girl. This is so powerful. I am using all your pearls of wisdom going forward. Your're right. We know "what" but not the "how"to to succeed in our relationship etc goals. Thanks for sharing so vulnerably. God bless your gift

[@virgo3687]

After ending a bad relationship with a narcissist. I decided to heal and learn myself. After being celibate for 3 yrs I decided to get back out there. I met and went on several dates with some really good men that understood i was dating and no sex would be involved . I happy to say I found my person ❤❤

[@VeeShenge]

Unless you are a doctor and especially a psychiatrist, and you have seen a medical diagnosis of the aid person you are not in place to be calling anyone a narcissist. Women need to stop with this crap.

[@virgo3687]

@@VeeShenge I’m guessing you have been told you’re a narcissist before.

[@kamiafunchess2126]

Yes, thanks for saying that, I'm just getting out of a similar situation (I also feel SOME people overuse that word narcissist, however, doesn't stop it from being facts, when you know your own situation) and I'm back out here ...scary as hell

[@VeeShenge]

@@kamiafunchess2126 as long as you are not a doctor and furthermore are not their doctor you don't get to call anyone a narcissist. Being a narcissist is a medical condition that requires a diagnosis from a doctor, ad you are not this person's doctor. So cut the crap. Women need to stop with this bull shit. Over using the word narcissist is exactly what you are doing, calling someone a narcissist when you are nt their docto.

[@kristajoynyaga3563]

Please give me an update

[@happygucci5094]

Shan can we pls have more people in their 40s and beyond that are living aspirational and inspirational lives. Please and thank you.

[@natashap.gyamfi2783]

Agreed

[@nadas.5643]

Agreed

[@babyboyno10]

1000 percent agreed

[@ceciliai.ogwude2845]

Agreed

[@indigostars6383]

Agreed

[@mayapuckerman119]

To be honest "Single, Sober, and Celibate" sounds like a good book lol

[@NallahBrown]

Yes please. She needs to go ahead and complete thag

[@vdezdra_9618]

I thought the same thing!

[@cinmayagrimes2027]

I was just saying that

[@eyecyou84]

Right! I'd totally read that book!

[@robinvolpi]

🙋🏽‍♀️ Right here. That's been my story for several years and I just turned 50. ;)

[@FreedomCoachTish]

As I listen to this story, I literally feel myself wanting to feel hope for myself in this regard and then pulling back because I also don’t want to be disappointed. I appreciate Glo saying this isn’t a happily after after but a joyfully present now. As a 40 something woman, it can be so hard to feel hope after experiencing so much disappointment…but I think I’m going to work on feeling more hopeful in this area…I so don’t want to be one of those women who are super skeptical and unhappy in life. Whew. I’m committed to not being that person.

[@premiumdre5228]

Glo is preaching queens and kings. "I dont care how the love looks, how does it feel for me?" is the bar of all bars !

[@NallahBrown]

"I'm in a season where I'm looking for my person and if you think that's not the season you're in, don't be afraid to say that."

[@evolvingflame]

All seasons give us reasons to learn things about ourselves.

[@pipperlue]

This is great but Glo is so clearly in the honeymoon phase that it’s almost hard to take. Like, repeating herself and just beaming on cloud 9. It’s great but I would love to hear how it’s going when the relationship is more established, like in 5 years or so when things have balanced out a bit more. Perhaps when her and her partner are even living in the same hemisphere. Idk….I would not deem myself ready to give advice on something that I don’t really have myself quite yet. But I hope it works out for her

[@desiree.s]

I have the same thoughts. Very happy for her and for sharing but it feels like she is going to have much to learn about the realness that will come in the future.

[@Afrolatina_adventurer]

100% agreed

[@Afrolatina_adventurer]

Agreed like at least wait a year before giving advice

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

@@Afrolatina_adventurer I'd say a lot longer.

[@annmargaritha4723]

@pipperlue it did work out.! She is a whole fiance now😊😊...

[@Venturesbyariana]

I am currently in Europe for 3 months. Maybe it’t because today I traveled to one of the most romantic cities in the world.. VENICE, ITALY. Anyways, I have a coffee date tomorrow. I literally have been messaging this man for a week and he asked to take me out for a drink tonight. Literally while listening to her boundary of not meeting at night and I am taking that on! I am a woman of faith as well and God is important to me. I LOVE this episode!! This is literally God’s timing. All three of you ladies are filled with purpose.

[@Venturesbyariana]

I am going to do a similar concept and share videos as well if anyone would like to check it out 🥰

[@brandyllanes2152]

Love this for you sis!! Enjoy 🥰

[@wandekagayleart]

Before watching the video, I literally just wrote a note to myself that this year I would be more open to the possibility of love after six years of solitude, but I am okay if I can only have peace in solitude.

[@dineotaabe9016]

OMG MAY THIS PODCAST NEVER END. UP UP UPWARDS FROM HERE

[@ninaunderdue1430]

More black women need to travel extensively. #passportgang

[@chustar2620]

That part where she said she never felt that way about being viewed as a “goddess” from a sincere lover…. Got me teary eyed. Its a real problem in America because black women are already stereotyped even if we never have been with someone or we haven’t dated in 10-15 years we are still under a stigma of stereotypes… it sucks.

[@teresamarie7460]

There is not one culture of women viewed as a "goddess". And in virtually all cultures, women are second class citizens. The BW from the USA have a privilege that they think they should be worshipped by everyone... Hence, the man who supposedly called her a goddess. Also, majority of the BM from the USA don't have the luxury of dating outside their race either. Realistically speaking, who are all these others willing to align themselves with the lowest race on the totem pole.

[@tlauren0915]

I would love to hear from someone in their 40’s on this topic, while I enjoyed this episode and agreed with a lot of what’s said. 32-33yo you have “time” to explore finding your person bc you are likely still exploring who you are. You can still have children if you choose. There are so many different dynamics from someone in their early 30s than someone in their 40s. Appreciate the conversation though.

[@pipperlue]

I totally agree. The bright and shiny young vibe of this is not applicable for most. She is speaking like she’s 72 and FINALLY found love. 32 is extremely young.

[@MyAfropuff]

I've always thought that dynamic is missing too. "Where are the 40+ women at??" I'm about to turn 46 and after taking a year at the end of 2021 (the worst year of my life, incidentally) I truly believe I've found my person. I truly know I did the work on myself and prepared to be open to love. I worked through Calling In The One by Katherine Woodward Thomas and had therapy. I only planned to open myself to love and now have someone who literally ticks off every single thing on my 'list'. He's above and beyond what I could have hoped for and I definitely would've missed him if I hadn't done the work on myself - and I was far from a 'mess' if you know what I mean. This is really long but I just want to say don't lose hope - that's a killer. I'm not 'special'. If it can happen for me, it can happen for anyone. God doesn't have favourites.

[@tlauren0915]

@@MyAfropuff thank you for sharing. I have not lost hope it just isn’t a priority for me at this time. But I do wanna hear from my fellow 40 women! No shade to 30 but we are in slightly different places. 💙

[@tlauren0915]

@@pipperlue exactly. When she said what year she was born in I did a double take lol

[@LavidaLovesCoils]

I agree. The ability, and tenacity to travel, live abroad and name your own life aren’t the majority of people, collectively, especially women in our 40’s. Many women don’t have the means to do this with so much day to day responsibility. It’s nice to hear from a fictitious, rom-com POV.

[@IphiaCarlene]

This is very inspiring however at 43, I don't know how to hold on hope anymore. My dream of my own family and a serious partner who is available for me.....feels so unattainable...and can't pretend to be ok with how it all turned out. When will the stars align for me.

[@Ilikefrogs..]

If you have the finances, don't wait around for men to do what you want to do. I'm waiting two years and then I'm going through with IVF. I want to have a baby, I have the finances to afford help, the vast majority of husbands don't contribute much to housework or childcare anyway, might as well have your baby. The consistent shaming of single moms (which primarily happens to trap women in bad relationships and to make us think we can't do things without men) prevents so many amazing women, who would make amazing mothers, from adopting or pursuing IVF.

[@TreniaP]

I think part of what you experience on the journey if you're single into your 40's, is the need to grieve the things you didn't get in the timing you wanted i.e. kids, marriage, etc. It's painful and uncomfortable, but it helps you accept where you are, not necessarily how things have turned out. I also think this conversation with Glo, as with many relationships are spiralic in nature. Meaning you will go on multiple healing journeys and dark nights of the soul throughout your life. And though it may seem like you're going through the same thing over and over again, you've gone up a level in the spiral, so it looks similar, but it's not the same.

[@Dekthagr8]

@@Ilikefrogs.. Men/husbands are important for health kids no matter what form that comes in. I applauded the have your kids, but i can’t totally agree with minimizing the role of husbands and fathers. Congratulations with your IVF journey.

[@LavidaLovesCoils]

@@Dekthagr8 thank you for saying this. I am a mother but I raised my son alone at 23. I don’t recommend navigating parenthood alone unless you have a solid community. Money is great and grants you more access but who’s picking him up from whatever after-school activity or advocating for him when you have other responsibilities? I am grateful for my son but the void of another was very apparent while raising him.

[@Dekthagr8]

@@LavidaLovesCoils You are welcome. I’ve seen the difference between my friends and I know being the only parent can be exhausting.

[@marinamartin6276]

This was such an amazing episode. I felt like Glo was my big sister giving me advice on love! Thanks for having her on the show. I learned soo much!

[@missrd395]

I was born and raised in the continent Europe. I have traveled a lot and always was attracted to men abroad. I am also a woman of faith and open for the real deal this year. Super excited✨🙏

[@lovelykali]

Came right in time

[@Dekthagr8]

I think growing up in California really does something to black women. She sounds like me until I lived in St Maarten and saw how much people were checking for me. How appreciated I was just walking down the street. But then I lived in Baltimore and got the same appreciation. Idk 🤷🏾‍♀️ .

[@Bbfication]

LA native here & I resonate with this! It’s so interesting because I’ve been hearing good things about the DMV and I met a guy from Maryland last year in San Diego, he’s a marine & he’s great but I’m healing and I’m not ready 😭

[@Dekthagr8]

@@Bbfication I hear you! When I was healing I had a man drive from his house in Delaware (we met in D.C where he works) to Baltimore which is an 1hr and 30 every weekend just to see me! When I tell you my mouth dropped! Lol. Give that man a chance when you done healing. 😂😂

[@teresamarie7460]

Nope... There are plenty of BW in California who don't have one problem meeting a BM.

[@Dekthagr8]

@@teresamarie7460 Never said they had a problem.

[@Bbfication]

@@teresamarie7460 true there's black men everywhere. But it's quality that's not easy to come by sis. As a real LA native, I know it all depends on where u are exactly but still...there's so much more out there than what's near you.

[@lovelustorbust751]

Alignment, Availability, then Attraction!

[@IvyProsper]

So Google Photos shared a memory, a picture of you and I in Toronto at a girls empowerment event. Then I was like, "I haven't watched Shan's videos in a long time." Then I watch this today and like WOW!!! I saw that Glo was in love on IG. I appreciate this conversation. It's so transparent, open, and really touches on important things we need to think about when finding love. Great episode. Also, I have to add, I'm so proud of your success Shan. You're doing amazing.

[@allthingsculture]

This has been my favorite interview from Shan this far. Glo is such a beautiful light.

[@robinvolpi]

Without question....

[@chellybaby]

she is so right.. how you FEEL is so important but we get so caught up in the physicality of it all.

[@destinylovely22]

the tips shan shared in the intro sometimes frustrate me. on a basic level i know they can work but they bother me because it puts soooo much onus on the single woman/person. what if youve done all the things? in reality there are some of us who just dont have success for reasons at the level of society, and no amount of personal accountability can cure that. i loved this conversation bec Clo addressed this. I am a black woman and american society is not designed for women of a certain hue and hair texture to be loved and cared for. this is simply the reality, even when insulated in blk community, white supremacy has infected all levels of society. everywhere you look ppl express their hatred and disgust of us unprovoked. ive watched women add prosthetic to themselves to look exactly like me, but they will have a better chance of finding partners by virtue of complexion and hair type. i spent most of my twenties healing myself, i took myself out of the dating pool and was celibate for years. i feel like ive healed myself right out of the dating pool 😂 ive asked ppl what am i doing wrong and they all saw im just too good and not trying hard enough!! this is not the rule though many of us will find love. I agree with Clo, traveling in a MUST for us, and should be for everyone especially my blk ppl. I didn’t travel to find love, i just love traveling and it was so crucial to my healing and the perspective was invaluable. the perspective crumbled the perception of what was possible for me as a black women ingrained in me by american society. also, yes, fetish aside, it is astonishing how well i was treated by men abroad. more and more now though it seems like less and less of a blk woman problem to me as i hear women of all hues echoing the same disappointed sentiment. its ok to accept that society has just failed us at this juncture and pool is just shitty. its not all your fault sis. one tip i never hear, that Clo sort of alluded but i think unintentionally bec she was really focused on going abroad. but she was also talking about the law of attraction. you can also call this magical thinking. sounds silly but i think you do have to believe in a little magic to find love lol. it feels absurd to believe that it can happen and i think sometimes it is absurd to believe looking at the circumstances, but we have to lean into believing in the impossible to attract what we desire. ive done it for so much in my life, and Clo seems to have started her journey to love that way. faith is another way of saying this too. there is work and realism that comes with that but its still law of attraction. i’ve decided for now there’s still more for me to learn and achieve for myself before looking for love. the journey of self is endless. i believe im good enough for love, remember whole toxic ass abusive narcissists are in relationships. to be in one isn’t a marker of moral or strategic success. i relate to clo sooo much bec i didnt grow up with pretty privilege either and so im comfortable being single, i have lots of interests, and i dont seek validation through attention. i do desire partnership I just dont feel fully baked yet to share with another. i’m still so greedy with me bec i love me soo much rn. i need more time with her (me). especially now that i’ve healed and found purpose.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

I do think that healing yourself out of the dating pool is a thing. Whenever I've been really authentically myself, I don't attract people around me AT ALL, let alone romantic possibilities. It's as if my vibe is so high there's no one around on the same wavelength. I also don't feel inclined towards it either. I hope I don't sound like Debbie Downer, but maybe you THINK you want a relationship, but actually what you really want is just to live an authentic life, which may actually negate being in a relationship.

[@TheJlyn528]

I loved loved loved the audio, couldn't wait to see it on YT.... Glos voice is amazing, and her story is as well

[@NoluNini]

She is so inlove it's so cute. We all have different ways of finding love and they are all so valid. As long as you are happy

[@martianmoongdds]

Wow, thank you for having her. She is indeed magical.

[@andrealowe8551]

Black men can love black women. Black children are amazing. That is a very personal choice. I want everyone to be happy, but I'm seeing so much push toward interracial dating. I'm my opinion there is a war against Black families. I only say this because there seems to be an agenda pitting Black men and women against each other.

[@SunseedStarchild]

Same. I don't like the narrative that all BM are bad at relationships. I completely understand and support opening your options as a BW, especially if you grew up in the states, but if there are good BW here then there are good BM too.

[@jeanty12345]

Reading Calling in the One by Katherine Woodward Thomas really opened up my eyes to how to prepare for the one

[@WilliamsPinch]

Yes. Love will answer!

[@OptimisticKTV]

I 100% agree with Glo in everyway. She touched on so many points that I tell myself everyday about how I plan to approach dating. I want it to be AUTHENTIC across the board. This was my favorite podcast episode for sure.

[@l.a.7880]

Is it really this hard to find love in America as an Afro-American woman? As a young African woman living in Europe (germany), I never really had any problems dating men and although racism exists EVERYWHERE, I never really had the feeling that I was undesirable due to my skin colour. What is going on in the US, that make my Black American sisters feel unwanted...even by their own man. That's just tragic!

[@ms.angiesworld8696]

GREAT EPISODE! So much so that I’m sharing it with my single friends ❤️ #EuropeHereWeCome ✈️ 😂

[@coldblooded568]

As a Black girl growing up in a predominantly Hispanic area, I LITERALLY thought I was ugly. Like, I thought I was an ogre or something because I was never the preference. I learned later that having cornrows/puffy hair is not attractive and neither was my blackness.

[@nat7041]

I'm a black woman living in Europe and this recommendation of 'just come to Europe and find someone' is really bad advice. Similar challenges those experience in the US can also be found here. This woman is in lala land.

[@sarahhaag6601]

I am happy for her!!! But...she should be a little bit carful...he is from Bosnia (east Europe), its a poor country in Europe....I am from Germany and I see alot of people trying to get out of this country....I hope he is not that perfect guy for her to get a greencard. If it is a guy from a wealthy country in Europe like france or Germany, I would not be concerned at all. But I really hope und wish her the best!!! I am rooting for them!!!

[@effetpapillon2411]

Exactly. As someone who's from the Balkans, this seems pretty sketchy. Especially since they haven't been in a relationship for more than a year. Regardless I do wish them all the best.

[@stellastar36]

😬

[@jhoannat]

Love you and your podcast! The burp just confirmed me that it’s ok to be a lady and look like a lady but deep down we can be gross too because it’s natural!

[@darlenesaldana6665]

Another great guest and discussion. Thank you for enlightening us 🙏🙌🌹🌹🌹 p.s. I want to read that book, "Single, Sober, and Celibate." 😉 Thank you ladies for teaching us high conscious females about modern day dating. Priceless💜

[@b.lachelle7755]

I absolutely freakin' loved this episode.... Glo is awesome!!! I 1000% resonated with her, and she is definitely an inspiration. Amazing episode Shan! ❤👏👏👏🙌

[@flowersmile123]

This was very refreshing, deep and encouraging. Makes me feel human. This gives me hope and makes me more open to the wonder and beauty of traveling, exploring, learning, growing personally and stepping outside my comfort zone. I think I need to be patient, open and really love and heal myself. And hopefully, Iove will find me again. And I agree "life partnership" is important if you want to be with someone for the long haul. Cheers to the renewal of "hope" and "hope" having a comeback.

[@kats248]

The hyper focus on “international men” is just not it for me. it’s great that it works for you but I think it oversimplifies the diversity that exists in all people EVERYWHERE. I think focusing more on who your partner is and how they show up is much much more valuable. Whether in your small town or half what across the world. It’s a person’s life experience that makes them not their GPS coordinates.

[@anitamathenjwa4089]

I 100% can relate to Glo, and thank you so much for this episode. I am a Glo and Glo is me! ♥ I love her realness, honesty with herself and self-awareness. I've been nodding the entire episode.

[@DyDyxoxo]

What are the best dating apps for a serious relationship?

[@CPenn-us7ks]

When you feel like there are no more fish in the sea, you just need to go visit a different sea lol

[@yzma6142]

Really happy for her. But I also think some people change standards for people on other races 🤷🏾‍♀️. Also I’d really love to hear this story from a married woman (since that’s my goal). Not to say she won’t be married soon, I wish that for her if that’s what she wants!

[@miick3yj]

I absolutely loved her perspective on dating and traveling. This was such a good interview

[@pamk1967]

Listened to this one on your Podcast Shan! So encouraging fir this Black divorced woman.❤️🔥👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@premiumdre5228]

Im literally texting someone our "this isnt working for me" shpiel, and this is hitting the nail on the head

[@Meet_meeks]

Maybe I need to go back to Europe because that’s not the vibe I got from men. Lol London is very diverse and I didn’t explore enough. I am slightly open to dating outside of my race and I have actually tried it before. However, it is extremely important for me to feel comfortable in my own black skin. I didn’t feel comfortable in Europe. I don’t want to explain my culture to anyone even if they “adore” me. I can always find a man that desires me on some level, but what I’m looking for is someone who connects on a deep level. Hopefully, I’ll find that person one day.

[@AG-xf1sz]

interesting that I stumbled upon this episode because the last few weeks I've been telling myself " I don't think there's someone for me". I've been dating this guy for 7 mos ..long distance and our last time seeing each other was nice but some things he said rubbed me wrong. This always happens. I'm so critical but also I don't want to settle! This inspired me to keep hope and do more work on myself with intentions.

[@OnyinyeNwokorie]

Thank you for this interview! This was so timely for me!

[@Evolving_tee]

So many great takeaways in this conversation. Alignment, availability and then attraction…noted!

[@leenieluvsss]

this was so relatable. my childhood & single journey is similar to Glo's. this was beautiful to hear. thank you!

[@coldblooded568]

I'm not going on a first date without makeup. First impressions are everything and I want him to remember me as Sleeping Beauty 🤣

[@nadydorcelus4647]

Crazy thing is the woman is beautiful. The men are truly missing out

[@chocolatesunshine3276]

as a single woman,loved this episode ❤️

[@MissDeAnn]

It’s like it kinda sounds delusional but I’m glad it has worked for her

[@christinewhack8860]

Shan's color theory is so on-brand. We see you.

[@luraayzit]

Aaaah! Thank you so much for sharing and all good to you! I love how this makes me EXCITED for my own journey.

[@mstmklry]

This episode was so much confirmation for me! Thank you!

[@nanostar7660]

39:00-the intention becomes the bond

[@coldblooded568]

If you're going country to country every 3 days, where are you staying? Random hotels? AirBnB? The sand on the beach?

[@zyrahwatson895]

As always, a great conversations! Her thoughts on dating black men were interesting. It really made me lean in to what she may be feeling. I think I'm hearing some speech coming from a place of hurt. I say hurt because there were some generalizations in their based on her limited interactions. I have mixed feelings on this because is it harmful??

[@UKLeonie]

👏🏾💛🇳🇬👏🏾💛🇳🇬👏🏾This was a beautiful episode and the top five so far,already taken some notes of brilliant joy from this.

[@lovelustorbust751]

@Glo you have never been so beautiful....i love the glow you have since finding love!!!

[@PfEMP]

Sidebar - love that Glo got a new LinkedIn profile pic from this 😄

[@SarahAlAmeri]

I am an Aries as well, and I dated the same exact way even though I am not supposed to date being Arabic Bron and raised in Saudi Arabia, now I am 29, married next month my first anniversary (That's the Aries Dating Style) 😉💕

[@marilynrabbit8145]

Love her energy . Thank you for sharing !

[@loversandfriendspodcast]

Thanks for watching!

[@anniewhite8373]

Such a great episode! Thank you to you both 💗💗💗

[@queenqueen1053]

Timely interview !

[@coldblooded568]

As a 25yo woman, I hate that men mature so slowly. Like, I really gotta be with a 40yo man in order to freaking start a family? Wtf

[@jupiterShoezR4Me]

Sis, do not be fooled by the age. Theres a great deal of older men out there that still behave and think like same way they did when they were in their mid-twenties.

[@coldblooded568]

@@jupiterShoezR4Me trust me, I know this. All I'm saying is I definitely can't be with no lil boy. You have better options and treatment dating older guys in my experience. Young niggas be cheap, still building, don't know what they want, how to get it, still playing games etc.

[@coldblooded568]

I've NEVER felt obligated to keep dating a guy just because of an expensive dinner or gifts. I've gone on expensive dates with guys, and literally never spoke with them again. Not on purpose, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.

[@uwanaibanga9488]

I would actually love to read a book by the title, "Single, Sober, and Celibate: Living a Life of Centering."

[@brittanijeanae]

Loved this, so many great messages…thanks for sharing !

[@bgsiejjbfjdori3422]

I get it and I’m genuinely happy for her but such a illustration of finding true love abroad how much more successful that is than in the USA. Yet she’s only been with him for 6 months like come on. Let years pass and maybe a full blossoming marriage. That’s no better than the passport bros. Other than that finding oneself and a true partner and something we all need to strive for no matter where we are in life physically emotionally spiritually etc. I hope it works out for her and her partner ❤

[@danis.5040]

The "passport bros" entered my mind too. Find love wherever you find it however that love abroad narrative can be a bit misinformed.

[@giaholmed2626]

Absolutely not! The pee pee bro’s are engaging in sex tourism. What this woman is saying makes sense! Misgynoir is deeply ingrained in America society, and is a perpetual obstacle to non-ambiguous black women in the dating market ( with all races of men). It makes sense for American black women to see what opportunities exist abroad without those hurdles!!! Get ready to grab your passport girls!

[@bgsiejjbfjdori3422]

@@giaholmed2626 all men not just black men engage in sex tourism 😂. That is not exclusive to one ethnicity and usually worse because others statistically have more means to do it. It is just not marketed on the internet for the world to see by other ethnicities of men. It makes sense to see what’s abroad NOT romanticize it, there are nice and nasty men everywhere.

[@heathermitchell6920]

I love how spiritual and amazing you are

[@coldblooded568]

I feel like in this dating world, people don't give each other enough time to grow chemistry. A guy will just be like "No bbl? No 13x6in Wig? Nah I'm good" 🤣

[@dken1149]

Thank you for the list of finding your person

[@freedamnsweetcree7235]

Hey Shan you beautiful beeeetch 💜 I'm posting this comment before fully watching the video. Just wanted to throw some positive vibes your way lady 😊💜🤙

[@SassyL62]

wow i relate to her so much

[@NoniSheila]

the episode I've been waiting for

[@mahgolf9324]

Loved this episode

[@whoiskiradunn]

"Fetish" and "hypersexualization" aside sound like a huge understatement, especially when that's juxtaposed with stating that they were calling her a "goddess" and asking what they've done to "be so lucky" to be in her presence. It sounds very worship-y like she's being pedestalized - and that can, in turn, can feel objectifying and fetish-y for me especially if it's coming from a white man. I'm happy for her, but this didn't do it for me. I would like to partner with a Black man. I'm open to partnering with a non-Black man but I have no interest in partnering with a white man.

[@beewest5704]

Traveling I have realized that some places are just like that ("worship-y") So I do not take it too serious. Its just different if its not what you are used to. Even in America I get that treatment as a foreign lady.

[@dragonfly4470]

I knew he was a serb! We serbs can recognize eachother.

[@SassyL62]

she is sooo beautiful tho

[@oihcam22]

Your person doesn’t have to be a romantic partner though

[@TheCultureCounselor]

Great episode! But can we talk about Glo's hair? 😊 I need detailsss

[@shellyb122287]

What is the title of Chrizia's (sorry for mispronounciation) episode on her experience with divorce?

[@WilliamsPinch]

I don’t understand how people can resign themselves to being alone. Nature didn’t design it that way.

[@cinmayagrimes2027]

This is important 🎉

[@veganhippiesol]

I typically really love the topics, but this is the first topic that left a weird impact on me. I think it’s irresponsible to imply that there’s not quality black men here in the US. I also think she should’ve spoke on the racism she’s experienced in Europe because it’s not all rainbows and butterflies. Part of me feels like she wants to be in love so bad, so she settled with this guy. I mean she even admitted she wasn’t attracted to him…idk about this one. To each their own. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@danis.5040]

Agreed

[@bridgettedenise]

I am really enjoying your podcast

[@dananakhendla]

oooo i love Glow !

[@XxMimiYasxX]

Black women please be aware of the racism in Europe before you come over here looking for the love of your lives pls…especially in Eastern Europe!

[@bridgettedenise]

Stop it

[@TheBetterlife101]

@bridgettedenise No she's right Eastern Europe is Hella racist BUT so is America so do you...

[@Ilikefrogs..]

As long as Eastern Europeans aren't shooting up black people like yt people in America, I'm good.

[@XxMimiYasxX]

@@Ilikefrogs.. …enjoy your experience

[@XxMimiYasxX]

@@TheBetterlife101 exactly. It’s something you would want to be warned about when someone gives advice to dating out here.

[@StephanyLynn]

Who else wants to know the app she used? What program/ trip excursion she was talking about ? I’m late, but I need this info 😂

[@Shamilllionaire]

Where is the hoodie from? I love it!

[@coldblooded568]

I wouldn't want to travel for love because then we have to decide who's moving where and that would only be after committment. Just seems impossible.

[@coldblooded568]

The dating pool really IS hard to navigate.

[@soleneptune9498]

I don’t wanna be rude but who is that second woman and where’s Shann