Being Autistic Self Diagnosed

Being autistic self diagnosed - an interview with my self diagnosed autistic friend Cathie about her experiences including;
- what made her think that she is autistic
- why she hasn't chosen to have an autism assessment
- any negative experiences since her autism self diagnosis
- her advice for others who are self diagnosing autism
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @purpleella
here is a link to all my stuff including:
direct.me/purpleella
-Ko-Fi - my tip jar
- My merch
- All my socials

[@51elephantchang]

My self diagnosis was the best thing that happened in my life because at that moment I stopped being a failed neurotypical.

[@daisyjanelycan]

I feel this in my soul 🫶✨

[@laurathornton2158]

💯 🤗

[@adrianmargean3402]

Yes, I feel the same, although I still struggle with it a lot.

[@beandoll]

Yes, sir!

[@Dw5653]

I've recently started identifying as autistic/ADHD and I've already run into problems with close family telling me "thats something for a doctor to decide". But I know me. I know my mind and I know my life. Thank you for the validating content

[@Sky-Child]

My family do that "You can't be autistic, we all do that!" I pointed out the strong genetic link and that if they share the traits/difficulties they should also consider the possibility THEY are autistic too

[@taoist32]

Interesting reaction. My mother said I have autistic tendencies since I was a kid, but never formally sought a diagnosis. At 48 I am now self diagnosed as it all makes complete sense why I am the way that I am.

[@sophiesteele7853]

Yes I think u could have an idea I though I had adhd before I actually got diagnosed but I didn’t say I am I have gone through so much pain trying to get diagnosed but of someone asks I say I am on the path way Which means I am going to get diagnosed…

[@GETBENT1331]

do you know what its like to not have all that stuff to compare yourself to?

[@GrannyGooseOnYouTube]

@@GETBENT1331 that's the trouble with most of the self tests. The questions are posed under the assumption that you know how to compare your habits and thoughts with neuro-typical people. To ME, my thinking seems normal for me...I really don't have the ability to compare, other than by observing that others SEEM to struggle less with this or that.

[@FordMuztang]

Growing up in the ‘60’s, there wasn’t a real understanding of neurodiverse people…especially females. Finding out about autism and how it affects women differently was a life changer! It explained so much about my childhood and experiences over the years. I never could figure out why I tried to be like everyone else but was just never able to. From peers to family, I couldn’t manage to fit in. Now I understand. It’s helped me tremendously to be more patient with both myself and others. Thank you for this excellent video. Like you say, I don’t need anyone else to validate what I know with every fiber of my being.

[@LunarWind99]

I get that, I literally used to work so hard to pretend to be like everyone else. Finally when my mask was slipping and friends told me I seemed like a caricature of neurotypicals, I realised that I am indeed autistic ^_^

[@Sky-Child]

Oh so relatable! People saying "Why don't you try to fit in and be like everyone else?" And I'm like trying as hard as I can, harming myself by doing so and STILL so different. Decided to drop the act as I was fooling no one and now just be myself, colourful, loud, awkward, creative, emotional, sensitive like the world is the steel wool to my burning skin.

[@gigahorse1475]

I recently came to this realization about myself. What you said about patience is very compelling. My whole life I’ve had awful meltdowns and difficulty socializing and I never knew why. I felt like I was the only person in the world with such bad “anxiety.” I don’t have an official diagnosis, but I don’t feel alone or “weird” anymore. Hopefully I’ll have more patience with myself. I just need to get my confidence back.

[@stevealexander2649]

I agree, why do we need some body elses judgement if we know ourselves

[@wendychan6679]

Your comment of not being able to fit in really hit a nerve. That has been my life experience too. Didn't matter where I was it was largely the same. I was born in the 50s and at that time people like that were regarded as troublesome brats. I simply didn't think the way they did. I think once you found out you were autistic, it would have initially come as a shock and then you would have felt much relief. At least that is what it was for me as it gave me understanding as to why I am different. Being autistic does NOT mean you are nuts etc, it just means you are different.

[@ByrdieFae]

Feeling that identifying with something makes you kinder is exactly what I feel. I believe that I am more patient with other people because that is what I would want/need in a given situation.

[@atrixa1991]

I second this! Learning more about autism gave me a framework for understanding myself and also other people.

[@sueannevangalen5186]

For me, this gap between self-diagnosis and formal diagnosis has become VERY hard. I wish I could say like Cathy that I've been "too successful" but I haven't. I have a pattern of abandoning jobs when I reach a state of burnout (that's how I understand it now -- before, I thought I was lazy and selfish). I'm only 46 and I want to move forward with a career as a diagnosed autistic person who needs accommodations (I am so sure I am capable of keeping a job with certain supports) but the wait is really messing with my head. My assessment is going to take place late this year.

[@Catlily5]

I am 47 and not too successful either. I hope your assessment goes well.

[@sueannevangalen5186]

@@Catlily5 Thank you 😊

[@Catlily5]

@@sueannevangalen5186 😊

[@relentlessrhythm2774]

I wish you the best!

[@sueannevangalen5186]

@@relentlessrhythm2774 😊

[@graceface418]

The word is gatekeeping :) Thanks for this video, Ella. People tend to miss the fact that you need a diagnosis to get assistance/services so self diagnosed Autistics aren't taking anything away from anyone. If it helps you live your life and feel better in who you are then who cares if you have an official diagnosis?

[@patlauron]

The medical profession needs an actual diagnosis. This will help people get the proper medication and therapy when needed

[@ericabbott4864]

​@@patlauron An autistic adult who is self diagnosed likely isn't seeking therapy for it, they simply identify it in themselves. You wouldn't require a lesbian to get a diagnosis confirming her sexuality when she understands what being a lesbian means and realizes that's what she is, why would you require the same for someone who realizes they are autistic? Adults understand their neurology better than children, and most doctors won't even diagnose adults. As for proper medication - what is that? What is proper medication for autism? Autism isn't a pathology to treat with pharmaceuticals, it's just a different way the brain develops. Granted, there might be difficult behaviors associated with autism, but that isn't because of a disease to treat, it's because of stress, miscommunication, confusion, and irritation. An autistic individual who has accommodations and the patience of those around them will live a better life than an autistic individual that you drug to make more tolerable.

[@harrywatson2694]

because your not autistic if your not diagnosed that's like saying i say im a paranoid schizophrenic therefore i am

[@1234kingconan]

@@patlauronwho? The medical profession? We’re talking about the individual adults here. They don’t all need a diagnosis. Who needs what, and why that’s the question you ought to ask yourself here.

[@stevealexander2649]

Well said,I agree entirely. and lets not forget the assessment could be wrong

[@noemiemi7213]

I am 30, born female (non binary), married with a kid, an education I always worked for with a lot of struggle and the sense I wasn't living up to my potential. Always recognized, from a young age, that I was clever but never had anything much to show for it, externally calm but always incredibly tumultuous inside, organized on the outside, a serial procrastinator and slob on the inside. Something showed through the years, but very very minor stuff that never got anyone worried, me neither. If I lashed out I was just neurotic and stubborn, if I overfixated on a read or a new hobby and then left it, I was just flaky. High school was tough, bachelor was a nightmare and i finished it just for fear of being a failure in the eyes of my parents, master I never finished it. I married and had a child and my life crashed down on me before I could be overtime - still to this day it stings that I couldn't finish it. All of my understanding of ADHD has always been boys running around and kicking. But since 2020 I started discovering other people's presentations of it, and it started to click for me, I saw a lot of me in these other people. I went for evaluation just this month, after waiting a long long time. When it came to my dad talking to the psy to describe me in the past, they deemed it useless to go on with evaluation because, in their opinion, I didn't present ADHD traits in childhood. They, however, said there are signs now in adulthood and that's something I'd have to see with other specialists, since they exclusively deal with ADHD. In the end, I'm deciding if just going to therapy with a psychologist (cheap option) or spending a lot of money to pursue a second opinion/a formal diagnosis for something else. I decided I'll keep seing myseld as ADHD, basically I self diagnosed myself, because it keeps me mindful to all the things I struggle with and all the strenghts I have. Also, I keep eyes open in case my son displays some early traits, which isn't bad IMO. I don't know if that's right or wrong, I only know I need some sense of control and closure around why I am how I am, and it gives me that. Life became manageable for my brain, which isn't always the case. It's been like this for a longer time than ever in my life, and I think that's no coincidence, though I have worse days than others. If I went around asking for pills on the basis of my self diagnosis i'd understand the gatekeeping, but that's really not the case. So I really don't get the gatekeepers who snark at things like this lol Much love to you all

[@Catlily5]

I had a counselor who suggested that I might be autistic in 2007. I read 3 books about autistic boys. It didn't really seem to completely fit. I was having other mental health problems as well. They said I had some things in common with Autism but did not meet the criteria. I agreed. I continued living with many mental health problems. Fast forward to 2020. I got a case manager who used to do autism assessments. She told me that I strongly seemed to have autism. She tried to get me assessed for autism but the state university was interested in diagnosing children mostly and didn't want to put an adult on the waiting list (at least during Covid). Since it was Covid I started watching 100+ videos on autism and started feeling like I do have autism especially with the new information on how women (and some men) present. I am not at all successful in life. I am on disability. I feel like my mental health problems have masked my autism as well as my autism is misdiagnosed as mental health problems. I am not disputing that I have mental health issues just that I think autism is one of my main problems. I want a diagnosis but I am scared they won't see it because of my mental health problems. PS: You are one of the first people whose autism videos I saw!💜

[@helenm1085]

I had severe depression and anxiety and then got an autism diagnosis and government funding for support, and my life is SO much better. Alleviating a lot of the trouble I was having due to being autistic has made it easier to address the mental health aspects because it's clearer what they actually are

[@Catlily5]

@@helenm1085 I am glad you are doing better!

[@Sky-Child]

It's extremely common for (especially) late diagnosed female autistics to be misdiagnosed with LOTS of mental health issues first. As someone who has navigated the mental health system all my life, one of the best ways I found that helped so I can function and be happy is to act like I already have the autism diagnosis and focus on what I need - a structured, quiet life. Minimal social situations, avoiding busy places. Stimming if I need to stim. Using headphones and sunglasses to avoid sensory meltdowns... Etc. My mental health is SO much better, so much so that my BPD diagnosis doesn't apply anymore and my trauma is slowly healing.

[@Catlily5]

@@Sky-Child Luckily I got rid of my BPD diagnosis a while ago. I am trying to learn how to manage my autism symptoms. I would like a diagnosis but who knows if that will happen. I have only been studying autism for a year or two and am slow at implementing coping skills but it is happening bit by bit!

[@gigahorse1475]

@@Catlily5 Good for you! I hope you get on the right path mentally. A lot can change for the better in a short period of time. I am pretty sure I’m autistic, and for me the mental health problems I used to suffer from masked my autistic symptoms as well. Once my mental health got under control, the autism symptoms remained and that’s what made me realize what’s going on.

[@robinlaker]

People are free to identify their gender and sexuality so why not their neurological type? My son was diagnosed asd several months ago and this has led me to my own discovery - it was like a thunderbolt through my body! A lifetime of loneliness, unhappiness and diagnosed depression, anxiety, ocd with periods of drug addiction and a suicide attempt suddenly made sense. I’ve booked a private assessment in a month’s time but now I’m frightened I won’t be believed. I feel like I have to prove myself to the rest of the world. Im still coming to terms with everything and I hope that my courage and confidence grows so that I can own my identity. Formal diagnosis or not, I’m autistic - I feel it.

[@cherrycordial4180]

I appreciate you doing this video, Ella, and I appreciate Cathie giving the interview. I, too, am self-diagnosed. Getting that piece of paper costs thousands of dollars and there are no services for adults anyway. The level of bias here makes me think I'd not likely get it and I don't want to subject myself to the stress of someone else telling me what I experience. I'm older and have developed coping mechanism throughout my life. At this point I'd be more worried about a diagnosis being used against me. All the groups here are pro-aba, my mom and siblings refused to acknowledge it so I get by with help from my partner and kids, and the online autism community. That includes you and your videos. Thank you and your friends again for putting yourselves out so others can learn and/or take heart.

[@MiroslavHundak]

Excellent video. For myself, I desperately needed that official assessment, mostly because no one believed me and I needed a person with authority to tell me: "Hey, you're not a piece of sh** person, you're just different". In a way I feel sad I always felt out of place and had low self-asteem all my life. I wish I could be self-confident like Kathy, but that'll take years of "readjustment" for me... Also, I love Kathy's necklace. It's very cool.

[@ToddyWithaHotdog]

This is exactly how I felt when I learned I was likely autistic! Though since I didn't have the money to afford an assessment yet, I started accommodating myself where possible and it was absolutely life-changing! Now I am not so much in a rush (still saving up) because for the first time ever, my life makes sense to me and my mental health/emotional regulation has been improving after years of trying all these things to no avail. 😊

[@PurpleElla]

Yes I also felt that I needed an official diagnosis, because tbh I think I would have struggled to embrace my autism the way Cathie has without it

[@shawnaford5540]

I also will need the diagnosis to move forward, and now waiting for results. Mostly because this investigation is due to MDD that is treatment resistant and constant fatigue. Yet I am getting comfort from videos like this one and am learning a lot.

[@zakeanbeuchat535]

I felt this way too, but then I went for an official diagnosis with an old psychologist who used cassette tapes and an ASD questionnaire designed for a parent to fill out for their kid. I received a nondiagnosis of "possible 'high functioning' ASD" and was told "you don't have enough of the *other* traits" (whatever that means.) Yet they referred me to support groups for autistic adults and social skills classes. So I'm autistic enough to need lessons on how to fit in, but not autistic enough to be worthy of an official diagnosis because... why? That was mid April and I'm still upset about it. So for now I'm still stuck with saying, "I *think* I'm autistic" because many people still don't accept self diagnosis and insist on us putting in that evil little qualifier unless we have the piece of paper.

[@UnicornUniverse333]

@@shawnaford5540 I had MDD for most my life and I'm recovering from severe chronic fatigue syndrome of years, by laying on Acupressure mats for the past years, I'm AuDHD and acupressure mats healed and healing me, I highly recommend to find your healing tools that you feel comfortable for you

[@WilliamFontaineJr]

Reading through the comments in your channel proves you are helping so many people in very profound ways. If you ever have self doubt just review your comment sections they are proof of the good you do in this world. Thank you!

[@PurpleElla]

Thank you, that's such a kind thing to say and I appreciate it

[@paulthompson7358]

I've just watched your video and found it very helpful. I'm 62 currently self diagnosed but I am seeking an assessment. I've suffered anxiety & depression since childhood. A few years ago a therapist identified some maternal physical & emotional abuse in my early years which seemed to explain some of my divergence. I'd always put most of it down to the anxiety and being 'over' intelligent. Then a few months back my wife asked me if I'd ever thought I might be autistic. It was actually a relief, because I had but I'd always dismissed it as 'trying to be too special'. My wife was 70 on Thursday and I would say that she's had more of a problem coming to terms with my autism than I have. She wants me to be assessed so that we 'know' for certain. We're a bit too old to live in a kind of temporary limbo while we figure it out. I want an assessment to help me unthread my problems and try and figure out what the hell is really going on inside my head. Being self-diagnosed and just considering that I'm autistic has been a relief. It's validated the self care I need, for instance, from being overstimulated at work, by the TV and background noise in general. I identify with Cathie about the masking. I think it might prove a barrier to a proper diagnosis and I am very good at it but most of my strategy revolves around avoidance. I used to work in an office, now I drive a lorry long distances. I have always avoided social gatherings unless drunk but I stopped drinking 2 years ago, so no socialising now then! It's my social interaction that's the give away, that's what my wife mostly mentions as problematic. The most embarrassing for her is my tendency to 'over share' personal stuff, like absolutely nothing is off the table. Now I've always thought that was a good thing, it just seems like I'm being open and honest but to be honest it's a bit excessive. Plus I 'go on a bit', I talk over people, I'm repetitive, I don't respond when someone tries to change the subject, I don't notice when a stranger I've started talking to wants to get away... it's a long list. Sorry, I'm going on a bit again. The thing is my self diagnosis has already helped with all of the above. I'm more aware of it happening and because I see it as my divergence and not 'Just me being me' I can interrupt it, sometimes, and hopefully let everyone off the hook a bit. Anyway, thanks again for the video and thanks especially to Cathie.

[@RyuguPrincess]

Thanks for the video! I’ve been fairly certain that I’m autistic for years but trying to get diagnosed here in Spain via the public health care system is a struggle. Today a psychologist told me after talking to me for half an hour that I couldn’t be autistic because as a child I suffered from being bullied and she said an autistic child wouldn’t have suffered because they wouldn’t be able to understand that they are being bullied. The irony is that I often was unsure if someone was making fun of me or not, but that only made the bullying worse, and when it got to the point where everyone was pointing and laughing at me without me understanding why, and others were deliberately hiding my things I don’t believe anyone neurodivergent or not wouldn’t have suffered from that. Then she drew a symbol (a combination of a square and a triangle) and asked what that symbol looked like to me and when I said it looked like a house she told me someone autistic wouldn’t have recognised that. I believe that one of my special interests is art / design and I am a 29 year old woman who went to art school and is trying to work as a freelance designer (which she didn’t know but also hadn’t asked) so I do recognise abstract drawings and symbols, but would that really proof I’m not autistic? When someone says something sarcastically for example I often have a hard time to tell and I often think they are being serious, but with visual symbols it’s just easy because my whole life centres around art and design. It’s so frustrating that all my struggles are being invalidated because of an explanation like this.

[@niencat]

This psychologist has a very fixed idea about autism and that idea is not based on the latest research. Autism is very diverse, it differs from person to person. If i were you i would look for a psychologist or psychiatrist who has really studied autism. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me was autistic herself and although she did not immediately notice i.might have autism, after 2 years she suggested to do an autism test hich i did. And i am on the autistic spectrum despite veing able to read body language very well, can detect sarcasm most of the time and can lie and do better in intuitive and associative thinking things than in structure and mathematicsl things :)

[@whitneymason406]

There is such a debate about whether or not self diagnosis is valid, so thanks for this video and Cathy for sharing your experience! ❤

[@melaniewantsabeer243]

I am so grateful for this channel. Recently diagnosed ASD type one. Learning about myself makes my life easier.

[@ScenicFilms]

"Too successful." Same here. But they aren't thinking that we've masked until we became pros at it, and no longer "seem" autistic. Does this mean we've outgrown our autism?

[@ladystardust2008]

There is a line of thought that you can outgrow autism. But you can't. You become an autistic adult, probably with a range of coping strategies. But it's still going to manifest in the adult world somehow like problems with workplace for example, even if you're 'passing' so the casual eye cannot tell.

[@emilymorley3655]

I got my son diagnosed in Italy -it took me 7 years from the age of 13, no doctor would take me seriously ,one said that by me saying he was autistic I was implying that he was brain damaged and that there was absolutely nothing to be concerned about,to go home and stop telling your son that he is autistic He dropped out of school,so I took him to London to be officially diagnosed,but it was taken no notice of in Italy they said it was not valid .After 7 years he was finally diagnosed both with autism and mast cell activation disorder but the battle for a diagnosis took a toll on his mental health and mine ,I was hospitalised for stress related illness, and my son lost 3 years in dropping out of school and became severely depressed .Italy is very behind other countries,most doctors have no experience,even those who are supposed experts.I needed the diagnosis for him in order to get the help he needed in further education, which he eventually received in a state technical college where they train young people in gold smithing .

[@helenayamez]

I'm so pleased you eventually got a diagnosis for your son, just sorry for the impact it had on your mental health. I wish you both well.

[@anomalou]

I'm sorry you and your son had to go through such severe mismanagement and misinformation. I'm glad though you got a diagnosis and hope you were able to come to terms and find accomodations for him. I can only tell you how much I feel for you because for me, over in Germany, it has been equally devastating and I think we are also very far behind regarding medical professionals training and information in general. 15 years ago, my mum tried to get some help for my terrible mental health because of severe bullying to an extent that I didn't want to live anymore and the only thing they did was treating me like a teenage outlaw and tried to resocialize me which was basically ABA therapy - they told me how to dress, speak and think in order to fit in with my peers who told me that my dad only died because "I must have screwed him to death with my weird personality". It was a horrible experience and just a few years ago, my severe anxiety disorder was blamed on being raised by only my mother. No search for reasons from my childhood or trauma from masking. I have several friends working in the medical field nowadays whom I talked to about synaesthesia and not fitting in and struggling with social interactions and when I brought up the term autism, they were like "No way you are autistic, my brother is autistic and non verbal so you can't be autistic!". They're also working with autistic people in their facilities and deny that anyone who barely functions and can hold down a job for some months might be considered autistic. It sometimes feels like German education on a health care level is still stuck in the middle ages regarding mental health topics.

[@chickenpie9698]

Really interesting perspective and it really relates to people I've met who were diagnosed later in life. Hope that's validating for anyone else who identifies themself as autistic without being formally diagnosed. The thing for me with self-diagnosis is that a diagnosis is not accessible to certain people around the world for various reasons. I think we need to accept and embrace anyone who self-diagnoses until a diagnosis is more widely accessible.

[@darongw]

I think self diagnosis should be valid. I view autism as a nuerotype and not something to be cured. Because of that it doesn't really make sense to me to have it locked behind gate keepers. I think professionals should instead focus on helping people identify their support needs. I did get a diagnosis for autism but I mainly did that for ADA protections here in the States around my employment.

[@Catlily5]

Professionals in the USA at least cannot help you without a label. Insurance will not pay them.

[@atrixa1991]

"a neurotype and not something to be cured" is such a good way of putting it. Hopefully over time it will become less medicalised and more support/accommodations will be available for autistic people so overall mental health is improved.

[@serendipityculture1679]

Sever forms need to be cured ASAP.

[@Samantharichie1986]

THAT'S why I am looking to get a diagnosis too; I've had big meltdowns at work that almost caused me to lose my job. I am afraid of having anymore meltdowns, because I cannot afford to lose my job. I have my evaluation this wednesday

[@serendipityculture1679]

@@Samantharichie1986 Diagnosis wont stop ur melt downs. ADHD and Autstic genetics are more suited to P,M life, trust me, Wake up 1pm, u wont have melt downs, promise.

[@MyASDJourney]

I love this topic! I was Dx'd age11 ADHD/dyslexic - but only learned to deny all traits instead of accommodate my needs. There were no services then. Fast forward to age 59 ( 4 years ago) and I "discovered" my ASD. Got a diagnosis to confirm it. Still, I struggle recognizing, and accepting my traits... and I still question the autism diagnosis at times. In my case, I developed dysfunctional coping/accommodating strategies and it is very hard to break those self-protective behaviors (lots of denial/avoidance). I do know that I find it easier to relate on a fundamental level with others who are ND / Autistic. Its a "connection" you cannot explain, your body and soul just seem to "know" you are with your tribe.

[@amandachapman4708]

If self-diagnosis helps a person to live their life better, then I think self-diagnosis should be a thing. For me, I'm 65 now and self-diagnosed little by little over a few years from about age 61. I also self-identify as inattentive ADHD. The difference it has made to my quality of life cannot be over-stated, and with watching videos made by people such as yourselves, not only I have learned many coping strategies that I didn't have before, but I have also been empowered to take off the mask to some people and to be more my authentic self. Thank you so much.

[@juliafawcett6182]

This is such an important topic to talk about. I’m a self diagnosed autistic and am pretty turned off from the idea of ever seeking a formal diagnosis. I don’t see it as something a doctor should be a gatekeeper of because it’s not an illness, it’s a way of being. It’s not a pathology, it’s just a different way of operating that’s been pathologized simply because it’s different. The definition of diagnosis implies pathology of some kind. It goes against my very being. The implication of pathology has been a big issue for me with the other diagnoses I’ve received over the years. It’s been way more damaging than helpful. Nobody knows me better than I know myself. I don’t recognize any doctor as an authority on telling me about myself. Especially when there’s an assumption that who and what I am is wrong in any way.

[@3SeasonsUSA]

I just want to know where my grandchildren and possibly our children got this. I am not sure I can even get a diagnosis in my area. If you plan to have children of your own, would you plan to have them if you knew? I am finding that many in our family have it. I am 98% sure I do, but I also mask well. I have struggled with something all my life.

[@HarrietFitzgerald580]

Hello Cathy (C or K?) I cannot put into words quite how amazing and impactful this video has been for me and what a timely thing for me to view and take in!! To see someone, as an adult, clearly identify as autistic and embrace that, accept that and NOT need a piece of paper in order to feel confident and valid in that self-assessement...so well put and a breathe of fresh air. I also found it so refreshing and validating to hear from both of you, that Cathy probably wouldn't get a "proper" diagnosis, if she were to go in for an assessment now, as she masks too well. It was validating, as I myself have been assessed and dismissed, since I did not tick the boxes apparently (apparently females have "learning latin" as childhood special interests) and I definitely KNOW that I'm on the spectrum and so yeah, I am not quite sure why doctors are the gatekeepers of labels. I also admire that Cathy doesn't need a piece of paper to validate herself - I think it shows a great understanding and respect of who she is and acceptance, grace and wisdom. I LOVED this video !!!! I LOVED how open and accepting Ella is and how open and accepting Cathy is; of herself and eachother. SO MANY THANKS !!!!!

[@gmlpc7132]

What matters when someone talks about autism or identifies as autistic is whether they do so with insight and whether their life experience and history reflect autism. Not only is official diagnosis often far too difficult to obtain but it commonly lacks validity and reliability with genuinely autistic people rejected and some non-autistic individuals wrongly diagnosed. Too many clinicians doing the diagnosis lack knowledge of the condition or hold stereotypical views about it, e.g. "someone can't be autistic if they make eye contact, can hold a conversation, are married, etc" Ingrained masking can mean that someone who is genuinely autistic is denied a diagnosis and may even lead to the farcical situation where a person feels they must act "more autistic" in order to get a diagnosis. An autism diagnosis is like putting together a jigsaw and can't be done based on one or two pieces as some clinicians seem to believe. As the video stated until diagnosis becomes more accurate and far easier to obtain it is perfectly reasonable for someone to self-diagnose. As Ella mentioned an official diagnosis is often necessary to access official support and anyone seeking that is wise to seek an official diagnosis but otherwise self-diagnosis is quite acceptable.

[@taoist32]

As a self diagnosed autistic, I have always wondered how many of these autistic creators get married. I have almost never been able to hold on to a relationship as communication is very difficult for me. Is being single a myth for autistics?

[@gmlpc7132]

@@taoist32 I'm in a very similar position and the few intimate relationships I've had were very short-lived because I didn't know how to move things forward. For me it's like starting a car and then not knowing how to drive it! Some autistics have more success and do get married but I think the general pattern will be far fewer relationships and often more short-lived ones. There are people out there with whom we click but far fewer and much more difficult to find.

[@taoist32]

@@gmlpc7132 Yes, I am with you in everything you said. Just very surprised to see so many creators who are married.

[@gmlpc7132]

@@taoist32 I think it's possible that those creators - autistic and otherwise - who are married and maybe have children as well have more angles of interest for viewers and therefore become more popular on YT. In the wider population the proportion of autistic people with partners is probably much lower. It's hard to know this as there seems to be very little research on the overall background of autistic people, e.g. age patterns, gender, occupations, married or single. There are lots of case studies but seemingly little looking at large numbers.

[@helenvandam1356]

I would like to thank you for your time. I have hyperacusis which has put me on the autism spectrum. A couple of months ago, my husband sent me a KZbin video from a lady with 10 points of autism and he said..this is you...so I did more research on ladies who were diagnosed and..WOW?..I was so excited. This was me, school troubles etc. I have accepted the fact that I am autistic and that has taken a HUGE weight off of me. I now know why I am how I am. I know that I won't get professional advice as I am 74. I wear Bose sound canceling earphones indoors and custom fitted earplugs outside of the home. Sounds are a killer for me, but life goes on and God is good and faithful. Thanks again.

[@thesugarpuppie]

I would call myself semidiagnosed. I am not in a position yet for a full official diagnosis, but I have had it suggested. This was by health professionals who actually knew what they were talking about about 10/11 years ago when I was being screened for mental health issues. I found out later what I was actually diagnosed with. Apparently the person asked my mom if I had ever been tested. She told me after the fact since we were interviewed separately. She said I'm not autistic (she taught type 3 kids as a kindergarten parapofessional) and since I wasn't like them, I couldn't be.🙄 I was never tested, but I have been through a lot of the things that count as criteria for women who present differently. I've had burnout way too many times and have been pretty low because of it. I won't go into detail. I think that's what people have referred to in the past as nervous breakdowns. And I had a meltdown just yesterday. I've not been successful in life by any stretch of the imagination up to this point though I have had my ups. I've been unemployed for years now and still living at home. I may be around your age, I'm guessing. I somehow managed to finish college and didn't really participate in anything or have many friends while I was there just like grade school-high school. I wanted to fit in, but I didn't. I also started later.

[@kkuudandere]

Thanks for this interesting perspective! To be honest I've suspected it for myself for years, but I don't say anything because... well, I'm actually scared of upsetting friends that are formally diagnosed. Don't want them to think I'm jumping on some "trendy bandwagon" as some people call it. But then again, most neurotypical people (which could include me, who knows) still look down on autistic people in regular life, so I'm not sure what kind of fun "bandwagon" are they talking about 🤨 what's so trendy about society still thinking badly of you sometimes...

[@taoist32]

I agree. What bandwagon are these people jumping onto? It’s like calling yourself gay when you’re straight. Not sure why people want these labels for? I self diagnose as Autistic because it validates my life experiences. At 48, I don’t jump on any trendy, attention seeking mental illness labels.

[@MyHotShoes]

What you said is amazing, most people here who have not been diagnosed are just saying "I'm definitely autistic" even when they're probably not. You've said that you think you're autistic. My advice would be to get a diagnosis.

[@fideovilm8448]

Thanks for sharing Cathie :) I'd love to know what these services are that diagnosed autistic adults are apparently receiving that we need to ration!? I got my diagnosis in October last year and from my experience there is absolutely zero help out there...other than autistic content creators whose work has been absolutely invaluable to me. So a massive thanks to Ella too x

[@helenm1085]

I've got support after my diagnosis in Australia - I'm on the NDIS and get funding for things like occupational therapy and support workers. I wish stuff like this was available to everyone who wanted it, cause it's made a big difference to my mental health

[@JAZZYGIRL1988W]

Where I live (Canada) it’s still nearly impossible to get any support as an adult, even after a diagnosis. All the services out there are for children or people with severe disabilities.

[@caramadra5]

@@JAZZYGIRL1988W same in the US.

[@fideovilm8448]

@@helenm1085 I'm so glad you're getting that support Helen. Absolutely as it should be :)

[@fideovilm8448]

@@JAZZYGIRL1988W Same in UK Jazz. Seems to be no understanding that autistic children grow up into autistic adults..!

[@ladystardust2008]

Thanks for this and to everyone who commented. I'm 54 years old, female. In 9 days I am going to begin an assessment for ASD. I have already tried this with an NHS assessor but it was clear to me that the woman wasn't taking me seriously so I abandoned that course. Now I have lined myself up with a private practitioner. Like I said, we will begin online sessions soon. Why am I doing this aged 54 when I already know that I am neurodivergent? Good question. It's basically to have a piece of paper to show the world. "The World" considers pieces of paper really important. You don't exist or define yourself without them. Think about that for a minute. An accurate label is a most helpful thing. I can't hold down a job. There are numerous occasions when a formal diagnosis would have enabled me to get consideration and respect for my needs by law, and I might therefore still have those jobs if accommodation and protection had been available to me. Without that piece of paper employers, DSS, police, teachers, family, even medical practitioners dismiss you as wayward, lazy, aggressive, antisocial, deluded, immature, weird,attention seeking etc etc. Going forward, I may not receive a full diagnosis . But I will have a (very expensive) written report in my hand that explains where I am on the spectrum (for I am). That will close the matter for me whatever it says. I should have been spotted and supported in childhood and many times since, but it didn't happen. I've come to terms with the fact that my life has been not what it should have or could have. I can't get the time back to re-live of course. But I just need to be vindicated. I might not even tell anyone the result, I'm not sure yet. I just need to insert the missing chapter that explains the rest of the story for my own satisfaction.

[@louiselawson3957]

I absolutely wholeheartedly identify with what you are saying, thank you. I am in a similar situation having organised a private consultation to secure a diagnosis. Similarly to you, I may not even share this report with anyone, but it will validate my whole life experience. Since accepting the concept that I am autistic my life has made sense. Every incident, melt down, sensory discord, social disaster, feeling of being different, masking (but not knowing from what or why) will be explained. I need this but I can see why others don’t pursue the tricky path to diagnosis. I hope your assessment goes well! 😊

[@ladystardust2008]

@@louiselawson3957 Thank you so very much. I spent all day filling in assessment questionnaires. A lot of work! Hope you get what you're looking for too.

[@mountaingirl2222]

It is December 17, 2022 and I am 53 years old. I am responding to both Lady and Louise. What you both have written has resinated greatly with me. I am very much wondering how things turned out for you? Getting an official diagnosis is incredibly important to me for some reason. I feel the need to be validated with my belief that I am autistic, even though it will cost me loads of money that is difficult for me to come up with. This week on the 13th I had an initial consultation with an Autism diagnosis specialist. Yesterday, December 16, I had a three hour block of tests. All of it has been incredibly hard. I have had two massive meltdowns this week. The doctor said she will get back to me after she writes up her report. It will be perhaps in January sometime that I will go back for my final appointment with her. Please reply with your updates if you are inclined, I hope all went well for you!

[@ladystardust2008]

@@mountaingirl2222 In May of this year I was in exactly the same place on my journey as you are. In June I received my positive diagnosis verbally followed by a short confirmation letter. A few weeks later I received my full report. The whole process was a very, very difficult thing to do. Very draining and upsetting. I was extremely lucky to find a compassionate and non judgemental professional to work with. We did the whole thing online. I paid handsomely in cash for the privilege but she worked extremely hard for me and deserved every penny. I had nobody to support me except my partner, who, although he didn't really get it, did his best for me. Was it worth it? Would I do it again? Resounding YES. I would never have been able to rest until it was dealt with otherwise. The present for me is very different from the past. I am at peace with myself. The future... well, still on my journey so who knows? I am not a medical person at all but it sounds to me as if you need to be where I am. If you recognise you are having meltdowns you really need that professional opinion whichever way it goes. Best of luck and let us know how you get on 👍

[@stevealexander2649]

Your words resonate with my current thoughts and past experience, with help i have self diagnosed,but validation would help me, hope it goes well for you

[@ryn2844]

There are places that do go into depth and take more time with an aut!sm assessment. The place I went to is in the Netherlands so maybe not super helpful for your situation specifically, but it specialized in 'subtle autism' and autism in women and afab people. It was called 'de autismespecialist'. They did 7 sessions of an hour and I felt they were super thorough and accomodating. The waiting list was minimal and my insurance covered it. I think there are probably equivalent institutions in the UK. You just have to look for them. For me personally, getting a diagnosis really helped dispell my own doubts and self-invalidation, and my parents didn't believe me without the official diagnosis, and now they're totally on board and supportive and learning about aut!sm too, and it's just helped us a lot in understanding each other, so yeah, a diagnosis can do a lot of good.

[@PurpleElla]

Here in the UK the options are wait years on the NHS wait list and have an assessment based on biased criteria, or pay several thousand pounds for private assessment which simply isn't accessible for many people. The Netherlands sounds great!

[@ryn2844]

@@PurpleElla Oh. Well that really sücks. I hope things get better soon over there.

[@marisa5359]

As a self-diagnosed, I appreciate this so much. I have two children formally diagnosed and a husband who apparently was pinpointed as autistic as a child but not told till he was 35, I have struggled not to feel as though I am bandwagoning. In fact, I stopped talking about it with others much once I faced their dismissive reactions. In some ways, I would love a formal diagnosis for the support but I have no resources to seek it at this point.

[@wolfdreams2000]

At 62, I've developed a lifetime of strategies to work through most challenges. While a big part of me would love to know if I'm autistic by getting a professional dx, most of me thinks like Cathie, that they'll likely find me a point or 2 below the qualified dx(even tho I scored very highly on each AQ quiz I took)or that I am not "disabled enough" to qualify. So at this time, I'm self diagnosed, but still debating on pursuing a professional dx. Thanks SO much for this! ❤

[@pauline7158]

Thank you to both Ella and Cathie for making this video. My son was diagnosed as autistic a couple of years ago. Prior to that he felt it was likely he was and myself and my husband have read several books about about it that I too feel it’s likely I am too. I’ve not sought official diagnosis so it has helped me hearing Cathie’s experience, experiences, and Ella’s too. Thank you.

[@sintija123]

Thank you for this video! Cathie's story really resonated with me a lot. I've felt alienated and weird my whole life but only a couple months ago (I'm 20 now) I started learning more about autism and realized that's where I see a lot of myself. Suddenly all things in my life made sense and I've never felt so at peace with myself because now I know who I am. In my country there are absolutely no resources for autistic adults but videos like these are a reminder that self-diagnosis is valid. I've never met an autistic person who said that it wasn't valid and made me feel like I don't belong; in fact, it's quite the opposite - the more I learn the more I find similar stories to mine that just assure me that I'm autistic and that this piece of paper won't change who I am. Thank you again for sharing your experiences!

[@MrAndywills]

Neurodivergent people just 'KNOW' and instinctively recognise other neurodivergents (Spidey senses). The so-call 'professionals' are very poor at recognising (or rely on out dated criteria and subconscious prejudices) who is actually neurodivergent.

[@shaebyrnes1495]

Thank you for this video.It’s really helpful. I’ve started to look into possibly being autistic after my therapist brought it up to me about a two years ago. Since it was during covid there wasn’t anywhere that was taking new clients so I couldn’t get an assessment until now (I still don’t have an appointment though) so for now I’m self diagnosed. I just feel like it would explain so much about me.

[@bonkersbunnymum]

I am glad that so many view self diagnosis as valid, as although since it has been brought to my attention that I am likely autistic (now aged 41) and doing a lot of research I can now see that within myself (I had no idea just how differently females/AFAB could present, or things that I thought were “normal” that everyone did isn’t actually the case), I am going through the formal diagnostic process, but I know this will take time and I am concerned that I won’t get a formal medical diagnosis due to how long I’ve managed to mask for and struggle/stumble through life as just the unique quirky one. So it’s good to know that even if I miss out on the medical diagnosis, that people within the autism community will still welcome those who are self diagnosed. Thank you to you & Cathy for making this video 💜

[@bakuyugipokewwe]

I just want a diagnosis because I'm sick of socially masking but not understanding social situations or being self aware of my actions and needing alot of alone time without being rude or judged for being nasty

[@sarahferrell5458]

My favorite Purple Ella video EVER!! This was so helpful. I’m so grateful to you both for this. So kind, Ella, and thanks for introducing Cathie-I can relate to her very well. It’s all so confusing sometimes. ❤ but this helped!

[@sunblossom4478]

Teared up the whole video , thank you for being here ladies

[@robertaq5441]

Thank You . This helped me a lot. I'm 58 and also felt different. As have a child with autism.

[@badkeiser]

Thank you Purple Ella. I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia since 2007. My new psychiatrist has told me I may have been misdiagnosed and may only have OCD or mild autism. After doing my research I was sure I had both OCD and autism but I did have one doubt about my misinterpretation of people’s intentions. I watched one of your videos and you described the symptom I was experiencing perfectly. Obviously I still need my dr to say for certain but from my own tireless research the evidence is overwhelming (I have filled most of a note book with autistic and obsessive compulsive symptoms). The world is an amazing place.

[@aleksandra4581]

Thank you for this, this means a lot to me as a self-diagnosed autistic who won't have access to get on a waiting list for a while and won't really benefit from a formal diagnosis anyway, for me it just helped me understand myself soooo much better and I am blessed to have some supportive close people who will acknowledge my needs

[@AHappy]

Wow I see so much of myself in this. Atm I’m self diagnosed. Luckily the people I’ve told have been completely open and have even not been surprised, I’m the surprised one.

[@rheanstatements]

when i look back at my childhood & life it seems SO obvious to me, but i was adopted into a very abusive /neglectful home, and to survive i escaped into books & learned to mask to survive. i was born in '80 and mistakenly thought that the messages of the overall 'better world' was actually a thing that society cared about, so i put my head down and tried to 'do all the right things for success' until my life just absolutely fell apart mid-2019 (i mean it had been tottering nearer and nearer to the edge for a while but it stopped completely socially then) and then i suddenly became a T1D feb2020, right before the first lock down :P so i don't go out, i don't do very much, i don't eat very much (i didn't even know about ARFID until i started living on youtube, when real life became too much to bear, and i only engage in parasocial relationships now. i'm being funny but only slightly). i have tentatively started trying to get the proper help, but it always feels like pictures of people buying bread in weimar germany (wheelbarrows full of scraps of paper) trotting out all the things that i have had to carry. is daunting and exhausting.

[@Thought.I.Was.Clever]

I self-diagnosed last year. I chose to seek diagnosis. My evaluator told me it’s nearly impossible to tell in older adults due to coping strategies (masking). She said my symptoms don’t rise to the level of needing support, therefore I am not ASD. I suppose in a cold factual kind of way that is what she needed to say. But it doesn’t help me (which isn’t her job, only testing is). In fact, it hurts.

[@lilkennyz]

Dr Obinyan on KZbin cured me from autism,after receiving treatment from him for 3weeks,I am now totally free from autism,I am forever grateful to him💯🙏🥰🥰

[@anhaicapitomaking8102]

That's bs what she said

[@dannyc73]

Like the kitchen at a party - love it. Unlike Cathie I've been aware since I was a teenager that I was probably autistic - although I was in my 30s before I really started to understand just how different other people's thought processes were to my own. I very strongly identified, though, with her reasons for not bothering for a diagnosis in adulthood. Understanding how I was different could have been so helpful when I was younger, but I no longer need the support that a formal diagnosis might give me access to (it wouldn't have been there in the 80s, when I *did* need it, anyway).

[@shaingreen6833]

this honestly makes me worry. i have self identified as autistic for some time now. i’m almost 20 years old. next monday i get my assessment results and i’m terrified that i will not be diagnosed. watching channels like ella’s have really helped me see myself in someone else and if i’m denied a diagnoses i’m afraid i will feel completely lost. if i’m not autistic, i don’t know why i’m so different. i guess i’m just venting because cathy seems so sure of herself and i did only a week ago and now i’m not so sure i’ll be diagnosed. the results will say what they will and i can’t dictate that. i’m hoping for answers, not more questions.

[@Glitteryglows]

And what did it say if I may ask?

[@anklesockson8134]

Thank you for the video, thanks to your channel I feel I have learnt so much. I'm 37 and have been watching videos and reading up on autism for the last few years since my daughters school raised the idea they thought she was autistic. As with many people, while trying to learn for her I discovered very similar traits in myself though never felt a the need to get diagnosed. However a new manager started at my work recently and she has made things very difficult. From changing the radio station to one I cannot stand (which gives me brain fog and I make mistakes) to changing all desks and computers around and my routine is completely messed up. I have had meltdowns for the first time in years and found myself going days of being numb, without sleeping properly and barely eating. I told her last week how I am pretty sure I am autistic and she thinks it would be best for me to get an official diagnoses, I currently am awaiting to see if my GP can see me in the next month or two but no idea how well it'll go, I am pretty good at masking, I think I was gas lit by adults so much when younger I learnt from an early age to hide my emotions, even from myself.

[@imagismus]

This video feels like a comfy couch. Thank you🧚🏻‍♀️♾still waiting to have my own money and go through with an assessment because besides being autistic, I highly suspect I am dyspraxic (something that negatively impacts abilities like driving). I want a diagnosis because I've had a continuous identity crisis since the beginning of my teen years and have been given what I think is a wrong diagnosis of BPD

[@ajs6750]

I have always been successfull academically. Veterinary surgeon. Socially i have struggled and my recent selfdiagnosis as autististic+ adhd , it answers so many questions.

[@annissagraves3076]

Your KZbin videos are so helpful! My daughter told me I was autistic last week and I laughed at her bcuz I’m in-attentive adhd. But I took a couple of quizzes, really high scores, both recommending I see a physician for diagnosis. My adhd was diagnosed in my early 30’s and that diagnosis changed my life. I’m stunned by how many traits aren’t weaknesses or bcuz I’m just too sensitive. There’s an actual reason. It’s very empowering and I do want an official diagnosis now!

[@ToddyWithaHotdog]

Thank you for this video Ella! I am currently self-diagnosed autistic. I have a large detailed timeline of all my traits at every developmental stage/age in accordance with the DSM-5 and other shared experiences. You have helped me a lot in my journey! I appreciate you so much!

[@paisleyrosestuff]

Thank you so much for this video, it's really helped me as I navigate the process of researching all of this for myself, and trying to decide whether or not it's worth seeking an official diagnosis. The process is overwhelming to me and I'm not sure that I need that paperwork as much as I need the better understanding of and compassion for myself, but it still feels like I wouldn't be "allowed" to describe myself that way if I don't have that paperwork. But seeing videos like this of people who are self-identified being accepted by people who have an official diagnosis is really encouraging and helps me make this decision for myself and not for other people's opinions of me. Your channel in general is helping so much, thank you!

[@photokimasl]

I'm 32. almost 33. my husband has basically diagnosed me as autistic. but after watching lots of autistic creators I do definitely feel autistic. I've been medically diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety. I'm too poor and have 4 kids so I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get a diagnosis.

[@lilkennyz]

Dr Obinyan on KZbin cured me from autism,after receiving treatment from him for 3weeks,I am now totally free from autism,I am forever grateful to him💯🙏🥰🥰

[@katherineseager3363]

I love this video - thank you, Ella and Cathie! This video is really validating

[@LoveCrumb]

Thank you for this! My experience is similar and this is extremely validating.

[@lynncotto371]

Awesome interview, thank you so much 👍☺️💓

[@shabbahey]

Thanks for making me feel I'm not alone (again!). Great video. x

[@2brothers21]

I’m 68 and self diagnosed.

[@bluetotoros8513]

I really enjoyed this video, it was very eye opening and heartwarming for me. :) you both seem like such kind people and seeing your friendship brings me so much joy and hope for my own future! I really appreciate your perspectives and your warmth that you bring to this topic

[@seaofsolace]

Self-diagnosis should be valid esp for older people. I am 44F. I have seen psychologists all my life from the age of 10 and none of these geniuses thought that it could be autism. I find out by accident at 43!! I have absolutely no trust in the medical community to recognize what autism in women looks like. There is no way I am putting myself through the stress of an assessment with people I have zero trust in. I spelled it out for them and they still didnt even hint it could be autism. I kept telling them how I felt like an alien, like this world didnt make any sense to me, I didnt understand the social rules, how difficult change was for me, etc. So no thank you for an official assessment.

[@shoshanafox727]

Same for me. I didn't find out until I was 60! I'm 64 now and it's been so helpful being self diagnosed, but I have no trust in the "professionals."

[@dimpsthealien333]

I went for a diagnosis and although he said I had many autistic traits requiring minimal support, he couldn't officially diagnose me. Such BS. At 51, I am so depressed because I don't know who I am. I would like to say I have ASD, but society puts so much importance on doctors who, quite often, misdiagnose. I know because I have had this problem many times. I just wish I could get support and direction. I get extremely depressed. It's scary.

[@Hotmessmomsreadings]

It was the same with me, other family members/ loved ones were autistic and I was doing research and as I continued to struggle with my dyslexia i uncovered more research available I identified more and more as autistic. Currently in therapy & integrating into my body and becoming aware and honoring my triggers cycles & rhythms.

[@pleasesayhi4009]

When I realized I was autistic suddenly a lot of things about my dad made sense.

[@SpookymidnightKyanite7]

Same about my dad I believe he’s autistic I’m like wow he fits it perfectly and so do I

[@wolfdreams2000]

Great video and info-thanks!

[@2brothers21]

Thank you for this…very relevant to my own situation .

[@serendipityculture1679]

She looks 60 years old. U can tell she's had a very hard life and still.does.

[@janinesawyer5746]

Really, really helpful guys ~ thank you x

[@jfern4813]

I think it's a problem in society that we need a diagnosis to get reasonable adjustments at work. Surely if brains are difficult we should all be able to access reasonable adjustments to be able to work effectively.

[@ellie_5276]

12:57 I think the word you were searching for was “gate keeping” ?

[@neridafarrer4633]

One of my children is diagnosed. My dad is pretty well self-diagnosed, but he's absolutely textbook. Even down to not talking until he was 3 and then speaking in full sentences and being obsessed with trains and all facts related to, as a small boy. My sister's children are diagnosed too. When I talked to my gp, about my autism and wanting to explore getting a diagnosis, he said "why would you want to spend all that money to find out something you already know?". I didn't have a answer at the time. I've obsessively reseached it (typically). I would like a diagnosis but they are very expensive in my country (Australia). I am not able to work now, as I had too much trauma and burnt out too heavily, as an undiagnosed teen parent and mother of 7. And I live in a very diaadvantaged area.I haven't learnt to drive either, so diagnosis is not accessable with my income (disability). I do dream of diagnosis at some stage. It would be validating and vindicating.

[@tammybrown4410]

Thank you so much for this video. 💗 I really understand. My eldest son was diagnosed when he was 17, and my 2nd born was misdiagnosed with other things yet fit it. They are passed on now. Yet, I have struggled with this and believeI I am.

[@diannalynnYT]

Thank you

[@Beafree]

I'm 48, I just starting to identify as asd/adhd. I wanted to be diagnosed officially but if I have to go in as autistic in order for them to correctly dx me then I don't know how to do that since I mask all the time. I know I would go in with my presentable professional mask for them to disregard what I tell them based on how I go in, isn't worth the money or hassle. I'd rather self dx myself since I've been dealing with this all my life. Thankfully i have your channel to help me manage it now. Thank you and thank you for this amazing woman you interviewed.

[@autisticinsweden]

I still feel as if I'm selfdiagnosed, even though I've had an official diagnos of AS for nearly 20 years now. I am, however, selfdiagnosed with ADHD and OCD. Those thoughts I've only had for a couple of months, and have not yet decided to do anything about them. It's a 2 year long waiting list to be evaluated in Sweden, and I'm not sure it's worth it.

[@joannedavies4958]

Interesting video. I suspect I have Dyspraxia but I’m very unsure about self diagnosing in case I’m wrong but also I’m unsure at age 50 whether I should bother with attempting to get a diagnosis. I have improved on some things I struggled with so I don’t know whether that could affect a diagnosis. I mean, I did eventually learn to tie my laces, learn to ride a bike, learn to tell the time but I struggled with these things and was well behind compared to my peers. I also had an issue with reading aloud to the point that teachers thought I was behind on reading but I could pick up adult books at home and sit reading them to myself without struggling at all. As a parent, I found I couldn’t read books to my child when I was tired. I just physically couldn’t read the words aloud.

[@clorofolle]

At elementary school I was "visibly" autistic, my teacher even told my parents they thought I might be. They just thought I was "ahead of the curve" because I was very book-smart. I didn't show any interest in playing with other kids though, didn't know their names and faces, spent all day stimming or drawing dogs and pokemons (special interests!). But I was quiet, shut down any kid they put near me since I didn't talk to them, followed rules obediently, was great at school, so I was the *golden child*. Eventually I started hanging with a couple of kids who thought I was cool and were into me ranting about dogs and pokemons so we became "friends" and that was the proof I was actually neurotypical, apparently. It took me 7 years of therapy as a teen & young adult to properly learn what friendship means, after getting into toxic friendship after toxic friendship in which I'd let the other person walk over me, leaving me basically depressed and hopeless as a person. Still - between finding coping mechanisms/learning to blend in/learning how to mask and therapy, I now am apparently a valid human being. Yay! Sure, I can't seem to form or mantain meaningful relationships (except with a couple of other clearly ND people, one of which my partner), job interviews send me into panic attacks, I have these cycles of "I can do anything" and subsequent burnout that make it hard to work, noisy places give me tremendous headaches and fatigue, and if I interact with too many people I need to rest or be fatigued. But I still don't think a diagnosis would help me. There's no real resources in my country for """"mild""" (are there better terms?) adult autistics. It would just be a label that would make people go "oh that's not true, you're so smart!" and then make it harder for me to fit in anyways because of the stigma. Absurdly, it's better for me to pass off as a weird, lazy, unmotivated person with something weird in their brain than an *autistic* person. But, the knowledge that I might be? It helped so much. it put my heart at rest. Before, I berated myself for not being able to be like everyone else, for never being enough. I would push myself and end up fatigued and overwhelmed and depressed and I'd lash out on myself. Now, I am able to be kind to myself. Know my limits and try to accomodate for them when I can. I have symptoms that relate strongly to both autism and adhd (as does my dad, who's even more stereotypically boy autistic), and even just finding coping strategies for them and using them has helped me a lot in managing my daily life.

[@kaminathekoach9087]

This answered the question I posted on another video. Nothing more I can do other than what I am doing now, the best I can!

[@dharmainthenorth]

Well done, Cathie.

[@tdsollog]

Thank you for sharing. I’ve been considering getting a diagnosis because of my 24 year old going for his.

[@sharonomorojor5184]

Hi, I found that really interesting and I can identify with Cathie a lot. Thank you.

[@thegogsunit4084]

I am 49 years old and within the last year, through the power of youtube and channels like yours, I have also self-diagnosed myself as having Autism. Similar to your guest I have a good job, married and own my house etc and do not think I would even get an appointment with someone for an official diagnosis let alone actually be diagnosed. This is all with having almost every trait of Autism and multiple scores in online tests such as Baron-Cohen's which strongly indicate this. Although since coming to the realisation, I am much happier internally and dont beat myself up about doing or saying things that are 'Autistic'. I would like to tell the people i work with though as historically my colleagues all know something isnt right when they work with me and i always end up saying something taken as rude or making inappropriate eye contact or making people think I dislike them when I dont.

[@lilkennyz]

Dr Obinyan on KZbin cured me from autism,after receiving treatment from him for 3weeks,I am now totally free from autism,I am forever grateful to him💯🙏🥰🥰

[@nataliegist2014]

I'm dyslexic ADHD. And now self-diagnosed autistic. I wished I would have gotten help when I was a child.

[@shellzbeep3691]

I'm the same I was diagnosed with ADHD and Dislexic as a kid but I didn't know why I struggled with things as a kid and as a ki there was no surport for kids like me today the surport is better and a lot more people understand and recognise, until my child was diagnosed that I understand more about myself It does help to know even if you are self diagnosis is helpful.

[@shellzbeep3691]

Also I have been diagnosed as a adult and re diagnosed as ADHD because when you become a adult you need to get re diagnosed. Be proud of it be you.

[@datamusic4923]

Really interesting talk. I've realised over the last year I'm likely neurodiverse. I've worked in Science/engineering fields, so it was never too difficult to fit in. In my early career I worked in very male environments, as the only female, so a lot of differences I'd have attributed to being of the opposite sex. I recently considered if I should pursue a diagnosis, but have decided its not important for me, and like Cathie I'm not sure I'd get the diagnosis. But learning more about autism has helped me understand the auditory processing issues I have are likely linked.

[@ladystardust2008]

I too had auditory issues - as a child. Of the few medical records I have managed to retrieve there is proof of my hospital treatment as a small child. Really curious to see what my assessor makes of them

[@paxtonanthonymurphy3733]

Purple Ella, I love the moniker you've chosen. Btw: purple is my favorite color.

[@MerrilyMerrilyMerrily]

Years ago I had a boyfriend who was driving me completely spare. Three people said that’s oh that’s just his Aspergers. Que? So I looked it up. Out of curiosity I did the self test online and got a score of 34, (oh that’s good, I’m not norma!) I had no ‘control’ group so I got two male friends to do the test and they both scored 14. Oh dear..This was 8 years ago and I was 50. I’ve recently been professionally diagnosed as Autistic with possible ADHD. The official diagnosis wasn’t a relief because I was pretty certain I had autism. When I grew up, a diagnosis of autism suggested a non-verbal young boy, who was in a pretty bad way and unable to be helped much, just managed. Up until I looked up Aspergers I had no idea, people like me, existed, now I know there are lots and we’re all the same whilst being completely different. My family more or less reject the idea that my autism means anything other than another one of my ‘crazy’ notions. I have MDD & frankly I’m a bit pissed off with the humans who have been in my life thus far. I have mostly withdrawn from the world. It’s not great, but I am more than wary of people generally.

[@2brothers21]

I’m trying to get a medical diagnosis so my family will take it seriously. I’m not very hopeful. It’s glaring that you can self identify in areas like gender and/or sexuality but not autism.

[@ruusamaantytar]

Thank you for this. I am in the situation where I wonder if I should try to get diagnosis or not. I am 46 years old woman living in Finland.

[@1234kingconan]

Finding out about ASD and Asperger’s explained so much in me that I always blamed myself for. Why I preferred being alone, could never read a room, never felt comfortable around people, always felt like I was pretending to be a certain character and performing socially in order to appear normal which is so draining I just found ways to avoid it altogether. Then I started slowly sharing it with people and someone denied it and argued with me because I didn’t get a professional diagnosis. I don’t want or need a professional diagnosis. I could get one but what good would it do but please him? He’d probably still keep doubting me anyway.

[@Laurosim]

if you fit the criteria for the diagnosis of autism (social interaction and communication deficits along with restrictive and repeative patterns interests and routines) from a very young age and then on top of that you have traits and characteristics then I think it’s fine to identify as autistic. If you ONLY have traits and characteristics and not the diagnosis criteria then that is not autism and you should look at other possibilities like ADHD, SPD, OCD etc ❤️

[@helenayamez]

Well said. I think people need to be signposted to the DSM-5 when thinking about self diagnosis because you have to comply with specific criteria. It's the starting point or many people will be incorrectly diagnosing themselves. Yo Samdy Sam has an excellent video explaining the DSM-5 in layman's terms. I have to add that I think the DSM-5 is restrictive and should be rewritten but it's what the medical profession uses for diagnosis together with examination of other traits, so what can you do.

[@Laurosim]

@@helenayamez Yes absolutely- and also the ICD11 which seems to get forgotten about online a lot but that is the diagnostic manual used in the UK and some other countries. I see some people who downplay autism as JUST a neurotype, this is harmful to autistic people who struggle and have high support needs due to being autistic. I think language is very important here and people really need to be careful and be mindful that, actually, although it might seem like 'most autistic people can function well' that is not accurate representation for all autistics both online and offline.

[@engeng216]

The DSM5 is extremely problematic, so it's a bit ridiculous to claim someone isnt autistic because they don't see themselves specifically in the DSM

[@Laurosim]

@@engeng216 that’s literally the diagnostic criteria to be diagnosed with autism (in countries that use the DSM V). I do personally think that particular one needs some updating, however until that happens it is harmful to try and change the diagnostic criteria within a small community to fit a narrative that is not necessarily true to the condition itself. Unfortunately quite a many people “want” to be autistic which is a strange “trend” but it means that people are trying to change what being autistic means to make it more “universal”. It’s a very bizarre phenomenon actually. I’m not sure if it’s happened to other conditions in the past.

[@engeng216]

@@Laurosim people are not trying to change what autism is, they are trying to have their neurotype recognised . The DSM didn't even think autism and adhd could exist in the same body until the 2013 version. It didn't account for masking in the past either. The criteria it looks for are generally external behaviours, not innate traits of being autistic. Please stop trying to gatekeep people who know they are autistic, even though there may be a tiny proportion of people who "want" to be autistic. The DSM is trash.

[@Bethherzz]

I really hope i can find my right place that will make things easier overall. I hope i get there one day

[@1234kingconan]

It’s like they think they’re helping by denying what you say about yourself. But finding out about my ASD traits was helpful for me not hurtful. It’s hurtful to have my experience not believed.

[@jamesbarras3834]

when my autistic friend first brought it up they said exactly “you know you’re autistic don’t you”

[@bassbint72]

God this is so relatable

[@jackd.rifter3299]

I'm self-diagnosed 5 years later after 8 different therapists wanted me to be assessed but I didn't think there was any reason or way because "I would know" and I honestly think that is a good example, because if you're not even willing to look at the evidence then there's no way you would be able to consider the possibility. It starts with you I think.

[@JD96893]

my story is very similar to your friend's.

[@dannismith7207]

Im not sure if this helps but i think the word you may of been looking for is "gatekeeping" in regards to identifying as autistic. Ive heard the term in other context and in seemed to be the word you were trying to think of, if that helps at all. Also thankyou for sharing your content, and this video as well, its just been so helpful for understanding and accepting myself and how i am ❤❤❤