being in your 20s sucks

writing music is sometimes too hard so i must resort to other ways of oversharing online
follow me u stinkers!!! (only if u want to)
www.mxmtoon.com
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my.community.com/mxmtoon

[@margoalex.]

It feels like this video was made just for me. I’m 20 years old, about to turn 21 soon. I graduated high school in 2020 at the beginning of the pandemic and didn’t get a ceremony with all my friends. I never got to say goodbye to them and wish them well. Instead, I just watched thousands of people die from the isolation of my iPhone. Although I did eventually go to college and meet a ton of people, I find myself constantly fighting the urge to isolate myself in the corner of my dorm room, curled up with some squishmallows and KZbin video essays to drown out the rest of the world. Hell, even the jealousy over Olivia Rodrigo you mentioned resonates with me. I couldn’t look at her Instagram photos for months on end until I finally listened to her song “jealousy, jealousy” and realized that she could easily feel the same about me if we met each other. It’s pretty miserable and lonely out here for all of us but I find comfort in knowing I’m not the only one. So, thank you for that.

[@mxmtoon]

sending you loads of love. wish there was some sort of guidebook for how to transition into adulthood during a pandemic :( we're all figuring it out. if it's any consolation, i spend a lot of my time also curled up with my squishmallows and video essays! it's okay to have a safe space just for yourself

[@margoalex.]

@@mxmtoon you’re an absolute sweetheart thank you so much angel

[@aisadal2521]

Tell me about it, you feel too old while feeling too young at the same time, and remembering yesteryears just hurts you right in the feels 😮‍💨

[@lsaideOK]

I am 62 and my 20's was the worst decade of my life. Not until my 30s did things settle down and life has only gotten better since. I guess all you can do for now is enjoy the roller coaster. One concrete suggestion I can make is to read Tao Te Ching by Lao Tsu. If you haven't already. Beautiful poetry. May get you out of what if thinking. Also watch Back to the Future: the future is yet to be written.

[@mxmtoon]

love the suggestion for a classical chinese text and and iconic 80s movie! thank you for this :-)

[@jaysouthmusic8230]

My mom has told me that life does get better with time and I can relate when it comes to being in my 20s. I don’t even miss being a teenager cause I been through so much bs

[@colaaddict782]

thats because you are a man, women are different.. they dont age well like men... they lose their beauty and fertility while we men gain ressources and become a real man.

[@fastturtle135]

I loved this video. I’m 20 and feel like I have no real direction in life. This year I did find a major that I resonate with and I’m excited for my future for once in my life. But I still feel like a child in an adult world and have no clue what to do. But it’s always nice to hear others are relating

[@mxmtoon]

i get the sense that everyone kinda feels like they're cosplaying as an adult all the time :) so glad you found a major that you're excited about. sending you lots of luck!

[@eliana-hv9ej]

maia, are we the same person?? this honestly comforts me so much and I feel less alone. ive looked up to you for so many years now (you've been my inspiration on so many aspects of my life, and have remained my favorite artist throughout) and I want you to know that you are SO STRONG for putting up with life and all the bs that comes with it. seriously ily

[@mxmtoon]

thank you elaina :')

[@jusong]

9:36 it’s crazy because I was going to comment that you (as well as other artists like Conan Gray, dodie, etc) are one of the people that I would look up to thinking: “man I really dig their style and they seem to have their own musical style I wish I had that”. I’m 25 (turning 26 this year oof) and I went to university. Even though I am grateful for the experience, I still can’t help feeling like I’m “falling behind” when I am still in the process to release my first produced song in my late twenties, compared to other artists like you that have made music and established themselves younger. It weirdly reassuring to see that you were yearning for things that I have taken for granted like going to college, almost echoing it in a way I yearned for your experiences in your music career (the grass is truly greener on the other side lmaao). Thank you for opening up and making this video! :’)

[@margoalex.]

reading this is so comforting because it put into words exactly how I’ve been feeling as a college student who hasn’t gotten to properly pursue music like I wanted to

[@mxmtoon]

the grass really is greener LOL, and you are absolutely not falling behind! i know a piece of my video is about that feeling and how i experience it myself haha, but i can confidently say there is no rush for you. i think it's incredible that people find their ways towards creative endeavors or forms of art at any point in their life, and we always have the opportunity to change what we are passionate about as well. 25 is in fact incredibly young, which just gives you all the more time to keep pursuing what you love, even if it feels hard at times. i can't speak for dodie or conan, but i'm sure both of them feel this same things too, after all it's only human. good luck with your music releases

[@jusong]

@@margoalex. we're all in this together!! your comment also resonated with me since I spent my last few years of uni in zoom and isolating myself watching random video essays or cat videos lmao

[@jusong]

@@mxmtoonahhh thank you so much for taking the time responding my comment!! :o i discovered your music in 2020, and "unspoken words" is one of my favorite songs of yours - funny enough the song that i'm releasing soon had some influence from your song lol (as well as other songs from other artists of course). I'm always grateful for inspiring me to push my artistic endeavors and helping me get closer to discovering my own artistic voice and style! i hope that you’re able to figure things out in your twenties (i was a mess when i was your age, but things got a bit better afterwards) 💚

[@margoalex.]

@@jusong ahhh the good old fashioned zoom classes 🙃 easily my least favorite thing about initial lockdown was being forced to take economics online *sigh* if we have to suffer at least we can suffer together

[@ariasaber9737]

Hey, you're definitely not alone. I'm not in my 20s just yet, but I will be in May. I'm struggling a lot with mental health and not knowing what I want to do in life. I'm failing college lol. Just working a retail job and being confused. I know I want to do something in the arts but I have no motivation whatsoever for pursuing it, and I feel like it's too late to start now and there would be no point because so many better people are already doing it. I've always thought that artists and musicians had it all figured out, and that they were living their dreams, but I guess that's not true for all of them. While it is sad, finding out that i'm not alone, and even some of the people who are where I want to be are also struggling with this feeling is oddly comforting. But now i'm afraid that if I manage to pursue and succeed in the arts, this feeling won't go away after all. Sorry if this was a weird comment.

[@mxmtoon]

having a desire to be creative but not the motivation is such a suffocating feeling :( i'm so sorry you're carrying that right now. we're always our own worst critics and it's easy to feel like what we want to make isn't something worth it, but if it means something to you that's all the more reason to go for it. art is extremely subjective, and while it's VERY easy to feel like everyone else around you is just doing a better job and making things more meaningful, it's worth realizing that someone else could think those same things about what you create. as for worrying that the feeling won't go away even if you succeed, i won't lie, it doesn't fully (at least in my own experience so far). BUT i think we're both just young and finding out how to build our confidence and that will happen with time. who knows, maybe in five years i won't feel this way nearly as much, so i just hold out some hope that future me is better off :) i'm sure future you will be looking out for yourself as well.

[@iamjustjoshing]

As much as being in your 20s can suck sometimes, I'm still getting really scared about the fact that those years are rapidly approaching their end. I'm turning 27 in less than a month, and I feel overwhelmed by this sense that there are a bunch of big things that I need to have done by now, but I haven't... and what's more, I don't even know how to figure out what those things are, so that I can do them. I feel like I'm supposed to have more of an idea of who I am, but I feel more confused than when I started my 20s.

[@mxmtoon]

as much as my own video is a vent, i do truly believe the idea of a "big" thing is subjective. you've made it so far, and hopefully you'll have much more time to go beyond 27! i think it's okay to be lost (although it doesn't make it any less frustrating), because we hopefully have time to figure it out as we go. maybe we just get more comfortable with the unknown.

[@drewmaster2002]

dude, i’m 26, turning 27 later this year and i’m feeling all of the things you’re describing right now. welcome to the club :)

[@lowbeeman]

You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I felt that way in my 20s and over the years the questioning of your life and your future doesn't go away, but the kinds of questions you ask yourself change. It can get heavier but as you discover more about yourself and how you see yourself fitting into your environment you get better at figuring out which way to go next and then put one foot in front of the other. Finding moments of happiness and holding onto them is really important. So is meditation, or simply taking the time to be still and centered. Aloha!

[@maddie4329]

i compare myself to people all the time and i know it’s bad so my self esteem but i honestly can’t help it. i see people from high school who have their own house, moved across the country, and have children while im 20 and still live with my dad. i feel like i have a panic attack every single day about my future and what im doing with my life. im in college, but i do my classes online so the only social interaction i get is from work or online, which i know isn’t healthy but the only friend i have lives across the country. and although i am getting a degree i know there is no guarantee i’ll be able to get a job in the field i’ve chosen or if this is even the career i want. I know i’m not alone in these feelings but it feels so isolating.

[@mxmtoon]

comparison is a killer, it eats us all up and leaves nothing left. it's hard to be in a world filled with people and aware that you're not the only person going through something, but look around and feel like you are. i made it about 2 months when i moved out of my parent's house and then went back because of covid, but more so because of my mental health. i was 20 :') right now i'm in a similar boat as you with my social life, i only get to talk to my friends over discord because they're all on the other side of the country, or i see my managers for work a few times a month, and that's about it. it's really lonely, but i try to tell myself this isn't forever. we're all just in this weird space right now where the world is adjusting to a new normal, but we as a generation also haven't necessarily been set up for success, so it's that much harder to bounce back. but we're still here and we're showing up every single day, and that alone is something to be proud of. life is really scary, but we're gonna figure it out. we're all just pretending to have it together at the end of the day, if we strip back those facades i think we may find it easier to feel less alone.

[@rosaellie5064]

I feel this so much, I'm 22 years old. I've moved away far away from my family. I'm pursuing an artistic career and I also didn't go to college. Every day I question whether I made the right choice. Sometimes I feel like I have no confidence in my abilities as an actress and writer, and I feel so confused.. Thank you. Really appreciate your music and this video.

[@v.eronica]

thank you so much for making a video about this, it feels like this video speaks to me and is perfect for me right now and my current situation. I've been terrified about turning 20 for a long time now, so seeing a video like this right now (especially since I just turned 20 on Sunday) is very relatable and comforting for me. I hope we can all figure things out soon and that our lives can eventually fall more into place for us, it all really sucks but I'm glad we at least aren't fully alone in these feelings/ what we're going through. sending virtual hugs to whoever needs it, I hope things get better for you soon🫂💗💗

[@janet7250]

You don't really know how much I needed to hear this. I'm 22 as well, and most of the time I feel like I should have done "something important" in life by now. Makes me feel anxious that I'm just there standing by while everything and everyone are moving too fast. So thanks for making this video, realizing I'm not alone gives motivation and hope for the future. 🥺

[@alayahjw]

i’m 20 and finishing up my 3rd year of uni rn. i compare myself to ppl all the time and then i remember i’m so young and in my 3rd year!! that’s kinda crazy. i’m sure many ppl are envious of that like how i’m envious of other things ppl my age have done. i think almost everyone’s lost and faking it lol.

[@taelor30]

I'm the same, I am so not ready to graduate next year 🤧

[@mxmtoon]

we're def all faking it hahah

[@omarkhatib4204]

I’m a 23 year old dude, and I find this extremely relatable. P.S prom dress is an excellent song to listen to while lifting.

[@bri-fu5zs]

this video brought me so much comfort and love for maia. i’m only a teenager that’s nearing the end of high school and i’ve been comparing myself to others all my life, thinking i was never good enough to be on their level of success and confidence. college seems so scary due to the fact that i don’t want to make the wrong choice. making this essentially life long decision at a young age is so scary. i’ve always felt that pressure of needing to know what i want to do in life from adults. i’m so glad you posted this video because it will definitely help tons of others relate to this exact situation regardless of their age

[@Jules-gm8wx]

Spoke to me so much as a 21 year old guy. I'm super socially anxious so I've never been in a relationship, I'm always comparing myself to others and feeling lesser, i feel no passion for what I do and in general am just having a hard time with finding myself and feeling like I'm behind in life experiences. I appreciate hearing that other people go through similar things and I'm not just some alien who doesn't belong.

[@mxmtoon]

you absolutely belong! we both have time to figure our shit out, and we will. there's no right or wrong time for things, but it sucks to wait for certain aspects or feel rushed on others. we can do this though!

[@georgia6502]

Maia, you're timing is impeccable - you put into words exactly how i feel, the whole 17 minutes ❤

[@ionrsm]

stay strong mxmtoon, it isn’t fun in the slightest to be going through one of the most formative periods of your life under such pressure to succeed and excel but given how stacked the odds can be against young adults right now, we are doing very well. even when you feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself, it’s still you in there. you’ll always be true to yourself and what you want to stand for. hang in there

[@mxmtoon]

thank you for this :')

[@muori1094]

Feel you, girl. We're all allowed to have feelings, even pity, jealous, confused ones. You're never alone. We love u.

[@tristanfunk6935]

I can relate. Just know you have a lot of people who support you unconditionally. You have made an astounding impact on my life and I can't thank you enough. Thank you so so much Maia!

[@hutchio]

I'm 18, turning 19 in a few weeks & I can't cope with it. I really struggle with the fact I haven't achieved any of the '18 year old achievements', like getting a licence, graduating school (I dropped out at 16), getting a job, having a relationship or even a first kiss. My mental illness basically paused my life when I turned 16, everything kinda hit a wall & I haven't been able to get better since. I was in & out of hospital or severely depressed in my room while I watched all my friends graduate year 10 then year 12 (Australian schooling), get their licence, get jobs, get accepted into university courses, find long term relationships. I never minded it because I was so happy they were all achieving so much & I never planned to achieve much myself anyway because I always thought I'd be dead by 18, but as 19 creeps up I realise how much not being able to achieve those things effects me. I'm glad I've still had good experiences, like seeing you live in Melbourne, getting tattoos, going out & drinking with friends (legal drinking age is 18 here). But the fear of time slipping away is daunting even when I know I'm still so so young & there's so many years ahead.

[@mxmtoon]

oh my friend, i so understand how you feel. i didn't go to college, i didn't have my first kiss until i was nearly 20, and i'm 22 now and i still can't drive a car or have my license! you're gonna be okay, and i am so proud of you for making it this far. getting older is terrifying, and thinking of what to do with an entire lifetime is ... also terrifying. but you even mentioned the moments of joy you've been able to have despite the fear. you and i both are going to go see so many more concerts, get silly or meaningful tattoos, and share drinks and stories with friends who most likely feel that same fear of time slipping away. if achieving things is something you realize is important to you, go for it. don't let the fear of how old you may be deter you from chasing a dream. i'll probably be 30 by the time i can drive a car, but i'm sure the panic and joy i will experience from passing (but most likely failing) a driving test will be the same as it would have been if i was 16.

[@hutchio]

@mxmtoon my heart, hearing this from someone so successful, beautiful & talented that i idolise is so meaningful. when i saw the notification my heart skipped a beat, you are such a wholesome person & i can tell no matter how famous you get (which you deserve so much recognition for your talent & personality), you'll never lose that realness. one of my favourite moments from your concert was you talking to individuals in the crowd, taking someone's bereal & just how much it felt like a family in there despite being a sold out crowd. i love you & thank you for taking time to respond - means the world 💗

[@beu7990]

im actually in my freshman year of high school + have 2 months of being a freshman but watching your video made me realize that it doesn't get any better as you get older, i mean it can but the stress is still there. i really thought being in your 20s meant more stability mentally, academically, socially, etc but i see now that thats really just over-romanticization. i hope things get better for everyone who's feeling lost

[@markusstenson6681]

thanks for this video - it helped me more than you could probably know. so weird to feel a race against time when you've only essentially just started your life. I feel so alienated wanting to socialize more but it always seems that it has to be through some big event or party surrounded by people you don't know with a fuck ton of alcohol in the mix for whatever reason. The constant feeling of knowing what you could potentially be but always unable to start the path of becoming that person. my head feels likes it's in a constant haze of uneasiness, indecision, and social anxiety. thanks again - a fellow 22 year old

[@mustafaalaaelden3555]

Thank you for talking about this, I'm 23 and it was a relief to hear out some of my struggles on someone else's tongue, so know that you're not alone with this, I think 20s is a really volatile time for everyone because you've just passed teenage time which is even more volatile and you'll be like figuring out your life and what you really want. Maybe not going to college at least now is a good thing you know, I recently have been dealing with gf drama and I don't know if it's gonna work out anymore and college has been my main source of stress lately so most of the time I'm sad, overthinking, "What Ifs" and all.... Anyways I really loved that you talked about this, I hope you figure things out and keep being yourself, you're amazing! :D 3>

[@gnome_friend5281]

Finding a personal direction while the world keeps veering off course is really frustrating. I'll be 24 in a month and still haven't figured out a path towards having the effect I want to. I hope our generation can collectively help each other recover and move forward.

[@joshuakolak3358]

THIS. this this this. I am turning 22 this year, and I feel like my life hasn't progressed since Covid. I felt so reconnected when I joined your discord, honestly those days were the fondest during that time. Hanging out with the community helped me get through the day. But now, it feels like everyone around me has returned to real life or something. I feel like I should get over the pandemic and pretend like nothing happened. I look up to everyone around me, my girlfriend, my friends, my family, I feel like time is just progressing around me, and I'm just watching my future vanish along with them.

[@creepi0n]

thank you for doing this video, i feel so lost in this world and it helps to hear that others are having the same struggles as i have, it honestly made me tear up a bit :x i really appreciate your music and it helped me so much in the past years, ty :D

[@nomiuwu]

i don’t miss being in my early 20s, it was the period of being lost, failure and eventually figuring out how to be more compassionate to myself. mid 20s has been treating me better.

[@jaysouthmusic8230]

I can relate

[@LadyVentress0617]

Its so interesting how we live completely different lives, but we can relate to every word in this video. We're all collectively having the same human experience, at different stages of our lives and i think thats mind blowing. I am going to be 30 this year, and i resonated with this, with every fiber of my being. Thank you so much for sharing this moment of vulnerability with us❤

[@thornessa]

thank you for voicing your concerns out, i found so much comfort in your words. i am 25, and i feel like i’m old enough to know what i’m doing with my life, but i feel no older than 18. the world feels like a place that doesn’t tolerate people who aren’t at the top of their game, and i feel the constant pressure of having to be on top of everything to be even relevant. my friends are busier than ever, everyone is moving ahead with their lives, and i just feel left behind, a misfit in this world.

[@neptunianheart]

Thank you for being so vulnerable. Please make more videos this was great

[@savannaowo]

Watching so many of my friends get older while I stay behind is making me realize everything is moving too fast, and even with my friends younger than me, I feel like i’m leaving them behind and i’m just stuck between it all with wanting to do everything yet nothing at once. Your not alone we. love you. 💛

[@HardyOh]

I really appreciate your genuine energy, being vulnerable and sharing your story. Being in your 20s... I remember my 20s and I remember I was a still a child. I'm coming to my 40s (now a dad). I think the most important thing is to continue to share your story (non-story is still A STORY). The biggest thing is, what you feel, the wasting, the pressure to be extraordinary, the envious feelings, what you're showing on KZbin (and geez, literally I stumbled upon you because I was playing Life is Strange: True Colors and finding your cast credit as the Alex's singing voice) is the most human thing ever. You're 22, you haven't had a typical life of a 22 year old. You aren't alone. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us stinkers.

[@hhehehe]

this is very odd, ive been sort of in an isolated environment that started at the ripe age of 14, and im 19 this year, most of it wasnt covid, and some of it was, youre totally describing the same war i go back and forth with, i can move on now somewhat, ive accepted that i cant socialise much and im waiting for the day i can start, something that grounds me when i get upset over the lack of socialisation over the years is your music to be honest, it surprised me that were similar in age and made me sort of comforted ;D were all confused but as long as we dont get lost in it we should be okay- i hope, thank you for your music and talking about your experience!!

[@henriqueabreu9706]

Trust me, you're not alone. I will turn 26 this year and I feel like I have a countdown to my 30s, and that my opportunities are disappearing as it approaches. But I need to remember myself that everything has it's time. We cannot rush anything. But it's hard sometimes 🥲

[@asummersdayinawintersnight4585]

Same I'm turning 26 in April and I feel like I have to talk myself up so I'm not constantly in a depressed state. It's crazy! We aren't old and It shouldn't matter if we are. We have a lot of life left to live.❤❤

[@introvertedmadness]

maia this video was so relatable!!!! i also have 4 friends, am extremely jealous of olivia rodrigo, and am worried about the world exploding in 40 years lmfao. i felt the end too when you were saying how the world just seems so BAD nowadays. i find it really easy to slip into these patterns of just seeing the negative and wondering what's the point of it all, but i tell myself i have to be brave and look for the good stuff in life. thank u for sharing ur thoughts, watching ur video and reading the comments here makes me feel like we're not alone and we're gonna make it :)

[@sana-ns2ve]

you're not alone, you're not ungrateful, the world sucks, life is lonely and short, friends are rare, BUT we're still kicking so always be looking up

[@kengodwin4360]

Im so sorry your feeling that way, sending love, and wishing for healing.❤

[@daltonallen7625]

Really needed this, love hearing that you and alot of people here in the comments are going through the same thing

[@Emily-ti4tk]

Thank you for sharing, It means alot. I also feel lost and miserable most of the time. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just trying to survive. It's easy to feel the need to improve all the time. Just know that you're not a self improvement project. You don't need to do anything, who you are right now is enough.

[@Janis_Valerio]

I knew i related to you and your music for a reason! Its incredible how our worlds are so different and yet, we are going through the same thing.

[@lukeaaron2884]

You just described my life at the moment 🥲 being a young artists with particularly shitty social skills and imposter syndrome is the kiss of death I stg

[@possumlover4ever]

I'm 14 and I've been told I'm mature my whole life. I'm always super stressed about getting my life plan worked out, even while I'm so young. I found this video super comforting. It's nice to know that it's okay to not have things figured out. We still have the rest of our lives ahead of us. Thank you Maia, I doubt you'll ever read this but you and your music mean so much to me ♥️ Take your time y'all

[@demidevil666]

The worrying and trying to figure oneself out never stops, I'm afraid. I am 31 years old and am riddled with guilt over a decision I made back as a teenager. The decision not to pursue music as a career. Instead I studied a meaningless degree and work a soulless corporate job that squeezes my life force out of me. Everyday I regret that I did not give my true calling in life a fair chance. I can only say that I admire your courage, to have insisted on walking your own self-created path.

[@angnorq]

This is why you're my favorite artist Maia, you don't shy away from topics such as this and I'm grateful that you don't. I just turned 20 and already feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm glad that someone of your level is able to speak up and say that many ppl feel that way, even you. Take all the time that you need! :)

[@ceridwenmillington3955]

Thanks for sharing this Maia! I'm 30 and have had a start to 2023 with many similar thoughts, and I think maybe only this week I'm starting to get some clarity after perhaps the toughest few months I've had. One thing you deserve to compliment yourself on is that you're processing all of this now. I have only really just started trying to figure out what went wrong in my late teens and most of my 20s. The main way that I'm navigating my way through things is by practicing some more self-forgiveness, as the what ifs for me are always linked to what I've mistakenly seen as failure. Reading, learning, getting new viewpoints and trying new things is the other approach I'm trying to lean into. My world has recently felt like it's imploding because I've tried to control the uncontrollable, and I find my anxiety about my place in the world is lessened when I throw myself into it more.

[@echgee98]

This video resonates with me so much. I am a 21 year old music major in college, so my schedule is just constantly busy with rehearsals and classes and on top of that I'm expected to practice hours a day. I always knew that I wanted to do music (and teach it). But I'm a person that craves balance in my life. Like you said, all I want in life is to be able to provide for my family, have a home, and a small garden (and a couple dogs and cats). My whole life I've been so plagued with comparing myself to others, which has faded my true sense of identity. I genuinely don't know who I would be or what I would want if I didn't compare myself to others. Would I have the drive to become a better musician? Would I dress and present the way that I do? What would my relationships be like? I've always been a dreamer, and that's why it's so scary to me when I question whether or not I want to do music. I've always dreamed that one day I'll become the musician I've always wanted to be, and that I'll pass down my knowledge to future generations. But now that I'm in it and actually working towards it, it's just so exhausting. And on top of that, by being decent at my instrument, there's the added high expectation from my professors and those around me to always do more. But sometimes I just can't get myself to. And I don't think that's because I don't care, in fact I care a whole lot about everything I do, but I just become so debilitated by the weight of these expectations and everything else going on in my life. But who knows, the world might end in about 30 years! Nothing matters!

[@Valentino016]

I love the music you make its so calming 🖤

[@juliacsdresch]

it's so nice to hear you saying this... i feel like it's really difficult to put into words what we're feeling, this constant struggle that we need to have everything figured it out. i'm just tired of thinking everyone's better than me. i'm tired of it all. also, i feel like we're supposed to feel this way cause we're in our twenties and this means we're adults, but i dont think i am an adult yet - but i'm not a teenager anymore either. oh god this sucks

[@7-bitdillpickle203]

I really feel and relate to the points you made in this video. My goal in life is to be singer/musician or whatever that can support myself through my work. And i see people my age like mckenna grace. I mean she's a famous actor who makes amazing music and she's my age. Or billie when she was my age was already signed to a record label and was on Jimmy Fallon. Or even you. Like you are kind of my end game, my current goal. But when I reach a size like you my life still won't be perfect. It might even be worse because of what I choose to do. And if it doesn't work out what am I supposed to do. I just feel like I'm doing nothing in my life and never will.

[@yellowphrog1390]

Maia, you’ve put so many of the things I’ve been thinking about into words. Thank you so much for this, it is really really nice to know that other people feel this way too 💗💕💞

[@mygamertag2010X]

Your ability to make this video and express your personal feelings is impressive in my opinion. Feeling that you're to annoying for people to like you is something I can totally relate to. I'm in my mid 20s and can tell you it does become easier. Other people's expectations start to mean less as you become more of a "proper adult" lol. You're doing fine, keep up the good work and you'll find your way. Thank you for your amazing music 😊

[@natt8599]

I felt that. I'm only 15 but I feel like being in your teenage years now after the pandemic is just so like, EXHAUSTING!! Because there was so much more more I could have done during that time and actually lived. And its like americas still falling apart where its like, how are we gonna live and enjoy whats supposed to be the best parts of your lives if its like actually going downhill? Also yeah, shit is baffling knowing how like in todays standards, right after you graduate from highschool you HAVE to pick a college and career. Which shouldnt be the case because how the hell are you going to think so far down the way when your still so young? And because of these standards, this is why being in your 20's sucks because you've been pushed to get into college and overworking yourself. BUT!! great video Maia lots of luv!!

[@glueyossi]

I feel you. I'm nearing my 20s and it's terrifying. The missing out on time as it flies by is scary. Alsooo the part about women and athletes "expiring" is always rrrr

[@IntoTheEclipse]

I'm only a few minutes in but I'm already tearing up because of how relatable this is. I'm turning 20 this year and I'm already having a hard time just being an adult😭How am I going to handle being in my 20s.. I appreciate how open you are about talking about mental health. It helps remind me I'm not alone and that it's okay to go at my own pace. But lately that's become harder because of society's expectations and how it seems like my friends are moving at a "faster" pace then I am. Some of them already have jobs or are about to get their associate degree and move to a university. It'll take me a few more semesters but I'm okay with that. This is a pace that works for me. But now I have this fear of being left behind. I don't really know how to end this comment so I'll just say, thank you Maia for posting this. Know that you're not alone. There are so many of us who also feel confused and lost.

[@phillipmcguire4158]

Please keep posting videos like these, this helped a lot

[@springjamz]

thank you for this maia!! im 19 and struggling with these exact feelings. i get so stuck when comparing myself to people my age (and i have definitely compared myself to you lmao) i feel like i'm not doing enough, not achieving enough and missing out on my window to do something truly creative and successful :( i haven't started college/university because i also hate the thought of making a decision that determines my life path at this age but i feel like im just wasting away if i don't go at this point. hearing you talk about this is really comforting though! at the end of the day we are all in this together and all we can really do is make choices that will make us happy :) thank you again sending lovveeeee

[@ReisssPieces]

Honestly it was reassuring to know others feel this way. I relate to just about everything you've said, and I'm 26.

[@clairedixon5471]

thank you for saying all this. I’ve been writing music since i was 15, and all my life i have just felt like i was waiting to finally start doing what i love freely. I went to college and wasted 3 years pursuing a major i didn’t even end up liking (the pandemic of course throwing a wrench in it as well), and recently I started taking poetry and writing classes in an attempt to get closer to what I want to do. I’m so jealous of you, and of the other young female artists in the media right now. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had realized sooner that I hated the major i pursued, or if i just dive headfirst into music and writing instead of college like i was expected to. but I agree with you, the choices we make for ourselves are the best ones we could have taken and we just need to keep going with life knowing it will always be hard but also get a little better. I started submitting my poems to local papers, and I finally feel confident enough in my writing and singing to really learn how to produce and bring to life the art I wanna put out there. I’m like you, I’m not sure I want to be hella famous, I just want people to hear me and to be able to support my loved ones in a modest home. So, thank you for saying this. It brings me a lot of comfort to know someone I admire feels the same as I do, even with your success. If you post more rant videos I’ll for sure be watching :)

[@NatCatKitty]

Ahh yes you are absolutely not alone! Just so you know you are one of the people I always look up too and honestly thought always had it all together. You are amazing to me and actually my sister too!

[@bupuwu]

i feel like you've said it all. just know that you are definitely not alone

[@aerins.5044]

I'm never one to comment but I guess I just wanted to say that I appreciate this video and its comments (and your vent, Maia) because it's kind of the rare honest space where the people who don't know wtf they're doing can just say..we don't know what we're doing. To all the people going through the miserable/lonely/directionless twenties, I'm at least glad to see that we're not alone. Even though I'm about to graduate college, I'm still often overwhelmed by the future and by comparisons with people who have a clearer life path. Turns out that even though I thought I knew what I was doing at 18, four years later I still don't know what I'm doing, but now I need to find a job and figure out where I'm going to go(??!). I still struggle with loneliness and feel like I don't have enough friends, but at the same time I hugely relate to having a devastatingly low social battery - would love to meet people but sorry I've got to hermit and play video games today. To Maia, specifically, if you ever see this: I've been following you since I heard feelings are fatal (god knows when that was) and you're sincerely one of my favorite artists (out of two) because you are so genuine. It was so amazing to watch you go from KZbin to releasing eps to going on tour(!) and yes, you have done a lot and it's honestly inspiring and 100% something to be proud of. But also so goddamn fair for you to think about what ifs, and compare, and not know what comes next. That's what makes us human, I guess? Definitely still sucks though. All to say, I have so much admiration and respect for you, for your career but also just because you're super honest about who you are. No words of wisdom here either but... you're definitely not alone, and hopefully one day we'll get out of this awful stage of our lives :")

[@littlewitchParker3]

Maia, I love your music! I love you. I'm definitely subscribing to your channel.

[@beach2118]

this video helped me in a way. A successful young artist who I always thought has figured their life out, but still struggles the same as me is kind off comforting.

[@strawberrycats6880]

hello maia!! i just wanted to say that this video really resonated a lot with me. i’m still in my teens but i’ve been struggling lately with feeling really isolated and comparing myself a lot to other people and I guess it just makes me feel less alone to hear that you’re feeling that too. lots of love to you

[@yourfriendm00n71]

As someone who’s turning 21 this year and is also a fellow musician/creative I completely felt everything you said! I’ve been here since plum blossom and I loved all the topics you brought to light! I recently wrote a song about capitalism and how it feels like we are living in a algorithmic hell and all the stuff going on in the world (it’s not out yet). Thank you for being so honest in a sea full of uncertainty and chaos. I see nothing but good things in your future! Keep pushing forward although things might be hard right now. I hope you have a good rest of your day

[@sambags6067]

This is so down to earth and comforting!

[@blueberry_lemon]

You're not alone. I really appreciate you making this video, because I can relate to so much. It makes me feel less alone! Comparing yourself to others is SO EASY. Recent Olympics have gotten hard to watch, and I envy my Sims' careers! I'm one year your senior, and if I've learned anything from third-wheeling with my mom and her friends, it's that we always have problems. The weight of something will always be there. We just get better at managing it and finding/making the good in life. Being optimistic is hard and problems suck. And no matter how small, good things to look forward to help. Like, I feel directionless and ambitionless and I can do a little cross-stitch bird. I saw a squirrel dig up nuts in my dad's garden. This made me remember a list I started recently on a bad day at like 2am titled "good things that happened in my 20s" and it's not much but it's still good things! "1) I like pie now! 2) Sewing! 3) Baking!" Things out of my control are happening but nobody can stop me from making bagels at 11pm. That last sentence started as me trying to wrap up my thoughts but ended as a plot

[@timothyjohnson6445]

I’m 20, (I just turned 20 a week ago) and I was a sophomore in high school when COVID happened and a senior in high school when I went back to school and the next I knew, my graduation was here. I graduated last year, and ever since then, I feel like I have no direction, I have no friends, no money, no support, and my health is flatlining (physically and mentally). This video describes exactly how I feel. Thank you, Maia.

[@CupOfPetrichor]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Maia! You are not alone, and I think many people will feel less alone watching your video. I went to college and am currently 26, but I resonate a lot with the experiences and feelings you've expressed. It was extremely isolating and difficult transitioning out of college and into full-time employment, and then having the pandemic start less than a year after my graduation cancelled a bunch of plans, eventually caused me to be laid off, and obviously threw everything into chaos. I think over the past few years, I have made a huge effort to detach myself as much as I can from feeling pressure to follow a mainstream societal timeline for my life, but of course, easier said than done, and I also feel a lot of pressure from immediate family and from myself. However, I think the pandemic allowed me to do this somewhat because I can point to it and say, duh, this changed the entire world as we know it and has fundamentally altered the future--what makes you think I have the same priorities or outlook as before? Also, I recently met up with an acquaintance from college, and when we caught each other up on what we've been doing post-grad (changing jobs, figuring out what we like and don't like, NOT going to med school lol), and she revealed that she thought I had everything put together and knew exactly what I wanted, I was shocked. I said that's pretty much how I viewed her and that I'd slightly resented her whenever I saw her around campus because I thought she was annoyingly put together (cue flashback and "Must Be Nice" by Will Jay haha). Anyway, while I don't always have the capacity, I do try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and more times than not, I find that they are struggling in their own ways, too. Wow, this is long, but if anyone reads this, I wish you well!! 💜

[@tealer7237]

Why did I watch this whole thing without pausing? Gosh you have the best wisdom and advice MAIA!!!

[@benclifton95]

Honestly the best advice you could've given was exactly what you said in this video. Just to know that we're not alone with these feelings, and even "famous" people such as yourself feel them too helps more than you know. My 20's have been a train wreck for my mental and physical health, but now I'm nearing the end of them I'm hoping things start to get back on track, and not have this pressure of having to do all these things whilst we're still "young". I've always wondered what it would've been like to go to university, or go for the job I turned down, but instead have just stumbled through life in retail pretty unfulfilled. But I'm gonna try and keep my head up in the hopes that things do get better and I can achieve some of my goals 🙂 Thanks for the pep talk Maia, much love!

[@nikolaiquack8548]

Can't begin to tell you how fucking glad I am that you made this video. Also bestie, you are looking so fine! You're doing great 💜

[@rox2001]

maia is so relatable i love it. As a college senior, im telling you i havent made any stable friends because of my social anxiety and the pandemic hitting. Being in your 20s in this generation is so weird and new cause we're not doing what previous generations were doing ... and a lot of us are just healing

[@ShakeyJakey25]

I don't even know what I'm doing right now, so I kinda feel that feeling of being completely lost. I think it is all about just staying confident and proud of yourself (which I get is hard to do), but when it comes to not knowing what is happening around you in this lost feeling portion of your life, I feel sometimes it is best to act like you know what you are doing, and just throw yourself at things with full confidence. I think the only other thing that i can say is don't forget that you make songs and people have absolutely loved it so far, so take some pride in that awesome accomplishment, you got this bro!

[@cristelljimenez3504]

I understand how you feel. I have been feeling the same way. I just turned 22 and I have been in college since I graduated high school. I always sought academic validation and that contined to now. I feel so stuck because I just can't seem to achieve my goals and finish my degree. All of my friends are going to graduate this year and I don't even know when I will because of how much I have been struggling with school and other personal issues. I feel so old yet I know I am still so young but that feeling of not doing enough or feeling like a disappointment is still there. You video helped me realize that not enough people talk about their struggles and it just makes it seem more isolating.

[@specsNsarcasm]

Hey Maia, I love your overall aesthetics btw and your music is dope too. i have recently gotten out of a major burn out. i was writing about how i think i was ready to quit my crafts a month back; what brought me peace was bringing me hell. i was comparing myself to others and belittling my own achievements and at the same time i was also aware of how i am lucky compared to others. I think its a part of being an artist. to love our art and to dread it. The simplest way to get around is to take a break from it completely. I have been reading How to Steal like an Artist by Austin Kleon. I think you will find some comfort in that book. although it is curated specially for beginner artist but a soft reminder helps to rekindle with what you love. I hope you get through this soon enough and hope it will be easier each time you get another one of these episodes bc it will inevitably come again.

[@limitlessu7980]

I love your music "Plastic Pony!"

[@queenz2415]

Oh, Maia, I wish I could give you a hug. 😭 I was literally feeling the doom and gloom earlier today. I turned 20 literally last month and now that I supposedly have less than a year to figure out where I want to transfer to after community college and what specialty I want to go into, get my driver’s license, maintain my grades, somehow make friends while not having the means to talk to anyone outside of my home because everyone around here are either 10 years older than me or 10 years younger and then my attention span and memory has only gotten worse- It’s just a big f-ing mess. And we’re expected to figure everything out so quickly even though a lot of us are hurting and getting terrifying news thrown at us every. single. day. I’m trying so hard to be optimistic about the future. I tell myself that everyone has lived through uncertain times; that everyone has dealt with the struggle of growing up. But, at the same time, it’s so easy to get caught up in the idea that “it’s never been this bad” and all of these other negative thoughts about the future. Some days I have so much hope and excitement for the future. Other days I ask myself “what’s the point?” and “what would happen if I just stopped trying to keep up with the world and let it all pass around me. What if I just gave up.” I’m the worst person to get advice from with how bad my mental health has been but I try to remind myself to do as much as I can everyday. Do something out of character (even if it’s just a little). I give myself permission to be silly and childish because I didn’t get to be when I was a kid/teen and life is too short to let the opinions of others force you to live a boring existence! This turned into a rant too I guess 💀. I really need to look into those campus counseling services-

[@sn00ze51]

Going to one of your live shows is in my Bucketlist!! You got this toon!! Keep your head up, you in this for a reason and your inspiring people myself including. Ilysmm!!! Again, Keep your head you got this. 💖👏🏼😸

[@sunereensennin7139]

Yeah, i feel this too. Kind of sad actually

[@luisarickli6738]

Oh god, I’m so glad there is someone out there talking about this… I GET YOU! Thanks for sharing, you should do this more often, I love to listen to you :)

[@cookiedragon8234]

Hi Maia! I very much relate to this video. I'm 20 and go to school for psychology, and I actually wrote a whole paper about the "what ifs" caused by COVID! The results showed that you are not alone at all-almost everyone I surveyed had at least one huge event they were looking forward to that had to be canceled, and almost everyone's mental health was negatively impacted. I hope things get better for you soon, and I'm rooting for you ❤️

[@anhapau_]

hiiiiii maia, thank u for always being so relatable

[@eclairlu7586]

Bruh, you literally described what I’m feeling. Hitting the nail on the coffin!! I’m actually so FRIGGEN lost 🥴🥴🥴

[@WinterLuckgg]

I'm nearly 25 and I still haven't figured out how to socialize properly irl. Online I have a few friends but irl I have 1, I had another but she's not here anymore sadly. I wish I could be like hey let's play a game like valorant or something lmao but as someone who used to content create I completely get it. Anyways, yeah socializing in your 20s is rough. The only friend group I had a while back fell apart which left me with nothing since it was around the time of that other friend passing away unfortunately, but now I have a few people I talk to a couple times a day which is nice. All I do is play games or play around in fl studio sometimes now lmao.

[@Ryan-tx8qc]

I'm 21 and I feel a lot of what you say, and I'm currently at College. Even then, I had a bike accident and suffered a long-term concussion (who knows how long it'll go on). I want to say... what you're saying is completely normalized. I have or am having those thoughts all the time and comparison can always be harmful. I started therapy simply because I was comparing myself too much and that caused me so much anxiety. I've had to drop the perfectionist mindset too. Most of it is a distortion as you described. Everyone has their own timelines for the goals they wish to have. After my accident, I felt happy to be alive and well. It's easy to take for granted the simple things. The fact that I can breathe without problems and left a bad accident with only a concussion means a lot to me and I carry those thoughts that there's always worse. Our lives are someone's daydream, which means in a way we are already living a dream. Heck, I AM ALMOST unable to accept this because I have to do so well in my own life yet I've been failing and barely getting by. What I thought I was I'm not and I think it's ok to JUST be. Simply put, being is amazing. I'm so afraid to admit I have no idea what I'm doing these days and I struggle to simply talk to my roommates but I just try. Just try and live a life because we can. It doesn't have to be amazing because it's already a dream.

[@deranged_panda1342]

Honestly, I started crying in like 5 minutes because I just relate perfectly to so much of what you said that it hit me like a truck and the feeling really just started sinking in. I constantly think about what if I did something else and what should I do next with my life. I think university would give some direction, but it seems to only just made me lose any direction I had. I know I’ll figure something out at some point, but I have absolutely no idea when and that’s the hardest part. Thank you for being so open and honest and vulnerable. Although it doesn’t make me feel better entirely, it’s good knowing that so many other people share in this feeling

[@lion_towers3d]

wandering around your twenties, worried about being in your twenties - ooof that hit uncomfortably close to home...

[@DylanDhindsa]

i love this! thank you!

[@damnitphan]

Friendships in your 20s are also tough too. Not only is it super hard to make friends with other people, but in my personal life, it’s hard to be on the same page as my own friends. They all graduated college and are starting to look for proper jobs meanwhile I never went to college and I work as a barista and I travel here and there. I am happy with the life I’m living since it’s something I have been dreaming of since high school. At the same time I didn’t expect it to be hard to maintain friendships to the point where I feel distant from them.

[@izrhiasn0079]

ilysm maia thanks for this video

[@xlPepperlx]

I’m current going through half of my 20s already. And ye, it pretty sucks. I had goals and dreams and expectations when I finally hit 21. Now at 25, I’m questioning how much I’ve wasted half of my 20s, with zero goals accomplished, while others the same age group are achieving so much. I occasionally dip from being depressed to optimistic but I’m pretty much in limbo with life now. Learning to stop comparing ourselves to others is a very big step to growing up, but it’s not like I’m going to be able to do that anytime soon, and that sucks even more, but that’s reality of life.

[@kenzieanselmi7413]

I'm turning 20 this year and I am having all of these feelings, so it was great to see that other people were feeling them too. I am even going to college and I have no real idea of what I want to do. It was more like a general direction I felt like doing, but I hate choosing one path when I am someone who likes to do many, many different things. So thank you for this video! It made me feel less alone!

[@rinnyai]

God this is all such a mood and I'm turning 30 next year. I've been struggling with the very same things for so long. Especially recently I've been thinking about the what ifs, and what that version of me would be like. Would she be happier? Would she have been more successful? Would she have survived out on her own? Would she find someone who actually loves her? Would she still be alive? You're definitely not alone, and hearing you say these things aloud helps me find the words to describe what I've been feeling. I heard that things are better when you're in your 30s so fingers crossed. Hang in there Maia.

[@idriealbarn500]

Thank you so much for this video Maia, I'm also 22 and have been feeling exactly like this. I feel so lost and so "delayed" (idk how to word it) like I should be doing something huge with my life but instead I'm spending my days playing Hollow knight while i look for a job xd It made me feel so much better that someone like you who i admire so much feels the same, it makes me feel valid that everyone are having the same experience. Things will get better

[@skybunny9080]

i'm 23 years old and feel the same exact way. i also feel like i should know everything about adulting and how everything works right now and i get frustrated that i don't, being neurodivergent doesn't help either because i already feel so outcasted and confused with life. it's really hard for me to set goals for the future when i can't even form in my head what the future might look like. i wonder a lot about the future of our world and if anything i do even matters but, i try my best to remind myself that it matters if it brings me (or maybe even others) joy even just for a little while.

[@beeu.u5256]

I feelt this, I just turned 18 and all my classes are online, and I have never felt so isolated, I feel like I am in quarantine but everyone else lives their life and I am alone all day doing homework, I lost my years as a teenager due to covid and now i feel like i am losing a part of my life that was supposed to be the "good years"

[@RoseAc3]

I enjoy hearing about this kind of stuff. It really opens my eyes to my own thoughts. I haven't ever thought about it until now and I can see that I was oblivious to my own thoughts and feelings. I can see now how the saying "ignorance is bliss" applies.