Benjamin Tod, "Dark Before the Dawn," // GemsOnVHS™

About this song, Benjamin had this to say;
"This song in a lot of ways is about my never ending struggle with bipolar disorder and addiction. It also encompasses a battle with delusions everyone seems to live with. In that I believe it is relatable to most people who have self doubt, anxiety, depression and manic tendencies.
In the back of my mind there is always that underlying question of whether this life is worth it. There is always an unsureness of whether we are winning the war as a human race. Our better angels seem to believe that we are and that good can prevail through the suffering and turmoil. Our demons insist that the battle is already lost and that the determination of evil historically will prevail.
Nihilism is a dangerous drug and it consumes many corners of our society. It is ungrateful, resentful and it is always the easier path. Righteousness is nuanced, appreciative and requires real wisdom in order to balance the axis of justice and mercy. Righteousness requires a ton of work and often a little bit of luck to prevail.
Sometimes fate plays its hand and we lose even with the best of intentions. Sometimes there are no answers or solutions for the tragedy of life. I have for most of my time here allowed that darkness to devour me and it almost won. I am very fortunate to be here and I don’t take that responsibility lightly.
We must stand and fight. We must, begrudgingly at times, believe in an ideal vision for humanity. This life may be sad, but it is always beautiful.
-Benjamin Tod
I dedicate this song to the memory of Luke Bell."
In this episode, we ramble on down to my friends Benjamin Tod and Ashley Mae's little slice of paradise in Kentucky, to hang out in a big field with their work truck and new puppy. Truth be told, i've never seen Ben happier than he is now, getting his hands dirty building something bigger he can call his own. Its almost like he is a family man now, but instead of kids his family is a bunch of animals, piles of dirt, a couple big loud trucks and Ashley. Good for him. They are building the Muhlenberg Music Mission for the kids, of course. (www.muhlenbergmusicmission.org/)
The band, Lost Dog street band, recently announced a little hiatus from the hard knock life of touring. Again, good for them. They spend more than half the year on the road playing shows, and have for years. Each time, they can't wait to get back to the chickens, to the cabin, to the little daily work of building a life rooted in the land. Who can blame them? That is what's real after all. Not social media, likes, comments, views, show business and the like. At the end, you have the songs and what you've built for yourself. I know they love their fans, but they love their chickens and tomatoes too. I just hope they continue to find peace and salvation. Maybe even host a couple good cookouts at their house. I'll be there, buddy!
Pre-order Benjamin's new album, "Songs I Swore I'd Never Sing";
anticorpmusic.com/collections...
Our undying love and gratitude go to our executive producers for making this project possible: Brad Sirois, Mitchell Davis, Keith McQuillan, David Jameson, Lisa Galvan, Irvin Maddox, Josh Collins, Brady Jones, Julie Nestoroff, VJ Arizpe.
Consider becoming a Patreon contributor to help sustain this project. For the price of a cup of coffee every month, you let us continue finding and filming amazing artists.
/ gemsonvhs
GemsOnVHS is a long running series of intimate, off-stage performances by songwriters we love.
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www.gemsonvhs.com

[@GemsOnVHS]

Check out Benjamin Tod on instagram, @benjamintodmusic. We're slowly getting our catalog of field recordings on Spotify - follow us on there. open.spotify.com/artist/7t78CwAbQIA6DKAKUKBYgl?si=tfpp2IA4QNq5wYqr6Jfw4w

[@yunoletmebeanon]

I am so grateful you are adding these to Spotify, I've always wished you would so I can easily listen to them in the car on the long drive to work. Just followed you on there. Please add the "The Mountain" rendition by Benjamin Tod to the Spotify page as soon as you get the time. (It's a pain playing youtube videos while driving, especially in a stick). Thank you so much for all that you do.

[@daphcliche1584]

Hello from quebec love you all You are in my ears everyday 😍👌

[@louispatrick2363]

Congrats I've got 5 months

[@andresrivera8324]

Please upload all of these sets onto Spotify! I, along with 99% of your listeners prefer your live spontaneous recordings versus studio recordings. Much more raw and beautiful. I feel like we’ve all been waiting for this moment. Thank you!!

[@jessicahimes1747]

I'm from Rockcastle county Kentucky .....I achieved 2 yrs sober yesterday and I'd like for Ben to know he's been a major part of my sobriety .....you can move mountains with your lyrics brother keep it up and I thank you sir

[@maosbartender2898]

all my kin is from Rockcastle. Keep it up, cousin.

[@GeoffPeterson33]

Hell yeah Jessica! 3 years myself and glad to be here, glad you’re here ✌🏼

[@tmacskoolsu]

One day at a time!

[@jamieb8867]

Congratulations

[@boweewowee]

Bless up

[@mreichard838]

Benjamin Tod is a god damn national treasure. I hope he never stops making music.

[@jeremydickenson8059]

Hell yes

[@pageluvva]

Well said

[@zachbradley9464]

I hope he never stops doing it his way

[@zachbradley9464]

I hope he never stops doing it his way

[@mreichard838]

@@zachbradley9464 from interviews I've seen with him he definitely doesn't seem like the type to do it any other way than his own. Its part of what makes him special. Maybe Ashley Mae's way every now and again though 😂

[@michaelkennedy8270]

This man nails life every time he opens his mouth and sings.

[@pageluvva]

I was going to comment but you summed it up perfectly.

[@cadeohara6319]

@@pageluvva kkkkkkkkkkk

[@mikelinniii1186]

That he does,every word is true

[@Rthomas176]

Every now and then you hear exactly what you need to exactly when you should. Thanks for this song 🫡

[@InternalCompassofNC]

Facts for sure!

[@christopherramey1266]

40 years old, wife and kids asleep inside, me enjoying my morning smoke and coffee, sobbing like a baby. This man is special. I'm sorry and thankful for everything I've ever done. Ben puts that feeling in words. Every. Damn. Time.

[@MysticHeather]

This is it right here! Well said!

[@dorothy8979]

what I would give too have my kids and wife asleep inside...miss it deeply....

[@markusa5521]

Amen brother

[@brandonwestbrook6003]

He’s the epitome of an artist. Not the “artist” so many claim to be, in current times. A true warrior poet

[@jamesmetcalf3015]

It sure hit my front door son you got what it takes I wish I had away to get your address I wrote a litte song I been honor if you would take a look at it I ture beliveyou are one to sing it

[@rangerk9]

Ben - “I have been trapped inside this song for a couple of weeks now.” Me - “I will be trapped inside this song for more than a couple years now.”

[@elviss.w.i.l.l.5247]

No doubt!

[@jkdean82]

Damn true. Same.

[@GrasslandsG81]

For anyone reading this who also deeply relates to Benjamin's lyrics, hang in there... We got this!

[@VotedMostLikelyAlcoholic]

Let's all make it to the dawn

[@PaigeAshliegh]

My husband didn’t make it out of the dawn 💔 depression won.. our 2 year old twins will never know their daddy.. I miss my bestfriend..💔 😢

[@RaymondThompson-rz4hj]

​@@PaigeAshliegh 😢

[@PaigeAshliegh]

@@RaymondThompson-rz4hj his name is Jeremy, I miss him everyday.. I became a widow at 29 years of age.. He took his life while under the influence.. He called me at 4:01am crying telling me he loves me so much over & over.. I just wish he loved himself. I wish I could take his place at the very least. The cops didn’t take my pleading seriously.. they were 5 hours too late getting to him 💔 I don’t want to be here without the love of my life, we were supposed to die hand in hand 50 years from now.. nobody deserves to die alone thinking death is their only way out. He was so perfect, he’s now become the entire sky when i look at it. I am patiently awaiting my time to make it home to the spirit world so I can feel his warm embrace. I simply am not here anymore, whatever spark I had within me, he took it with him, on that horrifying nightmare of a day that my life has now become 💔 I’m going on for the sake of our children, trying to be the best mother I can be. I never knew this level of pain existed. I hope I can make him proud but I can’t even leave bed without him.. He was my absolute everything.. My soulmate, the love of my life.. If they ever invent a Time Machine, I know the first place I’m going. I just miss my bestfriend 😢 I don’t want this life or even to be in this world if he’s not in it.. but our boy/girl twins are all I have left of their amazing heavenly father, he exists now only in my memories, and in my heart. He showed me Benjamin Tod a month before he died right after I saved him from another suicide attempt. Now his music and interviews are all I listen to. My beloved husband.. why did you leave our beautiful family. I’m so lost he was always home to me.. I just want to go home💔 kisâkihitin nînapem.. which means I love you my husband, nîya osâw pîyesîw, my Golden Thunderbird, his spirit name which was given to him during a sweatlodge ceremony, we are so spiritually connected I got my name osâw pîyesîw iskwêw or Golden Thunderbird Woman, as Indigenous Cree people this is a very sacred moment for us, and we got it 4 days before our wedding.. On august 4th, 2018. We have 4 matching tattoos, one of which is eachothers initial on our ring finger because it’s believed that vein leads straight to one’s heart. 💜 I feel him everywhere.. and I want to go home to my husband, if I didn’t have our children I’d be buried beside him right now.. If you knew him you’d understand how magical he is.. heart of pure gold. Our wedding video got quite a lot of new views after he passed away.. you can find it on Facebook quite easily or it’s on my IG: paige.ashliegh if you’re interested.. My 6’5” beautifully gorgeous husband.. inside & out. A smile so contagious.. that I’ll never see again. I slept beside his casket when it was time to bury the love of my life.. I never thought I’d have to kiss his cold lips goodbye.. But as he always said it’s never goodbye, it’s see you later 💜 please Creator wrap nothing but love around my husband.. wherever he is I pray he’s found peace 💜🪶 my baby love.. My gentle giant😢💜 I wish this was a nightmare I could wake up from.. Be kind & hold those you love close, because you just never know.. 💔 I’d give my life for him.. I’d take his place in a heartbeat if possible.. there’s no words to describe this type of pain. One relapse after almost a decade long of being clean off drugs & he’s gone from me & my children’s life forever. I’m sorry for the long comment.. I just have no one, no parents, no siblings.. I only had him & now our twins. I don’t know how to go on without him, I can’t accept the fact that he’s gone.. So I won’t, it’ll be like we just went awhile without seeing each other 🕊️💜 I can’t wait for that day.. I’m not scared of death.. I’m scared of not living my life without him.. and until it’s my turn, I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy again.. Time doesn’t heal all wounds.. that is a lie people tell themselves.. and it might work for some but it doesn’t work for me.. depression is no joke & now that I’ve reached his level of depression I understand why he felt the need to leave this realm. 🕊️😢💜

[@TheWTFMatt]

Thanks bro, you too

[@McAwesomeDelux]

Oh those damned long nights when every stupid statement, mistake and regret decides to show you that they are indeed as much a part of you as the joys and fond memories. Perhaps moreso.

[@DerKaiserBrazil]

Exactly my friend, as many good as bad statements and moments we will take with us for the rest of our lives ...!

[@gratefuldead2379]

Magnifico my friend

[@American-Dragon]

@@DerKaiserBrazil in bad times it is good for the soul to help others. Embrace forgiveness for those that have tresspassed against you, ask forgiveness for those you have tresspassed against, be easy on yourself while you are at it. We all have done regretable things but there is good work to be done. Think on what it is you actually believe about spirituality, religion because the sooner you become comfortable with not living forever the sooner you are free to truly appreciate all of creation.

[@dancom3207]

@@American-Dragon well said.

[@DerKaiserBrazil]

@@dancom3207 ... Exactly my friend, what you said is exactly what the Master Jesus Christ taught us !🇩🇪🇧🇷🇺🇲🙋🏻‍♂️

[@MontanaCamp]

Who woulda thunk ben went from hitchin rides on freight trains, to drivin a deisel on his own chunk of land?! You deserve it man ! Congrats on your growth. Now thats outlaw.

[@clifftanner6289]

Deserved!!!!!!

[@drue6360]

Funny I was thinking the same thing, I went through nearly the same exact thing. I was a piece of shit junkie back in Portland, I was a real wretch. I cleaned my shit up and moved to the mountains of Bonner, MT 3 years back. I own my own business now, I drive a cummins, and this land has redeemed my soul. I started listening to Ben so so long ago, it’s interesting the parallels, he can say what I don’t even have the ability to articulate.

[@MontanaCamp]

@@drue6360 and i agree with the parallels. every damn song feels like its describing my life and my past. Dude is a legend songwriter

[@ericbest9562]

@@drue6360 I feel hopeless but I'm not a junky, I have habits and vices but not in the condition you described yourself in, if I stay away from alcohol I'm fine, issue is , well a lot of issues but my child support I pay, even with decent paying jobs there's really no way to support myself independently after the state gets its cut. I never was a social one so those old friends aren't around to bunk with. I'm married now and trying to save it but she has unaddressed mental health issues and I can't fix her without her wanting to fix herself. It's becoming very unhealthy for us and not to sound selfish but it is really taking its toll on me. If I decide I can't take it anymore then that puts me homeless, I could eat, shower I suppose and make it with a safe place to park. I'm so frustrated, I feel like I'm getting screwed out of my chance, I'm almost there , I've been wanting a sawmill and do firewood on the side with that, and I'm like right there and it's being snatched out from under me because I can't get her to address her issues and try to get better. I'm about to turn 40 and it has been up and down for better part of 15 years for me now and I thought I was on the uphill swing! I was sure she was the one, a supporter and stable, I've known her since highschool, I'm learning you don't really know know someone until you are with the 24/7 . I'm just rambling, I always want to hear how someone made it and see if there is something in their story I can use. I feel like time is running out and I keep losing chances. I worry about everything, I'm worried about her, the future, homelessness again for me. At what point do say homelessness in the winter is better than dealing with your current situation. You can always start over but I'm tired, tired of starting over

[@humblepie876]

@@ericbest9562 You're 39, so much life ahead of you. I left a marriage in my late 30's (twenty-some years later we're still good friends, but the change was the right course to take). I'm not saying you should do the same, just that your comment reached my heart and I'm sending a prayer for peace and finding your way forward. Reach out to a local mental health agency to get support for your wife and to talk with someone who has resources and new ideas - shared housing maybe? You mention health and you sound like you have a lot going well, good work and dreams. Things do change, often for the better if we stay focused and honest with each other.

[@americangirl8970]

My son became an addict after going through Hurricane Katrina. Then he was diagnosed with lung cancer in his 20's which they wouldn't treat until he got clean. He's been clean and cancer free for 6 years now and recently married a wonderful lady. Keep hope alive.

[@arlenfoster4254]

My brother took his life recently, the first verse of this song absolutely broke me. I feel like we were both in the same boat; starting new jobs, providing for our families and struggling to be there for our people when they needed us. I knew he had has his demons, we talked about it, but I’m sitting here four days removed just barely making it. I’m going to work just to escape the reality that he’s not here anymore. I don’t know that this comment will accomplish anything more than to let me vent my emotions. But if you read this, you matter to someone

[@jaredseay]

I'm in the same place, except I may be your brother in this rendition.... I don't know how to say this Arlen but I've been in a dark mind space and was ready to turn my lights out, your words just jolted me back from my darkness, my demons, reminding me that my wife and newborn baby girl would never understand if I were to just check out forever, so I'll keep fighting, thanks to your words, I'll keep holding on. Thank you for bearing your truth and your pain. I needed it

[@robertgold2643]

Thanks for the reminder 🙏

[@barrybr1]

@@jaredseay Hang tough brother. Focus on that family of yours and on anyone or any thing that needs help round you. It's good medicine to get out of your own troubles and focus on others when possible

[@TheWTFMatt]

Sorry about your brother, man, much love to you, you got this

[@dandolan3168]

Just over 2 years my little brother at 31 took his life....I understand my friend everyone matters

[@lynntyler8682]

Ben's music helped me through a rough couple of years after I lost my dad to cancer glad I found him in the rabbit hole

[@lynntyler8682]

I know lost my dad in 2019 my nest friend

[@kevinekman7875]

Listening to Tod for 4 years plus now and I’ve finally made my mind up. Greatest songwriter of all time.

[@heathkish6901]

Close, but let us not forget about Townes Van Zandt!

[@drakeelliott5079]

I want to agree but Like Benjamin always says it's his best friend Nicholas Ridout. The two of them are the greatest I've ever heard.

[@heathkish6901]

@@drakeelliott5079 That's completely fair! I'm not super familiar with Nicholas, but I love what I know. I've always considered Benjamin to be the modern-day Townes, his songs are on that level. Helluva compliment!

[@gratefuldead2379]

This gentleman is something else. He grabs ahold of something deep inside of you and brings it out to play. But remember my friends he who labels which is best, may be missing the point and all the rest. Just something to keep in mind. Agape love my friends.

[@justinb864]

@@heathkish6901 Or Leonard Cohen…

[@Sweetwain]

I was cleaning out a box tonight and found a folder of recipes from my daddy, who passed away in 2009. He struggled with depression and alcoholism, which ran in the family. The recipes must've come from the period after he got sober and ran a soup kitchen because they start like "16 cups pinto beans". He talked about measuring the water for rice by how far it came up his arm when he stuck it in the giant stockpot. That was the happiest I ever saw him. I'm grateful that he stayed sober and kept trying to help people, even though it got hard at times. He is much missed.

[@josiahklein70]

Sounds like a wonderful man.

[@MayberryMafia]

Condolences my friend…! I rue the day 😔

[@jackfruit9439]

If hopeful pain had a sound it would be Benjamin Todd.

[@doctorworm7764]

Absolutely haunting. Ben has a voice like no other.

[@InternalCompassofNC]

Agreed brother

[@b.wilson8782]

I cheated on my wife and have abused alcohol. I’ve lost nearly everything but her and am at my lowest but this song gives me such hope. Thank you

[@baningobarge]

In BT's grasp of his guitar, there's a profound intimacy, and his songs, like timeless whispers, resonate deeply.

[@devinhorton592]

He really can’t help but write a gut wrenching, beautiful song

[@billhicks7157]

How many times is one dude going to make me cry. His music and lyrics always hit hard.

[@davidanspach1624]

The comment sections of every single one of your songs proves how much love and strength you have given so many people. You very well may be the greatest singer-songwriter of all time.

[@tritnaha1345]

This man has a phenomenal ability to put life as a whole into gentle yet piercing lyrics, all while having the composure and thoughtfulness to actually give people hope and solid, life changing advice. He's like a evangelist preaching the teachings of a lost generation, but without all the bullshit. A man-crush of epic proportions, no doubt.

[@artooshsybian3628]

Their music has been a constant companion since I discovered it some years back on this channel. Thank you Gems for putting this out there.

[@GemsOnVHS]

thank you

[@Maddmonkey87]

Another fantastic video by @GemOnVHS, I have found so many great artists, but Benjamin Todd will always hold a special place in my heart. Keep singing brother, keep helping us heal.

[@GemsOnVHS]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@Maddmonkey87]

@@GemsOnVHS not even going to lie this is the highlight of my day! Kinda star struck not going to lie. Haha have an awesome day!

[@mykelbukey1235]

Gems on vhs is how I got into Ben/ldsb and now I've spun down the rabbit hole of this dark folk music and Ive found tons of new artists! Gems on vhs is the best YT channel out there!

[@Maddmonkey87]

@@mykelbukey1235 same thing here saw a random video pop up in suggested I believe it was green eyed girl, but I was hooked from the first video. Their songs touch my soul and they have ways to express in words emotions I can't describe. Nice to meet a fellow fan.

[@cedarriver]

Quite excited for that album and how it compares to his last ones I gotta say! Chords and lyrics below as always folks! Feel free to correct me if I've got a word wrong here and there Standard tuning, no Capo C is played as C/G (alternating bass), but noted as C below for reasons of clarity That F is sometimes played as an Fsus2 (x3301x), throw it in here and there as you like Cadd9 330010 Verses C Cadd9 Am / F C / C Cadd9 Am / F C Chorus Am G C / Am G C Outro C Cadd9 Am / F C [Verse 1] I'm thinking tonight of my entire life as a whole Oh and what it might mean if I ever get back in control Alone and forsaken by everyone I've ever known Hell I've even abandoned myself some years ago [Chorus] And I'm hardly holding on In the dark before the dawn [Verse 2] Oh I'm living clean, oh I'm getting redeemed on this land But it ain't what you think, it's the toil of a much braver man Lately I weep at the strangest things we understand Oh like every new line that's defined on the back of my hand [Chorus] And I'm hardly holding on In the dark before the dawn [Verse 3] Don't call it religion when I seek salvation inside Oh it's just surrendering on yourself to this life And man, it gets lonely seeing the spite in their eyes Before they walk away being blinded by any old lie [Chorus] And I'm hardly holding on In the dark before the dawn [Outro] I'm thinking tonight of my entire life as a whole Oh and what it might mean if I ever get back in control

[@Jon_And307]

Fairly certain that when he says "I'm thinking the night" I think it's actually "I'm thinking tonight". Thats just what I hear so I could be wrong.

[@JauntyWhale]

@@Jon_And307 tonight makes more sense

[@rangerk9]

Thank you for this!

[@irishsailor9181]

Is there a new album coming out ?

[@rangerk9]

@@irishsailor9181 Thankfully, the 23rd of September. Greatly looking forward to it!

[@matt_queso]

This man can do no wrong. Absolutely gut wrenching music... real country shit.

[@wiseriverhealing]

I never ever thought i'd get back in control. I found myself walking up early with the birds singing and not being annoyed and then in awe of the sunrise to the point of weeping. That was something I never expected to result from getting clean, but it did. If I can you can. Just find something to believe in and don't let go. NA helped me. There are people that genuinely want to help you. I promise you with my entire soul your future self will thank you.

[@JWheeler331]

The way Benjamin Tod puts feelings into thoughts and then to words and then ultimately into such meaningful songs is second to none….. and I mean none.

[@NathanErtznerMusic]

There's no amount of thanks I can give in this world to properly express my gratitude for Ben and his art. I would probably be gone without it. At the very least I fear what kind of man I would've become.

[@jamieb8867]

Preach on, I couldn’t have said that any better

[@reesemckenzie2850]

thank you ben, i’m speechless. lyrics: i’m thinking the night of my entire life as a whole oh and what it might mean if i ever get back in control alone and forsaken by everyone i’ve ever known hell i even abandoned myself some years ago and i’m hardly holding on in the dark before the dawn oh i’m living clean oh i’m getting redeemed on this land but it ain’t what ya think it’s the toil of a much braver man lately i weep at the strangest things we all understand oh like every new line that’s defined on the back of my hand and i’m hardly holding on in the dark before the dawn don’t call it religion when i seek salvation inside oh it’s just surrendering yourself to this life and man it gets lonely seein the spite in their eyes before they walk away being blinded by any old lie and i’m hardly holding on in the dark before the dawn i’m thinking the night of my entire life as a whole oh and what it might mean if i ever get back in control

[@user-lc4jm6oo5y]

I'm a recovering addict and his music has seriously touched every corner of my soul

[@johntheplumber2399]

Ben is hands down the best songwriter and singer alive. Seen him live and it was the best show I've ever been to. His songs are so deep and impacted full of truth

[@sooie27]

“Man it gets lonely seeing the spite in their eyes” really hit me

[@empirereborn6330]

The first verse makes me relate to his struggle The second gives me jealousy and guilt that he's on his way and that I'm about to finish at least this next drink while I listen in shame But the third gives me hope as all his songs do. I want to promise myself ill seek salvation tomorrow but once the days work is done its hard to resist. And I hope I will. But thanks Benjamin for inspiring me when I listen. You and Townes give me peace.

[@HOSWELL444]

Don’t feel guilty for having a beer after a hard days work mate …. It’s all good in moderation ✌🏼🫡

[@spencertherren6806]

The shame and guilt will kill us. Everytime. Just do better tomorrow and try to stay sober. I've been there, but it took time behind bars to get there. Keep your chin up.✌️🇺🇸

[@Satdianmann]

If I ever get sober it’ll be because of BT... his music just speaks to me

[@InternalCompassofNC]

Stay strong my friend

[@nathanmartin9560]

Damn if this ain't relatable idk what is I drink a bottle and next day I swear it off then pick it up again the next night

[@cristelsmith7236]

Having one hell of a day and all i can do is listen and cry. What keeps me up now breaks me down every time. I good cry never hurt anyone i suppose

[@cristelsmith7236]

I do need to go inside this grocery store though so im trying to dry it up lol

[@that1guy899]

There's nothing like a new Benjamin Tod song to turn a shit day around! Thank you Ben and the Gems On VHS crew! You all rock! 🤘

[@trevaniaanderson6807]

I don't know what life is right now, divinely inspired, repetitive chaos, or a dang simulation, but whatever it is brought me to this man's songs tonight and now I feel less alone

[@eurotr4sh]

His writing is incredible, his delivery impactful

[@SirSwaggyy]

Man, this stuff is getting too relatable. Always the highlight of my day when I see what this man delivers (and does it ever deliver). Grateful for Gems to capture these moments in time. I always feel like I’m there, and I’m the one filming, but that’s only because of the raw intimacy that’s shown. All love.

[@cdawg_692]

All I can even say, is wow... much needed song for my life right now. I'm from a small town in Kentucky and drugs, fishing, hunting, and music, is about all we had... I really do thank God for Ben and his music. It's saved me many times

[@Clarkansas]

This song brings tears to my eyes.

[@joshpaz1]

Listened to this on repeat for months, then randomly when he says he abandoned himself i started balling.

[@jnew417]

Its 3/22/2024 and this is the best music I've heard in my 52 years on this earth.

[@boweewowee]

Benjamin…I know it is often hard to stick around, but we need you man. This is a (another) beautiful song. Thank you.

[@hasselbrashears8097]

I’m glad to see this dude winnin he deserves it. He’s probably one of the best song writers out there and will be remembered as such. I swear since I first found “using again” it’s felt like he is singing about my life in real time. Every song since Just fits my struggle so well. It gives me hope that if he is dealing with a disastrous life like me and is able to succeed then hopefully I can to. Godspeed to all of us fighting the good fight knowing the world is against us.

[@candice3457]

Godspeed brother

[@westxranchin]

Wonderful. Tearing up as usual

[@unapologetic1]

Be disagreeable son. Be a disagreeable person. Best advice I ever heard at a show

[@RILEYLEIFSON_UTAH]

"I'm thinking the night of my entire life as a whole... Oh and what it might mean if I ever get back in control." As someone who's been hardly holding on for far too long...this hit me hard in the chest.

[@shaunmularz983]

From a California boy. This guy is one of the best artists ive ever come across. So thankful to find him

[@chrisatchley225]

This song rings to me.. I’m not sure if many quite understand what you mean about seeking salvation inside, and seeing the spite in the eyes of people that get blinded by the lies of culture.. Brilliant.. I like to believe that there are more like us out there that see the world the way you and I do. But when I heard this song I felt a lot less lonely. It would be pleasing to cross paths with individuals like us more often. I believe Ben is one of the many fallen angels here on earth to call lost souls to a higher place. Cheers to Ben for creating a timeless masterpiece. And congratulations on your meaningless success. I occasionally appreciate my own.😂

[@johntroze11]

I know Benjamin caters to us alcoholics and substance abusers. His music is comforting to take in on a daily basis no matter what mode our minds are in. What impresses me is his ability to give us all hope while still pouring out his soul on a song that isnt necessarily a positive one. He is doing what I wish I could do. I think i speak for alot of us lost dogs out here.

[@gmod8033]

Don't give up the fight man it gets better it gets easier.

[@johntroze11]

@@gmod8033 Thank you for your kind words. All the best to you and yours

[@claypeacock5912]

I played this 7 times in a row. Gonna keep going too.

[@brandenmiquelas3319]

Ill never forget listening to a bluegrass pandora radio station some years ago and one of his songs came on and had me crying like a baby and Ive been a fan ever since. He's an absolutely amazing musician

[@santsi7306]

Thank you miss Ashley mae and Ben. Music for the soul. Coincidence in how well the lyrics fit the time in mine and I'm sure several others lives. I'm glad your clean Ben. And you write about it. Thankful for y'all

[@MsJeannate11]

God damnit. He did it again. This man literally never ceases to amaze me.

[@Colbeagl3]

looking forward to seeing this grow to 1M+ views. Such a great voice and lyricist

[@omgruokay2787]

My KZbin needs to get better at suggesting videos, why am I just now finding this gem 🤔. Simply beautiful 👏

[@GemsOnVHS]

jump into our channel and find more.

[@ryanellis7520]

Man this dude wails it. Just raw, honest, life. The world needs more storytellers like him.

[@corbanchildress8292]

"This life may be sad, but it is always beautiful." Couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you for existing Ben.

[@chumdinger_official]

“Don’t call it ‘religion’ when I seek salvation inside. It’ just surrendering all of yourself to this life.” Great line… it doesn’t always have to be about religion..

[@willcresson8776]

I agree. it's interesting, because he does allude to belief in a god in several songs. I like that it strikes as universal in his music. It doesn't matter what god saves you, so long as you're being saved by someone.

[@kells4723]

Jesus offers Salvation. Not religion.

[@kellymacbus1]

Genius writing, a very rare talent.

[@ervinromans5533]

Thanks to Ben and his music. I finally feel like I'm not alone in this life and on this planet. Thank you for everything Ben.

[@d.allanparrott7991]

Absolutely Sublime Ben, watching you grow as a Songsmith from humble Days of Busking to Your slice of the American Dream and Growing as A Man ... I must say this Elder music Man is Proud of You ! And will continue to support Your Career & Dreams. Bravo My Lil' Brother❗🙏🇺🇸💪

[@lew-e]

Love the music and love Kentucky. I keep telling my wife we need 50 acres in Kentucky and to forget all about Illinois

[@lew-e]

I just came back to this song and to write that same message. Guess I haven't changed my opinions much in 7 months! I'll see me again in the future

[@Tully4Prez]

This song gives me Hope. I've been on a journey of solitude, as I walk across America. Sharing Light, so others don't see the darkness I saw for 20 years.

[@breelynnaadkins]

From KY here. I've been off heroin for 28 days and can't wait to see Ben live. I won't be chasing dope so I can actually travel to see him now! I can't wait to tell him thanks for getting me through with his music.

[@DarriusMichael]

The best song ever written, period.

[@robeylemere]

I’ve been struggling with the loss of my dad. I just want to say thank you for doing what you do.

[@evanmerritt6338]

Just straight up, good ole, punch u in the heart strings country music with a tinge of reality that this world sorely needs

[@nicholasdunlop8875]

Lately I weep at the strangest things we understand. Hit home hard. I often will tear up over things most laugh at.

[@ShivaRainchild]

I have my girl pregnant and this channel is one of the few things that keeps me sane right now. And he's one of my favorite artists I discovered through this channel. I feel blessed. :')

[@ElijahBrisley]

You’ll be fine man. Having a kid is one of the best things to ever happen to me. Worth all of the shit that comes with it! Just help your girl as much as you can, I helped mine plenty and still wish I would’ve helped more.

[@sharksport01]

Youre so fortunate. Wish i could have a kid. Or 20.

[@mux2724]

She ain’t “your girl” no more brother she’s your woman and the mama of your child

[@paulhelderle5633]

After listening to 5 of your songs this is where your music bent my muse. He was a deep and dark man’ who lived south of the Bronx He colored it cold’ lived it colder -- To music that feeds the muse. -- I’ve lived a treasured life. No golden spoon in my mouth but closer to the gold than to the draw of poverty and to the often bad decisions that are more rampant I suspect in the crowd that have nots might experience more of.. Thanks for music that inspires, enlightens, humbles and humanifies.

[@tinaprince9163]

When crickets hide beneath the corners Thinking of the things we bury I love You’re music

[@GhostBastardsband]

The man, the new legend

[@brianrosnell3250]

Man's music can give you chills and steal the words out of your soul

[@jeffreyjamison2701]

Another amazing song. First time I heard "Using Again" I broke down and cried like a baby sobbing. Only song I ever heard that put my exact thoughts to words. Thank you Ben and Gems.

[@boweewowee]

Bless up brother

[@johnjinglehimer2900]

Lost my job and car then fell down the rabbit hole of drinking to not feel, the love of my life left and i moved back to my hometown, 9 days sober and these lyrics hit hard

[@giovannicucca2042]

The way BT tells stories trough songs is just amazing. No matter 2 chords or 10 I could listen to him singing for hours. As a guitarist myself, It’s something that changed also my perspective in music writing: sometimes good lyrics and an incredible voice do not need too much guitar, it’s magical as it is.

[@ervinromans5533]

Somehow, Ben encapsulated a universal truth about all of us. He never ceases to tell us all that we're all the same in a lot of ways. Thank you for our truths

[@Backwoodz22]

Ben, his ol diesel, on his own land in the hills, his voice, the realness. Keep playin and doin actual country things Ben

[@theclanofone]

Every word is so poetic and personal. His song writing is what people say my poetry is. To connect with each person in a way that is so raw and soulful.

[@Reelanime]

I really needed this today, Benjamin Tod always has the music for the soul.

[@quantumgiggles2806]

You speak for my Soul, God Bless you Benjamin....❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🤗

[@pqtpat7734]

Love the description

[@xxkariexx1]

I missed my chance to see him a few weeks ago and I am so upset. His voice, his songs, his message, his vibe everything is just so beautiful.

[@kellymacbus1]

Another classic! Absolutely love it. 🙂

[@locash8122]

Tomorrow will be the first day of my new life. These songs really help right now.

[@threalharrydubois]

once again, you guys production quality will proprably challenge every studiorecording of this. stellar job!

[@gdfather13]

I know the pain. 20 years later, it can get better. If it does, never forget where you came from.

[@EmmaGoldmanlovesyou]

I’m struggling right now, and Benjamin gets me through the aches and shakes.

[@blueoval250]

Talent like this is rare.

[@rootelated]

As a former train hopper, busker, and severe addict, Id like to say thank you Ben. I crawled out of my stupor after OD'ing in front of the EXDO center in denver, got high one more time and slowly got off of alcohol; married my wife who also got clean, and had a beautiful baby girl. Sara is 4 months old and perfect. Ive been sober off everything but tobacco and the occassional trip for more than 3 years now, I stopped counting or caring about the days after about a year. I make well over 100k a year now in West Virginia and YOUR MUSIC has been in every pore of mine and my wife's life for every bit of 4 years now? Its hard to say time flies. But dude your shit hits hard and as someone who lived and died by my mando to feed my fucking dog and my pack to carry my back..bro i feel it so hard. Thank you. Oi mf!!

[@RageAgainstDEMachine]

Holy shit. Instant classic 🔥

[@user-mi7jj9tf1o]

Been with you sober and been with you sleeping in the cemetery thousands of miles from home, always kept me from being alone WHILE being on my own

[@freddynovember5842]

Brother I love you so much. I truly hope verything is going great for you. You are legendary Benjamin Tod. Thank you Lord for this legend.

[@matthewsawczyn6592]

Glad Ben got himself a nice bit of land. Hope it brings him endless calm and peace ✊

[@AnthonySneed-mo3pr]

"Trapped" for a lifetime! Thank you brother.

[@wyattpeterson4318]

Ol' Sons clean and sober. Brother I envy that!!! You got this brother.

[@spencercrawford8020]

What a perfect truth of a song this is. Ben. I cried my eyes out when I saw you live finally. It was one of the most amazing shows I've ever seen. Please keep speaking truth and helping others in your life. You're a Buffalo, one of a dying breed of ppl that actually understands life and how we as individuals, affect others around us. I couldn't begin to describe how much your music has meant to me as a growing person over all these years. You've helped me grow and I'm sure a ton of others. Be proud of that

[@dylanvanzandt6241]

I feel like I can breathe when I hear this. That's all.❤

[@kellogreklaw5213]

Nine years sober, but still bipolar as hell. Benjamin Todd is my creature comfort.

[@eoindaly6374]

Hang in there man