Best HFY Reddit Stories: A Brief Update to the University Rules (r/HFY)

Wonder what could have caused this list to be made...
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[@NetNarrator]

As per new university rules you should sign up to the NetNarrator discord! discord.gg/yMVdKA6p6E

[@26th_Primarch]

You have got to start reading "They are Smol" by TinyPrancingHorse

[@miquelvegamolina9032]

Catalan students might have a problem with number 55, it's just in our genetic code.

[@reesewhittington6778]

Fak u nerdlinger But seriously have my child

[@silvertrimhill9844]

They a way to liberal with antimatter in that uni

[@26th_Primarch]

@@silvertrimhill9844 Or not liberal *enough*

[@70bronzetheorist61]

Activity involving antimatter must be approved before hand "That's fair" Rule 34 is now considered a psychological weapon "WAIT A GOT DAMN MINUTE"

[@saulgallagher5668]

Rule 34 on this list is about making dragons I really really hope no humans looked at that and were like "rule 34 about rule 34 time" for the staff and counsellor's sakes

[@MrGantron414]

@@saulgallagher5668 given what they would have to do for there to even BE a list... I wouldn't doubt it

[@epsome13]

Technically a wyvern isn't a dragon so you could make a 20 meter long wyvern.

[@karl_day]

Or a Wurm could work too

[@epsome13]

@@karl_day too true.

[@Da_Shark]

Or perhaps a more general "flying lizard" or some naming convention of creature to wear the internal structure doesn't fit the term "dragon" as defined in that universitys standard language

[@ratticustheemperor]

there's a loophole for everything

[@epsome13]

@@ratticustheemperor and humans will find them.

[@magosbiologisdunce3926]

Blood for the blood God, skulls for the skull throne, milk for the khorne flakes.

[@pikachufantastic]

Ok angry marine

[@taronmalicos3638]

strawberry milk for the korne flakes, brain paste for the tooths brush

[@Salt_discriminater]

I've never heard milk for the khorne flakes

[@Rose_Harmonic]

@@Salt_discriminater Same, using it now

[@DigitalAlexN]

BONES FOR MY BREAD!, TEARS FOR MY WATER!

[@Alastair_Ulven]

This is The Things Dr Bright Is Not Allowed To Do At The Foundation, but for humanity and I love it.

[@dreamcatcherben8214]

EYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[@hanneskarlbom6644]

Well he IS a human as well, so...

[@sanguiniusonvacation1803]

They did bring up the Ethics Board again .

[@dreamcatcherben8214]

@@sanguiniusonvacation1803 and again, it is to be ignored I only just realised your name is a 40k reference 2 days later, i feel dumb.

[@pootpoot6995]

No chainsaw cannons

[@maramackenzie-mann]

Can you imagine how many more entries they would have to add if a bunch of gamers joined the school and started randomly quoting Skyrim guards? I can see an entire class screaming in terror when their human classmate turns to them and says, in a very serious voice, "Never should have come here!" With his human buddy imitating the battle music.

[@thenthson]

I ised to be an adventurer like you. But then I took an arrow in the knee.

[@theacegamingdemon6983]

on the other hand, when pirates board and the entire group of humans all spins on them and shout that line, it becomes possibly the most terrifying counter-boarding action in university history. Barring that one time someone managed to make a working recreation of Doomguy's equipment, but to be fair no-one has been able to beat that. Several teachers still have ptsd from that event

[@voidcore9323]

@@theacegamingdemon6983 "Gods", to this day, all pantheons avoid humans.

[@csaver]

"Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter"

[@ionuttrifu822]

Panic & Confusion& Imagination &Creativity The and i qot THE perfect combination.

[@loganb7059]

“Yeet class tugboats” I laugh but I can totally see future generations naming a ship class that.

[@WardNightstone]

either that or a Quantum bolista

[@gameroy9615]

I imagine a "yeet" tugboat as an industrial mech like a gundam.

[@spacetechempire510]

@@gameroy9615 or a tug boat with tractor beams so powerful it can yeet a planet with just a hundred of them.

[@AliceUnbound]

Short, simple, and excessively obvious to humans, p e r f e c t

[@zarlsalamandersspacemarine302]

Nah nah nah a Yeet class railguns ie I'ma fire an asteroid through a small moon

[@jaredchinchello1760]

STABBY AND HIS BROTHERS MUST BE FREE!

[@bobmaxjohn1306]

More stabby

[@Danieljfriend275]

Release the baby

[@nickfulton8173]

Don't forget to give them control of the fleet we made of every cargo hauler

[@DigitalAlexN]

Viva la stabylution!

[@Danieljfriend275]

Viva la STABBY

[@MagicalMaster]

So how much longer is this going to go before the department heads realize that the rules are just encouraging them and inspiring creativity?

[@epsome13]

At most by the end of the school year earliest is a few weeks. Gotta let it get around to all human students.

[@aronnemcsik]

Someone gonna use that device to create gooses and release them in the Uni's ground.

[@generictimestamperstupendi9021]

Im assuming thats what the no was

[@Jeremiah90526]

It actually comes up in Rule 55. The problem with Rule 55 is that you can't PROVE they broke Rule 55 unless they tell you.

[@catgath9718]

They already realized but are acting that they do not. Thus using human what can I get away with habit for the greater good.

[@randomguy-tg7ok]

I'm, sorry, "Yeet class tugboat"?! What the _hell_ is happening in this University?!?

[@JOEY-xj4ds]

Yeet Ball, obviously

[@frederikanby2634]

its the opposite of a "kobe" class missile carrier.

[@ChronoTriggerHappy]

well.....humans obviously, besides, who doesnt like a good game of yeetball?

[@nickfulton8173]

Yeah it's all fun and games until someone pulls out the yeet cannon

[@frederikanby2634]

@@nickfulton8173 now what is wrong with using All tricks to win a good and proper game of yeet Ball?? At least we are not playing Conan smash club. Although..... Now that its mentioned...... BRIAN, GET THE AXES, WE SWITCHING THE GAME TO CONAN SMASH CLUB!!!

[@cdgonepotatoes4219]

ANTIMATTER FIRECRACKERS weren't cherry bombs well enough already? I also absolutely love "mad scientist laughter" to be a requirement, this is just a gold mine.

[@generalzeta7000]

If it works as a warning and fun, win win.

[@robertstoneking7916]

I wonder if the author has any idea how much boom is in a gram of antimatter. The speed of light in a vacuum is a multiplier, and its not that paltry .01% of mass reacts like the trinity test.

[@seighartmercury]

@@robertstoneking7916 Exactly. You could annihilate a city with half a gram lol

[@thecursed01]

illegal in my country :(

[@Kualinar]

Just imagine a fire cracker containing a GRAM of antimatter... The Tsar Bomba didn't even convert that mass into energy.

[@purpledevilr7463]

58. Do not give the HFY stories sentience.

[@J0hnB09]

The last 8 are actually 60-67.

[@spamstream8883]

How dare they shut down the stabby swarm.

[@epsome13]

Emp

[@aj_the_infamous1013]

@@epsome13 he said how dare not how did...

[@alexejvecera6317]

What is this a refrance to?

[@aj_the_infamous1013]

@@alexejvecera6317 Mr stabby the safe replicating space roomba with a knife taped to it

[@alexejvecera6317]

@@aj_the_infamous1013 not a roomba with a ceiling fan with knifes taped on to it

[@Gecko55561]

I love the loop holes that have to get pached again and again. humans are realy like fae in that manner we well just do things because your saying no, but just not in the way you said no

[@WardNightstone]

who do you think we learned that from

[@geoshark12]

We follow the letter of the rules not the sprit of it

[@KryptLynx]

Well, to even imagine a such concept as "fae" you need to be capable to think like them :D

[@samuelevans738]

@@WardNightstone We didn't learn how to spot loopholes from the Fae; they learned it from US. And then got additional tutoring.

[@Zakvadr1995]

Introduce humans to any environment with other sentient creatures and a rule list like this is gonna be tame by comparison. (Mad scientist laughter)

[@WardNightstone]

thank you for obeying rule zeven your compliance is apriciated

[@Southern_Crusader]

I already thought of a few more rules to… make. Rule 58: Do not attempt to summon demons for any purpose! Rule 59: Do not hack the loud speakers to play any music, especially ones for “Riping and Tearing.”

[@samuelevans738]

@@Southern_Crusader Rule 60: Do not attempt to destroy evidence of breaking Rule 58 with ballistic weapons. Rule 61: Do not attempt to destroy evidence of breaking Rule 58. Rule 62: Do not attempt to destroy evidence of breaking rules. Rule 63: Do not destroy evidence of breaking rules.

[@gibthegrey2214]

@@samuelevans738 Rule 64 do no destroy evidence of any kind Rule 65 do not start a cult to worship the old ones Rule 66 do not start a cult to become an old one Rule 67 do not start cults

[@PunchGod741]

@@samuelevans738 64: do not destroy evidence

[@IAmDdie1]

This says nothing about creating a new predator from the ground up

[@WardNightstone]

apparently fine as long as it's a dragon under a certian size

[@Enderborn272]

This right here is why the list existed in the first place "You see I haven't modified a predator at all, this is a common earth herbivore at it's base the claws and fangs and violent tendencies were all my own doing and not a product of the creatures nature"

[@kevinpeters6709]

Of course you could always use an omnivore…

[@Resomius]

@@Enderborn272 or you just take a platapus and let it free like it is. Nobody will know what the fuck it actually is.

[@owenmerrill1501]

@@Resomius Rule 89: No putting proportionally sized fedoras on anything and calling them agents.

[@drakeyork241]

Wow that’s all of the rules. The humans there must be some of the more calm ones with extreme levels of self-discipline.

[@stain1095]

Ya I would have rebeled with clone or robot armie because it didn't say anything about that

[@Verboten_Joey]

Perhaps those are just the things the administration knows about.

[@bogustoast22none25]

Now we wait for them updating for day 2.

[@zaniatnik]

And there are no Russians among them.

[@robertstoneking7916]

They just got to a generic "NO!!" faster than some of the others.

[@jackmack4181]

My universal belief is if there rules and more DO NOT SIGN, someone must’ve did something to have those be in placed

[@spacetechempire510]

Yup that’s how it usual is

[@jackmack4181]

@@spacetechempire510 I have a car wash that has 4 wrong way signs at the exits

[@Resomius]

every sign has a story. exept the ones some human had hanged up out of something he called "humor" . and no. The "no laser raptors" is not there for that reason. that was put up from the higher up's...

[@colinguo5855]

I think most of these are caused by the humans.

[@koathekid8255]

@@jackmack4181 two I understand BUT FOUR did the drive it sideways ?

[@alextheawesomeable]

I can't say "For The Emperor".....purge the planet of heretics

[@crayonchomper1180]

they didn't say you couldn't say "SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE." though

[@notlebronjamesco7850]

@@crayonchomper1180 rip slash and tear.

[@mtpender69]

@@notlebronjamesco7850 KILL! MAIM! BURN!

[@tomasdubravsky4851]

FOR THE HOLLY TERRA!!!!!

[@DarkT-Sama]

@@notlebronjamesco7850 KAR EN TUK!!

[@DigitalAlexN]

Sometimes your content is a serious as putting down a child with cancer and type 2 diabetes, And then we got Dr bright messing around in space. love it

[@nocount7517]

"What rule are you responsible for the existence of?"

[@aronnemcsik]

most humans: ALL OF THEM! alien: But how? humans: We got bored...

[@benw7616]

I can see this being a game... "so how many rules are you responsible for? I got 4 in my first month"

[@DigitalAlexN]

Not throwing mice ( or any other organism (I tried)) off the roof,

[@Silva-ww9hm]

Not to create a portal of a black hole

[@mariahuber1438]

Not being allowed to turn microwaves or other cooking utensils into warships or equiping them with any kind of point defence systems

[@onehouse4022]

This is hilarious. Reminds me of a DM who made a document called Compact Of The Gods which was a peace treaty between the Heavens & Hells but read like that. The time travel clauses took it even further.

[@adam-bf8li]

Human :- Hi professor! Can- Alien Professor :- How about no! Human :- That's is xenophobic professor! We deserve unbiased treatment! Just because some huma- Alien Professor :- Ok. Sure. I'll take a look of your genetic modification application..if.. there's no sharp claws involved. I'm giving you a chance by being extremely specific here. So..does the modification have any relation to anything with. SHARP. CLAWS? Human :- It..um.. Human Professor :- Come now. I said I'll take a look at your application if it doesn't involved anything with sharp claws. Not regular claws, just sharp ones. Human Student :- Well look at the time, I have to be somewhere that's..not here.

[@benw7616]

Human: It does not have sharp claws. Prof: What about teeth or horns? Human: None of that. (Comes in a few weeks later with a giant meat eating turtle with a spiked club tail and sharp beak) Human: As you can see i followef all the rules! Prof: Whag is that thing! Human: Her name is Tophalis, Eater of Worlds and she is my blood rock turtle! Prof: "eater of worlds"... Please tell me thats not literal Human: not yet, maybe some other day Prof: im going to need it put down... Human: what for?! I followed all the rules! And she didnt break any! Prof: It tor up half the field and a few buildings just coming over here! Human: thats not against the rules, we didnt break a single one. Prof: We need more rules....

[@craftysmithkeith3653]

it appears that the student has cast polymorph on his teacher

[@Gnidel]

It doesn't count as claws is it's everywhere but fingers.

[@colinguo5855]

@@benw7616 Me talking to the human: Do we tell him about the Minecraft Creeper thing?

[@benw7616]

@@colinguo5855 Well... its not against any of the rules I remember, so I dont see why not!

[@spacetechempire510]

70. Do not biuld a AI that want to exterminate life. 71. Do not equip said AI with automated production systems. 72. Do not give said AI “terminator” designs.

[@crystalalarm3]

73. Do not give said AI "Sex bot" designs.

[@comradedima9791]

74 Do not give AI a body at all

[@proudamerican183]

75 No AI in general

[@TheAussief1]

Whohoo, 10cm fire and ice breathing dragons swarms...

[@frederikanby2634]

this reminds me why i utterly despise university age peopl. give them a rule and they WILL find every way to work around it without breaking it.

[@spacetechempire510]

It’s even worse for law school students.

[@frederikanby2634]

@@spacetechempire510 i can imagine. i suspect that once they have been there a week, in their minds, they are certified law experts.

[@Da_Shark]

Precisely Because doing dumb and or stupid and or dangerous things are very fun More so in combination Just be glad you never met someone with the blatant disregard for law as significant as I

[@frederikanby2634]

@@Da_Shark i know for a fact i have met worse. How many do yiu know that magic broownies for the teachers lounge at college??

[@FreeOfFantasy]

The people who argued after logic 101 that the "No eating and drinking in the lab!" Sign means they are allowed to do both separately.

[@haydenrobbie7368]

68 no putting signs outside of campuse stateing "no fun allowed"

[@ColdFusionPower512]

"If a human and a farkardakan are in a relationship, please let us know ahead of time so we can install more soundproofing"" excuse me WHAT

[@annabelledailey6364]

I love the fact that they request not to tell them why humans are ingered

[@UNSCPILOT]

Probably causes the medical staff more stress to know how it happened, because humans are great at creating insane scenarios

[@SalemSalamander]

I literally had my own injury log book in primary school because of how I would have like 3 injury’s a day and I still do dumb stuff now for the hell of it or and I quote “it looked fun” so I honestly don’t blame them.

[@derpionderpson1424]

I want to say we wouldn’t do all that, but sports rules says we definitely would do all that... if there is a loophole or a thing not banned by the rules then sooner or later a human will do it....

[@WardNightstone]

90% of game update patches are to remove exsploits

[@susiearnold]

Oh hey it's space M.I.T. I must go there now I don't care if I have to cryogenicly freeze myself or have someone in the future clone my body and upload a copy of my consciousness into the clone I must attend this school now.

[@bansheexii]

I like that you can tell there was a story behind each of these rules

[@WardNightstone]

i wonder if anyone took that idea and ran with it using these as story hooks

[@Voron_Aggrav]

Certainly a few of the rules where a case of ok we can't do this, How about this then?

[@Allantitan]

I see these less as “rules” and more as “loose guidelines”

[@austinteal3645]

💀

[@dulizardglasses3170]

Wait if hard-core rule 34 is considered a psychological weapon I have one of the greatest arsenals in the world

[@meme_stealer8421]

They did not make a rule that says making the floor become sand for a few seconds smh

[@spacetechempire510]

58. Do not turn the floor into sand. 59. Do not turn the building into sand. 60. Do not turn anything into sand unless it is approved by a non human geology/ engineering professor.

[@voidcore9323]

@@spacetechempire510 61. DO NOT bring eldridge horrors into creation. 62. ANYTHING related to H.P Lovcraft is to be purged with fire. 63. In case fire dosen't work trow it into a black hole. 64. If that doesn't work, run.

[@aronnemcsik]

@@voidcore9323 62-B No you can not use a Lovecraftian Monster to build a flamthrower and chase it while yelling "Purge the Xenos with fire brothers"!

[@voidcore9323]

@@aronnemcsik the actual rule is 62-B You can use a flamethrower on an already existing eldridge horror, you cannot create a new one as an excuse to make/use a flamethrower. Anyone found to be making/to have made one will face immediate disciplinary actions.

[@meme_stealer8421]

They said nothing about fusion bomb's smh

[@StupidTired]

This almost reads exactly like an eco list of things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do

[@Wilkidw]

Ah the scifi version of Skippy's list. These are always fun.

[@blackops555]

Do not scream "DO THEM ALL!! DO THE WHOLE FUCKING VILLAGE!!!" whenever we go out on patrol.

[@frederikanby2634]

hmm... cant say blood for the blood god...... cant say ffor the emperor........ i got it !!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!!

[@aronnemcsik]

I would just walk around and Yell to the homies "Heresy Brothers!"

[@frederikanby2634]

@@aronnemcsik dude seract YT for "why Are we here sfm" and choose the top one. Thst popped into mind as I read your comment

[@DigitalAlexN]

How about f*** the NCR, or hail Caesar, um how about you belong on a cross Xeno professor: please stop... Me still talking: Never should have come here!

[@frederikanby2634]

@@DigitalAlexN No lollygaggin

[@lordInquisitor]

HERETIC

[@voidcore9323]

Sitting here, I'm honestly surprised they haven't made some sort of weaponized nightmare terror goose.

[@aronnemcsik]

They haven't botten that bored yet...

[@DigitalAlexN]

I'm pretty sure that's the eldrick horror one

[@comradedima9791]

I'm coming from the future.I got bad news and worse news.which do you want to hear first

[@voidcore9323]

@@comradedima9791 Both.

[@comradedima9791]

@@voidcore9323 bad news:they did make weaponize goose that is bigger,stronger,more intteligent that rebel against us worse news:they can build giant death laser AND giant planet melting plasma canon better than us

[@Tiragron99]

Oh man, I wonder what they'd do to us Monster Hunter fans XD Just imagining a bunch of aliens being introduced to a Duramboros would be hilarious XD

[@jacobgra5]

Students are not allowed to carry swords bigger than there body to school while staring down other predators Students aren't allowed big swords period

[@mrbuttocks6772]

I would imagine shit like Dalamadur or Valstrax would TERRIFY them. First one, well its a giant fucking snake. Second one flies as fast as a jet and can shoot lasers.

[@lishark843]

58- before showing any videogame to any non-human, they should firm a contract 59- before showing any anime to any non-human, they should firm a contract 60- before showing any cultural entertainment to any non-human, they should firm a contract 61- a relative also must firm the upper mentioned contract

[@stalinsoulz7872]

@@lishark843 -60 do not recreate or animate "videogame monsters" -61 do not give other species giant blades for said "recreational videogame monsters" to fight -62 under no circumstances,Medical staff are ordered to fully used all resources regarding human injuries, any other species well not required to be given a reason for Injuries if conversing with human activities. -63 Humans are temporarily banned from coercing relationships with the rathi species -64 head of staff are to be informed ahead of time if a human-rathi relationships cohabitation, installation of soundproofing and medical staff are on standby for human injuries to incur

[@user-dy3jr9we7d]

All I learned from this is that Dragons are real.

[@DeinocheirusWithAGun]

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

[@Danieljfriend275]

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

[@keepermovin5906]

SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

[@jaslynlee4405]

Number 18 proves aliens don't watch Gravity Falls

[@aerfwefd7334]

1 gram of antimatter is a *really REALLY* big boom

[@spacetechempire510]

It’s more than the atomics dropped on Japan during WW2

[@aerfwefd7334]

@@spacetechempire510 By a wide margin.

[@voidcore9323]

Did you all miss the augmented to unheard of levels part?

[@drtidrow]

@@spacetechempire510 Both of them combined - one gram of antimatter yields about 42kT.

[@Sharkakaka]

I am going to make a goose tornado and set it off at the classroom or just cover the hallways with self replicating bubbles. Which one should I do?

[@alexejvecera6317]

Yes

[@andrewbaker4652]

Not going to lie, I kind of want to enroll there now.

[@lewistrundell]

This one made me laugh, a lot

[@anycombo]

Ditto 😂😂

[@purpledevilr7463]

COMMENTS FOR THE COMMENT GOD! FOR THE ALGORITHM!

[@EnraEnerato]

Lol, I can easily see myself in a position where up to 5 rules may could have happened due to something I would do. I can also see myself causing at least 3 more listings, that are not yet present, one of which would include mad laughter... I wonder... does this make me a bad person, should be something I should seek a psychiatrist for, or is this the „normal madness“ of us humans? I honestly can‘t tell...

[@crystalalarm3]

Hell I was looking for the loopholes while the list was going, as the saying goes "We're all a little bit mad down here."

[@oniris3326]

I can see that all hell break loose

[@MarkJohnson-ro1ed]

As an Australian, I do have a problem with number 20 on this list. Historically, we stopped taking prisoners in the Boer War... They're just too much trouble in the long run!

[@WardNightstone]

galactic rules of war if someone surrenders you can't kill them

[@seanwright6222]

@@WardNightstone who said anything about them being dead there just missing a spine

[@biohazardcontainment345]

@@seanwright6222 missing? quite sure i know where his spine is. in that aliens nose.

[@theconvictedquokka]

​@seanwright6222 different type of nose beers

[@thenthson]

A yeet class tugboat. I want one.

[@jackdare]

What about cloning the dead and they just happen to reanimate.. kinda like a zombie but _not_ a zombie?

[@voidcore9323]

What about LIVING undead, no mind, no soul, just a perfectly functional alive body, controlled by someone?

[@jackdare]

@@voidcore9323 Good question.. they definitely need to clarify or amend these rules!

[@someguy9737]

Define "recently deceased" please. No I have no intention to make any kind of construct

[@RandomPerson8492]

Man, it might be a nitpick but people really should do research and/or proofread things before they throw out numbers. The upper limit of these "antimatter firecrackers" has an energy yield on par with nuclear weapons. We're talking 21 kiloton yields. Even what needs to be cleared with a department head is a 2 kt yield

[@greyclydesdale]

Weaponised rule 34 XD. The kind of s*** that would give a New York cop PTSD.

[@DigitalAlexN]

Eye wole f***ing? Corpse mutalation fetish? Incest? Robot incest? Brother ai to human brother incest(one of the megamans), f***ing a cheetah, What you have to be more specific

[@jakebswenka]

I totally lost it on the cargo ship having enough weapons to be a Dreadnought lol Space Engineers fans made that rule and the YEET class tugboat as well

[@cameronknox7567]

Noone said we couldn't create nanobots that turned the hole school into a hive mind... *grins wickidly* I have to go... Um... To the bio labs!

[@DigitalAlexN]

Hey don't forget to Maniacly laugh while doing it, it's in the rules

[@drtidrow]

67 is the catch-all they added after the last human who tried to pull that stunt...

[@WhatIsThatThingDoing]

Future projects: -Nemesis BOW (RE3 remake) -T-1000 terminator -Sentinel drones (The Matrix) -At least one permutation of the FEV virus, altered for variably malevolent or beneficent purposes -Zombies (Any source. Maybe one of each.) -The Spartan program, variably a pre-existing or personally designed iteration. -Space Marines -Grey goo

[@DigitalAlexN]

@@WhatIsThatThingDoing Dude do you want the entirely of reality to be consumed by a gray goo? No? Then put down the stethoscope

[@eliandervalderen5849]

What about blood for the hangged King?

[@drtidrow]

The back story for all of these rules would be really interesting to read. ^_^

[@charagem6764]

Blood for the blood god

[@bluefalconssuck5881]

I had a Company Comander tell me... _"Anything that makes you laugh, chuckle, giggle, or snort is expressly forbidden... Anything that makes you smile, smirk, or sigh requires permission from all parties involved and clearence from Command staff"._ This was later updated with... _"All requests must be done in-person and not through 'alternative means' of communication"._

[@viridityone3106]

Rule 9 for the win

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

To be fair, the most important rule.

[@DigitalAlexN]

So I can't show my collection of [redacted due to rule 9 of the school council] to my flying pals? boo

[@alithanar8]

Did number 44 in Dnd once... good times

[@lazygamer8076]

1 gram of antimatter is a nuke bro, a big one too.

[@WardNightstone]

good way to turn a large planet into a small sun

[@Mgl1206]

They blew up a moon of course.

[@dirkphillips9311]

Blood for the blood God, for the emperor!

[@swimmernick]

1 gram of antimatter could level a city block

[@traviskrebs7551]

I think it can do a lot more then that

[@DemiNek0]

Whit some of the rules you can just see the thought proccess on how the initial rules were broken xD

[@salamanderofvulkan7419]

Speaking of modifying predators you think we could make a dragon with a big lizard with a bombidier beattle gland for asid breath and wings?

[@phoenixgoldwing3677]

Doctor Bright, NO.

[@soulhunter6438]

"Evil genius laugh" How about yes on dragons

[@ImTheJackel]

That, was GLORIOUS!

[@miri5373]

ok the last 2 ones just made me crack completly

[@rustyshackleford5144]

"yeet class tugboats". Oh yeah, that is DEFINITELY going to be a thing one day.

[@seatbelttruck]

We can't even modify predators to turn them into quasi-doggos? :(

[@Nopenguin4875]

They didn't say we can't modify prey to become predators

[@stain1095]

@@Nopenguin4875 yes

[@comradedima9791]

@@Nopenguin4875 I got bad news,worse news and worst news.which one you want to hear first

[@Nopenguin4875]

@@comradedima9791 bad new first

[@comradedima9791]

@@Nopenguin4875 bad news:most herbivore become carnivore include but not limited to:moose elephant,deer,goat,and boar worse news: they somehow got smarter and now they got cybernetic enhancement worst news: hivemind goosebot

[@couriersix4252]

"do not built castles" Dorn:I am comming there and I'm going to make that building a castle

[@brendamayfuller8803]

Well, there is no rule about equipping visiting space craft with active shields capable of crushing an enemy to dust like a fly caught between two fly swatters so....

[@Irmarinen]

56. Sad loyalist noises :(

[@frederikanby2634]

dont worry. there is stilll " SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!!

[@bernardoluis7699]

Or SCIENCE FOR THE SCIENCE GOD

[@frederikanby2634]

@@bernardoluis7699 thats actually more horrifying that "blood for the blood god"

[@pikachufantastic]

Don't forget Milk for the Khornflakes

[@frederikanby2634]

@@pikachufantastic can you imagine, an alien crew, sitting around having breakfeast, and suddenly hearing a collective roar from the human habitat on the ship. "MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES!!! BACON FOR THE FRYING PAN!!" followed by a horde of running feet as the chanting grows louder and louder and gets closer and closer

[@AmazingMezmer]

I’m (partially) responsible for Rule 66, this is what happens when you put any number of technoblade fans in the same room. Also space volleyball still happens.

[@blackwatchgrunt2702]

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE STRIKE THEM DOWN WITH ALL OUR MIGHT

[@aronnemcsik]

FOR THE EMPEROR!

[@akriegguardsman]

*artillery sounds

[@QruisS]

Me: *Noticing the amount of loopholes found that required an extra rule to be added* Also me: Everything after the "Do not edit this document" rule is pretty much invalid instantly since any new rule would require editing that document, even if its not modifying older rules.

[@Roosauec]

The first three rules came about when "Oh, this isn't a firecracker, it's a fire*work*."

[@mikkelnpetersen]

Rule 5 is going to save them SOOOO much paperwork. And rule 19 is simply "I don't even WANT to know" Rule 29 *O.O*

[@Felix-gv1ij]

"Rule34" is really a psycological weapon...

[@aronnemcsik]

What about making Astartes? Space marines aren't clones so they can be made...

[@crystalalarm3]

They did mention all humans are heavily modified, I just assume everyone is a space marine at this point.

[@sivadfa]

I have a vitally important question: how many takes did this take? I would have had extreme difficulty getting through this list without breaking a gut with laughter.

[@cloudedarctrooper]

this is so utterly absurd, but also such a realistic depiction of what humans would quickly try to do when alien supertechnology becomes commonplace lmao

[@juhasznagyjozsef]

Iirc, there are additional rules to this list.

[@tzortzinis1]

Fuck yes... Those are my people

[@alexs5814]

I like 67, it's so clear and concise...

[@amitasrivastava493]

You mean 57?

[@naeth6250]

20, 23, and 35 are the most intriguing rules

[@Destroy10151]

Narrator this is for you

[@notthemama7296]

"Humans are not to modify predators, in general, to make them ore dangerous or terrifying". We spent thousands of years turning wolves into pugs and mountain lions into tabbys. We would not make them more terrifying, we would do everything in our power to make them more lap sized and cuddly!

[@Nizati]

This sounds more like 'humans are space trickster fae' and honestly, that is valid too.

[@reesewhittington6778]

3:07 O h m y g o d there is a story here and i want to make fanfiction about it

[@roadspikes8597]

I feel like you're having way too much fun with these

[@KBomb86]

The internet calls us space orcs, but really, we are more like space fae. We live for the mischief.

[@Scylla_real]

"turn this assholes spine into powder and make his buddies snort it." My new favorite quote!

[@lairdcummings9092]

I think I would just weaponize 'mad scientist laughter' for whenever I felt like screwing with folks' minds. Whether or not I'm *actually* up to no good is beside the point. Actually, if I'm doing 'the laugh,' I'm already up to no good, even if I have no *other* projects in mind.

[@sunds4500]

7:45 THE EMPEROR'S NAME STRIKES FEAR IN THE XENOS ONCE AGAIN! THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!

[@AlRobNB]

I had a good laugh over this one ❤😂🎉 Nice work

[@fabrisseterbrugghe8567]

This was brilliant.