Best HFY Stories: Annexation Failed

[@kireta21]

"from technology we've seen on their planet, they likely had digital computers for few thousand of years" uh oh...

[@taitano12]

We've had PCs for around 50 years and we're already playing with Quantum Computers. If that's what they call a thousand years of development, just what we SAW with their arrival don't be surprised if we pulled off the 100K^2 ship well before we got halfway through reverse engineering the thingamajig they left behind.

[@DeathclawJedi]

Time to REDNECK Science this shit! lol

[@kylerd5663]

@@taitano12 In my head it is a 100k^3 area and the aliens are looking at a giant Borg cube. 🥳

[@kireta21]

@@taitano12 It would be theoretically possible for civilization to softlock self tech-wise by failing to make breakthrough for variety of reasons, and keep developing early, highly inneficient, tech. For example if they didn't develop transistors, their computer tech advancement would be limited by their ability to miniaturize vaccum tubes, and ability to provide them with enough power and clear waste heat. This would make computers very costly to make and run, exponentially more the more powerful they are, meaning no market for computers more powerful than their intended jobs require.

[@taitano12]

@@kireta21 And it sounds like that's the usual means of advancement in this story's universe. 😁👍

[@AustralianGrizzly]

They left a Rosetta Stone and expected us not to play with it.

[@Robplayswithdragons]

Exactly. Yes the computers wiped but the hardware is still there to play with.

[@thomasschulz2167]

Odds are pretty good they got Linux to run on it. From there reverse engineering got a whole lot easier.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

They expected us to play around with it and get nowhere.

[@ionryful]

​@@thomasschulz2167 They probably got Doom to run on it too!

[@billcook7285]

Zeno's: we are here to Annex you". Humans : "ahhh, you better get off my lawn".

[@legodoc1853]

Adapt or Die. That is the rule of Earth

[@blackfire3744]

Nothing speeds up human tech like a war.

[@darkiee69]

And cooperation

[@krevor4095]

@@darkiee69 War IS cooperation.

[@taitano12]

Even a fake war. 😁

[@KuDastardly]

Basically, Earth's gravity fucked over the alien's annexation plans to Hell, lol.

[@spaceengineeringempire4086]

Yup leaving some tech on earth even if it’s at least 10 years old can still jumpstart a entire industry to rediculas lecels

[@davidblakley6806]

Terra protects her children in many ways

[@masterblasterT47]

Underestimating your opponent is a sure way to lose the battle before it even starts.

[@GarmrsBarking]

to be fair.. they were a diplomat and not a military commander....

[@KaiHenningsen]

@@GarmrsBarking But not gathering intelligence *first* - surely even diplomats know that's a bad idea!

[@GarmrsBarking]

​@@KaiHenningsen sure... but not so long ago there was an american diplomat who came home from her time in denmark... she thought that the politicians in denmark must be poor because some of them cycled to work instead of driving expensive cars... she was there for 4 years without catching on that denmark is in the top 5 of the world's cycling nations... my point is that diplomats are not always chosen because of their qualifications....

[@kylerd5663]

@@GarmrsBarking that is funny lol

[@Mark73]

"without the data in its computers to aide them, the humans at their current level of development will be unable to reverse engineer our technology" And the entire HFY community released a collective "PFFT!"

[@BeeKisses]

Ngl that offer is fair as fuck

[@user-sq5mr8ut1o]

I mean it's gunboat diplomacy but at least you have the chance to build your own gun boat and see who's is better

[@phyrath5]

​@@user-sq5mr8ut1oAnd if you're good at it but not amazing you can still choose protection plus benefits relative to your gunboating skills.

[@luzifershadres]

>While humanity wouldnt had been able to build a fleet to defeat a invasion fleet, 10 years is still enough time to uterlize hyper advanced alien tech to build a ship that could defeat a half a fleet, to buy enough time to actually build one.

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

lmfao humanity made a borg cube.

[@GarmrsBarking]

or a attack moon...

[@brianrussell2441]

@@GarmrsBarking In ORKISH accent: I SEE USE A MAN OF KULTURE

[@warlockghovat5745]

No need to worry about aerodynamics if the ship never leave space.

[@warlockghovat5745]

@@brianrussell2441umiez are da space boiz.

[@samsignorelli]

@@GarmrsBarking "That's no moon...."

[@Questor-ky2fv]

Thanks for posting this funny story! I'm still chuckling.😂 Engineers all over the Earth love to tinker, and many are good at reverse engineering things. I started laughing the moment the alien said that they had to leave a decommissioned ship behind on Earth and laughed even more when he said that they had wiped the computers. There are governments, corporations, and private citizens today who are good at retrieving data from wiped drives. Oh! And they even gave us a whole 10 years to prepare for their competition! How generous! 😂 I'm in my mid-60s. There have been tons of advances in tech in my lifetime, so in 10 years, we can do a lot. I cracked up at the end when WE brought the competition to THEM! 😂 About that annexation deal, WE are going to annex YOU! 😂

[@samsignorelli]

Y'know...MAYBE they should've done the investigations of Earth history BEFORE making the big threat.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Overconfidence, it is always overconfidence that gets them. Primitive does not equal dumb, only less technologically advanced. Many human conquerors have made that mistake.

[@Ral9284]

Aliens: *their karfligglurds dropped to the floor. Humans: ... Aliens: *close their karfligglurds Aliens: "We offer you a seat in the consul, and veto powers. Humans: "That's nice a start."

[@ShadeThe777]

Aliens : We annex you Humans : Tell the boyz on the Death Star to spin the main drive, we're going for a walk

[@CowCommando]

And here I thought the arena humanity would pick would be under the ocean. The humans would win by default as the aliens likely wouldn't even have a vessel capable of even getting into the engagement zone without getting crushed.

[@timthomschke8542]

Why not fly to space, let the shuttles out and pick up the one left behind?😅

[@norsehawk]

arrogance. You wouldn't think twice about going to work with your cat in your apartment with access to your computer. At the time, they thought humans took thousands of years with access to computers to get where we are, instead of less than 100

[@timthomschke8542]

@norsehawk ok and why deleat everythink from the computer?

[@phyrath5]

​@@timthomschke8542Because its AI could dumb down anything to estimated Human level.

[@krevor4095]

@@timthomschke8542 You don't leave the key in the lock.

[@norsehawk]

@@timthomschke8542 the cat could still sit on the keyboard... asdfasdifhasidfgadsjgaksdghaskdfjgadskghsadkjgakjdsgfaksjdfaksjdgaskdjgaskdjgasdkjgasdkjfghasdfjkgasdkjgsdkfjagskdjfguygaekjbakjbcuib

[@dracius0keep]

We are the Terrans. We have added your technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated into the Terran Empire

[@radfordra]

5:18 hahahahahha that adorable you think that. Careful front row is a splash zone.

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

Exactly. Just having data collected from SEEING a working model in action would advance our understanding of it. ACTUALLY having a working model we can examine in detail really cranks up the speed.

[@stoirmslw7195]

I really hope you are quoting what I think you are

[@radfordra]

@@stoirmslw7195 SAO abridged, yes

[@katumispencer]

This comment is for the youtube algorithm. Thanks for all your hard work!

[@mikkelnpetersen]

They told us to prepare, so we made a death star.

[@kirkjones9639]

There is a lesson here. Pick up your toys!

[@Jszar]

The ship’s lack of a ‘melt the important bits into slag’ system, independent from its main computers, is a remarkable oversight on the xeno’s part. Even if they didn’t expect an annex-ee to be able to reverse engineer it, one of those other interstellar empires could have shown up to take it during the intervening decade.

[@carlmorrison9789]

Merry Christmas!

[@erichherman2753]

Merry Christmas NN

[@Saeryfim]

"Learn from history, or be doomed to repeat it." also applies to ANYONE coming into contact with Humanity. Either learn from our history, or suffer the same devastation we've inflicted on ourselves in the past. If we'd nuke ourselves into ash and dust, why would we hesitate to do so when existential threats appear on our front lawn? "Oh, nice, we're not alone in the universe!" "HUMANITY, WE ARE HERE TO CONQUER YOU." *sigh* "Such a shame..." *loads shotgun*

[@rolandosada8077]

The classic move. Just let’s leave this here they can’t figure it out. 😂

[@sleeping2696]

62 mile ship is diabolocal

[@taitano12]

😳😬😨Y-you... YOU GOT THAT FROM AN ABANDONED GOLF CART?!? We were deadly serious when we said "for your own good" and all that, so... Well... Here's your new empire. And a list of those dangerous raiding slaving and/or genocidal species we... Uh... Warned you about. Please be benevolent with us. 🙏🥺 Also, our-YOUR... new commanders and soldiers are refusing to back down. They believe they'll lose, but the psychos and their soldiers want to see what this thing can do. Very "human" of them? What do you mean? Anyway, the High Admiral and the High General apparently want to sign up for one of your military accademys as cadets after the, what did you call it? War Game?

[@williamhealey1223]

1000 years?

[@catprog]

1000 years after they developed the tech the aliens were at the humans tech level.

[@drewgilbertson]

Shouldn't it be cubic kilometers?

[@JohnTheRaeder-xf5sh]

Noice!!!

[@beingsneaky]

Ok, where is the rest of the story?

[@medical-cyanide1526]

Huh, things might turn a bit better for the empire. They won’t like how much change is going to happen but as long as they don’t try to attack humanity in a knee jerk reaction humanity would probably be willing to at least be friendly if still properly separate

[@kdmbigpig]

So,.... feck around and find out?

[@InexpiateShade]

Second to keep out first