Best Jesus Jokes | Stand-Up Compilation

[@melcollie4507]

I'm Orthodox Christian, which is to say, very Christo-centric. To anyone who is offended about this video I would say: these are not jokes about Jesus; these are really jokes about us. Thank you, Jim, for sharing so much of your content. May God grant you many years!

[@johnhiggins2280]

No they are comments about the stupidity of religion,,, sarcasm is wasted on the God squad

[@Jakeito413]

Jesus suffered far worse than jokes at our hands.

[@johnhiggins2280]

@@Jakeito413 you have no evidence to provide to support that claim.

[@caesarillion]

@@johnhiggins2280 Read the book. It's spirit and a truth. And you can believe any thing you want. Amen.

[@johnhiggins2280]

@@caesarillion it's unproven stories and tales,,, the book of fantasy,,, some truth yes, biblical truth,,, nothing,,, no truth, no evidence, just faith.

[@edisonschrader4046]

My wife and I recently had a lost in our family, Your video made us forget and laugh in this time of sorrow. Thank You !! and God bless.

[@robinirwin7072]

I’m sorry for your loss 🙏

[@lawrencecann532]

Jim does a great job staying respectful of the topic while totally shreading it with humor.

[@greggoreo6738]

Shredding. O.k.? Best regards. Gregg Oreo long beach CA

[@IgonDrakeWarrior]

@@greggoreo6738 who asked for your location?

[@oldyeller6518]

@@IgonDrakeWarrior I did

[@adonis819]

Thank you Jim for doing your part to keep us all sane.

[@ginor8416]

Pandemic or not Jim is always good to calm things down

[@timoutman2421]

The tilt of your head on the miracle joke about curing blindness an constructing shelves is perfect! Classic Gaffigan punctuation!

[@drewallen8326]

Jim, Weve been evacuated from our home because of the fires in the Santa Cruz mountains and were we live on the North Coast.Watching your vidioes is one of the "normal" things we can still do.Thank you for making us laugh!!!!

[@szqsk8]

Drew Allen Bummer. Praying for everyone going through this yet again. Sending good thoughts your way - I'm in The OC.

[@tantrika.exotica]

Praying for you ALL🙏🏼❤🌍

[@Lesstroublesleeping]

Hey Jim, I 'discovered you' during this pandemic. Your standup is a real breath of fresh air during these times. I really appreciate how you respond as your audience to your jokes. Real interesting insights in your comedy. Thanks for cheering us up!

[@JimBananas]

Maybe that's why God sent the pandemic.

[@fenwayify]

@Regular Gamer Did He share that fact with you recently RG?

[@reneolguin1081]

@Regular Gamer but he'll send you to hell for eternity, just for not adoring him

[@CeeCeeArt]

I'm pretty sure that you are the only "clean" comedian that I enjoy......maybe Seinfeld too, but right now it's you that's entertaining me every day. Thanks!

[@Joy.Elizabeth]

I agree! My hubby n I love Jim Gaffigan's specials! Have u tried the specials on Netflix by Fluffy? Real name Gabriel Iglesias. He's a pretty clean comedian too (esp in the earlier specials.) Both are my all time fav comedians.

[@ChickSage]

JGafs is the bomb! If you're into clean comics, I'd recommend checking out Brian Regan, if you haven't already.

[@jharvable]

Brian Regan and Jim Breuer

[@linshanhsiang]

I wouldn't walk a yard to hear Seinfeld. Gaffigan though ....

[@edithdlp8045]

His material is SO relatable even if you are not Christian.

[@helene420]

You're delivery is masterful. You never fail to crack me up.

[@mimsyborogove3906]

Hey, I'm jealous of Helene. She got a little heart icon. You''re funny anyway, I guess.

[@charlescameron6017]

@@mimsyborogove3906 That's because Jim, unlike Jesus, ALWAYS reads and responds to his fan mail and KZbin comments!

[@brianlake2905]

"Everybody knows the apostles but this is my buddy Earl"

[@marshalbaek5580]

I'm a Christian and I thought this was great. Some of the situational things Jim brings up with Christ must have happened to some degree and were really funny even then. There is no doubt in my mind that Christ has a sense of humor and laughed at several of the scenarios Jim jokes about.

[@MajorPayne175]

Yea, I'm sure Jebus is cracking his ass up in heaven........./s can't believe grown folks still believe in that silly shit.

[@marshalbaek5580]

@@MajorPayne175 Major Payne, I fully respect your decision and personal right to not believe aliens could exist. And your decision not to doesn't stir my emotions at all Sir. But it seems my decision to believe differently than you aggregates you. I wish it didn't. I wish that so much that I'm going to explain it from a science and math perspective: Our Universe is made up of billions and billions of GALAXIES (we literally can't count them all) and we still haven't found a definitive end to our universe, only an estimate and we keep moving that estimate out - some scientists are starting to theorize the universe has no end. That said, you could get in a space ship and travel at the speed of light (186,000 miles per second) and after 50 years of traveling in that tin can, you would still need another 199,950 YEARS of travel at the SPEED OF LIGHT just to GET OUT OF OUR ONE GALAXY the Milky Way. How long would it take to explore an infinite amount of galaxies? It's mind blowing when we can't see ourselves EVER getting out of just the one galaxy we live in?! Understanding how insanely vast the universe is, are you 1,000 percent sure you believe we're the only life form that exists? Are you sure a life form far, far, more advanced than ours doesn't exist out there? And what about the string theory of 10 dimensions? If time is the 4th dimension, what do you think the 5th one is? I'm respectfully asking - because it's mind blowing to even try to guess what it could be because we have so little to go on: height, width, length, time, _____? What would the next one be? And if life existed in those dimensions, we can't see them - we might catch glimpses or slithers of them, but we would have no idea what we were looking at. No one knows how the big bang started. I don't think it's a stretch to think an Alien Life Form so far advanced ahead of us set it into motion. When you consider how massive the universe is we can see right now, and to think we can't even begin to understand the dimensions we CAN'T see and how vast they may be including more universes, I don't think it's a huge leap of faith to think we're not alone. I hope you find peace about this Major. Sincerely, I do. I won't claim I have perfect peace, but my faith and hope that we're not alone bridges the gap for me. My faith in the possibility an advanced life form that we call God exists and it makes a difference for me finding peace in many things. Regardless of whether it's imagined or real doesn't change the results it gives me in my life often. God is an alien life form so complex that it's not possible to define and definitely not possible to explain right now. Like a dog trying to understand the complete human existence. Man, my dog doesn't even get my jokes?! (rim shot).😳......but seriously: I'd hate to try and explain the Pythagorean theorem to my dog. And yes Major, I understand how to use it! Ha! I recently heard a comedian do a bit that helped in a weird way. He said he was an atheist when it came to the God of the Gym. If there's a God of the Gym, then why is there so much pain and suffering in the gym? I found that amusing and yet thought provoking. Hey - sorry this went so long - take care of yourself Major. I wish you well Sir...

[@The-Lord-Jesus-Christs-Vessel]

No this is not it this guy is not God fearing at all.

[@marshalbaek5580]

@@The-Lord-Jesus-Christs-Vessel I understand. Consider this; regardless of what Jim believes, it doesn't mean there wasn't an element of humor in some of those moments when they actually happened. Truth is still true regardless of whether or not a person fears it or believes it. Thanks for the comment Jacob! Have a great day!

[@deborahchrist1097]

Amen!!!

[@nancychen2924]

I have been a long-time fan. Thanks for making us laugh during this difficult time. And thank you for speaking out on Twitter! Much ❤ to you and your family!!

[@Soapandwater6]

The way he always makes those little side-comments in that judgmental church-lady voice is freakin' hilarious! Thanks for the good laughs, Jim! And thanks for keeping it clean.

[@layarodolph650]

"He did a jesus joke and was electrocuted... it was the best show I've ever seen" 😂😂😂 why's it tru tho

[@daneli9770]

Your saying he was really electrocuted

[@joeyzuber117]

I've been listening and loving Jim since the origin of..... "HOOOOT POCKET" I'm 46 now, so it's been a while. Still awesome as ever.

[@davidworobec1673]

His comedic timing is brilliant! He's awesome!

[@jan9659]

You remain the best, Jim Gaffigan! Thanks for the many laughs!

[@edithdlp8045]

I am recovering from a brain surgery so I can't laugh so I am saving them for when I can enjoy them. For now, I can only read the comment section.

[@caseyovermyee4916]

@@edithdlp8045 Careful...It is scientifically proven that KZbin comment sections can fuel laughter due to their potential for banter, insults, and kindergarten-level arguments. 😉

[@caseyovermyee4916]

@@edithdlp8045 To be fair, there are also some genuinely interesting people who provide random but fascinating facts. 🙂

[@pmishke]

You always make me laugh and feel good inside. I wouldn’t worry to much about all the Jesus jokes. If you get into trouble we’ll all stand behind you and back you up.

[@rapauli]

But it might be nice to have another martyr -- just in case we need to start another media church.

[@trishdawson705]

his so funny

[@yellostallion]

Love all your compilation videos, Jim. Great that you release "Jesus'" on a Sunday! You are the only comedian that makes Jesus's jokes work! They are funny as hell?

[@shirleyrombough8173]

Funny as hell! Great use of words.

[@rduff1999]

@@shirleyrombough8173 actually if you ponder Todd's remark,"funny as hell", I think you might, as certain Christians may, find that he spoke the truth since they would consider neither the jokes or hell funny Pax

[@Phooie]

​@@shirleyrombough8173your Awesome 😊

[@SIONEKENI]

“Wouldn’t it hilarious if I was electrocuted right now...” ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

[@brianheaton5521]

"Yeah, but we can still get the jackets right!?" The Apostle's joke, brilliant.

[@sirfrancisdrake2398]

Hi Jim- I saw you at a small college in Oklahoma many years ago and haven’t stop watching you since. Thanks for the work you put in for us -

[@suebrown3465]

You got me at Joseph saying “Jesus Christ” ...another well done compilation..I tip my virtual emoji hat 🎩!!

[@globetrekker86]

@Sue Brown: That was hilarious! “Oh, you already know about it…” 😂

[@markconforti7614]

“...and we’d love some shelves right here.” 😂 Can I use this in a sermon?

[@markconforti7614]

Dee_xx for sure! 😊

[@anniebieber19]

You are Awesome JG! 🌷✌🌷

[@anniebieber19]

@Sheldon Cooper So...no shelves? 🌷✌🌷

[@markconforti7614]

@jimgaffigan, I did it! Today's sermon! It killed. And then gave life.

[@jamiebom1023]

I can't handle the blind/shelves joke!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Luv-x8k]

I'm sure he will have you perform before dinner when ur up there in heaven. Well done good and faithful comic.

[@Wuppie62]

And Jesus said: "Stand up comedy, and walk!"

[@gigiarmany]

🤣😅🥳💥

[@edithdlp8045]

Great one 👍

[@tucci007da]

The apostle from Brooklyn, Frank Rizzo; "Hey Jesus, me and the boys we was talkin'..."

[@orangeknight321]

Amazing jokes on such a sensitive topic. Thank you!

[@jainfreeman9587]

Jeannie is 1 smart cookie! Her writing is impeccable.

[@LisbethAdams]

As a Catholic I am offended..that you didn't do more Jesus jokes. :)

[@LisbethAdams]

@@vanmoody A stationary Popemobile perhaps? ;)

[@LisbethAdams]

@Sky Videos So nice you said it twice! ;)

[@LisbethAdams]

@@johnbrowne3950 According to Wikipedia we make up 50.1% of Christians or we are the original pre-denominational Church. Take your pick. Jesus loves us all. :)

[@johnbrowne3950]

@@LisbethAdams There are more people who follow Islam and that is also a cult.

[@LisbethAdams]

@@johnbrowne3950 I think you are missing the point of comedy. Peace be with you.

[@kayladawn]

"I do want everybody to feel comfortable that's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus" bhahahaha 🤣🤣🤣😭🤣😭🤔🤭

[@edenswaterislife9214]

When you realise Jesus the bridegroom is trans and he told everyone he came from the jews 😂 the reason they killed him

[@shellswetrick3395]

😅😅😅😅😅😅😀😀😅😅😅

[@ninjaked1265]

@@edenswaterislife9214 he’s not trans

[@rayshelld791]

Lol, loved it.

[@bonnieburton-rr6re]

Exactly why you talk about Jesus leave it alone why don’t you just say gods name in vain while you’re at it😢 ridiculous people gotta tell these kind of jokes😂

[@melisagilbert4486]

Hi, Catholic here, this was all funny and in good taste ! So funny! Easy freak I keep work at work! Lol 😆

[@josephyork4175]

On the construction site while using a port a potty I saw the graffiti. "JESUS IS ALIVE". Response, " OF COURSE, HE'S ON THE FOURTH FLOOR HANGING DRYWALL."

[@kenbrownfield6584]

Good one Joe !

[@edithdlp8045]

Great one 👌

[@edhart9409]

Thanks Jim… As a retired professional (clean) comedian (23 years) I find it hard to watch some of the comics of today. However, you make me laugh. Thank you.

[@spincube5734]

JESUS CHRIST those are funny Jesus Christ jokes Jim !!!!!!!!

[@scottpollock1650]

You're the best. I can play your comedy to anyone. I appreciate the time it must take

[@Teddy31976]

You are definitely my favorite comedian!! Thank you for the videos and laughter 🤣🤣🤣

[@allys744]

Out of everything else, Jim’s delivery of “Joseph? YEAHH??” had me crying with laughter

[@j.p.7708]

He imitated a “Karen” before she was born.

[@scottsthoughtschannel9538]

These were FREEKING AWESOMENESS!!! LMFAO!!! I sent this to all my friends.

[@mpenny54]

I'm still recovering from Jesus's birthday! That was insane! how can anyone not love Gaffigan?

[@cristinehulse1526]

You are my favorite comedian ever!!

[@dwaynecorry7037]

Thank you Jim for all the great jokes. Takes my mind of all my life problems for a minute.

[@niahart8028]

Lol 😝! Mary-Oh you already know about it! Hilarious!

[@gitknownmedia3655]

7:10 the bread joke was so good! 😂

[@harlleygurrola8394]

That's true, People then did NOT Get the memo: Jesus was offering Himself but no one wanted to live Like him - offer yourself to others Just like I'm offering myself to You: that was the lesson Sadly, that message can apply to Us today

[@lawrencecann532]

What a great gift you are to us.

[@gdhayes2761]

I’d like to talk to you about ... Jesus. Jim nails that lilt.

[@silverstrike6048]

Nails?

[@akshaydalvi1534]

Jee-zuss

[@jondunmore4268]

Have you heard the Good News?

[@tackyman2011]

@@silverstrike6048 Oh, you didn't just say that! LOL

[@kingwinky1914]

I would totally wear that hat Jim! Thanks for the laughs brother!🤣🤣👏🏽

[@thomasbenck9525]

As a Germans i really appreciate the one about wearing socks and sandals. :-)

[@NoisyHill_]

Yes me too :D

[@wakkomole]

God bless the Germans but that totally made me think of my neighbor on that one! lol

[@annmarie6870]

Lmao!

[@nonyabidness5708]

Sadly it's a thing over here now too... mostly the young people. Lol

[@Reason1717]

As an Atheist I found these jokes so funny and also non-offensive to Christians too. Which equals brilliant! Very funny jokes true master of one's craft :)

[@harlleygurrola8394]

They are pretty fun, As long as you Can save a soul, that's all that Matters

[@Reason1717]

@@harlleygurrola8394 , Well I've never "saved a soul" as I wouldn't know when I did (no way to measure "So saved or Soul lost"). I could guess saved or hope saved or delude myself into thinking "I know" it was saved but I guess only some God or Goddess knows for sure.

[@ystoobme]

I was horrified and highly offended. Never laughed more in my life, keep up the great work Jim.

[@dayashankarupadhyay115]

All the Jokes were of an incomparable class.❤.

[@alexander-kirk]

Only person who makes Jesus talk not that uncomfortable

[@alexander-kirk]

@Conway Twitty The historicity of a person named Jesus is mostly agreed on by academic historians :) Look up "Historical Jesus" in Wikipedia. It provides a pretty good secular explanation.

[@linshanhsiang]

@@alexander-kirk What's that got to do with Jim Gaffigan?

[@davidmmm8]

@@linshanhsiang Yeah Jim G is the best.

[@monicagaytan8248]

Sir you are by far the funniest man in the world hands down!! Lmao

[@chrisbaker3066]

better than Billy Connelly?? I don't think so. He is funny though.

[@tommybell1786]

Always good! Love it.

[@freestatehomestead]

Dropping that on a Sunday morning I see 🤣🤣🤣

[@seanmacsweeney2985]

As always, great comedy 😂

[@dianewillson3261]

It's Sunday morning enjoyed your Jesus jokes, my church for this morning No Catholic guilt involved

[@drewtheunspoken3988]

Best compilation yet! Keep'em coming, Jim. These are much appreciated on days like these.

[@gnashsang]

Thanks for another Jim! You rock Sir.

[@Buzzygirl63]

OMG... teenage Jesus... acne Jesus... I'm dying here... 🤣🤣🤣

[@linshanhsiang]

Yes acne Jesus was a high point for sure. Although the healthier diet of the time may have prevented most skin problems.

[@davidmmm8]

The Jews never show the “Ultimate Jew” Jesus with even the slightest skin blemish while growing up. It is not good for their PR purposes. He must be gorgeous, albeit only 4’6” in height by evolutionary standards.

[@wakkomole]

"mustache barely growing in Jesus" 😂

[@glomontero6011]

Thank you. U r the only one who has ever made Jesus name fun & funny and Not in a bad way. I luv that about you all funny and all non offensive thanks.

[@jerostormyfire4360]

Jim Gaffigan, once again you made my day! Thank You!

[@Bubba1960.]

I love both Jim, and Jesus, and they're absolutely right, socks and sandals were never, nor will they ever be....cool!

[@edithdlp8045]

Actually, socks and sandals are an aweful combination.

[@shirleyrombough8173]

@@edithdlp8045 - "What am I, German?"

[@edithdlp8045]

@@shirleyrombough8173 ???

[@ShadoHHR]

@@edithdlp8045 - but have you ever noticed just how many people are wearing that combo?

[@Cindyd-k3e]

Socks with sandals has never bothered me.

[@sergeyyagelskiy8141]

I have found your videos only a two days ago for the first time ever. Cause I am russian, you know. A proper Russian, I mean. Like Russia's russian. And I just can't stop watching you, Jim. You're great! Those Jesus jokes are funniest stuff I ever heard. Sorry for my bad English, btw. )

[@charlesstratford1612]

loved the jokes, brought a good laugh all around. Really appreciate the share and talent

[@scottlasley4593]

The poor people may look at my art. Just don't let them get their peasant hands on it... I heard banana hands! Haha! Everyone needs a good Jesus joke on a Sunday 😂

[@Bl00dBl055um]

I love how your jokes are funny no matter what you believe. I am an atheist and your Jesus jokes are funny.

[@LeesaGio]

Jesus Loves The Gaffigan's💜

[@robjohnson7878]

Don’t we all!!

[@jennycottini8124]

Do we love Jesus.

[@lesgoutsetlescouleurslglc1832]

Jesus is gay

[@axiom.ai.obviousbattletank7139]

Wonderful

[@1234-b6n]

well atleast one of them

[@tirebiter4009]

So, jesus was preaching and said, "let he who is without sin cast the first stone". Suddenly a rock hits him smack in the forehead. He looks into the crowd and shouts, "That isn't funny, mom!"

[@joepingue2120]

Excellent

[@gregoryeaston9396]

"You made wine? Jesus, we're not supposed to drink! We're Baptists! - Oh, it was just really good grape juice... Oh, well then, bravo." - The carpentry. The miracles. The flannel graph boards in Sunday School. How can anyone NOT laugh?

[@louiseevans5752]

WE NEED * HIM * N O W TO PERFORM THE * M I R A C L E * OF GETTING R I D OF THE CCP-VIRUS...HALLELUJAH / AMEN/ PRAISE THE LORD...ASK & YE SHALL RECEIVE !!

[@linshanhsiang]

@@louiseevans5752 You mean like he got rid of the Spanish flu?

[@TUHOANG-wq6jv]

@@louiseevans5752 ft

[@thepixelpusher]

Jim, you are Gods gift to us!

[@stevecannon4780]

My mother introduced me to her new husband. She said "This is my husband JC." I said "Jesus Christ !" Their jaws dropped. My mother got the joke at that moment and started laughing so hard I wondered if she was going to pass out. She said she had never thought of that. He just didn't believe that I would say that. My mouth has almost no filter.

[@eileencullen8682]

Hilarious. I'd be afraid to say those. Jim, you're great

[@doloresgruszka2806]

"You can reenact my birth scene with dolls."

[@cocoagirl]

I'm a Christian, and I love these jokes! When you crack these, I bet he's having a laugh too 😆 I especially like that Mary and Joseph one... the line at the end. The best!! 😆😛 The apostles from Brooklyn, lolzzz. hat one of Jesus multiplying bread - loved to see your facial expressions, etc. "Yeah, I'll just take the food bread..." the shifty eyes...😆🤣😂 You keep me laughing!! Keep up the amazing work!!

[@MajorPayne175]

shirt., Christ is laughing in heaven......WTF?

[@riverraisin1]

I watch some comedians doing stand up on KZbin and wonder why the audience is laughing so hard at mediocre jokes. I watch Jim Gaffigan and wonder why the audience isn't laughing as hard as I am. This guy is hilarious! And my neighbors would prefer I closed the windows.

[@absatwell8163]

This is the best! Thanks Jim!

[@user-sb3wh3dd4v]

Not offended enough... but I LOVED it anyway!

[@seyfunega2018]

Exactly

[@dannyspitzer1267]

I've always loved these! More Jeebus jokes please!

[@MrNando7986]

I'm Catholic and I don't get offended by a joke.

[@anonymousjohnson976]

The Baptists are the ones who get offended.

[@khaledking5408]

I m Muslim and I already feel I ll go to hell for laughing at this 😂

[@greggoreo6738]

Dear Khaled King. Jesus loves Muslims.... i have it on Good Authority. Bless you. Gregg Oreo long beach CA

[@khaledking5408]

@@greggoreo6738 Muslims love Jesus,I can ensure you that !

[@kcutie359]

@Jai huh

[@chacesimpson2856]

@@khaledking5408 if they love him,they would follow him not Mohaaamed

[@khaledking5408]

@@chacesimpson2856 they are though, they pray just like he prayed to the father by putting their heads on the ground in submission to God, one thing Mohamed insisted on is that Jesus was a great prophet

[@amarie0908]

Awesome stuff... Jesus gives you a lot of material. 😆

[@clarity2478]

Jim didn't expect this to be so funny! Wow you are great in the funny department! Glad I found you. Thanks for laughs!

[@sideshowtink]

The best! Always! The poor people may look at my art. LOLOL

[@Sommerset1969]

You rock Your the best it’s all so true!!!! Thank you for great material

[@sarahdee374]

I believe that Jesus (more than anyone!) has broad shoulders and a kick-ass sense of humor. I'd love to have hung out with him, had a couple glasses of water and then wine, and told some jokes.

[@susanmfhorn]

😂 Hop to it “Jesus” 😂

[@djfinesse1]

As one who believes Jesus is the lord and savior of all mankind, I find these jokes absolutely... brilliant, creative, and hilarious!!!

[@josephrohland5604]

Matthew 15:24- “I only came for the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”~Jesus Christ first century

[@MonicaGloHernandez]

Life is so hard, it's important to take a moment and laugh 😂😅 Thank you Jim for the gift of laughter. 😉

[@wakkomole]

Absolutely hilarious!!!!! 😂

[@sayresrudy2644]

this material is gold. saw him in NYC & it rocked.

[@mirjamkohler263]

Hilarious!!!! Keep it up Jim!

[@phil-tw3lm]

hands down the best comedian ever on this earth..

[@bmeclipse]

Jesus would’ve been great at Home Depot. “Oh, hi. Can I ask you about God?” “Um, I’m in a hurry. My toilet’s plugged.” “How about filling out this quick survey on solar panels?”

[@bruland2000]

You are SO funny. Thank you thank you thank you. We saw you in Chicago's airport once, with five kids in tow, and didn't want to bother you but really were happy to see you in full on Dad mode. - Jeffery Bruland

[@jackwood8307]

Jesus Christ that was funny!😂

[@renaldonormani6646]

Just started tuning in a few weeks ago....now....just Have to...Thanks Jim!

[@junojem]

I love Jim's jokes he's AMAZING🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😁😁😁😁😁😁😃😃😃

[@mrs.b.5864]

Loved this. Keep ‘em comin’. Love your humour…not just on this topic.🇨🇦