Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #27

A wise man once said, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Well, if that’s the case, judging by the length of this video these are four of the most witless clown-fools on the internet today. Mike, Jay, Jack and Rich Evans are perhaps the dumbest humans that have ever krebbed in my shorts. Hi I’m retired underground illegal casino pit boss Krebs Gorlon, and today I write to you from my home in war-torn Haiti to tell you about this newest episode of Best of the Worst. I'm farting as I type this due to the bacteria ravaging my colon, but I will try to make sense. Boy, it sure has been a long time since we’ve seen the boys watch three feature films, eh? But alas, today they are spinning the Wheel of the Worst™ again... There’s something about old, undiscovered tapes that makes my taint tingle with the titillating excitement of that first time I killed a man. Rich and Jack display a palpable level of non-excitement at this prospect in our video’s opening. Trust me, I get it. Sometimes these tapes can be a nightmare. Sometimes they can be a lot of fun though. It’s about as exciting as being forced to play a game of Russian Roulette with your precious time and sanity. Mike (the ugly fat one) appears to be the most unhinged of them all in this episode. You see Jay (the hippie clown) had haplessly purchased a case of “Hazy IPAs”. Silly little man that he is, he purchased solely on the style of the packaging. A lovely hazy as it is though. Voodoo Ranger’s Tropical Force. A product made by New Belgium brewing. Note: They are a NON-Sponsor. In fact, we’ll probably get sued showing what vile filth comes out of Mike’s mouth after drinking a dozen of these. So essentially what was cut from the video was Mike berating Jay on his foolish purchase. You see, the supply in the RLM booze fridge with thin at best. Jay bought beer cause he liked the green/yellow package design and was thrilled at the sight of a skeleton aviator on the can. What he didn’t check was the ABV, which is at a very healthy 9.5%. Mike’s been around the block a few times more than Jay so that’s the very first thing Mike checks. After our Half in the Bag “What are these super bottles?!” incident when Mike accidentally drank 9 beers that were 12%, he knows to check. ABV stands for alcohol by volume. It also stands for how soon Mike becomes a slurring monster who can’t say the word “apartment” and passes out into a bonfire suffering 2nd degree burns on his wang and dumplings - rendering all his man-parts useless. However, Mike faced a difficult choice: Deal with the unbearable state of sobriety or drink the beers that are 9.5% and hope for the best. He chose the latter. Krebs does not approve. The results will be apparent as the night goes on. In the end though, what we have here is another classic Wheel of the Worst. So settle in for the next 90 minutes with your favorite beverage and snack and prepare to laugh, cry, and soil yourself with laughter that will give you nightmares for the rest of your sad lives.

[@natalieshark]

That girl is word processing the death of her father.

[@emisformaker]

Gold! Thank you.

[@maitele]

I'm going to need a Panasonic of my own to process this _fucking_ joke...

[@VerbalLearning]

Of her faux pas pas.

[@user-ot2me4ic3s]

damn i wish they thought of this pun, lol

[@teidenzero]

well done

[@theconfidentialreport]

Isn't it wonderful that Rich can string together a sentence like "Bible Baby's blood barrier has been breached by bad bacteria", while also saying "Folding Chable" and "The Moopies"?

[@Lark1610]

His brain works in 5 dimensions at least, he is a supreme specimen, mere mortals like us will never be able to comprehend the phenomenon that is Rich Evans.

[@DistractedGlobeGuy]

He's Cory Beck's real father! We found him!

[@ohboy9077]

OH SHIT HERE COMES PACMAN

[@Kidd724]

It's what he's here for. It's his purpose.

[@AxelSpott]

The moops? They invaded Europe.

[@FrunkisOreilly]

When I was 12, a tornado destroyed my friends neighborhood. My parents and I helped his family salvage what we could from the rubble. My friend and I decided to take a break and go walk the creek where we always hung out when I stayed there. What we found had to be one of the world's largest playboy collections scattered throughout the woods. Released by the tornado to serve it's natural purpose. I've never felt more like the universe was alive and purposeful.

[@sapphirethedude2010]

I need them to pin this comment, holy shit

[@Lemuzaurio_streams]

When I was 11 there was a porn mag stash on the underbrush of the forest behind my school. Curiously we always joked a tornado brought them there.

[@XanthinZarda]

Was this Jarrel, by any chance?

[@FrunkisOreilly]

@@XanthinZarda Moore Oklahoma. May 3rd 1999.

[@andyholstein237]

@@XanthinZarda Not even porn could survive Jarrell.

[@StephanosBlack]

I'm a little sad that Best of the Worst is no longer a comedy show, but I do enjoy the very serious discussions about technology, religion, and disease.

[@matthewcrome5835]

Not to mention pornography in the woods

[@novakrabby]

Jay, Mike and Rich respectively

[@TK199999]

Don't forget the deep discussion of Demonology. That Bible Baby thing was straight out of Hellrasier.

[@AntLionAlpha]

"My best of the worst is Bible Baby because I like characters like Don Beveridge, Eloise Cole." -Mike, they guy who chose the school bus safety video over Rem Lezar

[@nothing4mepls973]

Damn, this made me realize we basically have enough characters for a BOTW Cinematic Universe. My dream crossover would be the worm lady, the gopher gore guy, and David Carradine.

[@dorkydragon5055]

i need SOS vs Genesis orc guy

[@StrumstarHammer]

@@dorkydragon5055 only the power of an anti-barcode jesus cult can defeat the exploding naked bullman

[@tobiasvik3278]

Marvel is alread making Rem Lezar female and calling her Rem Lezzer ​@@nothing4mepls973

[@zanpakutoman4225]

I would've argued Mike prefers ded children over characters, but Lyme Disease had that too.

[@novakrabby]

I like how Best of the Worst has been increasing in lenght, eventually it will as long as a dialysis treatment, it´s like poetry, it rhymes

[@adscott27]

they'll soon be able to record them while on dialysis too

[@peteyoung3124]

It's amazing because I love movies but don't wanna watch many lately because they're too long. But 4 middle-aged men ranting about crappy VHS tapes that I should never see for an hour and a half? Absolutely! 😂

[@maximusthundergooch3102]

It's about family, and that's what makes it so powerful. And these are very dynamic characters. We have very few characters these days that are diagnosed with late stage dynamicism in the industry. So this whole thing is very refreshing. And it's all more grounded in reality, which is just the icing on the cake for me.

[@jmjedi923]

Eventually we're gonna get past the 2 hour mark

[@peteyoung3124]

@@jmjedi923 if it's a video that's purely a commentary track for Ryan's Babe, I will gladly welcome it.

[@stevenjackson9028]

Jay was never scouring the woods because he already knows where you can find buff dudes in LA.

[@andrewcz8871]

I understood that reference.

[@BackdoorBarnyard]

I remembered the many overpasses, and I clapped

[@Sunmonks]

You win the callback

[@GoodAvatar-ut5pq]

It's a lil' place called the Manhole. It's the only time Jay has a little Native American in him.

[@DangerB0ne]

​@@andrewcz8871I clapped, I clapped when I read that!

[@johnsanko4136]

Rich casually throwing "Munchausen by Proxy" off the cuff is why he's a comic genius.

[@evilcartman32]

He is so brilliant

[@09daniscool]

Kinda makes sense, the syndrome is named after the 1700s character which a lot of us probably became familiar with through Terry Gilliams, The Adventures of Barron Munchausen.

[@TK199999]

Don't forget they totally missed the whole 'Shots shots, shots shots, yeaha okay.'

[@Preserbius]

I can't believe there's only been 27 Wheel of the Worst episodes. It feels like there've been thousands.

[@FullFlameAlchemist11]

They aren't counting plinketto or black spines or anything. Just the ones where there is literally a wheel

[@pogglywoggly3292]

We only think there's more because we count how many times we've clicked each video. I think I'm on episode; syn_error

[@MrHoppybunny]

I wish there were a thousand :(

[@TrueNubinator]

That’s the count of how many Wheels Rich has built

[@JigglePhysics3000]

​@@FullFlameAlchemist11 but for plinketto they watch *real* movies. If you consider only the shows where they watch garbage tapes like these, you should count just the Wheel and Black Spine episodes. I think it's like three regular Black Spines and four Black Spine Jengas, so it's 34 total, give or take.

[@joshuahebert7972]

The fact that Rich strung together so many words in correct order without messing up is legitimately heartwarming. Don't let Lyme disease stop you, Rich. ❤

[@Apclear]

teleform cord

[@pogglywoggly3292]

Jack: Fun fact. Rich Evans is one of the few diseases, Lyme disease can catch! Mike: No, no. You can't use disease twice... look... just do it like in that episode [Encounter. Encounter at Farscape.] where the benzonite/benzenars or whatever... you know what. I'll just say the line. Move over. Stand-no, stand...

[@antipsychotic451]

AIDs be damned our boy can still speak

[@Stopaskingwhyandjustreadit]

The speech therapy Mike sold his 3rd kidney to pay for is finally paying off

[@UpUpBobby]

Rich's Lyme disease was misdiagnosed as crippling diabetes??? 🤯

[@williamnoonan7380]

Mike talking about finding ticks on his body, all I can picture is him stumbling around drunk and naked in the Wisconsin wilderness. It's like some local legend - "The Milwaukee Mammoth". He offers you a pizza roll and then disappears into the mist.

[@TomGallagherSuperboyBeyond]

If you eat the pizza roll you get lyme disease.

[@RCToTheFuture]

Like the Milverine but more drunk and out of shape

[@Video_Crow]

and covered with so many ticks he looks like a sesame seed bun

[@JRSanchez93]

⁠@@Video_CrowThat’s a very good way to put it. It’s a horrible mental image but it’s a great way to put it.

[@yggdrasil2]

Get Trey the explainer on this, maybe Mike was the inspiration for Bigfoot.

[@Sig509]

Bible Baby is an experienced CIA operative. She comes in when waterboarding does not work.

[@lucario719]

She's why there's no longer a Quran kid...

[@richardmontegue3131]

10 years and Rich’s mic still peaks, best channel on KZbin

[@insouciantFox]

Probably on the lowest possible setting. The laugh transcends all damping.

[@pogglywoggly3292]

Mic who?

[@neliz2k]

When I'm really depressed and can't fall asleep, I put on RLM videos to hear the soothing and comforting sound of Rich's laughter.

[@luiginastro8831]

@@pogglywoggly3292 Mic Stoklas

[@kurtdewittphoto]

No mic can contain Rich.

[@richnothnagel]

Never found porn in the woods. However as a Midwesterner approaching 40, I walked with some friends on the train tracks through the woods. We were all grade schoolers. After the woods we found a junkyard. Among the broken down vehicles was an old yellow school bus filled with cardboard boxes of old nudie magazines. It was Valhalla.

[@jettnorr]

I share Mike's experience exactly, though you're making me wonder if we settled for the decoy... I should have ventured FURTHER... 😢

[@atlasking6110]

It was always bad, waterlogged, hairy, biker mag pics anyway.

[@shanedoe3462]

Can confirm. My father and grandfather both worked as a landfill supervisors. Basically, collecting the money from people dropping off garbage and telling them where to put metal, plastic, etc. The amount of porn magazines that they collected over twenty years was absolutely astonishing. My Dad used a stack of Penthouse as a foot stool in the trailer he worked out of at the landfill. In fact, I myself work in a thrift store and just yesterday, someone donated a DVD player. When I checked to see if it worked, a DVD called "Experienced Asses #2" popped out. Looks like finding porn is in my families blood. If I ever have a son, that's going to be my legacy to him. An ability to stumble upon porn.

[@sethkeown5965]

​@@jettnorralways further

[@aserta]

We found an abandoned washroom full of prawn, but not mags, movies. Reels. At least 30 of them.

[@nickzakari4597]

Rich loudly opening the small doritos bag is unreasonably funny and the fact that it's a quick edit made in passing makes it even funnier

[@_demitri]

"I cant turn my head the wrong way, only I've never been taught the wrong way because the entire nerve plexus is being pressed upon"

[@emilym3679]

I will think about this part for the rest of my life and be endlessly puzzled about what it means. It will drive me insane.

[@ChargerBulldogs19]

@@emilym3679 I think dwelling on particular sentences and general confusion is a symptom of Lyme Disease. Might want to get that checked out

[@jackflash8218]

That was one of the most bat-shit-crazy things I've ever heard! 🤤😯🙂☺😁😆😂😂😂

[@Tine_of_Nice_Dreams]

My good faith read was that she hasn't been taught the right way to turn her head to avoid the neck pain (presumably because doctors have not helped her), everything she has tried is still wrong, and so she's in constant pain. Not as fun and funny an interpretation as "she's crazy! she's faking!" but sometimes life kicks you in the nuts and then you're disabled/in chronic pain

[@emilym3679]

@@Tine_of_Nice_Dreams No I totally get it. That's why it was driving me crazy. I know it made some sort of sense and I couldn't decipher it.

[@ymblester5630]

Fun Fact: There was a PBS show called "Ghostwriter" where a group of kids solve mysteries with the help of a ghost who leaves them cryptic clues. It was, essentially, an ad for composition notebooks.

[@TOGProfessor]

Immediately thought of that as well

[@Shlankyman545]

I’m glad someone made this comment. I only learned about the show from YMS talking about the Gooey Gus quadrilogy that scared him as a kid.

[@MisterDTwenty]

I remember watching that show quite a bit and as soon as they described the premise it jumped into my mind

[@n0isyturtle]

Gooey Gus

[@tartrazine5]

Ghostwriter was the spiritual successor to Read All About It, an educational Canadian show from 1979... which included a sentient typewriter character.

[@trips2848]

Little known fact: one of the main symptoms of Lyme disease is slowly descending staircases while monologuing

[@Avatar_of_Chairness]

All medical journals and papers confirm this to be 100% accurate.

[@superman5150]

"Don't cry for me, I'm already dead."

[@drownthepoor]

I think staircase lady was in a recently watched documentary called The Silent Epidemic about what they now call Chronic Lyme Disease. Most doctors still don't acknowledge it, and it's kind of a touchy subject because traditional Lyme Disease can be cured. However, these people have long-term debilitating non-typical symptoms, and they do have doctors in this documentary who backed them up.

[@radimirAU]

Can’t believe Rudolph Höss was a Lyme disease victim all along

[@pogglywoggly3292]

This little nugget of information sheds new light on movie lore associated with "the Dracula"

[@MeadesMenagerie]

I can confirm that "forest porn" was also a thing here in Sweden. Me, my brother and a few friends found two grocery bags filled with porno mags in the woods when we were kids. The woods used to be such a magical place...

[@korganrocks3995]

Same!

[@timtheskeptic1147]

It seems to be a worldwide right of passage. Except mine was a large box of mags found behind a McDonald's, not a forest.

[@mptesteroni]

Great to see Mr. Evans finally realizing he is the Alpha of this group and seizing control from these other reprobates.

[@1975amclav]

The concept of Bible Baby, Koran Kid, Torah Toddler, and Mormon Minor made me laugh for five minutes straight.

[@Viceroy_Sundercles_III]

They sound like the Teen Titans of the Bible Man cinematic universe.

[@lonnie6954]

The Abrahamic Avengers

[@joinsideke]

There's a cartoon here on KZbin that's exactly that premise, except there's a Hindu girl instead of a Mormon. Which is kinda weird, cos she's the only non-Abrahamic religion. I think it's called God's Warriors? Oh and the bad guys are mad scientists.

[@williamdittmann9281]

That's definitely a way to spell Quran

[@mikeycrackson]

​@@williamdittmann9281 Quran Qid?

[@ellmunzai]

"Drew Barrymore's frumpy sister, Sketch Barrymore" and "Quran Kid and Torah Toddler" just slayed me

[@urdnal]

*Quran Qid

[@agnieszkaadamkiewicz4747]

Drew Barryless

[@Endocrom]

@@agnieszkaadamkiewicz4747 Sketch Seedless

[@fredt1983]

Her dad would have paid 100's of millions (adjusted for inflation) to make her famous also. Considering her family did it for their kids since the 50's. Hollywood nepotism and all that.

[@bewilderbeestie]

Does someone need to send them a copy of _God's Game,_ which is basically 'Quran Kid and Torah Toddler' done for real? Containing the superheroes Chris Cross, Ninjew, Sumuslin and Taekwonhindu?

[@starchildemon1]

Mike: "Like a mini word processor." everyone else: "ohhhhh. " How I imagine man describing fire for others the first time.

[@grandemage]

Rich’s face as Bible Baby destroys what’s left of his brain both emotionally and physically. Just the look on their faces, as state of shock and anguish, priceless… 😂

[@jaythemovieguy7751]

"If we watch the Cory Haim video, we'll probably end up on some list." *watches Bible Baby instead

[@xavierkazoo1619]

You don't get on a list for Bible Baby, God just regrets your existence

[@hansyolo8277]

monkey's paw

[@athomicritics]

i really didnt get that joke , the guy life was pretty tragic from what i read because of what happened when he was a child actor

[@camzoman]

@@athomicritics That video was him at peak teen heartthrob. The joke is that they look like the guys who did those terrible things to him if they're watching him at that age.

[@ScreenTalker]

Are we sure bible baby is a woman? Her voice had A LOT of bass when she was throwing her voice with the puppets

[@alexstacy9847]

"Jack is a low-level sociopath" absolutely slayed me. Rich with an instant classic and it's only halfway through the episode.

[@bytoadynolastname6149]

But we already knew he was a weird clown person.

[@pogglywoggly3292]

I'm not so unsure that isnt (maybe) just a clever way of incorporating liability disclaimers into the sketch. I'm also unmistakably not being cool with double negatives

[@g.sergiusfidenas6650]

That reminds me that Jack appears in one of those old Phantom Menace reviews, there he looks a lot like Terry O'Quinn at the very beginning of The Stepfather, when the guy "ditches" his old family to search another one.

[@acvieluf]

I'm a pastor, and thought i should add some of the super weird irony of Bible Baby's song: She's singing about a verse that is speaking to adults, that they're so immature that the author has to talk to them like babies. Likening simple ideas to "spiritual milk", as opposed to the "solid food" of complex ideas. But that's not for kids, and WHAT ADULT WOULD BE WATCHING BIBLE BABY?!

[@leavingmythoughtsinthecomm7586]

These four apparently

[@TheHauntedFarm]

The weirdest thing about "Bible Baby" is that people think it's appropriate to push religion onto kids.

[@conservativedemocracyenjoyer]

@@TheHauntedFarm just like any morals

[@vanillajack5925]

​@@TheHauntedFarmYou've got to indoctrinate them early, otherwise they'll realize how ridiculous it really is.

[@estott3647]

Nothing says Religion, like a bronze age religion.

[@magnusberge]

"The mother of a lime victim" ... that made me laugh more than it should

[@Poopscipade]

You're going to lime hell, buddy.

[@thegamegrumpsletsplayofmaj5727]

I gotta say, Mike + Rich + Jay + Jack is my favorite round table discussion group, it’s a shame what Jack did 18 years ago in a backyard in Georgia to a family of 6

[@avatarname0008]

It's not his fault he told them he had to return some video tapes and they wouldn't let him

[@buddyisbored2355]

Jack never said he considered them a family due to their "alternate lifestyle" but idk I never understood why he doesnt think people can get married again after a divorce.

[@sparki9085]

​@@buddyisbored2355he learned it from the bible baby

[@crawlingchaos2811]

Learned it growin on the farm

[@AntiVectorTV]

With the possible exception of Mike, Rich, Jay, and Mac.

[@dw4124]

Hearing the glee in Rich's voice at the flapper being broken added 10 years to my life

[@larrylaffer3246]

Of course now he can replace it with a far better one and he can write it off as a business expense. Rich is a smart man after all.

[@arvidbergman]

he had a delighted expression on his face during all of that that I'm pretty sure I've never seen him have before ever on video

[@williamwassmann9349]

Yeah but it took 10 off of his ya jerk. Stop sucking the life out of Internet Celebrity Rich Evans

[@joshuab9226]

Unfortunately, Bible Baby then removed 15 years

[@ohboy9077]

FELIX TIME

[@adrianluce5372]

Jack absolutely made sure he had a quarter in his pocket, just in case he had an opportunity to work in this trick.

[@thomasrovinsky2192]

Woods porn was totally a thing. I live in Sweden and it was very common in the late 1970s and during the 80s. You'd be out walking through the woods with your friends and come across a plastic or paper bag just sitting there by a tree or a rock. Inside it you would invariably find porn magazines. I thought it was a local thing for the longest time but discovered later in life (via various forums on the internet) that it was a universal experience in western countries (in Britain they call it "hedge porn"). For a kid at a certain age it was, as Jack said, "magical." The weirdest thing about the phenomenon is that despite having seen discussions online about it, with dozens of eyewitness testimonies, not one single person has ever admitted being a "porn fairy" and dropping off all that glorious smut in the wild. Their mysterious reasons will seemingly forever be shrouded in the mists of time... On a side note, about ten years ago I was leafing through an old magazine from 1982 at a flea market and -- I swear to God -- there were pine needles between some of the pages. Good times, good times...

[@korganrocks3995]

I grew up in Sweden in the 90s, and I remember finding woods porn too! 😄

[@timtheskeptic1147]

Right? Who were the people dumping stacks of porn everywhere for grateful teens? Umm, after thinking about it, I don't really want to know.

[@VTEKID]

“Shirley, you can’t blame everything on Lyme Disease. I’m calling the cops.”

[@pogglywoggly3292]

I can. And don't call me Shirley.

[@Sarato]

I was laughing so hard at that part I had to pause it for five minutes to calm myself down.

[@delphinazizumbo8674]

"Yes, I can, and don't call me Shirley. At work."

[@unduloid]

@@pogglywoggly3292 I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

[@dondavenport7077]

'I find ticks on me all the time', says Mike after his daily trek into the forest searching for more wood pr0n.

[@bdecampc]

Lyme Disease is real but I think if the average person heard a mother from New Jersey talking about her child’s observably broken arm they would leave wondering if human bones are actually capable of fracturing

[@JaDav40]

The mom saying that the cacophony of a cracker being chewed would kill her son but meanwhile he's a foot away from her shrieking about it at 85 decibels and he's just nodding and doesn't seem distressed at all.

[@InsightfulUndercurrents]

Honestly some of the New Jersey mothers describing their children I was like “yeah that’s Autism”

[@mjfan653]

The broken arm js a symptom of fargone autism! Now prescribe him some speed so I have something to snort on fridays!

[@mariusvandewall2831]

"Sketch Barrymore" - underappreciated joke of the episode.

[@MaskMan191]

Noticed Jack had a La Croix, he's still going on his sobriety. Good for him!

[@Kidd724]

Lyme flavor

[@Hwarming]

He looks a lot healthier and seems happier too

[@Werderanerfechter]

I like that they colour coordinated his drink with their beers

[@OrangeXenon54]

Plus repping Wisconsin pride! It'll always amaze me as a Wisconsinite how La Croix went from being that gross stuff your grandma always had in the basement in the 90's to hipster super drink in the 2010s.

[@williamnoonan7380]

AA is for quitters.

[@kheitain1]

Mike has been unfairly accused of alcoholism for years. It's high time we acknowledge he's suffering from Lyme disease

[@nadja4857]

Why can it not be both?

[@rampagingelephant7353]

Thank you Jay for activating Siri on my phone and asking it to look up porn.

[@SergioLeRoux]

The weird-ass thing about this Panasonic word processor model is that it came about half a decade after personal computers like, say an Atari 800 or Commodore 64. And both of these featured really good word processor software and dot matrix printers able to print continuously...

[@BKRandyful]

I love that you unknowingly described a 90's show literally called "Ghostwriter"

[@andrewdestefano4143]

Right?! I was laughing to myself "that was a show, really!"

[@mollyross888]

ghostwriter! WORD!

[@chiefnewo]

I think I remember that one, they solves mysteries or something? Scrolled down and saw a comment that says this is the case

[@MattrickBT]

Early Edition was better. Kyle Chandler got tomorrow's paper today and then tried to stop some tragedy/disaster from happening. That's real ghostwriting.

[@bondfool]

THABTO

[@Elfenlied8675309]

13:29 Mike "Psychopath" Stoklasa pretends to laugh at joke before immediately deadpanning. Imitating human emotion, truly fascinating.

[@scotteous]

The team only recently installed Mike’s emotion chip, so he’s still getting used to it.

[@peterj4741]

This is insane, people need to click that time-stamp

[@aliciabergman1252]

Oh that's not a laugh. A demon just entered his body but had second thoughts after living as Mike for just a second and left it which left Mike drained of life and gave him brainfog, pretty standar case of lyme disease.

[@ThisUsernameSystemF-ckingSucks]

Lmao, he just turned off

[@jackflash8218]

Mike is an absolute MADMAN!!! Love it!

[@ThatPazuzu]

The Lyme disease thing is sad because a lot of people have some undiagnosed problem and aren't getting treatment. So someone tells them about Lyme, which has very generic symptoms, and convinces them that they have it. So a lot of these people are sick but they've convinced themselves they have Lyme and aren't getting proper help

[@iand4374]

Auto-immune diseases are awful

[@Thundergoom]

Oof yeah Took me over a year to get my lupus diagnosis

[@torstenwehnert8549]

@@Thundergoom I heard somewhere that this should be a doctor's first gues. But seriously, i hope you are better now.

[@XanthinZarda]

Yeah, a lot of these didn't sound like lyme, but behavioural issues, which at the time were _also seriously understudied._

[@mjfan653]

I keep shitting myself every damn night. Also drinking a fifth of vodka for no apparent reason. Also, an eightball of cocaine. All of this is super mysterious for me for years. Also the heroin keeps finding me. It MUST be Lyme disease. I mean, what else? I havent looked around and Im all out of options. Must be Lyme.

[@mikkabouzu]

Like for Jack Packard

[@gumbubble101]

jack politely: shes working on her resume mike slovenly: shes working on his obituary

[@JamesBrown-sn6le]

'Woods Pornograhy', the legend, the myth, the reason all those kids kept getting lost in the woods in the days before the Internet.

[@timcombs2730]

I’ve left porn in the woods. And behind an abandoned Kmart

[@JaDav40]

and getting moon ticks on their privacy...

[@b.l.fisher8230]

I lived in Las Vegas as a kid, so we had no woods. But there was porn in the desert...

[@Shlankyman545]

Same thing as Midwest woods.

[@imacanoli897]

Modern day willowisps

[@dman7668]

This might be the funniest best of the worst since Rem Lezar. I almost cried laughing watching this episode.

[@panicdeluxe1337]

the part where they bleeped the dad from the word processor flick...fing priceless!

[@ethanisfancy]

I like how they now can’t stop referencing Bloodhound Gang, a band that basically no one else thinks about

[@KarmaPolice1997]

I can attest to that by being the fifth and final other person that does

[@gradeahonky]

It's the new Poochie!

[@jackelewish1568]

I literally only know that one song they did and I'm a big music guy.

[@mydogslikeboiledeggs7094]

I keep thinking about them bcuz they do. It hurts.

[@samb_air]

I listened to the Bloodhound Gang on a near daily basis until like 2005

[@MayhemMendes]

I can confirm: random porn magazines in the woods was a thing here in the Netherlands too.

[@warlockofwordschannel7901]

And in Ireland, and parts of the UK.

[@Tom-qp6oh]

Men felt it was a sin to throw it in the trash, they had to Pay It Forward.

[@Prodmullefc]

someone do a documentary about this

[@MayhemMendes]

@@Prodmullefc How Gen X kids all over the world found porn in the woods? Start by interviewing the boomers who left it there

[@bearzerger]

Germany here and same. Woods porn was universal. I suspect pretty much every boy born before the 90s has a woods porn story. In our case we didn't find any magazines, but we did find a couple of VHS which promptly made the rounds through all the boys in class and later in the entire grade.

[@abarainosa]

9:45 I am sitting in the break room at work watching this. This made me physically recoil away from my phone. I immediately felt the need to defend myself

[@yourhighschoolenglishteach8405]

6:07 idk why, but the revelation that the wheel is always lurking on the underside of the plinketto board really got to me

[@AngiDas]

My husband and I laughed so hard about the woods porn because he had the same experience as a teen. Small towns in the 80s/90s grew pornography organically. Kids are missing out with all their gmo porn.

[@phillipfry8141]

"You can't spell "Lyme" disease without "Lie." That was brilliant and stupid at the same time, well done Mike.

[@aarondavis8943]

I'm surprised he missed _Chapaquid-tick._

[@manboy4720]

making bad puns is also a side effect of lymes disease.

[@krismckasson]

​@@aarondavis8943and luner tick.

[@EmbiggenedJ]

I hope the Free Rental keeps showing up on the Wheel, and I kind of hope it never gets picked, ever. The mystery is far better than any possible actuality.

[@D-Corporation]

This is the rlm dream team. We obviously love all our creepy uncles equally but the jack pack and the og three can’t be beat

[@mr_thekid]

Thank goodness. I needed this. Have watched every old episode so many times, and it was a shit day. Perfect timing.

[@sean8102]

I feel ya man. Hope your day tomorrow is better!

[@NeonNijahn]

It's been going on for ten years? God I'm old.

[@roach9397]

I swear sometimes the boys weirdly know when we need them

[@herogear_art]

Hope your day gets better, because I really dig that profile pic! Someone of such taste deserves a good day!

[@crystalpapers6590]

Same here, cheers buddy.

[@pkpckls]

Porn in the woods was a regular thing in the UK as well. A seminal moment in any young man's life

[@katthawthorne1027]

Dunno if the "seminal" pun was intentional or not, but either way, kudos.

[@RegularCupOfJoe]

@@katthawthorne1027 I thought the same thing. I said to myself, "was 'seminal' the right word choice?" Then the voices in my head agreed all at once: "Yes!"

[@zetetick395]

[ Splotch sound effect ]

[@andrewmiller2904]

We called it 'Hedge Porn'

[@lilhanhan]

I usually found it on a dirt path on my walk to highschool; I actually at one point felt sorry for the lads who found and stashed it, as it got destroyed in a puddle due to heavy rain! 😂 I was surprised that I actually encountered it, as by the time I was in highschool mobile phones could now access the internet, so my male friends would begin to spend an eternity desperately trying to send each other files via Bluetooth. 😅

[@kur1su74]

I was sick with a fever and dreamt I went to a theme park with you guys and I had a hell of a time so I wanted to say thank you.

[@resplendentorder8661]

Love Mike's accent when talking about Munchausen by proxy. Really helps with the immersion.

[@hivetyrant7]

I grew up in the Australian outback, even in literal desert there was "woods porn", I love that this is a global phenomena.

[@dembro27]

*Kangaroo hops by with a rolled-up dirty mag in its pouch*

[@daturalacroyemusic]

So glad they're finally taking this seriously with the tone this subject deserves.

[@hippocratesnoah8642]

I for one welcome the shift to this dry documentary style production.

[@zetetick395]

Nothing demands sober gravitas quite like the Bible Baby VHS @_@

[@MightyJak555]

The baby woman sounds like Butters from South Park and even hums the same tune he does occasionally.

[@ianpygott]

Loo loo loo

[@prolevelcallout4597]

Idk what it is but Jack seems a lot happier since he’s been going sober

[@DastardSilvergun]

Less funny though, and he was never great

[@herogear_art]

This “we ran out of bits” bit is my most favorite bit so far

[@dogglesnake]

I like that the Wheel tried to do its own bit

[@UmJammerChelle]

Wait a minute, aren't you one of the Gatoh Move/Chocopro regulars?

[@dogglesnake]

@@UmJammerChelle 🐶👍

[@UmJammerChelle]

@@dogglesnakeCool to see another Gatoh Move fan in the wild!

[@NCRRanger7753]

31:45 That look of disgust on Rich's face and then the toy squeak was great. 🤣🤣

[@MrJacobHart]

You cant hear it, but I am clapping after reading the brilliant description. Absolutely genius. Arguably better than the episode it came from.

[@timothymcqueen3408]

Watching these four grown men laugh hysterically about the death of a child was just what I needed in my day.

[@pogglywoggly3292]

"Alright, well-well, I hope this is a children's suicide video"

[@randomjunkohyeah1]

@@pogglywoggly3292 Rich said something near the beginning in almost the exact same tone and cadence as that

[@saladman420]

I did not think I would ever see a fellow RLM fan who is also a JoJo fan, hello friend

[@timothymcqueen3408]

@@saladman420 Greetings fellow enlightened one. It’s crazy that I found fellow Gurren Lagann fans first.

[@novarat4089]

Jay's transformation into The Dude is almost complete

[@zetetick395]

Well, that's like, just your opinion, man.

[@therealfakecaptain7978]

Fear is like, the mindkiller, man.

[@SeenGod]

all he needs is a robe and sandals 😂

[@OateyMeal]

I find it comforting that there's a guy like Jay out there, taking 'er easy for all of us sinners

[@scarlettjem]

I hate Jay with long hair.

[@Gunbu]

One of my favorite parts of the episode is Rich noisily opening the bag of chips and crunching away on them all while looking over to Mike to see if he'll be called out for making a racket. 41:47

[@zdavisgenki243]

Amazing episode, still making me laugh 9 years later

[@ASaltyGhost]

"I've seen grown men CRACK at Bible Baby." Had me in stitches.

[@davel231]

"Moon Tick" for the band name? Come on, "Lunatick" was right there!

[@d3nza482]

Mr. Lyme and the Luna Ticks

[@PaintraSeaPea]

Maybe they wanted the wordplay to be subtle

[@cinephan]

Jay must have been so innocent and sheltered. I found a whole cardboard box full of porn magazines in the woods.

[@carlsaveus1735]

There was actually a show on PBS in the early 90s called GHOSTWRITER,.. it was about kids being detectives,.. since it involved an actual ghost I can't believe Mike didn't knew about it.. 😂

[@countvontoten3978]

A source from The Pentagon stated "Bible Baby was removed from the SEAL training program as it was thought it was just too harsh on human endurance."

[@ArchibaldClumpy]

Bible Baby was driving too many young recruits to Satan 🤘

[@robertgaudet7407]

‘Many good SEAL candidates were lost.’

[@thecrazycapn]

"That kid didn't even live to see 8." -Mike, cracking up

[@zetetick395]

That kid did look fucked up though...

[@toweypat]

So he doesn't just hate old people!

[@g.sergiusfidenas6650]

That moment has some of that "Eloise Cole is dead" energy.

[@zetetick395]

@@g.sergiusfidenas6650 🤡💀🤡

[@TrashK1ngg]

I really truly love how much fun they seem to have with this channel

[@loldoctor]

I’m not kidding when I say that I threw away a porno magazine in the woods when I was 9 or 10 b/c I was afraid of getting caught with it. It’s not a legend, it’s real. And I grew up only ~15-30 minutes from Mike and Rich… although a decade or so later…

[@voodooblowtorch7265]

10 years later, and this is still my favorite combination of BotW victims. There's just something about Mike, Jay, Jack and Rich Evans together in a room riffing on terrible movies that'll always entertain and delight me.

[@iand4374]

They are the GOAT best of the worst cast for me too

[@StevenRogers-hw9dj]

Jack is as funny as a dead child's toys.

[@calvinthegreat69]

@@StevenRogers-hw9dj do you mean extremely funny or not funny at all? or both? I'm very confused.

[@StevenRogers-hw9dj]

@@calvinthegreat69 The fact that you can find a dead child's toys funny doesn't say anything good about you.

[@calvinthegreat69]

@@StevenRogers-hw9djSorry if my comment annoyed you. Was just trying to be a little cheeky. Hopefully Jack didn't ruin your enjoyment of watching the rest of the guys laughing about Lyme disease and making jokes about a kid dying in the video.

[@kraanz]

So basically, Jack nominated Bible Baby because of how much he hated it. And Mike nominated it because it traumatized him. And thanks to Internet superstar Rich Evans, now I know it is possible to eat crisps SCATHINGLY.

[@SpriderMonk]

Just the perfect length for me to recover from my colon exam! Thanks my geriatric gentlemen!

[@mpalenik]

Wow, The Magic Video? I had that when I was a kid, and I probably haven't seen it in 30 years, but I recognized it right away. It's not great, but at least the 3 tricks I remember impress my 8 year old nephew.

[@Duker_Dude]

Bible Baby looks exactly like something that might be entertaining to a 4 year old that a Sunday School would definitely force 12 year olds to watch.

[@ArchibaldClumpy]

A kid who watched Faces of Death the day before in his friend's basement sitting through Bible Baby

[@noesunyoutuber7680]

​​@@ArchibaldClumpy Dead people? Fact of life, sad but inevitable. A grown woman pretending to be a baby? Perverse, unsettling beyond words. There is no God here.

[@youngnoodle1963]

I love how the RLM crew cant hide their disdain for Religion. They must input their mindless progressive politics when they see fit. Of course if it was about Judaism or the Quaran, they wouldnt say a word. Because Christians are the worst, how dare people care about something more than endless hedonism and material gain. Coming from the same people who make fun of the Funko Pop crowd, theyre so ignorant they cant see the connections, Lol

[@PSpencer]

The hard cut to Jack's horrified face at the start of Bible Baby fucking sent me

[@fauxdude9756]

i was making the exact same face so when it cut to jack it was like looking in a mirror

[@turnerlarson12]

Jack has some of the best reactions

[@tymekbraciszewski447]

It might have not been a woods porn, but we once found empty fleshlight packaging in the woods, and yes - it was magical

[@mithos56]

There's actually a musician named Ren, who had medical issues for YEARS and they finally diagnosed him with Lime Disease. Also I lived in North Florida as a kid, and we had woods porn in the undeveloped lots of our neighborhood.

[@madbeanpedals]

"Best of the Worst is no longer a comedy show." From Rich Evans, the internet's most treasured comedian.

[@brianmcawesome]

He's a little more like a jester, or a sad dancing clown.

[@mmanu6126]

He isnt a comedian, he is the joke

[@pogglywoggly3292]

Rich Evans isn't just the best of the worst. He's also an undefeated star trek trivia champion.

[@brianmcawesome]

@@pogglywoggly3292 Undefeated lifetime champion of the ages Rich Evans. Oh and then theres also idiot fart clown Stoklasa.

[@0Letten0]

-Comedy is gone 3 minutes later -Somehow comedy returned

[@poppers7317]

We found our adult magazines in the paper recycling container when we were kids. I remember regularly climbing into one. I felt like a miner who dug for gold.

[@Hyperion9997]

Millenials and Gen-Zers wouldn't understand that to Gen X, finding the mystical construction site/forest playboy was a huge deal to us.

[@jacobbreitinger6789]

Waiting three hours for a tow truck and this popped up. THANK YOU.

[@goatradish]

Hope your tow gets there soon! Good luck!

[@dominicbadura]

Did you make it?

[@VorpalSnickerSnack]

Hope you didn't get stuck behind the tow truck for 3hrs. Edit: read it wrong, stay safe!

[@ItsMeTheHomestarRunner]

I think Rich may be remembering the Wheel episode where a woman meets a victorian ghost lady that teaches her how to use the computer. There's a demon at the beginning that says "You have pushed the wrong button," if that rings a bell. Just another computer instructional video but with a more explicit ghost character

[@stunner9005]

They’re all the same at the end.

[@itsd0nk]

Just rewatched that one earlier today, oddly enough.

[@AmphibiousGentleman]

For anyone looking for that episode, it's "Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Black Spine Plinketto". Also, the Victorian ghost woman was Ada Lovelace. Lovelace was a friend of and collaborator with Charles Babbage, who invented the first (mechanical) computer. She wrote what is now considered one of the first computer programs.

[@angrysalad]

I asked for a new PC for my senior year of HS (1993/4). I had an old Commodore D. I wanted a new PC so I could use it for various things but I wanted it (and a new printer) to be able to write papers for HS/College. Instead, my mother bought me a Brother Word Processor. I used it in my sr yr of HS. When I got to college, I either used on-campus PCs or my roommate's PC. The word processor DID have a paper tray, no needing to feed one sheet at a time so that was nice, and I could play Tetris on it. What a waste of money.

[@noesunyoutuber7680]

Bible Baby was so creepy that at one point I openly yelled "Goddammit, stop showing me Bible Baby!" when you cut back to it.

[@jgordon3322]

Rich Evans absolutely KILLING it with the one-liners in this one.

[@Trig242]

His "oh God" when eating the chips sent me over the edge

[@L1VE3V1L]

@@Trig24236:17 I also posted about that moment. That got me. It was a real “what the fuck am I doing?” moment.

[@marshallfox6311]

"Bible Baby" seems like the obvious inspiration for "Manger Babies" on "King Of The Hill."

[@chrisc9421]

I can confirm that in the UK, porn in the woods is also a thing. Guess we have Bigfoot over here too.

[@DrTacoPHD665]

The flapper failing on the same episode where they promise no bits is cosmic genius

[@dicknarcowitz]

"cosmic genius" 🤘😂🤘