Best Sci Fi Storytime 1450 - A Routine Weapons Inspection & Demons walk beside them

Original Story :
/ a_routine_weapons_insp...
/ demons_walk_beside_them
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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:23 A Routine Weapons Inspection
07:28 Demons walk beside them
#ScienceFiction #Storytime #SciFi
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Podcast is Called : ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories
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This Story is Classified as HFY or Humanity Feck, Yea , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture. In These stories Humans are often referred to as Human, Humanity, Deathworlder, Hellwolder in reference to the human planet of origin , Earth. This planet is seen by most of the universe as a place where only death and chaos can survive.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
Humans Are Space Orcs (HASO) or Humans Are (Fantasy Race) Are used as a guide when writing.
In these Stories we normally View humans like the other races view orcs in a Fantasy Novel. We (Humans) share the same characteristics and personalities as orcs. Humans are normally treated as the outsiders and barbarians. Humans tend to be underestimated as well in these stories. Unlike Humanity Feck Yea , these don't always put a positive spin on humans\humanity sometimes looking at the darker side of human and humanity from the perspective of aliens.
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Please watch: "Best SciFi Storytime 1492 - An Insignificant Ball Of Dirt & Humans Are Perceptive | HFY |"
• Best SciFi Storytime 1...
~-~~-~~~-~~-~

[@badbloodkiller3471]

Second story; Humans: To you, they are demons of terror. To us, they are angels we don't deserve.

[@dynamicworlds1]

"BE NOT AFRAID!🐶"

[@lawrencem.37]

Exactly.

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

Seriously, dogs are better people than people are. Imagine the hatred we can generate within our souls if the _dogs_ are better people.

[@AugustoEL]

@@dynamicworlds1 I will not, who is the cutest little angel puppy.... (all with the tipical baby voice)

[@Wanderer4Hire]

@@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606 I'm confused on what your saying, are you saying that people will hate dogs if they're better people or people hate themselves because dogs are better people?

[@giancarlobacosa2546]

Story 1: humans can turn anything to dakka Story 2: doggo's

[@tristonshortt5379]

Wwwaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhhh

[@gasmaskman1354]

@@tristonshortt5379 no you wrong at is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGG!!! it has to be in all caps

[@inquisitorbenediktanders3142]

@@gasmaskman1354 You got it wrong too: It is just a singular capital W, multiple capital A's, a singular capital G, and a capital H, finished with at least 3 exclamation marks. Example: WAAAAAAGH!!!

[@sunds4500]

NEVAH ENUFF DAKKA

[@xavierhibbs4850]

Can't wait for the xenos hazards to meet the cats whose naps just got disturbed.

[@TheSimpleMan454]

"How is that not a weapon?" "It wasn't designed as one." Reminds me of Iron Man. "The suit is a weapon." "The suit is an enhanced prosthesis."

[@loganshaw4527]

That was a stabilizer for flight.

[@Tornadopelt]

@@loganshaw4527 *PEEEOOOWW* [Clangclangclang] "...I didn't expect that."

[@loganshaw4527]

@@Tornadopelt ya that moment he found out it could be his main attack.

[@scotthinger6397]

With upgrades.

[@markmulder9845]

Welcome to the first rule of humanity. If it exists, it can be weaponized. Second Rule. If a loop hole exists, it can be exploited, then weaponized.

[@Jaegerrants]

Rule three. Screw the rules it's time for some science. Science naturally means how do I kill that other bastard better than I do now.

[@anonymous______1804]

@@Jaegerrants rule 34...

[@Jaegerrants]

@@anonymous______1804 Yeah and the traitors would jack off to a green humanoid or to a tentacled jelly bean. Rule 35 should those jacking to nonhumans will be shown the airlock.

[@MrGantron414]

Rule three if there are NO loopholes humans will make one just to hear someone go "YOU WHAT!?!" Second story. The bones those dogs are eating are prolly alien bones by now

[@Akorune]

@@anonymous______1804 You called?

[@randolphphillips3104]

Second warning to the aliens: Do not hurt the demons. You do not want to see us if you hurt our doggo.

[@danielstellmon5330]

You NEVER mess with a humans child or dog.

[@lawrencem.37]

@@danielstellmon5330 I'm gonna be honest, I had to read your comment a couple times. Kept reading child dog... all I kept thinking was that means puppy. Then I saw the "or" and felt dumb.

[@danielstellmon5330]

@@lawrencem.37 LOL been there, done that.

[@____________838]

And definitely don’t mess with our child dogs. Or dog childs…

[@lawrencem.37]

@@____________838 your awesome

[@anathardayaldar]

Emperor: "I heard you punched my son." Vizir:"Uh... uhm. Yes your majesty I did. your majesty ." Emperor:"Why?" Vizir:"Well, your majesty , he invaded the humans." Emperor: ... Vizir: "And killed their dogs." Emperor: "oh." *hangs up*

[@gasmaskman1354]

Vizir:"And in particular one that belong to a John wick um your majesty are you there?"

[@noctusdoesthings]

"He was a [Crisis]?" "Not exactly. He was the one you sent to kill the fucking [Crisis]"

[@anathardayaldar]

Emperor: With a pencil! A mother fucking Russian Pencil! Prince: He stabbed a starship with a pencil??? Emperor: No. While using one, the graphite powder got into the electronics and short circuited them during a warp jump. Prince: But then how did he survive? Emperor: -sigh- Plot armor. -shrug- Prince: SMDH

[@ianhogben3472]

@@gasmaskman1354 hello I'm his majestys hand he is currently fleeing for his life can i take a message

[@EvilPaladin11]

Emperor: "I've seen their champion kill two battalions of soldiers, with just a fuckin writing implement! A wood and lead writing implement!"

[@jenswurm]

SIngularity waste heat dispensers. You are strictly advised to stay clear of the exhaust ports. We refuse any liability for damage, injury or glassing that may occur if you violate safety protocols.

[@mazeriayong8311]

IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE TOAST.

[@shinraset]

Xeno: "How the frick are we supposed to avoid getting put in the direction of the ""exhaust port"" since you put it on a swiveling turret that follows our movement?!? That is a plasma turret first and an exhaust Port second!"

[@frealsolidusauxil5873]

@@shinraset sorry sir wehn disposing heat we sometume have to changed direction as to not hit allied troops. Similar to our rocket launchers its simple stuff no difference here. Back blast is a problem so the rotation mount 'ehem' is only for changing exhaust direction similar to fighter plane exhaust 😉

[@matthewbenton4767]

@@frealsolidusauxil5873 if you want another one. "the use of white phosphorous is illegal on enemy troops, we only use it on the building the're in." not even a joke cuz it's true.

[@tailgunner2]

Iraq pulled this stunt by trying to pass off an Artillery cannon capable of shelling Isreal as an "oil pipeline".

[@mukson_pautinka3413]

Story one is basically "They can't accuse us of war crimes if it's not a war but an 'expedited inter-species galactic cleaning operation' " in a nutshell

[@tritojean7549]

or just a special military operation

[@snidecommenter7117]

Like changing the name of a weapon from "white phosphorus" which is banned, to "flaming smoke" which is not.

[@NathanBChampine]

We don't run from our demons. We play go fetch with them.🐶

[@ShiroNekoDen]

Or fuck them(not dogs) and get into complex relationships we're a species who are rather indiscriminate with who we copulate with, though we tend to prefer humanoids.

[@MrGantron414]

YES!!!

[@loganshaw4527]

Who does not love the big red dog named Clifford?

[@DonPatrono]

We don't run from demons, they make us run when it's time for walkies

[@silverbutterfly1739]

The second story was literally this: Aliens: GRAB YO FUCKING DOG MAN humans: they don't bite. Aliens: YES THEY DO

[@SH-qs7ee]

Human: "Don't worry he's just being friendly" Alien: "He tore my arm off!" Human: "Yeah, but it was in a friendly way"

[@mattbrown5511]

Xenos: the new and improved chew toy for Fido. And yes, I have a doggo named Fido.

[@whiterabbit75]

Reminds me of a routine from Bill Engval. "Oh, he don't bite; he's always got blood on his lips."

[@locomastero]

Dogs so big that you can ride them to battle?!?! *I WILL TAKE YOUR ENTIRE STOCK!!!*

[@Macharius89]

do you know about fenrisian wolves?

[@locomastero]

@@Macharius89 Oh I do know about fenrisian wolves, I'm a big fan of 40k lore.

[@Macharius89]

@@locomastero so there´s your answer.

[@Nempo13]

@@Macharius89 No. Look up dogs used to hunt bears. The vaunted Tibetan Mastiff is huge and larger than some bears. Saint Bernards and Newfoundlands are similarly huge and muscled. Irish Wolfhounds and Scottish Deerhounds are huge dogs with thinner coats. They are tall and able to deal with strange landscapes easily. The first 3 look like you could ride them into battle, but they aren't built for it. I love 40k and the Space Wolves but they were aiming for more real world breeds I am sure.

[@Cl0ckcl0ck]

@@Nempo13 Yeah, they clearly haven't been introduced to the molossoid breeds. The old war breeds. If your only objective is to kill the enemy a pack of those ranging ahead will do the trick without needing a gun.

[@scotteggert9820]

Yea it's a 'Heat Waste Disposer' alright. And everyone knows you need to shed excess heat as fast as possible on a ship, so 99% of light speed heat venting is a good thing. 2) K-9's are great, they are loyal companions and very effective guards. BUT, if you hurt any of our doggies you'll find out just how much worse we are then they are.

[@smaragdwolf1]

"we dont build weapons anymore" *human engineer accidentily switches 2 cables on a highly advanced furnace* "ohh... neat. Hey Guys look. I made a Mini Nova :D Would be good for Fireworks"

[@alfredsutton4412]

I love my demon. I wouldn’t think of taking a nap or going to war without her!

[@danielboatright8887]

Story 1: Its mote fun to follow the galaxies laws by bending them to your whim. Story 2: GOOD BOI!

[@dragonson04]

Author here. This is the big number 10! Ten of my stories read by Agro!

[@anathardayaldar]

Congrats

[@maxxammax0]

Keep writing these awesome gems!

[@dragonson04]

@@maxxammax0 Yeah. I'm truly astonished that people actually like my writing enough to read it, and have it enjoy being read to them...Then again, any amateur writer on HFY feels the same.

[@ToggBott]

congrats... now, lets make it 100

[@weirdredpanda]

We need more "demon" stories, please. I did find one thing I didn't agree with. It took the aliens several sun cycles to first see a "demon". With so many people having dogs, why didn't they see one on the very first cycle?

[@heatherweir8726]

Humans are experts at finding loopholes.

[@owenhammond1880]

So what they made was a Yamato Cannon from "Star Blazers"? I was expecting more actual Hellhounds and dog-like demons than just regular dogs honestly. Imagine Cerberus coming out of nowhere and just going to town on an alien combat group? Now that would be something to watch.

[@death13a]

Doggos with 3 snoots and 6 ears to rub and cuddle. I need 3!

[@arakheno4051]

Just remember, Hades, God of death and Lord of the underworld had a 3 head dog he named Cerberus, Cerberus in Greek means Spots, so ya.. the Lord of Death named his pupper Spot x3 :)

[@ShiroNekoDen]

@@arakheno4051 not much weirder than Loki turning into a mare and getting fucked by a stallion, getting pregnant by that horse then giving birth to sleipnir which in ancient Icelandic/Nordic means slippy.

[@masterpython]

@@death13a They made some 2 headed dogs. If someone really wanted to they could probably make them viable animals.

[@anathardayaldar]

Well by then, humans could have enhanced their dogs even more.

[@PerTrygveMyhrer]

It would be interesting to see those aliens land on a nature preserve and discover wild demons. The first one reminds me on Kzin attacking unarmed human ships with fusion torch drive

[@OriginalUnjustifier]

Reminds me of an old story where aliens invade starting in Africa and get completely obliterated by hippopotamus'.

[@anathardayaldar]

As Kzinti are catlike, it makes sense their weakness are canines.

[@AugustoEL]

@@OriginalUnjustifier they also landed in a lot of other places right?

[@RaderizDorret]

First story reminds me exactly of the glorious ship "Lying Bastard" from Ringworld.

[@johncochran8497]

Indeed. In fact, all weapons we've made or discovered are simply devices to concentrate and direct energy. The greater the energy concentration, the greater the potential damage. This includes even extremely simple things like rocks and knives.

[@dantreadwell7421]

They should be grateful that we never worked with cats the same way we did with wolves.

[@thatonigod]

You know we technically never domesticated cats…they just started hanging around

[@randolphphillips3104]

@@thatonigod They domesticated US. Dogs have masters, Cats have staff.

[@dantreadwell7421]

@@thatonigod We did not actively do so with cats the way we did with wolves, but in many ways they followed the same general processes. I think the single biggest factor is that wolves are more communal and group focused than the cats that evolved into what we know now were. Both animals saw humans as part of their family group, but I think the cats did, and still do, have more of an individual mentality in some ways, than wolves/dogs now, have. Most canids hunt in groups, whereas most felines do not. Even groups of feral cats go out to hunt solo, bringing kills back to those who can't hunt on thier own yet. Main point above, I guess, was that while dogs will hunt you in groups, cats will jack you up without you ever knowing they were there.

[@truekurayami]

@@dantreadwell7421 Lions, and debatably Hyenas are the only cats knows to regularly hunt in groups

[@greygalaxy8638]

Cats are dangerous even to Humans.

[@nekoman8560]

A singularity heat sink that ejects the heat at 99% the speed of light… So it’s a quasar gun

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Nah, it's just a neat looking exhaust port.

[@Deconstruction_Administrator]

WE NEED A PLAYLIST OF HFY DOGGO STORIES!!!!!!!

[@masterpython]

If the story playlists were centrally placed that would be good too

[@alexitrinune1460]

WARNING: EXHAUST PORT May or may not release heat at what ever its pointing at

[@anathardayaldar]

Isaac Arthur of the SFIA yt channel often says any practical interstellar drive can double as a death ray if you point it in front of you.

[@reikolupus136]

How exaggerated. It's not like our dogs are worse than their ancestors, right? - Says while her favorite breed of dog is the Borzoi, also known as "Russian Wolfhound", a breed used to hunt wolves -

[@HubiKoshi]

Humans be like "We'll take wolves... and we'll make them into SUPER Wolves!"

[@reikolupus136]

@@HubiKoshi And then people say that we only make them weaker and incapable of surviving on their own XD. If we got something, we improve it, even if it means turning a predator that would kill us if given teh chance, into a monster capable of tearing us apart with extreme ease XD.

[@reikolupus136]

@@ejedwards1678 Of course, there are SOME breeds of dogs that became weaker. But we also use Dogs to take down criminals and wild animals. So we MAY have gone a LITTLE bit too far in trying to make them even stronger than they were before. Just a little XD.

[@Deadxman616]

Australian Shepard: Oh boy I get to heard these green things! aliens: ...those eyes....those Icey blue eyes.... it pinned us in a corner....and just keep attacking our heels....all while doing some kind of dance from it hind quarters....

[@thorshammer8033]

A story of humans actually using the dark arts on aliens would be highly amusing

[@peterwall8191]

7:27 AH! The old Kzin lesson! For those who don't get the reference...go read Larry Niven. You 're not up in the classics you 'll miss half the jokes. Demons ? You lizards think our pets are demons? DUUDE! How long have you lot been on earth? You want to met a demon..You lot ever heard of a leopard? Now that is as close as you get to an actual demon. The "smallest" of the big cats, ambush predators, incredibly good at avoiding detection, and the likeliest to turn the tables on any hunter. You think you're hunting one. In reality it is hunting You. Smell to put a tracking dog to shame, ears that can hear your blood flow at close proximity, eyes that see in virtual darkness, and claws and teeth to give you nightmares. Unlike the dogs, they are not tame. We never managed to tame them as a species.

[@kerwinbrown4180]

We haven't tamed domestic cats either. They just like to live off us.

[@mlogan2k2]

Not for lack of trying, either.

[@ShiroNekoDen]

I mean there are some crazy people on KZbin who own big cats. Luna the pantera for example of course the owner is a friggen russian woman.

[@mlogan2k2]

@@ShiroNekoDen Owning isn't the same thing as domesticating. If the 'owners' have any sense whatsoever, they treat those big cats with a hell of a lot of respect and a healthy dose of fear. Even trained big cats can and will turn on their owners.

[@Chokah]

@@ShiroNekoDen Don't forget Messi the Puma.

[@Inufan2005]

Touch our demons and you'll find out how much of one we become.

[@KroMagnum4]

Do you know Scruffy? Because Scruffy knows you.

[@Deconstruction_Administrator]

He might be old, blind, deaf and lost most of his hair, but his nose knows, and now, so do I.

[@calebblevins6415]

If we can pet it, we will tame it. Lol

[@kerwinbrown4180]

Just wait until cats chose to get involved.😸

[@randomguy3080]

I imagine for the second story, imagine hearing in the communication unit “FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!”

[@insanecrazyman7637]

gotta love the human ability to find a loophole to exploit lmfao xD

[@edelta88]

Everyone fears the humans, that's just common sense... but it is a much wiser being that fears their friends.

[@OGSontar]

First story: Yeah, that sounds about right. Second story: Aw, what a good boy! Who's a widdle alien killer? You's a widdle alien killer! Here, good boy, have a...well, I think it's a bone...CHOMP! Yup, sounds like a bone.

[@yomogami4561]

'puppies!' 'those are hell hounds" 'but they're hell hound puppies!'

[@Swaiznhe]

So when we started losing the war, we unanimously decided to deploy "tactical chiguaguas", capables of scouting and finding the target? Nice XD

[@carlfromtheoc1788]

First one - I hope the xenos never, ever taunt or make fun of a Happy Fun Ball......... Second one - I can see the xenos wondering why the humans name their "demons" and why any demon would allow itself to be called "Mr. Fluffers" or why some humans ask their demon if the demon wants a Scooby Snack. The xenos can be found curled up in a fetal position wondering why a demon is trying to lick the xeno's face.

[@johncochran8497]

As regards licking xeno's face... It's obviously trying to determine how the xeno tastes prior to eating the xeno.

[@FedralBI]

Who's a good demon! Who's a good demon! Yes, you are... yes you are.

[@Odd_Interaction]

Reminds me of the very first time I had to do a “Health & Wellness inspection”. I’m not sure what disturbed me more, finding 100 pounds of C4 or the knowledge that the soldier in question didn’t bat an eye when it was confiscated. Grenades, cheese charges more ammunition than was kept in the company’s armory. Those things I could understand, but some items were mind boggling to a 19 year old from a small home town. I realized later that Inight that I was well within the blast radius and just rolled over and went back to sleep. A fitful sleep as sometimes you just can not unsee or forget.

[@MercenaryX21]

Our Demons are good bois and girls. The sweetest of them all. Espically if they cuddle on you no matter what.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Its Not a Nuke its a fission Heat Generator 🤣

[@boingboingresearcherph.d.2871]

"An object cannot be classified as a weapon unless it is designed specifically and with the intent to harm." So as you can see officer, no. I did not kill that man. He was just dumb enought to stand in the way of the exhaust port of my wast disposal black hole... That I may, or may not have pointed in his general direction...

[@TheVergile]

„You have to remove those….heat dispensers from your ship“ „Cant. We will overheat. Necessary safety feature. Our hands are tied“ „What the hell do you need so much energy production for anyways?“ „To run our heat dispensers of course.“

[@thomashunter7190]

Just wanted to say that when you read out "who's a good boy?" My 95lbs Pitbull reacted as if you we talking to him.

[@lawrencem.37]

My profile pic is perfect for the second story. That's Ares peeking around the corner. Great narration as always.

[@calvingreene90]

That is one hell of a radiator.

[@Chokah]

It's an exhaust pipe XD

[@calvingreene90]

@@Chokah It's getting rid of waste heat; it's a radiator.

[@Chokah]

@@calvingreene90 It's expelling waste heat, It's exhaust. =P

[@calvingreene90]

@@Chokah The exhaust expelled waste gas expelling heat is the job of a radiator.

[@matthewklestinski7030]

Ah, a story from the week dog ownership became mandatory among the survivors.

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@okleno1368]

It’s just a big microwave for heating up big burgers in space.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

1st story; sure. Gau 8 avenger is just accelerant device the push projectiles to accelerate a car. We just happen to put it on A10. 2nd story; good dogo. Wait till Wojtek join the fray.

[@alganhar1]

Give me anything BUT an A10 for my air support thanks. You know A10's have more blue on blue incidents than any other aircraft in US inventory? That thing has killed more US and Allied ground pounders than any other American Aircraft. I'll be ecstatic with AH-64's, happy with F-16's or F-35's, but I would almost rather go without the Air support if its fucking A10's. Especially early days when they had no recognition software, no way to scan for targets and no WSO so the pilot had to scan the ground literally with BINOCULARS to find their targets.... Which helps explain why they killed so many Allies and US troops.... My father especially hates the fucking things as he was on the receiving end of an A10 blue on blue, lost three friends that day.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

@@alganhar1 yeah, it gonna be sux when the other side got air defense network. Its gonna be shot down by missiles. Still, its a plane built for the gun.

[@scififlippa4629]

Can't wait till we find alien doggo's.

[@lawrencem.37]

If we do and they look like dragons then that's two in one. I just pictured the Neverending Story dragon Falkor.

[@involuntaryanalysis]

No, hurt the dogs, THEN we'll show you demons.

[@emilschw8924]

"Who's a good boy?" 😂

[@futuresonex]

Excuse me, I need to go pet my demon now. I only recently found this channel, but I'm liking it a lot!

[@NerdyWordyMatt]

Wow, this species is advanced. They can stretch, wash, clean, and dress while they are getting out of bed. Talk about multi-tasking.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

[@pricklycactus2552]

they hurt are demons we go john wick on the galaxy

[@ZzCanonBull]

The galactic council permanently places a weapons inspector on the Terran homework. This is a first time in galactic history this has ever been done. It streamlined the burocracy many times over.... Terran Engineer: How about we... Weapons Inspector: No. TE: OK. What about... WI: No. TE: Sure, sure. I can understand that, but if we... WI: No. TE: Hmm. I'm sure if we... WI: No. TE: Are you sure about... WI: Yes. TE: You sure do know how to ruin a good time. You must be GREAT fun at parties.

[@mattbrown5511]

I have a sight hound (German Shepard: 110 pounds of him) and a smell hound (Bassett Hound: merely 55 pounds). Together, those 2 pups have chased down all manner of prey for me.

[@dragongreek9059]

My cat was dangerous to a German shepherd and a boxer she attacked both unfortunately she passed away last month also she was very smart she learned how to open a sliding door

[@user-zv6th8fh8v]

Exaust port... Are they making yet another Death Star?

[@Ryu_D]

Thank you for the video. It's just a heat vent. I don't know why he's so upset. XD

[@3v1lp1ngv1n]

near incredible sense of smell, what a high praise :^)

[@thunderbird4636]

yes, fear our demons

[@10Tabris01]

That poor weapons inspector 😂

[@erubianwarlord8208]

yep nothing to do on the ship he must be so bored around humans ^^

[@beingsneaky]

Oh come on. Every thing to a human is a weapon just leave at that and get on with your day.

[@Otgel]

Yeah, if u take anything, and turn it to 11, it can kill. Have you ever broken the geneva convention with a sink faucet.

[@EvilPaladin11]

John Wick has killed 3-4 people with a pencil, and one guy with a book.

[@Otgel]

@@EvilPaladin11 Kill em with knowledge

[@simbry49]

Demon goes woof!

[@tabitharatchford7404]

I have 3 demons and I’m temporarily taking care of a 4th. Sugar, my 4 year old border collie/ Bernese mountain dog mix Alexander, my 10 week old standard poodle Isabella, my 8 week old Bernedoodle Elspeth, Alexander’s sister from the same litter who I’m giving to my aunt as a late Easter gift

[@SupCom78]

Whos a good boy ;) Best friends of of mankind.

[@harsteu]

Second story, At least we didn't tell them to fetch

[@merlinathrawes746]

You know inspector, the exhaust from any vessel is dangerous. Yep, Shepherds and Bloodhounds are good, but why leave out the Dobermans, Mastiffs, Pitbulls, Rottweilers and for cold weather fun, Huskys and Malamutes? And there are so many other good boys and girls.

[@csi1392]

I CAN IMAGINE THE INSPECTOR SAYING WE ARE CONFISCATING YOUR HEAT DISPOSERS AND THE HUMAN SAYING YOU ARE WELCOME TO TRY

[@bfwilley1]

Who's a good boy? YOU ARE!!!!

[@truenatural20]

That’s not exhaust that’s the propulsion itself

[@seanrobert9661]

[documented contact]

[@wyrmhand]

Leroy now works as a test technician 🤣

[@JimmyJoeBob]

Second guys were lucky that they only got dogs. Could've been up against geese.

[@partyrock4144]

It’s technically not a gun But could you use it like a gun? Oh yeah I suppose you could but I don’t see why Because that’s a gun

[@SergeyWaytov]

#2 is really interesting and unique idea

[@gkagara]

So heat dispenser is some sort of plasma spinal weapon.

[@garysmith3037]

Wait until thy discover our demon lords.....cats.

[@ettibbet5493]

You mean ferrets

[@simonmarshall1060]

What about geese?

[@frozenquasar1309]

Me to an alien:So there's this one *Good boy* who guards hell and has 3 heads The Alien POW having flashbacks of a 1 headed dog: *HREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH*

[@Wolfrover]

"Demons Walk Beside Them": Heh. You want to know the funny part? If you could ask them why they do what they do... why they serve and protect and kill... they would answer "Because we love them, and they need our help". Because the "demons" consider us their beloved children.

[@davidvanhorn3340]

Singularity waste heat disposer, hmm? Wave Motion Gun, methinks

[@SergeyWaytov]

#1 just just Something!)))

[@sgtwhisker26]

So what’s what kind of demons do you guys have? I have a 13-year-old Australian Shepherd named Rita and a five-year-old Australian cattle dog mixed named Sage.

[@skyrere]

Here goes. I have 7 demons. -Samson: Boxer -Lamb: Sam's best friend, and a Beagle. -Ruth: satanic bitch likely a rat terrier shepherd mix. -Ezekial, or Zeke for short. Looks like a cross between a Korgie and a Blue Tic hound... Coloration and fur length favors the blue tic hound. but he's very short. -Cooper: our son's Ausie/german shepherd mix. Good boi, but bonded to ONE human. and it isn't our son. LOL -Goliath: Our newest rescue. Looks like a Golden lab. Bigger than our old Boxer, still getting bigger. The man who was going to have this wandering soul put down before my husband stepped in and said we would take him told us that his genetics include Bull Mastiff, Great Pyrenees, St. Bernard, and Golden Lab. WE love our family Demons. :D We also have several more Demons living among us. Two Cockatiels, three cats, two goats, and a small horse. ALL OF THEM RESCUES. Aren't they so wonderful to rescue us so?

[@joemomma2189]

Hunter- Husky Mix. Rocco- Bullmastiff Mix Ivy and Ruby- Pureblood Pitbull's Those are only the current generation of demons- we love their wittle noses :3

[@jeremybumgarner1908]

Two. 8 and 9 year old brothers, Nub and Hobo. Nub is the Jack Terrier, Hobo is a mixed weener dog. Yes, my spelling sucks... but they are my spoiled demons who love their bones.

[@techno3900]

I have two demons, Oreo and Twinkie, both chihuahuas, and rescues One is lazy af and the other acts like a child on a sugar high

[@hobbes4011]

Dozer- Husky mix. almost 6 years old and approx 70lbs of lapdog. Wouldn't change a thing.

[@sirjmo]

Who's a good heat disposer? ;P

[@cha0sr1pper]

story one: It's not a War Crime, the first time.

[@BrandonKing.]

can confirm! my demon does like to chew on facsimiles of human bones. he also likes to chew on my hand... he is already fully grown...it hurts

[@fluttershyisnotadoormat4678]

Have they ever heard about cats? :3

[@kaerouse48]

Give a Human a piece of candy and they'll turn it into a Doomsday Device that can wipe out a galaxy.

[@Kakarot64.]

Its called diabetes and upon first contact will be exported to weaken the xeno's.

[@trathis1482]

Next story is what happens when you fuck with the demons

[@trevtall1094]

Dogs are industrious killers, watch a ratting video. But we love them dearly

[@kevincaruthers5412]

Oh Lord, please make me the man my dog thinks I am.

[@Kualinar]

I have a problem with a space elevator at Cape Canaveral... Space elevators MUST be ON the equator, at latitude 0°. Cape Canaveral IS NOT on the equator. That «heat disposer» is absolutely a weapon under a different name. That, WHO use a military cruiser as a target to «test» a «heat disposer» anyway ? Story 2. What are you calling demons ? Those are no demons. Those are our best friends. Meet Fido, he's so adorable, so friendly to my child and baby. He won't hurt a fly. Why are you screaming in terror ?

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Sorry I've fallen behind, trying to catch up now. Story 1: HAHAHAHAHAHA Story 2: Man's best friend!

[@Keiranful]

Well that waste heat port would have been useful on the death star. Way better then the faulty design they went with. I mean seriously, not even a single maze trap to prevent incoming projectiles from reaching the core?

[@MiishaKorvian]

if you watched Rogue One you'd realize it was an inside job by the reactor's designer

[@jordanbryan2612]

the second one wasn't what I was looking for but it hit the right spot. anyone know the name of the story where the xeno's get ripped apart by a 1000 year wendigo for threatening a small human girl and we find out all the monsters of the night are real and on our side?

[@genericuser984]

neat