how i learned to love being single (+ why you should too)

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In this sleep deprived girl talk, I talk about how I learned to be happily single and dissect all of the societal + internal pressures I felt to be in a relationship. I originally filmed this the day before Valentines Day for my fellow single ladies so sorry it’s a bit late!
✰ CHAPTERS ✰
1:38 a note about double standards
2:38 my history + mindset shift through high school, college, and now
5:22 ~let’s dissect my internalized misogyny~ aka analyze the pressure to be in a relationship
5:30 problematic ideals in rom coms
7:26 validation from male attention
11:10 fear of aging
14:48 vicarious success
17:49 slut shaming / stigma around causal sex
20:01 tips for being happy single
✰ OUTFIT ✰
dress: thrifted (similar: bit.ly/2Y9p5hV, bit.ly/3cLCBMJ)
safety pin earrings: i designed them! (enroutejewelry...)
♫ MUSIC ♫
rainy sunday from epidemic sound ➭ bit.ly/2VW00n4
partly sunny by joey pecoraro
special thanks to joey pecoraro for allowing me to use his music! check him out on
youtube: / @joeypecoraro
instagram: / joeypecoraro
soundcloud: / joeypecoraro
spotify: open.spotify.c...
F A Q
what’s your name? ashley
what’s your instagram? @best.dressed
how old are you? 21 (born in 1998)
how tall are you? 5'5"
what’s your ethnicity? half british and half burmese
what equipment do you use to film?
➭ main camera: panasonic lumix gh5s (amzn.to/2Nb0W1z)
➭ 12-35mm lens (amzn.to/2JiSrz7)
➭ mic: rode videomic pro+ (amzn.to/2QHfZBU)
➭ vlog camera: canon powershot g7x mark ii (amzn.to/2DfL4cZ)
➭ canon m50 (amzn.to/2Dp1bnk)
➭ editing: final cut pro
FTC: Not sponsored. Some of the above links are affiliate links, meaning I earn a small percentage of sales made via those links, but it doesn’t cost you anything extra!

[@misslyntheena]

„Being single doesn’t mean that you are alone!“ LOUDER FOR MY MUM IN THE BACK

[@wendiigaxii]

LOUDER FOR THE RELATIVES THAT ASK IF YOU'RE STILL SINGLE EVERY FAMILY EVENT

[@misslyntheena]

wendiigaxii hell yeah

[@emnakhemiri]

r u german

[@misslyntheena]

emna. How do you know 😨

[@emnakhemiri]

@@misslyntheena the punctuation lol

[@dr.drishti]

"My life is not a rom com, it's a comedy sitcom with 10 seasons and I'm on season 2." New life motto tbh

[@Spanish101class]

This is what I feel too

[@cactikaty]

I want to be on season 2 forever :)

[@elizabethdiannestravinsky6946]

Feels like season 3 and might be taken off the station prematurely AHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

[@ariatilah8341]

Literally wrote it down as a quote in my journal

[@Niko-qc8uw]

I’m like getting to the end of season one, I feel like season two starts when you go off to university lmao

[@_kyramisu_]

I think the hardest time to be single is after you felt what its like to actually be in love. The shift back to going about your day to day without being in love in hard. Its like "wait no i just discovered this wonderful life changing thing and now i have to go back to not having it?!?!" First real heartbreak is the worst but the most character changing

[@rosachristine3048]

Oof facts 👏

[@afnanyahya8077]

Wow you literally spoke the truth. It is insane how much a person's character can grow from experiences like falling in love and heartbreak :(

[@priyanshitewari5006]

So true

[@got7slyrics127]

yup, i’ve never feel in love but i had a boyfriend and i felt uncomfortable, so i broke up and after that i always feel like i’m in the wrong and i need to go back to him and it felt like i miss him even though i never really enjoyed our time together.

[@woman7243]

Yes, I say this all the time. I ABSOLUTELY agree. But it wears off and now I feel whole with just me. Although I am okay with being single (and I choose it, really) the door to "love" is cracked now because I had a glimpse of what it felt like. I will be honest, I don't really like the feeling of wanting to be in a relationship again, but if I am in one, I'd like for it to be better than the last 🥰

[@bloomingday4231]

17:00 "don't settle into the mindset of being the sidekick or the love interest. you're still the protagonist of your own life." YESSSS ASHLEY!!! THANK U FOR SAYING THIS... i really needed to hear this

[@hiekfbisnl2772]

My favourite quote of all time: *"Falling in love with yourself first doesn't make you selfish, it makes you indestructible."*

[@brinleyburlison460]

I love that so much

[@hannahlynn2495]

I did a little "aaah thats so cool" when i read that this is so true

[@TheAbele992]

Ok coomer

[@Amy-np4rz]

This really got to me because for the longest time I've felt as if the only thing that I should be doing is putting other people in front, and if I did something that benefitted me it would be considered 'selfish' or 'stuck-up' when really, being happy for yourself and loving yourself is one of the most important things in one's life, if not the most important thing. Thank you for this. It also appears that I've got myself a new lockscreen so woot woot.

[@lyra_v]

"this scene is so sexist my boobs retracted into my body" i _felt_ that...like jesus christ hollywood

[@KitCat898]

lyra vincent What part?

[@tanzeelala]

KitCat898 6:17

[@MariaKarita]

And also to know Megan Fox felt so uncomfortable during both movies and basically forced into filming this as a young actress makes me uncomfortable to watch these movies these days.

[@roxypicasso66]

OMG RIGHT?? EVEN AS A KID WHEN THIS CAME OUT MY ONLY REACTION WAS “eww”

[@lyra_v]

@@MariaKarita wow i didnt know that and even then it just makes me ew...but thats awful!

[@kategmil]

I'm 30 and still young! Broke up with my long term partner last year and now doing the masters of my dreams. Living with my best friend, studying and making music :) I finally have the time and confidence to be the person I always wanted to be. Of course I get lonely sometimes but I don't miss other people as much as I used to miss myself! ❤

[@Janelou42]

Oh... that last line just hit me. Well said there! Im happy to hear you found your path. Sometimes I feel like, when I look at long term partners if they can identify themselves as 'standalone'. Can I still identify myself as standalone? Right now I am being me.. but I also .. miss myself? I guess maybe that is just past 'me', where I had less responsibility.

[@heyheyvicky1498]

27yo here, 10 months til divorced: Use ur 20ies as Ahley said: have fun out there, make experiences, build your character and your career. There is no warranty the person you have is going to stay. I was in a relationship since I was 20, married and now he's gone, I wasted so much time and didn't do anything for myself, relied on him to make me happy and wasn't happy with myself. The only person you will have your entire life is YOU, so marry that person, love her and cherish her!!!! And don't let society pressure you to do anything!

[@soniyatomar7894]

Hope you're happy

[@priya9722]

Just broke with my boyfriend. @heyhey Vicky You made my day. You have the exact concept i have about relationship. I mean, nothing is guaranteed in this world so why to cry over broken relationship. There is an entire world to explore and the life span you have, would'nt be enough to do so. So I choose, MYSELF over a Guy. I am the only person who's never gonna hurt Me and also ,who's always gonna be my side in every Ups and Downs of Life. So, Be you and love yourself more than you have loved the person with whom u were in a relationship.

[@saradorame4073]

“Every time that I was single, I was just thinking of it as like a little gap before my next relationship.” This hit me HARD and made me realize I really am uncomfortable with being single.. but I am on a journey of self love and being comfortable with being on my own :)

[@leadupont8588]

I feel like Ashley and Lizzo are my spiritual guides on the journey to self-love ❤

[@i.i.9274]

We support you!!!

[@JustineMfulama]

Wow, that is so powerful. I'm reading the power of now at the moment and it's such a great book that teaches you to embrace and enjoy the presence rather than living for the future.

[@liaf3iry]

Ashley saying “Hunt down a man” just had me imagining a cartoon Ashley hiding in the bushes with a oversized butterfly net trying to entrap a man

[@horae2583]

real animal crossing vibes

[@emma-hp3vs]

am i allowed to draw this in the future?

[@kggroom]

Omg😂😂

[@alexandramesakkat6110]

That is just so- cute :’)

[@riamayfilm]

emma guillot draw it!

[@Babyteef]

I’m a male and at first when i watched this i was like “wait i’m a guy this is more for women” but even then i agreed with alot of what you said and as someone struggling with simular issues this was really nice to hear!

[@FollowingTheRain]

This is so relatable. Only recently did I finally learn the lesson that male attention is 1) cheap 2) abundant and 3)unrewarding.

[@courtneyfaithmis]

Yes me!! I used to get so flattered..... now I’m SO unimpressed.

[@maherlynmorency2012]

So important to learn

[@hicrhodushicsalta4382]

pls tell me how u learned that. Im still craving those stares and flattery :(

[@lordcatmariel3376]

“We are told that male attention is a limited commodity and that we have to hunt it down in order to feel valuable” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤍

[@katherinefoote4448]

MC Lord honestly preach

[@liz01castm31]

Yes that's crazy

[@ledsham9257]

Same for males to be honest , but no hate I’m not arguing against you 💕

[@julezburn1024]

@@ledsham9257 yeah, that feeling sucks no matter what your gender or your interest's gender is.

[@rekamaria5464]

@Thomas McGill honestly, just same i just commented about this. Why would we blame any society for this bs, it's blantatly just being a species on this earth, surviving like all the other animals, exept we kinda regularly *think* things through (or not, to each their own). It ain't that deep

[@shelbylawton8760]

“I feel like a different person every single year” ME

[@victoriapetrizzo671]

Shelby Lawton I could actually relate to this so much within the past 3 years. I always kept thinking this in the back of my head. It’s so weird

[@calyyygrazie8]

Me every week

[@manillargo]

yeah i feel like a different person each day and week. i love mood swings changing my entire life.

[@stutid582]

You know, every year 98% of our atoms change into new ones, soooo technically, u truly are a completely new person every year :) ;)

[@glossygorl5737]

fuckkk honestjy

[@Key_tiii]

“Every single year, I feel like a different person” I KNOOOWWWWWW ME TOOOOO

[@jamien.5528]

Glad I’m not the only one :)

[@sharonreneebrownmydiaries9943]

I am 54 years young, single, from Southern Maryland and I really appreciate your honesty in this video. This video is hitting on some points for my life as well. Thank you. I think I'm gonna watch it twice.

[@isabelh6639]

sharon brown I just came across this and I just wanna say I hope you’re having a good day. Idk, you just seem like a good person. I just feel it but that’s it. Goodbye!

[@clarytaylor8582]

love from another southern marylander :)

[@maggiedivine4856]

At 51 ( divorced, 2 adults, great job, in shape, good looking). Time to enjoy life. I have occasional sex, I travel, I spoiled myself… No headache ♥️

[@sidesaddleintobattle4984]

@@maggiedivine4856 glad your happy I'd date you if I was 70

[@SeanMacadelic]

SoMD represent

[@skylar8685]

"youth culture is feeling like someone is going to literally kill you if you're not successful by 25" - Jaboukie Young White

[@amarcelagutierrez]

preach

[@ashleym119]

imagine ashley starting her own podcast.. honestly she’s my favorite person to watch because in all her videos she’s seen as a real person (obviously everyone is a real person) but i feel like you can connect on a personal level to what she’s saying... the comment section is always positive and it’s created a sense of community, where everyone can share their experiences... edit: omg wow thank u for the likes

[@jessicachristina9978]

same i would love to have Ashley start a Podcast 🤗

[@tranngoc2494]

I couldn't agree with you more! ashley's kinda feel like the best bestfriend i could ever have. even tho i haven't met her in real life lol. like, she can make women feel good about themselves so much and i love that haha

[@kaitlynnmccomiskey4533]

She should keep doing it on KZbin though for those KZbin $$ podcasts make less

[@seventeenolives6682]

Kaitlynn McComiskey She could always post it on both!! personally i love podcasts so much, + itd be nice to be able to choose

[@galihazan8167]

Ashley Davids BET. PETITION FOR AN ASHLEY PODCAST

[@sadie5419]

Honestly, one of my favorite things about Ashley is that she notices how so many people are now thinking that to be a strong woman is to be like a man, or basically taking on both "traditional" roles of a male and female. But i think each gender has uniqueness to them, so a girl can be girly, and not really rely on a guy too. She's just satisfied with herself, and that's great.

[@olena_503]

I am still very young, but the sex culture in our society really scares me. I feel like i will be pressured to have sex immidiately after stepping into a relationship, when i actually like the "no sex before love" principle. it basically means that you and your partner develop a spiritual and emotional connection before developing a physical one. I am not even close to dating yet, but i think about this a lot and it makes me so confused and worried and stressed...

[@Ana-sj5xx]

I'm the same as you, and let me tell you, it will work out just fine. I made this very clear to my boyfriend when we started dating (I was 17), and he waited for months before we had sex and was completely chill about it. If you ever feel pressured with a guy, just leave. There are better ones out there, and you'll find them. Don't compromise on that, it's not worth it.

[@olena_503]

@@Ana-sj5xx thanks, i really needed to hear this!:)

[@olena_503]

@Queen queen I know that it may sound similar to that, but I am not demisexual. It's not that I can't feel sexual attraction to someone before connecting to them emotionally, I just don't think it's right and good for the relationship to have set too early

[@kevincorncone]

Feel ya! I feel pressured to have sex by the “sex positivity” movement , but I also really like the movement besides that underlying pressure lol

[@geengengena]

Ashley is the older sister that I never had-and she's 4 years younger than me.

[@mathildeb.2609]

Same ahaha

[@ANNAKAZBERUK]

Same. But I'm 40 😊

[@nghosh91]

Same but I'm 28

[@mzkii1002]

same wish I had a sibling li'e her even though im an only child in my famz😢🤣

[@SuperMarshyy]

Bro. Never have I related so hard to a comment before. I literally look up to her like she's my role model and I'm married with a kid and she's younger than me!

[@kaylah9081]

Hearing Ashley talk about these “girl talk” topics gives me such a sense of calmness and peace- I could seriously listen to her talk for hours

[@kggroom]

Kayla H rightt

[@mooncrater1286]

She has that affect on people. It's beautiful.

[@Taranymph]

i feel connections on so many levels, it is surreal

[@raisajannati]

same she's so relatable and her voice is so calming

[@LChavez93]

It’s actually so cool to hear another girl talking about the same things that drive me crazy

[@justaplantcellundergoingmi1627]

For me, being in a relationship is like wearing socks all the time. (don't question my weird references, it just popped in my head lol) Yes, wearing socks can be comforting since it's warm and cozy but it's not nice to wear them wherever you go, stepping on something wet with socks on is gross and uncomfortable too and it can also leave a stain or rip the socks apart entirely if you're not careful....

[@l.u.7834]

I like this reference.🙂

[@helingunes955]

Or when its too hot its gross lol

[@olehinrichsen3195]

Aw i like that a lot

[@falak4535]

And you also wanna let your feet BREathe for sometime....

[@harmoniousandtranquilhannah]

dude that's actually a really clever analogy! tweet it!

[@lydiah.4644]

I feel like this "fear of aging" is so common nowadays especially because of our school system. Teachers literally begin asking you what you want to be when you're barely 4 years old. The system forces you make life-altering decisions at like age 12 when the world doesn't even see you as proper a teenager. You're expected to have a realistic career goal and a map of your future family and a retirement plan by the time you hit senior year of high school. Society sees you as irresponsible until you hit 21 and even then, its rushing you to know exactly what you want for your future at such a young age. Maybe it's because I'm an overachieving Asian, but I feel like growing up constantly surrounded by that mentality really hurts what we expect from ourselves.

[@girls4722]

yes! in my freshman year we had to choose 3 careers to add to our portfolios and i didn't even know what classes to take next year!

[@starbird7729]

Wow. So valid and true!!!

[@majikhu5171]

Super white and I agree w u

[@peoplethesedays3130]

Say it proud and say it loud! I can relate this soooo much. Im glad we all can :)

[@kiara_lofi]

Same I remember throughout school I went from ballerina to doctor to singer to doctor to early childcare teacher to owning my own nail salon to being a primary school teacher to being a nail tech finally now I just want to open my own bakery or cook at a restaurant in Paris but I'm doing accounting life is crazy

[@nadinengo4627]

pros of being single: you dont have to share your baguettes

[@sarai.ruiz06]

Nadine Ngo omg yes

[@izzz222]

Relationship or not, Baguettes are not for sharing.

[@clemrose9720]

Don’t have to share anything...

[@agentwrench]

I'm sorry to introduce you to the concept of: bestfriend-roommates. Aka, a plague of locust in a trenchcoat.

[@boraanna_]

i'm literally eating a baguette right now 😂😂

[@carinej8163]

So, this is the video that Ashley filmed in 2 hours on February 12th in the middle of Fashion Week. All I could think was: This girl works too hard. I 100% understand your announcement that you were going to be uploading fewer videos.

[@jisoo1571]

omg yes and then she went on a date with Ryan afterwards like her schedule must be packed.

[@kyyylerz]

jisoo i know 😩😩 single queen 😌🙏

[@velvetcake9564]

Being single is the best! I don’t need to stress about anything other than myself haha. I don’t need to “check” with my significant other. Nope, went ahead and booked that trip for a month to Japan. More singles just need to hang out with each other so we can relish in the freedom lol. I’m 34 and happy! I was worried about being single when I was 20. Maybe it’s just me but relationships take a toll on your time, energy and money. You guessed it, I wasn’t in the right relationships and I’m done caring about finding “the one”. You know what? I’m “the one”, I’m going to only live for me! ❤️

[@labotraduc8448]

I too feel so free. My whole life I was compelled to be with someone, maybe because of libido, or maybe because everything pushes us to fall in love. Maybe it is natural, I don't know. But because of that I didn't do things for myself, my mind was always too busy with relationship issues and stuff, not enough busy for myself. Menopause has helped a lot, and now I'm enjoying my freedom so much. When I feel some guy seems interested in me, I'm like "no thank you....". There is so much to do in a day!

[@_ManaviKamble]

U don't know how much your comment helped me thank you so much. I am 20 and i was worried about finding the one but from now i consider myself as the one . Thank you so much ❤

[@imaginaque241]

@@_ManaviKamble me too, but I was about to date a guy who doesn't even love me like I want him to

[@TumiYukii]

I've been single for 24 years. Never had a boyfriend or been kissed, liked plenty of guys but it never worked out. It'll happen at the right time, I'm just focusing on myself & KZbin / art. When you achieve your dreams it puts you in the right place to meet the right person. Plus when you're alone you have all the time to mature & grow as a person (:

[@saranyaa7712]

Thank you for this comment and this reassurance! I'm 19 and I always feel like I need to date someone just because everyone around me is and I don't want to you know? I feel like there's so much for me to do and so much for me to grow as a person before I share my life with someone. I think it's totally okay to be single for as long as you choose to be single. 💜

[@ekatarina6869]

yes sameeee. it happens when it happens

[@Chasch_Daenke]

You put my thoughts into words, thank you :)

[@vashappeninjas]

same but im 21! im just focusing on my studies and i have an amazing relationship with my friends and family so i get all the luv i need

[@sm9855]

So nice to hear that😊

[@christinedo3528]

“the confidence that only a 17 year old right after she’s taken her SAT could have” i’ve been attacked 😭😭

[@spicyricu7217]

I'm 16 and I'm not even straight which is what makes watching this video so interesting. Seeing how a straight girl's views on society's standards for women impacted her and her love life is inspiring and it also brought light to so many issues society upholds. I have no worries of growing old right now and I know when I reach 30, 40, or even 50, I know I'll still be happy looking for a girlfriend without worrying that I've "missed my chance".

[@ashleym119]

After being in my first relationship and it ending, I came back to this video and it made me feel so much better

[@sweetbunny6198]

Sounds like a coping mechanism and self delusion

[@tasheve3015]

i saw a comment that said they’re not pressuring themselves to find a relationship, but they’re looking forward to having one. that’s a super good mindset that i’m gonna keep

[@meoow94]

Exactly where I am right now.

[@squimbwarftestiballs]

But what happens if you will never find one?

[@sasha5294]

Literally me!

[@stillchan871]

Yeah that’s what I always think 🥰

[@Yikkoofficial]

This sounds pleasant. But what if never happens?? I’m old and single still. It’s been a curse.

[@wwlmaria300]

“You are still the protagonist of your own life, even if you’re having a rocky time right now. Give yourself the time and the passion to write your own story”. Beautifully said. It’s actually very encouraging and comforting.

[@gwendelyngomez6333]

I love how I clicked on this video with this expectation that it was going to be about relationships and singlehood but instead it's exposing all the false beliefs that I have internalised growing up because of the media. Which is great! There is so much truth in what you're saying and thank you for taking the pressure and blame off of ourselves and helping us see the bigger picture and how to shift our perspective so that we can be happier with where we are - single or not.

[@angelalee6529]

Omg this popped up on my feed and i thought Ashley’s back 😭 girlie, i miss your content. Wherever you are in life, I hope you’re healing and happy. I wish you resilience and clarity. Stay well!!

[@diana-qf5dw]

me: **already loves being single** okay let’s watch this

[@TheSpiritRoom23]

diana same❤️

[@krizelleronque7282]

High Five 🖐

[@kittenlover5346]

Haha same

[@qtchaoo]

agree 😌

[@TheReelRaymond]

Good for you, Diana. That's a great place to be. I too would learn to love being single if I wasn't forced to through a lifetime of rejection. Don't get me wrong, there are many benefits to being single, but as a 32-year-old who's never been in a relationship I can tell you that the popular "...better to have loved and lost..." saying is probably true.

[@ItssMare]

Ashley: "You are still the protagonist of your own life" Me: *in tears* y-y-you right, I can do this

[@sapontarabora5567]

Same girl, same!

[@anahisanchez3816]

I feel the same, like wth you are right, I can do this

[@Alex_itimia]

YOU GOT THIS GURLLLLLLL

[@tanyasharma9847]

*in tears* you do got thisssss!

[@leiahok7873]

YAAAASSSSSSS

[@0Flow0]

I'm 31 and been in relationships. I suggest everyone to build a strong sense of self and create good friendships, have your own passions and financial idependence. Relationships can be hard because we all have our flaws and fighting can be exhausting. I like living alone even if I'm in a relationship.

[@joojoo8531]

watched this 4 years ago when i was 17, now that I'm 21 I came back bc I needed this. Thank you ashley :)

[@kittyvu5045]

Me too!

[@luana.carvalho]

The universe is literally going “yeah, get used to being single, you’re going to be here for a long while”

[@angelface333]

when i started being okay with being single and with myself as a whole after having a lot of sex to replace relationships and to fill in my deep loneliness, i found my first boyfriend ever a couple months later and it feels so good but i know i’d be okay if we end up not working out.

[@sarai.ruiz06]

lmao KZbin knows the way I’m living

[@user-vy4nr9ci2e]

Fr 😂

[@auliisoares139]

you look like someone I know lol you from Hawaii?

[@brendaluo27]

Sometimes I feel single af (no one has ever even had a crush on me and I’m 23) but I want to always follow this rule: 1. Don’t settle to just to be in a relationship

[@margotlopez9964]

I felt that on a spiritual level. But, don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure someone had a real crush on you at some point. When I was younger I felt like it was impossible for someone to have a crush on me. But after a couple of years and talking with some people about that time in past I realised that some guys did like me, but I was so insecure and so hard on my self that I didn't notice back then.

[@chiarouchka1507]

you can also have a relationship without "settling" :))

[@violettababenko4847]

I’m sure people loved you and had a crush on you and you just didn’t know

[@stephaniesantiago92]

I’ve felt the same way. Honestly I thought something was wrong with me because I have never had a boyfriend and I’m 22. It makes me feel so unattractive at times but then I realized that it’s ok. I mean sometimes I feel lonely but it’s been good to try and find myself.

[@carolineblueskies]

I feel you, and continue to keep doing you and not feel that pressure! I didn't really start dating until I was 23 and wasn't in my first real serious relationship until I was 25. If you had told teenage me that, I would have thought my life was going to be over haha. 30 now, in a relationship with the man I plan on marrying. It happened on a different timeline than a lot of other people or what society deemed acceptable, but I'm happy and that's all that matters!

[@elenaslavova2870]

It's 2022 and I still rewatch this video sometimes when I feel like I need a girl talk. This channel is still such a safe space even though she doesn't upload anymore. Hope she is feeling better

[@whoneedsalife_4371]

I am always low key upset that every show or movie has to have some romantic interest for like every character or sex maybe that's me being a feminist or asexual

[@chandana2113]

Haha I actually identify as asexual (but still feeling romantic attraction to dudes) and I usually get kind of sad about how there's so much emphasis on the character finding a love interest and feeling inadequate without it even though they have so so much going on in their life.

[@XLightChanX]

understand where you're coming from, and i agree in some stories where it's really unneeded , but generally stories with love interests are just way more interesting to me (and in some cases more realistic) and giving the vast majority on tumblr shipping everything with everyone in this world, i assume the majority shares this view. even 1984 had love.

[@kusumk6220]

Even me asexual

[@xmr.ai-emixc2918]

I'm ace too but I'm a total romantic-type. That being said, I HATE that all the shows nowdays seems to focus on relationships and literally, nothing else! It's either, they save x love interest in the end or they save the world and get the girl, or, they fall for this random person and spend the whole movie trying to get with them. Seriously? There's more to life than boy meets girl. I'm not saying that all romshows are boring but, stop making all shows romcoms! Do something else, be original, stop recycling the same "love" plot over and over again. How hard is it to make a friendship plot (involving more than just little kids and animals and family members) or a goal oriented plot, or something involving coming to terms with something, mental health, horror, career, sci-fi, anything other than love stuff!

[@doctorwholover1012]

I wish more shows would have romantic pairings that weren't inherently sexual, like I'm asexual-homoromantic, so I still want a relationship! I just don't want the ~sexual tension~ that simmers behind a lot of pairings in movies/tv shows. I was really looking forward to Riverdale at the beginning bc I was hoping to see Asexual Jughead being able to date in the modern day and have that be normal+accepted, but we all know how that turned out 😒

[@elida7601]

I’m almost 18 and never had a boyfriend or a first kiss. Some of my friends that are in a relationships act like that is the most achieving thing that you HAVE to do in your teen years. I personally feel like I’m not ready for a relationship, I just don’t like being attached to someone and having to talk to them like 24/7 and that is completely fine. I feel like focusing on my career and things that are much more important to me at the moment. And if anyone else feels any kind of pressure in this situation, just remember that it’s your life and the “time stamps” for certain things happen when you want them to happen. Love yourself first and also someone else if you want to 💘💘🥰

[@bristichoudhury3678]

I really admire your mindset!

[@mariajoseruiz5373]

I FEEL YOU. TOT AGREE W U

[@Sonyrocks1Of]

Elida Bukvic no offence but you sound so negative your views on what a relationship is are silly your career should have nothing todo with a relationship a real relationship is something that makes you feel electronic and washes away the bullshit of the grind and the rat race we enter for the entertainment of others

[@elida7601]

SuperTopCat didn’t mean to come off as negative but I get where you are coming from. I know it’s not supposed to feel like you’re being pressured into something and I just don’t feel like I’m at the point of my life where I see it as something gratifying at least. I don’t see relationships or commitment as something bad of course but for now I think it’s not for me 😊

[@sasha-kim5071]

@@Sonyrocks1OfAndin her own way she's respectfully saying she still hasn't found that and that's completely fine. She wants to focus on her own growth until HER time comes which is also fine. That's what she's saying, she's not bashing anyone and their beliefs, their the ones criticising her, that's what she's saying

[@springlady8337]

I don’t feel bad about being single. I just can’t wait until I find someone who is going to love and treat me the way I want to love and treat someone, if that makes sense. I’m not feeling pressured or desperate. I feel like I am really looking forward to loving and being loved.

[@aseofhearts]

Spring Lady best mindset, go u😚

[@fionnaadeline7525]

Good for youuu!! 🌟💗

[@adelastefan8450]

You go girl 🌟💖🌊

[@asillahazman3468]

same i feel like i longed for the feeling of being loved

[@glossygorl5737]

couldn’t have put it better myself

[@Tara-pq2jj]

OMG...that part when you talked about being a "late bloomer" felt that so bad. I had my glow up while I was at uni as well (in second year) and it helped my confidence so much!

[@adityabajpai308]

It's been so long since she left KZbin (or probably not). Anyway I still watch her old videos everytime I'm on this app. The way she is so relatable, raw and brave to even talk about such issues, accepting her flaws and what not. Ashley you are freaking amazing and inspiring. It feels so good to have someone talk about these things because I personally don't have anyone to have such deep conversations with. Everytime I feel upset or low in life I just watch her videos. Now that she is not uploading at the moment I feel this void it's weird to explain. Not that I want her to come back to KZbin just because I feel this way. I'll just enjoy my time re-watching her videos.

[@BeingDaphne]

I’m in an almost 6 year relationship now. I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 19. And I had realized I felt like my whole life revolved around him; what I did, who I hung out with, how lonely I felt if he was or wasn’t around or if he called me that day or not (we don’t live together). I was feeling really low. But a few months ago I finally woke up and decided I wanted my life and happiness to be based on what I wanted beyond my relationship. For example, reconnecting with friends and making new ones outside of my partner’s circle, not stressing if he didn’t call me everyday, and like Ashley said, being the protagonist of my own life. It greatly improved my mindset, happiness, and reality. I am more independent now which my boyfriend wholeheartedly supports. We love each other but he was sad to hear that I felt like if we were to ever break up I would have to start my life over completely with almost zero other friendships where I wasn’t just “his girlfriend”. Now, I live closer to friends, have an almost weekly wine night with one girl friend and group bachelor viewings with other friends. No boyfriend needed. And I feel so much better that I have my own life. We are still together and love each other but my independence makes me feel more comfortable and confident in my partnership. 🥰

[@rain-cb3ze]

Happy for you bb

[@isabellafraser4111]

Good for you

[@BabyBellaMarie]

I love this!

[@aijou1606]

so inspiring! you go girl

[@adagioborntrager4456]

Same exact boat! Been with my fiancé for 6 years now, since we were 16. It definitely can take a toll on you, especially during the teenage years where there is so much personal development and growth. I am so proud of you for seeing that there’s more to life than just a boyfriend, but that it doesn’t mean you have to leave him completely. They make us so happy, but our happiness can’t be dependent on just once source. We need plenty! You go girl, hoping you the best💕

[@chloebooher]

Ashley: I still have 9 years until I'm 30 Me a 29 year old woman: Ashley: and even at 30 I'll still be really young! Me: yes

[@Eleese__]

Chloe B literally same

[@desertrose00]

she is overtly conscious about her age - she mentions it in every video LOL

[@LissetteSanchez]

Same! Glad she said we are still young lol I'm a 31-year-old who looks like a toddler, but still getting that "society" pressure.

[@ttmjima]

@Lola Montez and that's relevant how..?

[@inlandempyre]

@Lola Montez maybe, fuck off

[@cameroncarroll6741]

Hi!!!! I’m 18 and about to go to college. Your videos are so refreshing. I want every young girl could watch them. Thank you so much!!!

[@bellagalloway4735]

Cameron Carroll I love you

[@mjix1984]

As someone who's older than you and your subscribers, I appreciate what you said about growing older, acceptance of yourself and revealing your personal growth and realizations. You're not going to die alone, older skin is empowering and you learn shit loads of valuable knowledge as you age. Good for you, Ashley. You're way beyond your years.

[@jahnaviraman5411]

“our society has a weird way of hating teenage girls” *cough cough tik tok boys

[@sanjanajohn8251]

Jahnavi Raman very true

[@jusolynflower2770]

first thing that came to mind. literally criticism for everything they do

[@saaargummm1868]

*cough cough also middle aged and old people here in India who will always criticize teenage girls ( who are minding their own business, like going to school, tution) for what they're wearing

[@saaargummm1868]

*cough cough also adults here in India who will always judge and sexualize teenaged girls ( who are btw minding their own business , going to school, college) for what they wear

[@asjsk8286]

Yesssss

[@Rye404]

"...but now I think of my life as like a sitcom with ten seasons and I'm just at the beginning of season two. I have so much time in my life before I figure out who the f*ck I am, I'm gonna have so much growing to do, all these different jobs, all these different cities..." That's actually pretty inspiring? New favourite quote/mentality (which is probably gonna go up on some wall in my new apartment)

[@annregnitue1641]

Michelle so true, loved that

[@jeonghanie1672]

watch this when I was 19, now 22 and going through the college years of being single and experience all that same struggle, then eventually learning the joy of being alone - this really hits home. thank you so much Ashley and we miss you!

[@mnm5543]

my 2 year relationship just ended, so this video is really comforting right now. Thank you so much for making it

[@AzureSparkz]

I love the analogy “my life was a Rom com, now it’s a sitcom and it’s only season 2”. Idk why that actually hit me.

[@anyasachdev3212]

“If I kept all my tuition money I could’ve been my own sugar daddy” LOL

[@neegas3490]

@DarthYuYevon .......no

[@jasmineflower236]

@@neegas3490 ?

[@anyasachdev3212]

@Alexandra Hamilton no....

[@DaniWorld000]

😅😅🤣🤣🤣

[@JamesSmith-qv9qo]

University is insanely overpriced...

[@MeganZhang]

This is so interesting because I watched this earlier in the year as a high school senior and again right now, after finishing my first semester of college, and its crazy because some of the things you said resonate so differently with me now. The mentality of wanting guys attention, the enamorment with physical attractiveness, value as a woman decreasing, the expectancy to get married by a certain age... and as she talks about her journey through college, I get the feeling that I'll understand more about what she's talking about careers and success too.

[@michelle-zi3qs]

same i watched this last year before getting into a relationship and now i relate to this video so much differently

[@broganlong5001]

1:50 I would not say never criticized. Toxic masculinity definitely exists and the idea of a guy being "whipped" or being a "simp" are examples of men being criticized/ridiculed. Don't get me wrong- I definitely think women have to deal with a harmful double standard. *no hate just conversing*

[@isabelh6639]

Brogan long tru tru

[@sarai.ruiz06]

tbh, many women are scared to be single for a long time due to being scared of loneliness & not having a partner to experience stuff with. truth is, single or not,, if you’re happy then that’s enough♡ *feel comfortable being single* , & if you aren’t, that’s ok too! edit; also, this can apply to men too, im just talking like it’s directed to women

[@Alex-sv7vt]

I'm sure this is a guy problem as well. With how much we're bombarded with depictions of "perfect" relationships, it's hard not to. My thought is that, until you're happy being alone, you can never really be happy with another person. You'll end up relying on them to make you happy, and that's pretty unhealthy.

[@sarai.ruiz06]

Alex I agree

[@axica5434]

Love this comment

[@MorgansBeauty22]

women*** please!! ‘females’ is a derogatory term🥺🤍

[@sarai.ruiz06]

Axica definitely

[@Sapphiregirl1000]

I feel like being single should be the default and relationships are just happy exceptions. That's the way I see it, I'm the same age as you and have had one relationship and I resisted entering one for a very long time. I feel like women are expected to be in relationships and coddled/'taken care of'. Are only seen as worth something because a man wants her. Being single isn't an affliction to be cured.

[@tahn4579]

Sapphiregirl1000 The funny thing is though, despite the expectation to be “taken care of,” women do SO much of the emotional labor and the “being there” for the guy. It’s freaking exhausting

[@BirdeCyn]

💯❤️

[@kggroom]

Thiss

[@SieMiezekatze]

Perhaps you an aromantic?

[@h00liaa]

@@SieMiezekatze girl... did u even watch the video cuz maybe u should lmfaooo

[@fluorescentadolescent2189]

insane she filmed this at like 5am on no hours of sleep and it’s still so good

[@user-my8qj]

21:39 this is so fucking true and accurate. i realized that advantage of being single when i got into a relationship. We really need that time for ourselves especially in our teenage years building our life and personality

[@spacechitts]

19, never been in a relationship, never kissed. Used to worry so so much about it, feeling very unwanted and ugly with zero self worth. Then realised I'm the one pushing people away, then further realised I'm scared of relationships and it comes from so many sources and insecurities as to why I view it in such a bad light, as an exhausting burden. Still working on that yikes but also learned to be single and very content now, doesn't mean I don't have days of feeling absolutely needy and watch romcoms the entire day and cry over 2D anime boys. But relationships will come around when I'm ready or when Im ready to 'search out' for it. Also ageing. That topic hit home I almost got teary lmao. I have such fear and loathing towards ageing that everytime I hear about old age, ageing or then and now pictures I get so uncomfortable and feel like crying sometimes. It's an issue. I feel like time is running out and there's so much that I want to do and I don't have enough time. I'm so stressed ugh it's still take a lot of time and work to reach that kind of mentality Ashley has but I'm so thankful she spoke about it. It really helps. LIKE BITCH WHO IS DOING IT LIKE HER. She's such an inspiration to so many of us ufff

[@rebeccasignori]

Chitts Jr 16 but same. Next year i’m doing an exchange year in the us and I’m scared about missing out of opportunities to find a boyfriend. I would love to find one, the problem is I don’t really like anyone. I want to experience being in a high school relationship but can’t manage to find someone that is interested in me and i like him back (?) . Idk waiting for a prince to come knock on my door I think lol. I’m happy though, But sometimes i feel lonely and think I’m running out of time and time will Pass too fast. So.. yes. Thank god ashley talks about these things and how to be single and giving 0 fucks

[@michellechu5777]

19 turning 20 soon and I cANT RELATE MORE.

[@spacechitts]

@@rebeccasignori the struggle of finding someone you like is real! But let's never get into a relationship just for the sake of it. Don't sit around waiting for him to come knocking tho! Go out and get cho man. Lol of course it's easier said than done but still. There's plenty of time maybe you'll find someone you like in US, if not then that's okay too. I know we have time and we're still young and I shouldn't be in a rush but I feel like I missed out on being dumb naive 'teenagers' falling in love, sure I'll find love when I'm older but keyword being older. Lol I felt those teenage years were trial years and I missed out 🤦🏻‍♀️xD

[@Cestmoiquilaifaitt]

19 to be 20 and same over here ! Ashley is inspiring me and I wish I'll grow as much as her. I believe we have to focus and work on ourselves before any boy even though it's not always as easy as said. But one thing's for sure WE GOT THIS !

[@katmercer4581]

Me too!! 💖

[@rea-lm1hr]

i love how open ashley is about this stuff.. like she's not just a fashion "influencer" she's kind of like a big sister that gives actual advice. i rly love these type of videos

[@the_socialphobic_girl]

IKR! Me too. She's like the nice older sister that I never had . The only "influencer" who actually influenced me : )

[@sarai.ruiz06]

I know, she’s the older sister that I’ve always wanted 💗💗

[@madebyanagarcia]

to all the girls in their 20s and 30s in a similar situation, you still have about 60 years of life ahead of you, if you married now, you'd ideally have 60 years together with that person, so it's cool to slow down and live life as it comes because you've got time!

[@khimmybee322]

That is so true. I am turning 30 soon and this made me realize I dont have to pressure myself. I am happy with what I have right now and should not mind nor compare my life to others.

[@dietchie]

This video is all the mental sets I need. I am 22 and just ended 4 year relationship. I realized I stopped challenging myself to grow better as I settled in a relationship. I want to feel growing and being independent again. Thanks Ashley❤︎

[@niconicodii]

I’ve never appreciated identifying with a KZbinr as much as I do now, this was the most needed and kindest call out video to my own unhealthy behaviors and opinions of myself.

[@Sonyrocks1Of]

Nicole Dunkak omg wah wah wah I hope u and your sticking brater have a good life together 😂

You just don't want to love being single. REALLY. You need a partner, you need a family. Years will pass and you will be freaking alone. Don't listen to these stupid youtubers.

[@annikanielsen740]

Bence Illes but why do you NEED kids and a family?

Why? When you get old, who will support you? Whom will you look upon to when you need help? You want to stay alone, without any help, any family? Think about it. I'm 30 right now, I feel like I hate kids and I don't want any, but I know that's not how life should go on and I hope that I will change my mind somehow.

[@lytruong1074]

Bence Illes why does your happiness have to depend on someone else? I know an old man who never got married. He’s 60 now and he’s traveling the world, living his life happily. Plan your retirement to support yourself, you can have a family if you want to but you don’t need one to be happy.

[@StimPakTskAwwYea]

Just wanted to address the double standard thing about guys since I'm one of the male viewers in the small % of your male audience... Wanted to shed some light on the opposite side of the standard too. First, I completely agree that it is ridiculous that women are still expected to be in a relationship to "be complete" or "be happy". On the opposite side for guys though, I have personally experienced and discussed with other guys about how there is also almost a "frat" standard for single guys where: Yes it is ok for you to be single but you should totally take advantage of it and be sleeping with as many girls as possible and if you aren't you are either possibly gay or less manly. Guys jump to criticize other guys' masculinity when they see a single guy not actively humping anything that moves and that standard is ridiculous as well! Everyone should be able to be happy single and not judged for why they aren't sleeping with more people or going on more dates or trying to find someone new!!!

[@katcansmile3464]

ceekaytee here's your crown king 👑

[@daniellefernandes7510]

yess! the mindset towards being single needs to change for everyone.

[@Mariam-uy4hn]

Yeah this macho culture is failing both genders :/

[@TheJelloash]

Ewww all these boomer ideals needs to stop at our generation please

[@joydickerson5210]

I appreciate this comment so much!

[@bernadettgal8407]

I think you only can have a healthy relationship if you have self-esteem, because if you’re too insecure you can’t solve your problems

[@alwayssleeping28]

This woman has so much wisdom omg. Thank you so much. I feel like you’ve put all of my repressed fears and anxieties into words and it’s really nice to hear that someone else knows what it’s like and can clarify how I feel when I don’t even know myself sometimes:) You’re awesome!

[@Anne-ug4jv]

When I got out of a long term relationship, what helped me was Hayao Miyazaki's films. They romanticize normal, everyday tasks like commuting, cleaning, and cooking. It inspired me to enjoy my own company. *edit: I'm very much glad and happy to hear that a lot of people can relate! What a nice community Ashley has.

[@ren7068]

Anne Cadavos this,!!!!

[@lalalovinlifelala]

💖💖 love this, I feel the same way

[@elisesuarez9215]

this is so true! what i love about his films is that while the aspect of adventure and excitement is never lost, it also shows the beauty of everyday life and domesticity. 💖

[@starbird7729]

Yes!!!!!! Love his films

[@majikhu5171]

Anne Cadavos when I saw this comment I decided to look up this guy to see what films he’s made, and then I saw they’re all Ghibli movies!!! I need to rewatch them all tbh and I think this is a reason to :)

[@vallegarcia8325]

Turned 19 today. I've been a single pringle my whole life. Barely even had real life crushes, not even actors. I've never kissed anyone and I've been told to lower my standards my whole life because when asked about "A man you find attractive enough" I answer "Henry Cavill"- by everyone except for my dad, even my therapist- but just a few weeks ago I realised something truly important. Every single time I like someone my creativity just goes down the drain. And as a highly creative and imaginative person I HATE that feeling. So I got to the realisation that what I'm looking for is some kind of muse. Someone that inspires me to create and be the best version of myself. Not just any guy/girl that comes around paying me a tiny bit of attention. We have to know what we're looking for in a relationship. Jumping in a pool that has no water will only hurt you. Of course we will try and fail, so we'll have to try again. But knowing what makes me happy and what I want in a partner has made me feel so much better about my insecurities. Just wanted to share this thoughts with whoever wants to read them.

[@claudineniyonkuru1144]

Happy birthday to you. 💕

[@younesson6452]

i'm lgbt living in the middle east ,i'm 22 and never kissed or been in a relationship ,it's almost impossible ,so be greatful at least you can if you wanted to

[@vallegarcia8325]

Claudine Niyonkuru thank you so much

[@vallegarcia8325]

younes Son I'm very sorry for you and the circumstances you're living. I am grateful for the liberty I have here even being lgbt myself. Take lots of care

[@nata6025]

Ok, but Henry Cavill? Girl, you have excellent taste!

[@sthenoduma5323]

I am 47 and I so wish that I trusted myself as much as you do at 21. I knew that marriage was not what I wanted to do but I did it anyway for fear of being wrong and dying lonely and bitter. I am so appreciative of the life I am living now, post marriage. I do appreciate the lessons that I learned over the ten years I was married. Still, it didn't have to happen and I am so happy and proud of you for sharing this message. For anyone who needs confirmation that the single life can be your best life, trust me. The grass on this side of the fence is fantastic.

[@dogoislove8971]

I have the same thoughts these days.. Like, I know that I don't even care about sex that much or intimacy or anything and I don't hate being alone, but I'm scared of feeling too lonely, dying alone as you said.. Can you please share more with me? It really helps

[@awenisvlogging3194]

I don't have to learn to be single, I'm immune to it now cause I've never be in a relationship 😂😂😂

[@emmalaurent3117]

Ashley : “No matter how my life turns out, it’s gonna be a fucking blast” Me *eating cookies and fangirling over this video* : “... P R E A C H”

[@emmsklooz]

Dammit now I want cookies

[@TheSummerOfGeorge1]

go get a job, waaaaaaaamen

[@dreamingofthemoon]

You are in Ashley's story!!

[@emmalaurent3117]

Some day just saw it! Thank you 😊

[@gleseamv]

TheSummerOfGeorge1 where did all these incels come from? what are you doing here lol

[@MV-xf5rg]

What i love about Ashley’s videos are the comments the most...honestly i think ashley has one of the best subscriber base ever mostly because we all comment on how amazing she is or how she relates with us but most importantly we give our own opinions thoughts experiences feelings in the comments...we literally open ourselves and are confident to do so i think in part because of Ashley’s videos being so thought inducing and so meaningful. I love it when she talks about this stuff and all the comments are so nice or sad or happy to read idk...its really different from comments under other youtuber videos...i dont see hate i dont see toxicity i dont see any comments on like specificities in the video like oh ashley hair is blah blah or oh the lighting is crap...idk i feel Ashley has a very “intelligent and interested and sincere” subscriber base..idk if anyone understands what i mean but yea

[@nadyalebedeva1501]

M V exactly!!! You always get some good vibes and inspiration out of these videos and comments. I think Ashley is just a nice person and she attracts same personalities here🌸

[@joselocalau123]

Yes! I was just thinking that while reading the comments. I think since she’s a very honest, open and intelligent person, people who are similar feel connected to her. Like she attracts people with those characteristics and at the same time allows us to have a safe and comfortable space to have really interesting conversations

[@bestdressed]

you guys are seriously the best!! my favorite part of making these chatty videos is reading the comments about your guys' experiences or seeing y'all bring up really intelligent points i didn't even think of. it's so cool that i get to learn from you guys too and feel less alone :,)

[@HaNguyen-pi8rk]

Ashley, I must scream at you: "You are super cute, fun, and kind. Guys feel lucky to have your attention. Dont let that severe impostor syndrome destroy your sense of self".

[@ava.m.0073]

I don’t want to be in a relationship but at the same time I don’t want to be single. I’m currently dating my first ever partner! She was my bsf for 5 years and now we r dating! I had a crush on her for a while so yeah it’s awesome, but she lives in NY and I live in a different state so we can’t see each other. She is coming down for 3 days and I’m so excited!! I love her to pieces and will never leave her ever! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@oiiiie457]

I feel like relationships will never work unless both people are comfortable with being alone and are comfortable with themselves. Cuz if not, they'll be very dependant on one another that they lose themselves

[@cayennepepperrr]

YESSSSS!!! I have a friend she's very sociable (yeah best thing to describe instead of clingy) so she's not very fond of being alone and one time she broke with her bf and then said to me she wanna find a new bf I tried (once) asking her to not cuz you're not mature but yeah girls that age just wanna have one you know just have it or have it so yeah she got a new bf then after graduating she complained to me about her bf rarely come find her and only spend times with his friends and then she broke up with the bf I'm like whaaaaaa? There's so much stuff going on my head and I feel so dang bad for the bf and at the same time not cuz they're not ready but still they became a couple that's so not the right move and now that she's single she kinda cling to me a bit which sometimes irritate me Side story: after breaking up she still tryna get the boy's attention like whuddd? And when we're going out if there's the boy's friends cousin family whatever she would just cling to me and said "I'm scared" yoooo wtfuh I'm a bit annoyed but being the gud flend I just ok. I'm a bit mad at her but she's not a very bad friend so I did not just yell at her or anything just sometimes a lil bit advice

[@lola-kw6we]

this>>>

[@lalalalala2024]

Yassssssss

[@sagefairyy]

pleaseee start a podcast :)) you give me so much confidence in being a women while also being apart of such a misogynist society where women are put down for their age and their looks. i appreciate these types of videos with all of my heart; you are such an inspiration !!!

[@marlalorenaproharamgonzale3505]

Amanda Galarza I would loveee a podcast too 😍😍 hope she sees your comment!

[@hidnpnts]

we live in a society where both men and women are set to an unhealthy set of standards and it really effects teens/young adults into thinking what their life should be like. Im hoping the future has more positivity for both genders.

[@wolf114xthatsme6]

Yeah same. I'd just say that men get put down too for not being fit and such. Good video!

[@loefoto2824]

yes!!!!!

[@kaminoishi8040]

Yes! Podcast every week! 😍

[@screambean33]

I watch this video after every breakup, and it helps me every time. Thank you.

[@dhruvipatalia4668]

Okay I have watched this video before when it was uploaded, when I was 17, and now I rewatched, it sounds so dumb but my god I kindof sobbed through the entire 23 mins.

[@jeannevee8459]

my older sister is nearing 40 now and her motto is: "when the perfect guy comes, then he'll come! if not then i won't die single, I've been a part of this family!"

[@Samantha-vi3jo]

@Pickel Sandwich I think everyone has their own definition of perfection...She meant perfect for her.

[@Samantha-vi3jo]

Pickel Sandwich ...finding the perfect fit doesn’t mean Prince Charming...Perfection doesn’t mean the man is perfect, I’m talking about the fit...

[@Samantha-vi3jo]

Pickel Sandwich she can be and have what ever standards she wants. I was merely correcting you because you missed the point of the original comment. My age is none of your business and I question yours with a username like Pickel Sandwich and who can’t seem to grasp the basic thing point I am trying to make. I’m probably talking to a 16 year old lol

[@ktcb5429]

Pickel Sandwich wtf? Its up to HERR!! We all have different opinions of perfect. “She shouldn’t be picky?” Boy- i-

[@Samantha-vi3jo]

@Pickel Sandwich Yeah and there are MILLIONS of old lonely delusional men out there too.

[@katpricot]

about the whole “coming of age” thing you talked about, i think that’s why i LOVED Ladybird so much. It was a coming of age story about a girl where the end WASN’T about getting the guy! you see Ladybird go through romantic relationships but that’s not the point or objective of the story, it’s just part of her life as she goes through her final year of high school. ugh, i love that movie so much

[@juls2909]

omg i literally watched this a few days ago and now i saw this comment dhjshs i loved it very much too !

[@blonduose]

@Lola Montez you just make it sound as if she couldn't have done it without the man, just think about it, why did she need to hook up with a famous male (and not female) director to get to this point? :) feminism and it's history and the struggle of women. So it was still about her career and growing-up

[@blonduose]

@Lola Montez Hi, I'm not a fan of hers, I just wanted to make a statement that a woman to be successful relying on a man should be criticised from a feminist perspective : so not to just blame the woman but also to see why it's easier to for women to be sidekicks and make it with male help ? Because men are more established, respected everywhere. Also Chantal Akerman was a far better director, but that is on the alternative side of film and not comparable to mainstream let's not say trash but just mainstream movies that attempt to be a bit alternative while staying conservative. My main point was not to criticise her directing capabilities but the way her success was portrayed in your comment is how women are mainly remembered, even if they actually have talent, or are not straight and are portrayed as straight, etc the list is long and as I've been studying feminist literature for a while I am observant of where these kind of perception of female success and work come from and why and how to analyse them and just to try and understand how patriarchy has formed our perception of women and men and trans people etc. Might have gone off point a bit now, this is a wide intersectional topic that would need a few book's length of a comment and discussion....anyway my point is also that women are either overlooked (ada lovelace, female early programmers, authors, artists) or portrayed in relation to a male more successful person, who 'gave' them their fame aka Camille Claudel in relation to Rodin (from the art point of view). It's just feminism is analysing a lot of our internalised misogyny (like Ashley talks about) and when someone calls out sth to really grasp it and somehow add to one's knowledge etc. Like Ashley for ex. talks only about straight women in her video, and it's fine, but for me as a lesbian I just don't relate as much - as my romantic interest is not targeted towards men, but on the other hand the fact that a woman seeks men's approval, a form of internalised misogyny is also true for lesbians and queer people, and just like all other women conscious of feminism, we are all working on dismantling this internalised misogyny, and in that part the video is relatable. OK I went way of track gotta get on with my day now, bye.

[@chenalindelossantos967]

and "Little Women" as well

[@MonteyCarlo92081]

Going through the endeavors of relationships at 12-13 years of age in a semi mature facet was a huge benefit. Just 2 years of a head start in smoothing out the edges of toxic relationships and guesswork helps you out a ton in terms of focusing yourself in your 20s

[@diyakhetan]

I come back to this so often. You really were the best at this

[@vokkagirl]

“Buying a vibrator is not a bad step” See, this is why you’re my favorite youtuber

[@norahaz8523]

Well not in all countries allow selling these. In my country it’s illegal.

[@multistannerbitch7109]

Felix Bruyns why should using a vibrator be a sin, i dont want to disrespect your religion but don’t push yours onto others either.

[@sofiastoltzfus3521]

@Felix Bruyns so a woman is not allowed to feel pleasure by herself?? That's BS.

[@yooablossom3496]

Felix Bruyns stop pushing yourself religion onto other people. And pleasuring yourself is a sin? That’s bull shit 🙄

[@amyukulele]

Felix Bruyns get over it, felix x

[@rebeccacummings6774]

me: i wanna be single bc being tied down in a relationship will make me feel limited and i still wanna be selfish also me: i wanna date this guy i know that listens to me with genuine interest and is supportive and helpful and funny

[@undefinablechrissify]

In a healthy relationship you shouldn't feel tied down or limited. I am in a relationship for two years now and I feel like I'm able to do more than ever before. It depends on the partner you are or aren't with :)

[@LouiseWinnie]

@@undefinablechrissify me too..should still be able to have free time where you dont see each other so you can do your own hobbies etc etc. but everyones different and some people like being single so just do what makes ya happy :)

[@sunjanakulkarni3217]

Bruh this talk gave me so much hope. I was ready to go out and conquer life as a single, independent gal. Then COVID and quarantine happened and now I’m stuck inside indefinitely with no bae, no friends, and no chance in hell to go out and live my best life since I’m terrified of being infected if I take one step outside of my neighborhood.

[@luvillamil1]

Funnily enough, I've felt both sides of the coin. I'm 21, in a long-term, loving relationship, and I feel the pressure to "enjoy my 20s", "be free" and participate in hookup culture, even though it's definitely not my thing and I'm really happy as I am. Women get criticised no matter what we do 🙄

[@evilkookieleader]

I've gotten this too. Been with my partner since I was 17, 6 1/2 years now. I wasn't planning on a relationship, I was actually keen to not be in a relationship but he just fell in my life. But people are always judging that I've been in a relationship so young. But I am super supportive of people being happily single or happily in a relationship

[@randomname9703]

Could it be that these "happy being single" videos are only helpful for some people? Don't these videos put up illusions for other people? Aren't we individuals with different feelings that we can't change? I have been single for my whole life and my anxieties are getting bigger and bigger. I question myself if i'm just bad at being single or too dependent of a partner. Would you be as happy being single as not being single? If the feeling of being free is as strong as the feeling of being in a relationship, wouldn't only be every second person coincidentally in a relationship?

[@mol7825]

I was really happy to see a comment like this. I’m 20, and i’ve been in a relationship with my partner for almost 3 years now. I feel like its actually way more common now a days to be criticised for this, and to appear to be prudish or inexperienced if you’ve only ever been involved with one partner. “Hook up culture” actually seems to be at an all time high, and the new “norm” if anything, and i’m not against people being a part of this, because each to their own. But its funny how I’ve been told i’m too young to find my life partner and want to settle down with that person. I should be going out meeting loads of different people, sleeping with loads of people in order to “experience” being in my 20s? I think Ashley made a good point in her video about it being okay to not feel pressured by hook up culture if it isn’t your thing, because it isn’t everyones thing, and a lot of people feel pressured by society to participate in it and not have normal long term relationships or fall in love.

[@priyankaghosh312]

Funny enough, very relatable, when i was in college for first 2 years I was criticised subtly for not being in a relationship, now dating for 2 years and in my early 20s, i am being told to let loose and enjoy the hook up culture.

[@jessestradaa]

I’m in the exact same situation and it’s such a weird spot to be in

[@SabrinaRina777]

I love how Ashley brings these topics to the forefront and isn’t shying away from talking about it, I’m pretty sure it was uncomfortable in one way or another but I just wanted to say thank you for making me feel comfortable that we can have these types of conversations in an open setting. Side Note: when she was talking about “aging gracefully” I had always believed that it was more about aging in a natural way( w/o Botox and surgeries) at least that’s kinda what my mom taught me and I think it would be a great way to change the narrative of how we should recognize aging gracefully

[@starryoongie1331]

Wow that's what my mum taught me as well I think a better way to see it a because it's something everyone can achieve

[@JustineMfulama]

Yes I agree! The topic really makes you think and appreciate the season you are in.

[@aliciashao1658]

I watched the NY fashion week video so now I know you filmed this at 3:00AM. That's dedication. Love you girl.

[@veronhicawai4763]

This is the kind of video that are timeless reminder❤ watched this 2 years ago 😂still single

[@khimmybee322]

saame 😅

[@jennifreda]

im in my happiest relationship ever in my life, and its purely because i fell into this relationship when i was happy on my own and not actively looking for one. we got together purely because we both wanted to be together and not for other reasons.

[@jennifreda]

@@salma-ym6bq thank you

[@emilytremblay1288]

when I got the notification that you posted this, I was in the middle of my 13 hour drive back home to live with my parents after my boyfriend and I broke up. We had been together for nearly 3 years, lived together for a year and a half, and have 2 dogs together. We were planning on getting married and he even bought the ring, so it’s been really rough. Your video came at the time when I needed it most and I cried happy tears because it made me hopeful that I can be happy again but on my own this time. You probably won’t see this but I just want to put it out there that this means so much to me right now. Thank you and ilysm 🥰🥰

[@danielaaguilar9783]

😊😊😊😊

[@BigbangG5]

I get the whole'' slut-shaming'' part so much! It's ridiculous! Im a proud independent woman who loves sex and falling in love with souls for a night and enjoy life with all it's perks and ups /downs! I probably had about 20 sexual partners in my life or so ?! And who cares? I don't regret it, sex is awesome, the reality is, I know what I deserve and what I look for in a man and the reality is, it's hard to find that guy you want. I love being single after so much practice, I love my freedom, that I can pack and go for a solo trip when I feel stressed and just live my life and enjoy meeting beautiful strangers on the way. I think it's quite sexist to think a woman should only have like max 4 sexual partners, it's the 21st century and we deal with so much more shit than guys, they can't take away the joy of sex and nobody can stop me from doing it!

[@mmmmyeah1849]

More power to you❤️

[@YaraMelAround]

Love this energyyyy!

[@rosequartz2290]

You expect to find a good mind after all your reckless behaviour?

[@weenusfranklin2752]

As long as your using condoms preach

[@rosequartz2290]

@@weenusfranklin2752 Accept that behaviour is more likely to spread new diseases

[@saltwaterharper7290]

Going through the hardest breakup of my life, and this turned my sobs into crying laughter (I’ll get back to smiling eventually lol!). Thank you ❤️🚀

[@tajashania]

ashley: has no bed, furniture or proper background setup also ashley: still manages to make her video aesthetic af

[@tajashania]

Calico Cat i meant ‘also ashley’ not ‘also me’ 😭😭 i’m used to using the phrase ‘also me’ 😅 i swear it wasn’t hate i love ashley

[@merve4661]

@@zvezdoblyat ohmygod stop being so fucking annoying and stop getting triggered over everything op obv just made a funny comment you people ruin the internet.

[@zvezdoblyat]

Merve* learn how to spell

[@merve4661]

@@zvezdoblyat calling me out on my spelling when English is my 4th language ignoring the actual fact I stated 🥳 stop being an ass on the internet no one wants your bs here be negative somewhere else and my grammar is fine. I would love to see you speak in Turkish Dutch or French. I corrected the comment so you can feel the burn more this time 😳😁.

[@zvezdoblyat]

Merve* English is my fifth language you’re not special