Betrayal Trauma: Tips for Talking with Your Spouse

Getting beneath the sighs, frustrations, and general misunderstandings of trauma is critical when trying to heal from infidelity. If we don’t, we can sabotage recovery and the safety so desperately needed in the relationship. This week, Laurie shares 3 practical strategies to help normalize and understand the threat level the betrayed spouse may be feeling, with the ultimate purpose of improving the recovery process.
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[@ericanderson8425]

Very helpful insight. It has been over thirty years and I am still reminded and hurt by the betrayal.

[@johna30]

Damn! I hope you heal. That's a long. I don't want to still be feeling this a year from now!

[@KP-hv4tt]

5 years ago for me and I still experience triggers and hurt. I get it. ❤ I love my husband so so much and just trying to take things day by day and smile even when I’m hurting bc it sounds crazy to still be bothered or feel pain from something that happened so long ago I know but idk why I am the way I am I just know it bothers me to hear things like are we still on this or here we go again or you always remind me of how I changed you blah blah blah😭 helloooooo babe I don’t like thinking about it either. I don’t like living like this or enjoy it either. If I could just forget I’d gladly do that. I never trusted a man and I had been cheated on before. But this was my husband and I actually really trusted him. I still just can’t wrap my head around the fact he did this to me. It was just a blow job and it still hurts more than boyfriends in the past having full blown sex with other ppl. Just craziness. The brain is weird lol.

[@erginceyhan]

Sad to hear, such a long time to hold a pain. It has been 3 months for me. I hope not to remeber after a year.

[@eventhere2788]

It's been 22 years since dday from 2nd husband. I know he's repented and we're in better place now. After what we've been through I know he's still here, still loving me, still sorry. Most days I'm ok but every now and then triggers happen and I revert back and have to climb out of the hole again and be validated again, be reassured again, be held in my grief again. I hate it when those episodes happen. I'm thankful my husband is patient but want to grow past this. When will it happen?

[@andynorton5830]

Mine is 45 years and it hurts like he'll every day

[@wandafrost6379]

22 years and I still feel like it happened yesterday. I didn't ask for this; this was my H's choice not mine.

[@tt-bo7px]

This came out just in time.

[@mikehamilton1783]

Thank you Laurie, as a lifetime west Tx rancher and betrayed spouse (years ago) I might identify with your analogy more than some others. Getting kicked, run over, banged around, and injured by animals that outweigh me by more than 1000 lbs over the years can’t even begin to compare with the trauma I’ve endured due to my wife’s infidelity…but the caution and guarded watchfulness after the fact have been very similar to the hyper vigilance I live with daily now. I stayed because we had kids and there was just too much to lose, but it’s been a difficult, ongoing struggle for many years. I sincerely appreciate your efforts to help those like me…bless you!