Beyond scapegoating: Arthur Colman at TEDxPrinceAlbert

Arthur Colman: Psychiatrist
Arthur talks about scapegoating in human groups, how it plays out in victimhood or revenge, and the ways it can be held in check and, sometimes, overcome.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

[@mohamedsalama4593]

For anyone out there suffering right now....WE ARE STRONGER THAN THOSE ABUSERS!!! Don't stop clawing your way out of that dark hole they tried to bury you in. Learn all you can about what they are doing to you, why, & how you can escape their clutches. Freedom & Happiness is yours to have. Don't let them make you believe that you don't deserve to live a great life!!!

[@gracetoglory5020]

Thankyou 💐

[@lilwinged5291]

Beautiful to encourage..Thank you ..🥰🥰.. needed that this morning.

[@mgmail7279]

Well said!

[@LisaS1]

But it's so hard to feel any happiness when you have all these memories of these terrible, cut-throat words they said to you (in online messages).

[@mgmail7279]

@@LisaS1 I recently learned that one thing to do is look at the thoughts, say to yourself "gee how does that make me feel" and then try to come up with a different interpretation (such as "that's my mother's problem, not a fact about me") that doesn't attack yourself. So far, I'm failing at it, but supposedly one can master it over time....

[@gloria2fly850]

I use to want revenge. Now I simply want to be free and allowed to build again without others literally tearing it down as much as they can.

[@thelonewolf848]

Been the best bestest scapegoat to literally my entire family. Moved away. Cut off people. I can't even do social media. I am blamed for consequences of situations where I wasn't even involved. It is insidious in nature. It makes one want to unexist. I have had moments of wanting to simply die and disappear. Imagine every bad choice others make being made your fault. People who I've helped accusing me of every sin they commit. Being constantly triangulated. And never ever being helped. Ever. So yes. This is a horrible assignment to bear as a human being. I have turned to God because I literally can't find it in anyone to feel human enough to feel unashamed of my existence. God is my #1.

[@ayseg253]

I went through the same. You articulated it well. Sorry it happened to you too

[@stacysmith8723]

Much love to you, and yes I understand you completely, just feel sorry for them, they are lost and don't know God's love through Christ so they can't give love

[@maggiehastings3883]

@@stacysmith8723 my family are so called christian. but still abusive

[@leahflower9924]

It's good you did that but it's ridiculous that we have to go to those lengths what was our crime? Being born?

[@dancinina4592]

I wish I would have had a relationship with Jesus and knowledge of the word prior to being a target of this flood of darkness. Maybe someone will care today. Maybe someone wont perpetuate the desolations with their silence. Maybe someone will interact with me in reality or write me, in reality, in a communication that is not a gaslight, manipulation, and reality denial

I was my families scapegoat. They were shocked when I said I was leaving and their response was “what are you going to do without us, were your family and we’re all you have”. I did not care told them I’d rather be lonely than forced to be in a relationship with people who don’t love or respect me. It was the the first time I’ve seen all of them speechless.

[@lisalph8922]

"What are you going to do without us?" was pure projection. They were really thinking, "What are we going to do without you (to criticize?)"

[@fifilafleur5555]

Good for you!!!! I’m so glad you left and told them exactly what they did. Prayers… 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@barbarachipman4429]

nothing worse than being the victim and the scapegoat. it is like living with insult after injury every day.

[@celticphilomena]

Yes absolutely and hard to believe it happened 😮

[@ytb8361]

Exactly! Well said!

[@tracik1277]

When it’s your own family.

[@xrc7445]

@@tracik1277 Same here. I'm done with them all, I only wish I had done it sooner.

[@tnijoo5109]

In only a couple sentences, it’s like decades of pain is understood. Thank you 🙏

[@davydacounsellor]

Being intelligent in your family leaves you wide open to being the one who is always there to help solve problems, problem is when you desire a life of your own and not helping your family, you'll get the blame for their ills and misfortune, and it's even worse if your own life takes off, be strong and hold to your own beliefs.

[@mgmail7279]

So true. My family never complimented me when I succeeded. When I lost a lot (health, aged-out of work, etc), they were giddy with joy. It was an insane sight and so painful.

[@dnk4559]

I can so relate to all of your comments!

[@marydietterich5968]

The worst are the pretenders…Very clever,but the most ill!

[@Niko5black]

My entire family scapgoated me. I moved countries.

[@lonewolf-oc9vr]

So did i

[@mgmail7279]

@@lonewolf-oc9vr I tried, but my pain and self-loathing seemed to have followed me. It's a constant struggle (daily) to learn how to change that.

[@lonewolf-oc9vr]

@@mgmail7279 honestly the pain will never realy go away,you have to think like they weren't your family just an obstacle to ruin your life,and leave it in the past,now you have escaped and you are free thats what matter,all you have to do now is to rebuilt your self comfidents

[@mgmail7279]

@@lonewolf-oc9vr Thanks. I'm taking your advice!

[@lonewolf-oc9vr]

@@mgmail7279 you're welcome.hope it will help you like its helping me

[@glendaruiz2477]

My narcissistic mother made me her scapegoat, I went no contact going on 5 years!

[@peilin6212]

The movie "Matilda" is also a movie about scapegoating. :) It is a great movie.

[@sianrudd9167]

I watched it the other day

[@briellehunter3290]

My mom was physically, verbally, emotionally abusive until I realize she was at age 33. Now she is always fussing over me and giving me stuff. She denied everything, I’ve been self isolating for three years and I can’t help but wonder what she has been telling people about me or doubts it’s just paranoia. It’s also strange because since I’ve been trying to recover everyone has either abandoned, rejected or denied me. Even my grandma has commented rude things about me on Facebook I hate not trusting my mom but it’s so scary

[@fifthavenuegirl]

Your mother sounds like a narcissist and she is smear-campaigning you. Watch videos on daughters of narcissistic mothers. It's an actual thing with cookie cutter behaviors.

[@A.S2400]

Brielle Hunter I could have written that myself !! My mother is the same as yours, and I was also 33 when I discovered this!! Check out daylight out of darkness, escape from narcissism, narcissism survivor, and many other great you tubers !!! We can heal. You need to get a little distance from her, and the other family members to get some perspective.

[@treefrog0826]

My mom was a narcissist she projected everything bad about her onto me. My mom made me the scapegoat as a young child and told so many lies about me. Unfortunately i didn't figure all this outt until a few months before she died. When she died "Oct 2019" my whole family turned on. I can't believe i didn't see it before. Thank goodness for great friends. They do make it easier but i still cry all the time over it.

[@Lily59265]

@@treefrog0826 I'm glad you noticed it & surrounded yourself w/ positive, supportive friends

[@elizabethandiosa4579]

They're criminals. They are abusive. Save yourself don't ever f Go back watch out for flying monkeys and the goons pretend friends they send to spy on you

[@MP-po6fj]

Been the family scapegoat and the "truth teller" because no one wanted to talk about the elephant in the room. Was completely ostracised when i was then faced with hard times and thank god i survived it and was SO proud. Done so much healing work on myself that i was strong and self reliant and proud of it. After my Npd father died i felt enormous guilt to want to try and help my brother who ended up in a mental hospital and he knew i had a back problem 20 years. He kept asking for a hug and i declined and he asked again and i trusted him and he went straight for my lumbar fracture and clasped his hands and pulled me so tight. Left me with nerve damage now. Should of stayed away period even after my narc father died as the GC siblings hate the scapegoat for life and keep on dumping the problems and hassle onto the scapegoat indefinitely. Like taking over the role of the Npd parent . He has now ruined my life and have zero mobility now

[@umchinagirard1800]

Dr Arthur had brilliant many articles on scapegoat ing on his websites where have they gone?

[@CourseCreatorsCollective]

Oh my Good lord. Hope you are doing well

[@ThomasDoubting5]

Without being a scapegoat I'd have been dead to my own life... Because let me tell you when you realize what you're trying to be part of is the last thing that you should be

[@IamPotato_007]

Oh yeah. A scapegoat walks away and reaches at the best place

[@lauralemontree26]

Ooooh i LOVE this !!! ☺️ & so true

[@mialite7959]

The "group dynamics of scapegoating" is why I don't like people any more. I've had enough. Done.

[@simp2234]

Mee too

[@rmcd823]

nancy johnson The same here.

[@moonfreedom8523]

I think of scapegoats like field mice driven into holes by foxes. I withdraw a lot nowadays, spent a lot of time on KZbin in Live Hangouts on topics that interest me. What about the other part? What if people driven into holes, came out and said, "I don't care what you think, I don't care if you like me, but here I am." I've made some great friends in strange ways. Both them and I had these kinda problems, but then without an agenda to harm, came together for better or worse.

[@thewolf14]

Those arent people. Those are genetic leftovers. We are moving up.

[@rashmee02]

Brent bee .....atleast the scapegoats after leaving their relatives or families thinks of a better world for themselves wherein the people around them lived with their fixed mindset throughout their lives brainwashing the victim saying you are like that and will remain like that only.

[@darnagutter9645]

"Vengence is mine, saith the Lord. I will repay." One might actually go no contact when possible as you would with narcissist.

[@carriesilvinaespinozavilla5177]

Narcissism is the practice of scapegoating.

[@foodbutter225]

I love how he explained scapegoating in the micro and macro level

[@umchinagirard1800]

He’s brilliant and deserves a huge PEACE AWARD what an amazing man

[@ayseg253]

Very well explained and enlightening. Important stuff. I was seriously scapegoated by my family. Always appreciate good information on this topic. Thank you

[@domif.b.7657]

How often do we hear that it is unnatural to be alone, as a human being. We're supposed to be group/herd 'animals'...I've never been a fan of groups since I can't remember any where the typical group dynamics didn't take place.

[@thewolf14]

I call them the knuckle draggers. Not exactly the cream of our crop. Bullies are delusional in that they create a false reality.

[@bandieboo8102]

I am starting to agree... been feeling bad because I don't want to be around the muck...but I am getting to the point where everytime is a drain....never used to feel like this....guess self preservation is kicking in

[@lesriley2062]

@@bandieboo8102 really feels out of body .

[@henryrobinson3820]

Arthur Coleman does a superb job of defining, exploring, concluding a very real subject without fear,

[@gailwilliams3968]

I love your talk very uplifting. I feel we have to stop treating so call family like they so Precious .Period

[@palmamingozzi5736]

This is one of the best lectures I have ever listened to it makes so much sense. Thank you for your intelligence.

[@Sanela1]

Scapegoating is Cluster B's Hallmark (and just one of their psychopathic traits) !... Dr Arthur Colman sounds like he met BPD's and ASPD's (NPD's are more complex and hard to get to a Psychiatric evaluation due to their excellency in Gaslighting technique, which makes them closer to what's now known as : Pro-Social Psychopathy.. however bizzare it might sound, check James H Fallons exceptional form of it..)

[@perocomopuede]

I hear him saying scapegoating is COMMON human behavior, which actually makes a lot more sense to me than pathologizing it. I am not making light of the behavior. I think it is terrible. However, understanding it means being able to accept that maybe this is just the way the human brain works - for most people.

[@christopheroptimusprime2631]

I don't want revenge I just want time to hurry up and go by so I can watch them slowly die of an agonizing slow eating cancer and even if I don't get to see it but I know God is going to give it to him because they deserve it

[@MrsPearlcrow]

There’s much on why creative, smart and sensitive/empathetic people are being scapegoated. The people in power don’t want stability in society, they want people to kill each other in stead of going after them (the 1% superrich and their bloodlines). So they made people that will not think for themselves and be apart if a herd that follows and obey (groupthinking). Actually it’s very simple when you look into how society is created, follow the money and powerstructure. You don’t get a management job if you have empathy, because you have to make decisions that will not be good for the workerbee’s but for the top. Google Mk ultra and you’ll see how people were being experimented on, like in cults and religion.. how detachment parenting (Spock ect) was promoted made a huge impact on the development of the infants. Look at how many people have narcissistic and manipulative traits. I think of scapegoats in a different way then I used to. I thought there was something wrong with me after escaping narc fam abuse, but it’s the other way around.

[@angelforfreedom]

I’m not even in contact with more than 95% of my entire family, and I live more than 2 to 3 municipalities away from the majority of them...and they STILL, for whatever reason, scapegoat me. Wtf?!! 🙄

[@angecynthia347]

How??? Do you even know them??? To me they are strangers..what can strangers do to me???nothing

[@auramdickerson112]

Yesterday I witnessed a group of Turkeys. The Alpha Tom was bullying a younger one out of the group as the group chirped loudly making distressed sounds. Shortly after the Turkey Buzzards flew in hunting Turkeys. The Alpha had been choosing which one to feed to the buzzards. The healthiest strongest youth that would grow up to be competition over breeding rights was the scapegoat. If you got scapegoated, your parent knew you were the strongest and smartest of your siblings. That's why the golden child got college and you got abused. The golden child is not smart enough without college.

[@lauralemontree26]

Wow! This is amazing! And actually makes soooooo much sense! Wow

[@christar9527]

I was the strongest and smartest. They did know. I see it now that you mentioned it. My less intelligent, Golden child younger sister was sent to college by my malignant narcissist father and he wouldn’t pay for me to go. I went anyway and went onto graduate school at Columbia University. My sisters were always trying to emulate what I did. Funny.

[@Coach.Kallista]

Interesting - I thought I was scapegoated as I was the youngest (4 brothers) and female. The golden child only finished highschool and then stopped, took over dad's business, so his way was paved. My dad provided Uni for the 3 of us that applied & got in. My IQ is up there, and I was abused by all of them. Exiled.

[@umchinagirard1800]

Yes it’s biologically jealous protection to breed and dominate they kill their own it’s competitive

[@lilwinged5291]

This confirms my theory in addition to jezzabel her character.. The spirit of and she sacrificed children. Narcissism is definitely considered to be a possession of a jezzabel spirit including me ..starts at the point of deep rejection.

[@lisarochwarg4707]

No scapegoats means no families. Families need scapegoats to survive.

[@umchinagirard1800]

Wow?? Really ? We are doomed and interesting?

[@Levandetag]

10 times a day, the same message.... nags away all that is good. This is such a good listening, with a great deal of laughters which is so healing

[@Jartza82]

Human groups act the same way everywhere.

[@sarahfern7128]

I watched my son's elementary school teachers enable and condone bullying. They were so focused on having everyone conform to their norms, that they ridiculed anyone who was different, and they practically taught the kids to bully. When bullying is addressed in middle school, it's already too late.

[@wordswordswords.5422]

I still don't get what you are supposed to do if you're a scapegoat. I liked how he ended it though with the earth and the animals.. so VERY true. I have always hated people and would be glad to see them wiped out. We don't deserve this beautiful earth and all it's beautiful animals.

[@almalee1885]

Scapegoats sometimes have to move away from the biological family and do some program: ACOA is a good one

[@maddyp.w.6326]

NO CONTACT. NONE.

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

Thank you for this. I don’t know how this will influence my thoughts, but it seems to be in agreement with my message.

[@writer1986]

During this COVID-19 pandemic, racism and hatred is occurring throughout the world. Groups of people are being targeted, blamed, and hurt for “spreading the virus.” Scapegoating for sure, and it’s so sad to witness.

[@umchinagirard1800]

I’m surprised bigger scapegoat wasn’t on there

[@FerretMother]

Scapegoats unite!

[@ozzyoz5210]

I listen to this channel quite often, your description is awesome

[@HairbyNardia]

Wow that is so deep and has me thinking on a different level!

[@Lyrielonwind]

Picasso is a bad example as a scapegoat since he was a perverse narcissist; all women who got involved with him were abused and at least one committed suicide. Picasso is a good example of a narcissist with a sore wound no matter how bad was he treated and denounced Franco's dictatorship, it wasn't the whole country who "hurt" his ego. Thousands were dying and getting kill but I understand he never came back; he was safer in France and more admired. Don't forget that dictators always goes for the intellectuals and artists are rebels but, still, he was not an empathetic soul; especially with his women. Same with Rodin.

[@umchinagirard1800]

Lots of big famous narcissists are also scapegoat in media … it’s same mechanism

[@angeleyes7401]

I would say Picasso was a psychopath

[@Lily59265]

TY TY He really explains this concept well w/ psychological background & great real life examples

[@anotherdroid493]

Thank you for such an engaging talk.

[@lesliemontagne6797]

Please explain to me, as an empath (which most scapegoats are), how revenge settles ANYTHING in this kind of a twisted life. If we are to save ourselves, why the weight of revenge? Why divert what little positive energy flow we have to not only people who don’t deserve one minute of our time, but also to a low, low life path?

[@joecorr1853]

I agree. I don't have time for revenge and I don't want it. I just want to be left alone.

[@faridaashu5505]

This is a way more viable and analytical explanation of estrangement between individuals and social groups. I appreciate psychologists explanations with things like "personality disorders". However, an entire social group can't have personality disorders and scapegoat one person. Being an oddity and not belonging as the reason a person is scapegoated makes more sense to me. It highlights a fundamental truth about humans; we reject what we don't know or understand.

[@cpc4466]

This would be true if only rejecting the indifference, but projection, gaslighting, etc of Scapegoating happens mainly because one of with power in the group decided to pinpoint a more non confrontational member as the root of all problems and the rest of the group will follow leade either fear of being attacked too, or just straight out finding it easy to just believe the lies so all good we figured out why we are in pain.

[@faridaashu5505]

@@cpc4466 I agree but don't you think it's because that's naturally how power dynamics in social groups work? Take a look at the cancel culture dominant these days. It's pretty much the same principle. A "leader" many look up to pinpoints to someone and attacks. The followers follow suit irrespective of the person's truth. Some gaslight. Some unfollow. Some smear campaign. This is the nature of power dynamics. The most influential in a group determines how the pack behaves. It isn't any different in family dynamics. Discrimination is a fundamental human flaw. It simply manifests in different contexts due to the dynamics and sociology of the context. I'm a scapegoat too by the way. I felt this made more sense to me because it clearly highlights the truth that discrimination is a fundamental human flaw. It's an explanation that works for me.

[@faridaashu5505]

@regular dude wow. Okay. Is it possible that my understanding of it is different due my background and demography? Is there even the minutest possibility to you that the context and my coping mechanisms, are different from yours as such my understanding of it is different? Unless of course, if you're implying that your understanding is the universal understanding and definition of it, as such, the ONLY plausible explanation for it. Then it would be a fascinating phenomenon, one worthy of psychological study. Please do let me know😊.

[@faridaashu5505]

@@paulinerebel845 for the record, I am a scapegoat and have experienced the worse of being the outside person. Everything you describe was my experience. From the responses I'm getting to this comment, once again, we dealt with it differently. And for you to read my comment as me not empathising with scapegoats, tells me you're expecting a comment that speaks to the trauma scapegoats have faced. The video is an academic analysis of the concept of scapegoats. It doesn't speak about the pains and horrors of being a scapegoat. I responded because analytically, I agreed with it. If I made this same comment in a video that spoke to the trauma of scapegoats, I think its fair of you to say I didn't empathise. I went into the video seeking an ontological explanation of the concept of scapegoats and I got it. My comment was my analytical opinion. So as much as you seem to think I'm incapable of empathising with scapegoats, my comment was in response to the ontology of scapegoats not their traumas. Peace be unto you.

[@faridaashu5505]

@@paulinerebel845 🙂. "Being an oddity and not belonging as the reason a person is scapegoated makes more sense to me. It highlights a fundamental truth about humans; we reject what we don't know or understand." I think this part of comment speaks to it doesn't it? Then again, if you really were curious you would have made that connection I guess?

[@WatersBreedlove]

"Artist as Scapegoat" yup.

[@filthyfilter2798]

u think its wrong? :P

[@filthyfilter2798]

when artist becomes ok with himself he stops being an artist... Definition of an artist is a worried person!

[@thewolf14]

Youre a nutjob. The artists Ive known arent worried. But they worry sheep.

[@loriprice425]

I’ve been scapegoated my entire life. My stuck up privileged step mother still wants to keep me in that role and it follows me. She undermined my authority with my children and even now I have had people in my life feel the need to punish me, I had a friend even ask me why does she feel like she needs to scold me. I can move half way across the country and still have to carry that role. I am so furious depressed and suffering . I’m 52 years old and still can’t get out of this role. All I want is for my step mom to acknowledge how wrong she was. She never had to work, she spent all her days doing hobbies and things she enjoyed doing all while I carried all the burden. It has taken a huge toll on my health. My dad now has dementia but I think he finally sees how manipulated he was by this woman and how horribly wrong I was treated. But yet he can’t stand up for me. My older brother saw what was done to me and knew how wrong it was and I never blamed him for being the golden child. We never discussed it but he knew it was wrong. He passed away and that devastated me because he was the only one that recognized how unfair I was treated. How do I get past the rage!? How do I get my children to recognize I am not the person my step mother portrays me to be? How do I heal? Will I ever have days I don’t break down and cry? Will I ever have just one day in my life where I am not the total outcast? I really can’t take it anymore.

[@glorialane424]

Now we're getting to the part where you're older and you can't do those things no more nor do you really want to. Because you never did. I feel a lot of scapegoats are a little too accepting and too kind and take mistreatment that a lot of people don't so they see really bad treatment that most people don't because they're not so accepting it's a virtue but it's also what makes them the scapegoat isn't it I don't know we'll see.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

Interesting. My family scapegoated me and I have brought that with me subconsciously in to the workplace and in to my extended family. A woman at work set out to exclude me and had success as well. She not only ignored me like I was a ghost but implemented a lot of microaggressions such as talking very quietly to mutual friendly colleagues and then expressing shock and surprise like I had done something very inappropriate if I could hear. She only EVER acknowledged my existence to correct me or insinuate I had been harsh or inappropriate in some way. I am not like that. She left work luckily and the atmosphere improved instantly, it's more inclusive now. Interestingly my own cousin does exactly the same thing. TEXT BOOK photocopy of this scapegoating behavior. She love bombs everybody else but ices me and enjoys it. Luckily I feel a lot more aware of what's going on this time around so I'm not taking it personally. I don't want to be the lightening rod/scapegoat for my cousin's inadequacies and insecurities but it's hard to know how to handle it without being ''reactionary'' which she would love.

[@carriesilvinaespinozavilla5177]

Wow Susan C. It's like you and I are existing in the same exact realm, like a parallel universe. A woman at my work came in early 2016 and constantly chronically filed complaints saying I was " innapropriate" to "abusive" etc. She was put on a 72 hour option to leave, left Oct 16, 2020. It was so bizarre because she would tell me thank you for all my work and all I did but at the same time be writting up a scathing professional reprimand. This woman accused me of everything from violating FERPA to racism. Then why have me TRAINING every single hourly and staffer on not only FERPA but every office protocol? It's pure envy and pathological Narcissism. It's like whatever parent she struggled with she suffered from transference, projecting her past familial relationship issues on me. All her focus was on me, while a notorious office malingerer was uplifted and used as an instrument to claim I was abusive. I worked incredible hours to cover for her and no matter what the load I performed I was demeaned and demoralized and accused of being the malingerer!. She was 20 years younger and couldnt stand the fact I knew more than her. One time she commented disparagingly, " You dont need me for anything". I said, " Of course not, if I dont know my job after 15 years then I should be fired ". She just looked at me with her eyes wide open. She just had to find me guilty of something so she could vent her frustrations on me. It was like living with my mother all over again. Really twisted.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

@@carriesilvinaespinozavilla5177 Wow, the woman who did this to me was also about 15 years younger than me approx. I don' t know if that's just a coincidence, but I think part of the reason she hated was me was that I dared to try and ''join in'' at my age. She had a lot of internalised misogyny going on. I am 50 now, so not young I know but when I was that woman's age, I was living abroad, in another city, and I am fluent in two languages. I am a single parent though and she saw me not as a hardworking survivor but as low status, *but* .... I had my own house while she lived with her parents at 32 ish. There was a lot of conflict going on inside her which she made me responsible for! It was a nightmare! Luckily, she is gone. My cousin still persists........... I am luckily beginning to feel stronger in the face of being iced by her. Like it's not the kryptonite it once was. I stay centred. I don't wither. Which is all you can do as they are just salivating waiting for a good ol' reaction from you that they can sneer at. Has it happened to you a few times as well? Do you feel that it gets less extreme each time? Have you any tactics?? I think, that although I would feeeeel this less if it happens again, I will nip it in the bud earlier if it looks like it's going to happen again. I may use the shine a light on it tactic. ''Regina, I feel like you're so warm to everybody else and yet so cold to me. Is that your intention?!'' and just put the person on notice that I have a backbone. I bent with the wind too easily in the past. I'm not ''rising above'' it next time as rising above it signals to these covert scapegoating narcs that you have no backbone. Nice to hear from you and I hope you find the answers! I actually do really love women and the company of women, I want to 'lift as I rise' and I know that the number of women who carry on like this is a small percentage. They just find me with alarming regularity! Happy New Year, Susan xxx

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

@@carriesilvinaespinozavilla5177 ps working my way through john bradshaw books which I have found kind of helpful to me understanding the vulnerabilities in me that I don't see but that others capitalise on. Also, Joseph burgo's book about defense mechanisms was interesting to me. People who totally lack self awareness really are a SCOURGE

[@lauralemontree26]

Mmmm yea, it occurs to me reading a few of these that myb they sense something about is i.e that we have more awareness/ conciousness or something & that = a threat bc we cannot be as easily fooled: manipulated like the others, & so they hate us for it. Thoughts? 🤔

[@soniajoy3727]

Thanks for the info sir

[@jeffinetlyjeffbi9770]

My parents: let's shave a goat teach it to walk backwards and call it jeff... that goat don't listen and won't conform get rid of it' .

[@glorialane424]

You're going into my childhood. I haven't even let or watch the whole thing. However it's starting to happen to my daughter I want to know how to help her in ways that my mother didn't nor the system. I realize now I was bullied for things I want true. Now she is too and it's hurting her feelings. Although I tell her they're not true.

[@llm8268]

The fact that you are supporting her and letting her know it’s not true is everything.

[@anatta467]

"IP" or Identified Patient is another term used in psychology for anyone interested in more research. May you all be well and happy.

[@juneelle370]

Yes and governments/institutions do this as well with weaponized diagnosis against anyone who goes against their agenda/propaganda. I‘lol never forget all the “experts” (sellouts) rolled out on mainstream media calling Edward Snowden a narcissist when he was/is a great hero.

[@sharonnugent408]

My children have sent me to the wilderness and to them I am dead due to being an alienated parent. My agony is unbearable. Yet they have no remorse or concern for me

[@lesliemontagne6797]

Same here. We cannot control any of this…. Try to let go, have self compassion and rebuild.

[@annia474]

@@lesliemontagne6797 yes, it is worth it

[@avlivinggolden]

Reflect.

[@changdeshi8828]

Brilliant and interesting humanity and earth need this, as nothing has paralysed human intelligence more than the search for scapegoats. Wish astrophysicist Brian Cox would watch this. Need huge awareness of the damage of the learned psychological behaviour of scapegoating... and then to unlearn it will result in an evolutionary epochal shift. Grateful to find this and Dr. Scapegoat.

[@hollysailor9158]

Chang Deshi Hi

[@TheEmadia]

+Ken Richard these funny psychiatric words...

[@user-vp7kn3js4x]

Me too 😪 I loved my family of origin so much. Woke up to the truth 4yrs ago. Alone but stronger...will it hurt forever?

[@guesswho5790]

This was absolutely brilliant!!! One of the best talks I've seen yet. Thank you so much for sharing!!

[@thewolf14]

Says the psychopath.

[@annehinde719]

Julian Assange is the latest scapegoat Chelsea Manning as well.

[@umchinagirard1800]

Now Prince Harry and Britney

[@gloria2fly850]

I literally tried to do as Jesus would as much as possible. I later in life started to see it as he just said. I still have my faith. However I understand how my beliefs were literally my hugest vulnerability. It was my beliefs so how was one to change a core belief others exploit? Well its hard but possible. I still have my beliefs however I understand now I do not have to take it nor flee or fight back. I can just keep building and hope they get board as my system didn't listen back log had something to do with it. Now I have so many issues myself those whom did things I'd for sure go to prison for probably will get away with it. Iv come to accept it and my revenge is not allowing it to do as its designed and thats to destroy me never able to recover. Doesn't sound like revenge or justice because its not to the one its done to. However those who scapegoated especially the one stearing the wheel ill say will feel it like it was. All we can do sometimes is decide to be the villain in a individuals or groups story if it helps them sleep at night. Choosing to take on everything refusing to break completely by finding compassion within ourselves allowing it as we come to see maybe its not a bad thing not to belong to that person or group. So we can find those whom are similar heal and go on to maybe help others. Because even a few others compassion and acts of real kindness can make all the difference to someone who has or is experiencing it.

[@voicebistro2726]

This was a beautiful talk. Thank you.

[@zwatwashdc]

For those who are interested and don't know already, the original theory come from Rene Girard.

[@umchinagirard1800]

Girard Horsed around and never talks about family scapegoating stuff

[@misstery5942]

I WAS CURSED FROM BIRTH ... I AM CRRTAIN OF IT

[@ellemonettef7200]

Same

[@glorialane424]

I understand the obsession as I also I'm now obsessed with it.

[@annia474]

I got treatment, rebuilt myself, but go no contact with my family, including my son....

[@umchinagirard1800]

Brilliant information

[@angeleyes7401]

Family scapegoat here… they blamed and blamed until they could no more. They threatened that I should leave at 18 if I didn’t like ‘the rules’. And I did. They put a lock on my bedroom door and blocked my bank account so I didn’t have access… AS IF I WOULD EVER GO BACK! I opened a new account and never went back crawling… this definitely disrupted the balance in that dysfunctional circus. It’s unreal how many years have passed and they’ll still try and take a stab, so pitiful.

[@marydietterich5968]

Finally figured it out

[@janethomas78]

Dr Wayne Dyer says, "Always live as if you don't have a past!"

[@CristinaAcosta]

Love your analogy re climate abuse and animal extinction as a result of sapiens’ scapegoating. Unique thought

[@umchinagirard1800]

His great articles were on his websites and amazing

[@johnrutledge8181]

Could this knowledge be applied to the personalities and behaviors of countries like China.

[@ahmesceanga6382]

He was lucky he wasn't sent to a psychiatrist as a child for antisocial behavior. He would be put on drugs and maybe even get his health destroyed by them. Psychiatric abuse may be worse than most scapegoating.

[@jo-annahicks3324]

Humble and Brilliant........

[@tricianindel7909]

Yeah, SURE.

[@Parasuniversal]

Cameraman be like ... who you wearing?

[@TheLichie09]

fkn amen brother

[@smileitsjustagame2937]

Very interesting.

[@ivey9916]

And the goat shall bear upon him all their iniquities unto a land not inhabited: and he shall let go the goat in the wilderness. Leviticus 16:22

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

“Why” has been my life-long question.

[@sharonnugent408]

Jesus is a scapegoat voluntarily. Yet my children want me to be their scapegoat

[@LisaS1]

I was just looking at an online photo from I guess it was posted a few years ago and I made a comment (to my family of origin members) saying "How come you all never mention me coming to visit?" and one of the in-laws who married into my family, he goes "No Drama" and none of them made any other comments about my comment (question). I tell you it really hurts to be the family scapegoat especially when there's no reason or no good reason. These people think they are so special and there's nothing special about them at all. If they would of been a loving, welcoming family to me, sure then I'd consider them special. All the cruel online remarks and personal actions especially over the past 21 years is like an open sore festering on me. One of them sent this birthday message post for me to my son's social media site and I deleted it. She has me blocked or I could of deleted it from my account. Sometimes I really do think I hate all of them.

[@gabrielasoutom]

There is never "good reason" for scapegoating someone

[@LisaS1]

About the birthday message - I wonder why I typed this as I've no memory of this at all. I'm very confused. I don't recall ever getting any birthday message from any of them. This is weird.

[@LisaS1]

@@gabrielasoutom Sorry Gabriela I been meaning to get back to you. Thanks for the message. I think all of them don't even get that they have scapegoated me. And I know they don't care either way!

[@sideswiped6874]

for the most of it Robertson Caruso was pretty much a lucky guy to be on that island with only one other person

[@justice8563]

The videos about Scapegoating are informative but no one ever addresses why does this happen, is it based on a pure evilness in a spiritual sense?

[@signes2018]

Thats me. Denmarks scandale and scapegoat do to “ my parents”. Abused to death.

[@ConanDuke]

Yep

[@jenniferkincaid]

Jesus is not the archetypal scapegoat here… In the biblical story Mary Magdalene is the archetypal scapegoat because even though she was blessed by the apparent prophet… She was still condemned by Jesus and was never redeemed. The patriarchy will never allow women free will. As long as men cannot bear children the patriarchy will always require women to be chattel vessels.

[@umchinagirard1800]

Sick 😷 of patriarchy and it’s arrogance

[@Grace4ever22]

I'd rather READ this talk, somehow I'm having trouble following his pauses and voice changes

[@MrsPearlcrow]

That’s why he’s allowed to speak about this subjects but there’s a lot more good info on the subject involving the structures of society, the purpose of cults, religion. Parental education books that promoted detachment parenting ect..

[@SaraFJones]

Grace22 you’re too intelligent I suppose

[@tricianindel7909]

He is a CREEP. That is what is bothering you. He seems just like what he describes. Creep factor THRU THE ROOF.

[@Grace4ever22]

@@tricianindel7909 wow really🤔😱

[@tricianindel7909]

@@Grace4ever22 Wow, what? Can you write beyond a syllable. I don't speak in fragments. Please don't make a statement if you are not able to even write correctly. OK.

[@beefjerkyinmymouth]

Heisenberg?

[@L7Fx]

spoken like a scapegoat......... scapegoats bring it on themselves. I cant even begin to explain why but its true.

[@cathryndeyn9]

They do? How exactly does a newborn baby 'bring it on him/herself?' What a strange thing to believe.

[@L7Fx]

@@cathryndeyn9 because baby’s are extremely annoying and act like helpless victims that don’t stick up for themselves. checks out perfectly for me

[@natatattful]

@@L7Fx woah bro you’re so edgy

[@jennh.9325]

When your dad takes out a life insurance policy on you & puts you in the gangstalking program...

[@crystalnewman2937]

Me too. I was just scapegoated and discarded by all my social networks. It hurts. Consequence of not joining.

[@crystalnewman2937]

I worked so hard to be liked just to be cancelled anyways.

[@nancynizar6278]

Interesting talk but I feel like he generalized everything by classifying it under scapegoating. What about greed? Arrogance? There's so much more

[@natatattful]

The talk is about scapegoating. It is a process, not a generalization. It’s a complex process, sure it could involve greed and arrogance, but scapegoating is what we’re talking about here.

[@CosmicLogosInc.]

🔥⚖️🔥

[@hannahbrown2162]

I don't see Obama as a scapegoat. He was loved by many including and especially the general media.

[@Lyrielonwind]

I don't see Picasso as scapegoat; he was a narcissist who abused all women he involved with. He crashed them.

[@leaninglloyd7052]

Amen ,,,,he was THE GOLDEN CHILD !!! Scapegoat most definitely not .

[@ThomasDoubting5]

I'd never want to be part of thier lie

[@timothylines3867]

what if your bipolor also.?

[@Linda30189]

Narcissistic targets are often misdiagnosed as biopolar from the trama.

[@misstery5942]

I think I have borderline personality and I believe if people lived in my shoes a kid they would likely have it too. My entire family knew and walked away and left me there time and time again and they supported my mother out of loyalty to her

[@crystalnewman2937]

That shouldnt be excuse to scapegoat someone.

[@janethomas78]

JFK was Catholic and not masonic.

[@zeph537]

2 mins in and still hasn't said anything....

[@adolfwong4663]

lol you're such a funny troll

[@mitchrijkaard6757]

Adolf Wong Great words, right?

[@vincentmack37]

You need to turn on sound to hear the words, then you need to identify the groups of words to form the sentences. Google English language if you having difficulty with this.

[@marshamcdonald1475]

Random: one of best description of bullying and Scapegoating. Sorry you don’t Get it.

[@zeph537]

@@marshamcdonald1475 my time is precious to me

[@lesliemontagne6797]

Yea, children and my spouse. I had to leave.

[@karendalsadik7119]

He had a moose.

[@Samantha1lady2gotic]

A L I A D O

[@denisetindell6122]

You lost me when you called Obama a scapegoat .. that’s warped comedy and unsound mind all in one .. I’m done here …leaving as quick as I came in…

[@Londonre5]

It’s because he had so many death, threats bullied in the media and behind the scenes

[@Fefe559]

ok whats with the camera man, checking out his shoes? lol

[@vilearninglife4723]

The national scapegoats - Indian Bahus 😂

[@whereisyourhumanity7557]

Yep. Go apesh*t crazy. Screw that fight fair stuff- this ain't the Olympics.

[@jodyjooste8360]

hey am jody and hwant to work hwit u al so det i kent leren mor a bt live

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

Absofreakinlutely

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

I often think that small men and large women have much in common. Neither are socially accepted through no fault of their own.

[@ddowns24]

While "scapegoating" is a very important subject, this speech should really be titled "The Psychology of Victimhood". This guy is serious, when he talks about "going for the eyes and genitals". ...Yet, the audience laughs, and thinks they're laughing with him. He goes on to compare himself to Jesus, JFK, Obama, and Gandhi. ...It's pretty clear where this dude is coming from. Safe to say he's not a Trump voter.

[@tyunbv762qpl6]

I like em old (people reading the coms be like wuuuuuut?)

[@tyunbv762qpl6]

Yeah yeah the catcher in the rye, still I'm not called caulfield and I don't plan on shooting kanye west. Idiots.

[@tyunbv762qpl6]

Still not a sadist. I want to be determined and good-willed.

[@tyunbv762qpl6]

Some people should know that talking ill about someone doesn't mean we want to kill them. We just know we are being watched.

[@tyunbv762qpl6]

Foucault was smart. Not him. "Tête bien faîte > tête bien pleine". Cependant, les deux c'est le mieux.

[@psycologic4190]

weak analysis

[@kimvannote5024]

Agree

[@thewolf14]

Where is his evidence.

[@drippinwet774]

agreed.

[@mariabeata]

Let's send him out into the wilderness

[@mikarosenberg608]

There are ONLY VICTIMS YUO MORAN

[@carmenpeters728]

Mika Rosenberg The correct spelling is m o r o n. I won't make the obvious remarks.