Why you feel what you feel | Alan Watkins | TEDxOxford

[@widgeasha]

He is right. Nobody has to feel anything they don't want to. I spent my whole life miserable until I decided to be happy everyday. I forced myself to smile and think happiness till its become a habit and now I live it for real. He's right, no one comes and injects you, you choose how to feel. Took me to age 47 to realise this and now I have freedom.

[@yanli1811]

Happy for you. But how can you make it? I tried to be happy, but I failed. Sometimes bad feelings just surround you all the time.

[@vithyamuthusamy8114]

Pls can you guide on the below question...i am having same issue

[@noble-thoughts]

​@@yanli1811 You need to work with your negative subconscious beliefs. They are the underlying cause of your feelings.

[@perfect_chaos4217]

@@yanli1811 smile from ear to ear and envision. It really helps .

[@atacomunicacioncorp]

​@@vithyamuthusamy8114Acknolwdge the sadness when it comes. Say hello to it and the add 'please don't disturb me now, see you some other time', and then you make the effort of focusing your mind on something else that makes you happy or on the beauty of life, outside yourself'. Aknoledgement and acceptance is key

[@MC-pg2ko]

I agree with Alan Watkins: you create your own feelings by how you think. Even so, I can't help feeling disappointed in my awareness that my siblings don't keep in touch with me, even if I keep in touch with them. It feels one-sided and I can't help feeling that they don't care for me as much as I do for them. I have accepted that its their choice but it nonetheless saddens me.

[@sophbox1873]

Alan's talk addresses the first steps of how to respond to difficult emotions. But a key point he misses - and it seems to be one he doesn't subscribe to - is allowing the emotion just to be there. We can't control what we feel. Difficult emotions are an inevitable part of life. But we can learn to respond to our emotions in ways that enhance rather than diminish our well-being. For me, the key stages are: noticing what it is that you're feeling and getting distance from it by labeling the emotion ('oh, that's anger - I'm feeling anger') or by finding where it's located in your body and describing the sensations to yourself. Then, just allow the emotion to be there. You're allowed to be scared, angry, upset, hurt etc -- and while often they may feel unpleasant, they add to the color of life (and in my mind are much preferable to just a permanent numbness). Having accepted that you are currently experiencing the particular emotion, you can ask yourself what you need in that moment to look after yourself and choose how to respond to it in a way that is in line with your values.

[@sex7556]

Great! Thank you!

[@markhammond7060]

I completely agree.. a well thought out and cogent observation..

[@christinarobohm6920]

Im.glad I read your comment before listening

[@tc8993]

Fantastic comment. I agree completely. Thank you.

[@PadmaMehendale-ge9zj]

Yes I experience panic attacks and I feel that being with it is what I have to learn

[@emmanottingham6233]

Love the bit where he says if you're lucky you will have a painful experience which will make you question everything. How true!

[@ThOperator]

Without the depression I would never start on the 'self help journey' and I would never have the life I have now. :)

[@flyingdeepak2629]

Long term depression is a nuroplasticity, not a depression actually.

[@ncamisilengcongca]

When my carelessly chosen career sucked the life out of me I reached this point, I’m so grateful I’ve paused and been reaching inside of myself to create my own compass 🧭 to the life that’s fulfilling, still working on it but I feel so alive!

[@ErinMitchell-ml4vl]

VEEY TRUE... Five years late with my comment😁

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

The highs are only appreciated after the lows

[@judgescompilations3842]

Normally I make a summary for other people so they don’t have to watch the whole video. But this, you just need to watch. It is amazing

[@MadelinePierce-p9y]

The cutest part is when he called out his son!

[@pagusmusic6254]

Emotional intelligence and mastery is the key to happiness, but it’s easier said than done

[@berylcomar]

NLP courses can teach you how

[@butterfly-ps5uj]

I had the "disease of meaning" at the age of 11...up till now, I'm still searching the meaning, but I think for me it is gratitude...this is the only thing that makes sense to me in this world

[@JUSTAMANIV]

Gratitude has been been a major guide on my journey as well.

[@eminem0404]

Jesus loves you so much

[@arjonrahman1444]

Maybe what you call a disease is exactly the way to cure, maybe that's the yearning of your heart for what it's meant for. Gratitude is a byproduct of finding meaning, but it, as a feeling/emotion/action, doesn't define The Truth itself, right? I, as a stranger, genuinely hope for you one thing. That for once, you shed off what you have "learnt" and accepted as norms and "meaning" and then question yourself- Who was it that put you on this train called life, since it wasn't you who created yourself; and where is the "train" headed? And what is the purpose of this journey? What is the best way to live in accordance with the purpose of this journey? I have found my answers in Islam, although I have thought of this religion as a terrorist/barbaric ideology for quite a while. But it has proved to be the most beautiful gem I have come across in my life! Trust me, you should read the Quran (a translation) and give it a proper and deep thought. I pray God grants you the sincerity and shows you the way back to Him, your Nearest One!

[@YoDawg-n5t]

@@eminem0404 Stop peeking in the guy's bedroom.

[@leahswenson7776]

This is hands down the most important thing you could ever learn in life.

[@briciuana-maria9861]

A really engaging TEDx talk. But there are some things I can't agree with. I don't have a scientific background, but for sure I've been studying about this. Yes, objectify the emotion and realize you are not your emotion and you just feel it at the moment. Controlling your emotions might be a bit misunderstood. Controlling your emotions doesn't mean you are a ray of sunshine 24/7. Controlling your emotions mean that you know you own your emotions and they don't own you. It means that you can surf between them and know you are responsible for what you feel. So, if you feel anger, you feel depressed, you feel livid, you don't run away from that feeling and try to layer it with a so-called ''good feeling''. You just feel it and you know it will pass and you don't identify with it. We can't feel selectively.

[@paraskevi1742]

So beautiful words!😍💖

[@personal_finance_au]

I think he's selling an app

[@prashantkolhe4432]

you have put emotion explanation in very simple and understanding language for us(like common people)

[@pahanapahana]

I think what he is pointing out here is very profound. One has a choice to make when confronted with a situation that can make one angry. If one makes that choice, that person has to undergo all the unsatisfactoriness or the suffering that comes with it. Instead, if that person chooses something else and wants to move to a different planet that is ‘happy’, that person can overcome that suffering - and it is only that person who could do this and no one else. For example, if your mind is conditioned with good will with compassion and kindness, and you have this as an antibody within you, you can easily find reasons not to let anger take over you. You choose to ‘let go’ using the antibody you have developed through practice by an inner realisation of its value and goodness (ie letting-go of anger through ‘good will’ nourished with compassion and kindness) which then becomes the mechanism by which one moves from one planet to another. In fact, in my opinion, the Buddha’s doctrine of moving to a sublime state of happiness called Nibbana seems to harmonises so well with Dr Wilson’s articulation. In other words, your happiness depends on you and no one else! Seems surprising but the logic appeals to me very much.

[@maryannmd8331]

@@personal_finance_au read a little bit what is sais about him ..under de video. He is a worldwide recognized leadership coach . He wrote books ...he is very successful . He doesn't need money from that particular app. :)

[@vitalisfonsah1146]

I don't know why I haven't been looking for such videos on TEDx. this is like the foundation I needed. this should be taught in schools every year.

[@bkaczmarski]

I used to show his videos on the first day of class

[@mindbodyrelaxation6828]

To everyone who is experiencing a difficult situation: To shoot an arrow you have to pull it backwards. So when life drags you back with some troubles, it means it's going to launch into something better.

[@heldelmer8765]

Into something, to kill it with your help.

[@mindbodyrelaxation6828]

@@heldelmer8765 Seriously?

[@ravenspace]

Only extending your metaphor..rather hilariously 😜😆😆😆

[@ravenspace]

Ok there is the punctuation, and spelling problems. 'Into something, to kill *it*, with your help.' Its a specially good joke if English is not their first language. 👍👍👍

[@heldelmer8765]

@@ravenspace it's not ahah

[@nonelost1]

18:15 "So You really don't have to feel anything that you don't want to feel. Misery is optional". WOW! The ramifications of that statement are cataclysmically profound!

[@orenzeshani]

This talk started for me what is probably the most substantial transformation of my life.

[@Pauseitivityinaction]

I have been following Dr Alan Watkins work since last year when I watched his TEDx Portsmouth - Being brilliant everyday. I love his sense of humour, his ability to take a very complex topic and bring it into language that people can easily understand ... I just love his energy and passion for this topic. I think he is 'brilliant' and love that he is helping us all to be 'brilliant every day'. Another great lesson, thank you.

[@0230Raveena]

Though this talk is older, the core tenants remain the same. I'm at a transitional phase where I've felt a range of emotions but instead of feeling alive because of them, I've felt like I'm slowing dying inside. But I am convinced that the best of me is ahead. Thank You for Sharing.

[@sheejayacob6167]

Bless you

[@cheekychei4172]

The first step is to recognize where you are, what you feel, and then you’ll know what to do next. The best ted talk ever! This changes the whole game, for everything you need in life. I can honestly say this is the very first principle to apply in any situation. Without this practice you can’t do or apply what other Ted talks or books or psychologists will ever teach you. No wonder why we live in the a world of sadness and confusion, we don’t even understand the most basic tool for our existence, and that is mastering our emotions.

[@randomthings8376]

The first step is to recognize where you are, what you feel, and then you’ll know what to do next. Doesn't this serve to a temporary purpose and not for your main/higher purpose? to explain it more; lets say that the next thing to do that i knew after answering my first question was to : Talk with your friend. But does knowing that answer, eat healthy, serve me for my higher purpose?

[@ScotHarris-c2z]

Adapt, overcome & innovate our ego. Find our reaction and always pursue mastering the 8-11 year old adults precast concrete.

[@brooklyn8227]

No idea I'd get this much out of this particular ted talk. Bloody brilliant! He's just explained through "the disease of meaning" something thats been literally confusing my life for several years. My crisis and desire for meaning in my life isn't so bizarre after all.

[@LordyByron]

Dr Watkins doesn’t say much to justify the “why you feel what you feel” title. It is beliefs that underlie and drive emotions, and it is as difficult to actually change what you’re feeling as it is to change your beliefs.For (a simplistic) example, if one has a belief that sex before marriage is wrong, they will experience anxiety (on the fear spectrum) and self-recrimination (on the anger spectrum) if they indulge. If one believes sex before marriage is fine, no such emotions will occur, and in fact joy (happiness spectrum?) will likely occur when the relationships go well. He also lists 34,000 “feelings”- which are not feelings or emotions at all but self-images! He advocates fiddling with your self concept until you find one you like, but he gives no method to do so. Probably because there aren’t any ways of “control” that produce any benefit or are even possible. (Hyping up your image for romance at a bar might get you hooked up, but the benefits are usually dubious).To change your emotions involves investigating and challenging your beliefs, and most people value their beliefs too much to do this. We tend to identify with our beliefs and therefore take our consequent emotions seriously - which does lead to much suffering. There are plenty of good therapies available to deal with self-defeating beliefs, leading to much happier emotions/feelings. There is a another, simple way to deal with feelings that puts us perhaps more in charge of our lives: We become aware of the energy of emotions as sensations. These sensations can be pleasant, bringing relaxation and smiles to our faces, or unpleasant, perhaps flooding us with fight/flight energy, for example. Then comes a choice: We can simply let the emotion pass, which takes only a few seconds, or then mindfully label it as a feeling, which might take a few more seconds; and then have our attention be fully available for whatever life brings next, maybe even a desire to investigate the feeling if it is troublesome.We neither blame others for the emotions we may experience, nor “own” them, but are simply aware of them in the same ongoing way we are aware of any other sights, sounds, smells, or sensations. This is efficient, effective living, meeting life as awareness, without concern for self-image. It is effective when the ability to “let go” is there, the awareness that you are not your thoughts, feelings, or anything else you perceive.

[@kish2]

Thanks for the insight. Your third paragraph is a very good complement to what Alan Watkins is saying, actually in other videos he usually spends more time talking about the energy of emotion. However I've never seen/heard him talk about the choice mechanism, I've found that in other speakers and they say exactly the same thing as you : note that you are having the emotion but let it pass, just like another sound or smell that cannot actually hurt you. Of course if you feel a negative emotion after performing an action that goes against your beliefs (as in your first paragraph) the problem is different, but that would be another subject : how to live with the consequences of your choices.

[@LordyByron]

Thanks for the feedback, kish2. There's more about choice in my comments on youtube under Gary Weber post: predestination, control, free will and the illusion of time. I recently wrote on the illusory nature of free will but haven't posted it anywhere yet.

[@LunaLu-00]

Byron Varvarigos -- Excellent post! :)

[@eleynescobar9196]

You changed my life. Let's see what happens.

[@petermcewen4921]

Byron Varvarigos l

[@xKReATiONzHD]

This TED Talk helped me define this important, yet unanswered question : who do I want to become ? Where am I going ? This whole process is probably lifelong... anyways, made a little progress today ! Thank you sir.

[@HelenaIvanova]

I really love this wording on 11:30 of "Emotions are just energy and motion" this is actually so true! it made many puzzles in my head to fit together.. Thanks!

[@piratekingthethtaroo]

I'm quite convinced I had that kind of awakening at 14yo. I'm 15 now and I've grown much since then. It sure would have been difficult for my parents to deal with 14 yo me. There was just too much going on in my head. I now am in a much better state of mind, even if it took me a whole year. I have a clear picture of who I want to be and I'm consciously putting in effort to act and think according to my new and polished values. A significant portion of my development is caused by ted talks and I'm very grateful for that.

[@me-cherry]

All the best to you on the rest of your journey through life...✌️

[@piratekingthethtaroo]

@@me-cherry Thanks! You have a good life too!😁

[@barryalan4069]

I have used this strategy, and it has change my outlook and given me what I want.

[@VoltaireVI]

I watched almost the whole length of this talk with approval. But bullying is terrifying and nothing else it can be.

[@ratihmaulida4239]

He was speaking the truth, especially "Society is the bigger parents"

[@Trendsetic]

Best Ted talk most people will never take the time to watch.

[@sukhan9854]

Acceptance. Keeping a balance and not tipping into any strong [ positive or negative ] emotions. Feeling content and fulfilled. Grateful 🙏

[@emmanuelclaude9401]

Its 21st January 2023 exactly at 16:15 and I'm 5 minutes into the talk. Powerful!!!

[@bunnyflop3864]

This is a very good topic. Though as it was already mentioned in some comments, understanding what you are feeling at any given moment is just a beginning of this exciting adventure of understanding oneself, others and world. And of course, taking your own responsibility for your feelings and actions is very important to start with it, but next always should be an awareness of why these emotions emerge. Take a moment before responding to a trigger. Recognize the context, event and if our past is drawing conclusions; next recognize what is your body automatic response (eg. temperature rises, weakness in legs etc) and what your mind is projecting: what is the main (dominant, overpowering) emotion and what others are present; realize the whole process. Only then think what are your options to respond and choose that response, which will help you to achieve a goal (to be happy for example). Also, it is very important to recognize how other people are feeling, and ask them why (eg. Why are you angry?), followed by a mutually agreed solution. It really helps to understand what your actions mean to the other person, it helps them understand themselves better. Oh, and don´t forget to say goodbye to your expectations, as you completely forget to see the real person in front of you. I have started doing it only recently, but I am feeling so much better and much happier! So far, this is the best strategy I can come up with, hope it helps :)

[@amitapandey5187]

Best comment!! Really helpful don't know why people are not liking this valuable information in comment but let me tell you one thing at least one person that is I have read it carefully and going to save it for future until i can't recognize my emotions

[@bunnyflop3864]

@@amitapandey5187 Thank you so much Amita! I already forgot I have written this comment :) I must say I definitely did some progress on this journey, though there is still so much to learn. I also was able to get a much better glimpse at how I tick and my partner since I am in a current relationship. But without starting this internal work before it would not have happened. Wish you well! Hope that one day you will be very proud of yourself of how much have you improved :)

[@anastasijapilnikova5732]

Bravo! 💓💞🥰🙏with Practice, all The Stages of This Process become Automatic with Perfect Functionality: Congratulations For Stopping & Taking Time to Restructure The Process Aiming For Better Results 💓💞🥰🙏🪞

[@johnbickerstaff5047]

amazing simplicity. Anyone suffering from depression should live this.

[@alexismp3087]

The best thing I got from this was the relatable "if you're lucky you hit a crises", which I think is beyond true. The most emotional people with the most diverse feelings are the ones that have experienced trauma and mental illness. I know from experience, this level of emotional understanding is not typically displayed by the average person with the average level of hardship in life. I am trying my best to reach the level a commenter posted, about mindfulness and awareness of these feelings, indulging and ignoring, finding an equilibrium to seperate the things I feel into a category of sensation instead of a moniker for who and how and what I am.

[@Destiny_crypto_trading707]

So now where u are

[@isaacrurengo4690]

You can't help it but just love Alan Watkins. Brilliant, eloquent and down right funny.

[@kmquinn1]

I had a bad tragedy where I woke up in the hospital last year, and I can assure you that everything he’s saying is correct. This spoke to me in every way it could have.

[@Sbannmarie]

Woah! he delivered three of his boys

[@tomtinker4520]

I shall be 80 next year and I've never known what planet I'm on. that's what my wife says. great talk.

[@The.Good.Man.Project]

Happy 80th Tom!

[@orvardzapanta9729]

What ON EARTH have you been doing, Tom? Lol

[@jcjs33]

i'm a space cadet

[@rossmacintosh5652]

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. There's a book about it so it must be true.

[@sico2446]

I have aspergers - 'wrong planet syndrome', you may relate.

[@glenngouldification]

This man has found the solutions to our problems. We need to take them to heart !

[@drstew1]

What I’ve discovered on my journey, in this life so far is to acknowledge meaning and to understand meaning, because it’s given to things that happen. And what just happened could mean something completely different to you. Which will bring up different feelings and emotions, for example some with you could get up set because your not as upset as they are about what happened? Which brings up expectations. And that’s another one. So if you can drop expectations and give less meaning to things that happen and see everything as a great big happening . Your day might be less emotional and upsetting than any other

[@aperson2020]

Easily one of the top 1% of TED talks. This the best explanation of feelings i have heard yet. I am still not convinced though i understand a new aspect of feelings and emotions. This talk IMO would be beyond the grasp of the vast numbers of people stuck at 9. If i am not supposed to feel anything because of another's behavior or words doesn't that make me an unfeeling robot. How am i supposed to respond to a loving gesture or a gaze or the opposite for that matter. Brilliant talk, and it makes me feel thoughtful and enlightened. So right there this talk has made me feel. And i credit him for it. I feel grateful and empowered.

[@DavidPerez-uj5ui]

it's funny what he said when they learn the rules at age 6-9 and most people stay there, people laugh. In actuality he's being serious.

[@melaniestewart5843]

David Perez that's why it's funny.

[@tummymac]

Thats a relief laughter because the audience cant put through the uncomfortable truth.

[@Zoubimusic]

Yes so funny! I believe part of why it makes people laugh is the discomfort when people realize how real it is.

[@TimoBaader]

@@melaniestewart5843 yep, people got it alright :D

[@elizabethjones5889]

Mindless self indulgence, and selfish instant gratification without having a collective calm disposition is normal. Just going with the flow, not knowing what the flow even is. Always playing follow the leader... boring!!! Endless ignorance make up the world nowadays, so cold and disconnected more now than ever before. Solo originality is fading and should be encouraged more than ever. Stay kind and patient and you will be content and confident with who you are. Realize what you have instead or what you don't have

[@catiaribeiro15]

I started my crises a year after finish my degree and start to work. Took me several years in order to rise again, to accept, to face the question and start to look inside.

[@assassinmir222]

"There was a time before you knew you existed".🤯🤯🤯 I literally thought I was born 4 years old. I woke up one day, and it was like my brain just start realizing I was actually living life. Before that everything felt like a dream.

[@PaulRamnora]

In essence, the gist of what I got from watching all this going from end to end, thrice, is: Nobody else makes you either happy/or, unhappy...; but, instead, it's all down to 'you'.

[@7urbine]

Love how everyone here liked the talk, and want something to help with emotions. So his team creates an app and everyone flips out. RELAX, the app is $1.50, and it's well worth it as it does actually help, and it's honestly really well done. Is he not supposed to advertise and app that helps and relates to his talk?

[@kendallheidi9629]

whats the app called?

[@7urbine]

@@kendallheidi9629 universe of emotions

[@lennyann9886]

" you really don't have to feel anything you do not want to feel." Wow!

[@LaVengeanceInc]

He is essentially describing the ancient technique of mindfulness.

[@tmstani23]

He is also describing emotional literacy. If you don't have a very large emotional vocabulary you aren't able to recognize many of the emotions that are affecting you with mindfulness. You only recognize the conscious sensation but not the "character" of the emotion or the emotional conceptions within yourself that generate your internal senses.

[@มานะสมิธ]

tmstani23 อ

[@enjoiNirvana]

That’s most TED talks tbh

[@sassafrasspecial]

He is essentially describing the ancient technique of bourgeois, paternalistic, individualising victim-blaming. what socio-economic barriers has he had to overcome to find happiness??

[@thumbprint7150]

lavengeance - And he is essentially describing the ancient technique of flogging a product.

[@CuriosityCaravan]

“Hi son” was so cute. Love it

[@kanishkujjwal999]

Connected very well for the first 10 minutes but was expecting a real solution to the crises talked about instead of an app

[@ibnCarlito]

you should listen to a few more of his ted talks, he gives a few solutions or techniques you can use.

[@dndnegy73]

Same here

[@kingal89]

Based on some of his other research you can move yourself to a more neutral (i.e. healthy) environment through rhythmic breathing. But to move yourself from what may be identified as negative or positive you must learn how to overcome your emotional feeling. Your emotions are controlled by your body. All this eventually controls your thoughts and behavior. BUT you are not your body from an awareness perspective. If you are angry and mad you can literally elevate yourself out of that emotion by understanding that it isn't YOU that feels this emotion it is your body. This is the exact same idea of thinking about your thoughts. You are not your thoughts you are one level higher and therefore can witness thoughts coming and going. The app is brilliant when you understand his ideas and ideas of other buddha type figures. The app literally is made just to identify positive and negative emotions and their intensity and to build your vocabulary to identify more subtle levels of emotions.

[@OurNewestMember]

I think you misunderstood. 1) crises don't require a "real solution" -- they're valuable guidance (although really uncomfortable) 2) the solution is not outside you for someone to provide. You finally look inside (practice, practice, practice, practice), and grab hold of an emotion so you can objectify it and develop your awareness (growing your "feelings" beyond a 6-to-9 year old capability) 3) the first 10 minutes were around the problem of lacking awareness of your emotions -- it's great you resonated, so you're primed to master these resistances (anaesthetic approach, distraction, etc). These are what prevent you from achieving point #2, which is the actual "solution" for point #1. 4) To overcome point #3 problems, you make it easier for yourself to do the better thing -- to get to know yourself and address "that question." That emotions galaxy app sounds like a fun, easy way to refine your understanding of your actual state. But you have so many choices... Maybe you could try your own version of awareness-increasing "meditation" -- a long bath, stretching, walking on the treadmill or outdoors, waking up very early and laying in bed thinking, or traditional meditation. Writing, drawing/painting, strength training, fishing, snowboarding, or daydreaming could get you there, too. Strange but true: listening to yourself changes you into something better. It's amazing you can feel 1000% completely different about "the same" (crisis?) circumstances "just" by changing yourself. ...And that you change yourself "just" by listening to your own internal state (it's a trick -- once you "hear" yourself, you can never "unhear" it and that's why "just" listening truly changes you). ....And that you can hear your own internal state by creating the space for it -- petty little things like a bath or a walk. It doesn't "do it" every time, but you never lose what you gain. Also, sometimes you "just" get better at getting better ("I tried not having caffeine and noticed I was less focused on the external world..."). The point here is, experiment with what "does it" for you enough that you want to keep trying and trying and trying. Lastly, imagine: Everyday you are reborn as a chick inside an egg. Doesn't matter how dark or scared or confused or hungry -- you simply do not stop pecking away until you get through that shell. Peck, peck.... rest, breathe.... peck.... peck...... peck Now see this as you trying to get to your inner self -- no matter the appointments, the kids, legal/financial/emotional/health issues whatever... every chance you remember your task... keep pecking away to get to know and see and hear your inner self. Only you can do this. Keep digging and shed light on your emotions! They will shape shift into something more subtle and delightful only to grow into something bigger for you to again discover. And if that doesn't work, 1/4 teaspoon baking soda in water before bedtime. Never met a crisis that won't cure. ...Have fun!

[@kamoroo9999]

@@OurNewestMember thanks bro for your effort of explanation

[@YSFmemories]

OH MY GOD. The part in the middle about the sudden realization PERFECTLY describes what happened to me 2 years ago when I was 25. OH MY GOD.

[@leongooorg]

I enjoyed the first part of the talk. It was really promising, until things started to go downhill. I doubt whether Dr. Watkins has forgotten about his neuroscientific training. Not even the ten most common emotions we usually talk about have distinct neural bases in our brains, and it's actually possible to feel several different emotions simultaneously. But now Dr. Watkins is trying to sell us on the idea of dwelling on one of the thousand planets of the Universe of Emotions from his company. I wish he remained a researcher, not a businessman.

[@nedchar757]

if thats what you got from that ted talk it shows how accurate what he is saying is

[@KZ-xt4hl]

@@nedchar757 Stop being a gullible angry kid please

[@jackx7382]

I suddenly felt like I was getting a sales pitch too

[@vikram2pancholi]

I totally agree with you. One should stop at the timestamp 13.28 . Beyond that it looks like Alan is promoting the App, Universe of Emotions.

[@visioneer2008]

I got what he's saying, and it's the actual solution to problematic emotions: Objectify them. Or as someone else said in another TED talk, observe them. Look at them. What are you feeling? Chills up your spine? a fluttery feeling in the stomach? What? Look at them carefully. As you do it, you will find that you have to step out of the emotion to observe it. And... you're out of the grip of whatever emotional storm you've been in, even as you are aware of it happening. Do it again and again, every time you feel out of control, and soon you'll have mastery. You can think a little more rationally even when, for example, you're feeling anger-and maybe you can even come up with a solution to whatever it is that's roiling you. It's also called mindfulness. :)

[@mz6367]

this man is brilliant I am thrilled that this video was recommended to me

[@innerqholisticcentre8959]

Thank you sooooo much for a beautiful explanation. Thank you again for expressing the CHOICE each one of us have .

[@amitrajput8299]

Every single person on this planet needs to hear this.

[@raducpm6972]

There are no limits as to how much I love TED 🌍🌎🌏

[@orvardzapanta9729]

Time Exposed to Danger, you mean?

[@yveqeshy]

This is easily the best Ted talk I have watched, religion is one of those rules imposed on kids withiut their consent by their guardians and the minute you start to actually ask the questions you were not allowed to ask, it snowballs into other aspects of your life. I really enjoyed all his dramatization and gesturing, really had the audience engaged the whole time

[@vince2923]

Yes, labeling is an important step towards awareness, but the key word missing in this talk is identification. As soon as you stop identifying with your emotions when you have them, they automatically lose much of their power. You are NOT the emotion, something Watkins is shortly touching on around 17:49 and onwards. I feel anger instead of I am angry. The next question then is, who is this 'Í' that is aware of the coming and going of emotions, feelings, thoughts and everything else we can focus on in this existence. Now that's where it becomes truly interesting..

[@johnbelsermusic140]

Love it

[@Meahtube]

Vincent Kuiper was

[@emmalikesflowers]

mmmkay I’m waiting for the right time to “drop some acid”. I’ve just finished reading a book published this year about the science of psychedelics-very interesting. My conditioning has a very stronghold on my psyche, ordinary methods don’t seem to be able to shift the blocks so I’ve been considering this method but it’s a bit tricky to find a practitioner in Australia 😂Congratulations btw

[@karenjenkins201]

Yeah personally sharing it on twitter doesn't seem the right step towards detaching yourself from a label.

[@kyreshlcsw2229]

The problem is when people see having emotions as a hinderance. I chose to feel this or that, I have no connection to my outside reality. Western movies about spies and snipers and cowboys are about people not stopped by their emotions. Emotions are viewed as an inconvenient sticky web. Very good. So we are supposed to operate by by logical descions not emotional connection. How nice if that were true but the Iraq veteran who comes back and two years later remembers that he shot several children and is non functional for a while. Child molesters have no connection with their victim. Torturers in the mexican cartel get on off on pleading. In fact people who see themselves as in charge of whether they feel good or bad and are not effected by what other people say or do work well as criminals. The dad who feels nothing as beats his kid, the son off's his family and then has hamburger. Emotions are there for a reason and if you function by only what you tell yourself not from your emotional connnection to your reality you may be a sociopath or at least a politician.

[@zentzu4003]

The order in which he listed the external distractions were absolutely accurate to my life

[@Tiggzg]

What a great talk one of my very favourite ted talks. Great speaker, relaxed and down to earth. His sons are very lucky to have him as a dad. Bravo.

[@nitinbhatt3843]

three lines- decide what you do not want to feel decide what you want to feel feel what you decide(powerful, strong, joyful, happy, blissful etc)

[@bincangbiasa]

Simple rules to be success is to understand the rules, follow it, and play with it... that’s my conclusion. I’m always following you, Dr Watkins. Great talks!

[@flyingdeepak2629]

You got it.

[@shanaadams4456]

He's right about a tragedy being a gift. This is what I learned in therapy.

[@jetstream1146]

I've been taught that emotions are the result of what we think; irrational beliefs and cognitive distortions skew our thinking. Learning to recognise when you are experiencing these irrational beliefs and cognitive distortions (after developing an understanding of them) can/may/might help you to reframe your thoughts so that your emotions become more positive. It doesn't always work; it's worth a try. It's part of a type of therapy called CBT: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

[@andy-magri]

THE BEST TED TALK I'VE EVER SEEN

[@sophw8780]

I have always questioned the "rules" - everything he has said is exactly it. I've never heard anyone describe these thoughts or feelings I've had before like he has. Why is anything the way it is ? Why should we do it this way? Why are we even doing it?

[@elliottroca]

You are the person YOU have been waiting for!

[@PurnamaABC]

Thank you, I'm starting to find peace with my emotions.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Empathy is the #1 thing our children need to learn. Not just cognitively but actually. It’s what makes us human beings.

[@poerava]

This is a brilliant talk. Thank you. There are some wonderful empowering tools for the majority of people in this world. As a clinical psychologist, of course I lean towards ensuring that those who have mental illnesses and are not ‘in control’ of how they feel, seek help that increases the likelihood of them being in control. ‘Misery is optional’ is something he could have done well to rephrase that into ‘misery is a natural response to the neuro chemical environment your mind is experiencing. Here are how you can effect that environment...’

[@venkateshuchil620]

4

[@poerava]

@@venkateshuchil620 Skin

[@jseymour1594]

"misery is the natural response to the neurochemical environment your mind is experiencing here's how you affect that environment" Beautifully stated!!

[@poerava]

@@jseymour1594 Thank you 🙏🏽

[@frankmaverik2854]

The idea of create a Starmap of emotion is genial! The idea of navegate in the map is even more! Congrat!!!

[@aryaroyal999]

One of the greatest talks I've ever heard..👏👏👏very mindful, makes you think why you feel what you feel..very positive message

[@hotsoss1095]

eh

[@Ezm23]

I honestly believe this is the most important Ted talk there is. Thanks Dr. Watkins!

[@BlueberryThoughts]

Its really not this simple, as much as this has good points its incredibly important to let yourself feel a full range of the emotional spectrum aswell. It is a vital part of good mental health.

[@tanveerchowdhury7630]

Thank you Mr.Alan Watkins for the speech.

[@joseecarrier2209]

I am speechless...Thanks so much for sharing!!!! Exactly what i needed to know finally, i found sense to a lots!!!..Bless you Alan , thanks , i felt the love all the way here in my heart to keep forever! xx

[@datz2105]

Wow. Exactly my feelings after losing my son to illness. Questioning the point of my life. I didn’t know there was a term for it, but I called it purgatory.

[@anikkhan4887]

energy in motion..emotion! blew my mind! did not know that xD

[@azzurres1]

Really? First mentioned also in the books of walsh in 1994

[@mayamichelle6741]

I think I read it first in Molecules of Emotion by Candace B Pert in 1997.

[@MahmoudMahmoudTobi]

Lol yeah, I read it first from Robert Kiyosaki's Book: Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

[@gringovlogs4387]

Blew my mind too

[@ethanhuntakabobturner4285]

I was fortunate to learn this about 13 years ago. Ignorance really is bliss though. It's easier to blame someone or something else over looking at what's causing the feelings to arise in the first place. Knowing this is one thing; accepting it is what makes the real difference.

[@fakhrulislamjewel7120]

Excellent talk as expected from Dr. Watkins. The problems were identified quite sharply, however the solution part sounded a bit flat. Hoping for a more structured demonstration in the next talks. Peace

[@roshinaamin1277]

in search of answers, I been listening thousands of hours of Ted talks , it never happened that I was checking again and again to see how long is left of it, before this I have found myself wanting the talks to finish at times, this was different, I wished it could have gone longer it just clicked, came in front of my eyes right at the moment when I needed it the most

[@LizNierzwicki]

This is brilliant and I want to help you get this into every single school system in our world!!

[@sandhyamurthy6227]

L

[@daryasinusoid7367]

my favourite ted talk. Thank you Mr Watkins

[@chh8860]

Quite possibly … mine too.

[@Eddie51752]

Brilliant. Just brilliant. I'm going to watch this a number of times. Then recommend this to others. Very impressive.

[@danielbravo8350]

experiencing suffering fully, in any psychological form , is the most precious and powerful experience we can have as humans. Not only that, like she says after a while of self training, suffering can fade away completely. It becomes only pain. And every time it knocks on your door, a deeper level of inner freedom occurs. It does not end there, il also transforms other people next to you, with out you saying or speaking nothing ... !

[@danyelamarsin9954]

Great talk, and great representation of emotions and description of feelings! I can't believe I'm seeing this so late. However, I still have 2 questions. 1) How long should you allow yourself to experience the "negative" or unpleasant emotion before [consciously] succeeding at convincing yourself that you are somewhere else on the emotion map to avoid ptsd from unresolved matter ? 2) How do you go from choosing an emotion to actually experiencing it? Do you go from feeling to emotion and how ? Do you create the physical environment of the desired emotion around you? Thank you.

[@itsoknottobeok9381]

It's been 2yrs and still your comment is untouched 🎩 off

[@simonmasters3295]

Still working on it

[@clintmatheny5457]

@@simonmasters3295 clintmatheny

[@jennypham3699]

I love this guy. What an entertaining talk. He is absolutely brilliant and I completely agree. So many people try to numb their lives away or achieve goals or chase one high after another looking for that moment that will “truly satisfy” because they are lacking or unhappy inside. They absolutely do become “victims” in their minds of the environment and events happening around them. A great way to LIVE a higher quality of life is to recognize that you have control. The planet analogy is just his way of saying that you decide who you are, what your values and identity are, and how you can “Set The Tone” for your own life. Then stay there! At work, I notice a lot of people doing the exact same job I’m doing with a completely different mindset. They walk through the door absolutely determined to hate the work and all the challenges that come with it. I walk in the door determined to do the job to the best of my ability, embrace the parts that I love, and make a game out of managing conflicts in a non-confrontational manner. Like, how do I get these people to WANT to do what I need them to do? Then, when they do it, I praise their efforts! When people start crabbing, I don’t engage. Instead, I set the tone of gratitude, delight in how no matter how hard it is, things seem to work out (the show must go on), I focus on the exciting aspects of the career, and try to spread that appreciation and joy. It’s my own life and I’m happy because I’m a happy person. So glad to hear the same message from his perspective!!

[@IC4nia]

With a name composing of "Alan Wat"..."s", greatness comes indeed ;-) I truly enjoyed having taught a difference between emotion and feeling. It goes together with the difference between pain and suffering, educated in vipassana training, which hits the spot of this talk.

[@bkaczmarski]

The name similarities are not lost on me either 🙏

[@lisamuir4261]

I can relate to the asking of what planet or where you are❤. I usually respond asking what is the time in your zone. Humorous presentation.

[@OurNewestMember]

8:09 If you're lucky, you have a crisis. Something terrible happens 11:34 emotions (energy in motion, always happening) versus feelings (awareness in our mind, may or may not exist!) 17:36 get control of it: take your subjective experience outside of you and objectify it Secrets revealed

[@randomthings8376]

w

[@OurNewestMember]

@@randomthings8376 y? :)

[@PaperRaines]

You're the real MVP bro 🙌🏾💯🏆

[@bkaczmarski]

Very true and also very eastern philosophy 🙏. Both are right :)

[@GThu1]

It's the best TED talk I've ever seen! He explained that what I was trying many times to others, the issue with the "emotion injecting". My wife will be the first who must see this :) Hopefully, this time it will go thru.

[@korras21]

The build up was great, but he killed it with selling this app.

[@vaibhavarora2301]

Thankful that he shared about that app. Was quite interesting

[@Lanavishs]

Now I see what happed to my father. I'm am greatful for this

[@anisamuthiah628]

I was consulting some problem with my psychiatrist and according to her how I respond to the situation and how I solve my problem is like a 4 years old kids and she gave me some guidance how to act like my age (I am 24 years old). Now I'm getting better playing role as my age.

[@phixphixation7261]

The Universe of Emotions app is brilliant, also very good in social context.

[@naturegh]

i have really been blessed with this message, it was very insightful and inspirational😊😊

[@Joy6168]

What a fascinating look at emotional development. “But a much bigger parent called society comes in and imposes rules.”

[@kellieair]

Amazing presentation. I couldn’t remember watching a really nice, useful and profound presentation in years...

[@Doctormario4600]

This is the best Ted Talk I've ever seen.

[@harikabasak8955]

The solution to controlling emotions sounds very similar to mindfulness, another explanation and perspective.

[@karanjeetchohan8210]

Loved the first bit ... Connecting ... Conveying ...you can't close the sale of your app ... Eventually you started selling ... The true resolve for free is meditation...

[@Malally2]

"you dont have to feel anything that you dont want to feel" because in order to feel something, like offense, you have to pick it up first. someone offers you something like offense and in order to feel offended you have to accept that they gave you that. When in actuality you dont have to do that, and that action in and of itself is a choice. you can choose to distance yourself from the negativity, or you can choose to look at things from other perspectives that would not allow you to pick up the offense. I come from a history of bipolar, so this can be very difficult, but it IS possible. because once you distinguish your feelings as what they truly are, and how they effect you, then you can distinguish and have the choice of whether they truly bother you or not.

[@uraniumu242]

These days everyone is told to be offended by everything

[@martaecala]

this is actually super cool since I was diagnosed with alexithymia