Bill Engvall | Here's Your Sign | Full Show

[@samuelgeesey980]

One day when i was about 15. My mom was watching golf. My brother walks into the room. Looks at her, looks at the TV, look as her and asks "are you watching golf?" With out missing a beat she responds "Nope im watching nascar on grass" Heres your sign.

[@therealrcg6838]

I have to say that's a genius insult. Like, that's a really well thought reply.

[@valentinaostrovsky680]

Extremely skillfully funny!! Be blessed with many healthy years to make your audience laugh unstoppable.

[@kujo734]

When my kids were young teenagers I got sent to the store to get tampons. I told the daughter who needed them to tear the lid off the old box and I'll take it with me. My youngest daughter said she'd better go with me. LOL From the beginning of the tampon aisle I started singing Sesame Street "One of these things is not like the other!" I was loud. My daughter left immediately to the other side of the store. After I got done with that song, I went into the theme from Jeopardy. When we got home, my daughter told my wife "PLEASE don't send him to the store for tampons again!" And she didn't!

[@LindaCastleberry-s7r]

HERE'S YOUR SIGN

[@LindaCastleberry-s7r]

SIGN,SIGN... HERES YOUR STUPID ☢️☢️☢️☢️☢️ SIGN LMAO

[@TheBrytstarr]

2:16 play 5'oclock world

[@christine7538]

That's a very funny story, I can just picture that happening.

[@jonathanbair523]

@@christine7538 Hey it got him out of any trips to the store later... LOL WTG kujo!

[@janicemyers5539]

Years ago i was wearing a full body suit ( a wine colored cat suit) to the bar. As it was a quiet moment a man yell to me as i walking by where's your tail. I stop turned & looked at him raised my arm pointing to the east & said about 600 km that way. ( my boyfriend worked out of town). Much laughter.

[@susanwahl6322]

I use a wheelchair and when I moved into a new three-story apartment building, my therapist asked me… do they have an elevator!? No I said. I just haul this thing up three flights of stairs. Here’s your sign. Unfortunately, she didn’t get it.

[@jacalynnepuder1172]

Gret story though, thanks for the smile 😃

[@jillz1542]

😂

[@Dana-hd8he]

What happened to common sense

[@sarahveazey7956]

Must be blonde 😂

[@bradleytguthrie929]

Bill Engvall is a great comedian.

[@IamValak-j9e]

his material is a bit limited

[@luvenastucker9260]

I prefer Ron White but I like Bill as well

[@jwells3315]

Its good to hear pretty clean comedy for once

[@Caphiasas-sf6ct]

does real life comedy upset you ?

[@debramoore1428]

Always a top of the line performance. ❤ Bill😂

If you could get a women to shut up long enough they'd be staring at the fire also.

[@phyllis9162]

My all time favorite of the blue collar guys.hes terrific.

[@greenfox7657]

I used to have this CD in my car. I think i know the whole thing by heart at this point, and honestly its still hilarious

[@kaptainhammer]

Who cares

[@SharonHeslin]

Who doesn't love this man?

[@earthling8585]

I've had a serious crush on him from the first time I saw him on Johnny Carson. 😍💞🙋‍♀🤣

[@keithadkins532]

My dad used to play Bill Engvall comedy on road trips growing up, mostly because it was clean and partially to cut up the monotony of the road trip Because as we all know, "in 1903 the wright brothers invented in the airplane... Because in 1902, they took a road trip with their family."

[@deborahreardon4875]

Was honored to see Bill live at the Fox Theater in Tucson. Will always love him and his humor. Happy Retirement. Still enjoying your past videos.

[@beverlyrose1352]

Love your comedy! Blue collar comedy is amazing!

[@Sherry-h8m]

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh.

[@MyTruthsPodcast]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@leegoldeneagle9003]

So very cool. Much fun thanks 👍👍👍👍👍😊

[@RebeccaHomestead-gq8bv]

Love him. Thank you Congressman for your service. Stay strong.

[@SteveKimed]

I grabbed my cigarettes and was going outside when my wife ask "are you going out for a smoke?" No shut off valve here and I replied " nope beautiful day out so I'm taking them out to exercise" here's your sign

[@paulvamos7319]

😂

[@gailryan6910]

What does “here’s your sign “?😊

[@gailryan6910]

What does “here’s your sign mean

[@gregfawcett4043]

Stupid people should have to wear a sign saying "I'm stupid".​@@gailryan6910

[@user-co1fg4xf9b]

Lmao

[@samcampbell9399]

Ive always likened it to, "you can't fix stupid" or "duh."

[@AkiraCatt24]

No, you can't. BUT DUCT TAPE WILL MUFFLE THE SOUND! 😂😂

[@glennpettipas6334]

I have never watched Bill Engvall before. He is now second on my list, (George Carlin 1937-2008. #1) but even George couldn't make my laugh this hard.

[@TheSleepingonit]

Great show, laughed my sad off, I screamed when that finger went up my butt.

[@deborahclark9282]

Bill Engvall is the funniest fellow Ever!!!

[@JudyWhewell-rp9tu]

Bill Engval is the greatest

[@margimackowski-seif9305]

My husband has become Legally Blind so I have become the driver in this family - and he has become "the wife?" . The interesting part about his "backseat driving" is the HE'S BLIND! Even one of our male friends commented on his "backseat driving". - that's how bad it is! Let's see some comedian work with that.

[@foureyedelf6151]

Be the comedian you want to see in the world.

[@heidikickhouse-]

A pro can't top your description, which was hysterical (but probably more so if you're not living it).

[@gilmanmurray6550]

My heart goes out to you.

[@Dana-hd8he]

My grandmother always would say I can't see.I can't see but she could see what she wanted to

[@DarleneAtchley-i6i]

Thank You so much for the laughs, I can’t breathe !! ❤❤❤😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@JohnSostrom]

Bill, you missed a real one. My wife, after 20 years of marriage, was complaining about my snoring. I tried to tell her that she snored also. I said this none confrontationaly. And she went off about it. So, to prove a point, I took my little tape recorder to bed. When she started snoring I turned on the recorder. After 10 minutes I stopped the recorder and went to sleep. Next morning I turned on the playback. She gave me a look that made me melt into the chair. She then proceeded to take that little voice recorder and throw it into the trash compactor. Do you know what a trash compactor does to a small voice recorder. I was in trouble for the next 3 weeks. 😅😅

[@arrahslichenmyer4986]

Bill Engvall is.talented to the max! My sides hurt.

[@scottbrrryhill6958]

I like the Here's Your Sign Jokes.

[@charleswalker556]

No baby I didn't hit a deer.....I hit the raccoon you ate last night 😂

[@manellaperry4748]

Hello Squirrel 🐿️ Tribe Queen 👑 Leader. I love you too the angels and back. You never have to apologize to us or anyone, for being you and showing us that you love your family and friends. My mom passed on in December 05 . Best decision I made to move back to Kentucky from Florida. I got to spend time with her and made more memories. It still hurts and I miss her, always will, it's just that we learn to deal,heal and get on best we can . Happy Friday much love 👍👊💜🇺🇲🙏

[@travelingviewfinder810]

One of my favorite comedians 🩵🩵

[@patriciatyree3936]

I love this man.. my husband asked what am I dong when I'm in laundry room said I'm shopping at Walmart

[@iDuckman]

Fsg brilliant, Bill. Thanks.

[@SharonHeslin]

All this laughing and not one swear word!

[@LJRayburn-ij1qz]

You clearly didn’t watch this video all the way through

[@stephensmith2458]

Even old ..I laughed my ass off waking my son up

[@jacalynnepuder1172]

Ah, an oldie but a Goldie

[@dianecarter9393]

Love this guy to bad he has retired

[@aspenrebel]

My mother was like that. She'd take one sip of alcohol and she'd be dancing on top of the table with a lamp shade on her head. With me, alcohol has very little effect.

[@jamesgibson4807]

Ain't Laughed This Hard in a Long Spell 😊

[@redknight1322]

This schitic never gets old...🤣

[@susanhowell6838]

He's an original❤

[@scottmurphy650]

Bill is one of the best stand up comics ever. I have seen him twice at State Fairs and never in my life have I laughed that hard. When woke up the next morning my stomach muscles hurt like I had done 1000 situps the day before.

[@mrcapitalist2285]

Are you serious????

[@mrcapitalist2285]

Really ?? I really wanted to be a rock drummer but didn't have the talent , so I decided to find something else , Bill didn't use this logic ?

[@MarshaB.-lx7le]

🎉 I Love Bill engvall

[@MarshaB.-lx7le]

He is one of the best comedians I have ever heard!!!!😂😅

[@MarshaB.-lx7le]

I want to get drunk with him !!

[@JohnSostrom]

You know your old when you realize that the call them the "Golden Years" because the Doctors get the Gold. At 73 I can honestly say, 'I have my old car when the doctor bought a new Viper."

[@Rustyrailhead]

Yes, wife rearranged the dishwasher

[@stardust7x]

I rearrange ours all the time! 😂

[@cannedmusic]

"if you're lying to me about smoking, how do I know you're not sleeping with other women" "I don't sleep with other women...unless you forget to take your nightly dose, then it's a guess as to whom I'm sleeping with"

[@TheSleepingonit]

I've been on Vicodin, improved aspirin for me

[@Silver_Halo_195]

So, I got one about a month ago. I needed to get my oil change done (I am terrible at managing a car) and I had checked my oil before, and noticed I was VERY low. So I decided to take it to a Valvoline Oil Change Station. I pulled up to the door and rolled my window down, and one of the employees came up to me and said, "Do you need an oil change?" I said: "No, No I was wondering if this is where I get my car washed and detailed" Here's your sign

[@bruce-z9p]

Bill, i really enjoyed your movie, "Bait Shop".

[@GlemaD.-hk8ez]

Great. Job thanks a lot God bless you and yours👍🏻🫶🏻🙏🏻

[@MyTruthsPodcast]

Our pleasure!

[@pattyfaulkner6266]

Love this guy

[@vickielkins8370]

Love him! The video was blurry though.

[@joyferguson2124]

I laughed my rear off!!

[@gregoryblair9810]

My wife dresses me, too.

[@R.Oates7902]

My husband's a rebel. He wears what he wants!

[@ashotofwhiskey219]

I love how he's unintentionally selling bachelorhood.

[@R.Oates7902]

The parasailing story is funny.

[@jonathanbair523]

Oh god.... He just reminded me, that I turned 40 this year...... *sighs* well, next time I go in my doc is going to get to know me a bit more personal... LOL

[@kimleone5496]

Love it!

[@arrahslichenmyer4986]

He is SO talented!!

[@deadspace-117]

I walked into my house after mowing the lawn and I started getting sniffles because of my allergies my mom sees this and says “allergies acting up?” I couldn’t resist I just said “Nope cocaine” Here’s your sign She didn’t laugh

[@gothgirl4evr881]

😂😂😂

[@yogisforrest8757]

Bill??? Like you, I'm in my 60's... We trained Gen X 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@gothgirl4evr881]

And we thank you😂

[@WarriorMigs24]

So good

[@catherinepraus8635]

That’s why we make you go to work so you can have those 3 basic needs 😂

[@redvince5627]

I had to take my car into the shop a few years ago to get fixed, and had to get a rental car while it was being fixed. My roommate at the time didn’t know I was doing this so she got all confused when I came home in a different car. She goes “what’s with the different car?” I say “it’s my rental car. My regular car is in the shop.” She says “is it getting fixed?” 😑🙄 I go “No it’s playing hide and seek, I just gave up looking for it.” Here’s your sign!

[@dianneknox2960]

Love Bills videos. He’s the best. How is he doing now.

[@NykeESS]

How’s he doing now? Well shoot he’s in the other room using the facility at my pad at the moment, but if you want maybe I can get him your contact info when he’s back. Here’s your sign!

[@scottbrrryhill6958]

And it's Scott Berryhill

[@jwells3315]

You have to prewaah your dishes before you pit them in the dishwasher. 😮😮 then you put the dishwasher on prewash. ???

[@timothyblack6972]

The Awesome things I missed out on being married and having kids!

[@elih.3093]

Here's one that happened to me at work(on a weekly basis.. Im working in a pharmacy.... So, about a week ago, a customer walks in asks me what time does the store open today...I tell him 8am.....it's 10am when they asked me....here's your sign....

[@opaladwyl]

Oh college memories….

[@carmenm.knight6310]

Great comedian

[@xtreme3353]

I had the discretionary gene in my single digits. I knew my dad would blister (literally) my butt if I didn't. 1 giant blister covering it.

[@DoctorQuackenbush]

This must be a few years old as Irwin died in 2006.

[@Edward-bd8iy]

And of all things, a stingray barb. It's always the little things... the most basic things. I knew a Chevrolet dealership owner for a long time. One afternoon, be was doing business and... stepped out from between two parked cars. Immediately erased by a six wheel delivery truck. Watch yourselves, folks.

[@hazelbaumgartner9706]

It says copyright 2004 at the end.

[@jaygryshik7347]

Awesome

[@garrettwright5092]

Was going to grill some chicken one afternoon and realized I was out of pellets for my grill. Run to Walmart grab a bag, and go to check out. Lady looks at the bag, then at me with a straight face and goes “Oh, are you grilling?” “No Ma’am, this is what I snack on while watching the Kentucky derby.” Here’s your sign 😂

[@Silver_Halo_195]

Okay THAT is a good one 😂. A+

[@KarenYauney]

I wish we made it 21 or even more. My honey passed away 19 :@( ,,,,

[@LaUnicaEsperanza]

I'm so sorry. 😢

[@connieyarga9798]

Dont u love it

[@MelodyLangford]

Too cool 😎

[@Uthgardloki]

I'm just a guy early 2000s version of the Himbo

[@samanthanichols1569]

I’m at work pulling security to allow drivers on the property when a trucker comes in to pick up a load I ask him what his load was and he says some random string of letters and numbers so I look at him and ask him if he doesn’t have any different orders He looks at me and say “ but this is dodge city right?” And I just stare trying not to laugh and say “ nope your a couple hours late for that one” but all I’m thinking is‘here’s your sign’

[@RoryDawson-x8h]

very good

[@gailryan6910]

Crazy if you don’t.

[@loganbyrne3054]

After 1:03:04, we fell off and I still have bruised ribs.

[@ericbeattie761]

Because i can only deal with one😮

[@adamtereska8734]

A skate boarder landed short on a grind rail and caught himself "down there." His buddies were laughing at and asked him, "Dude, you're holding your nads. Didnyou nail the rail?" The skater said, "Nope, your girlfriends double teamed me and theynwere tighter than I thought." Here's your sign.

[@aspenrebel]

I thank God everyday that I'm single. I would not put up with any of this for 2 seconds.

[@aspenrebel]

LUNCH!!

[@genastanley8710]

Poor guy...OMG

[@tracyparker1742]

Yes we can.

[@loganbyrne3054]

At 1:01:08 landed me in a hospital

[@kaoticwolf9256]

The worst part is that I am a guy and I relate to the dishwasher bit because I am that person that has to have it a certain way.

[@garrywilliams4449]

Ford stew, found on road dead.

[@IamValak-j9e]

anyone else hear the Hyena in the front row

[@janicelinett3702]

Wow the dishwasher and laundry thing I must still be the guy and hubby must still be the girl wow the man he is the wife? That’s scary.

[@davigorb]

At 5:00 Yup

[@kennethohnemus3192]

My ex wife sent me to the store for tampons once.

[@bernie.fitzpatrick7948]

Hi, ur as funny as Norm Macdonald. Do u like Norm MacDonald? Im from New Zealand 🇳🇿🇨🇰💯🔥👍 youre funnyas!😂

[@zrobertsroberts8536]

Rip Steve earlwim

[@kimberlyortman7862]

😂😂

[@sharismith9944]

♥

[@lomgshorts3]

Bill, as women get older, THEY can do 747 skid marks on their underwear !!!! I know, I've washed a few !!