Bill Maher's New Rules #1

[@eaubert1]

That look on Bill Clinton's face says: "How the fuck do they know about the cigar?" Simply priceless!!!

[@colinskelding8959]

"We want deal" I laughed then cried then laughed again for twenty minutes.😄😂😜

[@richardwarren1718]

Me too. That was classic😂😂😂.

[@Minnesota3478]

Life is better with Bill Maher!💖

[@lauralishes1]

The flash of horror and recognition in Clinton's face was hilarious.

[@daveman5860]

That was one of the best;. deer caught in the headlights moments,,, ever ))😳)) 🎸⚡

[@Lorenzo23able]

@@daveman5860 iii

[@Smedley1947]

Here's a fun fact. Current Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh was on Starr's team during the investigation of Clinton and was the person who continually lobbied for the release of in detail description of what Clinton and Lewinsky did together. One of two things or possibly both would explain that. Either it was purely a prurient interest on his part or he knew that maximum damage would be done by revealing the dirtiest details. Frankly I think it's for his work for Starr that he was rewarded eventually with the Supreme Court seat much as the writer of the Powell memo was given a seat on the Supreme Court for his work on that document.

[@flyguy1527]

Bill has some of the most talented writers!

[@franniealbaugh1298]

Great compilation. 😂 I’d forgotten some of them. Funny Flashbacks!!! Still laughing... 😆

[@bernardoheusi6146]

Panda porn was top kek

[@lurchlogan]

"Hey Fuck You... You Know What"?? 😬😬 That part always makes me LoL!! 🤣🤣

[@531katie]

Thanks for the medley. I needed to laugh today. Even if some are dated, it’s like Groundhog Day anyway with this orange sphincter as president Thank you.

[@kenhasibar2624]

Well said! 🍻 Hope you're feeling happier. 🍻🍻

[@tylerkeller8869]

That cheese-ball grin Bill cuts after every punchline😂🤣

[@hew195050]

Thank you for this. His one liners are premo!

[@eargasm1072]

The only two things I miss not having cable TV... Bill Maher and TCM

[@thudius55]

Just go on to KZbin and ya! Haven't missed a thing he's still funny as ever...💯🙄🤔🤘🏽...

[@Bubba1960.]

Omg, the look on that idiots face when he said, "we want deal!" I died.

[@FelloniousMonk22]

'Its like they don't want you to know the truth!' Cut to CIA Director Hayden LOL

[@polite_as_fuck]

I’d pay good money to see Trump’s reaction to Mueller asking him about getting peed on.

[@gogyoo]

He did it again, made another Python member laugh

[@SuperCatman]

*WE WANT DEAL!*

[@losaikogogreen3636]

How about repealing taxes to benefit the middle class, Guaranteeing pre-existing conditions, affordable medications, allowing more judges for refugees at the border, arresting all violent Trump or other violent political supporters, and releasing all Trump as well as other politicians Tax info by legislation, Tax & Business Records! I also want automatic Impeachments for those caught lying or cheating with still jail terms based on how bad the results!!! The majority of Americans wang these laws. No Gerrymandering or voter suppression!!! Voter fraud has only been caught by republican canadites and Trump refuses to discuss it!!! It is wrong.

[@Pravdacz-tp8zu]

@@losaikogogreen3636 No thanks.

[@2013venjix]

Priceless

[@bluecollarhispanic]

I used to watch Bill when he was on ABC back in the early 2000's, I do admire some of the things he says. But these clips are all over the place.

[@finalgirl9474]

As a psychology student, the friend prostitute is pretty accurate. BTW love the bukkake reference.

[@PreacherJenkins]

Nothing Freudian there.

[@savfab5689]

Bet you do Final girl...I bet you u do!

[@adriantrejo8397]

Did you do anything with that? It's a serious question. Frasier is my favorite show & I enjoy helping people so I want to know how feasible it is for a regular joe like me to become a clinical psychologist?

[@taniasinesi2934]

vote for him if he ran for public office. I work extra just to keep HBO .I would rather skip a meal than miss Bill Time with Bill Maher is my favorite show of all time.He is so smart and so funny I look forward to it each week. Would definitely

[@tylerkeller8869]

"...sold you a phone at the Verizon store." 🤣😂

[@jed-henrywitkowski6470]

Nice. This is how comedy is supposed to be. Everyone is game, regardless of the Comedian's personal worldview.

[@lolicanadian]

5:15 - It's the rule here in Toronto. The Don Valley Parkway is usually so clogged both ways that _literally everyone_ calls it "the Don Valley Parking Lot".

[@proud2bpagan]

"Am I an avid outdoorsman,or am i just *really* attracted to firemen?" Can't it be both?

[@Absurdginger]

Oh fuck that Donald Rumsfeld 911 Iraq war new rule had me laughing so hard I woke up my wife, she didn’t think it was funny....

[@Mr_Case_Time]

I haven't watched his show in a while, I hope he's still offending everyone!

[@trumpjonguno6994]

Justin Mills he is, and it's a beautiful thing.

[@richardramirez3805]

Justin, nah he's been compromised by the far-left, he's got TDS*

[@kenhasibar2624]

Only whiny, crybaby, don't-hurt-my-feelings pussies get offended. By anything. I'm a bartender. People call me jackass all the time. I don't know them well enough that their opinion matters, so I just shrug it off, and finish with: "That'll be four bucks." 🍻

[@Wally-pu2hh]

He offends Truth

[@tongbaimasongilmore3603]

Better than listening to trump .

[@misamatsumori]

Thanks for laughter Bill!

[@thudius55]

Bill your funny & Crazy my man bill keep up da, good work you keep me with a smile.....

[@petergreen2552]

Clinton's cigar look. 🤪

[@margueritejohnson6407]

I think Oreos must be an American thing. I tried one once, well, half of one. Never again.

[@kapediten1968]

Marguerite Johnson they are disgusting.

[@margueritejohnson6407]

Kape Diten I’m really glad someone agrees. The damn things are everywhere in different flavours!

[@kapediten1968]

Marguerite Johnson yes they have a plethora of those nasty tastes.

[@daddius]

I’m American and I agree... they are garbage discs.

[@lurchlogan]

Oreo's are one of those things that you love when you're a kid(anything with loads of sugar really)but absolutely despise as an adult!!

[@ShuyanStoryTeller]

I am Chinese. I want deal.

[@seanxu2517]

Me too. 😂

[@AlexSGabor]

Joe Home #kanyewest I am #GZeus #WilliamMount #snapalert #saveyourpennies for #snapchange #trillionairesfortrump not #billionairesforbush #georgesoros is not #antifa #anarchy #antichrist or #antichristian #youarehired #youarehigher by #infinitology #copperkills #silvereagle #gold #silver #banksters

[@wesleyhite8203]

On every one of these shows, there is all ways some one who thinks they have to laugh louder than anyone else.

[@BeeBumper]

Hold on those icedancers had to train to do those moves, I just did them.

[@joniahdemarco3371]

Angel Gd The moves or the ice dancers? 🤔

[@milascave2]

angel: yea, but try it on skates.

[@BeeBumper]

I'm Canadian, I have done it on skates.

[@milascave2]

angel: well then, you should try out for the winter Olympics. You may have a chance.

[@BeeBumper]

Random places is fine, but I've never been much of an exhibitionist. Attention whore maybe.

[@TampaJohn]

Allah-palooza? 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

[@pjhorn512]

No

[@trumpjonguno6994]

Piotr Jankowski buzzkill 😝

[@talksolot]

he's a jw bigot so taunting moslems is his job and his heritage.

[@exessex3522]

9:20 The guys who injure or strand themselves on cliffs, mountains etc. should be given the lowest priority by rescue services and then charged full price for their rescue and treatment. Knowingly and intentionally taking risks should not be subsidized.

[@2013venjix]

5:00! Trump: We want deal. 😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

[@space_ghost1994]

Very funny compilation 👏 👏 well done !

[@abhishekkhandkar]

That oreo joke was out of the world man

[@enrique6195]

We want deal. Lmaoooo

[@williambunting803]

That Haj crowd looks at least twice as large as Trumps inauguration get together!

[@bigal-san2k197]

5 seconds into the video and I'm already dying

[@yegfreethinker]

5:00 XD _we want deal_ !

[@a.landon9503]

I love Bill Maher...and I am a guy who knows brilliance. (I produced three Chris Rush albums; one exec. produced by George Carlin). But now the hammer...Please do not give George Z. any fame or notoriety. He should be exiled to a penal colony. Like Papillion.

[@Nicolas-fo8qd]

Wow the new rules back then were much better

[@johnelam23]

I’m so going to miss the Karl lagerfeld joke

[@CraftyZanTub]

That Oreo is a statement mess, not a cookie. I do like the statement.

[@AlastorsShadowDemon]

I think they should have kept the cookie in its original size, but each row had different color cream.

[@CraftyZanTub]

@@AlastorsShadowDemon They made the cookie the way they did so that it would show the colors vividly on camera. Having one cream layer multiple colors may not have showed well on camera.

[@mrjeff3373]

Bill is the king.

[@reneangulotrujillo1]

brilliant man!

[@paulavery5889]

Bill Maher makes me laugh no matter how shitty I feel.

[@computerstar9883]

OMG WE want DEAL 😂😂😂

[@giglamarr2236]

Your boy Bill is wild !

[@kevinkeating1394]

This was super funny 1 of da best

[@jonnnyren6245]

A restaurant called "probably chicken." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@donaldedward4951]

Trump is such rich material. This would go right over the head of many Americans and that makes if even funnier. The Art of the Deal. "I wanna wall with my name on it. Hadrian has one and he wasn`t even American".

[@nashsanadiki3104]

I love the Haji Podge. I was left at Home with my cousin when my parents when to Haji.

[@pauljmorton]

Is "boo khaki" a pun on "bukkake"? o.O

[@lizabethgussman331]

Lubbock is a nice city. In Lubbock, you can see forever.

[@tattben1207]

Not a big fan but I did like the bank of hope one.

[@johnpapa8681]

I didn't know I liked Bill Maher.

[@PeggyJame]

Comedy is essential

[@Alrukitaf]

Gratuitous.

[@Smedley1947]

@Smedley1947 1 second ago Here's a fun fact. Current Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh was on Starr's team during the investigation of Clinton and was the person who continually lobbied for the release of in detail description of what Clinton and Lewinsky did together. One of two things or possibly both would explain that. Either it was purely a prurient interest on his part or he knew that maximum damage would be done by revealing the dirtiest details. Frankly I think it's for his work for Starr that he was rewarded eventually with the Supreme Court seat much as the writer of the Powell memo was given a seat on the Supreme Court for his work on that document.

[@ricktd6891]

Ooo, parking in the driveway and driving on the Parkway joke. That's only 3 or 4 decades old.

[@codibick]

I lost it at "Bear ass"

[@MonsterbirdNation]

Hey, I have a piece of metal from the Pentagon. A relative got it while working disaster relief. It and several other pieces made their way into the equipment and bags they carried while relief efforts were carried out. Who doesn't have a piece at this point.

[@caseybledsoe770]

Did Rumsfeld keep the *only* piece?

[@kaziabir1]

How we have to joke about the looks of a murderer while his victim is dead and forgotten. RIP Trevor Martin.

[@kaziabir1]

If there was any true justice, he would be. Unfortunately, the republicans had to turn this political.

[@pamelacass9642]

Treyvon Martin.

[@rachellepeterson6225]

OMG! hilarious!

[@jacobgeist6580]

That really is what Lubbock looks like

[@mchlive6930]

I wish I could afford HBO. Cable has gotten insanely expensive. Internet too. It's like they think we should pay 200 a month for it.

[@MScorpioM]

Allahpalooza - that cracked me up 🤣🤣🤣

[@danp1471]

Did they seriously make an oreo like that? Im not gay but I would have bought that.

[@warmonk5915]

Dan P ya but I don’t think they sold it I think it was for show

[@CarolineChiasson]

3:15 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@glennhager900]

Happy Birthday, Bill Maher! January 20 also birthday of Kellyanne Conway and Nikki Haley

[@jacobzaranyika9334]

Stop instigating violence, I keep being told. That is what they told Mandela

[@supermojo9672]

Georges ZIMMERMAN has real personality issue.

[@chrissiebawn9357]

LOVE LOVE LOVE 😀🤣❤🇨🇦🇺🇸🌍🕊🙏🖖

[@perryrobles6813]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh Hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahh

[@Zeldarw104]

Ikr?! 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😅😄😃😀

[@supermojo9672]

Rest in peace karl

[@fmffn]

We need 2003 to 2007 new rules

[@liamshaughnessy6246]

Ha ha ha! Lol 😂 x2!

[@gbae636]

Just for the record zimmerman is white. Nothing about him is hispanic . White as the driven snow

[@jamesw9811]

New rules, old rules, they all rule! #meettherealdonaldtrump James wilson #BLUESTRAVELERwhoops James wilson

[@paulstillman2878]

That was hilarious.

[@penelopehunt2371]

Ouch ! Very good

[@petergreen2552]

Is my money safe here? I hope

[@adamhonestyanddecency5054]

He’s 100% right about Marilyn Monroe.

[@SIKE01]

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN's body double

[@EtherealAriel]

Friend prostitutes is very clever indeed

[@soroushshiri5592]

Im persian.WE ALSO WANT DEAL.

[@jakerbames9701]

I swear a turd falling out of the sky landing on my hand is more funny than Billie boy

[@c.d.dailey8013]

LMBO If the Korean sound like Gandam Style, then the Chinese sound like this song from Disney's Mulan. "Let's get down to business, to defeat the Huns! ..."

[@caseybledsoe770]

Allah-Palooza lol

[@craigcorson3036]

4:42 They got the Olympics logo wrong, too.

[@delcapslock100]

seems like he had much better writers in the past

[@milascave2]

error: well, this video just picked out his best lines and ignores all the other stuff. That is why it seems funnyer.

[@GiratinaofFury]

Actually, R Mc, he wasn't mad that the President said it, he was mad that the standard is that if Obama had said that, he would have been thrown out of office and torn to pieces as a traitor, but the current President has people lining up to say that he didn't just say it, despite evidence to the contrary.

[@anjelinavillalobos3973]

he was upset because when he said the same thing the was thrown off the air, and the standard was set higher for trump than if obama had said it

[@nammyohorengekyoooooo]

Yes seems a little sexist, obviously not many women writers on staff I'm guessing. But still a big maher fan.

[@trumpjonguno6994]

He IS one of the writers... You're just trying to sneak in a snarky insult.

[@Mevenda1]

We want deal!

[@paulhue86]

At least we’re clear that nobody would mistake Jorge Z for white?

[@freeman7296]

He can be funny when he sticks to comedy.

[@jacobgeist6580]

Actually a more accurate picture of Lubbock is an empty plain that spans for hundreds of miles in all directions

[@billgrandone3552]

Why don't they just out the "Conspiracy Theory" books on the Bullshit shelves?

[@GabrielGomez.]

04:57 hahahahahahahhaa 🤣🤣🤣