New Rule: All Scolds Day | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

[@robertcartier5088]

I was handing out candy at my GF's house a few years ago, and she had a young 20 something co-worker over to share in the fun. A young boy dressed as Superman rolls up the driveway in a wheelchair. As he is leaving with his candy, the co-worker says, _"Aw, that little boy in the wheelchair dressed as Superman was so cute!"_ . I looked over and said, _"He's not dressed as Superman, he's dressed as Christopher Reeve!"_ OMG, you shoulda seen the disgusted look I got! LOL Still one of my best dark jokes ever!

[@donpietruk1517]

That's effin hilarious. You have the same warped sense of humor me and my wife shared. The year the South Park episode about Satan's Hell on Earth Party came it inspired us to go to a Halloween party dressed as Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin and his wife. Most everyone laughed but we definitely got a few chilly receptions which I kept responding to in an Australian accent doing his documentary type overlay commentary. My wife kept saying "Dingo gawt mai usband"

[@robertcartier5088]

@@donpietruk1517 lol!

[@alteredbeast7145]

LOL

[@marylaney275]

That me spit out my tea! Lololol 😂

[@robertcartier5088]

@@marylaney275 Then my work is done here 😁

[@Happy-Trails-To-You]

As a conservative, I'm really starting to appreciate bills sense of humor. He has the ability to pull us all back together into common sense. That's where we need to be. All together now. None of this left and right b*******. Let's get together in the middle and find common ground.

[@jedwing]

As a left wing extremist I salute you and agree. Jeez, this is sad. Imagine what will happen when things get really bad. Yikes.

[@kathycoleman4648]

Totally agree with this. People are people and they need to put the energy they spend trying to police each other into strengthening the bonds within their own families and communities.

[@briane173]

And to think it only took roughly 14 years for society to collapse into tribalism and utter hatred for our countrymen. It's only because the extremists are hogging the megaphone and the rest of us aren't trying to yank it out of their hands. It IS possible to be a liberal without being a woke-ass snowflake that fell out of the sky over the Soviet Union. It IS possible to be a conservative without being a gun-toting, Confederate flag-waving, Trump-sucking MAGAdroid conspiracy theorist. I know -- because I haven't changed my position to comport with the ideological conventions of the day, and I still insist that we in this vast center between the two extremes outnumber both put together; we just haven't found our voice. Fortunately Bill Maher has his and isn't afraid to use it.

[@DB800187]

Agreed! I want to see the country more united again too. Focus on our similarities instead of our differences. Different political views shouldnt automatically divide us the way it has the past few years.

[@Alan-vg7cn]

Only if u admit the RIGHT has gone completely NUTS! MILLIONS OF Y'ALL BELIEVING HILLARY EATS CHILDREN AND NANCY SHOULD BE SLAUGHTERED. THE upcoming days should should strip your blinkers away, wake u the hell up and scare the shit out of you.

[@timmleonard111]

I loved when he pulled out a check from the patriarchy! 😂😂

[@thedude4682]

Had me in tears!

[@scottpurves]

I immediately sent the clip to my 20-something kids!

[@earthwormscrawl]

I was laughing until I realized that I was paying for that that check!

[@ll4680]

Liberals are always offended 😂

[@timmleonard111]

@@earthwormscrawl Good point! :(

[@masonkarr4329]

Bill Maher has become increasingly funnier in the last few years. He isn’t letting the cancel culture tell him he can be a comedian. He jokes on both political sides and I love it.

[@holeshothunter5544]

Mason Jarr?

[@Ucsd4life]

All he does is complain

[@NaticzkaKaminskaHenryDolphin]

I'm a millennial and I want to thank God for Bill Maher. The voice of reason and funny as hell at the same time! No other tv show host is more brilliant, funny, and capable of an insightful, honest, nuanced analysis of our reality! I hope Bill will live at least as long as the Queen, because when he is gone, only partisan fools will be left, and even if some won't be partisan, they won't be as funny as Bill.

[@phil5569]

THIS is why we love Bill Maher! Keep it coming Bill. You've been on a roll lately!

[@Sicaughtik]

roll*

[@saljablo2767]

We?

[@goldenvulture6818]

He's a national treasure

[@-scorpionox-]

@@saljablo2767 if you don't love Bill Maher then the comment doesn't apply to you. Not hard to figure out, genius.

[@TheVonMatrices]

@Phil 556 2:08 Who's "we"? Who died and made you the Great Pumpkin?

[@danielmims8467]

Best monolog I have heard in a very long time. Thank you Bill, we need more laughter in our society.

[@Viking_Luchador]

Unfortunately, that's a shield a lot of assholes hide behind

[@martianproductions997]

@@Viking_Luchador omg, yes lets not joke because some people might take it too far. Lets not laugh because we never know if the others are laughing with us or at us. Lets not lighten the mood because some people prefer to remain miserable and will take offense to your ability to find humor in dark places. Lets not be controversial in comedy because some people arent smart enough to get the message. Lets not have fun because the wrong people might also have fun. What a great way to live....

[@noex100]

@@martianproductions997 Let them be miserable. Their loss.

[@abglenn]

L lol l Ok I’ll

[@tsarfox3462]

Two of the reasons I love Bill: 1. He calls out idiots on both sides 2. He reminds us that those idiots probably make up about 20% of the country but, they never shut the hell up so everyone keeps listening to them out of fear

[@commandercaptain4664]

PREACH.

[@smulanx3]

more like 80%

[@tsarfox3462]

@@skinnybob6104 Yeah. It's what I like to call the man covered in shit phenomenon. Your position can be reasonable but, once a man covered in his own shit pipes up in defense of it you lose credibility.

[@rushmoresociety2577]

@@smulanx3 ::: And you kinda just proved the point. They are actually probably 5%, but they are loud, so you think they're 80%.

[@smulanx3]

@@rushmoresociety2577 yeah I get you, but I genuinely believe 80% of people are uneducated

[@brianlara6451]

This segment needs to be shown in every college classroom

[@scottlathrop66]

Until it got canceled.

[@lennonacid]

But he's a white 'cis' male, so they would turn him off immediately.

[@briane173]

It would just get shouted down and then the instructor who played it would be fired.

[@krwnsy]

And faculty rooms as well

[@Alan-vg7cn]

Simone Biles needs to own her bragging about being the G.O.A.T and then going out and CHOKING BIG TIME! Maybe then I'll listen to ANYTHING she has to say. Muhammad Ali bragged, backed it up, yet was big ENUF to go before the cameras and accept defeat EVERY TIME HE LOST!

[@stopandthinkaboutit8636]

For someone who says he doesn't care for kids, this may be is most heart felt message to the youth. Have fun!

[@SMSimon]

And don't have children, they're shitting, annoying monsters. 🙄

[@Ronindennis]

People who don't care about kids are usually the best for kids to be around with. Some of our greatest children's writers didn't care about kids, like Beatrix Potter and Roald Dahl, which gave them the right tone of voice and attitude for children.

[@meganbaker9116]

@@Ronindennis You may be right about that, but when it comes to people they actually have to deal with, kids love adults who are playful AND respectful. Not cloying, not condescending. Respectful. And fun.

[@kamalaharrisiswhite]

It's because you don't have to like kids to realize when they're being taken advantage of.

[@bethq1703]

You mean lacks any morals? How is that good for kids to be around. By the way it's Hallow's Eve. Time to reclaim it. Halloween is the Devil's holiday as famous Satanist, Anton La Vey called it. Why allow kids to dress up as dark demonic figures? Better to protect their souls and dress them as angels and saints on what is Hallow's Eve-Eve of the Saints. God bless. 🙏

[@davids1816]

As a liberal, I'm thankful that Bill is like WTF about the worst tendencies that we have.

[@onamattapeeya]

I'm a former Democrat turned independent and that's probably the main reason I watch him from time to time, not a huge fan but I do like how he roasts everybody equally

[@davids1816]

@@onamattapeeya 1st: totally get that. 2nd: It's more important than roasting. It's more like, whenever people exist in a self-created vacuum, they tend to get kind of ridiculous. I'm glad to say that the ridiculous on the left isn't Nazis and assaults on the government - but it doesn't mean that at some point being "woke" doesn't become self-parody.

[@myprotosskickass]

Same, I always see batshit Republicans on the far right then remember there are batshit crazies on the far left, thanks to Bill.

[@bryanbaumgartner5302]

I don't get it. He is highlighting the .0.0000001 of the democratic party. No one I know thinks or cares about this. Refocus

[@nickrockxu2113]

That is such a small Fringe of liberals that actually are offended by those stupid ass things he's talking about again it's the loud minority making the majority of liberals look bad

[@drumming619]

Thank You Bill for being the True Liberal we grew up being. Your voice is needed more than ever.

[@PetersPianoShoppe]

“Who died and made you the Great Pumpkin?” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@STT315]

Thank goodness people still exist like him because people need to relax.

[@hoffer54]

Everybody's wound up tight these days, getting a bit frightening.

[@churblefurbles]

He's the mouthpiece of corporate left, a containment mechanism.

[@astorreherrera6346]

BRILLIANT! As a Conservative & feel such happiness & relief & can start reconciling with my All Time Comedic/Cultural HERO. The Great Mr. Bill Maher!

[@simonlealbarria6550]

This was amazing... I almost died laughing... The check from the patriarchy and the participation trophy killed me!

[@cruizing]

Keep it coming, Bill! You are the voice of reasonable people out there and your voice gives courage to others to begin to raise theirs. I agree with you. It is the parents' fault that all these kids with fragile egos and who never heard the word "no" are running amok. It's time for the adults to take back the wheel.

[@amarissimus29]

I heard that refrain two years ago. It didn't work.

[@cruizing]

@@amarissimus29 well, we have to keep trying 🙂. A tipping point is bound to arrive. Otherwise, that will be the sign that people in North America have turned into fearful sheep

[@johntruxal432]

You are aware he pushed vaccine mandate hysterics , recession prayers and sellout squad support...

[@hadiki1234]

How much does HBO cost?

[@bobklahn42]

How old are you?

[@shescraftea9107]

I haven't laughed so much in ages. I'm going as Bill Maher this year!

[@SMSimon]

"But you're what's wrong with his generation " has shockingly not been a reply to your comment? Come on internet! Step your clutched pearls game up already! 😆 🤣

[@DaveE99]

You could just go as “The unmasked”

[@shescraftea9107]

@@DaveE99 I go as that everyday!

[@SenneVorsselmans]

I am rightwing but I watch almost all of Bill's videos. He proves that our sides can lie closer on a lot of opinions then the media makes it look.

[@hobogreg9655]

You might not be as right wing as you think ;)

[@michlo3393]

We are led to believe the divide between the left and right is an ocean, when 90% of the time it's just a dry creek bed.

[@frankromeo3351]

I am more left wing and I agree with you. The media hypes up the most extreme opinions on both sides, and they do this for their own objectives.

[@RoySATX]

Say that at the next Vegans With Vaginas Retreat and see how well you fare.

[@aaronbrideau2988]

This is one of the best Bill Maher bits I have seen in a long time. Well done.

[@TheDartsPub]

Who knew that the hobo costume my Mom dressed me up every Halloween would be considered "hobophobic" today? 🙂

[@beauwalker9820]

You win.

[@vain5243]

I see what you did there

[@georgesvanbaelen6492]

😂😂😂

[@Illmatic662]

Another awesome New Rules, keep fighting the good fight Bill.

[@planetscorpio8147]

I love when Bill brings props for his jokes. That was awesome

[@cioccolateriaveneziana]

Me too. I'm just surprised that facemasks are supposed to be Gen Z props... Where I live, the Gen Z were the most antimask, antivax, antiregulations folks...

[@pdcdesign9632]

Bill is still funny and relevant after all these years. Zillennials are goofy kids.

[@briansounalath]

Yeah he’s a prop comic

[@introspective_af]

@@cioccolateriaveneziana where do you live? Gen Z is the only ones still wearing masks near us 🤣

[@mjkittredge]

go full carrot top mode

[@bryanfuchs176]

“I have my Klonopin to take the edge off, and my Adderall to put it back on.” 😂 💀

[@matthewmaccaughey5016]

"Who's We? What's with the we? Who died and made you the Great Pumpkin?" - I don't know why, but I am in absolute love with this line.

[@joewalters2259]

What you see with Bill is a person who isn’t afraid to call out BS on both sides of the political spectrum. It will be a sad day when he is gone because the comedians and show hosts of today are afraid of cancel culture, he takes it head on and flips them the one finger salute. He is one of the few comedians left who understand poking fun at all sides including your own, is the core of being a great comedian.

[@asecretturning]

False.

[@asecretturning]

​@Savior Money Accurate.

[@sethwetzel974]

I'll probably be banned for this but check out the Greg Gutfeld show on Fox news channel. Week nights at 11 pm. Best late night since Carson!!!!!!!

[@CRanapia]

Uh, really? If Bill Maher really wants to talk about "woke scolds" he should look in the mirror - because it really seems like his writing process is cruising the internet for trivial bullshit to get faux-triggered by while sitting on the toilet, waiting for his morning Metameucil-and-vodka smoothie to kick in.

[@gavinwigg8057]

I'm a conservative-leaning libertarian and I'm listening to Bill far more than ever.

[@clskinny6622]

Preach it Bill, I'm tired of people messing with my favorite holiday.

[@bethq1703]

By the way it's Hallow's Eve. Time to reclaim it. Halloween is the Devil's holiday as famous Satanist, Anton La Vey called it. Why allow kids to dress up as dark demonic figures? Better to protect their souls and dress them as angels and saints on what is Hallow's Eve-Eve of the Saints. God bless. 🙏

[@vapeurdepisse]

My kid's school has cancelled Halloween altogether (no costumes allowed). The town is also celebrating a "fall festival". The PTO is collecting money for a "winter holiday" gift for the teachers. Yes I'm looking to move out.

[@Hollowsmith]

In the 1980's on Halloween night when I was about 8 years old, I was walking down a quiet corner on the edge of the neighborhood to go to more houses ahead (and since it was the 80's, I was with 4 or 5 other kids about my age and zero parents). When all of a sudden, two full grown men sprung out of the woods with gorilla masks on with two extremely loud real chainsaws buzzing towards our head covered in blood (which I realized years later likely had no actual chains on them). We screamed in terror and cried and ran for our lives. When I got home, I told my parents. They laughed and thought it was a really funny gag by a couple of the local dads. They didn't care who it was. They didn't hurt us, they just did a crazy Halloween thing we'd always remember. And looking back on it, it's one of the most vivid and awesome Halloween memories I have, because it was genuinely scary, while also being totally harmless other than some passing fear. Today of course, the gorilla mask would be deemed as racist, the crying kids' parents would sue the prankster dads for PTSD, and the entire prank would have been impossible because the kids would have been surrounded by 15 parents in a safety bubble the entire evening. Why are we surprised when kids like that grow up to turn into such brittle spirits as adults? A child of nonstop agreeable conditions as a kid leads to a really pathetic generation of adults.

[@g.d.graham2446]

"The stick that goes up my ass" I DIED at that line 😂😆😂

[@BigBadJerryRogers]

The Halloween costume police are definitely some of the lowest hanging fruit of the social justice league.

[@cynthiabelknap8655]

Omg me too!!!!!!!! I almost choked!!!

[@jeffreyamster6020]

Bill just out-carrot topped Carrot Top

[@truelight2097]

Savage

[@aljirou29]

Lying Bill Maher is pretending he isn't a huge part of the problem. You want to get back to reason and truth? How about blackface? Got Megyn Kelly fired for suggesting it's not a big deal (it isn't). How about tearing down statues without our consent? How about rioting and looting and burning based on fake news or demanding like actual domestic terrorists? How about censoring opposing views on COVID or the 2020 election? How about firing people for not taking a vaccine? Halloween costumes are easy. Bill's been a part of all of the above yet now wants us all to believe he isn't a primary cause of the problem, saying use violence or threats to get your way often based on fake history/news. What a clown.

[@DeftRose]

As someone in their 20's, none of this is ever a problem if you lived your entire life without social media. Hilarious segment 😅

[@Scaash]

Or Had Gen X Parents LOL.

[@popireal3628]

@@Scaash that part

[@lennonacid]

Social Media is disease.

[@ninvusoogoar6098]

@@Pasta_watcher no plenty do go without social media. im 31 and ive never had a facebook or myspace account. friends made me a few twitter accounts but i refused to use them. the only thing i use you could technically consider social media is discord servers when im gaming. no snap chat, no tik tok, nothing. it has worked so far for me.

[@FlintIronstag23]

@@Scaash The vast majority of people who are in their 20s (born 1992-2002) have Gen-X parents (born 1964-1981). As a Gen-Xer, I'm not sure what happened when it came to child rearing.

[@emuguru]

That’s the Bill Maher I grew up listening to, love it

[@amysanchez3699]

I went one year as a geisha and my friend went as black batman. This was back in 2008 when no one cared. My mom went as Tina Turner, using slightly darker foundation-- to work with mostly black coworkers... who kept "doo'a, do do do'ing" throughout the day. I want those chill days back.

[@kathrinetownsend9744]

Thank you, Bill. So sick of their judging anyone, but the folks who should be judged.

[@XenoGuru]

You have to remember though; these people are a very small minority of internet tribalists. The internet makes it seem like they're everywhere because it's vast. But you'll probably pass by one only once a week at most in public. And even then; they're not going to speak out about anything because they'll get roasted and humiliated in public AND on the internet. They stay where they're safe; behind a screen in isolation.

[@saintkevinofficial]

This is one of your best New Rule segments! Great job!💯

[@antonnym214]

BRILLIANT! Bill says what we're all thinking, and he says it in such a funny way! All good wishes.

[@tbone9912]

At a party one time as a joke I actually convinced a guy in a Thor costume that I, as a Scandinavian, found his costume offensive and that my people's religious and cultural history wasn't a costume. He got upset about his faux pas and insensitivity until he realized I was just joking. Then we both had a good laugh and smoked a joint. LOL!

[@shantanukhandkar]

I hope he learned something

[@asecretturning]

Wow, you're a sociopath. Congratulations?

[@KrisH-bt5cm]

You should have slapped him and told him to be a man.

[@aeromtb2468]

awesome

[@zapfanzapfan]

As a fellow Scandinavian I totally approve, I have been waiting for the right moment to call "cultural appropriation" on Marvel 🙂

[@sebastiaanstok]

This year I'm going dressed as the most scary thing you can image right now. An energy bill!

[@irishmuse000]

So nice to have a voice of reason to come back to once a week. This world is getting crazier by the day.

[@lindaghirardi838]

Drummer Jimmy, I agree but I never thought that voice of reason would come from Bill. Very refreshing, funny and spot on!

[@ScottyKirk1]

@@lindaghirardi838 Liberals went off the rails way too far to the left, and Bill is still an old school liberal. As the saying goes "I didn't leave the Democrat party, the Democrat party left me" This is a common sentiment. As the Dems and the economy crashes and burns, we have a leader that says everything is fine and dandy, but the other side will make it worse.....

[@lindaghirardi838]

@@ScottyKirk1 You are right! My husband said he was railing on Trump today, about the violence that's happening in the country. They can't let it go! Everything is Trump's fault. These are definitely crazy times.

[@sydbarrett5975]

The ending costume gag was spot on! Bravo, Bill.

[@josephcohen7985]

Right on the money Bill! Love you and your writing staff

[@minagica]

I wish he was always on the money but he can't be perfect 🤣🤣🤣

[@lennonacid]

@@minagica Most of the time he is correct, but yeah, sometimes he misses the mark. But today he spot on!

[@AztecHusBone]

My wife and I did the Handmaids Tale this year. We switched it up though. I was the Handmaid, and my wife was the Commander. It was a huge hit at the Halloween party!

[@mastrtonberry2]

That's actually really cringy but I'm glad it worked out for you

[@Godblesslaci]

@@mastrtonberry2 cringy? Nah, depends on who you are 🤷‍♀️

[@Zennofobic]

how did you switch things up? Your wife IS the commander isn't she?

[@AztecHusBone]

@@Zennofobic true

[@harlleygurrola8394]

That must've been fun: there are Male Handmaid costumes?I wouldn't look Good [in one)] LOL: I wonder who the Tiexcoco was... P.S. Must've been a grand party

[@CoastalAngler688]

Bill is killing it! The voice of reason in an age of insanity.

[@aljirou29]

The only thing Bill is killing is his role in creating the problem. Bill is one of worst offenders and takes advantage of your not remembering. All he's done is either condone or actively cheer censorship and cancellation of anyone the left doesn't like. Hell with him. Biggest liar of all time. Rewrites history whenever caught so he doesn't need to admit he's wrong. I'll bet when we prove the fraud in 2020 he'll be up there claiming he always thought there was something fishy about it. Bill Maher has no business setting new rules. He's about as far from the truth as it gets.

[@aljirou29]

Lying Bill Maher is pretending he isn't a huge part of the problem. You want to get back to reason and truth? How about blackface? Got Megyn Kelly fired for suggesting it's not a big deal (it isn't). How about tearing down statues without our consent? How about rioting and looting and burning based on fake news or demanding like actual domestic terrorists? How about censoring opposing views on COVID or the 2020 election? How about firing people for not taking a vaccine? Halloween costumes are easy. Bill's been a part of all of the above yet now wants us all to believe he isn't a primary cause of the problem, saying use violence or threats to get your way often based on fake history/news. What a clown.

[@asecretturning]

Not at all, actually. Just because you fawn over him doesn't mean you're an authority on reason, obviously.

[@tomshea8382]

He's just a Republican apologist who likes smoking weed.

[@KatHazelton]

So funny and I agree 100%! I am British and I think the Queen is an excellent costume and a nice tribute! 👏👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jobsmine]

Bill it’s the only one keeping me sane lately. Brilliant skit, keep it up HBO.

[@aljirou29]

Lying Bill Maher is pretending he isn't a huge part of the problem. You want to get back to reason and truth? How about blackface? Got Megyn Kelly fired for suggesting it's not a big deal (it isn't). How about tearing down statues without our consent? How about rioting and looting and burning based on fake news or demanding like actual domestic terrorists? How about censoring opposing views on COVID or the 2020 election? How about firing people for not taking a vaccine? Halloween costumes are easy. Bill's been a part of all of the above yet now wants us all to believe he isn't a primary cause of the problem, saying use violence or threats to get your way often based on fake history/news. What a clown.

[@thefurywithin5412]

I absolutely love how this man tears into my generation. I'm not ashamed to be Gen Z, but I do love to laugh at the crazy people in my and every generation. Thank you for making fun of everyone, even if that someone is me.

[@slayedtorest]

It’s not really as friendly as you might think. This guy literally hates you and everyone else your age.

[@willchurch8376]

I feel the costume scolds emerged when Gen Z was still in school, so millennials ought to be feeling this one too.

[@Mercutiossword]

@@willchurch8376younger millennials are the exact same kind of pain in the ass

[@Skabanis]

@@slayedtorest not more than the self hate these generation have

[@batswbennett]

@@slayedtorest Oh give it a rest, Nancy'

[@hdnft4633]

Liberal through and through and this segment was the relief medicine I needed after work. Thank you!

[@jedwing]

Same.

[@atarileaf]

That's because this is not a liberal problem, it's a shrill, screeching brain dead leftist problem

[@srlnee6445]

"Liberal through and through", what the fuck does that even mean, that you're a liberal with Jizz on top? lol. We get it, you can skip the through and through.

[@joedoe783]

I'm liberal as well. Just uncomfortable with the puritanism that's rife in our own side. I want the cool, street-wise, savvy liberals back.

[@joedoe783]

@Adam Jacobs I'll go with this old-school definition: a supporter of policies that are socially progressive and promote social welfare.

[@williambryan3346]

@02:15 “Who died and made you the Great Pumpkin?” Sweet reference to Charlie Brown. 🤣

[@ramdinsangasaiawi7581]

"Its your parents' fault. They over-protected you and now you are these a**holes" Nailed it, Bill 😂

[@valeenoi2284]

Ya, I went around with a fake decapitated cow head and some of my ethnic neighbors got really upset. Those parents, right?

[@LordMaskin]

@@valeenoi2284 hurry, get your emotional support animal, and coloring book; I can tell you are triggered.

[@valeenoi2284]

@@LordMaskin Look who took the bait. 😂😂 I get it. Cows are scared to you. You can always sticking to your bowl of rice.

[@gmikes5184]

child i been saying that for forever. tho i will say w millenials its getting OLD because were OLD lmaoo like oldest of us are early 40s. and vast majority are somewhere in 30s. seems a lot of population think Zers are millenials. if they under 25 they are Z. but heres a convo ive had w multiple ppl but first time i ever had it. mom: your generation is so entitled and lazy me: B who raised us? maybe looking in the Fing mirror and hold some accountability for the monsters you created then. 😒 _and yes_ *exactly* how i talked to her haha 👌 but i dont talk to her anymore nor do my 2 sisters. they never talked to her that way tho. legit toxic untreated mentally ill (BPD) parent who good intentions def paved her path to hell. ive grown/healed/matured a ton sense. anywho lmaoo

[@haikchalian]

Your family got nailed

[@anabanana3857]

I’m glad I came of age as GenX. An idiot elementary teacher in Cali said I was a loser 😂 and I got no participation trophies. But when I got awards for other things I knew I deserved them. There were bitter losses, lots of tears, lots of triumphs, and an ability to handle the ups and downs without cracking.

[@SWLinPHX]

Gen-X FTW!

[@donnydomingo9962]

@vmehta2002 - Actually we didn't have any cell phones, and didn't really have any computers until the 80s. We'd go outside and roam around unsupervised, and believe me, we had a gazillion was to find and get into trouble.

[@anabanana3857]

@vmehta2002 lol hater 😂

[@anabanana3857]

@vmehta2002 you too!

[@erikcareswell6768]

Thank you , Bill, once again, for reminding people what sanity sounds like.

[@giantsr1eva]

@Erik Careswell He’s not going to be one of the offensive Halloween costumes. Bill finally got a chance to say screw you to cancel culture and failed miserably.

[@aljirou29]

Uh yeah no. All he's done is either condone or actively cheer censorship and cancellation of anyone the left doesn't like. Hell with him. Biggest liar of all time. Rewrites history whenever caught so he doesn't need to admit he's wrong. I'll bet when we prove the fraud in 2020 he'll be up there claiming he always thought there was something fishy about it. Bill Maher has no business setting new rules. He's about as far from the truth as it gets.

[@aljirou29]

Lying Bill Maher is pretending he isn't a huge part of the problem. You want to get back to reason and truth? How about blackface? Got Megyn Kelly fired for suggesting it's not a big deal (it isn't). How about tearing down statues without our consent? How about rioting and looting and burning based on fake news or demanding like actual domestic terrorists? How about censoring opposing views on COVID or the 2020 election? How about firing people for not taking a vaccine? Halloween costumes are easy. Bill's been a part of all of the above yet now wants us all to believe he isn't a primary cause of the problem, saying use violence or threats to get your way often based on fake history/news. What a clown.

[@KorpsePaintKlown]

‘The stick to go up my ass’ that one got me 😂😂

[@heyWhatWho]

Bills on fire lately. Great episode. Only comedian on TV that makes fun of both sides.

[@barbaralee7385]

I have been in retail for years and I can say that out of all the holidays we celebrate Halloween is the only one that I have seen where people are truly happy. I cannot wait until Thanksgiving, Christmas and Valentines Day are over. All of those so called happy occasions are anything but for many people. I have seen the stress and meanness come out of people during those holidays. They are worried about money and not having the right gifts. Can they afford to feed people? Who will they offend if they don’t? On Valentines Day I’ve seen people scrounging together what money they had to at least try to buy their partners something nice even though they really couldn’t afford it. But Halloween is another matter entirely. People dress up and cut loose and they are so happy doing it. My fondest memories from childhood are from Halloween. I love this time of year because I see so many people that are genuinely enjoying themselves. So whiners and complainers can pass me with their bullshit cause its party time!

[@MelanieNLee]

Barbara Lee: Your post is a revelation. Thank you.

[@MelanieNLee]

Consider publishing this comment as a letter to the editor in your local newspaper.

[@eh5945]

Agree 100% - After Halloween, I want to hibernate for the rest of the year, maybe peak out for the new year if I'm awake but I will happily disappear again until Valentine's is over 😜

[@randomguy2809]

Honestly they should move Valentines day to June and let us have a break during the holiday season.

[@cynthiaraya1390]

MS. BARBARA🖤🧡💚💜👏👏👏👏👏💜💚🧡🖤🤝🎃🌻💛 THANK YOU, DEAR!!!

[@dgs8011]

Hobo, the fallback costume for every child forever. LOL. So, so true. I know I used it 2 or 3 years at least.

[@onamattapeeya]

Me too, and it can be modified, put on a striped shirt then you're a prison inmate, they're going to do right and you're a pirate, the only limits are your own imagination LOL and how many Sharpies you have

[@BigBadJerryRogers]

Aren't hobos the transients who prefer that lifestyle anyway? Not people who are legitimately down and out and in pain on the streets, that's why the costume was cool.

[@Blurb777]

Bill Maher is a breath of fresh air.

[@MrLightingGeek]

The literal wet blanket at the end sells the whole bit. Love it!

[@geo525252]

Keep bringing it hard Bill. These people need to be mocked and ridiculed without mercy

[@rogeryoung9934]

I never thought I’d be siding with Bill Maher, times are truly strange. lol

[@lrsco]

I’m as old as Bill and Halloween costumes were never a problem until recently. In the 70’s the scariest thing was to be the bravest to go to the isolated old house that had just the porch light on and one strangely carved pumpkin next to the old cracked steps.

[@Old-Skull.]

nothing was never a problem till now , we had a precious path to walk and left behind issues from the past , our parents started to walk that path and we continue in the search of a better society and a better world , of course that it's always a walk in progress but we were doing it well , in an organically way , giving time to those who were on the conservative side to accept the things that were good for all , a society need the conservative aspect , being conservative doesn't means be retrograde , in my opinion , I'm from the left side , but sometimes is good to have some space and time for reflexion , cause we don't know everything and result that sometimes conservatives bring something needed to the common life , things like tradition ,values and morals , things that sometimes when you are young and impetuous you want to throw out of the window . but now with technologies and our bad parenting we are screwing all of it , I'm totally agree with Maher , is not Gen Z fault is ours to not tell them STFU yeah I miss those days too .😉

[@Zac_Frost]

That was the way it was when I was little in the early 2000s. My friends and I would bet each other half our total candy to try the spooky house.

[@ellenhart6172]

Racism wasn’t a problem in the 70’s either. It was totally acceptable

[@mulder006]

Ahhh, the good old days. In the 80''s the scariest thing was getting pennies or peanuts for treats.

[@0blivioniox864]

You cant even begin to compare 70s society vs today. Total apples and oranges. Trends in today's society are literally steered by whoever's tweet was the woke'est and got the most likes.

[@Bruceybaby2009]

Loved the props at the end! “The stick that goes up my ass” 😂

[@86oldbehave]

The crazy thing is who gets offended. I saw a video with a man dressed in traditional Mexican clothes and asked people if they were offended and every single white person was absolutely offended but then he asked a group of Mexican men and they all said no absolutely not! They take it as a compliment

[@PudgyCurmudgeon]

Imitation has been said to be the greatest form of flattery.

[@keithkarvelis82]

Modern left in a nutshell. White liberals are offended on behalf of minorities who aren't offended. So pathetic.

[@li0882]

Hahaa...yeahh us mexicans dont get offended by those things... we tend to laugh and bully each other ...thats just our culture...were chill😌

[@hankbunyon8654]

😂😂White shame

[@robinthrush9672]

You should see the reactions of interviews with Japanese people about samurai, geisha, and sumo costumes. Exactly the same as those Mexicans.

[@smoothc911]

BEST Maher in a while, and I always enjoy his stuff!

[@t.and.mblissful9657]

As a parent of just such a Gen-z'er, your portrayal was spot-on. This accuracy had me both laughing and feeling ashamed. I'd like to believe that "we" as parents didn't cause this generation to be as 'stick-in-the-ass' as they are.... but if not the "parents" then who or what is to blame?!? How could someone, that just laughed all the way through your monologue be responsible for the very thing you were mocking...

[@trentman9763]

cuz in reality, you didn't raise your kids as much as you think, society did. It's not your fault though no one was fully aware of the long ranging and growing effects of rapidly changing media and technology.

[@hectorgonzalez5030]

Because everyone is on edge that someone online wiill come after them and cancel them for some mistake

[@jonr4164]

You and the rest of these parents doing this, make excuses for yourselves and them, where's the accountability. Simply to minimise drama, you're all going to fk up generations of your family and society, by teaching them to be overly opinionated, self-entitled leeches and that its acceptable. Loving a kid isn't conditional, or about bein nice. It's about giving them the skills to stand on their own to feet and their own bank account. I had to work at 14 and skip school to do it and nobody gave a fk if i was starving before, or after. I'm now 40ish and I don't blame my family, that would be a lack of education and understanding. IF your kids choose to think that, then that's on them, not on you/me but you haven't tried by the sound of it. I ain't a victim and neither are your kids, we lay in the bed we make anyone who disagrees is ignorant clown.

[@Nicoleth]

I think social justice has become the new religion, it’s not your fault. More what they’re exposed to online

[@rybaneightsix5085]

@@trentman9763 nonsense. Any parent that doesn't take enough interest in their child's development has already failed.

[@NewMessage]

When my coworker referred to her zombie costume as a 'differently animated person', I knew Halloween was over.

[@BigBadJerryRogers]

😆 come on you are making that up

[@clemcadiddlehopper5706]

It sounds like that George Carlin joke

[@caronstout354]

Every church in my town has "Trunk or Treat" events in the week before Halloween.

[@tjohannam]

😂😂

[@scottwhitehead4467]

Holy crap. That was an amazing New Rules segment. Binging on these lately, and this one is one of the best and funniest.

[@ezg2000]

The fact that Bill had to remind people what Halloween is all about is just sad.

[@spencerableman2281]

think this is literally one of the best comedy segments i’ve ever seen. thanks bud

[@grainofsaltdashofinsanity9493]

Sarcastic genius! Love it. Thanks for the levity, laughter & logic!!!!

[@davidmaine]

Beyond all the jokes and laughs you speak the truth.

[@kongzilla9962]

@@madisynissaquah243 same goes with your idealism

[@kongzilla9962]

@@madisynissaquah243 that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard

[@kongzilla9962]

@@madisynissaquah243 I don't quote others it shows a lack of intelligence and is just lazy.

[@kongzilla9962]

@@madisynissaquah243 that's a prayer not a quote

[@kongzilla9962]

@@madisynissaquah243 idc I don't pray no need to

[@prethivee]

The check from the patriarchy 😂😂😂

[@vanessaruiz6481]

That was my fave too. #allofus

[@leviallen7298]

The last minute had me cracking up! Being in high school, I see so many kids that fit that description.

[@markfrost2707]

Uh huuuUUUUhhhh

[@jonathankozenko]

I just wanted to be the one to thank Real Time for calling this segment "Cancelvania" - excellent play on words there! -- On that note, also appreciate his shout-out to The Great Pumpkin! (and the Monologue itself was great)

[@Leamichellefan2244]

I’ve been loving him lately and this is just another reason why.

[@coreymay918]

"Your parents ruined you." Truer words were never spoken

[@fuzzebaehr]

Yeah I love the whole older generations shitting on the younger generations when they're the ones that made them that way... it wasn't the kids handing out participation trophies... he glossed over that point REAL quick..

[@MythicTyrant]

These segments are as accurate as they are hilarious. Thank you, Bill! 😊

[@aljirou29]

it would be accurate if Bill admitting his role in creating the problem. Bill is one of worst offenders and takes advantage of your not remembering. All he's done is either condone or actively cheer censorship and cancellation of anyone the left doesn't like. Hell with him. Biggest liar of all time. Rewrites history whenever caught so he doesn't need to admit he's wrong. I'll bet when we prove the fraud in 2020 he'll be up there claiming he always thought there was something fishy about it. Bill Maher has no business setting new rules. He's about as far from the truth as it gets.

[@aljirou29]

Lying Bill Maher is pretending he isn't a huge part of the problem. You want to get back to reason and truth? How about blackface? Got Megyn Kelly fired for suggesting it's not a big deal (it isn't). How about tearing down statues without our consent? How about rioting and looting and burning based on fake news or demanding like actual domestic terrorists? How about censoring opposing views on COVID or the 2020 election? How about firing people for not taking a vaccine? Halloween costumes are easy. Bill's been a part of all of the above yet now wants us all to believe he isn't a primary cause of the problem, saying use violence or threats to get your way often based on fake history/news. What a clown.

[@beachlife1498]

That cut over to her was the absolute most perfect timing. She looked quite uncomfortable. 😂

[@bluewave3417]

Bill in these new rules segments is like Jordan in the 4th quarter. He comes ready to play.

[@BillyRicker92]

Best closing monologue of 2022, your the man Bill, people need to stop judging the costumes we wear, Halloween is supposed to be about expressing yourself and having fun and it’s ridiculous we’ve gotten to this point.

[@fernando90090]

Seasons not over

[@cioccolateriaveneziana]

@@fernando90090 I hope so!

[@aljirou29]

Bill is one of worst offenders and takes advantage of your not remembering. All he's done is either condone or actively cheer censorship and cancellation of anyone the left doesn't like. Hell with him. Biggest liar of all time. Rewrites history whenever caught so he doesn't need to admit he's wrong. I'll bet when we prove the fraud in 2020 he'll be up there claiming he always thought there was something fishy about it. Bill Maher has no business setting new rules. He's about as far from the truth as it gets.

[@aljirou29]

Lying Bill Maher is pretending he isn't a huge part of the problem. You want to get back to reason and truth? How about blackface? Got Megyn Kelly fired for suggesting it's not a big deal (it isn't). How about tearing down statues without our consent? How about rioting and looting and burning based on fake news or demanding like actual domestic terrorists? How about censoring opposing views on COVID or the 2020 election? How about firing people for not taking a vaccine? Halloween costumes are easy. Bill's been a part of all of the above yet now wants us all to believe he isn't a primary cause of the problem, saying use violence or threats to get your way often based on fake history/news. What a clown.

[@brandondockery2617]

@vmehta2002 I have a line, but I don’t push it on other people. Judgmental ass holes are horrible to deal with, irregardless of party affiliation.

[@ceofounder]

New Rule, real time, Bill Maher awesomeness!

[@yishairashi793]

man, this is like watching "Married With Children" back in the day (bill made an appearance once) pure hilarity and audience loudly cheering

[@pshehan1]

Great clip. Was just chatting by email with my American friend from when I worked in the US about how this bit American cultural imperialism was not a feature of my childhood here. Australia. (She gets my Australian wry sense of humor so does not take offense but it took her a while. We insult our mates on a regular basis.) I noted that at least in my neighbourhood you put a balloon on your gate if you want to be pestered by pre-pubescent extortionists. We are also infested with wokeness but it has not yet reached the levels of insanity over there. I will send her a link to this video. In all seriousness let me say that I really enjoyed my time in the US and found the people friendly welcoming and generous. Lorie took me home for thanksgiving and I explained we do not have that here because our first settlers were sent out in chains and not particularly grateful for the experience. One of my ancestors was transported for stealing a book worth tuppence at the age of 11. So at least I come from an intellectual line of thieves. We have therefore not been burdened with the idea that we should be a shining beacon for humanity, but from unpromising beginnings we seem to have made a pretty good job of things and should be grateful.

[@Eduk8r738]

I remember when novels like The Giver and Fahrenheit 451 were horrifying and impossible to imagine becoming reality. Now, they've become guidebooks and how-to manuals for the Zellenials.

[@harlleygurrola8394]

They are not burning books... yet, but Yeah: They (the wokies) are killing fun

[@nodopamine6243]

Cameraman has a sense of humor at the blonde wig part.

[@bossgandy]

I felt the same!

[@AndroidCovenant]

The control room*

[@viniciusmauger3507]

same page haha

[@amahana6188]

Bill once again knocking it out of the park.

[@marktwainlover]

Love this! Laughed so many times at this segment...

[@NetoLA10]

Thank you Bill!!!! Best New Rule of the season 🔥🔥

[@lennonacid]

And does anyone still take Buzzfeed seriously anymore? In fact, did they ever?

[@NetoLA10]

@@lennonacid Probably not

[@Annie-lu5rt]

Bill is comic genius!! Thanks for the laughs Bill.

[@karaokekydOmaha]

A few years ago, my costume was “a millennial”. I created a “dress” out of bubble wrap (to wear over my regular dress) plastered with stickers like “fragile”, “handle with care”, and “where’s my participation trophy?” I wore a hat that said “easily offended” and carried a “safe space kit” with coloring books, crayons, and more bubble wrap for popping.

[@PrimoStracciatella]

Great idea! Was anybody offended?

[@lquidgrl]

@@PrimoStracciatella 🤣

[@lizhannan6709]

OMG!!! Funny, funny, funny!!! You made me laugh!! I hope everyone got a good laugh at your costume!

[@trildi]

@Rita Loomis Great idea for a product line right there 😆

[@LindaC616]

Don't forget the weighted blanket

[@ambassador8524]

I like this guy and his takes on stuff.

[@lauran5292]

I love this!!!! So cathartic to listen to this! Right on with the message!

[@KairaMithra]

“Of course it’s not your lawn because you still live with your parents.” 🤣🤣🤣

[@TheAweigle]

Thanks bill for an entertaining commentary about Halloween costumes.

[@jenniferh8961]

Fantastic! Bravo Bill! 🎃 I agree wholeheartedly!! We used to love Halloween, so much fun to be anyone!! 😃

[@perfectlyawkward1326]

I grew up in the 90s, he's right all of it is harmless fun and we are getting too soft

[@petem3883]

Maher goofing on the wokies is a bowl of Halloween candy that never runs out.

[@Beedulgi99]

Bill always cracks me up 🤣 love the guy

[@Jgleason23]

This might be Bill’s best New Rule of all time

[@tedspens]

I used to get slightly offended by some of Bill Maher's views on Democrats, but then I realized "why" I felt offended. Thank you, Bill. You saved me from being, you know.... that person. Happy Halloween! 🎃🎃

[@Dustinwhy8]

“Why” is a powerful concept. Welcome to the club of free thinkers!

[@avedic]

I'm very liberal.......and it irks me how much my liberal friends despise Maher. So what....he's an older guy who isn't as woke as the kids. So? He's a liberal.....who gets that in order to win, liberals need to stop losing stupid culture wars. We're giving up power to authoritarians....in order to defend taboos basically. I don't always agree with Maher...I think he's a little dense on some subjects. But so what? His heart and head are in the right place....and he understands average Americans FAR better than Pelosi or Maddow. Hell.....even Obama seems to have a pretty good grasp of the absurdities within the liberal world. He's smart and understands we're hobbling ourselves and losing to an adversary that should be EASY to defeat. I wish the DNC and the liberal media at large would take a cue from Maher and Obama on this stuff. I'm very very pro-trans rights. BUT.....if we lose elections, then worrying about which pronouns people call you will be the least of your concerns. Liberals need to internalize the concept of prioritization and the notion of playing the long game politically.

[@beneads5]

Thank you, Bill! We need more fun!!!