Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 9-27-18

[@Coconutscott]

Podcast starts at 0:00 .

[@mitchellcumsteen9220]

Coconutscott You tell those sports hating, un-murican,non-hetero pussies what time it is!

[@Jezza_C_WT]

You the real mvp

[@Coconutscott]

KZbinhasaids Thanks buddy, but you know it was a team effort....

[@Ghryst]

thanks Coconuttedonmychest, this unamerican, yankeee-sports-hating, nohomomofo aussie appreciates it. real sports require more than one ball (your left AND your right)

[@MrMaximum91]

Doing the Lord's work, bless you

[@geebuddy4]

oh Billy, we are just checking in on you too

[@misund3rst0od10]

Billy, bill not really.

[@oedipamaas2067]

i cry evertime

[@ronheiman4654]

Saw him in Dallas looked like he didn't want to be there

[@Cabella12345]

Ron Heiman was it a good show?

[@karaboblennies8293]

@@ronheiman4654 ssmsssseesks srkskr nesrkkbs$)(3(4$($#)( bsssssseese sr

[@jackwood8307]

I sleep well at night knowing that the peace and love of St Bill is raining down on us!

[@adriangonzalez1171]

Hahahaha the jump from superman's eyes to stem cell research almost made me spit out my dinner

[@uriahshetler576]

40:56 We need Bill to react to some videos. He is so hilarious. Finding something wrong every 5 seconds. 😂 I love it

[@mahmoudjube7800]

........................................................... 0😊

[@soyzilla138]

@Bill Burr This podcast restored my love for the Monday morning podcast. Thanks Bill

[@forddriver8827]

I prefer the Thursday (just before friday) podcast.

[@tamie341]

@@forddriver8827 What's the difference?

[@TheSquash]

That Vampire Price Is Right bit actually had me rolling.

[@msmith42001]

Why you going to Indianapolis Bill?

[@joepermenter7228]

Patriots are playing The Colts. Automatic publicity.

[@1980process]

Lol...

[@andjamoo]

I just listened to that and I was dying hahaha

[@robleymcdonnell]

Running out of the room like they saw a witch

[@rodgygormin]

bill burr and norm macdonald are the two best comedians alive. they appear to be great human beings too.

[@lo-fireviews2693]

Add Owen Benjamin to that list. The rest are SJW promoting comedy killers

[@rodgygormin]

Lo-Fi Reviews i would put owen on that list if i thought he was just a comedian. owen is definitely a great human being. political comedy is bad for your netflix special career.

[@GamingPenis]

Patrice O'Neal is a big one too pun not intended

[@rodgygormin]

Gideon patrice be ded

[@WealthyHomeless]

:(

[@MAINYGAMERS]

I am crying😂 38:00 pulls newspaper off a bums face "Hey i was sleeping" right? Bill's rants are funny af

[@antonSugar]

39:20 toilet seat read. One of the best 🤣

[@jollyleprechaun5436]

Heard about it on Hot Ones. Glad I found it.

[@tiffanyh338]

l love you bill, i watch every night, and fall asleep to your voice

[@DailyDoseofDerkie]

Year 2000, old Conan skit? I think you nailed it Billy!

[@eliosterberg5277]

Your podcast is the best! This one may the best batch yet. Thanks for the extra long segues (ahem) and keep up the good work!

[@amynicole3590]

Did I just get so stoned bill burr started speaking Spanish It was French

[@WorldofWandag]

YOU KILLED IT at the forum tonight. That robot bit under a homeless bridge got me dying... also kudos on "you could be mine" gnr

[@seanfinn8562]

Oh yes, a random MMP from the KZbin algorithm, and it just so happens to be one of the best ones out there!

[@mrcool76789]

you have to be the most casually, naturally funny guy

[@Bulldawg3Delta]

"Like a vampire, waking up a 7:00am, to watch the Price Is Right"...im dyin!!!😂😂😂. BRILLIANT!!!

[@gregjohnson7666]

Christ you cooked the shit out of it bill burr dad voice

[@detroitrockcity3389]

Fucking got to turn off auto play how tf did we get here from cumtown

[@_Mr.Tuvok_]

“Lol Superheroes are dreamy…so yea stem cells tho.” A little gem in the archives

[@emmaVTEC]

Nia is the exact type of woman Bill told us all to avoid 😂

[@jymmydkid5633]

Do as I say... Not as I do. 🤫 I'm not completely useless...I can be used as a bad example. 😋 Bill probably...

[@dgv646]

Yesss Yesss Yesss!!! I have been saying that same thing for years. Nia is an ignorant yet opinionated awful person

[@kaecake9575]

"I want to love women like how I love my dogs. My dogs need me but they don't act like they don't." ~Patrice O'Neal

[@cgbj2416]

I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets depressed when I hear My Eyes Adored You 😅

[@mrgreen4745]

"I like Hernandez".. Well, that didn't age well. Lol

[@zebruno9879]

permanent ear damage ? brain: "oh jesus..."

[@michaelengland3741]

You should definitely go for the part of LEX LUTHOR!!!

[@janedoe3570]

I'd watch that shit

[@BlackwaterMerk]

But Lex Luthor as if he were Bill Burr " This fuckin guy just puts on some glasses and thinks noone is gonna notice, well then again people are fuckin morons"

[@82Novica]

lex LOOTHAH!

[@yougotthatfunk3582]

SJW's have rewritten the script, the part is now for SuperGinge. More chance for Burr you think ? No, they wrote the hero as a female genderfliud blind midget.

[@n3tl4g]

Maybe you could do Lex Luthor's Daily Caller Advice Podcast

[@lewisgiles8855]

Dude you never fail to crack me up even just starting out the damn show holycow ✨ 🐮 haha

[@TotalRunningProductions]

Happy Monday Bill! Hope you’re doing well!

[@mindhaze]

00:55 to 1:30 had me bust out laughing in the middle of work.

[@bryanlahog7948]

I love this stuff. Gets me through a fucking hard day of work. When I'm slaving outside, I listen to this awesome shit, and bust out laughing. Which kinda freaks people out. Then they're like, "What're you listening to?" I tell them who. Btw, hey internet people, tell your friends. Bill Burr is the shit! Don't keep it secret. I'm spreading the word. Billy boy and Norm MacDonald are my daily entertainment. Thanks, man.

[@bioemiliano]

I enjoyed F is for Family so much and now I discover that Bill made it

[@harrybrown1506]

Bill boy its about time for u to check in on us again

[@oleu8787]

I LOVED "F is for family". Can't wait for the new season

[@mikescully6546]

The driving down the street and seeing a billboard song made me spit out my coffee

[@LabrnMystic]

I appreciated the vampire and Price is Right bit, Bill.

[@das42k]

This guy's always making me laugh

[@Ghryst]

you WISH he was tickling your tootsies

[@das42k]

Ghryst VanGhod he'd tickle mine before he'd do you #assfatterthanyours

[@Ghryst]

richard vega you should probably learn the meanings of words before you use them. jus' sayin' #ATootsieIsNotAnAss

[@das42k]

Ghryst VanGhod you're so educated!!!!

[@Ghryst]

richard vega i am, you should try it, instead of being an ignorant moron all your life :) have a nice day

[@Wolf-ko4ys]

Thats funny, “Let the right one in” was the last vampire movie I watched.

[@wetyewruyrtsutrdhjfg]

Hi Bill, I went to the Netflix facebook page and posted your stem cell guitar idea along with a link to this KZbin page. I did it for shits and giggles since I'm pretty sure no one will look at it, but hey, why not... ................. Hi, I was listening to Bill Burr and he was suggesting a great idea for a series. In his video, he was musing about the idea of an experienced musician (let's call him Halan) having stem cell surgery to reinvigorate his hands. He successfully de-aged his hands at the cost of his musical ability, honed after long years of practice on the road. After the surgery, Halan went on stage as scheduled, expecting to play his usual music and to his horror,, found that he had lost all his musical techniques, and his skill was back where he had started 30 years ago. Standing on stage, with lights flashing in his eyes, the backup band looking at him quizzically, the fans looking at him as he slowly sank to the floor, slowly tearing up as he realized the consequences of the surgery. In order to regain his music, Halan grinded on his guitar, practicing and putting in his countless hours to work to get back to his original level. As a result, he found that his hands had degraded again, reverting back to the gnarled and twisted hands of a 50 year old guitarist. At this point he'd lost all his fans and money in the process of getting his skill back, since his music did not meet expectations in the midst of training to get back his skill. I'm not sure why I typed this, or if anyone will even read this, but if anyone in Netflix finds it interesting please drop Bill Burr an email, he's done some comedy specials for Netflix and I'm sure that you guys know how to contact him. His podcast is here and the proposed series starts around 7 mins 30 secs.

[@Edition89]

wasn't expecting this one to contain life advice with the i love you but im not happy bit. thats solid.

[@kameronclark515]

The first 5 minutes is gold!

[@pavlovsworld9122]

I luv stem cells. lots of iron 😂😂🍻🍻

[@Basementjacks]

😂😂 what a way to put it

[@Ghryst]

stem cells contain no iron, you're thinking of red blood cells, or not thinking at all

[@jamesenos2113]

I'm that guy I lost my leg in a car accident but my brother's been taking care of me and he's sick of it.

[@Westcoaststyling]

24:00 - 25:15 so I can come back for a good laugh

[@naturenanny562]

I would definitely start watching the price is right if a vampire hosts it.

[@eamoncrawford]

-Don't defecate where you masticate. -Don't get your "meat" where you get your "bread" -Don't load your quill from the company's ink well. -When cranking the sprocket keep your "richard" in your pocket.

[@vlenzo5397]

hi its bill burr its time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday algorithm and back to O and A

[@DarkFiend69]

Love you Bill. Thanks for 2 podcasts a week.

[@metaparcel]

Bill Burr Baggins

[@markmccall588]

You’ve really got a great southern accent. It’s spot on

[@firegas1121]

Bill burr is the realist

[@gabenight7]

Wait that toilet commercial was real??? That was great.

[@TrustableGuy]

Ayyy Billy cant wait to see you Saturday!!!!!

[@s.waldron8532]

Hey Bill, can I get an ad pop up every three to five minutes of your podcast? Thank you! I love having to stop what I'm doing to come over and press skip. It doesn't take away from what you're saying at all when you continuously get cut off mid sentence.

[@s.waldron8532]

20 little yellow dots infect this video progress bar through the entire first half... WTF Bill?!

[@loupereira7950]

Geez their freckles, now I'm going to have that song in my head for the rest of the day.... Billy blue balls

[@andreareinhardsdottir5275]

Bill is a genious. He called it!

[@SKEC212]

Stem cells and hormones are two different ballgames. Your cells heal slower as you get old. And, stem cells gives them that new healing rate.

[@mb4310]

Please shut up. If you have no basic understanding of human physiology/biology or pathophysiology just be quiet.

[@mb4310]

Hurray! Comedy Central is going to show LET IT GO!!! OCT1. HOW ABOUT TORONTO? YOU CAME TO TIFF AND GAVE US NOTHING,ZIP, NADA.... POOR NIA.....MY HUSBAND USED TO DO THIS ....and I do have what is considered mild OCD by the doc , my friends on the hand ,scream SEVERE as I wash the dishes for the third time after my 8th tooth brushing. I finally had to get the quip toothbrush because IT TURNS OFF after 2 minutes.LMAO. My dentist keeps calling my doctor telling her to medicate me before I literally brush my teeth away. All nurses are OCD, WE KNOW WHAT'S GROWING ON YOUR SKIN AND IN YOUR MOUTH. WE GOT SWABBED IN 3 PLACES FOR MRSA,VRE, C-DIFF EVERY YEAR......AND TRIGGERED..OFF TO BRUSH MY TEETH AND WASH MY HANDS AT 2AM. VERY EXCLUSIVE SMALL GROUP THERE BILL FOR YOUR REIGN OF TERROR, YOU COULD EXPAND IT TO PEDOPHILES CAUGHT IN THE ACT. I ONCE LOOKED AFTER A "PERSON" CAUGHT IN THE ACT.....THE MOTHER CAME HOME EARLY AND SHE SHOT HIM . DO YOU KNOW WE HAVE TO KEEP THE HANDCUFFS ON EVEN IF YOU'RE PARALYZED? I HAD A GUY WHO WAS BRAIN DEAD WAITING FOR THE TRANSPLANT TEAM AND THE COPS STILL WOULDN'T TAKE THE CUFFS OFF.....VERY SUPERSTITIOUS BUNCH COPS...

[@neverifnotfornow]

Ahhaahahaa dude, new hand musician bit 😂nice

[@craigson5]

"Well he got stem cell research on his mouth"

[@macejaso]

Its fucking amazing how much work Joe Rogan puts into his podcast and he only has three ads in videos averaging three hours.

[@SkinnerTBD]

a little thing from my college days: I make my bed before I get into it. don't know who's been there, don't know what they've done, gonna give it a once over.

[@Law2120]

Still love your podcasts. F is for family is hilarious.

[@southernbreeze3278]

do the dishes, make your bed - bill burr: the jordan peterson of comedy bill burr is hilarious - I'll try to forget that 2017 netflix special I saw recently

[@ddub1253]

My birthdays today..n my awesome girl bough tickets to bills show next week I'm stoked.. Zip.....recrooota

[@tbarcy1]

Happy Birthday DDub 64

[@mrhappy3032]

25:55 😂😂😂😂😂his magnum PI 🕵️‍♂️ Theme song 🎶 breakdown was Fucking funny 😆 😂😂😂😂

[@bigpunchee]

Anyone else see Bill on the new Venom trailer?! 😂

[@onpsxmember]

Hey Bill, The 308 GTS cost 28600$ in 1979. (he later used an 308GTSi and a QV?) But those are Dollars from 1979...with the inflation, that would be slightly above 99000$ today...so 70-80k are below what you paid back then, considering the devalued money. The only Ferrari's that are worth keeping are very limited runs and if you can afford the insurance for it while you keep it. When did anyone throw food at you? I swear...If you don't announce your european tour loud and clear...I'll like you a little less. All the flushed down paper has to get out of the water, that process also costs lots of water and the production of the paper also needs lots of water. So not buying and using it is more environmental friendly. It's like with electric cars, you have to watch the whole life cycle from production to recycling.

[@dashpratt4097]

…

[@NESS7508]

His Joel Osteen impression is the best. 0:53

[@Nobunaga1983]

Always an awesome podcast. But too many damn commercials from KZbin I can’t watch anymore

[@Nobunaga1983]

Yes

[@wanderer6664]

I love Bill I could listen to him all day. Keep it up Bill you brighten my day dude.

[@chickencurry420]

Emmanuel Jal is the child soldier turned rapper that Bill mentions about 35-ish minutes in

[@MadroxMcCox]

Something you'll love to know, seeinf as you're talking bout Lex Luthor. He was a ginga. Lost his hair to radiation from kryptonite.

[@1997Nico]

That Superman bit is funny as hell. I’m listening at work rn and I can’t stop laughing 😂 4:40

[@jahwejr.7784]

waiting 4 your new special dude ! U r the best out there.

[@joshuabarker975]

OMG hahaha Your `mock voice` for your wife is just like hers!!!!!! It's so funny now I've finally heard her voice. Massive fan btw. I love ur podcasts, they bring me great happiness in my otherwise angry life, Thank you!!

[@kamalnayansharma8586]

When you get ad before video starts and it's unskipable

[@Michael-rj3jz]

Starts refreshing frantically

[@1959truthseeker]

Mortisha! Thats French! (Now I look in vain for a female arm to smooch! See what what did Bill!)🤪

[@MrMaximum91]

"Woody woody woody woody" if you know this reference you are a true mmpc fan, if not its on this channel and is a must listen

[@user59371]

Are you trying to bring me down?

[@sorenspiller]

Praise Cell

[@davemay2284]

Lol that intro

[@daymeongartrell4809]

Bill could play "The Riddler!'

[@BerserkerGuts_]

I feel like Bill and Michael from GTA V would get along.

[@andersonanderson1009]

Not sure when this repeat mini-episode was from, but Bill called THE RUST shooting in this one.

[@RayScottJr]

Right on time billy

[@TheAgrolith]

Holy shit no adds in the middle of the damn video. Good my man

[@emmaronan6611]

Sending you Irish hugs an potatoes x

[@EmarketOcean]

Bill you’re my dude I fucking love you

[@jeffg2226]

Listen to old freckles trying to hold a note at 14:04

[@Hellbilly615]

You have a great week everyone...

[@MoeZeppelin]

"it's like captain america meets c.c. deville, just hear me out." - make it happen, ginger!

[@charlesboston3642]

The only reason I am going to get youtube red is so I dont have to deal with bs ads interrupting every 5 minutes. The only ads I want are the ones that come out of Bills own mouth.

[@michaelp8995]

you can come into my arena bill burr

[@DarrellVermilion]

14:04 Underrated Conan reference.

[@xkernel]

I think the vampire movie is "Let the right one in".

[@VashTheDamnFiend]

Lmao these recent comments are brutal. Guess that’s what happens when KZbin force feeds this on everyone’s autoplay. Bill became what he used to hate and I’m glad ppl see through him.

[@shanewinsler3101]

Jesus christ this dude is the best

[@ARKHAMxMaverick]

Thanks Billy "I don't get any" Burr

[@MrAronbe]

Big thanks from Iceland

[@rogershakey5015]

Praise you father Bill, you're wisdom and humor was like being touched by an angel. I feel happy and molested at the same time. This is probably how miss Blasy Ford must feel all the time. Thanks keep it coming.