Billy Connolly - The Queen Visiting A Scottish Military Hospital

[@ruadhagainagaidheal9398]

I recently had some cancer tests. I had both a colonoscopy and a gastroscopy, one after the other. Remembering Billy’s joke I said “ Could I have the gastroscopy first ? - Or if not, would you at least wipe the endoscope after the colonoscopy ?” The hospital staff hadn’t heard the wire brush and Dettol joke and they fell about laughing ! It lightened the mood for me at a tough time.

[@joguipo]

That post is as good as the video itself. Hope everything went well. Greetings from Spain

[@trespire]

That was hallarious !! Get well.

[@introspectivedreamer3864]

wishes to feel better and keep enjoying Billy's pure gold all the very best

[@georgebuller1914]

I've had Stomach Cancer and - like you - have had a Gastroscopy (fun aren't they!) I hope you're doing well 'comrade' and lets both keep on keeping on! ;-)

[@jameswhite7997]

Brilliant story best wishes

[@graemewatson1106]

No matter how many times I watch this clip I’m always in 😂 Billy is an icon I’ve loved him since I was younger

[@yetanotherspuart3993]

Always nice to see the big Yin.

[@magsk6721]

BILLY LOVE FROM GREENOCK .😍Great gigs on the waverly ! Your the best Billy, Scotland loves you ❤ The Cumberlands and Incontinense trousers are legendary ❤

[@Canalcoholic]

And every bloke watching this has their legs crossed and tears in their eyes!

[@SamuelBlack84]

Wire brush and dettol!

[@tomellis4750]

@@SamuelBlack84 Saw Abelard and Heloise in theatre. Where he gets castrated with a dagger half the audience crossed their legs and winced. The other half laughed.

[@SamuelBlack84]

@@tomellis4750 I imagine the ones who laughed were women

[@robleary3353]

Best comedic story teller ever!. Even when you've either seen the stories 'live' or are rewatching them on forums such as this, you still p**s yourself laughing! Such is his talent!. On ya biggun! Thanks.

[@irbennett]

Once you've seen a live Billy performance, videos are always going to be second best.

[@emmettorafferty1006]

No one can ever do alternative comedy like THE BIG YIN 🎉😂❤

[@richtaylor2129]

Got to love Billy Connolly!! An absolute legend!!

[@ChrisJohnsonChannel]

Billy tells stories like nobody else 🤩

[@georgejohnstone9394]

Thank you billy for getting me through some tough times when i was younger god bless you big yin

[@MichaelKingsfordGray]

Gods are fictional.

[@uk4ss4ssin]

@@MichaelKingsfordGray as is ur humour 😉

[@irbennett]

@@uk4ss4ssin It wasn't humour, it was the truth.

[@rustypumpkins2193]

Omg I use to have this DVD but it got misplaced. I've spent years looking for this joke online. Still makes me laugh. God bless Billy Connolly

[@thephoenixsystem6765]

I'm so glad to hear you can finally move on with your life!

[@looksirdroids9134]

Pumpkins can't rust. Also maybe don't misplace things.

[@roderickscott7429]

heard it first by Danny Kyle on his 1975 album " A,hll get ye " , so if this clip is after 75 then stolen.

[@rebeccagriffin1449]

VHS I got a shit load at a charity shop

[@irbennett]

@@roderickscott7429 Danny Kyle was Billy's best and dearest friend and the joke dates back to before the First World War. So nobody stole it. A joke is a joke they don't belong to anybody. Unless they're copyrighted.

[@freddielaker2]

This I think is my forever favourite of his stories, its stayed on my mind since I first saw the vid years ago and still make me chucke as it haunts me every now and then. Especially when I smell Dettol!

[@ericcooper1709]

Not as good as the dwarf on a bus joke.

[@irbennett]

@@ericcooper1709 Story, not joke.

[@matthewcullen1298]

Love Billy, still the one of best comedians I've seen although there still some amazing ones these days. I'd love to have seen him and Robin Williams do a tour together. It would have been epic. Two wonderfully loveable people. I heard this joke when I was a teen-ager and still extremely funny all these years later.

[@magsk6721]

When Robin went to Billy's scottish home I'd love to have been a fly on the wall 😂 so special 🤩

[@gryphongryph]

As Billy likes to build up the story, I am afraid that Robin would interfere too much, as he was not known to be able to sit quiet for long 😂😂😂

[@treeoftrees7523]

I love them both but I think both of them together will be a bit too much. It will be exhausting

[@irbennett]

A tour like that would never happen. You're straying into the realms of fantasy.

[@macpablo1169]

Wire brush and dettol lol

[@paullambe9471]

Lol 😂

[@stigyanblue1442]

What's Dettol? Sounds awful!

[@graemewatson1106]

⁠@@stigyanblue1442it’s anti septic liquid that gets rid of germs

[@stigyanblue1442]

@@graemewatson1106 still sounds awful. Like iodine

[@irbennett]

@@stigyanblue1442 Except you don't apply iodine with a wire brush.

[@deborahwatson5159]

Love ❤ you ❤ Big Yin, take ❤ 💙 ♥ care ❤ 💋 ♥ 😘 💙 and Keep Safe ❤

[@irbennett]

More or less the same, just more hearts.

[@giovanniacuto2688]

I thought it was going to be the joke about the Queen's Scottish hospital visit. As she goes along a row of beds and speaks to the patients, all each of them does is recite of verse of "address to the haggis", which begins "Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin'-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o'a grace As lang's my arm". As she leaves the ward she says to the doctor, so this is the psychiatric unit? Nae maam, he replies. Tis the serious Burns unit.

[@gingercat777]

Brilliant 😄

[@fins59]

Would that be 3rd degree Burns?

[@trevormoses5061]

😆😆

[@lapislarka]

Not to be a downer, but it is flying over my head. In case anyone is happy to explain.

[@Sygyt123]

@@lapislarka The joke refers to Robert Burns, Scotland's greatest poet. All the patients are reciting Burns poetry.

[@descamm9313]

Just couldn't stop laughing, Billy is maybe one of the very few Comedian's left and a treasure to our nation, Wire Brush & Dettol,, 🤣👍

[@andrewg.carvill4596]

There was an old story from the First World War about Lady Ascot visiting soldiers in a military hospital. One poor man with his leg hooked up towards the ceiling just wasn't in the mood. So when Lady Ascot asked him "Good morning my man, and what is your name?" the poor divil just said 'op it, ya bitch'. Lady Ascot said to the accompanying sergeant, "I didn't know there were any Russians in this regiment".

[@graemewatson1106]

I love it when Billy 😂s at his own story & says it’s all right for you I’m getting the picture

[@irbennett]

Just for a change that was a joke not a story.

[@introspectivedreamer3864]

having not seen this one before my thanks for posting it, it made me laugh very loudly thank you dear Billy

[@andyconnor4863]

Billy love from glasgow 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿👍🍺😂

[@scottishhellcat]

We have a Scottish dude in our Scottish group that looks like Billy. He did this routine last night at our St Andrews. I thought I had seen them all but started looking for this and here I am.

[@irbennett]

Yeah right.

[@kirkyorg7654]

"the big yin" will never have an equal

[@stephaniehand503]

thanks

[@TrevorMoses312]

Wire brush and Dettol 😳😳😆😆😆

[@sygad1]

OMG, I never saw that coming, brilliant

[@irbennett]

So this is the first time you've seen it.

[@jonbolton3376]

That's one of his i've not heard before, and as often happens when i hear an amazing Billy punchline for the first time, the result is hysterical doubled up laughter. I didn't think that would happen again it's been about 15 years since i saw anything really funny from Billy for the first time.

[@Bluesmusicno1]

Love this

[@danmar007]

Master storyteller.

[@mrcjc9298]

It cracks me up every time 🤣🤣

[@leecrampton8544]

Love his humour to bits.

[@videohistorysnippets8963]

The best comedian I’ve heard in my lifetime.

[@fatwalletboy2]

Perfect connolly....perfect.

[@justinhackstadt6677]

Holy shite, I had to do a double take to realize it was him. This must have been 82'. 🤔🤣

[@travelingman6511]

1981

[@Welshwarrior85]

When I was a kid, I thought Billy was saying “wild Russian nettle” 😂

[@DeadStar8183]

🤣🤣🤣

[@johntaylor9988]

So did I🤣🤣

[@tomitstube]

i thought he was saying "wild brush and dental". never heard of "dettol".

[@irbennett]

I thought he said wire brush and Dettol. Couldn't have been clearer.

[@Welshwarrior85]

@@irbennett what a legend you must be 🖕🙄

[@fatwalletboy2]

Another great lead up the gsrden path.the punchline hitting the funny bone full on.

[@adriaanboogaard8571]

Great stuff. I laughed extra because I worked for a guy who traveled a lot. He said his wife told him if he cheated on her, it was a wire brush and kerosine in some places you really don't want it.

[@goofyjared2007]

R.I.P Queen Elizabeth II

[@joannebattersby8365]

A wire brush and dettol lolol. Since we say here in Canada - Up yer geegee with a wire brush.

[@pauljordan4452]

Ouch!

[@Dunlop77]

He's a legend 😂😂

[@ancietman]

No better story teller.

[@irbennett]

What he told here was a joke.

[@raymondclark1458]

Absolute class! 😂

[@martythemartian99]

For the whole joke I thought he said the treatment was Wild Russian Nettle. :D

[@irbennett]

Were you kicked in the head by a horse when you were young?

[@martythemartian99]

@@irbennett Kicked in the head by a horse? HA HA HA, don't be foolish... it was a donkey.🤪

[@timmygrace1]

What's the DVD called?

[@robertreape]

It's on a dvd called Billy connolly bites yer bum.

[@chrisdrennan9143]

Billy Bites Yer Bum 1981

[@davesmith4017]

Oh no, that is so wrong! Me people from Aberdeen and Ulva meself.

[@NickJohnCoop]

There are few commendians that are as good with their punchlines.

[@irbennett]

What's a commendian?

[@mrsb2314]

The auld ones are the best

[@debbieflaherty1975]

Billy was a hottie!

[@bravenew1934]

Thought for ages it was “wire brush and dental ma’am!” which in light of the punchline of this joke somehow seems even worse…

[@stanstevens3783]

Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer.? The taste

[@pauljordan4452]

A shitty joke.

[@irbennett]

Too late that's already been done.

[@yvonneost12]

I can't make out what he is saying ?? is it " wire brush & dental ????

[@robertreape]

@clinton james wire brush and dettol,the scottish cure for everything

[@georgiafrye2524]

@clinton james Thankyou. I learned something new. Kind of like Pine Sol in the US?

[@allanconnor1013]

@@georgiafrye2524 More like Lysol.

[@irbennett]

Only an American would think it was dental.

[@ringsausage29]

What a legend 🤣

[@EllaOmalley-k3h]

😊

[@Catseye189]

He looks like Jason Manoa!

[@irbennett]

You've been drinking gasoline again. Either that or you were kicked in the head by a horse when you were young.

[@huepix]

Whits he saying? Wire brush and dental? Is that a Scottish thing?

[@calum1741]

Wire brush and dettol.

[@majorkilljoy]

I thought he was saying wild Russian nettle lol

[@calum1741]

@@majorkilljoy when I was a kid i thought he was saying wild Russian dettol

[@allanconnor1013]

Dettol is a British antiseptic with a very distinctive smell. It will cure anything when mixed one part Dettol two parts Locuzade or Irn Bru..

[@calum1741]

@@allanconnor1013 true

[@adrianguinn3331]

wtf is a dettol?

[@videowifie]

Dettol is like a cheap pure alcohol cleaning product

[@MichaelKingsfordGray]

His best joke!

[@criffermaclennan]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@howardcohen4845]

Funny 😁

[@michaellicavoli3921]

What is he saying? Sounds like wild Russian dental.

[@andrewg.carvill4596]

Wire brush an' Dettol. Kill or cure. Kill more likely.

[@pauljordan4452]

Wire brush and Dettol.

[@selwynowen6213]

🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍👍👍

[@henrikchristensen2382]

Haha wildt russian?? watt?? 😄

[@richtaylor2129]

😂😂😂

[@sallysmith9733]

Multi. Challenged and proud. Pulling out rainbow . Toilet paper!. All this time my Arse is gay!. 😆

[@stephenirons1892]

Hahahahaha Hahahahaha

[@rogeredwarrddeshon5000]

I enjoy his comedy however I think he should draw the line at using the F word followed by the name of God. I'm a Christian and i say that's in bad taste and not necessary to get a laugh.

[@irbennett]

@rogeredwarddeshon5000. Too late asking Billy to draw the line at using the F word followed by God, as he has been lambasting God and religion throughout his career using the F word freely. It's not done to get a laugh, as Billy has been swearing most of his life. For me it's not in bad taste as I don't believe in gods, devils,angels etc. And if you're a christian that's your problem.

[@Testedecazzo]

😴

[@G58]

Remember Kenneth John Bigley (22 April 1942 - 7 October 2004) the British civil engineer who was kidnapped in the al-Mansour district of Baghdad, Iraq, on 16 September 2004. Not a comedy moment Billie.

[@ruadhagainagaidheal9398]

?

[@johnmacdonald1878]

Very sad, but what possible relevance to an old joke told over 20 years before. PS Billy Connolly is an ex British soldier. So if he wants to make jokes about the British Army, it’s fine with me.

[@irbennett]

@@johnmacdonald1878 No relevance whatsoever. These wankers turn up on other Billy sites spouting the same nonsense.

[@irbennett]

You had to be there.

[@czarnakawa7958]

🤣🤣🤣🤣