The first food I ate coming out of anorexia was peanut butter. I ate about 3 sandwiches...peanut butter was what I craved and ate non stop for awhile
@mariajoselarrranaga39594 жыл бұрын
Peanut butter is such a fear food for me too but I haven’t been able to challenge it :( do you have any tips of how to challenge fear foods w/o compensating later ?
@santjevana82794 жыл бұрын
For me used to be a fear food but at some point I was lacking so many nutrients that I didn't even bother putting it on sandwiches. I was just spooning it out lol. But I'm over it now, since my body doesn't need that much anymore. Your body tells you what it wants if you listen to it.
@sofiaalmeida75004 жыл бұрын
Same here. I would eat lots of peanut butter when I started my recovery but then one day it became a fear food. I really want to eat it again but I'm scared 'cause last time I did it I felt so guilty I cut myself
@mariajoselarrranaga39594 жыл бұрын
sofia almeida omg i totally get you, when I try to face my fear foods , that happens , sometimes I gain even more fear
@euleee12854 жыл бұрын
HSMakeup By María José Larrrañaga Tell yourself that it’s really healthy food because it is!! It has A LOT of proteins in it which is very good for your health, muscles and bones. It also has a lot of healthy fats and yes, I say healthy fats because nuts have lots of healthy fats that even helps your brain to concentrate!! And allow yourself to enjoy that food because it is healthy AND it takes amazing!! Go you get it I believe in you❤️
@nokkajaakko14114 жыл бұрын
i thought i was the only one with that night eating thing and ”i will save that another piece of cake for later” and then later eat so much more than that one piece. Thank you, this video helped a lot❤️
@harmonyhope17094 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for raising awareness of this and normalising it !!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I have also felt so alone at times whilst experiencing this process!!!! I always saw myself as a 'failed anorexic' or I had lost my self control and others with restrictive eating disorders were so much 'better' at restricting than me and I was ashamed. However learning from people such as Tabitha Farrar and other recovery KZbinrs (you included) I have realised how much more common it actually is!!!!! You described the restriction and binge/purge cycle really well xx agree with you about the 'professionals' misconceptions!!! Very frustrating xxx so right that it can keep you in quasi recovery for life unless you embrace it and let yourself fully recover by unrestricted eating xx
@MatthewC331994 жыл бұрын
Same here with seeing myself as a "failed anorexic" and being jealous of people who were better at restricting than me, but I realize now that no matter "how anorexic" you are you will binge at some point.
@harmonyhope17094 жыл бұрын
@@MatthewC33199 Yes, absolutely. Guess the body will only take so long of restriction!!! Xx
@avery98794 жыл бұрын
Harmonyhope I 100% RELATE
@user-hj5ie3hi9i3 жыл бұрын
How are you now?
@harmonyhope17093 жыл бұрын
@@user-hj5ie3hi9i I just eat to my hunger. Pretty much a similar amount of food each day, weight stable and no longer binge. Very few thoughts about food and weight. How about you? Where are you with the recovery process? ❤️
@LucyJadeWard4 жыл бұрын
I honestly can't tell you how amazing you are and how many people you are helping/ Thank you SO MUCH for this video!!! I find that a lot of people in recovery don't talk about this topic, which made me feel like I was "fake" and "obviously not anorexic" but you have made me feel so much better about it. Love you girly xxxx
@leahj16134 жыл бұрын
I thought it was just me about the night eating thing , I would save all of my calories for the night time, but I would be scared to eat the Chinese my family had ordered or dominoes, yet I would eat so much chocolate
@aavvsh4 жыл бұрын
I ate a ton of chocolate yesterday but I’m accepting it hahah
@libbyyy3 жыл бұрын
same, like im scared to eat the dinner my dad made but i’ll sit in my room eating like a ton of cereal lmfao
@aussielegend61142 жыл бұрын
same. It’s horrible. I need help.
@phiaellie17474 жыл бұрын
I feel so rubbish today but this video is helping so much
@Quantonsennuie4 жыл бұрын
You have no idea how much you’re videos help me. Thank you so much for making them. ❤️ it also helps to know that I’m not going through this alone ☺️
@MatthewC331994 жыл бұрын
I have/am in recovery from atypical anorexia (anorexia at a normal weight) and deal with binging as well... I get really ashamed and purge when that happens, and fear that I'll just start eating and won't stop. I am somewhat relieved knowing that this is perfectly normal and there are very few people who just restrict without any binging/purging (even many restricting anorexics often change to bulimia or anorexia binge-purge subtype at some point), but I always feel like it's a lapse in my self-control. Also being at a normal weight really makes me feel like I can't binge without getting fat and that I'm "not thin enough" to be able to binge.
@naomimcgilly64073 жыл бұрын
I agree with you, I got diagnosed with anorexia and was a healthy weight but slipped into the underweight “category” but I binge so much and since I used to be obese last year I regret it so much and have started purging the food I ate, my stomach is so big and bloated and I’m scared to not restrict
@abbyneal48974 жыл бұрын
I was having such a hard day dealing with the amount I've been eating lately. Thank you so much for making this video, extremely helpful and informative!!
@avery98794 жыл бұрын
I had a “binge” yesterday and today I was gonna restrict. But now I’m thinking of all the times I didn’t eat enough, so I’m going to try and eat as “normal” as possible today.
@amydingle63634 жыл бұрын
Thank you SO much for these videos. I admire your strength and I find you very motivational for my own recovery. I have been stuck in my Anorexia for over 10 years now and I am desperate for recovery and although the thought of it scares me, I think the 'All in" method does sound good. However, I keep finding myself so wanting to push myself but literally getting paralysed by habit and indecision! I don't know whether I should have a back up meal plan just in case I get stuck and can not make a decision what to have. I'm so upset and frustrated with this illness ruining my life and watching it ruin others around me that I have to change NOW! But how stupid it sounds, I don't know what to eat first?!
@elyseirwin25874 жыл бұрын
Amy Dingle your words resonate with me. Each day I tell myself I want to go “all in” but cannot eat more than the current calories I’m eating and cannot stop exercising. While I’m at a lot healthier weight than I was ten years ago, I still am struggling. I hope we both can break free from this disorder in the New Year.
@recoveredbakes36754 жыл бұрын
I was the exact same! I was completely overwhelmed with the thoughts of eating or choosing one specific food which was where the buffet idea for each meal and snack plates came along, remember that no food is the “right or wrong” decision, Your Body is terrified of restriction therefore every on time you eat it thinks it is the last time therefore needs to make it “absolutely perfect” as it’s a special occasions etc meaning you need to show your body food is not a scarce and that it can have it regularly then those huge amount of cravings and food thoughts will settle!’ X
@jadeak65503 жыл бұрын
You’ve been helping me so much with this. I’ve felt so alone in this recovery and really thought I was binging, but I won’t restrict myself anymore.
@rebekahfouhy13394 жыл бұрын
Does anyone else experience really bad bowel issues after their recovery feast??
@ilkanajam33124 жыл бұрын
Me !!!
@recoveredbakes36754 жыл бұрын
It extremely common for your body to either be extremely constipated or tmi the other way 💩 I’ll also be doing a video on this! X
@kittkatt13172 жыл бұрын
Yes.
@malinthasler8324 жыл бұрын
I am really impressed... wow.... thank you ! You are so inspiring and i can not explain how much you helped me! Thanks ❤
@majakrysinska64634 жыл бұрын
this helped me so so so so much. I just had a recovery feast like, half an hour ago. I have only eaten breakfast yet, so I still have meals left for the day, and now I will force myself not to restrict, I’m gonna beat this.
@mirchen014 жыл бұрын
Your words are so helpful and eye opening god thank you
@sofiaalmeida75004 жыл бұрын
I feel better than i feel when i have an appoinment after watching your videos ☺️😍 The way you talk about stuff makes me watch more and more, I could watch a 3 hour video of yours Sending love from Portugal! Keep on being this strong
@Em-bc1ni2 жыл бұрын
I never thought a simple expression, made of two words, would help me so much and change my perspective on my current experiences. “recovery feast”
@anonymousperson10634 жыл бұрын
exactly what happened to me right now... I just ate pretzel with butter, grilled cheese sandwich witch sauce, sausage, ice cream, chocolate, whipped cream with chocolate cake.... i feel so disgusting and sick right now. The last days I was in a deficit so I think it’s normal that this happened.. But I ate so damn much.
@viktoriyageorgieva82984 жыл бұрын
Keep going,girl! ❤️I feel the same way, but I know I have to go through this. Don't be afraid, just go all in. Eat everything your body craves and start loving yourself just the way you are. Everything's gonna be alright. Believe and be strong!
@emarendulic88324 жыл бұрын
I literally love your videos and I could watch them all day, you are so strong, positive just beautiful human and I can’t wait for more videos! You should film what i eat while all in or something similar, love you💕
@fel_1324 жыл бұрын
I am so happy you are back 💗😍
@michellecolledge23554 жыл бұрын
I fear binging because of the bloating. I can't go to work looking pregnant with 4 babies. the bloating never stops!!!
@izzym51124 жыл бұрын
I feel so conflicted because I developed anorexia after years of struggling with binging and compulsive overeating. I don’t trust myself, even though it was so long ago. I’m trying to respond to my extreme hunger and staying mindful by acknowledging it - eg “I am hungry, so I am going to eat more because I need it”.
@Zozee4 жыл бұрын
did you ever experience lack of apetite after being in recovery for some time and gaining most of the weight but still not being healthy?
@laneikkadenne76123 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video. You've helped so many people. This made my day and helped me get through x
@omgitsmandy14 жыл бұрын
So grateful for you and other utubers who share the truth. We can do this ❤️⭐️ love your vids
@CarlsVlogs4 жыл бұрын
Happy New Year to you and family, your doing a wonderful job giving inspiration to those that may need a little guidance. Kind regards for 2020
@recoveredbakes36754 жыл бұрын
Carl,s Vlogs Happy New year Carl! 😘
@jordynk29762 жыл бұрын
What do I do if its been 8 months and I'm at my set-point weight, yet still binge?? I'm so scared and hopeless. You said "binging is eating the food but not wanting the food", I don't know what to do cause that's what I do. As soon as I tap into my hunger I don't want the food anyone, and even when I am full I want more and more and more, even if I'm so full and want to stop. SOMEONE please help me. I can't do this anymore.
@nataenha Жыл бұрын
Hi, how are you now? I have the same now idk if it is extreme hunger or not
@maddymorphine6683 жыл бұрын
Will extreme hunger eating affect you afterwards once you're fully recovered? I'm totally ready to recover and give into eating when and what I need to but im just worried my afterwards body is gonna be real fat if I eat a lot of sweets in recovery
@twinkiesnails8857 Жыл бұрын
This info is invaluable
@Fairybreadgal4 жыл бұрын
Yas girl nailed it ❤️
@InnV6964 жыл бұрын
After a line of conditions all at once I ended up from 66kg to 42kg with height 179cm. The thing there is that after all of the antibiotics and stuff, everyone was pushing me to eat more and more even tho I was full which made me end with a dilated stomach located down in the pelvis right ontop and behind the bladder... I constantly think about of when TO eat again and I stop only when the plate is completely empty and I do it every hour or two making me full all the time literally, causing my stomach to weight even more down. The truth is I feel full after 4-5 spoons,because the stomach is a level 4 pyloric stenosis and the last thing i should do is overeat, but I continue forcefully to eat more and more because I love the taste of the food. I do not restrict myself of any kind, but I really should, because overeating is NOT okay, considering that I have a chronic atrophy of the smotach linen caused by 2 duodenal ulcers plus GERD (esophagus ulcers with high level of stomach acid production), recently fought hepatitis B and many more bad stuff... but I can't stop... I love the taste of food and in a way I completely ignore the body, I know very well that when youve dropped down and lost weight so much without wanting it, the best way to recover is to do it with 7-8 small meals more frequently. The thing there is that I eat when I am not hungry, I overeat due to it and j continue to lose weight. Realizing I cause this to myself. I do not give the body the time to recover. The way my body is I literally do not go 12+ days to the bathroom while being stuck with food for so long.. It is very hard for me... I cannot stop overeating and I mean it... I never counted calories, vomited or tried to hide food or any other international trick to lose weight, but I constantly do lose... I can't eat small meals often. And I know that this gluttony will be my demise. With a dilated stomach and a pyloric stenosis as I mentioned it is hard to even breathe properly,cuz I am dry all the time,like you drink water and you are literally dry as if uve never drank water in your life.. So the last thing to do is overeat.. but I do it all the time ignoring my body's signals while looking only and caring for the taste.... Sometimes I wonder if I wanna live longer and healthy and just live long to consume whatever I want.. I know it is up to me and nobody else but when youve been living in a bad condition long enough you accept it as a reality, or maybe I just did, so I just enjoy day by day stucking whatever mix of food I like, destroying my body more and more... I can't really stop.. I cant eat slow and gradually... I want the whole cake and i do eat it. But continue losing weight, due to the bad digestion, constipation and toxins in my body caused by it. I don't know what to do guys and how to stop... I'm a glutinous anorexic jerk, and I say jerk, cuz I do it on purpose knowing that it is bad... but I really wanna fix it... Maybe not enough, but I do want to fix it....
@kassandra95713 жыл бұрын
has this gotten better any update bc i as well eat more yet am loosing it and it frustrates me bc i’m so badly constipated and bloated and no matter how much i eat i don’t gain
@lulu-kk3tp2 жыл бұрын
my issue is i am not overweight, i am at a healthy bmi and my doctor even tells me i can lose more weight and i can’t really restrict as heavily as i used to and it makes me feel like i need to find a way for myself to relapse and get worse
@isabellebaker62944 жыл бұрын
this has helped me so much thank you!
@chiarasartori656510 ай бұрын
Ik this video is old but I’ll try anyways. What if I used to be a boredom/stress eater before I developed ana? And that also the the reason why I developed it. Is it possible to have a mix of extreme hunger and binging because my old habits are coming back? I also feel that it was extreme hunger at first, but now I want to eat maybe just to numb out the emotions this situation makes me feel. I’m so scared
@user-yh9po5nz6u Жыл бұрын
Hey what if im physically full, but still mentally craving something like sweets?
@mariajoselarrranaga39594 жыл бұрын
Hey! I just discovered your channel and I just wanted to say it is awesome!! I’m really confused cause I’ve been in “recovery” of anorexia for the past months but I haven’t been fully engaged to my process, I am not extremely underweight currently 158cm and I weight 41 kilos, Mentally i can say I have gotten better because i went from eating 500 to between 900-1070 calories a day. Today I was kinda having a restrictive bf because of New Years dinner and I ended up eating 9 slices of bread, obviously I skipped lunch and I am currently really worried about dinner. I don’t know how to let go this restrictive behavior, sometimes I get extremely hungry and eat 300-500 calories of something but I don’t know where to stop.
@chloemarie41794 жыл бұрын
HSMakeup By María José Larrrañaga you are still underweight and you definitely deserve to recover !
@christenbas2674 жыл бұрын
Hi Emma, your videos are helping me so much and I want to thank you for that!! I want to ask you if you do any exercise Because I feel stuck.. want to try to let myself eat and not restrict but I don't know what to do with my exercise..I' go for fast walking for 30-40 minutes 3 times a day and I can't stop it and if i do I will restrict my food. But I don't think that these walks are a proper exercise and i can't stop cause then I will get fat and I feel lazy not doing anything, I never went to the gym and everyone seem to go..i don't know what to do, I'm scared to not do any kind of movement..mostly because I'm almost on a healthy weight
@starvationandsalvationon_i20244 жыл бұрын
do you think creating art to deal with ed is ok? i do it to vent on ig and find people to relate to but have been getting angry dms saying that i trigger people?
@user-hj5ie3hi9i2 жыл бұрын
but do you let yourself binge or try to not do it? when i try to eat without restriction all i want to do is eat
@magicalia27874 жыл бұрын
Thank you❤
@bassafratz3 жыл бұрын
9:29 I DO THAT I DO THAT,,, I FEEL VALID NOW 😭😭
@ADevilFromHeaven4 жыл бұрын
thank you
@emilyturtle3863 жыл бұрын
I'm here after my 5th 9000 calorie binge in 8 days
@ADevilFromHeaven4 жыл бұрын
am feasting on pancakes right now
@Prettylittlething1454 жыл бұрын
I’ve been restricting for a while now and today I had the worst binge of my lifeeee What I ate: 2 big apples,2 honey on toast,bag of popcorn,large pancake,a whole pack of. Chocolate cookies,a halo top tub,random Doritos I found,2 nuggets,chicken and Zhuccini and an oregano pizza 😭 I never done this before and even though I’m underweight for my height I feeeeel so fat and stomach literally looks like I’m PREGNANT tomorrow I’m going to restrict even though I know it might cause me to binge again :( but i just want to be 48kg it’s my favorite weight and after eating all this I literally gained 4kg like omggggggg 😭 my first ever binge and I’m scared that I will keep doing this
@laurendixon53173 жыл бұрын
you won’t have actually gained weight! it’s only temporary i promise it’s because the food inside you is making you weigh more, you’ll be okay i promise don’t restrict x
@dinimassas9743 Жыл бұрын
Omg thanks ❤ you helped me so much with this video i didn’t know what was going on with me and seeing this video made me realise I’m not the only one going through this and that it’s normal 🥹❤️