Black Christmas - Midnight Screenings Review

Brad and Doug review the 2019 Black Christmas movie, which manages to be the worst remake of Black Christmas yet! This should be a fun one to talk about.
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[@firerbenoit2808]

"What if Lisa Simpson wrote a horror film" has to be the greatest description for a movie ever

[@SonicXtreme99akaCreeperMario]

Firer Benoit ey carambe

[@Openreality]

They did say that the voice actor for lisa did.

[@viscountrainbows6452]

I feel like that'd be Bye Bye Man

[@CinematicInsanity]

I would still watch Lisa’s movie instead of this mess

[@daanimegoatman6683]

I don't get it.

[@chicostephenson]

the director literally said, "politics over plot." Right then I knew this movie was gonna be bad.

[@allenpoe17]

Did they really? Holy crap. You should read the review for this movie I read. Nothing about the movie besides what the characters were like and it mentioned a scene. The rest was politics politics politics politics politics.

[@Tadicuslegion78]

"She chose, poorly"

[@keijijohnson9754]

Allenpoe17 - I just knew it was going to be bad just from seeing the first trailer the first time. I mean I really can’t believe that Blum House allowed this trash to even be greenlighted at all.

[@aiberlane3390]

Because that's why people watch slasher movies! They don't want to see people die a bloody death or anything.

[@StandWatie1862]

That snail trail must have sucked off every Jewish producer in Hollywood.

[@TheSouloftheDragon]

So a gender studies major that spends twelve hours on Twitter did a movie?

[@MarquisLeary34]

Very very poorly.

[@rodolforodriguez4447]

Oh god!!!

[@Nestalgba92023]

And what's the result？An epic joke of a failure.

[@Whoa802]

Not the first one to have come out this year. The other was called Charlie's Angels.

[@Openreality]

Or the loopiest voice actor on the Simpson's crew decided to make a social experiment.

[@MFBooks-gy5nz]

Don’t worry about spoilers, the trailers already did that!

[@davejohn3600]

Kinda thought that when I saw the TV advertisement. I think they did it to sell it as a girl power flick more than a slasher flick.

[@MFBooks-gy5nz]

Dave John I think it’s gonna fail as both

[@tsarstepan]

I was wondering about the latest trailer that's playing here on KZbin and elsewhere. Looks like it shows what may be the climactic death of the killer by a flock of women.

[@AngelofMusic04]

Actually, the trailers left out the supernatural element.

[@MFBooks-gy5nz]

Will C doesn’t make the end product any better

[@ponygon777]

When Chris Stuckmann reviewed Countdown, he told the viewers a story on how he was giving his movie script to potentials studios. When the studio execs looked at Chris' script they told him that in order for the script to sell, you had to had timely topics added to your script, even if it doesn't make sense or adds nothing to the main story. I would be surprised that this how this movie was made.

[@ioncekilledamanwithmyshoe]

Zack F exactly. I hope this wasn’t made because it was their “passion”.

[@johnjsal]

I thought of Chris's story too, but it sounds like this movie didn't just throw in the topical stuff, but rather it was the entire movie.

[@DrGregoryHouseIT]

@@ioncekilledamanwithmyshoe It was.

[@elliotstannard5621]

@@ioncekilledamanwithmyshoe sadly so

[@ihvojd]

If I were in Chris’s shoes, I would had responded “Well then how did the sales for Ghostbusters 2016 do for you?”

[@1massboy]

Black Christmas: a movie so bad even Netflix wouldn’t green light it.

[@blaisetelfer8499]

Netflix who green-lit The Open House

[@TheSoulWithin7]

netflix will take anything, they have no quality standard

[@EricCarter12]

@@TheSoulWithin7 Well they didn't take Holmes and Watson. 🤔

[@EricCarter12]

@@TheSoulWithin7 Well they didn't take Holmes and Watson. 🤔

[@jeffreyali3644]

Tyler there are good shows on Netflix behind all the fluff so try again bro

[@clarencegutsy7309]

Black Christmas 2019 taught me that college girls are scared of literal black guys.

[@Whipwinder]

As opposed to figurative black guys?

[@pooertgaming8241]

@@Whipwinder Maybe he meant to say literate?

[@artofmore7197]

If the genders were reversed, this film wouldn't even make it to a brainstorm.

[@Heliosphan15]

Good grief that would be a fucked up movie

[@INoahGuy1]

@@Heliosphan15 nowadays, it would’ve made sense

[@alibrennan5977]

Wouldn’t that be the remake of wicker man with Nick Cage?

[@sleezboy992]

Or you would have the movie Murder Set Pieces

[@Guardian978]

I would love nothing more than to have a bunch of virtuous chads fighting against a bunch of shrieking blue-haired psycho feminists. If only to see the Trigglypuff get a cool ironic death.

[@tsarstepan]

Sounds like even Lisa Simpson could have made a more effective, scary and subtle horror movie.

[@FatherTime89]

Stephen Atwood well she likes Edgar Allen Poe so yeah I think she could.

[@SonicXtreme99akaCreeperMario]

Eye carambe

[@Openreality]

Except four the fact that they sid that the vice actor did make this film so that sid be a hard no.

[@ZEROGOTH22]

@@Openreality But she didnt?

[@peterkrug4124]

As I recall Lisa was supposed to be really smart so yeah, she could've made a much better horror film.

[@TheSteamLord]

Pretty sad when the 2006 remake is looking better than this

[@Godzilla-tu2cd]

These remakes still don't got jack shit on the original

[@deathmetalelitist666]

I love the 2006 version And the original

[@symbiotegod2069]

@@Godzilla-tu2cd 06 atleast kept the core of the original. Killer named Billy. Calls inside the house. Slowly axing off the sorority sisters. All with a higher body count. Albeit it is weird seeing Billy with giandis disease. But keep in mind we still dont know who played OG Billy, nor what he looked like.

[@Godzilla-tu2cd]

@@symbiotegod2069 Exactly that what makes og Billy so mysterious and a great slasher villain we don't know who he is. The 06 remake gave us a backstory no one asked for

[@symbiotegod2069]

@@Godzilla-tu2cd while this remake gave us a movie no one asked for either.

[@CarloisBuriedAlive]

Black Christmas 2019: A good advertisement for never making “worst of the year” lists before December.

[@isaigutierrez1617]

So it's this years Holmes and Watson?

[@LucyLioness100]

@@isaigutierrez1617 I don’t think I would compare it to that. But it’s got the “Holmes and Watson” spot for absolutely worst end of year feature during Christmas-New Years of 2019

[@RaidersoftheLostFlicks]

I saw this turkey last night. Every male character in this movie is either a mustache twirling Scooby Doo villain, a creeper, or an incompetent boob. So far...worst movie of 2019 for me.

[@JohnSmith32643]

@Zero Cool Nah it was one black male but he was creepy and socially awkward

[@alexandredesbiens-brassard9109]

Well, now you know how women feel when every female character in a movie is either a dumb blonde, an icy bitch, or a forced loved interest and reward for the main character. And there are a lot more of those around.

[@AngelofMusic04]

@@alexandredesbiens-brassard9109 Except there's plenty of ways to do those kinds of characters, even if they are stereotypical, and still give them presence and character. Hitchcock movies were loaded with "icy bitches" and still had actual character and personality to go along with it. The problem with "Black Christmas" is that it doesn't go beyond check lists, both the good and evil characters.

[@robo9439]

@@alexandredesbiens-brassard9109 so you have a problem with both stereotypes. Right???????

[@esyphillis101]

Collex I see feminoids complain about women being portrayed as all these things all the time, yet they aren’t able to give examples of movies where ALL the female characters are portrayed like these. And they never say anything about the male characters in these movies either.

[@1805movie]

"And the twist is...it's Cthulhu!" *-Santa Christ*

[@CinematicInsanity]

I’d watch that movie over this train wreck

[@joethehero2]

Everyone loves Cthulhu.

[@Tadicuslegion78]

Director: "Politics before plot" Me: "The unemployment line is right this way ma'am."

[@alexhollon7526]

Oh how I wish that was true.

[@LeChevalierduLys]

Did you just assume their gender ?!!! ;-)

[@Openreality]

Right?

[@Openreality]

@@LeChevalierduLys They said the voice actor of lisa Simpson did this film, which means the feminazi hired females only for the creation of this morbid atrocity.

[@INoahGuy1]

Peter von Feldt no. The director is Sophia Takal AKA Bitch

[@ThePa1riot]

I love seeing Brad and Doug just being friends.

[@LucyLioness100]

And their equal disgust of how terrible this movie is

[@firerbenoit2808]

This sounds genuinely offensive not only towards men, but also towards the #woke women this is supposed to pander to. If you are a creative and actually respect your audience and their intelligence, you do not spoon-feed Twitter-level politics that you think they are going to nod their heads to and blindly take in. No, you follow what the great Roger Corman said: "storytelling, not preaching". The fact that this is for teenage girls and is as bad as it is on every level is honestly shameful.

[@Jefferu_Nintendomoto]

The movie is an insult to the intelligence of us all.

[@koichidignitythief7429]

funny you say that because the twitter feminists are eating this up and calling anyone who doesn't like it sexist manbabies, and saying the movie is being review bombed. As usual

[@morbidlyboreddr.strangelov3420]

@@koichidignitythief7429 Yeah but Twitter feminists are just cancer tumors that developed sentience somehow, their opinion doesn't matter.

[@xxpandagalaxyxx5655]

As a teenager, Im actually glad I didn't see this. Granted, I was really interested, as I thought it was gonna be like your next and I didnt know about the original. I had a feeling it was gonna be a little preachy but good GOD. Though I get what you mean.

[@pooertgaming8241]

It's not offensive, its just bad.

[@franzyland]

The only people to see this movie in my theater last weekend were 2 teen moms. They brought in 4 TODDLERS in with them to see this movie. I went to my manager to tell him, thinking this was an R rated film. We check the rating, and see that it is PG-13. My manager looks at me and says "It ain't my childhood getting ruined". Also, the computer says that we didn't even sell any tickets for that movie, so they must have snuck in. At that point, I didn't even care any more.

[@footballgeorgiebest]

If they had two kids each I would say their morals are already as loose as their legs.

[@zacharykim295]

@@footballgeorgiebest Damn, savage.

[@roguexxrenegade]

This was the most sexist movie I’ve ever seen.

[@cheerfulsatanist]

It's made barbed wire a God damn masterpiece of equality by comparison

[@blaisetelfer8499]

The LA Time's critic lauded that the movie "smashes the patriarchy", as if these sorority girls who are on the same economic ladder and going to the same university as the fraternity brothers are being oppressed by said bros.

[@dudemanbroguy3464]

Lol they do smash the patriarchy, it’s just they are face down in a pillow while some frat boy bangs her out.

[@dahliah.1689]

Y-you can be of similar background to someone else and still suffer from sexism/racism/etc. I swear y’all don’t think before you run to giddily type something about “wokeness” lol.

[@ArcadeProductions]

Ae

[@ioncekilledamanwithmyshoe]

Dahlia H. “The patriarchy” is not the complete equivalent to sexism. There is definitely elements of sexism, but it’s more like a system. It means “a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it. “ now, does these women who are clearly doing very well for themselves and are on the exact same rung of the privilege ladder considering they are in the exact same college seem to be under the oppression do the patriarchy? They seem to pretend they are, but they aren’t. There is no “disadvantage” that these women have compared to the men. I swear, you don’t think before you giddily type about something you don’t really know about.

[@simonsez2873]

@@dahliah.1689 Don't be stupid.

[@Cone419]

I went to see this movie without researching it. The only thing keeping me from leaving was hope that maybe I'll at least see the annoying characters die. My day was ruined and my disappointment was immeasurable...

[@oxfordeducatedhighschoolhe6989]

Same here.

[@ryanschneider115]

Reality is often disappointing.

[@c.k99]

Brads laugh at 19:03 now qualifies him for the role of Joker.

[@Tadicuslegion78]

Colin Kupsey the Cinema Snob presents: Jester

[@tangow371]

Gonna be a better one than Jared Leto

[@thegreygoblin5165]

Or the Trickster

[@Jmetclaf7053]

He was possessed by Rich Evans.

That was the hardest he ever laughed

[@shawklan27]

Man this movie was such a insult to the original

[@Noname15514]

And the mid-2000s remake lol.

[@shawklan27]

@@Noname15514 that one was shit but wasn't has shit has this one

[@Amitlu]

Black Christmas 2006 is Black Christmas classic compared to this.

[@keijijohnson9754]

I didn’t even need to see the movie to know that. Even the posters for this felt like an insult to the original.

[@keijijohnson9754]

9/9/99 It's Thinking - At least that remake tried! At least it wasn’t... THIS BS!

[@GamerPete101]

“God’s not dead for the left” wow

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

It was bound to happen eventually.

[@BaconTivi]

I thought the exact same thing as I was watching it.

[@antihinduismisbased]

More like "God's not dead for the neoliberal woke Twitter feminists."

[@Hromovlad1]

@@KeybladeMasterAndy I mean, that was essentially Ghostbusters 2016

[@rearview2360]

I cant wait!

[@jokerz7936]

Is it weird the moment they said "A Purefix film for the left" I was like I have to see this train wreck?

[@chasehedges6775]

I'd rather watch Courageous(2011) than this. You at least cared for the characters and there was at least a message about God, faith and belief. Plus, while it can be a little preachy, it's not trying to push an agenda.

[@chicostephenson]

that's not weird at all. in a morbid way I want to see the fall - I mean Rise of Skywalker and I know that's gonna suck.

[@joeyjojoshabadoo2508]

@@chasehedges6775 From the same guy that Made War Room? Nah mate this movie might be shit but so is that one. You re just biased

[@chasehedges6775]

@@joeyjojoshabadoo2508 Gods not dead was worse, In my opinion. Actually, there's I can only Imagine. That was awesome. A really good Christian movie with a great cast.

[@wolfpac1970]

At least wait for it to hit Redbox or Netflix and not contribute to it's financial gain at the box office.

[@weirdguy1495]

This movie is like Lilly Singh, the super unfunny woke comedy lady, watched Get Out and the original Black Christmas and thought "I can do this!"

[@INoahGuy1]

Agreed

[@chibikim77]

So they took the 1974 classic and pissed all over the original. Bob Clark is rolling in his grave.

[@Godzilla-tu2cd]

Well said

[@josevelazquez6573]

What's worse? This or A Christmas Story 2 ?

[@Godzilla-tu2cd]

@@josevelazquez6573 oh god! Their both equally bad

[@aiberlane3390]

Hardly classic, but better than this.

[@jaytheartman610]

@@josevelazquez6573 this because Christmas story 2 isn't sexiest towards men

[@MikePhalin]

Bloodless remake by a director who’s whole selling point was “it’s woke and all the men are bad.” How did this not turn out good?!

[@GasmaskAvenger]

Well...bloodless via late post-production editing.

[@chicostephenson]

I'm wondering how this turned out at all!!! How hi was this guy when he green-lit this?

[@GasmaskAvenger]

@@chicostephenson more like who's dumb idea was it to cut out the bloodshed after test screenings. This shit's gonnna bomb so hard as a result.

[@allenpoe17]

It's quite the mystery for sure. In before it failed because men hate women.

[@theoneguyoverthere]

A good selling point yes, but you need more than that to make a good movie.

[@allenpoe17]

When the trailer gives everything away just about. That's a good sign to be worried like hell. Gonna have to just watch it to laugh at how bad I'm sure it is going to be.

[@josevelazquez6573]

Just use A-list or Better yet stick to the original

[@tristanhartup4936]

It's clear that the director of this movie went to the Elizabeth Banks school of directing: "Who cares about plot or entertaining people when we can force feed people our political agendas and guilt those who don't agree with us when the movie flops."

[@InkAndPoet]

She LITERALLY said that was her goal!

[@DuelaDent52]

What’s wrong with Elizabeth Banks?

[@InkAndPoet]

@@DuelaDent52 it's a reference to her time directing Charlie's Angels... the 2019 version.

[@INoahGuy1]

Can’t wait for the Nostalgia Critic/Cinema Snob crossover review

[@chicostephenson]

those are always good.

[@pheunithpsychic-watertype9881]

Great. It's been a while since they did a review collab for a horror disasterpiece since leprechaun

[@angrypenguinreviews2798]

May be next year

[@aiberlane3390]

Dear God no. I'm a fan of Brad but not Doug, so I never watch those.

[@seanbirch]

@@aiberlane3390 I guess it doesn't really matter then.

[@SukiNoKoe]

My friend wants to drag me to this movie...but he has to catch me first and I can run faster :)

[@bigdad1211]

😂

[@antibiotics514]

Wach the first one and then the second one

[@SukiNoKoe]

@BK Beatty No he did not. 😂

[@Bishopsiccemmore]

This movie sounds exactly like I thought it would be based on what I saw and heard from the director. Politics in movies are fine, I would endorse it if handled in a smart and informative way, when it becomes basic, preachy, and distracting to the movie that is where I lose interest. There is no discussion at that point, only screaming and that does not condone proper civil discourse. I understand it can be heated so if you add a little to edge to it that is fine, but if is plays out as it sounds in this movie it sounds like their is not intention for discussion only to be "right". This comes from a person mind you who thinks frat houses are fucked up. I'll pass and still watch the original and be happy.

[@KevinStriker]

Wild that the exploitation film made in 1974 manages more subtlety and makes its feminist commentary with cinematic language; like framing men in an imposing way, being higher in the frame than the women (Silence of the Lambs does this too). Also, with most of the men in 1974 version just being dickheads or apathetic, it sows the seeds of distrust in the audience that anybody can be the killer.

[@ThatMissQuin]

I would pay big bucks to hear my Meemaw tell a PG 13 aristocrats joke

[@brianfuller7691]

"Politics Before Plot" was actually a good explanation of what happened in this mess. First, this is very loosely Black Christmas. Second, it's not just feminist propaganda but really preachy propaganda. This was trash and an utter insult to the brilliant original. I watched this with my wife who thought it was a parody.

[@kenknight5983]

'soapbox that then remembers it has to be a movie'- i think we've finally found the expression to sum up so much of today's content

[@motor4X4kombat]

I smell an incoming NC review next christmast...

[@INoahGuy1]

Try Next Christmas

[@LucyLioness100]

I think Doug might wait till next year. Besides he had more positive Christmas reviews this year; of course discussing flaws but he liked more of his Christmas picks this season

[@peterkrug2327]

Considering how Brad Jones has now done Cinema Snob reviews of the two previous Black Christmas films, I think it's a safe bet this'll get the Snob treatment.

[@GBmovieluv]

NC or Cinema Snob would be great at review

[@eduardogomez4275]

That would be cool, even better if it's a Critic and Snob crossover, no matter which show

[@SavageGreywolf]

the villain of this movie sounds like if someone tried to play a comic book supervillain for genuine horror.

[@waverider01]

The real villain of the film is the director.

[@Grandmastergav86]

The original is brilliant...this looks dreadful.

[@sebsignat8286]

The 1st reboot had some original idea's

[@Hromovlad1]

that's just how feminism works it's 2016 Ghostbusters all over again

[@Grandmastergav86]

@@sebsignat8286 It may well have done, the original is my favourite horror film. I couldn't bring myself to watch the first remake. I haven't been able to escape advertising for this next shitstorm.

[@sebsignat8286]

@@Grandmastergav86 I totally forgot I saw the 2006 reboot until I saw the trailer again

[@anthonyhudak9363]

Bob Clark is spinning in his grave and if he's still alive he still is

[@CarloisBuriedAlive]

Died in a car crash a few years ago unfortunately

Considering that his last two movies were "Baby Geniuses 2" and a talking dog movie, I think he probably would have been ecstatic just to get the paycheck. Bob Clark SHOULD have been a great director, but Hollywood never embraced him and somehow he was never able to properly capitalize on the cult status of Black Christmas, Porky's and A Christmas Story.

[@LucyLioness100]

Oh Bob is rolling in his grave. He sadly passed away shortly after the ‘06 remake when he and his daughter were killed in a car accident. He would’ve never given this film his blessing

[@JoeyJ0J0]

This version makes the 2006 remake look like the 1970s film

[@Unknown-bq9id]

And THAT'S saying a lot, considering how bad the 2006 version is...

[@geardog24]

So basically SJWs vs League of Men.

[@ikillomega]

Why do I feel like Doug's going to pull the beanie down over his face and go rob a bank?

[@razorburn645]

They're just getting psyched up to rob the liquor store after that movie.

[@indumatipngtuber2790]

Him and Brad are secretly the wet bandits.

[@circular7]

Not gonna lie, this is one of the movies you accidentally sold me on seeing sometime.

[@memorra]

yep, me too, as soon as it is available for uh ... downloading.

[@IAmOfAll]

Am I remembering wrong, or wasn't this largely the plot of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode? Only - that one involved demons in cheap makeup and was somehow more realistic.

[@BlazingOwnager]

I mixed up Black Christmas and Silent Night, Deadly Night for a second. A shame, I was hoping they could make a sequel where they go "IT'S RECYCLING DAY!"

[@grounddirt6882]

I honestly don't think I have ever hated a movie this much in my life

[@deathsyth8888]

Black Christmas I gave you my breath and the very next day you put me away. This year, to save me from fears, I'll give it to someone special.

[@chasehedges6775]

That sums it quite well.

[@allenpoe17]

Favorite comment of the day so far.

[@scottakanumba1heathen379]

So I take it Black Christmas 2019 isn't self-aware like Slumber Party Massacre 1982 was?

[@javelinmaster2]

Probably not I believe.

[@CinematicInsanity]

Hey Slumber Party Massacre was actually pretty good. Especially compared to this obvious click bait movie. This movie USED the Black Christmas name to drag people into their cringe worthy TedTalk

[@AngelofMusic04]

The thing that honestly sucks the most about "Black Christmas" 2019 is that there's a great idea for a modernized story with Imogen Poots' character and her story. As was pointed out by Brad and Doug here, the original is astoundingly subversive for the time period because a major plot point is Olivia Hussey wanting to get an abortion and dealing with her emotionally abusive relationship with Keir Dullea, plus the movie literally ends with her beating him to death with a fire poker, a very phallic looking piece of equipment. The idea of a horror movie centered around a protagonist who's a survivor of date rape is actually a great way to bring "Black Christmas" into the 2010s; date rape and toxic cultures is as topical now as abortion was in the 70s and provides some new material for the genre to explore (and "I Spit On Your Grave" doesn't count because Camille Keaton's rapes and assault are part of the plot, not the starting point of the character). The problem is Jason Blum shouldn't have said six months ago that they needed a Blumhouse scary movie to open in December just to have a scary movie open on Friday the 13th and Sophia Takal and her co-writer should have had more time to develop and finesse the script rather than submit a first draft that has every character outside of Poots be a one dimensional caricature of a meme. When a film makes me look down more on the character who's supposed to be fighting for the right cause (the Aleyse Shannon character) than the actual rapist character, then you're definitely doing things wrong.

[@JohnLouisBishop84]

Amen. And I really hope people don't get too harsh on Sophia Takal based on this. "Always Shine" was a promising little movie.

[@AngelofMusic04]

@@JohnLouisBishop84 I haven't seen "Always Shine" yet but I keep hearing from people more "in the know" about indie horror that she's got a great resume (save this).

[@JohnLouisBishop84]

@@AngelofMusic04 I just watch movies basically at random these days, and I checked out "Always Shine" this past weekend to confirm.

[@Disney65Fan]

Doug Walker and Brad Jones. Those two would pass as brothers.

[@theponydalek7923]

From the poster...i legitimately thought this was gonna be a medea style raunchy comedy

[@allenpoe17]

Now that you mention it. Yeah it does.

[@TylerHealy-u6r]

I walked out on this. I will never see a Blumhouse movie ever again.

[@Clay3613]

Yup, same fucking studio that ruined Halloween again.

[@INoahGuy1]

At least they made Invisible Man

[@Skull1Hunter]

Upgrade was pretty good.

[@Gideon13397]

@@Clay3613 I hope you're trolling.

[@EddieHawkinsII]

So Lifetime is making slasher films now? In interviews for this, Sophia Takal said she didn’t want to make a film that was “completely anti-man.” If this was her idea of not being completely anti-man, I’d love to see her idea of being fully anti-man, because it could hardly be more misandrist than this pile of pig vomit. Fun fact: Takal offered Gloria Steinem a cameo in this.

[@sonnyd.6777]

Woke films equals train wreck. Will Hollywood ever learn...

[@Openreality]

Nope irk get to the point that they force this so hard that they'll either have to change it back or go broke.

[@donaldpetkus1637]

Brad and Doug are such an entertaining combination.

[@JoelKellenProductions]

The first 30 seconds of you guys laughing is really telling.

[@MelaineT]

I tried to warn everyone about this ending like this yet someone flipped on me before it even came out

[@shawnwall5]

Nobody wants to be preached to. I want to be entertained when I see a movie. Hollywood needs to learn this because they will keep flopping.

[@KEVMAN7987]

This doesn't seem worth seeing even for laughs.

[@libRteedude]

I come back to this review every now and then (especially around Christmas), because it's so great seeing Brad and Doug's chemistry. Definitely one of the most fun Midnight Screenings episodes.

[@bluecoin3771]

We used to have a word for people that had to belittle others to feel better about themselves? What was that term?

[@eduardogomez4275]

The Wet Bandits watch the movie so you don't have to. Wow, listening to what the movie is about and how it turned out is unsettling; at least we can watch Brad and Doug giving it the roasting it deserves, so something good came out of it. Also, Doug channeling his inner Douchey McNitpick, nice!

[@spraragen88]

This movie tries so hard to be a feminist movie but it falls so flat. The original film is ideally one of the most feminist films of our time. Actually, most slasher flicks from that era are super pro feminist. Why do you think there is always a Final Girl, she is strong enough to take on supernatural killers like Michael/Jason/Pinhead or insane realistic creeps like Billy from Black Christmas. All the guys are either dead or the killer and its up to a strong woman to take them out. This movie is just trashy filth as Doug calls it Pureflix for the Left and yeah, he isn't wrong. It is super obnoxious the entire film.

[@bobatlee353]

Move over, Oogieloves. Cary Elwes has done another WTF movie to finish off this decade.

[@thewraithwriter22]

He's in this too?

[@AngelofMusic04]

@@thewraithwriter22 He's the evil ringleader.

[@christopherobrien8105]

All the flak over #ChangeTheChannel and I'd still rather sit with these two at a diner at 2 AM to talk about movies than anyone else. Not even their characters, just Doug and Brad!

[@NPC1921]

I'm glad I don't have to hear "You messed with the wrong sisters" in ads ever again

[@jamcalx]

What if this were legit the cinematic equivalent to the satire book "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories"?

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

Thank you for making me google that book. I'll have to keep an eye out for it. Sounds like a fun time.

[@jamcalx]

@@KeybladeMasterAndy from the detailed synopsis, it hilarious. And it's an early 90s book.

[@pheunithpsychic-watertype9881]

Fool. You can't be woke with sleep.

[@jongroskin729]

Brad + Doug = Solid gold!

[@SuperPwillis]

"The God's not Dead" of horror movies, brilliant.

[@thegagabouche]

I thought I was the only one! Y'all said what I was thinking!! Me and my husband turned it off halfway through. I kept thinking "who wrote this!?" The script was soooo forced and hitting buzzwords and triggers over and over too much but in an eye roll "we gotta hit on/say this too" kinda way. Meanwhile we're supposed to be scared but not enough slashing...I didn't even want to finish it.

[@Branchout1097]

All this movie did was make me appreciate the original 1974 Black Christmas all the more and I would encourage everyone to go out and buy it on Blu Ray or DVD or even just watch it for free on KZbin. It's really smart in what it's trying to say and feels like a well thought out film that's made to make its audiences feel unnerved and think. The same can't be said for its 2019 remake. Which Instead, resorted to ignorance, mistrust, and bigotry to get it's point across.

[@LucyLioness100]

Soon as I saw there was another remake, I knew this wouldn’t turn out well. Then the trailer hit & I watched without sound and just “nope this is gonna bomb big time”. This was a SJW type “drama” mistaken for a horror film idea. I’m fine with the director wanting to make a female empowering film, but wow was this the wrong way to go about it. Note for the future: make this story a dark comedy or satire and don’t steal a superior horror film’s title for your agenda

[@grapeshot]

So Venom was the killer all alone🤔🤔🤔

[@chasehedges6775]

WE ARE VENOM!

[@jaytheartman610]

Who knew Amy Schumer wrote horror films.

[@DieHardAlien]

Blumhouse Presents... *A Black Magical Stepford Wives Christmas*

[@MarioFaker]

Are you going to do an Old vs. New for this movie?

[@mttylerdurden9]

The 90s FMV game Nightrap sounds scarier than this 😅

[@coolnerdlll6053]

20 seconds in and I'm debating if they just saw Joker again.

[@filmfanaticx4212]

The Original film is one of my favorite films of all time (and like Doug, the slasher subgenre isn't one of my favorites either), so OF COURSE I had no desire to see this. Glad I already knew this was going to be one of the worst films of the year, but I had no idea this was going to be as batshit as you guys say it is!!!! I might have to hate-watch it on Netflix...

[@allenpoe17]

I'll watch it for that reason as well. Just for a laugh and for some hate.

[@allenpoe17]

Also love your profile name FilmFanaticX. Do you have a review site? I couldnt find a KZbin channel.

[@filmfanaticx4212]

@@allenpoe17 I was thinking before this came out, that if I KNEW it was playing to an empty theater, after like Jumanji or Richard Jewell, I would totally sneak in and riff the shit out of this Movie right there in the theater...

[@allenpoe17]

@@filmfanaticx4212 I'd LOVE to do that. See a bad film and riff on it live.

[@filmfanaticx4212]

@@allenpoe17 I don't have any reviews up now. I have written some scripts for both good and bad movies. But I've been trying to fine tune my ideas on how to present them. So, far I imagine it as a mix between Nostalgia critic and MST3K, and as I'm usually more lenient on movies, looking more for the positives than the negatives, I was going to go by The Positive Critic. Giving even the most heinous of movies a fair shot. I'll probably make a separate channel or something, though

[@rasheedshields4716]

This is really without a doubt, one of the best reviews i’ve ever seen. Great review. 😎😎

[@Blairoid]

Well, it sounds so fucking promising that I don't even bother to see it in any imaginable format.

[@flashrobbie]

Lisa Simpson would never steal someone else's film. Eight year olds know about about plagiarism. Also Paul McCartney would tell her not to be condescending.

[@MFields2178]

I want to be alive next Christmas just for brads review of this movie.

[@ryanpoggioli8602]

Great, another original and quite effectively creepy horror movie from the 70s' totally shat upon by contemporary filmmakers/producers who only care about shoving social commentary and politics down the audience's throat rather than creating a totally new and relevant concept. Is originality a completely foreign concept and taboo in Hollywood now?

[@bacht4799]

Ryan Poggioli sigh.. why can’t no one of those WOKE directors look at someone like The Coen Brothers and say .. you know what that’s is who I should try to be.. let the ,story, characters and the plot be my focus instead of them and political believes.. heck even Paul Verhoeven can plunge that off with political them and make it entertainment as hell.. in short try again and let the story, characters and plot come first then your political believes.. there is a reason why not everyone like Olive Stones.. just saying.. !

[@BigK13372]

Ryan Poggioli . . . Dude Black Christmas (2019) is the only creepy 70s horror movie that was ruined by modern social media aspect and wokeness. Literally none of the other remakes of 70s horror films showcase those aspects you described. -_-

[@ryanpoggioli8602]

BigK13372 Respectfully disagree. From the previous Black Christmas remake (2006) onward there has been an annoying trend in the horror genre of filmmakers remaking classics like Last House on the Left, I Spit On Your Grave, and of course Carpenter's Halloween and inserting contemporary social problems like bullying, sexual abuse, dysfunctional/highly unstable families, etc.. into the plot in order to explain why the villain's and or protagonist's life is so messed up and hopefully generate a minute amount of audience sympathy/understanding for the characters. If done well this trend wouldn't both me so much , but most of the remakes shoehorn these elements into the story, corrupting the original concept the movie is based on and spoiling whatever decent things the films' plot has going for it. Just my take on why these remakes bother the hell out of me.

[@JaycRam]

Show 'em how to make a good Christmas-themed horror/thriller film with your "Baby, It's Cold Outside" movie.

[@marikotrue3488]

I hope that it is not schadenfreude, but I just LOVE these reviews of movies that should never have been made or even green-lighted.

[@MarquisLeary34]

So the killers of this movie are basically /pol/ with a supernatural basis. Ooookay.

[@BigK13372]

Yeah, that is pretty stupid. I mean if they want to make /pol/ scary, then just do movie loosely based on the recent shootings; or a remake of Target starring Robert Englund.

[@MarquisLeary34]

@@BigK13372 Target? The Gene Hackman one from the 80's? And yea, something on the Christchurch shooting or the incels going crazy, there's gold to be mined here...just not like this.

[@BigK13372]

Simon Leary No. Targets, the Boris Karloff movie.

[@elliotstannard5621]

Films like this ruin the chances of better films, with more subtle execution, about the same topics. Such as Birds of Prey or... Actually that was one of the only genuinely feminist movies in recent years. Invisible Man did this too, but there was no way that could have been sabotaged by ultra woke nuts as it is based around a universal horror icon and taken in a new direction that appealed to fans of Get Out so people would go to see it no matter what. Birds of prey was riding off the back of a famous critical flop (Suicide Squad) and people were nervous about seeing it anyway. Add to that the terrible track record of suposed "feminist movies" and we have a problem. "Feminists" sabotaged feminists.

[@MultiSabata]

Doug is awesome! You guys should do more reviews together

[@floppsymoppsy5969]

Just by the description... Aren't they completely devaluing their point about rape culture in colleges if they make the villains possessed??? It removes any accountability

[@ronburgundy244]

Exactly, and not only that but by having the frat bros be possessed you can argue they are also the victims in some way. Meaning that when they're all left to burn to death, it comes off as very men can't get raped.

[@floppsymoppsy5969]

@@ronburgundy244 EXACTLY!!!

[@scottb296]

This movie was a real life South Park episode.

[@eduardogomez4275]

Only without what makes South Park entertaining.

[@DocDelray]

Can Brad and Doug just drop their character personas and just do these kinds of videos from now on? Cause them just hanging out and being themselves is entertaining as fuck.

[@MDMetal]

This is not Black Christmas. This is a traveshamockery with the Black Christmas title slapped on. Most likely the producers ordered the title tacked on in the vain hope that we'd actually go see it. All I know is that the trailer told us all we need to know about this one. It's Black Christmas in name only.

[@avatardecadewho]

I've never had so much fun laughing at something terrible. My friends are still upset with me for bringing them to this. I regret nothing.

[@SomethingSomethingg]

Omg!!! I was waiting for a Nostalgia Critic review on this! Can you please do one anyway Doug with all your scripted references and reactions and stuff?

[@GBmovieluv]

I would have loved to see just the scene with the loud guy that Doug was talking about saying What there's somebody in the house? that ends up killed. Because I feel I've seen that in teen comedies or something. I know it's messed up humor but Doug describing it made me laugh

[@nagaking07]

When a movie tries so hard to be progressive, it ends up folding in on itself, and becomes regressive.

[@delayedcritique6274]

But IGN gave it an 8.4. Surely IGN CANT be wrong

[@r.e.z9428]

Good God! Are you serious?

[@MikePhalin]

They were afraid of being cancelled on Twitter.

[@filmfanaticx4212]

IGN and CinemaScore should just stop...

[@angrytheclown801]

You can't spell ignorant without IGN.

[@DrSpookula]

William Bibbiani liked it as well...The same guy who said The Haunting of Sharon Tate was better than OUATIH...really.

[@theknightspalace]

This movie is so bad it makes Charlie's angels look like an Oscar nomination.

[@yetanotherrandomviewer]

Best midnight screening I have heard in a while.