BLACK TEMPLARS: AN UNBIASED OVERVIEW feat. Valrak | Warhammer 40k Lore

[@Volvith]

Ultramarines: "So, you can only have 1000 Astartes" Black Templars: "This says we can exceed that number if on a crusade." Ultramarines: "Yeah, it's so you don't have to continually replenish your troops when you're taking heavy and continuou--" Black Templars: _"There's no limit on how long crusades can last written here..."_ Ultramarines: *_"... ... Fuck."_*

[@Johan_the_Marshal]

Yes

[@Irmarinen]

This is true.

[@alsatusmd1A13]

And that’s why there is only war in the 41st millennium.

[@95keat]

Whispers into your ear *It's free initiates*

[@DirtyMardi]

Rubybooty Guiltyman made a severe oversight and deserves a spanking

[@logangrimnar3800]

Black Legion enters real space: Abaddon: "Alas, after centuries of slumber we have returned to tear down the Imperium and it's corpse emperor, an entire fleet of Chaos Legionares and demonhosts! All with the element of surpri-" *CRASH!!* Abaddon: "The fuck was that?" *From a distance* Sigismund: "Abaddoooooooooooon!!!!!"

[@scottlock8584]

Lol

[@derrekmitchell1264]

"YEET-A-LEE-DEET MOTHERFUCKER, I'M PACKING SOME IMPERIAL HEAT!!!" -Sigismund, First High Marshal of Black Templars, before charging at 500 mph to clap traitor cheeks for a good thousand years

[@ladywaffle2210]

"You cannot surprise a foe who is always vigilant--and an eternal crusade demands an eternal watch."

[@petulantpeterturbo]

He just jumped from his ship onto Abbadon's flagship.

[@antonyschenk4513]

Abaddon: "Oh shit."

[@imperialfist2304]

“Hero of Helsreach!” The crowd cheered As if there was only one.

[@hinumayyyy]

:(

[@drsatanrx]

The guardsmen were the heroes of helreach

[@Sparten7F4]

I came here to laugh Not cry.

[@l33t9r0u93]

"Artarion !" "Goodbye...Brother..."

[@Nostroman_Praetor]

And then he goes off to try and save a Loyalist Chapter from the Inquisition and their Ork Snipers...

[@TheLordofMetroids]

"Sigismond Had the best death." Rylanor, ancient of Rites, denies this as well.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

but he did not seek any glory.

[@flypuppet5425]

And that you think that he seaked any glory betrayed the true blindness that has overcome you

[@betalima1849]

For he recalled the virtues he stood for and the thing they have done

[@ronanoftheborealvalley4353]

He will not be detered from his vengeance he remember the lessons passed on to the son

[@LiteraltrashcanTT]

He is one of the Emperors Children.

[@puntellipuna1061]

“I should have paid more heed to the fact that the Black Knight, at a thousand years of natural age, could have stood toe to toe and matched blade to blade with practically any warrior of the Nine Legions. Age had slowed Sigismund, but all it had done was slow him to a level with the rest of us.” -A Sorcerer of the Black Legion describing what it was like to watch Sigismund fight Abaddon

[@dylantaylor5829]

"Instead, the ruined thing that had been First Captain of the Imperial Fists and High Marshal of the Black Templars spoke through a mouthful of blood, committing the last of his life to biting off each word, ensuring he spoke each one in shivering, sanguine clarity. ‘You will die as your weakling father died. Soulless. Honourless. Weeping. Ashamed.’"- Sigismund to Abaddon, upon his death.

[@pigtoast43]

@@dylantaylor5829 translates to "Your father was a bitch and you are too"

[@SanktBeautancus]

A sorcerer? The guy that made Magnus kneel to Abaddon is not A sorcerer, he is The Sorcerer. Unless Ahriman is present, and then it's re-deathmatch time.

[@gama343]

Honestly, I don't think Sigismund slowed down any. By that point he was probably better than ever, seeing as he was several times more experienced than the last time any of them saw him, and Astartes don't really get slow or weak with age. Those Chaos boys finally got boosted up by daemon juice enough to keep up. Imagine if they trained hard instead of spending all that time trying to figure out rituals for temporary power boosts, or jumping through hoops to earn Chaos Champion status.

[@dylantaylor5829]

@@gama343 Nah. It makes sense that he slowed a bit. Astartes don't suffer as much from aging, but it still affects the really ancient ones. Dante describes aching bones and stiffness and a body that doesn't quite respond as well as it used to.

[@IdioticSynergy]

Tonite on Ridiculous Gear: Kirioth shapeshifts into Valrak, Bricky discovers Valrak's Imperial Fist used jar collection, DK gets taken to a Greggs by force and Shy wonders who is supplying all these British Warhammer nerds.

[@rita6355]

Games worshop is a British company

[@IdioticSynergy]

@@rita6355 I know mate ^_^

[@frankfelerski1043]

This is why I read the comments, they should hire you to write these in the video description

[@IdioticSynergy]

@@frankfelerski1043 I would love to do that lol

[@FIRSTNAMELASTNAME-zt4kf]

But who's the stig?

[@roseriot4063]

Fun fact that was not mentioned: Them chaining their weapons to their hands is a gimmick taken from the World Eaters because Sigismund and Kharn were sworn brothers, which basically means they were best friends and Sigismund spend a lot of time in gladiator pits fighting along side Kharn.

[@worldeater2414]

They stole our whole drip

[@ryantice1186]

I think you got names mixed up. Kharn’s chain brother was Argel Tal. Delvarus, the Captain of the Triarii and like the undisputed best pit fighter of the World Eaters was the chain brother of Sigismund.

[@roseriot4063]

@@ryantice1186 Probably right. Still he was buddies with Kharn and took chaining weapons from World Eaters

[@goreobsessed2308]

What's really neat is this was a real world practice whith earlier calvary Knights. They would use rope or if a noble or rich mercenary chains to tie their weapons to their vambraces. That way if they dropped em they could easily recover.

[@bennetttan8535]

And then Kharn got murdered by siggy which is kinda sad...

[@JR-rv3xr]

As a young teenager in the early 2000s my first army was the Imperial Fists. Back then I just collected them because I liked yellow not knowing anything of their lore. Going through school I was really bad at English, but was really good at Maths and Science because I'm Dyslexic. Now as an adult I'm a fully qualified Civil Engineer. I design roads, bridges and yes even walls! Listening to this and the Imperial fists lore makes me realise I was always destined to be an Imperial Fist. Dyslexic Rogul Dawn and his team of Civil Engineering wall buddies. All like me 😁

[@adaelion3772]

Ho Brother! We engineers build the world on firm foundations, only because bodies make for unstable soil.

[@MiishaKorvian]

So thats why Dorn can't read

[@TheSuicidalGiraffe]

A True Son of Dorn

[@JR-rv3xr]

@@adaelion3772 Yep darn straight. Human flesh does have low bearing capacity. My specialism is actually Geotechnics. What's yours? :)

[@craigperkins3682]

The prophecy was true.

[@sarnicholas4053]

Valrak is completely right. Ol' mate Siggy BODIED Khârn. Actual quote: "Khârn never even saw the killing blow. The sword edge hurled at him with all the weight of emptiness, all the speed of eternity - so magnificent in it's nihilism that even the great god within him could only watch it come." Sigismund canonically left Khorne himself dumbfounded with a display of swordsmanship.

[@FireTalon24]

This is after essentially Black Knight-ing him too if I remember the quote correctly. Turning him into a raging torso.

[@dylantaylor5829]

What's this from?

[@sarnicholas4053]

@@dylantaylor5829 it is from the Siege of Terra book "Warhawk" by Chris Wraight. And as if that wasn't enough, there's also a LEGENDARY duel between Jaghatai Khan and Mortarion.

[@worldeater2414]

Proof bad writing is acceptable by fans lol

[@Robotryx]

​@@worldeater2414 exactly

[@JJennerUK]

I know Valrak is the guy for Fists but man did he miss some super cool Info: Sigismund basically being disowned by Dorn until the very end of the siege. Where Dorn basically said, My favourite son make them hurt like they hurt us. After which Sigismund 1v1'd every single other 1st captain from the traitors and won Grimaldus being the the only survivor of the Templars at Helsreach including the Emperors Champion, and those relics on his model are from the Church that dropped on him Templars chain thier weapons like World Eaters as Sigismund and Kharn were bros Just some of the cool stuff missed

[@42ndguardian]

Grimaldus literally bitching so hard at a guy they come back to life

[@drsatanrx]

Yeah.... they dropped the ball on this episode. It needs to be deleted from history like the other 2 primarchs

[@FireTalon24]

I don't want to be mean but Valrak is driving me nuts. I just don't think he's a good storyteller.

[@undeadexotitan5401]

I had the same thought. The Black Templars are cool enough without over selling them

[@rhyswiland1027]

He barely covered anything and what he did mention was missing half the context. "So basicleh this guy is really awesome and strong basicleh"

[@ChapterMasterValrak]

I am not biased, I only speak the truth...

[@cethapplegate594]

And we all know what happens to people who speak the truth in the Imperium.

[@DanielWW2]

Even your own Primarch called them and I quote: "Absolute lunatics".

[@IdioticSynergy]

Did they pay you in Greggs gift cards?

[@MrMuelltube]

@Chapter Master Valrak That would a biased Person say. ALWAYS!

[@MakeLoveNotWar687]

Pls. chapter master valrak will you come back for the dorn heresy

[@andreaniccoli8669]

Kharn vs Sigismund is one of the best duels in the Horus Heresy series, they were once best friends before fighting on opposite sides of the war. The entire duel is a battle of ideology between Kharn and Sigismund, both fighting to prove that their philosophy of war is better. Sigismund fought for duty and blind loyality, Kharn fought for the sake of fighting and the trill of battle. Kharn even has a vision of the future Black Templars in the middle of the duel and want to kill Sigismund to prevent him from founding them.

[@TheKlawwGang888]

What book is that from?

[@Scorpionwincheater88]

What book

[@arandomguardsmen]

What book!!!

[@leroidespinguins]

@@arandomguardsmen Warhawk from the siege of terra series. It's a vision of black templar but more or less of the post-heresy space marines. The ones that are way more disconnected from their humanity compared to the heresy-era space marines.

[@momowentboom]

Kharn in his mindless rage while seeing what Sigismund has become saying "I am not as damaged as you" was on another level for me

[@velphidrow]

Valrak got the black Templar thing wrong. They got around the codex bc as long as you're on a crusade you can recruit as many people as you want. Hence why they're on an eternal crusade against the enemies of man. Also Siggy is one of *2* people Abby ever honored in death. The other is Reclusiarch Thalastian Jorus of the Blood Angels. During the 7th black crusade Jorus lead a squad of death company who where surrounded and basiclly stranded in a flank against Abby. They slaughtered his guards and Jorus dualed Abby and left him scars that still exist When the imperial went over the planet they found the typical stuff with chaos ruined geneseed and desecration corpses Except Jorus and his brothers. Their corpses all sat upon thrones built from black legion power armor

[@BananenbaumEY]

this. so much this. I dont even know why the fuck they invite valrak. He doesnt really know a lot about the lore, i dont think more than bricky for a second. PLUS: he is the guy who turned shill. He sold the shit out of Eternalcrusade and got payed a fortune. Even when everybody knew the game was trash. He is literally a traitor to any 40k fan out there.

[@wesleywlee]

Okay, Abbadon just got some respect from me. A little bit

[@velphidrow]

@@wesleywlee jorus is a goddamn badass

[@wesleywlee]

@@velphidrow sounds like it

[@SirOrdo]

This is just another meme lore, there is no "crusade loophole". Templars just ignore that part of the codex, their argument is that they are so spread out that there is no way to prove their total number anyways. And even then High Lords have never enforced the codex 100%.

[@YoBen100]

Ultramarines: "Codex Astartes says you can't have more than thousand Space Marines per Chapter." Black Templars: "Screw you and your space book. We going to crusade forever and you can't stop me."

[@Codeman1930]

Black Templars: un-primes your primaris marines

[@blacktemplar1139]

"And screw your shitmaris"

[@augustuslunasol10thapostle]

@@blacktemplar1139 wouldn’t that get you personally executed by the chapter master

[@KermRiv]

this codex can't stop me cause i can't read

[@Lightscribe225]

Black Templars: Fuck codex! Fuck Chapter limitations! Guilliman: Yes! Fuck all that noise! Black Templars: Stop agreeing with me!

[@Legion1620]

Another cool thing about the Abbadon Sigi fight is that initially Abbadon tried to recruit Sigi, telling him that the legions bled to make the Imperium so they should rule it, not Terra or the Emperor. So he keeps making points and talking about how much he respects Sigi and hoped to spare him and fight with him at his side again until he gets hit with line: "You keep speaking, Ezekyle. Do I look as though I am listening?" Between this and the death line, signs point to BASED

[@wesleywlee]

“There was one… small… tiny, little kinda bad thing that happened”, the Templars have one hell of a PR guy here.

[@betalima1849]

Roboute the bean counter: all remaining legions must adopt my codex astartes. Rogal "i have a support beam of a book law i read for fun" Dorn: Very well. *create a chapter filled with batshit insane templars lead by his sigismund* Dorn to sigui: i despise you for what you have done but: have my ship, those guys and this loophole. Have fun.

[@evillaughinthebackground5732]

Here's why the Black Templars are so huge: according to the Codex Astartes, a chapter can ONLY have over 1k Marines IF they are fleet-based and in a Crusade, to protect themselves from being wiped out if too much of the fleet is destroyed. So they ALWAYS keep themselves crusading. Their fucking flagship is a Gloriana-class Battleship called the _Eternal Crusader_, for God-Emperor's sake! Bad. Ass.

[@waterloo32594]

It is a glorious vessel! It strikes fear in the hearts of Xenos, Heretics, and Traitors!

[@oniwahoo719]

It's a very nice space boat

[@stankobarabata2406]

@@oniwahoo719 It is Rogal Dorn's favorite space boat. Rogal Dorn: PHALAAAAANXXXX

[@Ghostpanzer]

And they’re only 5 Gloriana class battleships, they’re literally the biggest ship in the imperial

[@voidstorm6225]

xX_EternalCrusader_Xx has entered the lobby

[@krusk3544]

That broken sword is the sword of Primus from Helsreach, a member of his squad who died suddenly and tragically in Grimmaldus' first battle as Rechlusiarc, he wears ormaments of his entire squad from that battle, who were killed to a man by orks

[@larryking8217]

Wasn't it the broken sword of the emperor's champion? Was it Primus who became the champ after maybe...

[@ShadowGhost0117]

@@larryking8217 yes, Primus was the last acting Emperors champion when he fell.

[@bruticus1496]

@@ShadowGhost0117 Primus didn’t deserve death by throwing spear and waved around like a damn flag I think it was

[@ronanoftheborealvalley4353]

@@bruticus1496 no he was lit on fire the spear guy was the apothecary

[@krusk3544]

@@larryking8217 I grant you Primus weidled it for like 20 minutes, but it held value to Primus none-the-less, and therefore holds value to Grimmaldus now

[@Turk3YbAstEr]

I think Helbrecht's general reaction to becoming primaris was "oh sweet, we can crusade even harder now!"

[@GCLEM92]

Ultramarines: "The space book says this is bad." Black Templars: "WELL I CANT READ!" **Crusades forever** Ultramarines: **Shocked Pikachu face**

[@ratdoesgaming]

"TO FVCKING BAD BLUE BERRY I AM TO PISSED OFF TO READ YOU FVCKING NERD!"-the calmest BT taking to the angriest Ultramarine

[@faris7021]

Tonite on Ridiculous Gear: Bricky becomes a brother chaplain, DK gets his head caved in for being a furry, Shy becomes too angry to die after she sees a little guy, and Valrak becomes the CEO of intergalactic racism

[@spaceman466]

Hammond, I have gotten stuck in the golden throne help!

[@Onyex.]

It's the second episode renamer!

[@crusader2412]

Hammond, stop banging on the Necron sarcophagi!

[@CQBlitz0]

HAMMMOND! WHERE’S THE WARP DRIVE?!

[@Dracobyte]

Nice summary!

[@timeitself517]

The Black Templars are living proof that Dorn a lot more like Perturabo than he is willing to admit

[@Dracobyte]

But he is not an arrogant manchild.

[@Duskets]

Inquisition: “remember you can only have 1,000 members” Black Templars: “🤓”

[@Zivon96]

"Black Templars, for the people who if you haven't prayed at least three times a day, you're gonna start praying out that airlock." -Bricky, 2020

[@ShadowGhost0117]

I just want to point out something in case no one else has already mentioned it. In one of the Black Legion books when Abaddon is recalling his fight against Sigismund, he basically admits that the only reason he was able to win (remember that Sigismund still nearly killed him) was only because Sigismund had gotten old and was way past his prime. Just keep that in mind, if Sigismund had still been in his prime and not been so old, Abaddons empowered state wouldn’t have made ANY difference. Yeah, Sigismund basically was the greatest space marine to ever live. Heck, Sanguinius one time said that Sigismund was less Dorns champion, and more the champion of death itself.

[@BrotherGS]

Cant believe they went over Sanguinius calling Sigi "death incarnate"

[@SumDude129]

30:36 Helsreach NEEDS to be a book club episode. It is definitely one of the best 40k books

[@Dracobyte]

How so? Just asking.

[@thisisstartacus1175]

Adeptus ridiculous: Games Workshop has never ripped off another source. Me: *reading the Bible*

[@averagecayde6enjoyer520]

same here lol

[@AgentHurley]

Gotta say having Valrak come on and playfully argue was very fun. I want to see Leutin defend the Ultramarines

[@raider3167]

By the time Sigismund was killed, he had gone from Dorn’s favorite son to the only one specifically kicked out of the Imperial Fists in disgrace, disguised as a promotion. Dorn had hated Sigismund since the man was forced to become Emperor’s Champion on Terra.

[@pat120180]

Pin Ideas! 1. Dodge Vandire paws 2. A Little Guy 3. Cat Guardsmen going "Nyan!" 4. A pin of each of you making a "I am so done with this conversation" face.

[@mjmorningstar8923]

i would buy each of these, and 3 of the cat guardsmen

[@Dracobyte]

I think they have made number 3.

[@Verdis_deMosays]

Came to learn about the Black Templars. Learned almost nothing. Loved every minute of it. Would rate 5/10 for Dorn's finger count.

[@Adeptusridiculous]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/oXzVomuQiKaYgdU Improved sound version. This ep was released with a slight sound error where Valrak was quieter compared to the other hosts, and while it's not unlistanable or anything it was a bit annoying. It has been fixed on all podcast platforms. On youtube however it's impossible to fix without a reupload, so here's an unlisted version of the new episode with fixed sound. Sorry about that :>

[@Dracobyte]

No worries, thank you for your efforts!

[@wash016]

Sigismund isn't the superman of space marines, he's the Doom Slayer. He was so powerful and terrifying, The God Empiror himself personally declared him the Sword and Wrath of The Empiror!

[@wash016]

Um... thank you?

[@joshley1320]

Kharn is the doom slayer sigismund is master chief 😂

[@Significantharrassment]

​@@joshley1320And your head is gonna end up on top my banner

[@joshley1320]

@@Significantharrassment 😂😂😂 so edgy

[@Significantharrassment]

@@joshley1320 They really need to forbid the usage if this emoji, I can't think something more heretical GOD this so cringe oh my Emperor

[@temporary_error_3264]

I have no idea why, but despite this entire video being about the Black Templars… I never felt as if it was. I just kept thinking it was another Imperial Fists episode.😅

[@fackensac]

Since you guys already did my favorite chapter (Lamenters), I never expect it to happen but I hope one day my other favorite chapter which is the one I play (Crimson fists) and my boys Pedro and Polux get covered! Love ya'll!

[@moodyfingers7301]

"But the codex says we can't do th" "WELL I CAN'T READ!"

[@seanallard9335]

An idea for the pins: it's an Black Templar and a Sister of Battle furiously typing on a keyboard with the caption "Competitive Racist." Then you have an Ultramarine on a joystick, and a guardsmen with a controller with the caption "Casual Racist."

[@sergiogp12]

You can exceed space marine numbers if you are on crusade. So they declared eternal crusade. Surprised valrak didn't go over how weirdly organized the chapter is.

[@sergiogp12]

For context, they don't have companies, just ad-hoc crusades. A veteran (sword brother) is promoted to marshal (captain) to lead a crusade. Initiates (regular Marines) mentor and fight alongside neophytes (scouts) mirroring knights and their squires.

[@garrettmcmurry1436]

The Flesh Tearers are the loud red headed stepchild of the Blood Angels and I love them for it.

[@eblack3043]

@9:25 - Bricky's laugh at the mention of Sigismund being the most bad ass Astartes ever... hilarious! I had the same exact reaction at the same time

[@m3tr0id86]

This Chapter that I saw in the animation Furry Apocalypse with the Black Templar chapter was what got me in 40K to start with and I had been looking into 40K lore since. Favorite faction are Orks hands down.

[@kaynesylvar8277]

Brothers, AVENGE ME!

[@zerowolf0006]

We will spay and neuter until there is nothing left!!!

[@m3tr0id86]

@@kaynesylvar8277 :In a pile of furries: ...no mercy... :pulls pin:

[@RyanPercy]

I'm pretty sure, at least going off of colour and the fact they're so murder happy as a chapter, the Black Templar are much more in line with the actual Teutonic Order then the Knights Templar. Especially considering there are two other Templar successors of the Imperial Fist, the White Templars and the Red Templars.

[@DirtyMardi]

The big black teutonic cross and germanic names didn’t give that away, eh? :D

[@Dracobyte]

You are correct.

[@joshuapearson1530]

Nathaniel Garro is Best space marine. However, I must admit that I have a deep and abiding love for Grimaldus.

[@dukedevlan5457]

That helsreach animation made me love Grimaldus

[@thorinhannahs4614]

Sigismund is Perfect Duelist Incarnate and Grimaldus is Sigma Leader Chad. They all tend to cover different areas. Chaplains will always be my unit within a faction within a faction.

[@Dracobyte]

Why? No shame, just asking.

[@Mr.Crow1984]

"I don't care who Rawbutt Girlyman sends, im not following the codex astartes" - Random Black Templar

[@Karagianis]

31:02 Andrej, you're talking about trooper Andrej Valatok, tbh my favorite character in that entire book. I mean Grimaldus barely survived having a literal cathedral dropped on him, and Andrej, when Grimaldus asks him if he was injured too just answers "I had a head ache, then it went away." LOL

[@Metal_Maoist]

Calling Sigismund "Space Marine Superman" doesn't really fit imo. Superman's defining trait isn't being powerful, it's being nice despite that

[@ahoyturtle]

Well, let's compromise on Space Marine Homelander...

[@l33t9r0u93]

@@ahoyturtle nah that would be Lucius the Eternal

[@wiccanthropy1956]

Let's try for barrastan selmy

[@RavenMinis]

The space wolves do the same thing with their great companies, each one is technically a chapter

[@heavystalin2419]

@@willparker8498 Which ones? Traitors or heretics?

[@sparking023]

@@heavystalin2419 yes

[@MrGrimsmith]

@@heavystalin2419 There's a difference?! I mean, they're the followers of the coward after all...

[@veritasm.5032]

Necrons have 5 books: *complaining from bricky* Me a Daughter of Khaine fan: IM HAPPY WITH THE ONE I HAVE

[@ohyea8486]

DK, that Megatron reference works on so many levels. Not only because the badass moment from the first Michael Bay movie but also Abaddon losing and then coming back all powered up reflects the Megatron-to-Galvatron arc in the OG Transformers Movie. Honestly I thought that's what you were referencing and I thought it was cool that comparing Abaddon to Megatron works on two iterations of Megatron.

[@dantefortheparty]

21:00 ish Valrak talking about the Navigators and other Xeno and Witch/Mutants. The way TTS put it on their Black Templar Video Helbrect basically days they were planning to kill the Navigators last so they could actually get around and kill everything else.

[@FireTalon24]

From what I heard, Astropaths and Navigators are actually treated well because they're psykers who are ordained by the Emperor and can see his Golden Light of the Astronomicon.

[@dantefortheparty]

@@FireTalon24 also yes.

[@DirtyMardi]

Black Templars are undoubtedly the most hilarious and over the top chapter there is, which is what Warhammer is really all about

[@Bec-Son]

Valrak: beep boop robots boring Bricky: and I took that personally

[@RepKyle95]

The way Kirioth feels about Imperial Fists is exactly how I feel about Tyranids. Constantly got crummy rules, still loved em, so anyone who got a new nid army when their codex dropped and says "I always loved Tyranids" gets a look of contempt from me.

[@deerhawk7788]

Valrak

[@wiccanthropy1956]

Feel ya there. I always loved my terrible harpy mawlock and Ravener lists. Jormungandr forever!

[@alejandrorp5160]

Utterly delightful to see Valrak's Fists fanboyism taken down a couple pegs *chef's kiss*

[@cybrains3824]

On the "hiding" Custodes: They all took lessons with Creed and learned to hide behind lamp posts.

[@LCliffhanger]

Well, the Imperial Fists are the most stringent in following the codex after the Ultramarines, their the second most codex abiding chapter, the Black Templars also aren't the only ones who ignore it, also they use loopholes and such to try and justify it, though I'm pretty sure they outright kept it a secret in older lore so I'm not sure if their open about it now. The Space Wolves openly say "fuck the codex" and don't follow it in any way. The Dark Angels also follow it on paper but basically do what Valrak said the Templars do, all the Dark Angels Chapters answer to Azrael.

[@khylerbane4523]

“You are *Not* my son.” -Rogal Dorn to Sigismund right when the Horus Heresy began. I will forever love how of all the things said to Sigismund, that was the one thing that, for lack of a better word, haunted him for the rest of his life. Along with the fact that despite acting more like a Word Bearer than a Imperial Fist, the only reason he wasn’t banished by Dorn was because he was too useful to exile. Whenever Sigismund tried to get Dorn to accept or forgive him, Rogal just said “No” and that’s if Rogal even decided to acknowledge him at all. Sigismund never got back into Dorns good graces and it hung over him for the rest of his life. Probably didn’t help that he never once tried to course correct, he only intensified. I have no doubt in my mind that should Rogal return, he will do to the Black Templars what Emps did to the Word Bearers. Disown the entire chapter, take back both the Black Sword and Eternal Crusader, and tell them something along the lines of “You may have my geneseed, but none of you are my sons”. And then after telling the “truth” of the imperial cult that they worship he says that of all the Astartes loyal to the Emperor and the Imperium the Black Templars… like Sigismund with him and the Word Bearers with the Emperor… are the only ones that truly failed the Imperium, the Emperor, and above all else, him(Rogal). Because they turned their back on the Emperor’s decree by embracing Lorgars religion. And unless they repent and change course, they are now Renagade. And should they not repent, they will have a, as Dorn put it in tts, “chapter wide anger management session in the Great Rift.” I desperately want this to happen because of the character building Helbrecht, Grimaldus, and the chapter will have to collectively go through. As they will have four choices… 1: Repent and Reform. Using their brother chapters and following their example, they remake themselves as something new, but retain certain aspects. 2: Cry Heresy and become traitors, bringing the full might of the Imperium down on them(and get wiped out). Or get tricked by Chaos(somehow) and face extinction(both get the same results in the end). 3: Become a Loyalist renegade chapter and not change at all, but lose both Imperial support, and Dadorables good graces. Or be sent on a penance crusade by dad in the Grest Rift, ending the chapter forever. 4: Some combination of the three. Maybe certain groups going down different paths due to disagreements and the chapter being broken up. Creating all new sub factions. Also it has always disappointed me that their has never been a Emperor’s Champion character like Helbrecht, Grimaldus, etc. outside of Sigismund. Some that has been around for quite a long time or is one *the* definitive Black Templar characters. Bayard and maybe Lienhert are the only two other than Sigismund I can think of. Instead the chapter just runs through Emperor’s Champions like copy paper. Kind of a waste of good potential if you as me. And on the topic of the Emperor’s Champions, I read that the “Black Swords” aren’t all swords, but all 11 of them are a power weapon of some kind. With that in mind I world line to see one of these weapons as a power axe, glaive, spear, halberd, power maul, Thunder hammer, power mace, or even a power spear.

[@firesoldier6627]

When bricky said "well he isn't here is he" my heart and mind broke Sigismund may be dead but he still lives on

[@HunterSentinel]

56:13 my fav is the chapter master of the carcaradons

[@obliviousotaku3042]

Hearing them talk about how much of a bad ass Sigismund is only makes me want to see an episode about Lucius even more.

[@romainrondeau4242]

You forgot the most important thing of all! "in the grim Darkness of the far future there is only War" is from Sigismund !

[@jacobmagure9452]

U def need another on this one. like it was fun, but you covered less then half (even in broad-strokes) of each character you touch on. Like The High-marshals rematch with the storm lord!

[@valhallasrevenge]

me : yes! finally my boys! an hour later. me : wait, was this meant to be about the templars?

[@zurross3485]

The Black Templars are not a collection of chapters like they said, what happened was when they were told that they couldn't have more than 1000 marines unless they are on a crusade so Sigi declared that the Templars are Forever on a Crusade which to this day has not ended.

[@evillaughinthebackground5732]

Yeah, a chapter can ONLY have over 1k Marines IF they are fleet-based and in a Crusade, in order to protect themselves from being wiped out if too much of the fleet is destroyed. So they ALWAYS keep themselves crusading. Their fucking flagship is a Gloriana-class Battleship called the _Eternal Crusader_ Bad. Ass.

[@reaver102102]

@@evillaughinthebackground5732 Fleet based doesn't have anything to do with it. Its just about being on a crusade. When a chapter is on crusade they suffer significant attrition and as such need additional capacity to offset the loss. Any chapter can go on a crusade.

[@thefeatherbird_]

This is actually a myth/fan theory. The codexes since 4th all state they only go over chapter strength because the dont give a fuck about the codex astartes

[@reaver102102]

@@thefeatherbird_ Yeah looks like you're right. Checked my 4th and 9th edition codex and didn't see it.

[@RanRayu]

@@thefeatherbird_ i believe its also a thing that they have only 1k space marines when they are asked about it, but have just so many battle ready initiates and neophytes. wich is why the crusader squads have 10 models and technically only 1 space marine with the other 9 being initiates and neophytes. wich must make for interesting times if an inquisitor crosses their path. inq: you're not following the codex, you've got more than 4 thousand marines here. bt: no, we dont. inq: but i can see them... bt: those are not marines. inq: but they're armed and armored like marines... bt: they're not. they're initiates and neophytes. now stop asking questions and go away, we've got heretic filth to kill and you're slowing us down from delivering the emperor's justice.

[@kareemrodney3263]

Gotta be one of my favorite episodes by far with Valrak gushing over the sons of dorn and bricky trying to reel him in every so often.

[@Fen_Wolf]

Great episode guys having Valrak on here was such a joy! Hope to see other people for more episodes Like Baldermort for Blood Angels for example.

[@ashrog82]

Reset the BA timer!

[@Saehuhhbatch]

DK just on fire with these roasts man holy shiet! Looking forward if they just get in a vc and they all just talk smack about each other legion.

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

When they were talking about how and why the black templars are the largest loyalist chapter, there was a single line that just made me instantly think "WE'RE GOING TO MAKE OUR OWN LEGION, WITH BLACK JACK AND HOOKERS."

[@NameIsDoc]

That's pretty SLANESH. It's more "With black armor and force swords"

[@PoorManatee6197]

Wouldnt that be the space wolves? Each great company is like a chapter

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@PoorManatee6197 hey, they said it, I'm just paraphrasing from the video

[@11Bbq]

I ordered my first Black Templar set and five hours later I see this on my feed. The emperor provides. 🙏

[@JohnDoe-zl6qw]

*The **_Codex Astartes_** limited chapters to 1,000 Space Marines. However, there's an exception: if a chapter is on Crusade, it may **_temporarily_** exceed this limit. The Black Templars found the loophole in Guilliman's restriction; they simply declared themselves on an Eternal Crusade (their flagship is even named this), allowing them to legally exceed the 1,000 chapter member limit. They number somewhere around 6,000 Space Marines.*

[@Dracobyte]

Possibly more.

[@QuinnleyGoff]

I honestly wish there was a channel like this for Old world/AOS, but oh well...Love you guys! ;)

[@docholliday9741]

“There was one… tiny… small… kind of bad… incident that happened…where one of the crusades killed all the Primaris marines and the Custodes that was escorting them.” I literally laughed so hard I was crying the whole five minutes that segment went on. Bricks sounds pissed

[@marmyeater]

22:15- Yes for regular humans, NO for astartes. Aside from the Black Templars and maybe 1 or 2 chapters that nobody knows about all the space marines remember the emperor isn't/wasn't a god.

[@lazynomad3956]

TTS Emperor got me to love the Imperial Fist PRASE BE THE SONS OF LORD ADORABLE

[@TheRaikoku]

I really enjoyed this episode, the amount of banter, the takes, the totally not biased opinions and DK can't say he is a noob on 40k lore anymore, he really knows a hella lot more than the average fan at this point

[@cazador7131]

Are we going to ignore what happened after they killed the custodian? Their all standing around the body, this giant golden guardian of their own God. Even larger and stronger then they are. The individual hand crafted by the emperor's decree. Lying dead at their feet with a pool of blood slowly pouring out of him. What did they say to each other! Someone lightly kick the body, "umm, yeah he's dead. Oh shit. Well what are we supposed to do with him now?" The whole thing just goes off like that weekend at Bernie's thing where their proping him up for the cameras.

[@korstmahler]

Quoth the Book "Maleficarum delenda est" by Battle Brother Tarkus (m38): "PURGING WITH MY KIN, THESE HERETICS WILL REEL. MY SWORD'S CHAINED TO MY ARM, SO BLOODRAVENS CAN'T STEAL."

[@Qardo]

Space Marine: *Whole church dropped on his head* Orks: HAHAHAHAH! No, way that Space Merine gittin' up from that! *Space Marine slowly rises from the rubble and seems to be bigger than before* Ork: OMGFAMFDAGS$RASFDA!!!! OH LAWD!!!!!! RUNNNNN!!!! Space Marine: *Revs chainsword* I am surrounded by death and fear. *The slaughter begins a new*

[@l33t9r0u93]

Was that the Darth Vader meme quote ?

[@Qardo]

@@l33t9r0u93 Not a meme, it was a literal quote from the Vader Comic.

[@thomasalegredelasoujeole9998]

High marshall Helbrecht : cheap 40k version of a blender with anger issues… Kharn is a possessed agricultural thresher machine in that analogy ^^

[@archeverything]

Black Templars are more Teutonic Order than anything if I had to say which crusader order they seem to be based on.

[@forickgrimaldus8301]

They are even Germanic in names so yeah

[@nicksanderson5059]

Name of the templars, cross of the hospitallers, colors and mindset of the Teutonic knights

[@Gormathius]

35:13 He probably just goes up to whoever he's hiding from and shouts "YOU DON'T SEE ME!"

[@ZeroSpeaks]

I know you guys aren't super serious about this show, but I kinda expected the Black Templars episode to have more than 2 tidbits of Black Templar info. It just like Valrak wanted to wrap everything back to the Imperial Fists and could have given a fuck less about the Templars

[@worldeater2414]

Same thing happened with the World Eaters episode, it was just a simp show for Lotara and her abs

[@ZeroSpeaks]

@@worldeater2414 Oh god yeah. That joke was old by the end of the original episode.

[@brucesshipyards744]

lol, the ad started when Valrak was about to go on his 'here's why I hate Chaos' rant

[@p3BA]

In my headcanon: Emps will return in some form _or_ Guilliman & the Boys start getting rid of Emperor worship, Sisters and Templars resist heavily, a separatist faction is formed, the separatists believe that they must save Big Emps from the heretical Guilliman & the Boys, a civil war begins and rages for some time, Big Emps comes back, Big Emps is high on power from all the mega religious separatists praying and praising like no tomorrow, Emps begins his journey to true godhood in the physical form, The Warp protests. Fill in the rest (Necrons win in the end btw but gl&hf in the meantime)

[@garpogods8323]

Unfortunately Chaos civil war between Red Cosairs and Black Legion prevents any advantage from being taken

[@holywaterbottle3175]

Nids win the war Orks win by proxy

[@Dracobyte]

​@@garpogods8323they are on a civil war? Since when?

[@chugachuga9242]

Don’t forget that in Battlefleet:Gothic Armada ll the ship that you ram with the phalanx, is a black stone fortress!

[@MegaInsaneMC]

Rough translation of Sigismund's final words to abbadon: "I may be dead, but it is not I who smells of bitch in here."

[@Shifty135792468]

You guys realise we don’t care if each podcast goes for longer than a hour right? Hell I’d love 2-3hr ones if the content is there to fill it

[@sheepeez8529]

I would love a MGS Revengence style videogame with Sigismund as the main character.

[@forickgrimaldus8301]

Kharn: There will be blood.....shead

[@sparking023]

Hmm, idk. Sigismund doesn't seem to fit, lacks edginess. Would make a perfect God of War, tho

[@skullslingerdave7975]

“Hey, why’d they need to clarify unbiased?” >Valrak “Ahhhh, it’s all coming together”

[@TheIgnacciousd]

I would love to see some ork patches and you guys should read da red gobbo. It is a novella about Gretchens and it’s pretty great

[@gabebell924]

You guys have no idea how long I've been yearning for this episode.

[@FullmetalArgus]

Since he didn't mention it and said it was just a miscommunication, no the Black Templars that killed the Primaris and Custodians weren't mistaken. Their Chaplain was zealous and said they were heretical, their Marshall said they weren't. So he killed the Marshall, promoted a lackey to the new Marshall who then gave the green light to kill every Primaris. Not exactly an oopsie on that one, especially since Helbrecht made a decree that all crusade fleets accept the Primaris so they were outright ignoring their High Marshall's orders.

[@AlmightyLoaf]

Bricky collecting more guests in his walls than the schola progenium.

[@BrotherGS]

Look if there's a primarch that's illiterate, its angron

[@stankobarabata2406]

18:34 I think every Imperial Fist, myself included, sighed alongside Valrak.

[@GhstTwnzFnst]

How could Valrak forget Andre? PUT SOME RESPECT ON HIS NAME!

[@jacobcoolcob]

My favorite moment about the Black Templars is when the Black Legion makes it back to real space. The Templars set up a giant gravity cannon to chuck huge asteroids towards the traitors. The Black Legion thought it was a crude weapon at first until an important Psyker character got a vision from one of the rocks. It was a chunk of Cthonia(I believe. May have been a different planet important to the traitors). The Templars are so petty and spiteful they set up an ineffectual as a weapon GIANT SPACE CANNON to say "fuck you and your dad!" Peak Templar moment.