Black Woman Giving Other Women Dating Game - Must Watch

[@taheeshab.4208]

My friends call me Queen of cut offs. I am not beat for any bs.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

That's a good title.

[@cinnamongirl5410]

The woman who said ''don't let an abusive man on that you're leaving" No truer statement these days. I love everything she says here. I do believe these are the most important words a woman can hear, everything she said 100%

[@Simpliyvonne]

This goes for any type of narcissistic/abusive person . Once they realize they are about to lose control over you they go crazy .

[@TheOriginalScorpioBelle]

Never let any man know you’re leaving.

[@fisf.2148]

i know a woman in an abusive relationship who left her husband when she was pregnant with his unborn son so he doesn't keep beating her up. She went to give birth out of town and the husband found out about the hospital she was in. He travelled eight hours to the hospital and found her ward where she was in labour and started beating her up while she was in labour with hospital staff right there!

[@s.r.1793]

I agree with these ladies. I had a guy ask me on a date. After 10 minutes late with no call or txt, I called a friend of mine and asked if she wanted to go out...I told her what happened, to which she replied..fk yeah, lets go out, no use in wasting looking good. While we were working on our second round of margaritas, he called and was like..where are you...I said..not on a date with you. He was like.."I was gonna"...I knew the BS was about to commence and didnt want to even entertain it...I told him to lose my number. If he didnt have the decency to at least txt to let me know he was running late, dont expect me to sit and wait for that call/txt. That was a test to see if the bait would be taken...NOPE

[@jenbodhi1133]

I had a similar situation recently with someone . He showed up to the date on time, we got along well but we got into a small argument because we drank too much, I apologized even though my part was smaller compared to his and we both knew it. He did not offer an apology in return, just accepted mine and pretended he didn’t do anything. I ended right after and he seemed really surprised. I was like I’m not entertaining a man that can’t apologize, I know where that goes from past experiences- they’ll just expect me to apologize and fix everything everytime

[@s.r.1793]

@@jenbodhi1133 because in their world, they never do anything wrong and we can never do anything right. Believe me, I've been so much more calmer and zen-like since I decentered them...pure bliss

[@Liz-wz8dh]

I so agree with this advice. They just keep testing you in small degrees to see what you'll accept and if you don't put your foot down, it never stops. Hard lesson to learn but it's good to get rid of guys like that. They absolutely know what they're doing.

[@DestinyUteh]

💯

[@jenbodhi1133]

I learned this the hard way too, even the “ nicest” guys will keep testing and pushing

[@TM-nb9zf]

Yup i did this. One guy said "i want us to go thru some things just to see how solid you are" Lol...blocked

[@Alexis-ec9cl]

Wow huge red flag

[@attitudeproblem6462]

No second chances. Barely any _first_ ones.💅🏾

[@DestinyUteh]

😀

[@hayaq9991]

My ex husband became a monster after i got pregnant. Then used the legal system as his stage… my daughter and I have 7 yrs left before this is over

[@Emptytopfloor]

What do you mean? Legal system?

[@samaya05]

I think she probably lost custody

[@mariahlucia9307]

@@Emptytopfloorhe could have kept her in the state and even town they live in through the court system so he can keep tabs and keep harassing her. My ex-husband tried this with me as well. My son will be 18 next month and we are so excited to be able to move about the world without looking over our shoulder. I hope and pray this lady and her daughter are safe during these years. When she’s 18 they can celebrate their freedom!

[@Emptytopfloor]

@@mariahlucia9307 I had no idea that this happens! So, he’ll meddle if she dates others?

[@samaya05]

Always have a rainy day savings account that your spouse doesnt know about. Having it doesnt mean you dont trust that person. It only means that you are preparing yourself for anything in the absence of them. Death, being incapacitated and infidelity is real. You have to be prepared.

[@blkgurl2darescue]

Also, pay attention to who he hangs with as in his friend circle, his family, and just how he treats others in general. Always, ALWAYS listen to that little voice inside of you.

[@barefootedbougie]

Brilliant adivise 👏🏾 And don't let anyone tell you "you're too harsh" or "your standards are too high". Men or woman because some women give toxic advise too from their own low self-esteem.

[@Kayla-kd8ov]

fully agree, it's not who you attract, it's who you entertain

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

Have y’all noticed how men always start out with either “she’s right” because they know we are on to them ! 😂 or they will say “this goes for both men and women” because they want to gaslight us into thinking we are the same as them and just as bad. 😩🤦🏾‍♀️

[@TheCarnivoreSoprano]

The best dating advice I've ever gotten was from an older woman. That advice is simply DONT.

[@forevertrue1590]

Why not just stay single. If I have to be this cautious to be with someone. Then why would I want them.

[@LunaELugo]

I really like what one woman said about treating it like a director casting for a role. Quentin Tarantino spoke in an interview about how he couldnt find anybody to fill the Hans Landa role in Inglourious Basterds. He talks about all the people he spoke with and had audition and just couldnt find the right one. It got to the point where he was like, "Id rather just publish the script than make the movie with the wrong Landa." Quentin tarantino was ready to throw away a whole movie bc he couldnt find the right guy. He finally found Christoph Waltz and Inglourious Basterds went on to gross $321.4 million worldwide👏

[@michelleisme6242]

I do this with all relationships friends trainers ect……. 1 time that’s all!!!

[@ericfluellen8957]

Watching these testimonials by these ladies sparked memories of watching my mother in bad relationships and watching her accept cruelty as though it were the greatest commodity ever seen. I don't know if it was this commentator's site or another one where I watched a guy get up in a woman's face and say, "Don't ever talk to me like that and then follow it with, I love you," ladies. That is not love. Please get out of those kinds of situations. Never let a guy take away your strength, joy, intelligence, and sense of being. No relationship is worth it when you are treated like garbage.

[@pcru6851]

2 yrs and 2 babies into the marriage. My Ex became abusive his excuse for repeatedly cheating, i gave all my attention to our toddler and our newborn. His excuse for screaming verbal abuse to us, physical fights with me, and threatening to beat our children till they were shaking and crying was he was unhappy with us. I left after i became pregnant a 3rd time. I went home to mama and brought my kids with me. He and i have been separated for a 1yr and a half.

[@DestinyUteh]

I hope you are okay and doing better

[@pcru6851]

@DestinyUteh I still live with my parents. Eventually, I've gotten over the feelings of being a failure as a wife and a protector of my kids. I felt so sad. I had focused to much on the why did he do this and how did I let it happen instead of how do we (my kids and myself) get better. My kids are seeing a mental health professional. My newborn happened to be born disabled. But due to proper medical care and advancements for her condition. She no longer is disabled. I have a job that I'm content with. I help my parents with the bills. I can get things my kids want. After the separation, their father realized his shortcomings. We are on good terms. The kids have voiced they still want to see him. He and I are better at being amicable friends and co-parents than we were at being a together family.

[@kaybee1025]

Either you are a woman dealing with a narc or a guy dealing with a Jezebel ...they always show you their first red flag 🚩 during the first date Plus always trust your intuition...always😊 Good luck 👍

[@Alexis-ec9cl]

Yes, my ex showed up almost 10 minutes late to our first date. And he lived in the neighborhood of the restaurant. I went on to date him for a year and a half and I regret it. It set the tone for the relationship. He was always late and half assed. When I was 25 I would’ve let it slide but he was 35. He just showed from the beginning he didn’t value me more than he valued himself and what he was doing/up to. If I would’ve went off that flag alone I would’ve saved a year and a half of my time. Now that I’m 29, I don’t let shit slide. I would’ve walked out. Men should get to the restaurant before you to scope out the area for the both of you. I sat there and waited and I was early. He just waltzed in late without an excuse

[@redonyx5428]

I dropped my ex when he thought it was a good idea to start arguing with my mom. now, she has ways i don't agree with and she can be very ignorant but he wanted to get on his soapbox and be morally superior and i wasn't about that.

[@bobthebuilder69429]

God forbid he stand up to your toxic ass mom

[@catred222]

The woman at 8:40 gave brilliant advice! Do yourself a favor and plan ahead in life especially for those “relationship milestones”. Don’t put anything passed anyone no matter who they are. Someone can literally like you today and hate you tomorrow if they feel like it. Regardless of how much or little you have, YOU have something to lose whether it be time, money, property, health etc. Dedicating some time to research things to create a plan can save you later. It’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it!

[@childfreechick2980]

Men can and almost always switch up. What can women do? HAVE AN EXIT PLAN!!! And make sure there is a plan B , C, and D! Plan somewhere safe where you will go with someone you trust. Have a secret savings account. Get a burner phone. Never quit your job or give up your source of income. Keep important documents and keys in a safety deposit box or somewhere safe and unknown. Needing an exit plan for a bad relationship is just as imperative as having an emergency exit plan for a fire, burglary, etc.

[@CreopatraEmpressOmega]

I'm keeping my legs closed and my clothes on..😊

[@Sunny-tc3ul]

I agree stop giving them the benefit of the doubt. One thing about men you only have one time with you. Take from their playbook one strike he’s out.

[@Sunny-tc3ul]

Ladies also be careful with men who love bomb you.

[@phaedra5283]

Women think marriage locks you down to a person so you have to stay. And put up with bs. You don't have to stay but move in silence.

[@vrichards4363]

When you be emotionally independent and not co dependent. I felt that.

[@phiakate]

I think woman accept less because we are not sure that there is better out there. The more you hear the more you see that even the beautiful, intellectual or just plain rich women are still being stomped out by rubbish. It's becoming hard to believe that better exists that are not just an anomaly.

[@egresham02]

I love the advice the women were providing. I wish I heard this years ago when I entered the dating pool. However, I have learned and still learning to see the red flags and to run the minute I see them. This advice is also good for other relationships aside from romantic ones.

[@tycinoify]

Lady with glasses speaking facts

[@marethahoneyb1541]

Great advice when he shows you who he is n he will, run n don’t look back 15:22 Omg this Brotha right here did he say it all I absolutely agree with Everything he said

[@VeaRobinson]

yes drop him the first time he tries to play with you no second chances!

[@SEAndies]

Life is not a formula. Truth is you can never save yourself from ups and down. Just live authentically. To not have anything good or bad happen to u. Means UR NOT LIVING.

[@smfarrie2943]

Sometimes those bad choices can be life ending. That is why I’m the case of controlling abusive partners, it is key to not ignore those red flags.

[@t.l.c7481]

I think our culture promotes this mentality of scarcity thus you see many young women settling for such shit behavior. Many need to see their self-worth and drop the toxic energy. I’m in my 40s and I don’t have time BS games and people with a low vibe.

[@DestinyUteh]

Am with you 💯

[@A-Christian-Perspective]

Omg! This is what I need to start doing.

[@aselyne5631]

Never take dating advice from someone who doesn't have any successful relationship track record.

[@infinite88588]

13:44... my mother found out the day of her wedding my dad has a drinking problem from his mother. He was perfect when dating her. After the wedding he made her life hell.....All men are the same...they just wear a mask until they know they have u trapped then they abuse you....I've seen so much at this point i don't even want male friends....its crazy what's going on....the worst things you can think of men do.

[@thesacredbombshell]

There are no rules. People can fake sh*t for a minute too. People need to realize there are perfect relationships but this is still solid advice.

[@vrichards4363]

Love this .. great video. We need to have these convos off line. I love it.

[@Tajmaj]

I think one flag is too soon. I feel like things need to be addressed and depending on how it’s responded to impacts whether to cut off.

[@loudsilence6123]

Are any here married over a decade?

[@DestinyUteh]

Me 😊

[@fayelis]

So many women who are not in successful relationships are dating coaches now.

[@SEAndies]

Agreed it’s really ironic… and don’t act out if defensiveness and cruelty. That is swinging in the other side of the pendulum. Reality is it takes a strong person to give their all and move on gracefully and not grudgingly after they realize someone wasn’t it. Like dude. Humility is part of life keep ur head high and know they don’t deserve you. Don’t let that dictate the next blessing. Do NOT cast off others bc of some past rando loser. It’s called punitive baggage trying to punish everyone else for what 1 person or someone u learned a lesson u had no business w. That’s okay. Give grace and move FORWARD. Be open soft loving and prudent but not bitter and tbh. U are letting that bad person control your life and block ur blessings. Skee tee them and move On! That’s the real truth. That’s why I love Taylor swift. Sis is the queen of u ain’t it I make a buck and I move tf on. She’s a romantic and a sweetheart period. Capable of giving and receiving love. No matter what. When they act up then it’s a wrap. Doesn’t mean these men define her. That’s the vibe.

[@beautyininsanity421]

I'm confused. I don't think any of these folks are doing any of that...? Maybe I missed it? What they're doing is honing their preferences as they go along and realize what they do and don't like, which is exactly what they should do.

[@biblethumper8088]

​​@@SEAndieshow is a woman protecting herself from men punishing people? Men aren't entitled to women. Plus I disagree with everything you said. If men don't want to be judged by the actions of their peers, then they should correct other men like they are supposed to. But since they don't, let them be single. Women have no use for men other then provision. So its foolish of men to think they can toy with and disrespect the very women that THEY NEED to survive. And constantly searching for Mister right will make you a whore with several unwanted children in poverty. These males can burn in 🔥 for all I care.

[@levelupgoddess9289]

U don’t have to be a dating couch to give advice. U can simply give advice based of life experiences or experiences u see from ppl around u. Moats of y’all were listening to Kitten heels Scamwells give advice and he was a twice divorced baby daddy on back child support and YALL willingly too his advice.

[@rene3759]

plenty of married women and women in longterm relationships give this advice as well. None of these women seem begrudged to me they were just unbothered and new to look out for red flags and also keep to the standards, boundaries and expectations they set for themselves. They have the positive mind set that you can find your perfect match and that there are good and better people out there for you. Also you don't have to give your all it takes an intelligent person with self respect to know that you need to be cautious WHO you give your all too and to practice desernment with wisdom so you can be safe and healthy. I didn't see any cruelty here, boundaries and expectations are only cruelty to predatory/exploitative people. @@SEAndies

[@dj5180]

You’re never gonna miss out on a good guy on accident

[@coyotegaxiola4281]

"Psychopathic Behavior in Men" stich was my dad all-over. He almost took my mom out with a butcher knife when I was in college. And even after all that, my older brother and sisters had to convince her to divorce him.

[@smfarrie2943]

😮the butcher knife wasn’t convincing enough!!?! 😳

[@lawtowngirl85]

I would be in jail

[@DestinyUteh]

😲😲😲

[@Datb2]

Jesuuuu 😢

[@coyotegaxiola4281]

@@lawtowngirl85 Had I not been 3,000 miles away at the time, I likely would be in prison.

[@twilson951]

Find the "Good", in "Goodbye " ladies....

[@bunnybeetle1304]

Everytime i gave people second chances in dating, they screwed me over harder. I’ve given that up now. I’m learning.

[@kimallnaturelle]

Agreed. Disclaimer, though: apart from abuse, red flags are only red flags if unchanged AFTER being addressed. It's very unhealthy and immature to drop someone for an undiscussed red flag. That's wild to me that folx are dropping people like a hot pot like people are perfect. Humans are imperfect, relationships have imperfections.

[@biblethumper8088]

Seems like these desperate people better start being perfect. Imperfection is no longer accepted.

[@catcat9582]

Aren't those yellow flags? Red flags are like yelling at you or telling you he thinks women are less intelligent than men. I thought red flags were non negotiables

[@biblethumper8088]

@@catcat9582 anything that goes against your principles is a red flag. Even a person leaving their clothes on the floor or not washing their dishes is a red flag. They are being themselves and showing you what labor they will cause you if you become entangled with them.

[@Sunny-tc3ul]

So you will give a man a second chance for cheating on you? You will give him a 2nd chance for lying to you? Even after you confronted him? You even have the receipts but you are trying to give him a chance to come clean but he stand firm on his lie. You’re still going to stay? He have a baby with another woman you are going to stay? If he cuss you out or call you out your name you’re staying? You have to have some self love. We aren’t talking about a dirty sock on the floor or clothing. We’re talking about the same repeating cycle of doing it. When do you say, I’m not your housekeeper nor your momma.

[@BABYDOLL87LOVELY]

#INDEED

[@UniquaDaBackyardigan]

3:46...first thing on my mind was North West🤣

[@fayelis]

If you have this mindset your better off single