Blindsided By A Breakup

Were you blindsided by a breakup? It happens! Coach Craig discusses.
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Coach Craig talks about having no idea your partner was unhappy and them leaving you.

[@mstirlz]

2 weeks prior "I love you and don't want to lose you", the morning of the break up "I love you so much" the afternoon, "I can't do this anymore" I've never felt so confused and rejected in all my life.

[@Adelina24244]

I would block that fucker everywhere. He is not a man

[@iryna4530]

I’m in the same boat today, it happened on Sunday. Any words of wisdom on the healing process? How are you doing today?

[@stanislav_kohut]

​​@@iryna4530it's been two months for you. How are you doing? Any answers to your questions?

[@alainpatry]

Craig, I think people who pull the plug on their partner out of nowhere are very disrespectful if the relationship has been going on for at least a year and both partners were transparent with each other. Whatever happened to “Can we talk? I’d like to put some cards on the table because I love you, I don’t want to lose you, but certain things are going to push me away if they don’t change.”

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Which is why I said dating this man is even scarier if she was correct and there were no problems. If there are no problems and they just leave, how could you ever feel safe with them? Which was one of the reasons I made this into a video. Dating a partner that does not communicate.

[@sshuteandrew]

Yes, if my ex and I got back together, it would take a very long time for me to ever feel safe again. And also, only very minor conflicts leading to our break up.

[@rawman18]

Alain Patry this is a very reasoned response.

[@MrMopeake]

I can totally relate because my girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me recently for the second time. One of the things when we first met that she said she was looking for in a partner was communication. Being that we both came from divorces where the communication was very poor I really thought that she was very special and not like most others. The first time she blindsided me was in October 2017. And that break up lasted for about three weeks. But I was the one basically doing the begging and pleading and she came back. Everything seemed OK but I was very cautious because something still seemed off. I was with her and her family on Christmas so I thought maybe I am on track. My birthday was on December 29 and she went all out for me. But I kept telling my friend even though she’s doing all these things something still seems off. So two days ago she comes with the lame excuse that she has so much going on in her life that she don’t know if she can be a true girlfriend or not at this stage of life. This is 10 days after Valentine’s Day where I treated her to an elaborate dinner and bought her very expensive bracelet. It makes me very angry because I believe she knew on Valentine’s Day where her heart was. To be honest, I don’t think her heart was into me even around the holidays but she didn’t want to pull the plug and look like the Grinch. To make matters worse she did the break up over the phone just like a coward. I told her I deserve better than that and that I’ve lost all respect for her because she’s a liar and very deceptive.

[@Vanessa-qv6kt]

I so wish my ex had said that. I knew things weren't as good as they could have been but I was in denial, believing the best. I know mistakes I made are easily improved on but he didn't give me a chance to do that while I was with him. He was showing me love right up until the moment he broke up with me. His actions have shown me love even after the break up. I would so love to have feedback from him so I know what to work on from his perspective.

[@terracotta2700]

I certainly know I was blindsided by my break up as well. It was rough. It gets easier though. Take it one day at a time, everyone!

[@summerscents8284]

That happened to me. I was blindsided. I found out a month later that he's already dating someone else (plus others!) for a little over 2 months. The day I found out the true reason, it was the day the love of my life died. My world collapsed bec I never thought he'd ever do that. I thought so highly of him and I trusted him my life. So sad that he's not the man I thought he was.

[@kirkv2262]

This happened to me today after 6 months. I got the typical “ I don’t want to be in a relationship right now because of my career being to busy “ BS! I was way too good to her. I feel like a sucker.

[@escatab]

I felt like a sucker too. Took forever to have a stable relationship again.

[@crazyforeventsct]

Same here.. "have to focus on me" and 2 months later - I miss you, I just don't' want to be in a relationship. I was with him for 3 years.

[@iDateAdviceiDateAdvice]

break up is a great time to reconsider your priorities! Take advantage of it!

[@sarahstinson6072]

I watch your videos everynight... i have ptsd from an ex, and have to take medication... i have night terrors everynight wake up crying, punching, and sweating, your videos are the only things that help me

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

I’m sorry to hear that happened to you. I am glad the videos help :) If your my Valentine, you can’t beat me up at night. (Unless we have a safe word) 😂

[@sarahstinson6072]

That can be arranged😏😘

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

lol

[@jimbobc1572]

Hey Coach. You make all the garbage we're dealing with so much more tolerable. Thanks for being there for us all!

[@lizfisher7229]

If I could like this video 100 times, I would! This was my 13 year marriage. Thank you, Coach Craig. My eyes were opened and the veil was lifted. God bless you! (On book 6 of The Knowledge, btw)❤

[@ShadrockMarciano]

I was pretty much blindsided, my gut feeling tells me she's always stayed in contact with her super long distance ex and she distanced herself from me for him....even though she told me that relationship was unhealthy and toxic smh

[@adamgreen8590]

Mine dumped me 2 days after meeting her kids! If she was cheating, I feel like she'd have avoided introducing me to her kids if she was cheating. I could also understand her ending it so abruptly if her kids didn't like me but she told me they liked me after meeting them and invited me into her home. Dumping me by text after introducing me to her kids is what throws me, why do that? She did give a reason, saying we weren't on the same wave lengths about careers and children, how could you realise that within 2 days?

[@nothingwhats628]

at least u guys in the comment section got the breakup text. i woke up one day and found myself blocked from everything without any explanation after being telling me "i love u and bla bla bla" .

[@tr9809]

Thank you so much for this video Craig, you've made me aware of the importance of red flags but it's also comforting to know there is a way through this. I had absolutely no idea my ex was unhappy in our relationship, because we seemed to be happy together we even discussed marriage and went on a holiday to Paris a week before the breakup. It turned out there was someone else interfering in our relationship. Even since I've bee in utter shock and have felt completely heartbroken because the future we had together and our love has been taken away in the blinking of an eye. She didn't communicate because she had been abused in a previous relationship.

[@selilatte]

Happened to me two days ago. He called me over, I was totally unaware, and called it off, said he's not happy, my recent and temporary health issue (thyroid) was too much for him. He wasn't ready. This is a man who was supportive and said his mum had it too. A man who initiated everything, exclusivity, meeting family and friends, talking about moving in, adding on Facebook, changing relationship status, taking me to his dancing classes, etc. He told his friend he wasn't happy but didn't tell me.....i honestly was unaware. I knew it was a trying time (3 weeks) while the Drs tried to diagnose my symptoms but he, again, was so supportive, even coming over just to put me to sleep and stay the night, even thou i never asked! He's still on my friend's list, relationship status is still there too. Not sure wtf I should do. Totally devastated.

[@lailbeeb]

Sorry to hear this. We will make it! I was left after I lost my job. They could never communicate how they felt and let the problems fester.

[@lizxu322]

If he won't stay with you for such a small medical problem, you dodged a bullet. You deserve someone who would care for you even if you had terminal cancer.

[@hungerxhunger]

After 7 years, I woke up one day to an ice cold reaction from her. I was expecting a “Hey! Good morning, love you” with her smiling face next to mine. She was unrecognizable, I felt like I got stabbed in the heart, I couldn’t breathe, tears were flowing. Sure, I made some mistakes, but if I knew… how easy would it have been for the both of us. Today, I’m still in pain almost 2 months later. I want her back, because all her traumas and flaws are beautiful to me. How she hurt me so much, but all I could see was the innocence in her actions from being scarred so many times in the past by her parents. How can I get her back if she’s already done all the grief alone though.

[@escatab]

It happened to me. Brought back bad memories. She was working with this married dude and slept with him. She got drunk and told me. She was happy to see that I was willing to reconcile. When I went to see her; she had slept with him a 2nd time and said she didn't love me anymore. I told her he was married. She said she would leave us both and move on to a 3rd guy. Go figure... To tell the truth, I never really stopped loving her; even now that I am married w/ children. 16yrs now.

[@Ssengel69]

Can't wait for our session!!!

[@crazyforeventsct]

ex broke it off out of the blue 5 months ago. We had a small rough spot.. he's so dramatic all the time.. and he wanted to come over and talk about his future and thought we were reconciling. We were intimate, chatted about his future and in the next breathe he said he had to go focus on himself.. we were together for 3 years. Red flags were there - he got lazy - didn't' want to drive 20 min to me. Always tired. No fun anymore and was always short with me. He's in sobriety and had all these rehabbers pulling on him so i always got ONE day a week with him and I was good with it at times and then asked for 2 days a week.. I mean I had a life too! He couldn't handle it. He gave me the i've MOVED ON email back in December.. and he blocked me everywhere.. whatever... I know I tried and was always sweet to him.

[@kelly6246]

Together 15 years. Married with children. He tells me about a young girl at work and in a matter of months decided to leave home and move in with her. I was blindsided. I trusted and didn't see this coming from him. Just days before telling me he wasn't going anywhere. What happened? Feels like he traded family for a fling, but maybe it's more. So abrupt. Idk.

[@jamesrounds4225]

Just my opinion. The guy sounds nice to help financially. Yet also sounds like he is keeping you as a back up plan if affair doesn't work. I am sorry for your situation. Put you first. Good luck.

[@ALVAJI]

Had a great relationship and then suddenly out of nowhere she has a feeling it's not going to work out in the long run. And just a week ago complained one comment about ethics. And then headed over with no explanation couldn't even see me in person and now blocked me on everything and then her and her dad came back to give my stuff to my friends house and she's 31

[@zeus-ow8li]

Was she really blindsinded or in denial about the fact her partner was/is a narcissist? Because he has the classic hallmarks of a narcissist. I sense she ignored a lot of red flags through this relationship. I feel for her.

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Yes, that was the point I was making. Blindsided or unaware? Not enough info to determine. Because it appeared to come out of nowhere (at least for her). However, narcissist is a big word to throw out there for him with only the way he leaves women being the information to give that diagnosis. He does offer to keep her on the property/house and pay for her to live there for 2-3 years. Awfully generous considering they have only been married for 6 months.

[@zeus-ow8li]

Coach Craig Kenneth I'm having trouble distinguishing whether he is being generous or covertly controlling her and keeping her as a backup while he spreads his seed.

[@dendritibus]

@@CoachCraigKenneth It sounds like the guy feels guilty and shame. Indeed, even if some people have problems communicating and can't resist cheating, lying, deceiving, and so on when they feel unhappy for their own internal reasons...in the end they have a conscience. Not that that alone is enough to excuse their shady and sneaky behaviors, of course... A very, very similar thing happened with my soon-to-be-ex wife. I think that the biggest trauma in these cases is the feeling you've been replaced and discarded like yesterday's newspaper, given the sudden nature of this type of breakups. And even if the other party acts as if they're very sorry for the hurt they've inflicted (as in the video's case, and in my wife's case), this certainly doesn't alleviate the enormus pain. I feel really sorry for, and can relate with, the woman behind the email: I went through a very similar thing over the past months. In these cases, which are classified as "monkey-branching" if I remember correctly, the only solution is to cut the other person completely off your life and give back only complete and utter silence. No drama, no fights: only disdain and contempt under the form of complete silence.

[@Finally4Christ]

So after valentines day and this past weekend would have been our 1 yr anniversary. I reached out emotionally in a text because of how upset I was during the weekend. I reiterated that I wanted to continue the relationship and he responded positively. We exchanged a couple songs and mentioned some upcoming concerts in April. No plans or anything, but a simple couple texts that reestablished communication. The next day he sent 2 texts asking me if I saw a movie and mentioned what he made for dinner. Small talk. I didn't respond. I'm too hurt, emotioanlly winded after the weekend and the past 30 days of crying and heartbreak. I don't want small talk, Im suddenly guarded and afraid. I need to hear from his heart about what he wants. Is he really changing his mind and coming back? I told him I wasn't feeling motivated to participate in small talk right now, that I'm confused and unsure what's going on here all of a sudden. And now its only been one day, but he hasn't responded. I'm hoping to go back to no contact which I didn't do very well this past month.. But I really want him to say anything reassuring. I feel like an apology would be nice even. I had really hoped he was going to come see me last weekend and since he didn't I was totally ready to give up. Why do men wait until its the basically too late before they decide they want to change their mind? I was completely prepared to finally accept that I was going to move on, then he suddenly wants to make small talk. Did I make a mistake by telling him I didn't want to engage in that?

[@sshuteandrew]

DJ’s aren’t the only ones getting attention from the ladies tonite Lol Thx for my video fix, Coach Craig!! 🙂

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Some women just know a good guy when they see one

[@sshuteandrew]

Coach Craig - 😂😂😂 Hysterical!! And true!! XO

[@sanlaw584]

My other left by text after 23yrs with no warning. We had some money worries + son in hospital but I thought it was a temp phase.

[@manishashukla9091]

Nice video sir

[@msmandycandy8898]

I fell hard and fast. Never did that before. He told me he loved me in a week. I was hesitant but I put both feet in. He ended up having to move so we decided to do long distance. I went to see him 2 weeks ago...we were talking about marriage kids me moving to be with him. Boom out of nowhere he moved 2 more times. Didn’t explain. We had a conversation about communication and he promised to keep me in the loop. Another week later he just stopped talking to me. He was supposed to come to my place for the holidays. Only thing he said is that he couldn’t talk and didn’t want to. Blocked me on everything and just disappeared. No explanation nothing. I don’t know what happened. And I’m having a hard time here. Any advice?

[@Eddieg56]

It's so true I was with a security guard his selfish in some ways he walks or leaves to go drinking every 2 weeks.i have him so many chances .yet he wants to work out but never changes for long...Yes girls...I'm wanting talk to you ...

[@crking36]

Whow, Craig I wish I can book an email coaching immediately but in South Africa exchange rate is steep and I need to plan and save before doing that..... for now I am purchasing your workbooks and soaking up your videos...... 😒

[@Meeposaurus]

my boyfriend of 4 years just broke up with me because he said he wasn’t in love with me anymore. i had no idea. i was so happy. how do i get over him because there is no part of me that wants to leave him

[@codydavis3100]

How are you feeling now?

[@Lucy-ql7tt]

Same thing has happened to me, it's truly devastating hope you are in a much better place now xx

[@julieyen2268]

Sounds so familiar. Just minus the wedding. Lol.

[@teresafulloption3873]

omg:) I don't know if I should be grateful for another vid or inform You that a large number of ladies start to feel more than just an admiration to you. How about a video titled "she fell in love in Coach Craig, how can I get her back:D" - I love when you are so masc line. Kisses:*

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

It's very flattering. I'll take all the compliments I can get :)

[@monicaperdomo227]

Lol

[@robertcollins6741]

Horrible I’m still traumatized I can’t do no contact because I have 3 little boys together what to do 🤔

[@sanjayagarwal3495]

I really wanted to schedule a skype session but i can only pay by paypal i do not have credit card c

[@dendritibus]

@Coach Craig Kenneth It sounds like the guy feels guilty and shame. Indeed, even if some people have problems communicating and can't resist cheating, lying, deceiving, and so on when they feel unhappy for their own internal reasons...in the end they have a conscience. Not that that alone is enough to excuse their shady and sneaky behaviors, of course... A very, very similar thing happened with my soon-to-be-ex wife. I think that the biggest trauma in these cases is the feeling you've been replaced for another "better" person and discarded like yesterday's newspaper, given the sudden nature of this type of breakups. And even if the other party acts as if they're very sorry for the hurt they've inflicted (as in the video's case, and in my wife's case), this certainly doesn't alleviate the enormus pain. I feel really sorry for, and can relate with, the woman behind the email: I went through a very similar thing over the past months. In these cases, which are classified as "monkey-branching" if I remember correctly, the only solution is to cut the other person completely off your life and give back only complete and utter silence. No drama, no fights: only disdain and contempt under the form of complete silence.

[@edusam666]

What am I waiting for? Man, coaching is expensive... Might be great but I just dont have the funds...😂

[@Nolaperu]

Wow!

[@sarahstinson6072]

You were everyones Valentine 😭😍

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

You didn't tell me you wanted to be exclusive ;)

[@sarahstinson6072]

Well now you know 😏😏

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Maybe next year! I’ll keep ya in mind :)

[@timepassvideo4713]

I hate when there is already a backup. Girls do this a lot than men. They always have that one guy

[@rwentfordable]

Yep! Lack of integrity.

[@manishashukla9091]

Nice