Body Comparison / & Body Diversity

I received a question on my last video about body comparison, so I wanted to share some of the things which have helped me. Things which I’ve learnt in my treatment (CBT-E), from books, from Instagram etc…. Hopefully there will be something here which resonates with you too.
The books I mention in the video are:
- More Than and Body - Lindsay Kite & Lexie Kite
- Women Don’t Owe You Pretty - Florence Given
- Beyond Beautiful - Anuschka Rees
The Instagram accounts I mention are:
- @alexlight_ldn
- @the_female_lead
- @bryonygordon
- @dove
- @mollyjforbes
- @danaemercer
- @meganjaynecrabbe
- @dieticiananna
- @julesvonhep
- @i_weigh
- @gracefvictory
- @lizzobeeating
And my Instagram account is:
- @megsy_recovery

[@Ella-ps1lg]

I don't watch recovery videos anymore, but will always find time for some Megsy! I too remember adjusting recipes.....lasagne with no cheese, no bechamel sauce, no mince and potato instead of pasta............basically potatoes with tomato sauce then😹 cake with no fat or no sugar, using apple puree instead......lettuce instead of bread in a sandwich...so it goes on. I think a video on that would be helpful for a lot of people - I haven't heard it talked about a lot. Something that helped me was imagining i was making it for someone else. Glad you're feeling better. Big hugs xx

[@Mel-su4uq]

Your point about body dysmorphia was so helpful! Even if you have a warped sense of your true size, having people say ‘oh you’re not that big’ or ‘you haven’t gained that much weight’ really doesn’t help at all. Thinking about myself as just me with no comparison to anyone else is amazing-thank you 💕💕💕

[@ridsmorgan2145]

I haven't even watched this yet; I'm saving it for afternoon viewing! Thank you SO much for posting, Megsy. I only follow one person on Instagram and You Tube....keep well. Xxx

[@maddiejaneec]

Megsy! I am SO GLAD I found your channel a few years ago. You have remained such an inspiration to me as I pursue my own ED recovery journey. Thank you so much for staying true to who you are and constantly sharing your story. You are doing amazing! ❤

[@abseurde]

Hope the day’s been kind to you, Meg. Glad you’re feeling better ❤️

[@thelovelymshulia]

This video was particularly helpful. It’s the unapologetic commitment that is so transformative

[@amandasmith3306]

You’re such an inspiration! I love your point about dogs and how each breed is different

[@ellenseeley4765]

I'm so glad you're on the path to feeling better, Meg! I hadn't watched any recovery videos for ages, was in denial, and then I had to go on disability with a broken toe and...well, confronting resting and being home around food - massive anxiety. So I decided to take the plunge, rest and eat, and watching these has really helped. Thanks so much for your courage, candor, insight, and inspiration. You bring so much light to our lives.

[@skilani5933]

I was soooo happy to see the video notification pop up on my phone!! 😻

[@iiii4678]

ur helping me so so much i can’t tell you how much i’m grateful

[@alexherrin8998]

you have no idea how much your videos help me out. sending love!!

[@luisestrada9137]

Thank you for taking the time to make these videos, you are helping lots of people out there. Especially me. Lots of love! 🧡🧡

[@joannatarbit391]

Meg, thank you so much for such a helpful post. I discovered your videos about a month ago, and I have gone through all of them, some more than once. I had a bad anorexia relapse a year ago and am still recovering. Your posts have pushed me forward more than anything else. You have so much courage and I think you are truly amazing. I know how unbearably tough it is. I relate to everything you say, in every video and this has also served to expose the denial that I still struggle with. You have made a huge difference to me and I am so grateful for what you are doing. I’m sorry to hear you have been unwell. Well done for listening to your body and respecting what it needs. THANK YOU for being you! Xx

[@megsyrecovery191]

So so glad the videos can help. Keep breaking the relapse behaviour patterns, I know it's so hard but it will get easier with time and repetition. You can do it xxxx

[@EmilySaysRed]

Welcome back Meg!! Lovely to see you again, and I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been feeling rough - hope you’re feeling a little better now 💖. I really appreciated this video: after years of maintaining a very low weight, I’ve finally reached out to a dietitian and started taking recovery seriously, so this was incredibly timely (as always!). For what it’s worth, I’d personally find you showing cooking without cutting bits out super helpful! If you’re ever stuck for video ideas, I’d also love to hear your perspective on stopping calorie counting (particularly with the UK introducing them to all menus soon…), or how you avoided the trap of/overcame fears of certain nutrients - my ED latched onto NHS nutritional advice, and I find eating added sugars and saturated fat really tricky now. But as always, no pressure! Thank you for being such a positive, rational force in the world of ED recovery. I truly don’t know what I’d do without your videos! You’re a bloody legend 😎 Sending lots of love your way xx

[@megsyrecovery191]

Ahhhh yes, great idea for a video! I have actually been meaning to do this, so this is a great reminder. It's such a viscous and soul destroying trap! Thanks for the idea xxxx

[@harmonyhope1709]

Lovely to see you again. Have been worried about you. Sorry to hear you've been unwell but glad you're feeling better 🥰 definitely no need to apologise for anything!

[@maitepassow8106]

You are such a light in this world. Thank you, Meg, for this video💛

[@carolynharrison3959]

So great to see you back, and really glad you are feeling better! Today I went to the gym and saw a friend who's body image I definitely compared myself to....and then to hear her say her "day off" of working out was an hour walk on a treadmill using arm weights. Made me go home and start researching stupid diets...again. But saw your video and I stopped "the DVD" playing in my head! No no no! For me....it's a trigger, then a thought, then an action, then full blown ED. Now I've learned to stop before the ED action, and do "opposite actions". Body comparison is a thief of Joy. Thank you for this message! :)

[@katespalding2134]

I saw a lady today who really looked as though she had food issues (she might not). I am 10 days out of inpatient treatment and really finding things so hard and seeing this lady set me off an even harder trajectory. I know she’s not me but ….. Im even more unable to eat my meal plan! WTF 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

[@charstar4652]

Thank you so much for posting Meg! It made my day that you answered my questions, I feel starstruck 🤩 I love your channel so much, and my family is so appreciative for people like you who help recoverers all over the world!

[@sani4554]

You have been missed Megsy, glad you are back and you are feeling better. Keep on shining your light Sweetie, what you are doing is awesome, much love xxx

[@abbyburns11]

Hi Meg. I watched this vid when you first posted it 2 weeks ago, and it helped me find words for my anorexia beliefs about eating less/losing weight while being sick. I guess I didn’t even realize I had those beliefs until you called them out. I’ve been ill with a head cold the last few days, and I have still been following my meal plan. This is the first time I’ve managed to stick to my meal plan during an illness since I started my recovery. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

[@deyaniraramos1396]

Dang...Megsy, your videos/talks are always so resent to me. I definitely understand everything your saying because it's all the stuff I go through in my head and all the stuff I struggle and have struggled with in the past ,(of course in my own ways). I do want to see others for who they are, I do want think that looking/feeling a certain way is okay and that it's not all about that. I do feel like I have progressed in my journey through recovery but it is still hard but I do know that I don't want to stop trying, to keep doing my best, to use the help when and even when I think I don't need it. I want to finally feel okay. Your talks and shares inspire me to keep pushing, they open up my mind..like..I want more out of life, to be doing what I want to do than just being obsessed with food, losing weight, comparing myself to others, my past self when I was this or that, or just all the stuff...all this brings anxiety, trauma, fear, discomfort, frustration, sadness, satisfaction, worry.....oh and numbness. However, thank you for being that inspirational and supportive young strong woman. I've always been so proud of you and happy that you are where you are. I'm always here for you as you have been for me/us. It is always lovely to hear about Alfie, Bren, Bertie, Stevie, animals, your wins, your successes, work, your deep thoughts, your hobbies, your foodie things, your personality and all the amazing good helpful books and metaphors. Amazing and motivational. Love you loads Megsy🖤😌🥺☺️🥊🥪🧀🍰🍴🌄🎥📖💜🆓🐾

[@teresaderstine5396]

You are such a blessing to so many!!! Praying for continued healing!! Thank you for your constant efforts put forth to helping others!!

[@h_2503]

You inspire me so much Meg. So much. Thank you for all your wise reminders and mantras. I'm sorry to hear you have been so unwell and do hope you fully feel better soon.

[@mimithompson7188]

Welcome back, Megsy. You have helped me so much in my own recovery. Thank you for sharing your insights with us. It's such a testament to your love and generosity. You deserve so much for everything you have given to this little community. ❤️

[@hilarybilary9145]

Glad you’re feeling better! I love the little Bertie interlude. I have a little badly dog too and he always interrupts what I am doing and makes me jump. Great video as usual Meg!

[@timtreefrog9646]

Beyoncé is my fave. I love her little attempts to meow, and her lion look. Xx

[@megsyrecovery191]

@@timtreefrog9646 Awwww bless her, her little mute meows!

[@megsyrecovery191]

And love little Bert! And grumpy Steves haha. What's your dog called?

[@hilarybilary9145]

@@megsyrecovery191 Hi name is Hank!

[@ZoeShears]

So nice to see you again sorry to hear that you are not very well. Everything went tits up for me and I did gain weight which triggered everything but I'm taking baby steps. 1st thing for me is to be consistent with my medications then I'm going to look at my eating and so on. Taking a massive step forward tomorrow and doing something drastic with my hair.

[@jas1265]

You have the most wonderful personality Megsy and your videos never fail to lift me. They always touch on things that resonate with me and renew my motivation even on days when I’m feeling incredibly hopeless. Thank you 💜

[@megsyrecovery191]

Awwwww so glad to hear they help 💙 xx

[@43greengirl]

Glad your feeling better Meg and thank you For taking the time to do them as they are so helpful x

[@ecofreak2119]

You are so amazing. Thank you for this content. I always come to your channel when I’m struggling with a lot of ED thoughts or a day is just particularly hard.

[@katespalding2134]

Thank you for taking the time and effort to make this video. It sounds as though you’ve had a miserable time and it’s taking ages for you to recover The things you said that you’d been taught in CBTE about focussing on certain body bits of people you admire’’(?) I am so guilty of scrutinising certain bits of me so one day it might be my thighs(it’s often this bit!) or my mid section etc etc. I’d look pretty strange if I was just a pair of legs etc. My legs are just one bit of me, it’s the outside bit that is visible. The inside bit is what really counts. I’m much more than a pair of legs, tummy etc! Lots of love Meg xxxxxx

[@leab559]

Love a Megsy video over a bowl of oatmeal ❤️ The leaving ingredients out of things is such a battle to overcome - as a single mum I find myself either putting all the ingredients in so the kiddos will eat it and making something different for myself, or trying to have a shared meal - but then leave out or skimp on so many ingredients none of us end up wanting to eat it - so we have kind of settled into a pattern of if (a,b,c) is on the menu, then Mum will have something else but we do have (x, y, z) together because mum can eat that (and even then it is only kind of, it's just that You don't have to leave an ingredient out, but there's something else I can leave off the plate to "allow" it). Definitely something to challenge - your dinner looked lovely, I miss sitting down to eat a shared meal that everyone enjoys. I often think of your saying that if you want to be able to do it you just have to do it. ❤️

[@megsyrecovery191]

Awwww this made me so sad to read! I totally get that feeling of wishing you could join in, and feeling like you're sitting on the side lines watching everyone else living. Exactly as you say though, if you want to be able to do it, at some point you'll have to DO IT! These behaviours and cycles don't break themselves!

[@edi165]

MEG!! Women dont owe you pretty CHANGED MY LIFE!! Please let us know how you find the book after you read it if you still want to! It is pheonomenal!

[@noemiportmann1958]

So glad to hear that you feel better!! I‘m really thankfull for this great video and I think I‘ll be rewatching it a few times for the next days 😅 Thank you so much for all the hope and strenght you give to everyone by sharing your thoughts and your story.. you make me feel less alone and your videos help me so much to keep on fighting!! Sending much love to you❤️😊

[@ebersolnaomi]

I missed your videos. Glad you’re feeling better! Thanks for the video you’re an inspiration!

[@lauraramosdelgado]

Love your videos Meg. Keep up the good work! I hope you feel better soon. The pup and kitties are so lovely, as usual.

[@sabrinasabi4177]

Oh, here you are again! Missed you 😭 a lot ☺️😗 believe me you're the butterfly 🦋 of KZbin , without you, KZbin is really horrible. Love you 💖😘 Meggy, sorry you're a bit ill, wish you a prompt recovery . You're such a sweetheart 🌹❣️

[@greernorton8419]

So glad your feeling better. You been in thoughts. Your such wonderful caring person. You have helped me so much. This video is what I needed to here today. Thanks and take care ❤️

[@soniaperez9269]

There's a film out now in the UK in cinemas called 'Our Ladies'. It's set in Edinburgh and your 'Alfie' place is in it!! :)

[@megsyrecovery191]

Ahhhhh thank you so much for sharing this with me. That's so so lovely. I love that you thought of Alfie when you saw it, that's made my day xxxx

[@hettijayne]

Always look forward & enjoy your videos Meg ❤️🥰your so heart warming & just comforting to watch.

[@meganhorsham]

So lovely to see you back! Glad you are feeling better x

[@lisakulak3495]

I’m so glad you are better !!! I’m praying it wasn’t covid poor dear but stay well and healthy ! We love you !!

[@sherriw7673]

Thanks for this...I so appreciate your thoughts. Your thoughts often mirror my own - I'm not alone. 💗

[@supermleczko]

Lots of love ❤️❤️ Thank You for this video 🥰

[@angelaspielbusch1237]

This is so helpful! Thank you so much I truly wish I had your therapist here in Gardner Kansas USA. You really are such a sweet person to share so much of yourself!

[@Jess-ky9tf]

Hello to Gardner from Lawrence! I agree. Her therapist always seems to have such insightful suggestions.

[@angelaspielbusch1237]

Hello 👋 Jess. May I ask, have you had any luck finding therapy using CBT-e?

[@eleonoreconstant]

It's so nice to hear from you again! Glad you're on the mend! I dont think i ever told you this but I love how you are not always wearing make up (I personally don't) or how you dont try to only show yourself at your best (although you are awesome at any moment no matter whether you look your best or not ;) ). I also wanted to know how you figured out what was your healthy weight/size (I personally no longer weigh myself that's why I added size). I think you got sick when you were young, like I did, so we don't know what are bodies are supposed to look like at their normal size/weight. Not sure if you did a video on this but it would be interesting to know how and if you figured it out for yourself.

[@alyssacascos8665]

Thank you for this video! It was so helpful with all of the book recs and Instagram accounts! ❤❤❤

[@sarahdoyle1316]

Haha! You set my Alexa off on timer! 😛Thanks for another great video, you’re such a help and inspiration ♥️ Glad you’re feeling better xx

[@megsyrecovery191]

Hahahaha that's so funny! I set mine off when I was editing the video too haha xx

[@pennymcdonald538]

Always excited to see a new video from you. Thanks so much! Hope you continue to feel better every day. The Nightingale is really good. Hope you can read it soon!

[@megsyrecovery191]

Ahhhh I'll have to persevere! 😘

[@BloomingLisa]

Ps. Sorry to hear you’ve been poorly but glad you’re feeling a bit better! 🌷

[@ewao7912]

So many smart and straight to the point words, thanks a million! 😊👍😍

[@megsyrecovery191]

Aww thanks xxx

[@sunflower.3040]

thank you so much meg for being you 🥺🥺

[@jags-gb4dm]

So lovely to see you Megs😊 I hope it hasnt been anything too serious, that has been making you so poorly. Take care 💖

[@ags2121ze]

You're back!!! I missed you soooo much

[@radiee6667]

you are amazing.. iam so glad to found your channel, you helped me so much with your videos lately.. do you think you are able to speak about how u started your recovery? bc I think that could help so many people which want to start recovery and are confused where to start. hope u have an amazing day. :)

[@makyd6275]

Do u have a recipe for the cake? It looks lit!! And I love banana in cakes!♥

[@mariadavies7669]

Hope you are feeling better now I'm sick with covid at the moment my hubby and son just got better from it.i can 100% relate to not feeling i should eat when sick but we know that is ed so we have just ordered in chicken burger and ice cream 🥰🥰

[@megsyrecovery191]

Good for you! I actually had my first covid vaccine last week and touch wood haven't had it (& I did a LOT of tests over the summer). I hope you're OK and you get better quickly like you son and hubby. Take care and get lots of rest xxx

[@mariadavies7669]

@@megsyrecovery191 thankyou so much hun glad you had you're 1st vaccine and are staying safe yes i am resting as much as i can hopefully won't last to long.sending hugs take care xx

[@katespalding2134]

I’m doing some group therapy called compassion focussed therapy however I cant focus on the subject because I spend the hour comparing everything about them with me. Have you got any tips More importantly are you guys all ok? Xxxxx❤

[@BloomingLisa]

So good to see you! Not sure why but you looked so much more like your sister in this video (speaking of comparison 😂) Love these more recent videos as you dismantle and unpack diet culture, body diversity, etc. Really helpful. Do you think recovery goes through ‘healing phases’? Like your body starts to heal, then your brain starts noticeably rewiring, then later in recovery you start to dismantle/question your own beliefs/weight stigma/fatphobia etc?

[@megsyrecovery191]

El, YES!! I haven't heard it articulated like this but definitely I feel myself going through new phases of healing (even things like emotional coping during difficult times). Also I still notice how the more and more I repeat recovery/healthy eating behaviours the more natural and automatic they become. It's like the undoing of all the years of ingraining the anorexia. It's amazing! Love how you've phrased it xxx

[@BloomingLisa]

@@megsyrecovery191 it’s actually so beautiful watching you unfold, transform, grow and bloom over the progression of your video series. We can actually witness the changing thought processes, the shift in perception and the personal development. Thanks for sharing your journey. It’s so inspiring for someone like myself who has also struggled with an ED for most of my life. Things feel so hopeless sometimes but stories like yours are proof that with hard work and determination over time we can pursue a better life and actually detach from our eating disorder thoughts and habits. I know that I still have a long way to go and I’m so proud of your progress and the person you’re becoming. Thanks again. Much love from Australia Xxx

[@BloomingLisa]

Sorry if that was all a bit gushy and sentimental- that’s not my usual style… but I’m just wanted to express my gratitude and also my proud-ness 😜💗

[@atc35012]

I struggled with anorexia from the time I was about 14 years old until I was in my early 30's. I am now almost 37 and my hands and feet have grown. I have had to buy new shoes often because I grow out of all my shoes. This is weird.

[@sassinsteadofclass1550]

Please do a video on the whole following recipe thing!! I still find it so hard to follow a recipe without cutting out or substituting anything.

[@megsyrecovery191]

Will do!

[@danielazeller4805]

I was just wondering since you mention your weight If you are weighing yourself or if as part of your recovery you want to stop weighing yourself all together? Or it’s something that doesn’t trigger you? Thanks!!! 🥰

[@eilydiaz710]

Can you share the recipie of nana loaf looks awesome

[@SamSam-cg5up]

Bertie scares me 😂😂😂😂😂omg

[@anaarh4390]

So true💯

[@emilyl1260]

Been struggling with comparison.. Also been making banana cake.. Do you let your body fluctuate with weight naturally now or is there still an element of control? X

[@megsyrecovery191]

I completely let it fluctuate naturally, however I have had to exercise 'control' when I've lost my appetite in the last 18 months through grief to protect myself and make sure I didn't accidentally relapse. Something I've learnt from past relapses and I feel so strong against now. But yeh otherwise I don't feel I need to control my food or body, I kind of feel at peace with it xxx

[@christinang9150]

Hey everyone! was just wondering if anyone knows if the ed thoughts ever do go away? or will it still be there even after recovery?

[@petitehippie7064]

It can take a while, but they do go away, if you continue eating unrestricted. Good luck!

[@mariebeach5864]

Your hair 😍😍so long now xxx

[@joannawarias6874]

❤❤❤

[@brooklynbeyer2494]

This video made me think, woah what if societal body standards are just created to make money. Like when it was in to be really thin, that would sell more diet products. Now that it’s in to be have a big butt and small waist, it sells things like waist trainers and plastic surgery.

[@megsyrecovery191]

Yessss you're so right!!!

[@ags2121ze]

Megsy, do you ever get worried about touching things that are food-related and then not washing your hands? (not COVID-related). Or worry that other people's food is on things that you touch? Do you worry that the calories would transfer and then it's like it's extra food? By the way I hope that this doesn't make things worse for you and think that you should be worried about it as it's not normal and I'm trying not to worry about it myself but not sure if you ever had that fear.

[@megsyrecovery191]

Don't worry this would in no way make things worse for me, because this isn't even slightly a worry I have. Largely because I don't care. So what if I got extra calories on what I ate? That would be fine. If Bren was eating something I'd happily take a bite, so I wouldn't worry about any crumbs or calorie transfer. I think probably because I don't have tight control over my food or calorie intake, and with that comes the flexibility of that "so what" attitude. I wouldn't care if I ate a piece of something and some one said it had 400 calories, and then they said oh no wait actually it has 800 calories. It literally wouldn't matter to me, because I have no running total, limit, boundaries or rules. So it strikes me that letting go of calorie/food control might help with this fear.... And I sometimes think it's better to think about the fear actually happening (so what?!) than the reassurance of "don't worry calories can't transfer". Because I'm sure they can't, but equally so tricking what if they did. Life carries on, my body would be fine, there's more important things than food, a few extra calories are a drop in the ocean of what I eat in a day etc etc..... I don't know if this is helpful or not. I have heard other people have this fear, but not from some one who has recovered and let go of restriction and tight food control xxxxx

[@ags2121ze]

@@megsyrecovery191 Megsy, thank you so very much for that thoughtful reply. I really do appreciate it and I agree with you that not caring is most likely the better option than trying to convince my brain that it's not possible/likely/normal.

[@ags2121ze]

@@megsyrecovery191 Was it ever a worry though?

[@carlymcneil7507]

I do actually worry about this so you’re not alone 😞. Thank you for asking and thank you Meg for your reply!

[@ags2121ze]

@@carlymcneil7507 Carly, do you also worry about touching things in general for fear that there's food on it? Like it somehow accumulates on you if you do?

[@brooklynbeyer2494]

Hey Meg. I know you still mention that you know your weight. How often do you weigh yourself? Do you still have doctor weigh ins, or you do it on your own?

[@megsyrecovery191]

Yeh doctor weigh ins with my psychologist, either every 2 weeks or every week, depending when I go. I don't own scales myself xx

[@brooklynbeyer2494]

@@megsyrecovery191 Ah. So in terms of treatment, you see your psychologist regularly and do you still see a dietitian? Or not anymore since you are further along in your recovery? Thanks for introducing me to the MEEDA podcast by the way!

[@laurencelussierlocas]

What illness did you have ? )-:

[@ababy6074]

But why do you actually know you gained weight while ill anyway? Do you still weigh yourself at the moment?