Boomers And Gen X Parents Don't Care About Their Kids Going No Contact With Them - Must Watch

[@MonicaMontgomery_]

I told my Father I didn't want a Relationship with him because he didn't respect me. He laughed and said "Why would I have to respect you, you're my Daughter, you're not my Dad". I haven't spoken to him since.

[@cosmosadorabilis7677]

Good for you babe. He sounds like my parents, just terrible.

[@Setsunako6587]

I know my mom heard Sade say "love is stronger than pride," yet here we are 🙄

[@arc8584]

My boomer dad said the same thing about being kind, nice, and considerate. "I dont have to be nice to you, you're family."

[@SpookieELLE]

Do we have the same dad?? Mine is a boomer exminister .. I finally confronted him about my issues with him. And straight texted . "respect me." But after I spoke my truth. I cut him off..

[@azariahbenisrael600]

Accountable for what?

[@FreedomInFinances]

Them not caring is the reason for no contact in the first place. Par for the course.

[@Bloombaby99]

Thank you.

[@Michadoo]

Exactly

[@l.austin2371]

Why care if you can't control it?No sense and using all that energy on an adult who made a decision not to talk to you

[@SoIAM-sj3bb]

They care. As it takes a lot of energy, time and money to raise you in the first place. Otherwise if they didn't care you would not have grown up in the first place. It not that they don't care, it is just eh economy been shitty and they could not give you the life they wish they could have given you. They already feel slapped around by the economy you grew up in. They can't be sh*t on anymore in life they they already have been. you doing more of the same just proves to them you are not worth the time and energy anymore. You are adults. take care of yourself. In the meantime go ahead. go no contact. A pet dog makes better company then you in the first place anymore. And when your elderly parents die they can gift their will to that dogs care for someone else to enjoy , and the money left given to an animal shelter , since that is were their money can make a positive difference in the first place, besides and ungrateful adult child.

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

​@@SoIAM-sj3bbmy dad didn't care. I was an afterthought to him my entire life.

[@HashiraTengen]

People need to prepared to MOURN their parents when they go no contact. If you are doing it because you are waiting for them to FEEL/DO something you are doing it for the wrong reasons.

[@jayb3473]

I agree, if your parent really abused you are running to be safe and you really don’t want them to contact you. The other people need to learn how to set boundaries and have tough conversations and seek therapy but no contact is not the solution. Esp if you want your parent to contact you.

[@Carpathianpixie]

Yeah, I realised that almost a year ago but I haven't started the mourning process yet because right now, therapy is the only thing keeping me on this planet. I don't have time to worry about my mother right now. Not until I'm at least stable.

[@Hayotowin]

But going "no contact" just until your parents "meet your demands" is just emotional manipulation used to get what you want. Nothing more than a temper tantrum. "Agree with my demands or I'll hurt you." Helicopters should have let their kids raise themselves.

[@becomingwz]

Im currently mourning and it is brutal. 💔 I had an idea Id experience some pain but not to this extent.

[@evilbarbie2160]

Definitely. If you are expecting genx to come running when its no contact... you may die waiting. Try writing us a letter in cursive in a constructive way, have a therapist help edit the thing so it's going to repair the relationship instead of destroying it. Apples and oranges don't speak the same language, so get a referee from the parents generation. You don't understand how much repressed anger and abuse some of us are carrying from our parents, and entitlement from a child thats disrespectful is a no go. We don't hate you, but we won't enable or be around people that whine.

[@awg7068]

I'm a GenX parent, and I always heard that we were 'helicopter parents'. I agree with going no-contact with people who hurt you and will likely never stop.

[@downbad2874]

My thing is if they hurt you if you want no contact with them why are you expecting them to Care?

[@crazycatdragon]

@@downbad2874 because you still have hope that they could still be a good parent. It’s not like you expect the past to be better but it’s an acknowledgment of the things that were done wrong and an apology and hope for the future.

[@TheJourneyofGeminiandNoble]

​@@downbad2874I don't understand your response.

[@kevinc8955]

@@crazycatdragonThey’re a good parent because you’re not in jail, not dead, not homeless, and made it to adulthood. They did their job.

[@crazycatdragon]

@@kevinc8955 actually did become homeless and now he’s dead because he couldn’t listen to me

[@jayelee7112]

How are you going to choose to go no contact with your parents and then blame them for not begging you to contact them.

[@hotmessmandy7]

If you go no contact don't be upset when they repect your boundary. No contact is self defense not punishment.

[@childfreechick2980]

This. It's for your own peace and protection. Not to make the other person mad.

[@oceanbella]

I definitely agree, it's just deep down inside they still want their parents to love them and want the relationship 😢

[@1.618Golden]

@@oceanbella I think you are right. But going no contact won't fix that. Instead, I think a conversation needs to be had. Or just let the past go if the parent is selfish and won't admit to any wrongdoing. All parents make mistakes. If you have kids, you will also make mistakes. You may not make the same mistakes your mom or dad did. You will however make your own unique mistakes. That is a fact. Just be a better parent/person than your parents were.

[@lisaratley4858]

That one young woman seemed to go no contact as a manipulation tactic.

[@jozey555]

pls s t f u. you don’t get to tell people how they should feel / cope with the emotions of being abandoned by a parent

[@winning3329]

My boomer narcissist mother could care less about me going no contact because she really thinks my narcissist golden child sister is going to take care of her in her old age. She never loved me and only had me for her to get government benefits

[@pansybo]

Yooo!!! My foster mom says that's the only reason my mom took me back

[@coleycole5344]

We love you angel. God bless.

[@Bloombaby99]

My mother was a boomer and a narcissist. When she passed, I shed no tears. When she visited me in my dreams, I turned and walked away from her without a word. In death and in life, when I say no contact, I mean it. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Know that you're not alone and find purpose for your life and enjoy it.

[@Eowynd]

I'm very sorry for you to having going through all that. I really hope you are better now and surrounded with loving people

[@Oohshtmfgtdmn]

Or when you have a mom that hates her daughters and adores her sons..well mom hope your son is prepared to take care of you full time ..yep him and your new daughter (his girlfriend) 👋

[@amydecker6207]

"I'm pregnant. I changed my phone number. I blocked my parents. Why won't they call me???" 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Child, you got exactly what you actively worked for.

[@BlackIce675]

But if your car ,up and left you'd go looking for that. Maybe you need it more than your children. 🤷‍♂️

[@x0xTHLover4Lifex0x]

What is the point of going 'no-contact' and wanting the person to be bothered or phased? If you dont want them to contact you and you dont contact them then what are they supposed to do? Waste their life waiting for you to talk to them? Life goes on. Either your cutting people off to bring yourself peace or youre cutting people off to be spiteful and vindictive.

[@Bloombaby99]

You missed the important part: If these parents really cared about their kids, this wouldn't even be a topic of discussion to begin with. If my child says I hurt them or I was wrong as a parent, I would want to correct that and make things right but then again, that would require a person to be a decent human being to begin with. For every action, there is a reaction.

[@Mlookad]

You took the words right out of my mouth.❤

[@tessahiggins8142]

I'm no contact. If they tried to contact me again honestly there would probably be a restraining order.

[@nefbee1743]

@@Bloombaby99 they can really care and im sure plenty of parents try, its always two sides to a story so again if the parent tried and the kid is still unhappy then it is what it is. They arent horrible people for not chasing you and kissing your behind. You are an adult now.

[@kevinc8955]

@@Bloombaby99Life is short, buddy. If I had kids and they cut me off, I’d move on pretty quickly. Your job is to get them to adulthood to where they can stand on their own two feet. Parents aren’t there to be your besties for life. You seem to misunderstand the assignment.

[@alexiakelley4245]

To the lady saying “Y’all are just wrong y’all can be wrong like parents can be wrong”, the issue is that we’re expected to treat parents as if they are perfect and can do no wrong. And when they are wrong we’re expected to not bring it up out of respect for our elders.

[@ca6248]

Nailed it.

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

Yes and that's one of the biggest problems because there's no way to work out problems without communicating.

[@japalmer2]

Truth!

[@seanjean9677]

This!

[@MT-yx5cu]

I'm a young GenX /older Millennial. Don't threaten us with a good time😂. We will SURELY respect your wishes.

[@seattleflea]

If you are going no contact to influence someone else’s behavior, THAT is wrong of you. No contact means no contact. You don’t care about how others react. The no contact described here sounds like a temper tantrum. I am a GenXer who went no contact with my father 20 years ago. He is dead to me. I don’t care what he thinks or how he reacts to my NC. If you had unrealistic expectations of going NC, that’s on you. The other GenX responses (therapist response) are spot on. Remember, each generation causes trauma to the next generation even if they are doing the best they can. When this generation’s children come to YOU about the trauma YOU inflicted on your children, you will understand. No contact means that person is dead to you. I am sorry people are missing the assignment.

[@awg7068]

GenXer that went no contact with my father over 20 years ago here! Moved clear across the country, never looked back even once.

[@user-dl9nr4eo5j]

I completely agree. No contact means no contact and being upset they don’t reach out is a personal issue one needs to work through.

[@sophiaandre139]

Exactly!

[@catwalkster]

Same. Genx went no contact with family too. Good riddance to bad rubbish

[@lacklandcrystal]

Bingo. - Millennial here.

[@shanellem6310]

My Mother is a boomer and I am a Gen X. My parents never married and I was raised by my single parent Mother. She was highly abusive towards me for as long as I can remember. She made it very clear that she did not value girls, she attempted to kill me multiple times, and she even told me more than once that she wished that I had never been born. I wasn't a bad child so I tried to fix our relationship many times. She knew what she was doing and had no remorse at all. She would just say that there is no handbook to raising kids and that a leopard never changes its spots. She would also say that I would understand when I had my own kids. I have my own kids now- 3 of them. I still don't understand. I would NEVER do to my kids what she did to me. NEVER. I went no contact with her 16 years ago. My son was 1yrs old. She has no relationship with any of my kids. They know of her and refer to her as Gigi; but, they have no contact with her. I refuse to allow her to influence them with her toxicity. 2 years ago, I learned about narcissism and recognized her as a covert narc. Going no contact was one of the best decisions I could make. I struggle a single parent due to lack of familial support; but, my life is still more peaceful without her in it. My sister tolerates her, and when she rages, just gives her the silent treatment. Then, one of them will call and then they just pick up from where they left off. My Brother also tolerates her; but, has limited contact with her. My siblings know that I got the worst of her attention. I was the scapegoat. So, they understand why I refuse contact with her. We have all decided to put her in a home when the time comes. We all have kids and don't want to live with her again.

[@melizzamelizza]

Sounds like my life but I'm an only child.

[@SpookieELLE]

This horrible stuff all resonates with me. I sometimes get weak and try to connect occasionally. But she reminds me why I don't talk to her. My adult kids hate her . My son is moving and going no contact with her as well.

[@Bloombaby99]

Basically me and my mom. And people wonder why I shed no tears when she died.

[@myagray4093]

Pretty much my same story with my boomer mom

[@juneelle370]

You might really enjoy Jay Reid, who illuminates the scapegoat dynamic really well

[@_Renee2]

Chile, I get a panic attack when I receive an email from my mother or a phone call from her family. I am not sitting around wondering if, when, or why she isn’t contacting me. For those who are questioning y’all may need to seek therapy. I have to add, that going no contact is also followed by grief and that grief is soul-crushing.

[@marissa._]

Respectfully, if you get a panic attack every time your mom emails you or calls you, why not block her phone number and emails from coming? That way when/if she does, you won't know or get notified about it and you'll have peace of mind. I know I did when I went no-contact with the sperm donor!

[@uriahreed9363]

Baby girl u ALSO need therapy if ur having panic attacks when ur mother contacts you try blocking her even if she makes new emails/calls cause having a panic attack from just ur mother contacting me u is not normal

[@LosAngelesLaura]

The grief from going not contact is heartbreaking and yes, if we could avoid it, WE WOULD HAVE! ❤

[@Michadoo]

You have to make the healthiest choice for yourself ❤️‍🩹

[@_Renee2]

@@marissa._ My mother is blocked but if you have an iPhone a blocked contact can still send you an email. It will go into your spam folder. When you clean out your spam folder, you notice it.

[@twiggalloway1]

If you go no contact and your parent(s) don’t reach out….. ain’t that the point? Or do they want the parents to beg to be back in their life? I don’t get it

[@sweariefaerie9621]

We can't help but keep hoping our parents actually do care about and love us, and that somehow all the hurtful things they did had a justifiable reason behind it. The wounded inner child is always trying to be loved and supported.

[@twiggalloway1]

@@sweariefaerie9621 that makes sense. I guess when I went no contact with my dad I was absolutely done and didn’t want him to try to get in touch with me. I didn’t see if from your angle

[@isabellacarter2863]

@@sweariefaerie9621 🤣😂millennials nonsense

[@DivineRenegadeDeanna]

​​@@sweariefaerie9621people can only love others to the same capacity that they love themselves. Abusive addicts can only love though abuse & addiction because that's how they love themselves. Demanding they love others differently than they love themselves is an intentional set-up for failure. If you want them to change how they love you, they must FIRST learn to love themselves differently. They do love us, exactly the same way they love themselves. So their love is being denied, minimized & ridiculed by you as "bad love/hate", but in their heart, your demands upon their "self-love/external love" are perceived as "disrespectful", "ungrateful ", "hateful " & "demanding" and they feel rejected. So going NC merely reinforces their existing perspective & "proved themselves right" about the offspring. Its more division to keep this BS world spinning & flinging BS on everything & everyone. When we learn to love & respect ourselves, we become the example. When we help others do the same, we become world changers. Petty is as petty does; don't be petty about love.

[@haileys5371]

Hopefully people are going no contact for their own mental health and not because they're trying to get a reaction. Also boomers tend to suppress feelings.

[@darcy5761]

I've been low to no contact with my family for years. So much more peaceful.

[@rootelation486]

They are mostly going no contact for the reaction....because social media told them to....and that is the reason genx and boomers don't care. We grew up thinking for ourselves not making decisions because people on social who we never met told us to. Social is not real....most of the crap on social is posted for likes and subscribers with no real content. Unfortunately the younger generations believe everything they see and hear on social

[@kevinc8955]

@@darcy5761Same. I doubt my mom and dad care and TBH it’s what you’re supposed to do. Adults make their own families. And their job as parents was to get all their kids to adulthood. Mission accomplished. It’s just not a big deal if we’re not “besties”.

[@silververnallbells191]

@@kevinc8955 It is a big deal that's why I feel sorry for y'all cuz y'all don't understand or have that love.

[@corlenajames1381]

​@@silververnallbells191​No, it's not that big a deal, tho😂 You have to realize quite a few Gen Xers (and Boomers) started 'raising' kids before they even became parents, so now they feel like they need to live their lives for themselves for once. I think the issue comes in navigating the transition between being & having an active parent to a child vs learning to approach each other as adults. Seems to be issues on both sides with that.

[@howcanyoudothistome1]

It’s the going no contact and getting upset when they receive no contact for me…

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

Relationships are sometimes complicated and complex. I remember becoming upset with my dad when he started to not send cards on birthdays and Christmas even though he wasn't safe to ever stop being no contact with him. It's because the actions of stopping sending cards indicated him doing so was for manipulative reasons.

[@cocoapeach]

Gen Xers are not expecting their kids to take care of them (I am childless so I already know not to expect that). I don’t know why you all keep expressing this warning. We’ve lived our whole lives not being taken care of lol! If anything, we plan to Golden Girls into the sunset with our besties.

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

Exactly! 😄

[@kevinc8955]

Yep. Same, no kids. And if I had kids like these entitled little brats I would assume they would still be hitting me up for money in their 50s.

[@TheMiss600]

The younger generations as a whole are the least likely to care for anyone else, which is one reason why the birthrate is dropping globally. Some of them are probably going no contact early to avoid having to care for aging parents😂

[@BlackIce675]

That's because Gen X didn't have anything to give their children . Boomers did and still give nothing 🤷‍♂️ 🤷‍♀️

[@pinkinthecity222]

Gen X is a large range of years, yet many of you think it only applies to people born between 1977 and 1980. My parents are in the oldest batch of Gen X (born in the mid 60s) and they absolutely expect me to take care of them in old age. No shade, you don’t have kids so how would you know what Gen X parents expect?

[@1Skorpia]

It makes zero sense to cut off my parents and then hop on social media crying like a kid theyre " not bothered" . What kind of stupidity is that . That girl needs therapy.

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

It is the kind of childish mind games.

[@ca6248]

But don't you think as a parent, if your child goes no contact with you, that you should try to reach out and repair that relationship? If you just throw your hands in the air and say, "Oh well!" then I question how much you really care about your child and children. I understand respecting boundaries, but it seems like the parents she was talking about are the ones that aren't phased by losing their children because their ego and pride means more to them than the actual relationship. That's the issue here. Because as a mother, I'd be devastated and do anything I could to fix things with my child if they felt like I had hurt them and they needed to go no contact. But I recognize that I'm the exception and not the rule. Also, if I'm being frank there are way too many boomers and Gen X adults that should have never been parents. But that's another conversation that y'all aren't ready to hear.

[@dominiquedevereux7205]

​@ca6248 EXACTLY. Just cuz some of these adult children that are going "no contact" are mad/hurt that their parents aren't reaching out to them & trying to salvage the relationship doesn't mean they were trying to emotionally manipulate their parents & they're realizing it failed --- it means they're REALLY coming to the realization that they're parents absolutely NEVER cared for them if their parents are able to let them go without a fight! These parents aren't letting their children go so easily cuz they're respecting their children's boundaries --- they're casting them to the "Wayside" cuz they NEVER had any love for their children & they're relieved their children are the 1s who ended the relationship so they can look like the victims who were shunned when they run & tell their friends & family how their ungrateful brat ghosted them. And let's be honest . . . narcissists go out-of-their-way to trample over people's boundaries. So to say these parents are just "respecting" their children's wishes by not reaching out to their children & mend their relationship with them is 🐃 💩! My covert, malignant narcissist mother STILL won't even respect my request for her to knock on my bedroom door b4 entering & I'm in my 40s! But if I were to go "no contact" with her right now, I KNOW she wouldn't reach out to me, & it CERTAINLY wouldn't mean she had suddenly developed a newfound respect for honoring my wishes --- it'd simply mean she doesn't give a damn about losing me & NEVER did. If someone doesn't respect you in the little things & has made a habit out of doing so, they certainly aren't gonna respect you in regard to your major wishes. Especially not overnight.

[@queenofbeinghungryaf1025]

Is it stupidity to want your parent to show they care about your absence ? I might say something shocking but could it be that they hoped that some of the children going no contact might hope to finally get their parents to show some emotions and love for them. It's not that crazy that they want their parents' love. But the parents usually respond in the same callous way you did. It's stupidity to want your parents to care about you after they have persistantly drained you emotionally,spirtually and psychologically.🤔

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

@@ca6248 We're only getting one side of the story. How do we know the parents haven't reached out and when they get rejected, respected the child's boundaries? I don't expect any one of these people to admit that they may hold some blame in the NC.

[@txspacemom765]

Hi, Gen X'er who went no contact with my boomer parents. I had a LOT of generational trauma to change and I did it through my parenting, therapy and choices. I am sure I screwed up my kiddo somewhere BUT I own that and if my son had or has an issue, we would be communicating without suffocating.

[@helgaioannidis9365]

As a gen X parent I would definitely be extremely sad if my kids went no contact. I'd also respect their choice and not contact them. So how would they know if I care or not if we're no contact???

[@shauntikayvette]

Do not throw a tantrum on your parent, then gaslight them to say they didn’t want you because they aren’t giving the desired response to your bad behavior 🛑🤚🏾 🤦🏾‍♀️. They didn’t cut you off, they respected the space you requested

[@terezahoward4008]

Praise 🙏🙌✋🖐️👏

[@Olivia_Rae17]

Exactly

[@turquesa_8056]

I also wanted to add I think the issue here is really about egos. Millennials thought they could hurt their GenX parents by going no contact and wanted to stick it to them but it backfired. In reality most of us raised ourselves as kids anyway so we don't have an issue with it.

[@silververnallbells191]

Millenials are too old to be the children of Gen X. Gen X would be your older siblings unless there was a teen Mom which blossomed w/Millenials more than Gen X.

[@Apricot90]

It doesn't backfire at all. I am doing really good in life financially and mentally and it gets better with every year. But THEY get ass hurt now that they get older and more lonely.

[@mandiibloomfield1783]

@@silververnallbells191 I’m a Gen x parent of a millennial. Most of my friends are Gen x with millennial kids too.

[@denisedevoto5703]

​@@silververnallbells191not true, both my sister and I are Gen X with millennial kids. We are early Gen X, the kids were born in the early 90s.

[@Anon06428]

@@silververnallbells191uh no, youngest millenial is age 28..

[@OhNoSweetie...]

I'm Gen X, sweetie and I'm getting on in years. I don't have time for ALL your little feelings. I raised myself, my kids AND grandkids. I'm TIRED! BUH-bye!

[@autobotdiva9268]

my kid told me i trigger him but every week his bank account in overdraft......ohhh okkk. i guess the bank overdrdraft fees dont trigger at all. FOH!

[@cindita2023]

The therapist is right. There are many sides to the story, and then there's the truth.

[@Goddess_Infinity]

So I’m suppose to continue to beg a 55 year old woman to love me ? After saying she could never have love for a woman . I’m 32 , I’m cried and beg for her love ,even beg her to move in with me but she rather live with my brother , who beats her , and disrespect her and she pays all the bills but I’m suppose to continue to to fight for a mothers love that she’s incapable of giving ?but yet she wants me to care for care when she retires? Whatttttttt ???

[@cosmosadorabilis7677]

Please, stop begging for he love, you're only feeding her ego. I absolutely know where you come from, I tried and tried, and it further ruined my life, and all my relationships because all I knew was begging. My mother hates women, and she will never love me. I struggled with this, (and still do sometimes) until I finally accepted it. That makes me angry, but it's still better that having her around me. Please don't take care of her when she's old, you're not a trash bag or a tool to be used. ❤

[@X-fd9yp]

They are unfazed until they desperate enough and start seeking help because they need it.

[@dangermauz754]

Nah, there's a nearby senior home. Many Gen X still have their own house or apartment. Adult children wouldn't be needed in this economy.

[@verticesmith661]

As a gen x, I except this for you. If no contact is your desire, then it shall be granted. Even at my worst moment, there is a good chance I won't contact you. I think a lot of gen x parents will agree. Most of us have our best friends as our person anyway.

[@Laquia]

​@@dangermauz754Yet the government wants Millennials and Gen Z to have children because of the low birthrate in the country. Teachers are quitting left and right so there won't be many teachers in the next few years educating children that won't exist because we can't afford it so we won't feel guilty for BBs and GenXs dying in old age.

[@downbad2874]

It’s giving y’all are going old contact to manipulate people because if you were going no contact because someone did something to you or is doing something to you that you do not like why are you expecting them to reach out even your comment? Why would you think they will reach out to you for help, since tells me they wouldn’t even tell you they need help. You’re just hoping that they didn’t such a desperate place that they need you so you could be like ha ha.

[@someoneelse3790]

You can believe that if you choose, but people adapt and there are always options for " help" ..

[@steviesosa5617]

I agree with the male Therapist. Some of these people are spoiled brats trying to "punish" their parents. It's an adult tantrum that doesn't warrant their attention. I'm 27 and don't understand the adults who move back home, for FREE, and complain about their parents rules. Of course your parents don't want you being intimate with someone else in their home. Of course your parents don't want to clean and cook for you when they're semi-retired. Of course your retired parents don't want to be full-time nannies for your children for free. There is a lack of gratitude and respect with some of the people going no contact with their parents. It's ridiculous to go no contact and be upset when they honor your request.

[@lindamwakugu542]

These kids need to be fine with their decision, and stop being triggered by the consequences they didn't think about before making that decision to go no contact. Them wanting the parents to keep trying to reach out or feel bad and be all bothered is actually very manipulative and narcissistic if you really think about it. 🤔

[@starlingswallow]

I went no contact with my parents for 6 months because my traditional boomer dad crossed my personal boundaries 3 times, each time me stating the boundary: again. The NC ended up being more for me than trying to control what they do or how they treat me. It was my time to CUT the apron strings and practice radical acceptance (look up Jerry Wise) to accept my parents and siblings for who they are and break the familial fantasy I'd concocted in my own mind in order to survive my childhood and young adulthood. I was neglected as a kid and it totally f-Ed me up. No guidance, no support, no compliments, no help with entering into adulthood. Nada. I was served up as fodder for an abusive husband and stayed for 14 years. My whole family saw me suffering but NOT ONE of them told me to leave. Yes, I was an adult, but growing up in church I was taught "divorce is a sin" and I had no voice, no autonomy, no boundaries, no practice saying NO. Thanks mom & pop. My whole family was fine with me running around, taking polls on what I should or shouldn't do within life so they _knew_ I couldn't make decisions for myself. I didn't know HOW. And I didn't trust myself. I WAS TAUGHT not to trust myself. I state an opinion, someone corrects me or calls my pov stupid, or get laughed at. So many things that molded me into what I was; a yes-saying-doormat. When I finally left the abusive ex, I was actually given FLACK for it!!!! By both parents! And none of my family was supportive emotionally. Not one. I honestly don't think they know HOW to be supportive. My whole family is not emotionally intelligent. It's sweep-everything-under-the-rug town up in there! 😂 Not me. After making my first single decision for MY life, leaving abuse, I've been on the road to recovery. Recovering my identity, my self love, my voice, my opinions, my emotions, my mental well-being, etc. it's hard but it's MINE! I'm now remarried to an amazing man and he sees clearly the dynamic of my family. We love them where they are at but keep our distance. I moved away and we married and I'm finally at peace. ❤❤❤❤

[@starlingswallow]

And the whole 6 months I was NC with my parents, not once did I hear from 2 of my 3 brothers. Not once did they call me and ask- what happened?? Or get my side. 🤦🏻‍♀️😞

[@abiola33]

OP, I am so glad to read that you escaped that abusive past life. And that you have a better life now. 🙏🏾💙

[@LosAngelesLaura]

❤❤❤❤ I’m so happy for you! I love Jerry Wise!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@sandysmith71]

Well said

[@corlenajames1381]

​@@starlingswallowI can relate to this. I'm so happy for you & proud of you for reclaiming your life & your peace❤💖

[@GorgeousGoddessTalks]

I have been no contact with my mother and now my younger sister is also. She refuses to acknowledge any wrong and to go to therapy. It is what it is.

[@CNae03]

Hmmm I've been no contact with my narcissist mother for 10 yrs now . But my sister still has contact , and has yet to acknowledge the abuse our mother inflicted and oddly doesn't understand why I won't make peace , well my sister has just recently gone no contact with me also . Golden child vs me scapegoat. My mother still manipulates her n it kills me inside 😣 that she's blinded

[@GorgeousGoddessTalks]

@@CNae03 that’s kind of the same for me. Also, I feel like I’m the scapegoat, but my sister the golden child has come to senses and I’m happy that I’m not alone in this for my oldest sister. That’s a work in progress.

[@CNae03]

@@GorgeousGoddessTalks yeah , were in a weird place bc I know that I can't just tell her our mother is truly a narcissist, she has to come to that realization on her own , if I tell her , then it's like I'm attacking mom . So Ive just been praying about it and being patient hoping she will come to her senses . It breaks my heart bc my mother caused division so early on in our life and now we're adults and we're so strained. All I can do is hope one day I will have my baby sis back to love and enjoy life with 😕😞

[@CNae03]

@@GorgeousGoddessTalks I'm glad some progress is being made , it will definitely take patience, Im wishing you and your family the best girl ❤️

[@GorgeousGoddessTalks]

@@CNae03 my mom did the exact same thing triangulating all of our relationships whenever she would get mad at one of us. It’s super sad, but when my younger sister finally came around, it was like a weightlifting off my shoulders because I wasn’t alone. I wish the best for you and your family also and I hope your sister and my sister come around very soon.🩷🩷

[@indrinita]

as a younger GenXer (Xennial) with Boomer parents, my parents never cared if I was no/low contact with them or not. I am 100% sure that they didn't really want kids, but only had them out of societal expectations.

[@Bloombaby99]

As is the case for most parents; it's either societal expectations or refusal to be sexually responsible.

[@Michadoo]

​@Bloombaby99 most Boomer and older gen x parents yes. I dont think that's true for xennial/ millenial parents. I think it's changing due to access to better family planning options and more people not being afraid to be child free.

[@kevinc8955]

@@MichadooEvery generation of deluded kids thinks they are more enlightened than their parents. And then you end up becoming just like them.

[@autobotdiva9268]

because that commerical played everyday at dinnertime in the 50s on how to raise a family

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

As an older GenXer, I think you are thinking too much like a Mill (constant victim mentality) and not embracing your inner GenX (if it exists). We raised ourselves and didn't get hurt and bothered by it. I went NC with my dad and, for a long time, low contact with my mom. It was what I wanted. My mom has been there as much or as little as I wanted. It isn't a reflection on her or her feeling; it's about me and my boundaries. You may want to take a closer look at you relationship and ask how much of it you control.

[@BABYDOLL87LOVELY]

MANY OF US ARE #TRUELY BETTER OFF!!! I CUT ALL TIES WITH MY MOTHER 4 YEARS BACK & MY PEACE HAS INCREASED. WHILE I AM HAUNTED BY OFTEN BY MEMORIES BECAUSE OF WHAT SHE PUT ME THOUGH. I FIND JOY IN KNOWING. THERE IS NOTHINGS MORE SHE CAN DO TO HURT ME!

[@Marie-mq3kb]

How do u heal? Currently going through the same thing.

[@BABYDOLL87LOVELY]

I WENT TO THERAPY!! IT REALLY HELPED!!! THE THING IS, I BATTLE DEPRESSION. I HAD GONE TO MANY THERAPIST, FOR MANY YEARS. WHO HAD ADVISED ME TO CUT TIES. SHE WAS THE ABUSER BUT REFUSED TO SEEK COUNCEL/HELP. MEANWHILE I WENT. #EACH 1 TOLD ME TO BE ABLE TO FULLY HEAL. I SHOULD REMOVE MYSELF FROM THE SITCH/CUT ALL TIES. BECAUSE THE LEVEL OF TOXICITY WAS A DANGER TO ME. INSPITE OF HOW CRUEL SHE WAS FOR A LONG TIME I HOPED SHE WOULD CHANGE. SHE DIDN'T, BUT I KNEW, I HAD TOO. I LIMITED CONTACT AT FIRST...BUT THAT DIDN'T HELP. BECAUSE WHEN SHE WOULD COME AROUND OR REACH OUT THE INTERACTIONS WOULD BE WORSE. MORE THAN ANYTHING I WANTED TO HEAL. IT GOT TO A POINT WHERE I BELIEVED ONE OF US WOULD NOT SURVIVE/LIVE. I STOPPED ANSWERING HER CALLS. BLOCKED HER NUMBER/HER SOCIAL MEDIAS. HER EMAIL. AND IT FELT LIKE THE BIGGEST WEIGHT HAD BEEN LIFTED FROM MY CHEAST. LIKE THERE WAS ALWAYS THIS BURDEN THAT RESTED THERE... I CRIED FOR A COUPLE DAYS. THAN I GOT A NEW THERAPIST. IN THE PAST I WONDERED WHY THERAPY NEVER SEEMED TO HELP. IT WAS BECAUSE I KEPT SAYING I WANTED BE HEALED BUT HOLDING ONTO THE DEMON THAT WAS HURTING ME.​ @@Marie-mq3kb IT ISN'T GOING TO BE EASY. YOU MAY HAVE FAM/PEOPLE IN YOU EAR LIKE ME, TELLING YOU "THAT'S STILL YOUR MOTHER". "YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO EVER CUT TIES WITH HER" "WHAT SHE DID IS IN THE PAST" "Y'ALL ARE FAM". I URGE YOU TO IGNORE THESE PEOPLE. I DON'T KNOW WHY/WHAT YOUR REASON IS FOR CUTTING YOUR MOM OFF. BUT NO ONE DOES THIS FOR NO REASON. MOST OF US DIDN'T WANT TO BUT YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF AND YOUR SANITY. SAVE YOUR LIFE. SHE WAS AFFECTING MY MENTAL HEALTH & PHYSICAL. I STARTED TO WHERE A MONITOR BECAUSE OF MY BLOOD PRESSURE. THE ONLY THING IN MY LIFE THAT CAUSED IT TO ELEVATE. WOULD BE MY EVIL ASS MOTHER. I KNEW BEFORE I WORE IT. YOUR GONNA BE OKAY!!! IF IT'S STILL EARLY. IT LIKELY STILL HURTS. THE MORE TIME THAT PASSES. THE BETTER YOU WILL FEEL. I KNOW I'VE HEALED BECAUSE I COULDN'T TALK ABOUT HER OR WHAT SHE DID WITHOUT CRYING OR MY EYES WATERING. I CAN TALK ABOUT IT AND NOW THERE IS NO EMOTIONAL REACTION. SHE CAN'T HURT ME ANYMORE! HEALING IS A PROCESS SO IT WILL TAKE TIME. BUT YOU WILL GET THERE 🙂

[@BABYDOLL87LOVELY]

​​@@Marie-mq3kb NOT SURE WHY IT DIDN'T POST. MY RESPONSE WAS. I WENT TO THERAPY. I WENT FOR YEARS...MOST OF MY LIFE. (ALL THE THERAPIST TOLD ME...I SHOULD CUT TIES. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOTHER WAS DANGEROUSLY TOXIC. I WANTED TO BE HEALED BUT CONTINUED TO DEAL WITH THE CAUSE OF ALL MY PAIN. AFTER I REMOVED HER FROM MY LIFE. I WENT BACK TO THERAPY...AND IT HELPED. I ALSO STARTED TO JOURNAL. AND USE SOME OF THE HEALTHY OUTLETS SUGGESTED TO ME. I KNOW I AM HEALED BECAUSE WHENEVER I WOULD BRING UP MY MOTHER OR ABUSE I ENDURED FROM HER...I WOULD CRY. I NO LONGER CRY ABOUT IT. MY EYES DON'T WATER BECAUSE I KNOW. SHE CAN NO LONGER HARM ME. IT DOES GET EASIER WITH TIME!

[@BABYDOLL87LOVELY]

​@@Marie-mq3kb NOT SURE WHY MY RESPONSE DIDN'T POST 2X. THIS TIME I'LL KEEP IT SHORT. THERAPY & TIME!!!

[@silververnallbells191]

@@Marie-mq3kb What helped w/my PTSD is therapy, giving myself patience, and connecting to Kali Ma (my favorite Goddess) 💟

[@justanotherjezebeI]

6:47 these people are confusing no contact with the silent treatment, and it's very telling.

[@TheOriginalScorpioBelle]

2:54 That’s because they are going no contact to attempt to hurt their parents. Not because they don’t want anything to do with them. They are throwing a tantrum and want a reaction.

[@daveduffy2823]

I’m a Gen X parent and my wife and I best prepared our Gen Z kids to survive in this world as we could. I told them both, do something customer facing. Jobs that don’t do that get automated or outsourced to low wage countries. I don’t expect to hear from them much. That tells me they are doing ok. I am a firm believer in “no news is good news.” We are available if they need us.

[@nicoobrowner]

The sad thing is SOME kids go no contact for petty reasons and after putting their parents THROUGH THE MOST (eg. wanting to rebel in the hourse, being mad at restrictive rules). A lot of the time these parents don't walk away easily, they feel an obligation to their kids and to teach and correct them. One day, when the kids choose to go no contact, the parent is finally AT PEACE. I recently attended a funeral of one of these 'no contact children'. His mother officially LET HIM GO for her peace of mind. He was rebellious and she didn't want to lose her sanity. I am in full support of such parents. ✊🏽More parents need to go no contact- for peace!

[@olympiaelda1121]

"wanting to rebel in the hourse, being mad at restrictive rules" ... isnt it what teenagers are supposed to do, tho? Im pretty sure those are normal kids behaviours. You seem fishy...

[@pmeehan_3]

@@olympiaelda1121 I agree. There is way more to this story.

[@AmberColeman-gq1wn]

Nah- half of it is men who apparently didn’t want the children- slept with different women and made differences amongst sets of kids and women who children based on trying to keep some worthless man around. It’s always far deeper than most want to admit .

[@Roques-rage1706]

I agree. Peace is priceless

[@nicoobrowner]

@olympiaelda1121 I may sound fishy because I was taught to respect and honor my parents, and that is something you may not subscribe to where you are from. No parent is perfect, and neither are children. I refuse to believe that because teenagers are prone to rebeling that parents should give them the right to run their house by relaxing their protective rules. That is dangerous on the parents' part and quiet, neglectful. Kids who refuse to see this, however, are quick to call parents toxic and strict, hence choosing to go no contact with them when they are adults. I am in full support of parents who've done their best and respected the adult child's choice to no longer obey them or honor them. For their peace of mind, let them get life to teach them. And boy, does LIFE teach rebellious and unappreciative people!

[@ReneeRates]

"Some of you are just wrong,” but the real issue is that many parents (more than most people would like to believe) are manipulative, toxic, and abusive. Moreover, some parents believe they never do anything wrong and refuse to apologize to their children because they don't want to be held accountable for their actions and have no intention of changing. Going no contact with parents is a difficult decision for most people, and it’s rarely for petty reasons. From the silent generation, boomer generation, and gen x generation, there is unfortunately a strong cycle of abuse. Hopefully, it will stop with the millennial generation.

[@attitudeproblem6462]

That’s why I said that therapist is full of crap when he said only a _small percentage_ of adult children go no contact for what _he_ feels like are legitimate reasons.😒😒😒 So he feels like there’s all these stellar Boomer/GenX parents out here whose kids have *no* reason for going no contact??🤨🙄

[@cosmosadorabilis7677]

She was so defensive, and her saltiness contradicts what she says about her relationship with her children.

[@gbalonso8261]

My coworker went no contact with her mother after she didn't approve of her new partner. She has 4 baby daddy's and jumped into a relationship after 3 months. She basically abandoned 2 of her kids to move with her new partner. There are some shitty parents out there but also shitty kids. The mother at this point stopped giving a shit because she's a grown 35 year old woman acting like a kid. She also quit our workplace when we pointed out some very controlling aspects of her boyfriend since we were firends. Before you blame the mom no she wast abusive. Her brother explained his sister's always been bull headed about any man she falls for and will cut out anyone when she's called out on her shitty choices. Then we have the the grandmother who now has to support her 2 grandchildren out of the blue. Her brother said she will only contact family if things are going sour. Maybe she ment these type of children.

[@hellokaumea8315]

​@@gbalonso8261the daughter is not like that out of nowhere I guess

[@crazycatdragon]

@@attitudeproblem6462I think that’s part of my mental problem, all the therapist and counselors and the psychiatrist I have had have been gen x who can’t understand what I went through and they just tell me to get over it and stop living in the past. They don’t understand that “petty” reasons are probably the straw that broke the camel’s back after years of neglect. It may have just been small things but enough small things built up over years is a big thing.

[@LearnAsYouGo.]

18:09 I’m sorry but why are you as an adult with a husband & child still on your parents phone plan?

[@tashawilliams8093]

💯

[@ScurvyRascal]

Exactly 😂😂😂

[@nichellerodriguez1524]

Did she say exactly why she went no contact with her family? She was really pissed about the cell phone plan. In reality, she should pay for her parents' cell phone plan.

[@jazzy1935]

These are the same parents that left their children to be latch key kids and mostly raise themselves. They don't care....until they need help from you or when a peer ask "how are your children doing"? Otherwise, they mostly saw their kids as a burden, elders expressed this in so many ways.

[@cocoapeach]

Gen X didn’t leave our children to be latchkey kids. We WERE latchkey kids.

[@downbad2874]

They won’t care even when I need help you won’t be the person they call

[@rootelation486]

We were latch key kids because the economy demanded that both parents work. Our boomer parents didn't leave us alone because they hated us. They did what they had to do to provide for us and we respected that. We were a lot more mature at really young ages and self sufficient with the exception of finance. Times were much different, we were out all day on weekends minding our business and staying out of grown folks business.....somewhere halfway through the millenials everything flip flopped and the world became overly sensitive and offended by everything from a look to a sneeze. Now everybody needs meds and therapy to get through a day. Every emotion is worn on the sleeve and we can't sit in the same room together. I don't have time for that....most of my generation doesn't have time for that....we speak different languages now and it's frustrating for both sides. What I know is the "friend parents" of today's technology kids are gonna have a rough time when these kids are 25 because all they are used to is getting their own way, and that's just not how the world works.

[@Bloombaby99]

Thank you for saying this cause I'm a millennial (born 1991) and what you said is so true: I've heard and seen so many millennials talk about how both parents (Boomers and Gen X) complain about having to take care of their kids like somebody forced them to have/make kids in the first place. These same parents would break their backs for their fake friends, wishy washy family members, or a wayward lover but would act like somebody asked them to take down Bin Laden if their kids asked for a Happy Meal or even a basic necessity or extra curricular activity. It's no longer a mystery why the no-contact trend took off so fast and quick (this wasn't even a "trend" back in the day, we just did it).

[@jazzy1935]

@@cocoapeach Those of us that were born in the early 80’s (cusp millennials) are now in our early 40’s and late 30’s. We were latchkey kids 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@Eph320joel]

I am a GenXer I've asked one of my adult children to stop contacting me as well as his siblings continuously for finances due to his negligent and wasteful spending. I love all my children. I had to implement the No Contact because of boundaries.

[@TiktokHair-od3vb]

You’re wrong period

[@TiktokHair-od3vb]

That money will go away one day and you will need them. Money will not buy you anything that they can offer or provide. Once they get financially stable they will help you stop being stingy

[@corlenajames1381]

Don't listen to these two 😂 You are NOT wrong for setting boundaries with anyone, even when they're your own (adult) children. I'm both a parent and an adult child. I didn't have the best mom, but I have never expected my mother's money to support any part of my life into adulthood. There may have been times she's offered, as have I with my own young adult children, but none of us have ever felt entitled to another person's bag like that, especially not a family member's.

[@terezahoward4008]

You did right. They don't want to adult.

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

TikTokHair has to be a GenZ or Mill to come up with that reaction. You are completely correct.

[@Life.Love.Locs.]

There is a grieving process to no contact. Your inner child is hurt by the the realisation that they DO NOT CARE and it hurts like hell. Making the logical decision to go no contact doesn't change the REAL emotions you will go through. And it's totally ok to feel and work through those emotions.

[@jozey555]

THIS i cant believe so many adults in the comment section can’t fathom this lmao. apparently the average person severely lacks emotional intelligence

[@AG-iu9lv]

If you're going no contact specifically to fish for a drama-filled high octane reaction, the other person is not the problem

[@peacefreedom4930]

I’m confused by this conversation. If a child goes no contact, that’s a boundary. Isn’t the expectation that the parents respect the boundaries? If someone wants nothing to do with you, you don’t chase behind them. That’s stalking, obsession, possessiveness, a lack of respect for boundaries. You could be heart broken inside. But you leave them alone and move on. If the parents were ignoring the boundaries, the children would complain about that. I don’t understand what the expectation is.

[@livingoutloudwithDrMimiCheri]

Some of their expectation is to control the parents through emotional manipulation by going no contact. They then get upset when it doesn't work!

[@EmilyPlein]

@@livingoutloudwithDrMimiCheri exactly 👏

[@Hayotowin]

It's just millennials & zoomers trying to emotionally blackmail their parents into giving them their way. And failing at it miserably.

[@SoIAM-sj3bb]

Correct,, a lot of the people on this platform are just spiteful. Only a few have a legit reason to go no contact. Most just are going no contact, because one it is trendy and two their feeling's have been hurt or they got a spanking sometime in their life.

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

No manipulation from me. I'm gen x and I'm estranged from my father because a lifetime of rejection takes its toll and I couldn't live that way anymore. It was a difficult choice and not one I made lightly. I have zero regrets for letting go and accepting him for who he is. I never stopped loving him, but it's incredibly difficult going through life knowing you're an afterthought to a parent. What became clear was I mattered and that meant I needed to take care of my sanity. He's not safe for me to interact with because the result is always the same rejection.

[@katfayegarrett3872]

Gen x here...we've been going no contact with our boomer/silent generation parents for years.

[@whateveryoureckon420]

This is so weird. Going No contact with someone means NO CONTACT and completely cutting ties. I have no emotional ties or relational ties with my “parents” at all. I have no idea how they responded to my no contact and I don’t care- they are dead to me. If they ever contact me again I will contact the police for a restraining order and they know that, I have already had one against my father but it has lapsed. People expecting a reaction from no contact are not actually wanting no contact, they do not want to actually cut ties if they are wanting a reaction and to have those parents to try to contact them. Personally, if mine tried I would immediately feel unsafe and call the police, as my father was extremely abusive and nearly killed me multiple times and my mother was worse imo. People need to grow up and stop using NC as a manipulation tactic imo. NC is NC, and the severing of all emotional ties to that person. If you want a relationship with someone- communicate FFS.

[@crazycatdragon]

I know some people who only had children to get them out of the house. They literally had the baby still in the womb and were already saying that they couldn’t wait until they were 18 and would leave the house. Most of the parents I knew only had children as a status symbol. “I’m a parent so I’m better than you.”

[@1Skorpia]

Marriage also. Women looked down on women for not being married or not had kids. It was disgusting. There were alot more Bible thumpers also. Having a child out if wedlock was horrible. You HAD to get married. Hence why alot if marriages were abusive.

[@coolchameleon21]

that’s so bizarre.

[@Bur-b5r]

pretty sure my mom only had me so she could get her citizenship (from where i was born). I haven't spoken to her in 5 years and I have never been happier to have her out of my life

[@crazycatdragon]

@@Bur-b5r hugs sweet girl. Glad you’re happy.

[@shawntoriawilliams921]

🎯🎯🎯

[@mallen5990]

So you wanted to go no contact. The person/people that you want no contact with are not contacting you. NOW you're mad that the no contact that you wanted and initiated is happening. So you are the problem.

[@MissKashira]

If I cut contact with someone because they were abusive trash, I'd be relieved if they didn't try to contact me, not upset. I think the first poster was doing it to get her parents' attention, not because she believed they were truly horrible.

[@cadijakareema]

These adult kids are in a perpetual state of childhood😊

[@LilithsCosmicLounge]

Wait!! So the adult kid’s are bothered that their parents don’t want to build a relationship with them? But they want no contact? Wth 😮 Why would you care as the adult child? I don’t get it 😂

[@TheOriginalScorpioBelle]

Because they’re having a tantrum and didn’t realize that they are adults now and no one cares. 🤣🤣🤣

[@strivingtoonedaybeuseful6049]

Because you still need your parents even as an adult. How is this hard for you to understand?

[@sandysmith71]

@@strivingtoonedaybeuseful6049 no , you are a grown person that means you have moved on to having adult relationships. Your parents expect you to behave like adults who can take care of them selves . You SAID it you STILL need them. I call BS . You want to go NC because they won’t have a relationship with you where you NEED them ? A grown up relationship is where it’s of mutual benefit ie not where one person does all the taking.

[@silververnallbells191]

@@sandysmith71 No. Parental love doesn't stop just bcuz someone turned 18. If the love was real it doesn't magically go away. MOST people get along w/their families and can celebrate with them & not just on holidays. We ALL need Love. Family is important. Yes, we need each other grown or not. It's called a FAMILY for a reason. Duh.

[@coleycole5344]

@@sandysmith71 Y'all don't get to half-az raise and abuse children then when they're 18 wipe your hands and say 'i did my best'. Y'all aren't fooling anybody with your childish unaccountability. Lazy manipulators.

[@Diana734]

They do not care until the time comes up when they cannot fend for themselves.

[@TheOriginalScorpioBelle]

They won’t call you. 😂 this is some really self centered thinking.

[@Bloombaby99]

​@@TheOriginalScorpioBelle Well, that shouldn't be a problem. After all, it was okay for the parents to be self centered so....what goes around, comes around.

[@TheOriginalScorpioBelle]

@@Bloombaby99 baby you missed the point.

[@tomicasreview3087]

They still won’t care don’t flatter yourself 😂

[@KurosakiLuvar01]

Right when they can’t take a shite on their own 🙄 lmao

[@amybrown9539]

So are we supposed to bother them if they go no contact by their choice? I'm confused. If you ghost us, then through others tell us they want nothing to do with you. It makes no sense, am I supposed to harrass you when you want nothing to do with us. I'm confused, is this a trend? Maybe they are respecting what you said were your wishes.

[@cindita2023]

Both sides exists. There are children that have been abused and had bad relationships with their parents. But there are also children that are just triggered by anything, like telling them to pick up their room.

[@corlenajames1381]

​@LifeAsSimOmg THIS.

[@amyrussell860]

True that.

[@n.g.l.]

I'm going no contact and I'm so excited. No scapegoat for them, looks like they'll have to deal with their own issues. Plus who are they going to lie on to their partners and friends. I'm not there and they'll notice real quick they've been lied to.

[@faxnsnaxofficial7400]

That pregnant lady is a problem. If you block someone, why are you expecting them to call you. She needs therapy cause she still wants everyone validation.

[@TheBarloboat]

Exactly! She got what tf she wants. Now she wants to cry because they respected her wish. 🙄 Her husband needs to man up and take care of his family.

[@1SavageQueen89]

She is the type that the LCSW was saying is going no contact for a “slight” issue. She definitely seems very attention oriented

[@HashiraTengen]

There are those who have been doormats their entire lives and finally decided to go no contact, but aren't sure how. Remember, it's only been a few months for her. Sometimes it takes multiple times to really let go if they have always been weak willed in the past.

[@mogulmade]

She is the problem. I'm so sure the calm of her being gone is amazing for them.

[@quichawnabryant]

This idea that you have to care so much about someone and how they relate to you simply because you have the same blood or shared experiences, it’s just tired. I can see myself having adult kids and being like, “Yo, I’m not dealing with you. You’re an adult. Grow up.” And I can also see myself as an adult child and being like, “Yo, I’m not dealing with you. I’m an adult. Stop treating me like a child.” It is what it is.

[@maco9324]

This is how I feel about this situation. I will also include the cousins, brother, sister, uncle, auntie, grandparent type of situations also. Life in general can be a blessing or a stresser. It all depends on what's dealt to each individual. Oh, I missed the girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife combination. Every relationship is different with the love or non love involved. We don't have any control over other people's behavior and never will.

[@jakeh9338]

I absolutely agree. I've cut off contact with several cousins after our Grandmom passed away and they got into her house (they had a key) while my Granddad, Dad, and I were at the funeral home for her viewing to divvy up which pieces of her jewelry they wanted. That was the day I learned with family, "If I wouldn't put up with this kind of behavior from someone I chose to be in my life, why would I from people whose only association is some shared strands of DNA"

[@teeshante]

Nothing makes you appreciate a parent more than becoming one yourself… Gen Z is a group that wants to be heard without hearing others. Gen X is one of the most independent generations of modern history. How do you want more from them when 9/10 they had way less than you (physiologically and emotionally).

[@mogulmade]

Factual!!!! My peers are so delusional. We really think we are raising better kids and they hate us and disrespect us by preteen nowadays😅

[@EmpressKiya.]

So then Gen Z are right! Gen X and the generations above do not have the range psychologically and emotionally. Gen X are proud that their parents neglected them (that baffles me). Yes, independence grew from the neglect but at what cost? I believe that the disconnect is good for human evolution because we can clearly see that Gen X, Boomers, and above are too comfortable with the status quo rather than shaking the table. Too comfortable following what was and not creating what can be. Gen X says that millennials and Gen Z cry and complain too much and too that I say y’all ain’t complain enough. I’m happy to see that Gen X will be the LAST generation that will just take what society has laid out for them simply due to “times were different”.

[@teeshante]

@@EmpressKiya. Wow! That is an extremely poor take quite snobbish actually. Gen X was the first real generation that experienced desegregated schools, they are the first to navigate the change and “promises” of the civil rights movement. There are many privileges that’s been afforded to you that is the direct and indirect work and choices of those that came before you.

[@EmpressKiya.]

@@teeshante I respect your opinion. So how is it by your response, that Gen X cannot understand where it is that Millennials and Gen Z are coming from? It does not make any sense and you cannot be on both sides of the spectrum. Millennials and Gen Z are doing the exact thing you say that Gen X and others did before. This is what we mean when we say you guys are capped to an extent emotionally and psychologically. You can understand your time but somehow Gen X cannot understand Gen Z’s? The ones that came before us have no idea why Millennials and Gen Z are moving the way they do? I’m sorry that is ridiculous and I have all faith and KNOW that Gen X can do way better.

[@teeshante]

@ I’m a millennial… I see faults and flaws within both generations. My situation is even more unique because my husband is Gen X and his daughter (my stepdaughter) is an adult Gen Z. Getting the both of them to see where each other is coming from is challenging. Nuance and context has to be added to each conversation and bashing one or the other is not going to get you anywhere. Gen X has kept their heads down and worked hard, no one checked in on their emotions or mental well being… Gen Z wants to save the world and fix all the problems but understand without the generations that came before you wouldn’t have the time, space, or background to do so. We don’t come to where we are without the past. Altruistic work without a foundation is dead.

[@lovedbyyah8302]

Destiny, your makeup looks amazing! Give us a makeup tutorial.

[@DestinyUteh]

Thank you. 🙏🏾❤️❤️❤️ makeup tutorials coming use on my beauty channel @ Destiny Uteh Beauty

[@88QueenOfHearts]

My Gen X mom wasn't mother material, so she would not care. However, my Gen X dad would be heart broken if I went no contact. My problem is they are still together, so I can't go no contact with one and not the other. Pretty sure my mom is still with him out of spite because of that fact. Since she knows everyone will cut her out of family events if they were to divorce.

[@misslola007]

That is devilish. I would have gone as petty as her and take my dad out to dinners or invite him to my house. I wouldn't care if anyone had an issue with that.

[@sensimania]

You can still greatly minimize contact with your mum. If your relationship is bad enough, you can ignore her calls and stop visiting the house. As the other comment said, invite your dad on days out and dinner at your home. They're married but not joined at the hip. And if dad tries to persuade you to talk to mum, sit him down and tell him the reasons why you wont, and respectfully ask him to refrain from mentioning her to you.

[@HTownstylist253]

As soon as my dad passed I went no contact with my mother and haven't spoken to her since. It's been ten years.

[@pri.sci.lla.]

We want them to not contact us 😂

[@Roques-rage1706]

😂

[@Tezzzz7]

💯

[@emmaleajackson5037]

I beleive this observation is right. I am a Gen X who recently decided to go no contact with both of my parents. However I do not have an issue with them being unconcerend. They have ruined our entire family. Their lack of empathy, emotional support and love is the reason I made the decision. I did not do it to get a response from them. I did it so that I. can stop having a response to the emotional neglect. I truly did not expect there to be a change in their bahavior. In fact. I am glad they are not phased. It lets me know this very hard decision that it has taken me 52 years to make is absolutely the right one. I did not do it to hurt them I did it because I am tired of them hurting me. So cheers to my boomer parents. We can all stop pretending to GAF. If you are going no contact as trend or for any other reason than needing to have peace, stop whatever hurt or abuse you are experiencing and or to set a boundary to protect yourself your reason for doing it needs to be reassessed. You cannot expect your parents to come running up behind you. If that was their method of operation chances are you would not be considering NC. It still feels weird because I always hoped that while my parents were emotional neglectful to me as a child maybe somehow we could have a relationship that I could tolerate once I was an adult. But nope! That's not the case. I recently realized my parents and their complete emotional neglience is the reason I grew up to be a people pleaser, the reason I held on to bad relationships entirely too long, (including my 20 year marriage that has recently ended), the reason I had low self esteem and minimumal self worth. I learned to deal with and except hurtful treatment from them. So everyone that came afterward was a piece of cake. Hell no I'm not upset that they don't care. For the first time in my life they are being true. I applaud them. They didn't want me and well the fact is if I had a choice I would have picked a differnt family line to enter into this world through so I guess it makes sense. Making the descition to cut them off has been very healing and hurtful in a weird way. But it also makes me feel like I am taking my power back. You don't get to enjoy my amazing energy and unconditional love when everthing about you is conditioned. Forget that. I am ok with have 4 legged family members. Picking up poop behind a dog is much more tolerable than getting served it from my parents and them expecting me to act like I like it.

[@madmann1000]

Honestly, I disagree with simply saying these people were bad parents, some kids just grow up to become spoiled entitled unappreciative adults as well.

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

Yeah, some offspring is difficult, too. Raising a kid is nurture and nature.

[@yhiontop]

Wrong...they are not bothered because they refuse to be emotionally blackmailed by their children. I see a lot of newer generations threatening their parents with nursing homes and going no contact to try to manipulate the parents' behaviour to suit them . Any self-respecting parent will call your bluff and say good riddance. Don't forget that parents are also people with their own emotions and feelings and a right to be treated with respect just as much as you demand it from them.

[@SandySandy-p1g]

That’s what a lot of them forget that we have emotions and feeling as well. My daughter has made me cry numerous times with her nasty ways and she couldn’t careless. You can’t even ask her to go to the store for you without her getting nasty. If she ever goes no contact I would definitely be ok with that.

[@mandiibloomfield1783]

This.👍

[@jportaMdza]

Yep!

[@user-qb8qm4mp5n]

I see it as manipulation. They didn't get their way.

[@misstoyad8401]

👀 so if you go no contact, you want your parents to disrespect your choice and contact you? But you said not to talk to you. As an adult if I say don’t talk to me ( regardless of generations) that’s what I mean. So why you mad that I honored your choice, isn’t that why you not talking to me? 👀 please make it make sense. Is the parent supposed to curl up and die? What you want them to do.

[@StrawberryPie1973]

Exactly what I was thinking. You said, 'Go away', so away I go. Don't be mad at me. 🤷‍♀️

[@yawnsoften]

I've been no contact with my Boomer mother, I'm GenX, for almost 20 years. It was a process. I had to go no contact, and yes, you miss your mother or want her especially when carrying your own child or times when you need a word of advice and wisdom. I had to face the fact she was never and had never been those things for me. So it was like missing the idea of a mother. So I mourned her as if she had died. About 2 years and tons of grieving and tears and you slowly start healing. I remember bumping into her in the store one time while she was visiting...and I felt nothing. Her face was that of any other walking by. I don't look to be included in her will. She doesn't look to me for a relationship or elder care. I believe it's been best for both of us. Recently I noticed that as a child my aunt did many, many motherly things for me and it changed my loneliness for being orphaned to being greatful. Time heals all. Whatever you choose to do, know that splitting ties...does just that. Sometimes there's no coming back from it, even if you try, so be sure. Live your truth. Loves sisters

[@MsRenaissance]

I think there are two sides to it as the gentleman said. There are some young people who go no contact for valid reasons like a young lady I know who was being m○|3sted by her father from 14 years old and her mother knew and did nothing about it. Now the girl is grown, the parents refuse to take any accountability or even discuss the matter they tell her its in the past she should let it go so she decided to have nothing to do with them. Cases like that are understandable. There are other cases where kids feel like they are entitled and parents owe them something because they are their parents and they are so d!srespectful and ungrateful to the parents that when they go no contact the parents are like go right ahead you ungrateful br@t. If I did my best to raise you and youre going to throw some tantrum and cut me off them why shouldbi chase you? At some point you have to realize that children are people and if they don't want to deal with you, why chase them. Unless you know there are some issues you need to resolve.

[@Apricot90]

We were KIDS when these people abused and used us and acted all perfect to the public! But they had controle over us and we couldn't just leave and had to endure till we were of legal age! THERE ARE NOT TWO SIDES!

[@aquacollinspeoples6230]

My son cut me off bc he was angry first that I divorced his toxic dad after 31 yrs of a verbal abusive marriage, and then he bought into his dad's lie that I was unfaithful which neither ever had adequate proof. He refuses to try to talk to me as hus mother who always loved, and protected him from his verbally abusive dad about some personal issues he was going through as a teen. He forgot all about I tried to be there regardless but I also made a bad mistake and I owned them to everybody but no one wants to forgive me. My son continues to live with his dad and drinks his dad's venom daily!! I've learned to live with it for my mental health and self-worth.

[@dangermauz754]

As a Gen X.. I agree with the parents going no contact or complying with this request. The only thing that I feel needs to be done also is, the generations after us should stop using them as a launch pad to start over. Leave their resources alone. Don't move into their homes. Because, when I was growing up, and struggled financially. I didn't borrow from my mother. I lived with her once. But, rented single bedrooms until I got a full time job. Because, I am an adult. I think they should be consistent with it. I personally don't care about the pyscho-babble of trying to call us narcissistic(it's just talk. And, it's being weaponized to judge others from a pedastel they've created for themselves). I was told very young that the world owes you nothing. Yes, that means the parents are included.

[@Laquia]

Some Gen Xers aren't willing to admit they messed up with their adult kids they're so filled with ego (e.g. "I'm right, you're wrong!", "Do as I say not as I do!") hence why the no contact is initiated by the adult kids. And whether you want to accept it or not or like it or not, narcissism in Baby Boomers and GenXs Parents do exist as much as narcissistic adult kids. Why do you think books authored by Susan Forward are so popular and recommended to GenXers dealing with Baby Boomer narcissist parents?

[@dangermauz754]

@@Laquia Whether you like it or not? There's actually no such thing as narcissism. There's no record of how to successfully raise children. There's no proof that wealth being passed down to the next generation actually guarantees that they'll fulfill a legacy. Whenever, most of you talk about all this narcissism, it reminds me of the days when people followed "Eastern philosophies". It suddenly vanished. And, the people who got famous for this doctrine? Well, a lot of them are in prison for fraud. So, you can't see this now. You're like many who are very arrogant. Because, most of you have been emboldened by your therapists(who are modern day psychics) to believe that if you confront your parents and go no contact that this will hurt them like they hurt you. Well, as you can see, your dollars didn't prepare you for the fallout. The best you can do is, prepare your own children to walk away from you. There are actual laws in place that give children the right to remove their parents' guardianship. They already have the right to get birth control without a parents consent. And, there's also child protective services that can give you a guardian. Because, reality is, no one owes you anything. You are independent and an individual as soon as you are born. The sooner you come to this realization, the better. But, that's my two cents.

[@mtngrl5859]

@@Laquia Part of being an Adult means taking ownership of one's life & stop blaming others. Some of these Millennials act like they are still teenagers. You are heading into middle aged and still act like you are 14. Get over your parents. Do you think that Boomers and Gen X had perfect parents? We didn't have the luxury of virtue signaling word salad generation. We got on with life and dealt with shit.

[@Laquia]

@@mtngrl5859 Part one of being an adult is admitting to the wrongs you made that hurt those around you especially your adult children. After all, their parents didn't because they felt they could do no wrong (and never even like their kids to respect their kids) so they thought to themselves "well why should I then"? Part of also being an adult is owning up to your mistakes you made as a parent to your adult children. Some of these Baby Boomers/GenXers are way too prideful as if they're above reproach with an air of superiority they like to possess that makes it hard to breathe around them most times. Are you yourself too good to own up? Surely you are not a 💯% flawless parent yourself who has never made a mistake in their years of parenting. You acknowledged not being a perfect parent, but you sure as FN hell act like it when it comes to cultural differences in generations. And you couldn't be more wrong than you already are. FYI I am 32 (didn't expect that huh? Nah didn't think you would lol). I won't be middle aged until 2035. Your generation was the "children should be seen and not heard" which meant you didn't have the privilege to have a voice, to be independent critical thinkers, to challenge the societal status quo. You were raised to do what you were told and shut up while doing it. If you had any issues regarding school or life you were dismissed because again, "children should be seen and not heard" generation all the way up to adulthood for those "generational milestones" (e.g. go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have kids, retire, grow old and die). Welp, guess what? We couldn't do that because surprise surprise the 2008 recession happened, and after that there was the pandemic. With the cultural shift change you may not (want) to understand certain terms/labels (you're old - keep up) used by millennials and gen zers so we can understand the definitions and descriptions of said terms/labels used between current generations. You treat it as "virtue signaling word salad generation" as you call it (wtf that means) because by your archaic attitude you lack being open-minded by staying in an outsiders position no of us forced you to be in. Simply, if you wanna understand us why we do what we do compared to generations before us, like you would want us to do for y'all, be compassionate and willing to listen and process what we've been saying. It's the bare minimum. If we can do it why the hell can't yall? Oh of course, how could I've forgotten? Because of y'all pride.

[@Laquia]

@@mtngrl5859 @mtngrl5859 If you can't own up that you messed up as a parent to your own adult children (e.g admit your mistakes, own up to you wrongs inflicted onto them) compared to them that try to do better with their children while young to avoid the mistakes you made? It says a lot about you as a person more than it does as a parent. The pride you hold is more important than the pain you caused to your own adult child that made them go NC on you. And FYI, I'm not middle aged like you. I won't be until 2035 LMAO

[@angeliyah2879]

Naw just ain’t got time for immature bull ish these young adults play because they’re feelings are hurt

[@butterbeantv]

Wait.. you are an adult, and made an adult decision to not be in contact with your parents. Gen X parents are respecting your decision/boundaries and giving you the space that you requested, and now you are mad that the parents are not in contact with you - or begging you to be in contact? I know every situation is different. I know there is bad parenting. But *this* as a concept and a complaint is RICH.

[@EnlightenedGoldenBeauty]

I think the point you’re missing is that the parents are too egotistical to apologize, even when they know they’re in the wrong. If a simple apology is too much to mend the relationship, then no contact was the right decision

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

​@@EnlightenedGoldenBeautyThan word it like that. Besides being ignorant, communication skills are a flaw of humans.

[@kevinc8955]

@@EnlightenedGoldenBeautyMaybe they don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m not a parent, but from what I can tell Zoomers are an awful generation of entitled loudmouth brats. You’re probably doing them a favor breaking off contact.

[@mtngrl5859]

Many of these Millennials are Narcissistic and due to SM feel that they are the center of the universe. No, you are not that important. One is an Adult at 18, your parents don't owe you anything beyond that age. If they can help with college, great.

[@mogulmade]

​@@EnlightenedGoldenBeautyYour assumption is that the parent is always in the wrong. Some of these kids are TRASH. And I'm Gen Z 😢

[@cococrazy7055]

Well ppl parents are respecting the boundaries you established so don’t cry ably it

[@ashleyruma9591]

My problem with NC due to “boundaries and trauma” is this. Children want to blame the boomers/gen x parents for bad upbringing and trauma and need “grace and space” (therapy lingo) but yet none of the therapists seem to be explaining that the parents also had trauma and difficult upbringings and NEED GRACE ANS SPACE ALSO…. Why is it only a one-sided viewpoint in vilifying parents?? Boomers and Gen-Xs were often neglected, abused, on their own and didn’t have the best role-models. Now suddenly we are expected to be Dr freakin Spock??? What if we say, “yeah I sucked at raising you, but that’s all i knew. Let’s go to therapy and fix it” and the adult child says, “oh no second chances, no excuses, I can’t handle rehashing it so bye.” -- that’s happening too often in my circle of family and friends. Sad.

[@c.e.123]

That therapist statement was very concerning. So, if your abuse could not be consider as a legitimate crime, it s not valid? Excuse me...

[@littleolmee]

I'm GenX my oldest was NC because she lied that she was moving states away for a job when she actually was chasing new dick when she'd just gotten out of an abusive relationship. Her dad & I kept telling her she needed to take time & heal, sent her to therapy, & was supporting her up to that point. We knew what she was doing when she left, but we kept our mouths shut & sent her with a smile. She only called twice after that, we left her alone to let her figure out life on her own. Wasn't we didn't care, but I'm not going to make myself sick over her decisions. She didn't want to talk so I was going to be respectful of that. She made the decision to get back in contact on her own a few years ago. We had a long talk about it, and she apologized. Since then she has called every day & wants to move back. I support people going NC/LC if they feel they need to, but like the older gentleman said sometimes the adult kids are just tossing a tantrum. & We parent adults are stepping back & letting you kid adults do you.

[@Jae-by3hf]

You raised her!

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

​@Jae-by3hf Not everything is about the upbringing. I have three kids of different character.

[@aizenosaimafidon1119]

@@Jae-by3hf a parent cannot control an ADULT!!

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

This is sad you're airing your child's dirty laundry on the Internet. I'm sorry I'm also gen x, but I'm child free and I'm estranged from my father. I was too broken from generational trauma to be healthy enough to have a family of my own. That being too broken to have a family of my own is in a way a blessing because that generational trauma ends with me and my brother simply because we never had kids of our own. Life has a way of correcting the wrongs that exist within dysfunctional families eventually.

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

@@Sarah-with-an-H Names were not names. There are so many people making personal comments on this thread about "bad parents" and you admonish about someone commenting on the issue of the adult child?

[@marinablackwell8055]

I am also a therapist and let me be the first to tell you that first ball he’s a social worker. They got the same ideas as child protective services and half of them give me a headache. Specialization is an abnormal behavior. I can assure you majority of people no contact with their parents majority of them have a reason. majority of them have tried before cutting their parents off. They did it as a last resort. They cut off their parents because they refuse to respect boundaries. They refuse to respect them as a person they refused to see them as a person. They treated their children as they are designer puppy not a person.. I want to raise a question in which I asked. Would it be OK for the same way that you treat your child for you to treat your spouse? They said if you treat your spouse that way that would be abuse and they would have every right to call the police on you. But that behavior was abusive to child

[@Maderlololohio]

Yes. And same for kids. If your kids continue the behaviour of their parent, an abusive ex be it mother or father: going no contact is needed against those kids as well. And that is the side we see here too those kids wondering why the parents don't mind. Cause the kids were being abusive as well

[@EnlightenedGoldenBeauty]

Thank you for saying this for those of us who had legit reasons to cut off our parents. We have gave so many chances and simply couldn’t take the abuse any longer.

[@queenofbeinghungryaf1025]

Exactly,some people in the comment section are speaking of the parent-child relationship as if it was a business relationship saying "those are consequences of your actions" as if it was a clear situation with no nuance and no feelings involved. A lot of time,the child gets to a breaking point where a conversation between adults as that man was saying is not possible because the person doesnt want to take accountability and doesn't want to converse. A lot of people from this generation also don't believe in therapy and having healthy conversation and it shows in the comments how some are calling children who are hurt that their parents don't care about them "stupid" for not thinking through their decisions like huh? It's usually one of the most difficult decisions to cut off a parent,children try so hard to get validation,care and love from their parents,it's not rocket science that that girl is grieving and coming to the realisation that it is confirmed that the parents don't reach out because they likely never cares for you as their child.

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

I have little to no respect for therapists since I look at the history of people and see humans become weaker the more therapy has become the "answer." The world was a harsher place in every generation before and yet we have a bunch of whiny, pathetic people who need safe spaces to get through a day. That said, I don't think the "majority" of those going NC have a real reason - not in the current younger generations. Look at the people posting online, dig into what they are really saying and all you see are narcissistic, controlling adult children who want to remain children but their parents aren't interested in dealing with perpetual 13-year-olds in adult bodies who refuse to grow up. It's a manipulation tactic and they get upset when the parent respects the boundaries and let's them go NC.

[@marinablackwell8055]

@@mortimerbrewster3671 clearly you didn’t look into humanity long enough because then you would know everything you just said was wrong. And of course you don’t have any respect for them. They are the people telling you that there’s something wrong with your behavior. But a few things people were not living mad people with severely debilitating mental illness. People killed themselves because they were diagnosed with a bunch of problems. Nobody knew how to actually handle it. We do things that we do. Anybody with half a brain cell and a bag full of peanuts in their head would fucking tell you that there’s a reason people live longer now. Back, then people would just kill themselves, and everyone would claim that it was from natural causes or mysterious circumstances. Those people were severely mentally ill and to not bring a stain on the family because that would look bad. They lied. And maybe if you got a degree rather than just going to KZbin and Facebook you would know this by their diaries that are posted to education. So shut the fuck up on that end. We have not become weaker in any means of that word people people think we become weaker or people who are not able to get away with abuse anymore . Let me tell you especially working in the field. Do you know how incredibly hard it is to tell your abuser no? Have strength away from someone hurting someone who could hurt you more. Do you know how many women have been murdered at the hands of their husband because they couldn’t walk away? It’s extra strength to sit on a stand and tell someone you are monster you have hurt people. It takes strength to cut someone off that you love so dearly because they are hurting you. Humans are creatures. The last thing we wanna do is to separate from someone. And it takes strength to be able to do that. Because there’s a lot of unknowns. There are people who homeless get away from their abuser and that’s scary as fuck. So don’t you ever disrespect the victim in your motherfucking life. You can feel how you want because your child wants nothing to do with you clearly and you’re upset about that. But majority of cases which by the way, narcissistic personality disorder is hereditary so if you think the child narcissist nonsense 10, more likely, the parents, the grandparents are too. Before spouting up nonsense you actually learn what these words mean. People don’t wake up and become a narcissist usually it’s genetic. Sometimes it’s from extreme acute trauma, which means you scarred somebody so much. They became a narcissist just to be able to function with the brain. Guess what that still makes you the problem!!! Majority of people go, noncontact have exhausted every other option. This is there. I can’t keep making you happy because it’s hurting me. So they have to sit there and have the hardest conversation with themselves to let you go. You don’t like it and yeah, you might see some people who go no contact still being somewhat communication with family members who they cut off it’s because it’s hard to completely cut someone off so they opt for low contact which means only when necessary to check in for birthdays or holidays. But they’re saying I can’t keep you in my space majority of the time because you hurt me and you are feeling too pay attention to it. How about you would argue if that’s kind of your vibe because you lack a lot of empathy clearly I can’t diagnose you cause I don’t know you well enough, but you lack introspection and you lack empathy

[@EleanorRoseRyan]

I have tried to talk things out with my dad so many times. Accepting that they refuse to even discuss the pain they caused is hard to process. They are supposed to protect you, not abandon you. I love my dad, and I will miss him. That being said, I cannot pretend nothing happened. Expecting your child to live a lie is adding to the pain. So, the work is to let go. I will cry and be sad when he leaves this world. He will always be the man who gave me life. For that I am thankful. It doesn't mean I have to pretend- that is so literally sickening.

[@sharroberts9083]

The guy who called himself a kid and then realized he is actually a grown man, is the root of this whole problem. These kids claim to be adults, but they still perceive themselves as kids on the inside for whatever happened when they were a child. You want to be an adult, but don't want the adult responsibilities. If your parents did all they could to the best of their abilities, with what they had to work with, and then when that kid gets grown and wants to separate from them completely, go ahead. You want your parent to respect you, but where is your respect toward the people who brought you into the world.

[@karyn552003]

So she is 30 and still on mommys phone plan? She goes no contact with her parents, now her whole family wants nothing to do with her? Maybe time to look in the mirror and own your shit.

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

I'm watching this one right now and as she's going down the list of her family that she is NC with when the rest have active relationships with each other, I just keep thinking she needed to listen to herself and ask. "Am I the baddie?"

[@user-qb8qm4mp5n]

For real.

[@sxybrn79]

I've been no-contact with my baby boomer mother for 3 yrs. I still love her very much. All of this is due to her mental illness and her being in a cult. This has made her into a very toxic human. I chose myself and my sanity. Through therapy I have found a sense of peace. I know there is not chance for a reconciliation. She doesn't reach out to me (plus, I've blocked her) When she eventually will pass, I will go to her funeral if I am invited from the rest of my family.

[@nicoobrowner]

What cult was she in? I ask this because religion is about perspective. Sometimes other people's beliefs are perceived to be cults by others.

[@saramatthews7159]

I'm also no-contact with my Boomer mother and when she passes, I might go to the funeral if invited.

[@sxybrn79]

@nicoobrowner59 She is a Jehovahs witness so is alot of my mother's side of the family. I view them as a cult. I grew up in it so I saw it from the inside. I left them 20 yrs ago.

[@kameshiam1674]

My mom would run me down all the time. I wasnt allowed to have feelings and when I did good, she still found a way to run me down. When i asked her why she did this, she said I will treat you the way I want to treat you. No she can't.

[@zero1188]

Nah they care. Their ego is tied to how their kids look to brag for their friends

[@MonicaMontgomery_]

Exactly.

[@downbad2874]

False 😂

[@TheOriginalScorpioBelle]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 this is the arrogant and narcissistic mindset of children. We do not talk about y’all like you imagine. We actually have lives outside of our children.

[@Apricot90]

@@TheOriginalScorpioBelle Sure, honey, sure.

[@jemmac4664]

The lovely lady with the dreadlocks was really speaking the truth on both sides. The Black gentleman/therapist after her was really good, too! I can't stand when people speak in absolutes. Every situation should be assessed because each is unique. There are many societal and familial dynamics which are part of how we have arrived to this "No Contact" thing. The generational differences also play a big part. Absolutely there are times when the child is fully justified. There are also times when young people hit adulthood and are "gobsmacked" by the reality they didn't see coming and they are looking for someone to blame and parents are an easy target. I'm a Gen-Xer with four children. I am very close to my children, whoever recently, I have one who's gone "No Contact". I pray for that child without ceasing. I also pray that the day comes when we can reconcile. It's complicated. It's heartbreaking.

[@hmmm2564]

You sound just as narcissistic as the dreadlocks lady

[@hmmm2564]

You sound just as narcissistic as the dreadlocks lady

[@reginayfavors]

I have been estranged from my mother since 2013, and we do not speak or converse or do anything. It is for the best. I would get anxiety if she wanted to open up communications because she is a provoker, and she has provoked me all my life from childhood to adulthood. I don't need that kind of stress. I'm glad, assumedly, that she doesn't want to communicate. That way I don't get a heart attack, check into a mental facility, or go to jail.

[@Jae-by3hf]

Whew I felt this!!!

[@reginayfavors]

@@Jae-by3hf Never stay with folks who provoke you. I don't care who they are. They will set you up.

[@QueenSnowPea]

I'm a boomer who pretty much went no contact with my Gen X daughter because of her toxicity. But I miss her but can't deal with it. But if she needs me for anything she knows I'm there for her.

[@southernbelle2192]

The woman who went no contact with family and grandmother might be the toxic one. Your family might feel relieved. Your parents and siblings being of one accord might be a clue.

[@HTownstylist253]

Right out of everybody she seemed like the hot mess that made bad decisions and her family was just over it

[@kevinc8955]

Yeah how do you cut out literally everyone? My dad was a raging alcoholic growing up, and it made me and my sister closer for it. “Everyone” is rarely the problem.

[@saradejesus8313]

My father is a narcissist and my mother is his enabler. She’s not cold and unfeeling and self centered like he is, but she never stood up to him to protect us. Anyway, I sent her my no contact letter because i thought she WOULD care I was cutting contact. I think she may genuinely care, but I also think her identity is so tied up in “being loved” (she sees it as love) by my father that she can’t give that up, no matter the cost.

[@TheWorldsNo1Superstar]

Ok so We went with NO contact, The parents don't care. Do we? No, Stay away, Freedom is sweet for everyone involved.

[@virallcullture8585]

Many of them are not bothered ...because they KNOW they are wrong .. Even if they won't admit... They just want the kid to just shut up about it and make them look good in front of others. Most who's parent continue to try to weasel their way in after or guilt the kid WISHES the parent would respect their wishes.... Not wondering why aren't they chasing me, those kids are different and go no contact to punish for attention, to be chased and have the parent beg for them back, like that guy said.

[@mjspyt7777]

I have emotional immature and narcissistic parents that I've realized never should've been parents. My mother never knew her father and was abandoned by her mother as a child so yeah she hated when I was emotional and jealous any time I got attention. My father hid his past from us but would explode at any slight inconvenience so it we walked on pins and needles around the house. When I went through some trauma at the hands of a family friend my father blamed me and my mother ignored the conversation. Not even a sorry, hug, nothing. I tried talking to them and giving them a second chance, but it didn't work. Stopped talking to him in 2016 and stopped talking to her in 2023 after my grandmother died. Some people aren't just meant to be parents.

[@dwanacoulter604]

I agree 100% with the second lady! Sometimes the kids are TERRIBLE and always were as a child and growing up into a teenager and into adulthood. SOME OF YALL WERE HORRIBLE!!! I’m right at the end of GenX and the beginning of Millennium 1980. Sometimes it’s the adult kids who are the problem!!!

[@kejean12]

I think people in every generation can have issues with their parents. It has nothing to do with a specific "generation" and "no contact" is not a new phenomenon. Plenty of people from ALL generations have cut toxic parents (and kids) out of their lives. If you had or have good parents you'll usually have a good adult relationship. I'm a GenX and I wouldn't say I'm no contact but I limit my interactions with my dad because he's just not a good person. My mom died when I was 14 and she and I also had a very tumultuous relationship. What I won't do is go on social media ripping them apart for clicks, likes and validation. I keep my dad at a distance and that works for us. Therapy is a great tool if you have willing parents. The licensed man at 5:15 hit the nail on the head.

[@dawnelder9046]

You said you were 14 when your mother died. No 14 year old girl likes her mother. It is actually part of the growing up process. You need to go threw that stage, just like you need to go threw the terrible twos. Hard on mom, who has no idea why her sweet little girl hates her. Especially hard with the first daughter when you have no idea why. There was a study done on teenagers asking them to judge a person's emotions based on photos. Their answers were compared to adults. Adults saw a wide range of emotions from, tired, worried, stressed, distracted, sad, happy, puzzled, etc. Teenagers either saw happy or angry. Mostly angry. I wish I knew this when my teens were young. Young teen stage does not last for ever. One day they grow up. My youngest, while feeding her first baby, suddenly looked over at me and said, "If she ever pulls the BS, I pulled on you, I am going to kill her." I laughed. She realized just how difficult she had been.. If your mother was alive there is every chance you would be fast friends now. This represents worse case issues. Most people get along with their parents as they age. These are the exceptions. But there has always been bad, unloving parents and horrible,spoiled children. I have known people who cut contact with their parents and parents who cut contact with their children. Sometimes, for your own sanity, you half to. Non of those people made the decision lightly. The person asking the question at the beginning actually comes across as manipulative. And I am guessing her parents are simply old and tired and just can not deal with her anymore. So, not getting her way she goes online trying to throw a guilt trip.

[@soppres7406]

Parents have existed without children; Children have never existed without their parents. So, to assume your parents will be slighted by your absence is an unrealistic expectations. It gives main character for those who do this as a means to punish their parents vs a necessity due to parental neglect, malice or A-buse.

[@dianedeck]

Spoiled brats and the parents think we spoiled you we tried to give you everything and you think I am just supposed to do anything you want. They created a monster. Now they are finally tired of it. My sister is going through this now. She is diagnosed with cancer. She needs her Twentty one year old daughter who still lives at home to step up and help around the house. She doesnt. Why would she? Shes never had to before. Spoiled ungrateful brats.

[@jakeh9338]

I do think there is definitely an element of that. I'm tail end Gen X / Xennial (born in 80) and while my only child is a stepdaughter, I've watched several of the people my age become helicopter parents because of our generation being latch-key kids and overcompensating. IMO it's resulted in now young adults who rightfully want the independence of adulthood, but have the warped notion of "You did everything for/with me as a child, so when you tell me to deal with it on my own (because they are an adult) that means you don't love me anymore."

[@anonymous101-sb1bf]

Most adults go no contact and tell no one because its definitely after repeated pleas for addressing the issue which is typically abuse. Dont group those adults with young adult and teen children that go no contact because they couldn't get an xbox or date who they wanted. Its a big difference.

[@LisaApril]

When children go no contact the parents must respect that and leave them alone. No reaching out, nothing. I'm pretty sure all parents regardless of generation are hurt when their adult children no longer have relationships with their parents.

[@glassmade101]

For me personally, i tried to have a one on one with my father. but, thanks to my stepmom being a spiteful person she kept interjecting and interrupting and my father just has the tendency to go along with whatever she wants.

[@UnsortedSeeds]

I'm a millennial that went no contact with my boomer sperm donor. He and I my mother divorced when I was around 5, and I they shared custody of me. He made it fairly clear to me that he wanted me to be a boy and that my not being white made me even more inferior. He sexualized me as I grew, and he would race people on the freeway with me in the car. The very last straw was when I was a teenager, and he told me he expected me to drop out of school pregnant. I cut contact with him, and I haven't looked back but for my sweet grandma that I also lost when I did. I never want to even be in the same building as him, and I already knows he never cared because he only wanted shared custody to avoid paying a lot of child support (which he really didn't anyway) and to hurt my mom by hurting me.

[@Carpathianpixie]

Oh my God! I am so terribly sorry! 🥺

[@corlenajames1381]

😢💔

[@cnbri30]

I’m no contact with both parents, and have been to stop the pain. My mother just wants to fight and argue with me even though I’ve had zero interaction with her, and my father plays favorites and gaslights me saying “he loves all his daughters the same”. I got tired of defending myself and/or begging for a relationship. I wish I had their support but I will never beg for it. I don’t need $$, a babysitter (my kid is 16), a place to stay, etc. I wanted phone calls, conversation, understanding, visits. But here we are.

[@phyliciataylor7226]

I mean..... are we ready to talk about how many of the adults stress their parents out and always have an issue with them. At a point, why reach out just for them to make your life miserable. Some people are bad kids but some reason we only talk about bad parents.