Narcissism And Shallow Superficial Relationships | DIANA DIAMOND

[@nathankoehler2143]

Also would like to add these are still the best videos online regarding bpd and npd by far.

[@Nobody-Nowhere]

No wonder, you literally have people who defined the diagnoses, formed treatments. Actual real specialists and true professionals. A little bit different that tarot card reading youtubers calling narcissist demons and themselves as uber empaths.

[@0skodaoctavia0]

And I am so grateful for them

[@narcme1742]

They are very good. But so are Sam Vaknin and HG Tudor.

[@georgegeysen6499]

Agreed. Really enjoy the work of Dr. Yeomans and Dr. Diamond. Learning a ton. I am a psychologist and have a familiarity with NPD and BPD, but the breadth of knowledge and the interpersonal dynamics as are discussed is really unparalleled.

[@Studentoftheiniverse]

@@narcme1742 Sam Vaknin is especially interested since he is diagnosed with NPD

[@niteshj_]

Ouch, that hurts. Time distortion, development delay

[@JT-up3tb]

Isn’t that odd

[@Deelitee]

It’s so descriptive and gives words to the fog I always feel around them. Aghhh.

[@nathankoehler2143]

How does one become gratified in relationships would be a great video. Its not easy hearing the negatives without the hope.

[@SA-ww1ge]

Great Ques. Its an inside job. no one can gratify us like world wants us to think. A great deal of acceptance, humor & Nonattachment to this impermanent existence. Accepting what is rather than trying to make it what we want. Your questions will guide you to your answers, never stop listening with your heart. Anger at this place is a distraction from our real work. peace

[@charchar7897]

Not sure there's hope. Narcissism is a disorder, you've gotta love yourself enough to move on from the relationship with them.

[@nathankoehler2143]

@@charchar7897 unfortunately I'm the disordered one

[@charchar7897]

@@nathankoehler2143 Ok. We're you abused as a child or suffered trauma? Seems like that would be the place to start, since that's what caused it.

[@TempermentalTart]

By seeking contentment over novelty. By casting away fear and replacing it with wholeness, peace and agape love. By recognizing that you need a higher power. It takes a daily commitment to renew the mind. Meditating, reading...thinking differently. Retraining the subconscious, deleting the old programming replacing it with the "mind of christ". Consider it the ultimate challenge! When the world says you can't (you're stuck, fixed, will never change). All things are possible with God. It's a submission to the highest power in the universe so that He can elevate you. Not done within our own power or might...but by his spirit. He gives grace to the humble and opposes the proud.

[@estellesstories7467]

Diana’s videos are insightful and helpful. Thanks for making this content available!

[@mimi42428]

1:14 Very true. It has now become clear to me that my ex only wanted to get married because his siblings were doing that and settling down and getting alot of attention for it so he started to look for marriage as well. Not because he wanted it but because it would give him narcissistic supply

[@MegaCardigans]

This defines me.I had exactly same troubled childhood experiences.I have npd with some bpd traits Now I am in my early fifties.I have a family and kids .Now I am having many family issues .I am not satlsfied wlth my wlfe and kids.I see them insufficent ,dependent and clingy . I have many controlling behaviours on them Because in my mine sick mlnd.They cant handle anyhthing rlghI . Recently I am seeing a theraplst for six months.In the first session of the therapy I openly told my therapist that I have npd with some bpd traits.She told me that most therapists work with schemas.They dont label or stigmatize any patients with any disorders.Instead They aim at their patients childhood experlences , traumas and adolesecent period.Therapist said that unseen part of iceberg lays down in that period.My siblings got married at an earlier.ages and got a lot of attention . Actually I never wanted to get married .I needed narcisstic supply.so I decided to get married . In the past I had short term shallow,troubled relations with multiple partners.Promcious unprotected sex and porn addictiom.Although I had a very wealthy family My desire or dream was to be porn actor.So I could have a lot of partners.Maybe hundreds of them.Those were my libidinal investment in sex.I think It has roots from my childhood experiences. Later In my adulthood .Subconsciously For me Life was a pc game and people around me are just toys to play.When I got bored.I just dumped them and find the new ones or sometimes prefer to put some of them in a box for later use.I had to spare some of them.Did those things I said ring any bells in your mind ? Narcisstic victims complaints and terms ( no contact,grey rock ,hoovering,gaslighting,betrayals,ghosting ,manipulation, jealousy,rage) We treat you with our childish ways.For your mental and physical wellness.Stay away from us. We are terminators .We play wih toys like a spoiled child and whenever bored ,we destruct some of them into pieces or prefer to spare some of them for later use.Dont be a toy for narcissist..

[@amandac3658]

This describes the narcissist I know perfectly. At the last part, but what would convince a narcissist to choose the former option and give up the latter?

[@charchar7897]

The need of the narcissist. Whatever need is important to them, be it status, finances, etc, that will aid them in their choice. If it makes them look good, that's the choice they will make.

[@ssellers1870]

I would never pick a favorite on here.....but Diana is in the running.

[@elessar0009]

Great great content. Thank you

[@PuntedKitten]

Well, this describes someone I know very well. Wow.

[@accordionSWE]

The person suffering from NPD gets stale and tiresome. Other people can not stand them. With experience it also becomes easier to predict the behavior and how that will end and after that what will follow. It goes on and on.

[@graemesutton2919]

from my limited experience of NPD, when you know them from a distance they mask so much you think they are in depth and deep and knowledgeable. When you get close to them you see through the mask and see that they are facade with no depth behind it. A fraud. Yet they don''t seem to get you know. I made the mistake to try and help them and got treated like a piece of sh@t because of it. The compulsive lies, gaslighting etc was unbelievable. At the time I did not know they had NPD. It was only through post analysis with a clinical psychologist that it was pointed out to me. Before then I thought NPD was just a term to describe an ex you did not like....

[@jessicaj8148]

This was a very interesting video which I’m going to save. This sounds like my husband. But we’ve been married 26 years. However for the first 18 years he was always busy with work and we barely knew each other. After that first 18 years his work slowed down and we had more time to spend together. That’s when I started to notice that he’s not capable or willing to get beyond surface level. I think he had kids with me as a way to keep me distracted and happy so he wouldn’t have to go deeper. He’s probably not a full blown narcissist. He did however suffer a traumatic childhood up until he was 18. Lots of violence and chaos in his home. So I often wonder if he does have a personality disorder as a result of this or if he just has very strong coping mechanisms that don’t allow him to get deeper in our marriage. If it’s not surface level he wants no part in any of it. He’s a good provider and a great roommate. However he’s been known to have an anger issue used to probably hide anxiety. The kids pick up on it. There’s also a lack of affection on his part. He’d rather check off chore/task boxes than develop and maintain deep and meaningful relationships. He doesn’t have a lot of friends either. He will meet old work friends (including females alone) for lunch. But all of his friends are divorced and on second and third marriages (including the females) so I’m wondering if they all had the same lack of deep emotional and physical intimacy with their exes.

[@k.s783]

Curios why the phenomenon of time distortion happens? What’s the gain for a narcissist and what’s the deeper source of the tendency to distort time? I find it interesting as it’s something that I’ve observed many times and I’ve been trying to work out what it’s about. The time distortion is a very distinguishable feature of a narcissist and it’s surprising that it’s not discussed more often as it’s a part of narcissism that is more concrete and “easy” to identify.

[@FRANCESCORE1982]

Yes, and you arrive to a point where the new girl is just an other girl. And I hate that feeling. I used to feel so much when I was a kid. I used to fall in love as a teenager, and now I can't feel anything. How can I fix this??? I don't want to give up on loving someone and be loved.

[@PuntedKitten]

Sam Vaknin and others consider narcissism spectrum stuff to be basically CPTSD. Basically we were emotionally neglected and/or traumatized very young which made our attachment to your caregiver(s) very insecure. The grandiose false self can be created to protect the true self. It can get murky if the person is unable to be grandiose and instead becomes "echoist", or a combination of both strategies.

[@FRANCESCORE1982]

@@Atbay8 well, i guess that it comes from my mother being hyper critical about everything. So nothing and nobody has ever been good enough in my childhood, even me. And I started to believe that nobody was good enough for me, as a defense mechanism...I could not stand imperfections. I have to say that with the time, I started to be more flexible with this aspect, and accept mine and others imperfections, but I always arrive to a breaking point that make me leave my partner after a while (usually 3 months), and this unsatisfaction leads me to cheat as well. It´s not that I don´t want to accept responsability for my acts, but I think it comes from being emotionally insecure due to the luck of unconditional love I felt as a kid. I´m working on it. I´m more clear in my relationships now, and I only keep going out with someone after explaining how messed up I am and that they should not expect much from me on an emotional level. This is the only way I found that let me connect a bit more with someone else

[@JeffreyGillespie]

She just described me PERFECTLY 😬

[@SayinXJW]

Question, I was diagnosised with bpd. I go from relationship to relationship and she was talking about surrounding self with new people all the time... I do this but I did have a 16 year relationship with a few people that just ended. Why do bpd move from one to the other, and the differences from npd?

[@narcme1742]

I like her, and this is interesting, but it also feels very normative...

[@bradmcewen]

Fuel. That which to aquire. That which to burn.

[@Andypandieful]

Fuel hunters.

[@Star-dj1kw]

Interesting video

[@lexbraxman9270]

She’s my favorite

[@bluest1524]

Why are narcissists often good looking and able to attract many partners? I guess it suggests good looks feed narcissism in the individual in their developmental years.

[@lamentate07]

For people with narcissistic traits, yes, but not for the people with the actual disorder.

[@ST-yc7uj]

Only the somatic narcs.

[@ethiopiazoldyk4667]

@@ST-yc7uj what's a somatic?

[@ST-yc7uj]

@@ethiopiazoldyk4667 a somatic type of narcisst. Look up videos on KZbin

[@ethiopiazoldyk4667]

@@ST-yc7uj ok. Thanks for the reply. I will look up on it ☺️🙌

[@angelacasein7059]

Well the reason is bc they’re so shallow and immature they literally get lodged into absurd superficial type assessments then they wonder why the rest of feeling humanity has “moved on” and they haven’t ?

[@johnrainsman6650]

My blind date called me a superficial thinker who ignorantly labeled people. The nerve of that woman.

[@lightgivener]

she was probably right from what you said here.

[@johnrainsman6650]

@@lightgivenerWhat did I say?

[@jakebastian6726]

Well, what did you say to your date to make her say you were superficial? What's the context?

[@Jess-kn8vl]

Facebook

[@ChrisKadaver]

This should be at least 30 minutes... not 3?!

[@How.Dare.You.]

"Attractiving women or whatever" loll

[@marysmith801]

Why does Dr. Diamond always have a pile of papers on her lap?

[@ST-yc7uj]

The 'successful' Tate

[@analozada9475]

🙌🔥💯👏

[@leojablonski2309]

Here we go,again, using guys as examples.

[@JT-up3tb]

No need to get insecure, it’s more common to point out for males as we biologically and evolutionary speaking, just don’t have the same sexual autonomy of choice, as women do. So it’s much easier to spot out because NPD like behaviors are more psychological leverages and not physical leverages like it typically is for attractive women. All stereotypes aside, it can happen with anyone, at anytime.

[@everythingispolitics6526]

This is some BS 🤣. What does someone's attractiveness have to do with narcissism? 🤣

[@fatyowls]

Superficial narcissism.

[@narcme1742]

I like her, and this is interesting, but it also feels very normative...

[@offensivediscourse8514]

What do you mean?

[@narcme1742]

@@offensivediscourse8514 nor·ma·tive /ˈnôrmədiv/ adjective FORMAL adjective: normative establishing, relating to, or deriving from a standard or norm, especially of behavior. "negative sanctions to enforce normative behavior"

[@offensivediscourse8514]

@@narcme1742 thank you Im so used to normative being used in the 'cis-hetero normative' style that it gets my back up

[@narcme1742]

@@offensivediscourse8514 those activists are using the word with the same underlying meaning, just in a different context What I meant is that she seems to have a very normative idea of how human life is supposed to unfold, and that deviations from that presupposed standard, or norm, are in some way problematic, substandard, deficient, etc. Certain people seem to have a very normative way of thinking, while others do not I am one of those who does not So it raises my hackles when I hear someone engaging in that sort of thinking, and passing it off as if it's objective, when it's actually not My usage had nothing to do with the political sentiments you mentioned, of which I am also not particularly fond

[@offensivediscourse8514]

@@narcme1742 yeah i was just fishing/trolling with my first comment. Thank you for answering like a kind caring human being. I'll see you in the re-education camps in a fee years :)