Crazy Things Kindergarteners Tell Their Teachers (Part 4)

[@colletteseders2874]

I have a kindergarten story. We taped a roll of wide paper to a door in our classroom, so we could measure the students. We used a different colour for September, January, and June, so they could see how much they grew. Of course, the teachers all were measured, too. Most of my co-workers were 5’4” or taller, but I am only 4’11”. One little boy had his mom come into the room, and he called her to the door, to see how much he had grown. Then he looked up at the teacher marks. He said to his mother, “Look Mom. Mrs. Seders is too tall to be a kid, and too short to be a grown up. What is she?” I never laughed so hard. I remember that day, even 20+ years later.

[@wandamarsh5861]

After I retired from teaching, they asked a few of us to come back and help with one on one testing in Kindergarten. One little boy and I were talking and working through the test when he laughed, quickly covered his mouth, and told me seriously, "That was my evil laugh." He then quickly covered his mouth again. It took all I had not to crack up laughing. 😂😂😂

[@SharonHutchins-ve1cx]

My husband and I decided it was a great idea to say my son was 3 years old so he would get the 3 and under discount. Our 5 year old was so helpful when she enthusiastically blurted out, “No, Momma remember he turned 4 the other day, We had cake and everything! We shoulda bought her a piece too!” The kind lady laughed and said, “You get a discount just because she wanted you to bring me a piece of cake too!”

[@sirineuantonio1622]

😂😂😂😂👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@MerlynnWierzbicki]

I had a kindergarten student who told me that her older brother was born in Minnesota and she was born in The United States 🤷🏻‍♀️😂 Gotta love them ❤

[@blugreen123]

The first one is cute. Little ones are so literal. 😂

[@SmartMoufShirts]

When my wife was running a small, in-home day care for pre schoolers, one of them was a little man, who had unprecidented diction and pronunciation for a three year-old. Every word he said was precise. So, when he asked my wife during diaper time if she was going to taste him now, she asked for him to repeat it. He said, "Are you taste my diaper now?" Needless to say, she and I had a discussion about what goes on at that boy's home, and how to best approch the comment with his single mom, when she picked him up that night. It was a nerve-wracking time the rest of the day. When mom came in, all cheery and bright, she carried on talking with her boy, who was thrilled to see her. My wife lead him through a conversation about diaper time, and told him to explain what she had done to his mom. He turned and confidently said, "...then she taste my diaper!" His mom gently took his little man face in her tender hands, drew his focus to her face, and said, "Change". She turned to my wife and said, "We're still working on a few sounds, but I think he's doing pretty good for three." We looked at each other and then my wife said, "Yes. He's doing great. I don't know any other threes who speak as well as he does."

[@ls-kk4pq]

I love this channel so much! Retired teacher here, and these stories never ever ever ever ever ever get old.

[@kathypomeroy6179]

I have a Kinder who told me unicorns ARE real...asked her how she knew that? She said it's because Santa told her so 😅😅

[@marcialivingston-nq8xk]

Teacher aide here...had a baby look at me and say.....wow you are old. I was 27.

[@annalikens3564]

I use to work in Childcare as Floater aide/Prn … One day I was helped serve breakfast, some of the preschoolers were arguing whose dad was the oldest, than out of nowhere, one of the boys yelled out…” my dad is older than your dad, my dad is 34!”

[@Klgrey6341]

The first one was clever 😂

[@crackediB]

Day care was the same way! My fav was mommy and daddy work out in the shower together! Took everything not to crack up, but she was so serious i almost didn't make it!

[@HollyWaldrop]

I LOVE these!! I'm so glad you're a teacher, because I'd never survive it.

[@mommalion7028]

I am terrified of what my kid tells his teacher. XD I don't do anything really bad but my kid knows all my most embarrassing secrets and has a speech impediment.

[@happycook6737]

Earlier this week we had a speech impediment kiddo tell us, "I love Mommy's titty!" Wellllll we adults nearly passed out trying to NOT laugh aloud. Luckily the mom had told us at drop off she got a new KITTY! This kiddo subs /t/ for /k/! He had other subs too but this was the one that killed us today.

[@koololdster]

Mom and Dad need their ‘wrestling’ time. Otherwise there will be no new sibling!

[@TheQuietSoul2]

😅

[@widowgirl1254]

😂

[@dorismidge8762]

Where do we submit these little gems? Because in my 22 years of teaching kindergarten kiddos, I have got A LOT. I mean, A LOT!😂😂😂

[@MichelleJones-p4e]

You should write a book! (Change all names, of course!) 😁

[@megnakamura7652]

We had “bring your favorite stuffy to school” one day. At rug time I told the children that we would sing our hello song and then they could introduce their stuffed animal. One student blurted out “mine already knows me “.😂

[@lucy-louthebeagle4511]

I'm way to drunk for this video 😂😂😂😂😂 I love the kindergarten stories 😂😂😂 they are way too literal

[@ourv9603]

Out back of our house I cant get grass to grow, just weeds. No matter what I do all that will grow out there is weeds. The teacher asked my little guy what his daddy do & he said 'Oh, he grows weed' !

[@letitiahunt4633]

I Love her!! Thank you for making me scream!!

[@janmcwilliams5998]

Kids are HILARIOUS

[@wandamontgomery6030]

Lol I teach 4 and 5 yr old kids in Sunday school and the things they will say.

[@sarahsvoboda8481]

The facial cosmetic treatment too the parents doing weekend hankie panky 😂😂😂😂. I work for Walmart and I thought I saw everything NO teachers see and hear EVERYTHING 😆

[@CatahoulaBlue-nq2ri]

My Dad is getting out of jail today! He robbed a gas station and got in trouble.

[@monikagangwer4274]

ME: Ok no more cheese-touch! Cheese-touch is absolutely forbidden. STUDENT: who’s bidden?

[@rosewalsh1255]

Ok so I got in trouble in kindergarten cause I told a classmate their "sculpture" looked like a turd...I mean what was I supposed to think- they even painted it brown :)

[@gingergirl8797]

LMBO, cause my son is grown and I don't deal with this...anymore. Thank you

[@yeesh9215]

Told my 4 yr old daughter that there would be rules when you start preschool. If your naughty, the teacher might have you sit on a chair in the corner. She thought a moment and said, "What if all the kids are naughty?"

[@kimweaver1899]

I was thinking of making a list of the things my Sunday school kindergartners have said. One asked me how old I was. When I told him that I was 62 his eyes got huge and he yelled 62?? When a sibling told him that he was being rude he yelled “ but she is 62 and still alive!!”

[@melissasullivan1378]

One time last year I was helping out with Sunday School, and one of the kids said that one of the other ladies was 120 in Bible years

[@jst2708]

I had a friend who told his teacher his sister got ate by a bear. His exact words She believed & told his mother how sorry she was about it. The mother told the teacher she has 2 kids & both are boys. She's never had a girl 😅

[@shellywerner4509]

Love your laugh!

[@leward7788]

loved the 1st one. i was never a teacher but i drove long school bus routes (off/on 40 years), was a one day a week lunch lady (well, cook & all, small school). worked at sleep away summer camps. had two of my own. i love kids, they're hilarious. but when i hear about stories. it seems like kids aren't taking the bus to school. complaints about long lines & dads on the johns, etc. Why? have school buses gone out of favor?

[@elizabethpiccolo5534]

That’s a good question! I spend time with my son and granddaughter, we pick her up from school and every day it’s about a 20 minute wait. No idea why so many parents opt for this.

[@leward7788]

@@elizabethpiccolo5534 gas prices alone! but yes, a school bus is built - even the seats are designed - for optimal safety. they have the lights, special traffic laws ( even an ambulance would have to stop altho as a driver, i'd wait for that to pass before activating the lights/letting the kids out) and you have special licenses etc. I don't get it.

[@angelasaunders3558]

Ahh children 😂😂😂

[@munimathbypeterfelton6251]

Just out of curiosity: when is that vocabulary homework assignment due? 😂

[@melissamary76]

My kids dad used to poop for half an hour!! Stepdad takes 5 minutes lol

[@michelleford7392]

You’re hilarious!!❤❤

[@melissacooper8724]

I concur that men do take too long in the bathroom!

[@TLTaijeron]

You are bucking bunny!

[@beebee4628]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@michellerindal8836]

🤣🤣🤣😂😂

[@RuthParsil]

😅😅😅😊😊❤😂😂😂😂😂

[@pamelakaliher5716]

Out of the mouths of babes! LOL

[@emilycrawley320]

joke #1 🤣🤣

[@lennybuttz2162]

Why do teachers need an absence excuse? Especially in Kindergarten. What do you do with those excuses? I'm guessing you don't have a file for all of them?