Boyfriend or Girlfriend Wants Space: 5 things you MUST DO! [NOW]

[@hitemhard07]

My girlfriend of 4yrs who I live with told me about a month ago that, "she needed some space to figure things out for herself". We have been going through some financial issue's due to health issue's on both sides which has caused alot of stress. I tried to get a understanding of what it was she was looking for and if there was anything that I could to help but she would just say, "no" or the famous," I'm fine". Which I know isn't true. Since then she has moved to her mother's and in that time it brought up alot of past trauma from my childhood and past relationships leading me to not act myself. Meaning I broke no contact a few times. Everytime I have talked to her she gets mad and before I leave she makes a comment like we can talk when I get home. This only started happening when her family started to comeback around/ I asked for alittle bit more alone time with her without others. I don't know what to think. I want to be respectful but I can't shutoff my brain from wanting to talk to her.

[@rejinyahel2170]

I am hearing this everyday to motivate myself otherwise I will break the know contact between me and my girlfriend

[@tiagreer8027]

I live with mine!!! It's so hard. We're both co-dependant and trying to give distance is hard

[@fashionpolice141]

So my situation has a lot of factors and I truly believe we are soulmates. My boyfriend is military and we're long distance (have been for 2 years) and he just returned from deployment in January...he broke the news to me a month or two ago about re-enlisting due to his new boss and I reacted in not a positive way. We had planned a life together and for him to move to me next march when his contract was up. So one weekend he asked for some space (it was just 5 days over the weekend) to think everything through and once those 5 days were up he said he would rather lose the military than lose me. July rolls around and he asked for a month long break because he needs to find himself again because he doesn't know who he is anymore. He said he isn't happy doing the things that once made him happy and I know from his previous deployment that he has a rough time re-integrating. We set boundaries and although he hasn't reached out to talk to me (he said he would tell me he's fine and thats pretty much it) he left saying that he wants to be with me (i asked if his goal was to break up with me and if so then to do it now) and that he loves me but we need time apart to find ourselves and be the best we can be for each other. So the month of July is coming to an end and I have never cried more in my entire life than this month, the doubt has crept in, I feel extremely vulnerable and insecure even with what he promised me and told me. I'm more of a communicator and he shuts down really easily. Therefore, I'm extremely terrified that he chickened out about breaking up with me and that after this month the sadness and depression with legit be a restart. I guess I just needed to tell a blip of my story and receive advice...we are each others first and only loves. We've only said I love you to each other and I'm just hoping his words were honest. Do guys chicken out and say things just to say them during a time like this? Because I feel like if someone wants to break up they just do it. Help lol

[@KristinCoaching]

Hi Emily. I'm so sorry you're going through it right now. I know the feeling too well, and it's such an awful state of worry to be in. I think he's feeling ambivalent about all of it right now. I think he was honest about his intentions, AND I think he's also confused and most likely is going back and forth in his mind about what he wants. I can see how much you love and care for him, and want to be with him. And I hope he ends up choosing your relationship too. Although this is super hard, it's important to keep in mind that this is something completely out of your control. We can't force anyone to be with us if they don't want to (for whatever reasons they have). It's all about learning to let go and trust the process that everything works out in it's own time. You are doing an amazing job being open and honest and talking about your feelings, so keep doing that. And let's hope he makes the decision to make your relationship the priority. In the mean time, keep taking care of YOU. Do lots of self-care and do activities that make you feel good and happy because that's soooooo important when you're experiencing relationship struggles like this. I truly wish you the best and pllleeease keep me updated on the how things pan out. You take care.

[@elenim5746]

What do you do if your significant other says he'll be back soon and that it won't be too long? He hasn't set a time limit. Thank you for this video it gave me a lot to think about during my break.

[@KristinCoaching]

You are very welcome!! I would maybe give it a couple weeks, and then if you don't hear anything by then, reach out and set a time limit. Be respectful of his need for time if he still needs it.

[@omarsoloriodeleon6333]

Thank you

[@missymaira1806]

My signo can’t other started this path 20 days ago. We both have this emotional attachment and mine started right after his infidelity, i became toxic clingy and obsessed with finding another potential cheats. We’ve been arguing the last three months and he asked for the break idk how long it takes. He says he is burnout and our argues didn’t let him meet the expectations of his demanding job, he also says he loves me so much and everything reminds him of me. I broke up with him four days ago. Saying I can’t wait without knowing anything as time frame etc.And he said he cant have a relationship now but He really loves me. I’m honestly worried if he is coming back or not and even more worried if he is going to be able to realised about his behaviour in this separation time? I’m realising how toxic I was everyday and I’m detaching from those nasty behaviours and working in my self steem.

[@justme-so2en]

My grandma died the day she wanted space , we said things and we broke up and now a week later she is talking and wants to be friends but still wants space but she also talks like there might be another . I’m giving her her space I’ve said what I needed to say and I’m working on myself but I know there’s someone else what should I do ... is she basically friend zoning me and being just a friend that she’s dated ... we we’re together for three years and she’s always been honest and open with me and there has been thoughts of a man who’s the baby’s daddy but she never cheated and I believe and trust her on that I’m just so confused on what to do

[@ashleyelcock388]

Where’s the next video at 🧐 need my weekly advice 😜💕

[@KristinCoaching]

Hey Ashley!! I am sooooo sorry it took me over a week to post! I had some technical difficulties with the video but I am back on track! :) new video came out today, yay! Thank you for being so loyal! :)

[@ashleyelcock388]

Kristin Coaching ❤️ always

[@ruthc184]

Very good advice. I'm there now and I'm suffering a lot..

[@KristinCoaching]

I'm so sorry to hear that and I hope this video helped you.

[@ruthc184]

@@KristinCoaching wow! Thanks for the reply! Nobody has ever answered to any of my comments. I'm happy you both could sort out your problems and be together. Can I ask you how you managed the feeling of uncertainty?

[@KristinCoaching]

You're very welcome, I try to reply to every comment I get as I want to be of help. It was definitely a very difficult time in our relationship. I spent a lot of time distracting myself with self-care. spending time with people who love me and did things that were healthy for my soul. I still felt scared and nervous when I thought about my relationship, but the more I took care of me, I felt better at the same time. It's hard to explain, but that's why I am such a huge advocate of self-care.

[@ruthc184]

@@KristinCoaching I understand. I'm nervous and afraid all the time. I'm not used to his silence and it is killing me, but I will follow your advice, as there is nothing else I can do. Anyway, your videos have given me some hope.

[@KristinCoaching]

I'm very happy to hear that, and I wish you the best. You will get through this.

[@MikeMethot256]

I'm currently going through this but we have no time limit set for the break so im really confused I've only reached out to her twice since the break to check in but it's definitely causing anxiety for me not knowing how much time she needs. We never argue but she was having a hard time with the fact I haven't been open to meeting her friends and family, I basically stayed in my comfort zone because I have social anxiety and I regret not making that leap because now I realize how important that was and sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone in order to progress. What should I do in this case?

[@josephmischel5292]

Hey I’m going through this right now. Any advice? How did it turn out?

[@Chris-oz4gl]

I’m going to the same thing right now, no time frame basically. In your head give her 45 days to make up her mind if she doesn’t reach back within that time text her that she needs to make a decision based in how she feels right now to stay together, no more time no more extensions, basically you are applying the no contact rule to see if she miss you. If you don’t do anything she might just ghosh you which will destroy your confidence for any future relationships

[@andresferreiracastillo4741]

@@Chris-oz4gl What happen in the end??

[@Chris-oz4gl]

@@andresferreiracastillo4741 She left and I got someone better and so far we are aligned with what we want in the future

[@Chris-oz4gl]

@@josephmischel5292 She left and I got someone better and so far we are aligned with what we want for the future

[@andrewrodriguez7727]

What if I was the cause of the breakup?? I'm really trying to reverse my temper which I have. Been taking vitamins and going for walks/ joggs!! It has helped a lot but she wants at least a 6 month break, she's basically "single" on this one website. I hate that!!! She even hooked up with a friend from work 3weeks after our separation/ breakup. I can't lose her like this!!! Please help... Was she already talking to him prior to our breakup??

[@jamestvvlog2297]

What if she done broke up with me then i go no contact for her space and she has new guy on chat right now what do i do?

[@briannah341]

Hi Kristin I initiated the break between my boyfriend and I because of the constant arguments between us. His pride and ego always stopped him from apologizing sincerely when he hurt me and not acknowledging when he hurt me. I had enough of it hence the break. I’ve told him time and time what bothers me and still doesn’t change. At this point I don’t want to have any contact with him so he knows I’m really hurt and I’m serious about things changing. What do I do if he texts me “ I hope you’re having a good day” do I acknowledge him or wait for him to tell me he’s going to change ?

[@KristinCoaching]

Hi there! Thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you need space, so I say take space. Feel free to text him to let him know that you appreciate him thinking of you (if he texts you) but kindly tell him you don't want to have any contact for (ex: 1 week). Then tell him you will reach out to him when you're ready. What do you think of that??

[@briannah341]

Kristin Coaching Thank you for this advice Kristin I truly appreciate it! I find your videos very helpful!

[@KristinCoaching]

@@briannah341 I'm so happy to hear that! You are very welcome and I appreciate you!!

[@colinb6814]

What are your thoughts on bringing home flowers during a break?

[@colinb6814]

Not necessarily giving them directly to her, but just bringing them home.