BPD and NPD: Similarities and Differences

[@thatgnaralooguy]

The way I describe it is that they often look the same, but the motivation for the behaviour is very different, which is unfortunate for borderlines.

[@sandie683]

My ex boyfriend has both and I never knew this illness. So sad and brutally hurtful to be with. He had a dysfunctional family and abandoned since childhood. 💔💔💔

[@tommynorman8498]

This is the best video I've watched that breaks down the description of both disorders in an easy to understand message. Thank you.

[@victoriaclarke961]

Thank you Darren, this was very informative. I wonder if these disorders are on the rise or we just know more about them. Wonder where we are going wrong as a society. Sometimes I think about that.

[@virgochick1]

It does seem to be on the rise. One of my hypotheses is the breakdown of the family unit. Children benefit most in a healthy two parent home.

[@Corina-dq2my]

This is very accurate. I lived with two people who had these disorders. One had NPD, the other had BPD. Diagnosed. And I can honestly say that these two disorders are NOT the same, but are quite different, despite some similarities. It's interesting to see these differences. I didn't feel lucky at the time, but looking back, it did teach me a lot. I will say that the person who had BPD expressed more signs of emotional disregulation. She sometimes went into severe rages. Very intense and sudden. She also seemed more insecure about relationships. The person who had NPD was more emotionally abusive. Passive aggressive. Egocentric. Like the person who had BPD was more like trying to protect the ego from feeling fear of rejection or abandonment. While the other person with NPD was trying to protect his ego in general.

[@KeepQuestioning243]

Hi Darren - very informative once again, thank you. I am not watching this sort of video very often anymore, though, because personally I am at a stage where I want to do my best to be solution oriented, so when you post that kind of video, I will be more likely to watch. Emotional Dysregulation has been a big issue for me recently, but I am dealing with it slowly by things such as journaling, meditating, saying affirmations, doing yoga, etc. It is helping, but as I said, slowly.

[@fidelmashelton9491]

Thank you Darren for the great information that you have shared about these personality disorders.

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Thank you for a very informative video Darren.

[@31minutesago]

Narcissists: Vampires Borderlines: Werewolves

[@thatgnaralooguy]

That's actually not a bad analogy!

[@isobelangeli2053]

I had a “ Were-pire”

[@AJFAMMAN]

I literally just described myself as a werewolf to my partner last week 😭

[@tatianaa.3694]

​@@isobelangeli2053same 😅

[@TC-gx3qn]

Very interesting and informative, Darren. Thank you for this.

[@psychicconsultant453]

Thank you

[@PsychoLOSZKA1]

Good video 👍

[@lauriecosgrove9662]

Hi Darren. I have been enjoying and learning from a few of your videos. Would you direct me to your video you mentioned regarding the different types of borderline personality?

[@DarrenFMagee]

There is a playlist containing them all . Hope you find them interesting

[@DominiqueRichardca]

Hi Dr Darren Mcgee, Would it he possible to make a visual (diagramme)? I'm a visual person but at the same time i like the simplicety of your videos. And maby add CPTSD and i think that ADHD hase also common traits. Thank you

[@laureneannedeloggio7479]

What is the difference between bpd and cptsd

[@clairemcmahon9392]

Think my ex was a bit of both tbh, but mostly I would say NPD. I got away thankfully. Sick B*****d.

[@thatgnaralooguy]

Read the room.

[@jelenatanic8741]

Hello Daren.

[@notaclue822]

I know most cluster b types are highly manipulative...is that true of bpd?

[@Mouse_Metal]

Yes.

[@user-kcrpine]

Read into it. Unfortunately it’s not as simple as the “yes” the other respondent gave you. Beliefs on this matter are evolving.

[@camlam5269]

A person with BPD may or may not be manipulative. Those who are (assuming there's no comorbidity) often don't realize they're being manipulative or believe there's a moral justification. They may mirror or love bomb because they genuinely admire a person. They may engage in extreme behaviors as a "cry for help" or be dishonest with the aim of protecting someone.

[@70s_GIRL]

Wow…do I really want to hear this? My diagnosis is BPD, and my son’s was Narcissistic PD. He killed himself last year.

[@syzygy4365]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Both diagnosis must feel heavy. I hope you've found some healing patterns in your life.

[@70s_GIRL]

@@syzygy4365 I am honored that you responded! I have taken DBT classes for years, so my coping skills are pretty good. Don’t you find it odd that a narcissist would take his own life?

[@trevsedgwick3324]

My ex wife suffers from BPD, unfortunately I only knew this towards the end of our relationship, and through my research into BPD and Narcissism I feel my ex wife is a quiet borderline, because there were very little signs of Dysregulation or BPD traits, however after The final discard she became very very narcissistic, so I totally feel she is also A narcissist as well as a borderline. The strange thing is even listening to your description of both BPD and NPD my x is ticking more boxes for NPD even though she was diagnosed with BPD, although I’m certain she has BPD I’m really struggling to know if she has full blown NPD or just very strong NPD traits. Please can anyone give me advice or please just comment on your own experiences, thank you 😊

[@Lucy-jz7sg]

On an MRI all of cluster B have the same grey matter deficit. Narcissism is the defensive mechanism for BPD Otto Kronberg explains the overlap. Females are more often diagnosed with BPD males with ASPD there’s a lot of nuance. My mother is a BPD narcissist she can pass as normal, unlike two siblings diagnosed sociopaths, they fly into violent rages. There are two species of human, one type has oxytocin & a lambic system, the other doesn’t. Traits vary according to what works for best for them.

[@Showdownxlm]

Very similar to mine. She is undiagnosed. At first i only knew narcissism and everything pointed into that direction. Literally every point of the list. The more i read, the more i understood there was alot of fear of abandonment in the background and actually no cheating (even after seperating, she dated someone but couldnt do it because she was still thinking about me) - id say thats quite unusual for a narcissist no? So i was like, ok might be actually bpd. But one thing that was mentioned in this video stands out. She never took responsibility. She did apologize, after outburts. But those kinda felt halfassed and not genuine. I once recorded a talk. I asked her a simple question like 10 times "How do you think i felt in xyz situation".. she couldnt even come close to answering, felt attacked by it. Counterattack, gaslighting, etc etc. She did however mention, that when everything is good, she is willing to admit mistakes and she is not perfect either etc. So the previous post might be right, narcissism is the defense mechanism of bpd. However, does it really matter? I found peace in the thought, that in the end it doesnt even matter, because i judge her by her actions, which were ultra toxic, inbearable and actually caused me gut pain. And even if she was BPD, there are even stories from BPD IN treatment, that didnt make it. So mine is still in full denial, whats the chance to come out with that huh? Zero Percent. So a general rule: Judge people by their actions not their words.

[@Showdownxlm]

Afterall, we have to also question what we find attractive in the damaged person. Mine was beautiful and kind when in the mood. Obviously they mirror us in the beginning so we tend to fall in love halfly with ourself. But if i had to write down good vs bad traits. There is no question. But we tend to think only about the good things post separation. Luckil i had decent relationships in the past. So i always had comparisons that things are not normal. This is what saved me personally

[@jerinpeter1390]

​@Showdownxlm I agree and I completely understand what you mean. It's a pendulum with one end of lovebombing and fake futuristic fantasies. And the other end of controlling, rage and silent treatment. I would do the things thinking I am the one who is not being reasonable, but 2yrs in the marriage now I have started realizing what you mentioned about actions. Irrespective of NPD or BPD or anything else, your actions speak louder than words. One cannot disrespect and expect to get away in the name of a disorder. Her mother is a major flying monkey and enabler. I used to think I was married to one person but it was always 2. Her mother has painted a picture about men (quoting how her husband only helped financially and nothing more) and the love and care means, being able to take disrespect and true men always forgives and etc etc. I didn't know at the start it was a joint effort. Now I have blocked her mother completely. And since I have started to keep boundaries, I am feeling the heat from all corners. But I am standing my ground. I havr been through so much emotionally and physically I am overweight and I think I have gall bladder issues. I have crohns as it is but then I used to keep it unde control. Post this relationship every part of my body and mind hurts. There were good times, I don't deny it but then once you came to know you were a part of their fantasy, all those just didn't mean anything.

[@Lucy-jz7sg]

Otto Kronberg says that narcissism is the defence mechanism protecting the borderline brain abnormality.

[@sharonthompson672]

🖐️🙂👍

[@lilac8316]

❤

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

🌱🌏💚

[@ilkkak3065]

Sounds a lot my ex wife was more like bpd young as we met and more like npd 18 years later when we divoced.

[@dc56789]

Im a male with borderline personality disorder with sociopathic (aspd) traits when I feel threatened.

[@lipikabaral599]

Ĥmm overlap

[@averagejane09]

They can have both?! Geez...

[@aintdatsnipes177]

How do you help these crazy psycho freaks?

[@gailfagan7579]

From watching a lot of videos about narcissist behaviours after recently discarding and attacks and causing of major disruption in our lives, I’m seeing and hearing that this is not ‘treatable’ in that they get some kind of insight, remorse or understanding of a need to change their ways. It simply does not happen because they see no reason to change. And they get worse as they get older apparently. Our oldest son has grown into a narcissist and I’ve just recently gotten info from a cousin that my father was a cold, violent man, his father were mean and likely narcissists and I haven’t recognized it because I was raised up in that kind of home. And, it likely has an aspect of being passed down through generations. 😢

[@thatgnaralooguy]

Talking about yourself in that way won't help you.

[@user-kcrpine]

guyskillen - can’t deal with what you are so you have to project, huh? Typical.