Things Americans Think are Totally Normal... But Others Find Bizarre

[@brainblaze6526]

Use my code BLAZE to get $5 off your delicious, healthy Magic Spoon cereal by clicking this link: magicspoon.thld.co/blaze_0822

[@LittleBallOfPurr]

Maybe it would be worth it if it came with a free toy inside, like a fleshlight.

[@stickelmichael]

Can we get Danny a lot of subscribers? kzbin.info/door/0IT9-IQkDXJDSD76PqY6ug

[@stuffhappensdownsouth9899]

we actually did sing the national anthem in my class

[@racatiwood]

@Achronic Deth I pledge allegiance to Queen Fragg and her mighty state of hysteria...

[@marvindebot3264]

Simon, you live in Prague, why on earth is your business registered in the bloody UK?

[@emileelamica7701]

This is half an hour of Simon throwing shade, yelling into the mic, and going on tangents, and I am HERE for it 😂

[@TakumiJoyconBoyz]

Honestly, it's the entire reason I'm subbed to the channel.

[@darkfirezero]

Only 30 mins :(

[@Bear-lb4qj]

This is why I came here

[@stevenrais9360]

As an American, I love listening to a British man, living in the Czech Republic, throwing shade on Americans

[@crazzykanadian2685]

Oh good I’m in the right video

[@jeffjeffrets3253]

Man you've got to bring back the old blaze format. Today's episode was as close as you've came in quite a while to the old way and I've forgotten how hilarious it can be. Roam and blaze and give us all the tangents. We love it fact boy, and we miss it.

[@jacksloczy7806]

And a wad of paper to slap!

[@sambosmummy]

Viewers have dropped immensely since the new format came in too

[@DirtScraps]

The same moment Simon is blown away by flat lemonade, I’m staring at the screen like, “WTF you mean it’s FIZZY?!” 🤣😂

[@annaschwirian7548]

Same , I'm like lemonade is three simple ingredients plain water, sugar and fresh lemon juice (at least if you want the best tasting) I would be quite miffed if I got fizzy lemonade.

[@m-w-y7325]

we literally make lemonade at home and its just...squeezed lemons, sugar and some salt or pepper if you want it slightly tangy.

[@bridgetfitzgerald3063]

@@m-w-y7325 ...o, we are now not going to discuss fizzy lemonade but this remark of PEPPER in lemonade....?

[@m-w-y7325]

@@bridgetfitzgerald3063 ay! just try it out, infact go for Rock salt, it gives it even a more punch!

[@lesliekilgore648]

same here! in the US even (now almost entirely gone from some places due to covid) drink station lemonade uses the FLAT TAP WATER source to dilute the syrup not the carbon dioxide infused water for the sodas. peculiar thing is... fizzy lemonade (pronounced in old Japan and today as ramune) was introduced in glass bottles with the iconic 'marble' inside the neck as a stopper to Japan on July 8, 1853. when American Commodore Matthew Perry led his four ships into the harbor at Tokyo Bay. the US was seeking to re-establish for the first time in over 200 years regular trade and discourse between Japan and the western world. one of the 'trade gifts' Perry brought was CASES and CRATES of carbonated and only slightly sweetened lemon water. so sometime after the 1850's carbonated lemonade went out of fashion in the US. :>

[@beagleissleeping5359]

I remember having to say the pledge every morning in my early school years. I also remember it meant nothing personally because I didn't view it as a promise, I viewed it as just one more boring task I had to perform in school. I also remember some kid trying to get me in trouble, loudly announcing that I didn't say it one day. The teacher didn't care.

[@adamreddaway2005]

I had to say the pledge of allegiance every day I had Spanish 1 and 2 in highschool. I can recite it to this day, unlike most of the other Spanish I was supposed to learn. Somehow I feel this will be of limited use we're I to travel overseas.

[@MrDavidlfields]

@@adamreddaway2005 same here lol. “Prometo fidelidad …”

[@bustcard]

That’s how indoctrination works.

[@The_Bird_Bird_Harder]

@@bustcard I, I imagine when properly indoctrinated you'd, remember the words, maybe feel something about it. How is it successful indoctrination when they go on to not give the slightest fuck about doing it ever again past that point?

[@bustcard]

@@The_Bird_Bird_Harder It's normalizing it to the point of making it mundane.

[@skinwalker3953]

Sam editing, Danny's stories, and Simon's tangents is the reason we continue to watch.

[@jeffsorrows]

But its been changing and has a different vibe now, I remember the Glory Days, where Simon would plan ETAs murder, the roaming while we blaze, the smacking the script, miss the good old days 😞👍

[@viperswhip]

@@jeffsorrows Ya, being seated is probably better for his back, but it has greatly reduced the amount of chaos.

[@HarryNicNicholas]

i'm keeping a tally of his mispronunciations...

[@RayDrouillard]

I turned 18 shortly after the drinking age was raised to 21. Three months later, I enlisted into the U.S. Army. I didn't try it, but was told that I could buy alcohol on base. After several months of training, I was stationed in Germany -- where kids can buy beer (or so I was told.) I was happily enjoying good German beer, wine, Apfelcorn, Jagermeister, and all that good stuff. When I went home on leave, I took a whole AWOL bag of that liquid German goodness. I went through customs and paid my duty. I landed in Detroit Metro airport, and suddenly realized that, at the tender age of twenty, I wasn't allowed to have that bag full of hooch. So I told my mother that, if anyone asked, it's her hooch.

[@jeffduncan9140]

good thinking

[@whatabouttheearth]

I joined in 2001 and the view was that if your old enough to serve your old enough to drunk but it's technically against the UCMJ so you will be punished more for getting caught than for actually getting drunk, overseas it was completely allowed under 21.

[@AtrisMakesMusic]

Germany: It's beer and wine starting at 16 and everything else starting at 18. Not allowed to sell alcohol to someone under 18 if they appear to be drunk though.

[@DrDipsh1t]

@@AtrisMakesMusic It's been a while since I lived in Germany, but where I lived even 16 wasn't heavily enforced. I remember going out to dinner with my parents and they'd even bring me a glass of wine at the tender age of 9-10. I remember going to Croatia for vacation and the open bar on the resort had no gripes with me making mixed drink orders (for my parents but it was me who was tasked with going to the bar).

[@codypickell9299]

As a fellow mid-Michigander, and familiar with the years you speak of; nobody gave a f**k then lol. It was just "boys will be boys" and "try to get home safe" 😂 its going that way again now, you dont even need a license plate. The cops gave up where I'm at 👌

[@biosec9361]

Simon your tangents and things you think "aren't funny" are half the reason we love your content.

[@TheGizmodian]

Right? I nearly choked on my tea at him 'shouting hymns'.

[@TakumiJoyconBoyz]

Honestly, it's the entire reason I'm subscribed to this channel.

[@MadGammon]

💯

[@RNemy509]

What I find amazing is how Simon finds the energy to be enthusiastic about his 472 different channels! He brings the heat 😏

[@CornPopsDood]

That’s called personality. He read’s everything the same way, only channel names. Let’s not forget the rest of the crew who add so much to what we see as the final product, & Simon’s character.

[@joharhernandez-carr8504]

This man said he got out of school early on Wednesdays at 5pm. I'm dying.😂

[@ZombieEater73]

I was living in Atlanta, Georgia in 1996 when the Olympics came thru. Downtown at the Olympic village there was essentially a zone where drinking ages were suspended due to many other countries having lower or non-existent drinking ages. Holy shit did the local kids love that.

[@johnned4848]

Lucky bastard. I lived in Salt Lake City during the 2002 Winter Olympics. There was no suspension of drinking laws for the locals. Just free drinking zones for foreigners behind East German style barriers to keep the unwashed out.

[@2011blueman]

Most people remember the Atlanta Olympics for the bombing.

[@isaacshaver6218]

Nobody in America cares bout the Olympic sports unless they are competing in them. Lol

[@2011blueman]

@@isaacshaver6218 You say that, but when the Olympics are in Los Angeles those are going to be some of the hardest tickets to get ever.

[@isaacshaver6218]

@@2011blueman Yea cuz of the friends & families from other countries coming to watch. You can't say the venue is packed when only your gfs are the only ppl coming to see the show. Lol. Either way I said this is jest. I hope America wins all the golds. I'm always for team America! Fukk Yeah!

[@playman350]

The Today I found out jingle playing at the end of the video when Simon discovers US lemonade isn't fizzy is perhaps the greatest meta joke on this channel

[@computernaut]

I didn't even know that fizzy lemonade was normal anywhere.

[@Yayenia]

@@computernaut my husband is English and whenever we go there I’m depressed about it. Fizzy lemonade is a sin.

[@TjPhysicist]

Lemonade isn't what? That's just lemon juice

[@viperswhip]

@@TjPhysicist Lemon juice is the juice squeezed from a lemon, Lemonade is a little bit of that, a fuck ton of sugar and water.

[@Goosemanpointnine]

I normally don't get mad watching any of Simon's videos on any of his channels, but knowing I've lived for over thirty years without a fizzy lemonade upsets me on a level I cannot accurately articulate.

[@toymachine2328]

Mountain Dew has raspberry lemonade called Spark, I'd imagine it's something like that.

[@stevelee5724]

You haven't lived mate !

[@doctornova3015]

In the US I think it's something like lemon phosphate. One of my favorite things

[@NnyNZ]

Just so u aren't disappointed there's an Australian drink called pub squash which is the closest thing to American lemonade but fizzy ....

[@redneckshaman3099]

I'm addicted to the pigger nussy 😻

[@GrizzlyCompany]

Ok hear me out... As an American MOST of this I agree with but I would love to see similar videos for other countries. In other parts of the world were things are considered normal and everyone else is like "yeah about that..." As a bonus we will get Simon tangents in every video :D

[@charlottejay136]

Simon roasting American schools and the pledge is A+ comedy for me. Thank you. And yes, I am from the US.

[@ginnyjollykidd]

When you read it closely, you realize you are pledging to a cloth. First. Then to the country it represents. Were I to write it (and I have written one), I would start with, "I pledge allegiance to the United States of America." No words minced. But it would be fine with me if we dropped it altogether.

[@muninn9674]

well, im from ye olde Kingdom of Norway and even most of my irl friends view the pledge at schools as mental lmao. generally speaking you could argue Norwegians are extremely nationalistic, seeing as how we got fucked by Sweden and Denmark for so long, but even here the pledge every single morning would be viewed as a tad bit much. or you could just argue that we dont have to forcibly indoctrinate kids into thinking the country is fine and that theyre the best, even though the rich elite is allowed to exploit you for infinite gainz since you have fuckall worker rights. i genuinely feel bad for you guys, and hope for yalls sake someone is able to actually fix the hellhole yall are in.

[@Savvysnek]

I’m Canadian, but learning that lemonade is usually fizzy in Europe blew my mind. Like that sounds amazing, I’m surprised that never caught on in North America

[@Jin-Ro]

Likewise with North America. I'm from England, I thought all lemonade was fizzy lol

[@CordeliaWagner]

We like it fizzy, that's why we drink sparkling water. I call it lemonade when it sqeeze half a lemon into a glas of sparkling water. No sugar.

[@womenfrom0202]

Dutchie here, “limonade” here is not fizzy, syrup with plain water. Not sure what the rest of Europe drink

[@rebekahj8662]

Lemonade in the UK is just like sprite or 7 Up. It’s just lemon flavored soda. Lemonade in America is lemon juice, mixed with water and sugar.

[@oreotookie]

American here. Izzy sparkling lemonade is FANTASTIC!

[@joehemmann1156]

"There's no sales tax... why doesn't everyone live there then!?" Because things like no sales tax or no income tax are obfuscating that either the state is gouging you in some other way or they're legit spending less on their citizens, probably meaning they have a worse quality of life. Take Texas. I moved down here for work and there's no state income tax. Yay! Except I moved from Missouri, where there is income tax... and property tax is literally 1/5 of the amount that it is in Texas.

[@dfreak01]

Yeah. Some do income tax, some do sales tax. It's fun trying to compare states.

[@ClampEEGEE]

Go back

[@PhantomFilmAustralia]

I would be great to go to the US and only to have to pay for something for the price on the ticket.

[@AtomicDoorknob]

True Washington state and TX both frontload the fuck out of property tax so owning a home is absolutely madness level expensive because they "have no income tax"

[@rosellacobiskey2484]

Oregon does property tax

[@thejudgmentalcat]

Sam has the most interesting job...he decides which tangent and how long a tangent Simon uploads. Lotta responsibility there 👏

[@richardhockey8442]

This seems to be the 'ply Simon with large amounts of alcohol before he records the video' channel

[@UsernameU222]

Sadly enough Simon, in my state one could legally drive at 14. It was mostly for those that lived way out in the country and for driving farm equipment on roads or something like that.

[@TheKellyGreen]

I learned that lemonade is fizzy across the pond and reacted to same way Simon did when he found out ours wasn’t.

[@christinebenson518]

Schweppes makes amazing fizzy lemonade that they only sell in Europe and maybe Canada? Never been to Canada.

[@jackl4laughs]

Same. We have like lemon flavored carbonated drinks, but lemonade in America isn't carbonated. We literally mean lemons, maybe a little water, and sugar to taste. Kids make it and sell it in their front yards, it's definitely not carbonated...

[@courtneypuzzo2502]

@@jackl4laughs there's Carbonated versions of Lemonade in America most people though prefer the sugar mix I.E. Country Time

[@gerardmontgomery280]

Cider is another one, we don't have "soft" cider in the UK so imagine my surprise when I heard American parents let their kids drink cider on a regular basis.

[@tarajh]

Same!

[@jerrywood4508]

When I was a kid growing up in Texas, there were a lot of kids whose families were from Louisiana, where the drinking age was, theoretically, 18. But they'd return with stories about going to bars when they were 14. Enforcement of such things varies a great deal. Oh, and buying tobacco is restricted to 21 or older, which would have inconvenienced my older sister who'd send me into the store to buy her a pack of Winstons when I was 13. And I remember a pack of Winstons at that time cost 50 cents. I suddenly realized I'm going off on my own Simon tangent.

[@patrickmccurry1563]

To add to your tangent, I'm old enough to remember vending machines for cigarettes. So what theoretical age someone had to be to buy them, anyone could just wander up and buy some.

[@TitularHeroine]

@@patrickmccurry1563 I was just thinking about those vending machines. I only remember seeing them in bars.

[@chuck.reichert83]

I remember cigarette machines in the bowling alley and bar

[@epowell4211]

My great aunt ran a grocery, and when I was very little, cigarettes and the bologna & cracker snack were the only things I was allowed to ring up as they were $0.50 and $0.25 - they didn't trust me with the other numbers for some reason lol. I'm also old enough that my first year of junior high, there was still a designated smoking area on the school grounds for kids.

[@jmmahony]

My dad smoked Winstons and I remember more than once being sent to the gas station in my tiny little town to get cigs from the vending machine for him when I was only about 7 or 8, around 1970. The price was about 45 cents then.

[@NadarCosainAmber]

I grew up in KS where yes, you could get your learner's permit to drive at age 14. There were some pretty big restrictions on when/where you could go and who else could be in the car, but it was theoretically possible. And I seem to recall it could be even lower if you lived on a farm and needed to drive the farm equipment...

[@nitrofish420]

You could get a learner's permit in IA at 14 also. Not sure if that's still true or not.

[@carriebrown4727]

Still true in Kansas.

[@VinL82]

Bought my first car when I was 14 from working at Arby’s and side work. lol got to fix it up for 2 years before could drive it was nice using for the tests though

[@wayneslaughter5388]

Also Maine when I was 14 (in the late 1950's). 14 and 9 months learners' permit, 15 years old, full license. Lots fewer people on the road there and then.

[@EricHonaker]

Underage drinking in America's legality varies from state to state (of course.) In my state it is legal to give your own children alcoholic beverages in your own home. No having a beer at 16 at the restaurant, even if you're with your parents. Also, where I grew up, I had a driver's license at 14, but it's called a "learner's permit" and you have to have a licensed driver over 18 in the passenger seat.

[@dfreak01]

Oregon gives learner permits at 15 then after so many hour of driving supervised you can try for your license. I guess all the illegals don't need licenses though😡

[@chitlitlah]

In Texas, the law says you can be given alcohol from a parent, a grandparent, or a spouse who's at least 21 as long as you drink it in their presence. Also, you can get a hardship license at the age of 15 if you can prove you need it to take care of your family. Otherwise, you can only get a learner's permit at 15 after passing the written driving test to drive with an adult present who is at least 21 and get the license at 16. There are restrictions even for the license when you're under 18 though, such as not being able to drive at night.

[@dustanglx50]

Ohio state law does allow for parents to allow their children (or spouses who are over the age of 21 to allow their underage spouse) to consume alcohol, under certain circumstances. For a parent to consent for a minor to consume alcohol, the parent has to be physically present with the minor and supervising the minor at all times. The parent assumes all responsibility and consequences should the minor cause damage or injury. Restaurants and bars are legally allowed to serve alcoholic beverages to parents, knowing it will be consumed by a minor, but are also allowed to refuse to serve alcohol to a minor. It is at the discretion of the individual establishment.

[@SaguaroBlossom]

In Minnesota and Nebraska if you lived on a rural farm, you could qualify for a "farm permit" and drive alone to/from school and school activities (sports practice, plays, etc.) at 14 years old. Most farm kids had been driving around the farm and backroads since like 10, so it wasn't a big deal, allowed the kid more sleep (don't have to get chores done, then ride the school bus route for an hour before school, and was a huge burden off the parents too. All kids could get a learner's permit at age 15, then had to have a passenger over age 18 or 21 (depending on the state). My mom always started us driving on the empty dirt roads in the country, then when we had that down, the paved town streets (our giant metropolis of 2,200 people) and eventually onto the highway. We lived 2.5 hours away from the nearest freeway and city, so those experiences were pretty rare until we were a little older. Some states require the passenger for a learner's permit be over 21 and on a list of 10 or 15 people approved by the parents (my niece's list included her older sister, grandparents, and brave family friends who agreed to be on the list. I don't live close enough) and I think she had to have driver's ed classes (always provided by the school in such states) before she could get her license at 16.

[@liz5089]

@@SaguaroBlossom in South Dakota anyone can get their learners permit at 14. And they’ve changed it a bit since I was a kid, but if you take and pass drivers Ed, you can get your restricted permit and start driving alone during the day while still 14.

[@ningyosoul2273]

I love when Simon is attempting to convince himself that 'flat' lemonade is a niche product. 32:24 Oh you sweet sweet summer child. In America the so-called 'flat' lemonade is a very common commodity. Fizzy lemonade on the other hand....sorry other than the aforementioned Sprite I've never personally seen fizzy lemonade.

[@Cultural_chronicles411]

Right? Lol same here 😅

[@zzippo81]

Well there's Mike's Hard Lemonade but otherwise nope never heard of fizzy lemonade.

[@Corina_Simpson]

Sparkling Ice has a lemonade that's really good and it's carbonated (fizzy).

[@TheBuckteeth100]

Sprite isn't considered lemonade in the US. It's just lemon lime flavored soda. Lemonade is a lemon juice, sugar, water

[@bjorn-falkoandreas9472]

Well, that seems like the very definition of niche.

[@bushmanPMRR]

Danny's script triggers Simon, Sam drops in the utterly surreal Thomas The Tank Engine/Donald Trump bing bing bing bong clip, Simon's tangent spirals wildly out of control resulting in him trying to talk whilst collapsing in paroxysms of laughter which ultimately sound like he is trying to talk to dolphins in an ultra high frequency of sonar. Fantastic entertainment!

[@TheRealMarxz]

5:12 yeh that happened, my grand father signed up at 13 for WWI spent several months in the trenches before the officers found out and had him transferred back to the support units area (not home because 13 was old enough to serve there and he was good at carpentry so spent the rest of the war fixing shot up aircraft) Unfortunately that skill (as he went on to become a construction engineer) he got conscripted in to serving in WWII building defensive works.... not so cushy behind the lines sort of job as the Japanese regularly raided and bombed his works so he frequently was on anti-aircraft gunnery duty ... one of the few soldiers to see active duty in both wars

[@pamelaadam9207]

My granda was 15 when he ran off to ww1 he was a horseman he was caught sent home and we t right back when hecwas 16. Right at the end of the real warhorse documentary he walks right into the camera

[@jacobmontoya7172]

Your grandfather was harder than a woodpeckers beak! Semper Fi!

[@cococreates26]

My grandfather signed up at 14 and fought in WWII. Not front line, but close enough. He died from shell shock and ptsd some 60 years after the war. Far too many children signed up and were allowed to fight 😢😢

[@ryanroberts1104]

I have a big flag planted outside my house because it was there when I bought it. The previous owner was one of the nicest people you could ever meet. He was also a decorated war hero with a whole bunch of medical problems that were caused by his service. He died just a week after I bought his house, age 68. I keep the flag up for him. Replaced with a new, American manufactured flag each memorial day.

[@fificrazyzebra7375]

We live in the UK, both my grandad and my dad worked in the RAF we never really put the flag up. But my partners father was in the RAF and had the flag outside, he passed away and we live in his house now and there is always a flag flying for him. I completely respect you for doing that its about respect for a person as much as anything else.

[@vikashprakash]

As a veteran, much respect to you for honoring a veteran! Thank you. You are what makes the USA 🇺🇸 great.

[@cmaden78]

I think that just means ur a nice person who shows respect good on u

[@Alex-yl8dz]

I'm stunned that Simon's school had 35 minutes per lesson and not 55 minutes and went to school until 5pm instead of 3pm

[@Versaldean]

As a British kid I went to school in USA for a few years and was required to stand during the pledge but not to say the words. Still remember them all perfectly 20 years later though.

[@TA_Plus_Hemi]

Thank you for the respect that was obviously taught in your household. I don't understand why foreign exchange or legal non-citizens have to do it but I extend the same respect. You were a better "American" when you were here than those who were born here 10 to 15 years before you left.

[@markfrank3307]

oh say can you see.

[@deaniej2766]

Since the Pledge to the Flag is literally our oath of citizenship, I'm glad that the school didn't make you say the words. I'm glad your school understood that and didn't force that on you as technically a visitor, not a citizen.

[@tomingrassiaimages8776]

Yes....you were NOT required. Thanks for mentioning this.

[@jordanfrancisco27]

Much respecc. But this made me lol.

[@DannySalter]

Just to confirm that Simon was right, it was obviously George H. W. Bush who conducted the first Presidential Turkey Pardon in 1989. I knew who I meant in my head, I just missed off the ‘H’. We always just knew him as Georgie Boy in our household.

[@iainballas]

See, I thought that was weird. I never know who to trust.

[@cd5433]

Your the Danny?

[@StfuFFS]

The "Walker" in GHWB was actually a last name. George Sr was the son of Prescott Bush and Dorothy Walker. He gave his first name along with his first-last name to his first born son as a middle name. The reason he kept it was the fact that the Walker family was once an extremely well known and connected family. And his grandfather, George Herbert Walker, was a very famous dude in the 19th and 20th centuries who ran a bunch of banks and then became the president of US Golf.

[@StfuFFS]

There easiest way to differentiate is to call one of them George or "H.W." and the other is always "Dubya". By the way, did you know this bit of trivia? The day Bubba left the Whitehouse and Dubya moved in, the staff discovered that the Clinton people had played the practical joke of stealing all the W's off of all the keyboards in the whole place. Which is pretty funny. And considering how close Bill and HW got after the 93 election, it's totally believable. The Bush family still refer to Bill is the "adopted son".

[@ClaymooreEOC]

Bad Danny! No magic spoon in the blazement for you :P

[@MattCherwin]

As an American, the notion of fizzy lemonade is mind-blowing. Proper lemonade is squeezing way too many lemons into ice water and adding sugar to taste, which (obviously) ends up being still. The idea that you'd make it sparkling for the canned version seems as odd to me as it would to get sparkling iced tea in a can. I guess I'm glad I've never gotten a lemonade when I've been in the UK; it would have been an unpleasant surprise.

[@omgandwtf1]

I worked at a gas station that sold carbonated ice tea and it was quite unpleasant. Tea tastes smooth adding carbonation to something smooth is a bad idea, like adding carbonation to a milk shake or pudding or oatmeal or Irish cream it would be incongruous and ultimately unpleasant.

[@omgandwtf1]

Although carbonation lemonade is actually great, carbonation and citrus is always good, we used to stretch our orange juice with 50% seltzer, not as good as pure orange juice but a hell of a lot better than drinking plain seltzer or water.

[@iainballas]

If Magic Spoon can just bring the cost down by like 25 percent, I'd be happy to get on board with it. But a month's supply was... *expensive* to say the least.

[@J-Vasa]

Most of these youtube ad companies are expensive. They think by making youtubers or influencers promote it that viewers will be more likely to pay the cost. Its why a lot of them go out of business and usually change their name so people think its a new company with a better product.

[@Akren905]

Yeah a buddy looked this up... it's close to 15 dollars a box Canadian cheerios is 7.99 for double the size.. Simon should just accept the deal from raid cause not one person is buying their cereal lol

[@grilledleeks6514]

@@Akren905 it's just not good enough to ge worth the price. It's just overly dry cereal.

[@AnonEyeMouse]

80% less and it'd be on par with the most expensive cereal I've ever bought. For a product whose selling point is that it has nothing in it, it's fucking extortionately priced.

[@genericacct1]

The brand sold here in stores is about 1.50$ less a box, but it's awful. Magic spoon isn't an everyday option, but it's great to have the occasional bowl of cereal.

[@pgwchaos]

When it started the pledge of allegiance required people to use the Bellamy salute, which is a palm-out salute to the flag. This changed after some not so nice nations started using a similar salute around World War II.

[@Lesfaundez]

I didn’t realize how weird this was until my husband who is from Chile asked me about my morning one day. I use to teach and I mentioned something like after the pledge of allegiance…and he was like what the f*** is that. I had no idea that this was something we just did and no one else. It was just something we did and honestly no one really thought about. Well…at least I didn’t unless it was maybe on Memorial Day. Anyway in Texas you do both the US pledge and the Texas pledge. It’s a complicated history there, and Texans are either really proud or really embarrassed. You even have an entire grade (4th I believe) dedicated to learning about Texas history (at some point Texas was it’s own country). People think Americans are dumb. We are not. It’s just education is politically motived. The state government decides what is taught not people who are professionals in a subject. I never even technically took a world history course in public school. It was called “world history” but it was more…what did the US do in the world that was great. Don’t get me started on Science. My husband learned all kinds of stuff I didn’t know until college because it’s so disputed politically. Book banning is a huge thing, too. It’s a mess.

[@laner.845]

We quit saying both by the late 90s in my rural east TX school. If yours still does it, that's just something chosen by the ISD.

[@Lesfaundez]

@@laner.845 it’s the law…but ok Texas law (Texas Education Law Section 25.082) requires students to recite the Pledge of Allegiance to the United States flag and the Pledge of Allegiance to the Texas flag each day. Parents may submit a written request to the principal to excuse their child from reciting a pledge. A minute of silence will follow recitation of the pledges. The student may choose to reflect, pray, meditate, or engage in any other silent activity so long as the silent activity does not interfere with or distract others.

[@Pushing_Pixels]

Yeah, Americans doing the pledge of allegiance look just like the brainwashed kids in N.Korea or Iran to the rest of the world. It's definitely weird.

[@mslpfanatik]

Californian children learn Californian history in 4th grade as well. US history is 5 and 7th and again in h.s.

[@CordeliaWagner]

That's creepy. I am German and that gives me Third Reich cringe. What if you don't agree with your actual government?

[@DeathSpeach]

In some states, like Washington, a 14 year old who lived and works on their parents' farm is able to get what is known as a farmer's driver's license, which allows them to legally drive within a set distance from their home/farm. The purpose for this is so that they can drive and operate farm equipment like the trackers and things... But if they live close enough to their school they can drive there too

[@chesh1rek1tten]

It's somewhat similar in Germany. Kids are allowed to drive on their parent's farm and fields but not on public roads. Which is why my cousin was one brought home by police because he went on a "short errant run" with his dad's tractor (driving from the vineyard to the farmhouse and halfway back. The police only noticed because he was a pretty small 7 year old.

[@JohnYoung77]

I just choked on my gunpowder when Simon said "America Is the best in all statistics, especially in school shootings"......

[@laurielyddy4890]

This brought up an old memory about living in Canada. I am American... I was born in Massachusetts and I spent about 7 years in Canada. with my parents from the I was there from the age of four and a half till 11 years old. I distinctly remember being asked to leave the classroom because I was American and I wasn't allowed to participate in the morning singing of the Canadian anthem. Never understood why and I understand it less now but I had forgotten about it until this video!

[@la_belle_heaulmiere]

What decade was that? And which province? One public elementary school I went to in BC in the 80s never sang the anthem. A different one I went to in the same city they did, but it was only on Monday morning. 75% of my class were recent immigrants and visible minorities in the second school, they all sang it except for the Jehovah Witness child, who just sat there quietly. I don’t know if it was because one was a French immersion and the other wasn’t, but they were still in the same school board district. I have a strong feeling they likely don’t sing the anthem in any school in Quebec, they don’t even celebrate Canada Day. Strangely, my mother tells me when Kennedy was shot they were sent home from school in Vancouver. I never asked my dad if the same happened to him in Montreal though. Lately I’ve been blowing my American boyfriend’s mind that Secondary school in Canada in the 80s and 90s was absolutely nothing like his experiences in American Junior and High schools.

[@laurielyddy4890]

@@la_belle_heaulmiere oh dear lord the switching from Canadian schools to American schools was hard. I knew no states or cities or presidents or anything like that I could do all the geography things for Canada. I still to this day have a hard time with geography. And as for what providence I lived in both of the different areas I lived in were in Ontario. And if I move there when I was four and a half that would have been 1972

[@la_belle_heaulmiere]

@@laurielyddy4890 lol unsurprising. Canadian history is terribly neglected. Most Canadians graduate public school and can’t name most of our historical prime ministers. History was mostly fur trade, Plains of Abraham, Hanging of Louis Riel, Klondike gold rush, railroad. War. War. A shocking amount of people have no idea how the Westminster parliamentary system works. Not learning anything about other countries is not surprising at all. :( I hope you were able to catch up in most of your studies quickly and felt more comfortable and integrated in your later schooling after adjusting.

[@kevinmcqueenie7420]

Being also from the UK I remember the hymn singing. Our main subversion was to change the words, for example a song called “He’s got the whole world in his hands” became “…in his pants”. Not particularly clever, but we were only 9.

[@alexanderfreeman]

That reminds me of how we subverted "Deck the Halls" in second grade. We'd sing, "Deck the halls with Santa's balls. Fa la la la la la la la la! Break a window; break a tire. Fa la la la la la la la la! Break an old man's beard with wires. Fa la la la la la la la la!"

[@SungJaeUng3]

No no no, the flag is in the classroom in many cases. Children literally stand up, face the flag hung in the front of the classroom, put their hand over their heart, and recite the pledge of allegiance. That's how it was at my school. And if you opt out of reciting the pledge, you're basically painting a target on your back.

[@absollum]

Some teachers basically marked the students who refused as delinquents dispite that being the only thing that could be labeled as such. Luckily, I had teachers who didn't care since they thought it was stupid as well.

[@madalice5134]

Yeah, when I was in school anyone who didn't stand and do the stupid pledge was targeted by the teachers and other students.

[@thekidfromcleveland3944]

Yep

[@camgere]

I was more or less forced to repeat "The Pledge of Obedience" every school day for four years of high school. I don't recall a single instance of the principal pledging "I will serve the students in the furtherance of their education and never, ever use my office for my personal gain or power..."

[@raitchison]

Last time I was this early ETA was still locked up in the basement with Danny and Sam.

[@EngineerOfChaos]

My dad used to work for a corporate tax software company and he told me stories of how the tax lawyers literally had to once were given a tax code written in the early 1900s that was still valid where the boundaries for the specific tax was written like the kind of instructions you would see for driving somewhere back then. Like "go down this road until you reach this specific tree, then turn right until you reach Old Jenkin's Farm, then make another right until you pass his barn, and then make a left and keep going to this other specific weird tree". And, the tax officers for his company had to find out what exactly was meant by that written boundary and then give GPS coordinates for the tax software to actually interpret. This is how weird US taxes are. Anything sold to someone in each area gets different taxes applied to it.

[@MLake1120]

"This is not funny to anyone else because you don't have the memories that I have" Yet here I am laughing harder than he is

[@jasonbouvette1077]

I remember the day I learned about sales tax. I was 4 years old and there was a swiss army knife I needed to have. It was at the hardware store about 12 miles away. I lived in the middle of a national wildlife refuge area so nothing was around. That was December of 1983 in Central Minnesota (before global warming fucked winter). I saved the $11 from my chores ( bringing in firewood daily to heat the house) and walked there one cold Saturday morning. I was a survivalist even then so I brought my thermos with hot cocoa, 2 granola bars and a canteen of water. Also matches just in case. I bundled up like my Dad and cub scouts taught me and walked all the way. Just to find out that $11 wasn't enough. Yes sales tax, that or they didn't want to sell a knife to a 4 year old. Well I got that knife for Christmas that year.

[@smooshiebear80]

That’s ok. You still can’t buy alcohol in the grocery store except 3:2 beer, lol.

[@jaredcrue7099]

Another American thing: Some counties/ townships are "dry" meaning that alcohol can't be sold within the area. Some places also forbid "Imports".

[@Lessk69]

This episode was amazing. The total lunacy we want when we show up for these.

[@rustymozzy]

We need a dedicated channel of Simon Tangents. He can just keep going from one tangent to the next. It would be great. The tangents today were very entertaining!

[@chrisconner5777]

Actually, such a channel exists! It's called Brain Blaze - oh wait, we're already here. Lol (OK, I'll see myself out)

[@krampusklaws2238]

It's a very British thing to do, really. Talk about one thing then go into a tangent for a bit then return to the original thing. We do it alll the time. A classic example is Billy Connelly when he does his stand up he will start a joke get caught up in like 5 other stories then return back to the original joke.

[@Feszy_]

New Channel: Today I Tangent

[@shelbylengwenat3774]

@@Feszy_ I would watch

[@igostupidfast3]

@@krampusklaws2238 why am I just finding this out now

[@Fuchswinter]

I fucking love Simon's tangents and Danny's intros, I need that lore!

[@robzworld2000]

I can totally relate to your memories of “singing” during assembly in the UK. Silently waiting until the chorus before belting out “OH COME LET US ADORE HIM” as loud as possible! Lol

[@MrKingkz]

I think every kid did that or singing the last verse late on purpose

[@idxee]

As an American I’m imagining hogwarts

[@b3ans4eva]

This is one of the best episodes yet from all three of you. Love the tangents, the shade on the writer from the Pledge of Allegiance & the random use of Eva.

[@spyone4828]

Drinking age: Our local State Legislator came to speak at my High School and one of the question he was asked was why the drinking age was going up. He answered that all of the studies they had seen said that people 18 to 21 by and large don't vote, so you can screw them as hard as you like and it won't cost you an election.

[@jenna2720]

I think the drinking thing in the USA depends on where you are. I vividly remember my mom(! My incredibly strict Italian-American mother) ordering me a glass of the house red at a dinner when I was 14 (so that was in 2004 or 2005) and the waiter not batting an eye. Of course, this was in Staten Island at the local Italian Ristorante which we often frequented, I was with my parents and I was also a girl, so maybe the waitstaff didn’t think I’d get totally blotto. Also, I’m pretty sure that the age limit is just for buying alcohol. I remember drinking beers and wine with my parents starting in middle school, and I also remember going to the liquor store with my dad to buy wine for holidays. He’d be like, “which one do you think we should buy?” And my elementary school aged self would be like, “that bottle looks really pretty!” And then I’d carry the bottle to the cashier and he’d pay. No one raised a fuss.

[@stevendorries]

Not sure about NY, but in FL there is no age of consumption laws for alcohol provided to minors by their parents in their own home.

[@tdgonz4532]

Lmao working at a grocery store that gets a lot of international travelers, there’s so many that are like what is wrong with your bs system of prices 😂 I so agree!!!

[@AshleyVHoney]

There’s nothing more embarrassing than being twenty years old working an office job and the boss invites everyone out to the bar for a drink after work and you have to inform your colleagues that you’re not old enough to attend. True story.

[@It-b-Blair]

Hmm, how bout going on a date and going to pay but all your cards declined because there was an automatic payment you forgot and all your accounts are actually overdrafted? Ooo, maybe suddenly getting explosive diarrhea (you thought was just gas) in a hot tub at the YMCA? Another more harrowing moment is accidentally moaning an ex’s name while in the throws with your new partner 😜

[@sciencenate]

Lol if that’s the worst that happens to you, you’ve lived a charmed life

[@KaitouKaiju]

You know you can just have a virgin drink right

[@smooshiebear80]

What’s really funny is when they look at you look at you like your dumb for ordering something non-alcoholic and say they won’t say anything, when you live in a not a drop state. It’s kinda sad, actually.

[@reputation8383]

I laughed so much st Simon recounting how he used to shout the hyms that i spilt a ftesh cup of tea over myself and my phone.

[@bastionsea2829]

This is literally the first time I've heard of lemonade being compared to Sprite I've always believed lemonade was made of lemon juice and sugar, that's why it's so popular as a start drink stand?

[@AccidentallyOnPurpose]

I grew up in the US, in school we had to stand if we were able to but we didn't have to put our hand over our heart of recite the pledge if we didn't want to and teachers couldn't do anything about it. Foreign exchange students only had to stand too, obviously because they aren't pledging to a country that isn't theirs, but standing is just showing respect.

[@viewer-of-content]

Their have been supreme court cases on this, and you don't have to do shit. Freedom of speach means you can flip off the flag and butcher the pledge if you want, but your teacher may not always find that funny. More serious cases have been about devout Christians believing the pledge of allegiance is a sin against god, (the whole false idols thing,) so you have to let them sit in the hallway while you pledge or the school could get sued te hell. I had like five kids in my class who always walked out because of religion.

[@Ladedadeda2]

Why do I need to respect your flag tho?

[@Nikephorus]

@@Ladedadeda2 If you don't like it go home! lol I assume that's the correct answer.

[@ponderin]

@@Ladedadeda2 well....if your standing in a u.s class room for whatever reason....I mean if I came to your country I'd show respect to your flag, weather you did or not, it's a symbol of the country and the country stands on the ones that have fallen.

[@connoronyoutube210]

@@ponderin Many Veterans agree making someone stand up and say the pledge is an infringement of the right to free speech.

[@dominiquepadilla1427]

When I worked at a grocery store we had a sugar tax for a few months in our county. They taxed 5 cents per ounce on any sugary drink. It was always fun to see peoples faces when they heard the price at checkout.

[@benjaminmalisheski6494]

Just for your entertainment Simon, the first line of the Pledge of Allegiance is, verbatim, "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America..." so yes, we do literally worship the piece of cloth, at least in our words, not that anyone who's saying it actually gives a single thought to what they're saying. We just kinda stand there for a minute and wait until intercom shuts up.

[@themoviedealers]

and the very next sentence is "and to the republic for which it stands," meaning you are pledging loyalty to the government and not a symbolic piece of cloth hanging on a stick.

[@C.L.Hinton]

@@themoviedealers But it's _"and_ to the Republic, for which it stands." So it's a pledge to both the literal flag _and_ the flag as a symbol.

[@HotDogTimeMachine385]

@@themoviedealers The government is LITERALLY SECONDARY in the pledge.

[@therevanchist1123]

@@HotDogTimeMachine385 the flag stands for and literally represents all 50 states and territories along with the original 13 colonies that is why it comes first. The Flag represents us the people. Why we say “ of the people, by the people, and for the people”

[@chitlitlah]

Well you don't say you pledge allegiance to the flag before you, so you're not necessarily pledging allegiance to a physical object. It's still kind of weird to specifically pledge allegiance to the flag as a symbol _as well as_ the thing that symbol represents, though.

[@Makkufurai]

An addition from Norway (in case anyone cares): We had to stand when the principal entered the classroom. We had to say "grace" before eating (in quotations because I'm not sure how similar of a "grace" it is to english or american schools). But that shit has pretty much gone the wayside now. We originally were supposed to call our teachers by their titles, not their first names. But that shit disappeared during my primary schooling (1999 - 2005).

[@thepezfeo]

4:06 google "Bellamy Salute" :D

[@joshm3484]

My parents said they used to have to pray in school, but it hasn't really been a thing here in at least the past 50 years. I say pray because apparently they did it at the beginning of the day, but not before eating.

[@maxbracegirdle9990]

We had to say "grace" at our Catholic school in NZ, and called our teachers "Mr or Mrs/Miss X." Though we had a drinking age of 18 meaning at the end of year ball for y13s, we all got drunk as hell

[@WreckedRectum]

I started school in 1995, we never used the title of the teacher, just their first name. We also never stood up when the teacher entered the classroom, except in 5th grade because our teacher made us. To be fair, he was the only teacher who had any semblance of control in our chaotic class. Also we never said grace before eating for our food or whatever. Only did that in kindergarten, but that was a Christian church kindergarten, and it was all a bit cooky (but at the time, you happily took whatever kindergarten which had availability).

[@sammyisboredagain]

I’m old enough to remember having to sing God save the Queen every morning before classes started. We had so many rude versions we tried to get away with 😂

[@OtakuUnitedStudio]

Having to account for sales tax isn't really that big of a deal when you do it every time you go shopping, and also opens up some interesting flexibility that you don't seem to have outside of the US. Prior to the beginning of the school year, many states have tax-free holidays where school, office, and art supplies, clothing, certain accessories, and basically anything that could be seen as necessary for school are sold with 0 tax. There are also certain things that don't have any sales tax to begin with, like health products. But yes, it's mainly due to national prices (with the occasional higher cost west of the Rockies) being used as gimmick by chain retailers and manufacturers. And when you deal with it your entire life, it doesn't really seem like much of a problem. It's totally understandable why it sucks for tourists and immigrants, but there are business advantages to it since the US is more comparable to the entire EU than to any one country in it.

[@kara0kech1ck]

School clothes and children's clothing do not have any VAT (sales tax) on them in the EU and UK anyway. There are a list of exempt items from VAT. It is much more confusing if you have so many variations between locations.

[@annfromma8456]

Sales tax depends on the state. For example, Massachusetts doesn't tax food, clothing and shoes. But there is tax on health items and just about everything else. Move up one state to New Hampshire and there is no sales tax. Confusing, ain't it.

[@cezra833]

we also only pay VAT on certain types of food so that essentials are always cheaper. Kids stuff and medicines are also free of VAT.

[@michaelb1761]

@@annfromma8456 It depends on the county as well, as many counties add their own sales tax. Typically it is a small amount like 0.25% to 1%, but San Francisco County was adding on 5.5% sales tax to the 7% state sales tax last time I was there which has been over 5 years now. They also added a service workers tax at restaurants to pay for all of the wonderful (sarcasm) programs they had to help service workers. Now add in the highest property taxes and state income tax in the US, why do any people live in SF?

[@kbahrt]

@@kara0kech1ck Also, there's a difference on the backend of sales tax vs VAT. VAT is designed to follow the products from start to end user, hence the refund the seller can get for the part they paid whoever they bought it from. US sales tax is pretty much end point only, so it doesn't affect warehouse stock or raw materials. Also, makes it easier for business crime, but we don't say that part out loud.

[@hilarymol6607]

The not-the-actual-price price tag thing has always bugged me. I know it's because each state has a different tax rate, but why the hell can't we simply update the prices on things to reflect/include the state tax? Maddening. Oh, and as for the Pledge of Allegiance, I had to do that as a kid from Kindergarten through the end of fifth or sixth grade. After that the government said "oh, whoops, making you do this is unconstitutional," and no more pledge every morning. There are some private (read: religion-inclusive) schools that still may have the students salute the flag every morning. America is way too 'murican for the majority of us at this point.

[@wallacem41atgmail]

Simple ... because the tax is on the 'transaction' and not on the item itself. It is collected at the point of sale which is why it's called a "sales" tax. I fail to understand why non-Americans find this strange or odd.

[@dragon3dnet]

I think the requirement of the Pledge of Allegiance differs greatly from place to place. Only a few years ago, I worked in a public school (grades 6-12) where they were required to do the pledge every day. However, when I was a student in Jr. High, they only asked us to do it once a week.

[@FlareonSky]

@@wallacem41atgmail the amount is determined by the price of the items, though? Not by number of transactions, time spent interacting with the cashier (aka cashier work time) or anything

[@wallacem41atgmail]

@@FlareonSky You are correct. Although the amount to be collected is determined by the purchase price of each individual item, the tax is considered to be on the "financial transaction" (activity) not the item(s) themselves. If, say, you were to purchase ten (10) different items, the prices of the items are first totaled and then the tax is applied to the total amount of the transaction. As it is collected at the point of sale, the term "sales tax" is frequently used. The merchant is prohibited (by law) from applying the tax individually on each item separately. Another example: I wish to trade my older vehicle for a newer one. The agent and I agree on the amount he is willing to allow me on my older one and what I'm willing to pay for his newer one. The difference is considered the "financial transaction" and is on what the "sales tax" will be based.

[@azwepay]

@@wallacem41atgmail Unless that older vehicle was leased. Leased vehicles in the US have different tax collection methods, but you don't pay an excess amount for the vehicle in tax while leasing, so there is no tax credit for the trade amount. I have seen many unhappy faces when people learn this. They shouldn't be mad though, they didn't overpay so they aren't entitled to a refund

[@jsbzoh6]

I don’t know if anyone has mentioned it but sales tax can vary by city inside of states. I used to work in a city in New Jersey that for economic reasons had the sales tax reduced from I believe 6.75% to 3.5%. Then some areas tax different goods differently: food is taxed less than electronics or toys, as an example.

[@ignitionfrn2223]

14:40 - Chapter 1 - Price tags that lie 20:55 - Chapter 2 - Cold turkey 27:35- Chapter 3 - The drinking age limit - Chapter 4 - - Chapter 5 - - Chapter 6 -

[@personzorz]

It ain't blaze without a 15 minute introduction

[@MinistryOfMagic_DoM]

You most certainly can get a driving license at 14 in some states in the US. Also, I had no idea lemonade wasn't supposed to be flat. We have "hard" lemonade with alcohol in it that is fizzy, but definitely not common to have the soft drink version be fizzy.

[@Pushing_Pixels]

Sprite and 7up are considered lemonade in my country. We don't really use the term soda, except for soda water, but we do use the terms fizzy drink and soft drink generically, or for flavours of soda that don't have specific names. Fizzy American style lemonade is called lemon squash.

[@myopinion2day]

​@@Pushing_PixelsI think this is the answer. People are calling sodas lemonade. For me a lemonade is freshly squeezed lemons into still water. And not some artificial stuff with bubbles. That other stuff is just sparkling water with lemon taste.

[@Pushing_Pixels]

@@myopinion2day Different countries and cultures use language differently. It's not a case of one or the other being right. We don't use the word soda here, other than as part of the names of specific drinks. We use different terms for different types of carbonated drinks. Most here would call squeezed lemons in still water "American-style lemonade", or lemon squash, or they might call it lemon water. We just use the word lemonade differently.

[@ginnyjollykidd]

S'more, or smore is a contraction of some more, as in "I want s'more." It is (yes, a biscuit) a graham cracker whole sheet split into half (2 squares), with the next inner layer a chocolate bar (Hershey) split in half. Innermost is a campfire - toasted marshmallow squished by everything else. It is quite sugary and chocolatey and gooey. Were it not for the fact you have to hold it, in my opinion you can ditch the graham cracker or eat it separately.

[@vickieholt7100]

Lemonade is not "flat". It has no carbination because it's in the category of juice drinks...like orange juice. We have lemon flavored soft drinks that are fizzy, but those are lemon flavore soft drinks. Not lemonade. 🙂

[@maledictionwolf]

The suffix "ade" refers to a carbonated beverage, by definition, before people started sticking it on random drinks like Gatorade because it sounds sporty. Orangeade=carbonated orange juice beverages like Orangina, lemonade=carbonated lemon juice, and in every English-speaking country except American that is what lemonade is. But then again, cider means a fermented fruit drink and Amercans use cider to refer to a type of apple juice....

[@Taragoola]

@@maledictionwolf Nerd.

[@brendaholcomb3187]

@@maledictionwolf Language changes. It doesn't stay frozen. The archaic meaning of "Terrific" was "inducing terror" so a hurricane would be terrific. I just google it and the definition is "of great size, amount, or intensity" so a "terrific hurricane" should still work, but I be most native speakers associate some positive nuance to the word "terrific".

[@nataliestanchevski4628]

@@maledictionwolf what's your source for -ade suffix designating carbonation? All the definitions for it that I've found say it means made from a fruit.

[@maledictionwolf]

@@brendaholcomb3187 correct, language changes, and in the American dialect of English--and ONLY the American dialect of English--lemonade refers to lemon juice. In all other English speaking countries, it refers to a carbonated lemon beverage, which is my point, and Danny's point. Just because Americans don't use the word lemonade to mean carbonated lemon drink that doesn't mean that the word has magically changed its meaning in every other part of the English-speaking world, and the suffix -ade retains it's original meaning of carbonated beverage in non-American English speaking countries, just as cider retains its original meaning of fermented fruit drink in the same regions.

[@bamacopeland4372]

We still have dry counties here in the US and there been times we had to go to a different county for epic beer runs. Also we have a couple of bars that sit on the border of two different states and that midnight one side has to close down alcohol sales everybody just moves into the other state continues drinking..

[@michaelgallagher3640]

Grew up on the R.I. border in Massachusetts & bars in Mass. would close at 11 & R.I. was 2a.m. You never rushed right home cuz the cops would wait at the border for the Drinkies to come back home

[@paulrouth5997]

You are right about underage kids getting into the Army. I'm from the U.S. and joined the Army in June of '71 and wound up in West Berlin. The Vietnam War was going on at the time and there was a draft, so probably not taking to close a look at the age of the volunteers (I had to get my parents to sign off on it since I joined at age 17) and one of my friends in my unit there had joined when he was 16, which was illegal. Chickens aren't strangled, their necks are wrung; completely different.

[@whatabouttheearth]

Now you can't sneak in underage they'll know, and it's 17 years and 8 months old to join and you can't go to combat unless you're 18. We had a guy at Ft. Hood mistakenly sent to Iraq under 18 and they straight up sent him back to the US.

[@anarchyantz1564]

Simon, as a Brit who went to school in the 70's and early 80's this brought back so many memories. Thank you. The junior school hall, shouting about Jesus cumming while having to try not to breath in the whiff of the plimsole sweaty feet smell the place was giving off (the hall was where the sports was done as well as morning "prayers" to the invisible man) as you were not allowed in the hall without a pair on (you had to change your shoes to be allowed in there) lest you make a mark on the Victorian glossed wooden flooring then be made to sit on the cold ass floor. Yup, no seats, not even allowed to sit on the benches with the hooks on the end as they were for PE. Thankfully all that forced religious crap was stopped when we got to Secondary School or what ever they call it these days.

[@jeremysiegel2961]

Gym floor polish is what that smell is.

[@anarchyantz1564]

@@jeremysiegel2961 Really? Wow, never knew that. To me it literally always smelled of well whiffy socks and plimsoles. In my nearly 50 years I genuinely never didnt consider it to be polish smell, as to me polish has a more...well a acrid smell.

[@pottsniffgrond8488]

I thought to myself how cool it was to have a 30+ minute blaze soon after I finish my shitty job and it turns out its 40% tangent 😂👌. You're still the best cocaine addict shouting at me on KZbin tho. Cheers, Factboi. 49, that's Numberwang!

[@Akren905]

Yeah starting to think he's a bit dusty during some videos lol

[@yootx]

Let's rotate the board!

[@JokerTONG]

Lemonade- Water, Lemons, Sugar. Fizzy drink- Carbonated Soda Sprite or 7UP - bicodbonated soda wirh lemon/lime flavor. Original 7UP- add Lithium for that Anti-Depresent UP feeling!

[@CMorseth]

Let's be fair here. The number of things we find normal and other countries find bizarre would take far longer than this video is.

[@madalice5134]

@@2lefThumbs Danny's life is hard enough, living chained in Simon's basement and all. Do we really want to put the poor guy through wading through the weirdness of the U.S?

[@madalice5134]

@@2lefThumbs I read it wrong. I thought you guys were saying Danny should do a deeper dive into U.S. oddities. My fault for comment scrolling on zero sleep after 2 days. Lol

[@williebauld1007]

C’mon TangentBoi we want the 10 minute Danny intros back! The whole standing for the pledge of allegiance screams CULT to me

[@noone-igloo]

I was almost totally certain you were pulling my leg with the whole "fizzy lemonade" thing, but damn. I had no idea.

[@DucNguyen-bd5ir]

So some parts of the US the driving age is 14. This was a concession for the farms and farm families they may require an extra hand in crop and animal maintenance. So in middle America, there are states you will see a child drive a tractor on public roads to get to the next area to do their work.

[@HEagle72]

You've never told a bigger obvious lie than "I think America is great" 🤣🤣 but mad respect for having the balls to say it with no pokerface at all lol

[@jimjohnson4072]

Found the 12 year old, bitching about America 😂😂🤦🏻‍♂️ The USA is a great place. Likely the best, in most metrics 🤷🏻‍♂️ I mean we literally saved Europe from Europe, TWICE. Without us, European socialist elitism, would simply be ran by Germany lol. Instead of the EU, without the USA 😂😂🤦🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️ But edgy dude! Yeah AMERICA is soooooooo bad. Tragedy so many foolishly, try with absolute desperation, to get here..

[@peterking8586]

You can have state, county, city, special (mall) sales tax. I had to program my wife’s cash register every time she did a craft show in a different place. A card will be declined if the device (gas/petrol pump) can’t establish a connection to the provider. I had a $20 purchase declined despite knowing the account had over a few thousand dollars in the account🤬 On some purchases tax is applied on where you live. I bought a car, the tax was applied in “P” county (my address at the time), if I had used my permanent address the tax would have be about 2% higher. That is significant on a $30k purchase.

[@ronaldgillespie5714]

Something I was surprised at in the USA when I was traveling around the east coast was that everything, even construction equipment have American Flag Stickers on them. Homes have more than their fair share of flags on poles on them too.

[@KaitouKaiju]

The US flag is applied more like a brand than a symbol for a nation

[@SolGladio]

I moved to the US when I was around 19. Going from being of legal drinking age in the UK to suddenly having to have someone else buy alcohol for me again for 2 years was a bizarre thing.

[@LloxieFox]

I have this playful argument with my European friends all the time- lemonade and sprite/7-up are NOT even remotely the same thing! I don't understand how Europe got the two mixed up, but they're very different! :P

[@familywilliams4058]

Growing up in a state without sales tax, my first experience with it was when I was visiting my sister in another state and wanted to buy a gift for my mother. I cried at the register when the total was more than I had. I didn't even know that sales tax was a thing before then.

[@craigbroad23]

This was awesome Simon. I could relate to very similar school memories, and the explanation of the British view on people that hang flags outside their house was bang on the money. You legend!!

[@marcpaxton8284]

I grew up in Kansas and was able to get my driver’s license at age 14, but it was limited to trips to school, work or church. That being said, most people just drove wherever they wanted and I never heard of anyone getting a ticket.

[@Shuang_Shuang]

The video was actually an hour longer, but Simon rage quit after the lemonade issue 🍋

[@jackl4laughs]

Nope, Sam edited out the next 30 mins of Simon's mind being blown then ordering some "American" lemonade online to see what's wrong with Americans.

[@ekc_sc.722]

I'm American and even at the age of five I thought reciting the pledge of allegiance and singing every morning was mental. I still do.

[@ekc_sc.722]

@jibjones123 I always refused to do it. My teachers were pissed all the time and sent me to the office until finally the principal informed them that it was my Constitutional right to not recite or sing, lol. My mom was a teacher in another school and she told me I didn't have to do it if I didn't like it so I knew it was a bunch of bull from day 1. 😂

[@thecellulontriptometer4166]

In my state(Wisconsin), a parent or legal guardian can bring their child into a bar and the child can drink in their presence. This has led to some pretty extreme confrontations in bars over the years where a parent gives their kid a beer and someone at the bar gets into it with them for doing so.

[@MediocreAverage]

We have similar rules in the UK. And in Europe it's not unusual for kids to have a small drink.

[@pr0xZen]

My participation of standing for the flag, got shelved when an American in every sense but citizenship, was morbidly assassinated on orders from Saudi MBS, and our country did absolutely F all even though our own intelligence confirmed this was what happened. Even worse, they didn't even produce some stern words or a bit of finger wagging - instead our "leaders" and their cronies responded by doubling down on tag-team tossing SA and MBS's salad even harder. I know Khashoggi didn't have US citizenship quite yet, but his kids and partner did... The spirit of the pledge of allegiance, which he swore damn near every day - to me, it was severely soiled and revealed for its false bravado, hypocracy and one-way loyalty and support that day. Maybe one day it might regain its honor, its worthiness of trust and faith in my heart. But it is not this day.

[@grilledleeks6514]

You can pretend like legal citizenship doesn't matter... but you merely seem like a child when doing it. Citizenship is what allows a nation to defend you.

[@dexocube]

MBS is a real POS. He's got his own death squad.

[@joshm3484]

The idea of a 10 year old pledging allegiance to anything is bizarre.

[@ajstevens1652]

Well said. It seems more like a strange ritual of meaningless words.

[@the-chillian]

The drinking laws are one of those things that varies by state. Back in the day, different states had different drinking ages. The federal government put a stop to that around 1980 by tying federal highway funding to the drinking age. Raise the drinking age to 21, or we won't pay for your highways, was the deal. Universally this applies to the purchase of alcohol. Laws vary on whether you can _drink_ alcohol before then. Where it's allowed, it's usually at home and with parental permission. And it's always allowed in a religious context.

[@ObiWahnKnobi]

Hey, let's create a religion centered around drinking a lot of beer.

[@the-chillian]

@@ObiWahnKnobi I'm pretty sure ancient Mesopotamian religion was like that. They even had a goddess of beer, Ninkasi. One reason we've been able to reproduce their beer is a tablet was discovered with a prayer to her that described every step of the process. It was basically a recipe. It's rather different from the beer we're used to though.

[@sparky4878]

I found it amazing that in “the land of the free” can’t cross the road where I like. Also Simon, we are patriotic we just don’t need to be forced to be so.

[@Guy-cb1oh]

What the heck are you talking about. I cant drive to work without almost hitting a stupid J-walker. Theyre everywhere.

[@whatabouttheearth]

@@Guy-cb1oh But it's technically illegal. What I think is dumb is in the US you can get a DUI for riding a bicycle drunk.

[@NYmomAdrienne3915]

As an American: we need to use the metric system, incorporate the tax in the price, stop things like shorts made of a flag pattern, and drink at 18. From my travels, everyone else needs more air conditioning 😉

[@grumpyoldnord]

Apparently we also need to carbonate our lemonade, because this is the first time I've ever heard of it. And I'm 40. :|

[@NYmomAdrienne3915]

@@grumpyoldnord I had it in London..ours is better in US, lol

[@Stonegolem6]

We also need to start shouting hymns, apparently.

[@NYmomAdrienne3915]

@Lala Emm not really. Put solar panels on the roof and it will run the central air. It’s very humid in Long Island, NY in summer and we often have heat waves with many waves of 35 degrees Celsius for weeks straight. Every nation has good and bad, Germany for instance. Great airports (especially for us smokers, the thing you go into that sucks the smoke up into a vent is great) but sandals and socks???

[@clay4816]

The most surprising thing of this entire video “lunch for 1 hour”. I was lucky if I got out of the lunch line and still had time to sit down before lunch end bell rang.

[@dogcat2994]

I am fairly new to this guy and...in the last few days I've watched One hundred and eleven of his videos. And I have a full time job. What am I doing...? I totally get this guy and I'm a welcome recipient of his information

[@ExperimentIV]

oh, i was worried magic spoon stopped sponsoring you for some foolish reason. im probably never going to eat it in my life, but they’re your most unhinged ads so it’s all good

[@the-chillian]

Oh, about sales tax: Danny said that with VAT merchandise is already taxed at 'every stage of production', but that's not true in the US. Sales tax is paid only for retail sales. Wholesale transactions are NOT taxed. Which, if Danny got it right, may be why retail prices tend to be cheaper over here.

[@BoyKissBoy]

VAT _is_ applied to all sales, but companies get to deduct the VAT they pay for anything they buy from the VAT they owe for anything they sell. So unless something is going seriously wrong with the company's finances, VAT is really only applied once.

[@skyhawk_4526]

The whole turkey pardoning bit had me laughing my ass off.

[@rubiconnn]

The idea of fizzy lemonade blew my mind. I had no idea it existed lol

[@jamesslick4790]

IKR?

[@williampeterson3498]

As an American I’m telling you it’s fucking great😂😂

[@BrettWidner]

As an American, I fucking loved this episode. XD And yeah, I've been given detention, sent to the Principle's office, and threatened with suspension as a kid for refusing to say the pledge and hold my hand over my heart. lol Also, I actually think the age for enlistment should be made 21 so recruiters can't prey on gullible highschoolers.

[@garyperkins9254]

That way we can force more high school graduates into predatory loan practices to get in college... I like it!

[@afuturemoth]

I’m another definitely not bothered American. Although, I know some shit about The UK, and they’ve also got nationalist dickheads with Union Jacks in the back garden. Lol. Weirdly I grew up in the south and never got any guff for not standing for the pledge or acknowledging prayers before sports and stuff. Also I hope Simon knows we lead the world in more than just school shootings (which…those are kids man, not terribly funny) like number of adults who believe in actual angels, or that we make almost all the porn.

[@greendragon4058]

Oh good I got a sister somewhere cuz I didn't do it either

[@blakekenley1000]

I enlisted at 17, and I can agree that the age that's of enlistment should be raised. I turned 19 in a total shithole.

[@fusionsigh]

I agree it should be 21

[@zafireshadows9060]

I remember opting out of the pledge a few times... In the south... I got glared at by my classmates and told that I HAD to do it. So I just stood with my hand on my heart, rolling my eyes