Things Australians Find Totally Normal But Others Find Bizarre

Signup for a free trial to see why Backblaze is recommended by Inc. Magazine, go to www.backblaze.com/blaze Thank you Backblaze for sponsoring the video.
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @brainblaze6526
GET AN EPIC BEARD: beardblaze.com
BECOME A LEGEND (with ease) by joining my Legendary Legends Newsletter: t.co/jedug2vS4Q?amp=1
This video is #sponsored by Backblaze.
Simon's Social Media:
Twitter: / simonwhistler
Instagram: / simonwhistler
Love content? Check out Simon's other KZbin Channels:
Warographics: / @warographics643
MegaProjects: / @megaprojects9649
SideProjects: / @sideprojects
Into The Shadows: / intotheshadows
Today I Found Out: / todayifoundout
Highlight History: / @highlighthistory
Brain Blaze: / @brainblaze6526
Casual Criminalist: / thecasualcriminalist
Decoding the Unknown: / @decodingtheunknown2373
Places: / @places302
Astrographics: / @astrographics-ve4yq

[@brainblaze6526]

Signup for a free trial to see why Backblaze is recommended by Inc. Magazine, go to www.backblaze.com/blaze Thank you Backblaze for sponsoring the video.

[@DeidreL9]

People who think we’re a weird version of the US rather than the UK don’t realise we are literally Monty Python Land. Nothing again Texans or the US South, but we’re not them. We are the feral children of British sarcasm.

[@Gothhippie667]

That's a huge reason Australians and U.S. Georgians get along so well. We're both penal colonies. Good to meet ya, cousin!!

[@EveryFairyDies]

Bloody oath, mate!

[@lexand_ecarg]

What a poetic way to describe it 😂😂

[@arianamaria_]

Ive always called Australia the feral love child of the UK and US 😂 your culture is such a random mix of the two that makes no discernible difference

[@justindenney-hall5875]

@@arianamaria_ Hell Australia even had its own "Wild West" era with outlaw folk heroes, in America we had Billy the Kid and in Australia they had Reckless Kelly.

[@sambathelionking]

As an Australian, no everything is not literally trying to kill you. It can kill you, but it isn't trying.

[@alanhilder1883]

The other day, while working someone's switchboard, the redback didn't come near me and I stayed out of his way.

[@fuzzymurdermittens]

It's an important distinction. Sure, most things CAN kill you here, but the overwhelming majority of the wildlife and dangerous plants just want to hang out and not be bothered. If I recall correctly, the only thing that actively hunts people on the regular here is the crocs. Everything else is just unfortunate cross-species miscommunications and jump scares. Even the sharks only hunt people when they don't know how garbage we are compared to other ocean meat.

[@spiderbellywildnails]

As a living Australian I can safely say I've not been killed yet!

[@Luubelaar]

Or it can't actually kill you, but it definitely wants to.

[@sambathelionking]

@Luubelaar also an important distinction. The things that are trying to kill you can't. Kill or kill not there is no try.

[@SnowTheBard]

Okay I should perhaps clarify - dropbears are a half-joke. You see male koalas in mating season go really feral and can absolutely wreck your weekend. Having one leap on you from the trees or chase you is definitely going to make your day the worst. That's where the joke of mythical "dropbears" came from; as always a grain of truth which is perhaps scarier than the joke.

[@TGPDrunknHick]

hell the little fuckers fall out of trees while sleeping get startled awake and react agressively. might not be a literal bear but, they are scary little shits.

[@mickhawkes125]

Don't worry about it, he is an arrogant Pom who thinks he is better than us

[@buzzinbilby4308]

Dont be naive buddy, nothin mythical about it.. 😡

[@TheCeleron450]

But then again if you fell out of your home you’d be pissed off and lash out at anyone nearby.

[@8BitShadow]

"Isn't in australia they have like good currency? Don't they have like a strong currency? ... I thought they had lots of money?" Unironically the best (unintentional) joke in the entire video.

[@regulargoat7259]

Aussie here. I really do need to point out that getting harmed by our wildlife is shockingly rare and it’s frustrating how much people’s exaggerations are presented as fact. I’ve gone on many a bushwalk, been to the beach a ton, etc and I’ve never been harmed by anything more than a mosquito or leech. - The only snake I saw when I lived quite literally across the road from dense bushland (I lived there for about 12 years) was a non-venomous one. - Wearing enclosed shoes and not hugging a paper bark tree is a surefire way to not get bitten by a spider - stonefish aren’t found everywhere in australia, box jellies arent around at all times of the year or in all locations and there are less shark attacks here than in America (also sharks aren’t the crazy killing machines the media paints them ass) - ive never even seen a wild bluering octopus - crocodiles are mainly a northern thing - gympie-gympie is found only in northern NSW and southern Queensland, so just dont go bushwalking there - ive been in the presence of wild kangaroos before and they are more likely to run away than attack - our hospitals are stocked with every type of antivenom you could possibly need, unlike places like america, which means you are far less likely to die from a venomous animal here anyway I could go on and on. It is insane to me that people call australia dangerous. America is far scarier, with moose, bison, bears, mountain lions, wolves, etc as *well* as snakes and spiders. And overseas animals can have rabies, so a tiny little bat with a bite you can’t even feel could straight up kill anyone in America. Rabies isn’t a thing in Australia, meanwhile.

[@lukes6868]

I got to agree, in Australia, things bite you, In the USA, Things Eat you. But wherever you live, you cope with the natural surroundings and think other countries are full of danger.

[@glennwatson]

@@lukes6868I saw more venomous snakes in the United States than in Australia. Most venomous snakes are weary of humans.

[@NPC-fl3gq]

Nope. All potential mass immigrants should be warned that you will literally die within days of getting here. Not worth it. Stay where you are. Cheers.

[@0Zolrender0]

Hi there Aussie too. I however lived in the Outback (Alice Springs NT) google it..... I have been bitten by a red Back Spider. Went to hospital and didn't even get anti ven0om. Told to harden the fuck up. Recovered a few days later. I have been trampled by a charging wild Camel. Again went to hospital and was told I was lucky to be alive. I have been to Darwin once an swam in the ocean. Touched briefly a boxed jellyfish. Another trip to the hospital. It sting like hell. This time it took them ages to get those stingers off me. So thats my experience of 51 years in Australia, most of it in the real Outback.

[@lukes6868]

@@glennwatson True, the dangerous ones normally leave you alone.

[@rickbarry2952]

As an Australian viewer, I want to give a huge shout out to Lorelai for throwing in lots of little things just for us. I don't think many internationals will fully get the Sammy J clip or just how annoying dealing with Telstra really can be, but ... IYKYK

[@EveryFairyDies]

I love that Sammy J song. And you're welcome, mate!

[@TheKrispyfort]

RIP Benita 😭

[@bencodykirk]

Lived Down Under (Under a rock, apparently) for 27 years - don't know what a "Sammy J" is. But I can agree that dealing with Telstra is worse than when I got a root canal.

[@uraniumcranium2613]

As an Australian I dont think its necessary to let everyone know you are Australian lol

[@DEVILTAZ35]

You don’t even need to use Telstra anymore.

[@matthewlrutledge]

So I’m an American who lived in Australia for 4 years and did my master’s degree there studying wildlife, including venomous organisms. Australia does have a wealth of venomous organisms, though whether it has more than its neighbours in SE Asia is arguable, and the reason for its fame for it over those countries may simply come down to English language publicity and greater numbers of scientific publications. The other main contributing factor is that as an island, Australia’s wildlife had relatively fewer common ancestors than many other places, and many of those ancestors were venomous. So when those organisms diversified and speculated, many of their descendants retained venom. As an example, the overwhelming majority of Australian snake species are Elapids (same family as cobras and coral snakes). Since the ancestral line was venomous, when the snakes diversified over time to fill different niches, most of them retained venom. The US on the other hand has only three Elapid species, a few dozen venomous Vipers, and the rest are nearly all nonvenomous or very mildly venomous Colubrids. If you want to know more about it, read up on Wallace’s Line. It’s a really interesting topic in evolutionary biology. Also also, microdosing Vegemite is the way to go, and gympie-gympie is a nightmare.

[@jamesalbrecht418]

Ok mate so this is your opinion after a master's fuck off mate did you even step foot out of the class room

[@terminal_atlas]

>very mildly venomous The seppo has acclimatised

[@mickhawkes125]

Don't worry about it, he is an arrogant Pom who thinks he is better than us

[@kingofthejungle3833]

we have 9 of the top ten deadiest (or most venomous, I'm not sure which but there is a difference) snakes

[@Marc83Aus]

So in november my NBN went down, I called the ISP over a dozen times to be told every time "Oh its fine on our end, has to be an NBN issue, we'll log it and they'll get to it eventually", finally in MARCH when I called to tell them to shove it the actual technician who answered the phone finally bothered to do a simple remote diagnosis on the equipment, in 10 minutes she found the router was broken and had a new one sent the next day. Nobody was told to shove it but they still owe me 3 months of connection fees not to mention the 90 bucks a month i wasted for cable tv. Im so happy to get my 12 megabit download speed and 0.8 mbit upload back. Its almost fast enough to watch youtube on.

[@bmanone]

It frustrates me when I hear stories like this and the blame is always put on the NBN, ISPs are responsible for determining if the issue is at the user end. That’s literally their job. NBN run the backbone

[@thekrutchinator]

12 MB you lucky bastard!... try 5MB 80km nth of Brissy

[@Marc83Aus]

@@thekrutchinator Thats kb, small b, equivalent to 1.5 MB. And paying 30% more than I was 2 years ago when i was getting 50% more speed on ADSL. affordable high speed fibre my ass.

[@thekrutchinator]

@@Marc83Aus Ouch!

[@kitty-dc1nl]

12 flipping months of backwards and forwards between Telstra and NBN with no service. I was crying in frustration at the store in the end ..which worked btw(every other time they told me I had to call them). So ugly tears for the win, fixed same day

[@taylorslade961]

Lorelei is literally the funniest editor on this channel. She deserves a raise.

[@EveryFairyDies]

Yay, more mushrooms for me!

[@christinebenson518]

​@@EveryFairyDiesDon't forget the Magic Spoon dust on your birthday.

[@EveryFairyDies]

@@christinebenson518 WOOOOO!

[@DeathByBlonde1]

I am here for Lorelei!!! The Holden Ute with the Chev badge had me crying. I own a Pontiac G8 which is on the Holden Commodore platform and here in the States everybody is changing out their Pontiac and Chev badges for the Holden ones. 😂😂😂

[@EveryFairyDies]

@@DeathByBlonde1 That's hilarious. Though I'm a Ford gal.

[@erinjanssen8336]

Australian here - What in the heck is a disposable BBQ?! You have a BBQ and you throw it away...? What?! I can't compute this. How does that work? What is it made out of? Is it metal? Huh? That sounds so wasteful! Most people in Australia do like Vegemite. I don't, but I am always teased as being un-Australian. It's very salty. Not to my tastes, but everyone else in my household loves it. As for the warm beer - NO! We make fun of people from England for having warm beer as they allegedly drink it at room temperature, which to us, means warm. We have ours ice-cold. Literally! Many of our beer taps have ice-build up on the outside of them. And no, Fosters is awful. No one drinks that here. We tried to fix the internet but rolling out the NBN (National Broadband Network), where fibre to the house was going to be rolled out everywhere, but there was a change of government early in this process and they decided to integrate this with the existing 50-60 year old copper network, which is badly degraded. The rural and remote areas are EXTREMELY badly affected by the internet and there are places that simply do not have access to the internet at all, not via mobile signals, not by NBN or wi-fi, not satellite, not at all. This issue taps into a lot of socioeconomic, sociopolitical and even racial issues in Australia, so it's a much bigger problem than buffering on video speeds, for example. It means children in far-remote communities are not able to access the same levels of education as suburban children, medical information is delayed or very hard to get, communication is extremely strained, ability to access services is very difficult. To compound this issue, it is often Indigenous communities that are the most adversely affected by this, due to the high populations of Indigenous peoples in remote and far-remote communities. This is a big problem.

[@EveryFairyDies]

A disposable BBQ is basically a foil tray with coals in it and a grill over top. Bush fire fodder if ever there was one. I also do not like Vegemite but I wasn't born here, so I haven't been eating it since before I was in the womb. I wanted to explain the warm beer joke, but figured it would be too many interjections... I have FFTP, and it STILL goes down on me regularly. And not in the fun way.

[@erinjanssen8336]

@@EveryFairyDies yeah, that sounds really dangerous for Australia. It makes sense that they don’t have them here or they aren’t common at the very least. The beer thing, yeah, I thought people would jump all over this too but I was too lazy to read through the comments, so I thought I’d say something anyway. We have FTTP here too. It was initially pretty bad but it seems to have improved recently. We are still trailing behind most of the world.

[@stephenpartridge686]

@@EveryFairyDies never heard of a disposable BBQ either, I also don't like and have never liked Vegemite and get called un-Australian for this as well but I know lots of people who love it and it is very popular despite what foreigners claim....

[@iowafarmboy]

Although looks like starlink is available in Australia. I have it here in Rural US, and love it! No where near as fast as direct fiber, but certainly fast enough for 99% of what you do.

[@u-neekusername4430]

@@EveryFairyDies Haha, came to describe the BBQ, silly me. Got one in NZ, in Wellington, to take to the beach (yeah I know, n embarrassingly YES I was sober), couldn't even keep the damn thing lit, just blew away every spark or ember. At least it was cold marinated tofu & raw veg & not raw chicken.

[@SireSquish]

Tricking a pom with the dropbear thing is a rite of passage. We learn it in primary school.

[@mickhawkes125]

Haha! yeah! the poms think they are soooo much better than us, but they are truly idiots

[@headwerkn]

Australian here. Can confirm “f-king Telstra!” is the third most commonly used phrase in the country, after ‘Yeah nah’ and ‘Nah yeah.’

[@ehxjsjd4553]

I keep saying yeah nah when playing games with American friends, and it's hilarious how confused they get.

[@MegaRazorback]

Well to be fair to Telstra as a fellow Aussie, they have ZERO control over the NBN, within the first 6 months of our house being hooked into the NBN it died, turned out to be the line that went into the house itself and normally Telstra would be the one to replace that but because the NBN had been installed into the area and took over the wires the tech said "Even if i wanted to fix this i legally can't because the work that i need to fix/replace is NBN work and Telstra can't touch it" but hey that's what you get when the Gov decides to have the NBN as it's own entity and not under the telecoms who actually know what the fuck they are doing.

[@85superHamster]

The thing no one seems to mention in these kinds of videos is that the lawn is out to get you. If you ever notice a patch of grass that no one is walking on barefoot, it has bindis (or bindii). They WILL get you, and you WILL regret taking off your shoes. Ive never been bitten by a spider, hardly ever seen a snake, but FML the number of times bindis have made me regret everything is far too high to count. For the uninformed, bindis are basically cactus spines hidden in regular lawn. If you enjoy walking on cactuses, you'll love bindis.

[@robinkelly1770]

Courtesy South Africa...bl**dy awful things that grow anywhere and can germinate even after 7 years

[@arjovenzia]

How they manage to be so painful yet tiny is incredible. But the real nasty one are caltrops, like tyre spikes, the are shaped so there is always a spike straight up. And these are spikes, 5-10mm long. Easily goes through the sole of your shoe. Happily draw blood.

[@NPC-fl3gq]

And blue-bottles are like sea-bindis on steroids. They won't kill you, they'll just make sure that your quota of four letter words for the day is taken care of.

[@davejob630]

True!

[@stuartdparnell]

Oh yeah, hate bindi patches. Walked on em when I was a kid, learned quick to always have shoes/thongs on.

[@blinddave8328]

Massive shout out to cousin George, without whom this video would have been far less awesome

[@thejudgmentalcat]

You and me Dave (about Australia)...same page

[@whaynelongjhonsondanglesmo986]

The editor has thrown in a few shits and giggles too.

[@awesomelephant42]

is there AI for reading randomly edited in captions in videos or do you just miss all the editors memes? Lorelai was not amused xD

[@muadeeb]

She typically tells him ahead of time

[@AnotherOther99]

Now do one about English people coming here and complaining about everything... It's too hot, I can't breathe, the bushfires have surrounded me and I can't escape. Whinge, whinge, whinge.

[@joshmcintyre5868]

Hello! Rural Aussie boy here. For the internet part- it is hell. I lived about an hour away from the nearest large-ish city. NBN was started in the early 2000’s I belive? And the area I lived didn’t even have the nbn till 2023. By which point, I had mastered the arts of low frame rate for my games- and thankfully the nbn sucks anyway so nothing changes!

[@carriocamatey3183]

We live on a farm in northern NSW. Up until a year ago we were on wireless broadband requiring a $1000 booster to get 4g. Terrible service! Went Starlink in Jan 23 & haven’t looked back👍

[@rob1733]

I just looked up Starlink in Aus and I see that Telstra now re-sells it?!? OMG...

[@tealkerberus748]

Come to Australia in our winter. The snakes and spiders are dormant, the bushfire risk is negligible, and you'll love it here. Also, even when the wildlife are active, they actually don't want to mess with you. They'd much rather leave you alone so long as you leave them alone. The climate and the trees are much more likely to kill you than the fauna.

[@TheWombat2012]

Vegemite; the old advertising used to say “a mere smear is enough”. You only need a SMALL amount spread on toast with plenty of butter. Foreigners usually make the mistake of using it like jam and putting heaps of it on which even Australians don’t do.

[@hatman1234]

Absolutely agree, a smear is more than enough as it tastes awful. I know few fellow Aussies who actually like it.

[@schroecat1]

I actually like my vegemite to be thick like jam... and I eat it with jam as well.

[@lukes6868]

@@schroecat1 With lots of butter on top of it.

[@M1ggins]

I always found it a weak version of marmite and always had to add more to get it to taste right.

[@nevkirkham7657]

@@hatman1234 Aussie here and have it most days on toast with butter for breakie. Oh a sanga with cheese and lettuce was a school favorite 🙂

[@jaredeiesland]

Watching the editor vs writer battle going on over Simon is absolutely my favorite new thing about this channel.

[@EveryFairyDies]

And I always make a point to tell Dave about my snarky comments, since he can't read them.

[@BonelessKid]

​@EveryFairyDies it was somehow funnier when I remembered he wouldn't see it!

[@hoyks1]

The editor will always win.

[@tubensalat1453]

@@EveryFairyDies Since I can't imagine Simon watching his own videos I assume he's largely unaware about them.

[@EveryFairyDies]

@@tubensalat1453 He is. But we know. We know....

[@PanicGoat]

Hey, Fellow Aussie here.. Just wanted to inform fellow Aussies about Starlink As I use it and have used it for almost a year now.. I live in sunshine Coast, Queensland (so not remote at all) and I average around 150-200mbps down and 15-20mbps up (Ping around 20-40 which in 99% of games I don't notice).. Only really gets poor in severe weather (poor being below 100mbps) and only ever dropped out in that hectic lightning storm time at the start of the year and only for an hour or so (power was out longer but hooked up a genny and worked a treat).. Biggest downside IMO is price, I got a refurb kit at $300 and pay $140p/m so it's much cheaper to stick to the 'National Broken Network' but i as a gamer and large consumer of the interwebs (hundreds-thousand GBp/m easy) don't see myself going back to aussie net until some big changes happen. Anyway hope this helps some people and Have a good one! :)

[@MILLlWATT]

As an Aussie from Newcastle, I've heard nothing but fantastic things about Starlink! As quick as I am to criticise Musk and his questionable business decisions - it really seems like he's nailed it with this one, I reckon he should focus more on internet services bc I can genuinely see him revolutionising the game. I also hear from those waaaay outback who rely on it and they seem to love it. PS. a good friend of mine comes from the sunny coast and he thinks it's pretty similar down here

[@telemeister]

The drop bear joke is actually us describing how insanely deadly it is and then tell you it is a joke after having terrified you. They exist and the joke is terrifying you and then making you think they aren’t actually real

[@Natsirt666]

FYI, Redback Spiders are the ones you find under the toilet seat on outdoor bathrooms/dunnys. Not Funnelwebs. That would be truly horriffic.

[@makavelismith]

Margarine, instead of butter? Yuek.

[@RavingKats]

Any toilet spider is bad news imho

[@makavelismith]

@@RavingKats I have arachnophobia... But margarine?

[@RavingKats]

@@makavelismith 😂 it's pretty popular stuff up here in Canada too. Butter is for recipes and I Can't Believe it's Not Butter, Becel, or Country Harvest margarine is for everything else lol

[@makavelismith]

@@RavingKats I have lived most of my life here in Ireland, but I was born in Calgary. I just remember not liking margarine at all. You need those milk fats.

[@cozza248]

As an Australian, Vegemite fking rocks. Vegemite and cheese sandwiches, Vegemite on toast, Vegemite just licked off a knife. Cant go wrong

[@jarrodbright5231]

Japanese friends love it too. Apparently it's like taking a hit of soy sauce straight from the bottle

[@ClaireJorkowski]

Do you remember the vegemite chocolate that was available 10 years ago.

[@Darkinu2]

As long as the knife isn't serrated 😂😂

[@user-md2zp5xb8i]

It sounds similar to marmite and I love that with cheese and toast, I'd definitely try it

[@ShethTora]

@@ClaireJorkowskiI use to eat Vegemite and Nutella (well the home brand version) on toast years before that came out.

[@rhys0564]

Also lets not forget the mid sized the birds which will happily take you on in a 1on1 if you so happen to wander in the general vicinity of their nesting tree. Magpies and Plovers do not hold back!

[@oldcynic6964]

... and the kookaburras which take a delight in raiding your barbecue and zooming off with whatever they can grab.

[@NedJeffery]

There are zero land based predators in Australia. No bears, no tigers, no hippopotamuses. Maybe an ill tempered dingo or 2. But they are no scarier than your average pet pooch.

[@TheScreamMan]

For the record: I'm Australian, I'm 44 and i have never been bitten by a super poisonous anything. People need to chill the fuck out.

[@kaymarrand9970]

Ah! See what you did there. Or... do Australian plants actually bite? 😰

[@dangingerich2559]

You've just cursed yourself to get bitten by something venomous within the next 48 hours.

[@asmo1313]

you don`t remember do you? You were bitten when you tried to put vegemite on the very big spider that turned up at the barbeque.

[@TheScreamMan]

@@kaymarrand9970 No, we're fine. I'd never heard of that plant TBH, but then i live in the middle of Sydney. :)

[@droomzy]

I like that you put the qualifier "SUPER poisonous" indicating that you've sustained plenty of poisons that fortunately didn't do you all the way in 😅 can tell you Aussies are a hearty people!

[@maddiethomas5892]

5:40 I once said, "I literally died". My papa said, "I'm not paying for your funeral ". The man is a menace. 😂

[@insertianameia2224]

I'll admit I use it for emphasis because I know it bothers people. I use air quotes for both that and because I like to and anyone that doesn't like it can get bent. Lmao

[@maddiethomas5892]

@@insertianameia2224 😅

[@morrigan908]

​@@insertianameia2224Being done for sarcasm is just fine. What bothers me is the valley girl (or guy) who says, "Like, oh my God, I will like literally die if he asks me!" You just know that they're too dumb to know what they're actually saying.

[@insertianameia2224]

@@morrigan908 that in itself is a stupid take.

[@Nianfur]

White Tail Spiders can cause necrosis, including loss of limbs. Also, you're forgetting our ants... They can jump and 1/10 people can have anaphylaxis shock when stung. :)

[@muffinandme1]

From 2008 until late 2014 I used to live in a tiny weatherboard house in Warragul, Victoria that I am sure was the National headquarters for whitetails. I had never been bitten before we moved there. First time I wS bitten was after the Black Saturday bushfire on the right hand side of my back. Not a pleasant experience. The next time I was bitten in three time, on either side of my back and on my lower left leg. It had crawled into bed with me . The leg was worst because I think I rolled on it causing a deeper bite. It felt like someone had lit a match in my leg. The third time was on my face and that was lanced under anaesthia in hospital. Do not miss them at all. My husband took to spaying down the outside of the house every six months and you should have seen the amount that pored out.

[@Nianfur]

@@muffinandme1 I knew one fellow who had to burn a bite wound out with acid as no treatment was stopping the gradual spread of necrosis. Another person got s so sick they couldn't work for two years. Those white tall spiders are no joke.

[@TheLissie09]

It’s the Redback spider you’ll find under the toilet seat, they won’t kill you but the bite does hurt. The spider of concern is the Funnel web, it will hide in your shoes, or hide in the clothing that was dropped on the floor. So check your shoes before you put them on and don’t leave your clothes in the floordrobe.

[@jesarablack1661]

For note, if bitten by the Redback spider, get your butt to the hospital, only 1 person has died from the bite (or rather complications from the bite, it caused a large abscess and infection) in the last roughly 70 years... because that is how long ago the antivenin was developed, so get it treated, it's not snakebite level of emergency, but still get it treated so you don't end up like him.

[@virginiatressider5753]

I just thought I should mention, because it's hilarious, that a known side-effect of a redback bite is priapism: a painful, non-sexual erection that can last for hours. According to the NHS, treatment may include using a needle to drain blood from your penis, which is done while the area is numbed under local anaesthetic tablets or injections directly into your penis surgery to drain the blood through a tiny cut, done while you're asleep under general anaesthetic Left untreated it can cause permanent damage to your todger.

[@brettevans278]

Lorelei is hilarious and awesome! 😂😂😂

[@Aemirys]

I heartedly second that!

[@ronaldmartin2666]

Yea I love that this channel perfectly includes the personality of all three of the creators. And Lorelei is the most mysterious

[@GrimFandango92]

Outdid herself on this one - bravo! 👏

[@9156j]

Agreed! Lorelei is brilliant!

[@AldrickExGladius]

One of the best editors on the internet!

[@vlamm676]

Lorelei had become my new favourite editor by a mile. The way she responded to Dave's script with her edits and slipped in replies was so hilarious! Keep up the amazing work Lorelei!

[@IanAlcorn]

Indeed!

[@EveryFairyDies]

Aw, thanks champion!

[@makavelismith]

She's my wife.

[@rodneyfaulkner7453]

Thank you, Dave and Simon - The funnel web spider will not get you in the toilet as they live in the ground - But the Red Back will defiantly get you - as for 25c that is a pleasant night where I work in the "Pilbara" in the north of western Australia. - Thankfully i am FIFO to escape the 47 to 50c days. As for distances, when we plan our Regional Exploration Camp, we drive 390km to buy food and then return the 390km in the same day and do not see one house on the drive. Love your work

[@finrothsmith7995]

I had what we called "The Battle Spit" for a BBQ. My friend who was a mechanical engineer just decided to make one for me. It was a gargantuan metal framed and galvanized iron structure. The stainless steel spike was about 2+ meters long. It could hold a lamb, small pig, chunk of beef and a chicken (in wire cage). It had a power motor and we used wood and coals. It had a minor flaw we discovered the first time we used it. It had intake holes in the bottom and vents in the top. the rising heat forced the air out and sucked it in even faster. I was having a beer and chatting when a sound like a jet taking off started emitting from the beast and its sides turned bright red. I ran to lift the lid and scored the flesh from my hand. When I got it open, Blue flames were vaporizing the skin off out delicious roasts. After that I had a block of wood with different sized sides I used to chock the lid and adjust the temperature. Was a fine Beast.

[@mortimi100]

The combination of Simon his writers and his editors is what makes The Simonverse the best place to be on KZbin

[@coralievanrooyen366]

This is so true

[@Nyan_Kitty]

Absolutely.

[@ashleygreen6328]

As an Australian I approve this, Blaze. Yes, we do have lots of very deadly creatures but they are normally found in remote places. WE just like to tell everyone how dangerous it is her to keep away the more annoying tourists.

[@hamishpmaccallum]

By 'remote places' do you mean outside the CBD?

[@schroecat1]

@@hamishpmaccallum Given how many of our CBDs are right on the waterfront, often the venomous creatures are right in the heart of the city too.

[@stuartmcpherson1921]

When staying at overseas hostel I was asked how do we survive with so many deadly animals. Had to reassure them most will move away or ignore you. Still pays to be aware which seems to come natural with us.

[@kiwimike2330]

That’s not true, I live in an inner suburb of Brisbane, and have seen death adders, brown snakes, whip snakes, red bellies in my neighbourhood. Most people don’t see them because they’re just not very observant.

[@jonglass]

I was an American, living in Poland. We had a friend visit from Australia. She brought Vegemite for us to try. She showed us the proper method, a thin, barely perceptible amount on the toast. I decided it wasn't enough, and layered it on, more like peanut butter or jelly, and it was much better. I guess I like Vegemite.

[@jewehhh169]

Asking an Aussie if they like warm beer are fighting words, never in my life will I touch warm piss.

[@mickhawkes125]

Don't worry about it, he is an arrogant Pom who thinks he is better than us

[@ChrisTopher-xn1hi]

Writer Dave wrote an articulate and informative script. A+ Simon. There's a reason he hosts around 13 channels. He's a freaking legend. But hands down, Editor Lorelei was the absolute star of this video. I haven't consistently laughed this much during a Brain Blaze before. Whatever you're paying her, Simon - double it.

[@TheSecretChateau]

My favourite thing about Australia are the wildlife viewing platforms on Sydney Harbour Bridge. They close the bridge every night at dusk so all the kangaroos, koalas, wombats and other Aussie creatures can go back to the bush for the night. It's free, but it's super popular. I once waited in line for a viewing spot for six hours and the queue is kilometres long and hot in the Aussie sun. Sure is worth it though! Magnificent sight, especially seeing all the birds flying across the bridge!

[@bilindalaw-morley161]

As an Aussie, I say this should be top comment. It's such a unique experience; We need all visitors to line up to see it.

[@mdancey19.37]

Haha..

[@TheSecretChateau]

@@bilindalaw-morley161 Tourists should be encouraged to go. It's an experience not to be missed!

[@alexwallach7683]

Just remember to tip the line attendant $100 as it is customary and incredibly rude not do so.

[@richard63]

LOL...very funny

[@ryougahibiki941]

As an Aussie, the dangerous animals are very localised, and frequently only seasonal. These sort of videos give the illusion that they are all ever-present. I've had many long conversations with new immigrants who have moved into old suburbia, informing them of the how they shouldn't be in perpetual fear. They are not about to be killed by our local flora or fauna. When they list off all the deadly things they've read/been told to be fearful of, I let them know where in the country they reside, and under what circumstances they will attack a human, instead their usual response of buggering off. I have a white-tailed spider bite scar on my face. I show them the scar and then photos of what the spider looks like, so they know to weary of them. I then show them photos of all the other innocuous spiders that live in this suburb so they know which are safe to ignore and which to actually be careful of.

[@muffinandme1]

When Vegemite was first introduced in 1923, it wasn't called Vegemite. It was originally called Parwill. The name was a bad pun - the slogan was "If Marmite, Parwill". The name didn't catch on and it was changed to Vegemite in 1928. I was surprised to find that this wasn't mentioned in Wikipedia.

[@Aemirys]

As an Australian i loved this episode.... but then i always enjoy them! Love, love, love Lorelei's work! She is hilarious! Definitely a bloody champion!

[@planetdisco4821]

No mention of the most terrifying Aussie animal of them all, the Magpie! As a kid I used to hand feed an entire family of them from our balcony in the afternoons, they’d land on the handrail and sing for their supper and if I wasn’t promptly out there they’d rap on the window with their beaks. Then every morning before dawn I’d cycle my bmx through the bushland to the train station and as I got near the creek I’d pass near the tree they roosted in overnight and knowing what was about to happen I’d hunch down over the handle bars and pedal for my life as I would suddenly hear the sinister whooshing of their wings flapping and with sweat streaming off my brow I’d cast a quick look over my shoulder to see them lined up in formation like F1-11 fighter planes aiming straight for the back of my head. Then three or more of them would clap their wings on both my ears like precision bombers and deftly land on an overhanging branch and cackle with magpie laughter at me as I passed under them shaking my fist and threatening to poison them that night when I got home from work. Btw, they totally knew it was me! This went on for nearly a decade lol. Magpies are fiendishly intelligent and capable of recognising individuals and very cheeky. That running battle I had with was one of the highlights of my childhood and I’ve no doubt that their decendents of the same clan are terrorising a fresh generation of Aussie school kids in the same leafy little valley I grew up in. I miss them. 🥲

[@yvettemoore1082]

True🇦🇺♥️

[@Lee-in-oz]

As an Australian this gave me an asthma attack I was laughing so hard. Simons walk through the bush almost killed me! Are we really seen this way to the rest of the world?

[@terminal_atlas]

most of the world doesn't realise that rick and morty bushworld adventureds is just an animated documentory. also i nned to hear simon try to say goondiwindi

[@moonsharn]

Our community bbq’s are such a normal part of daily life that they’re an expectation not a luxury. At our lake the toilets have been out of action for nearly a year. But one of the two bbqs stopped working a month ago and the town have been going nuts about it. So there you go, bbqs are more essential than toilets in OZ.

[@simracing4simpletons978]

My dumb ass got mad at the buffering joke for the first little split second before busting up laughing. Well played Lorelei. Well played.

[@EveryFairyDies]

Eeeeeeeeeexcellent.

[@TheRCvie]

Oh that wasn't just me? F Telstra anyway.

[@nature48941]

Everytime an ad starts for Backblaze, it pops into my head that it is a Beardblaze like product, but for your back hair...

[@vicarious_cringe]

I always assume it's Simon's secret company...look at the logo for brain Blaze vs business blaze...not from the creative bankruptcy, definitely not...

[@CharlesGriswold]

Because who doesn't want thick, luxurious back hair?

[@simonamer9210]

There's a product called the BakBlade which is designed so that men can easily shave their own backs. It's amazing! Simon should be sponsored by them.

[@iplaysdrums]

If he's anything like me, Simon's back hair is inversely proportional to his head hair

[@SakuraKurosaki10]

Do you reckon it would come with an applicator? Because I can’t imagine most back hair having folks could reach all of it.

[@ChristinaMaterna]

Ok that was hilarious... T-Mobile decided that the best time to buffer my KZbin was during Simon stating the words "buffering speed" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I do just want to just send Simon Vegemite (or even cheesymite)!

[@johnoconnor7221]

I just realised that I actually had to stop and count how many times I've been bitten or attacked by a member of our wildlife. I've lost track of how many snakes and spiders I've seen or sharks I've run into while diving or surfing. I also nearly sat on a Taipan, luckily it was a cold day, and he just couldn't be buggered biting me. We don't even bother moving the huntsmen spiders from inside the house. We saw one eating a mouse on the garage door and the reaction was basically "Aww she's gorgeous". Welcome to Oz.

[@mickhawkes125]

Sounds like bullshit to me. Having spent 20 years in our military, on exercises in the back of beyond, I rarely encountered anything venomous. This is all pommy arrogance.

[@Ravenforce3]

Uploaded on ANZAC Day (according to my calendar.) Probably unintentional but a great touch, anyway.

[@TheSecretChateau]

Excellent spotto!

[@TheKrispyfort]

Lest We Forget

[@wolfvontyr2266]

Oh fuck yeah! I wasn't expecting this! If you do a second one: - Kangaroos being shredded AF and not afraid to have a slapping match in residential areas. Like throwing one another through fences. - Australian's past time of taking the piss out of foreigners. Like saying everyone rides kangaroos, and when they go through water they use their tail as a propeller, or the time a Scottish journalist was made to wear gridiron armour before holding a koala... convinced it was a drop bear. - Queensland is essentially Florida but with more deadly animals and less guns (come at me Lorelei!) - The recipe for ANZAC biscuits is protected by law - MAGPIES And to round it out on a positive note... quokkas.

[@M1ggins]

And canine cane toad addiction.

[@taviaseymour1635]

Magpies are far scarier than drop bears. Drop bears fall. And then attack. Magpies can fly.

[@v0w1x2]

Quokka are basically mini marsupial Jesuses

[@PeterThompson-qj2lm]

We seemed to have forgotten the worst one, Saltys.

[@brentondorto1]

I'm from Melbourne, Australia and work in telecommunications. In 2010 the government started to roll out their plan to give everyone (except extremely rural places) FTTP, they called it NBN. The next government cancelled that plan and replaced with a very out dated technology of FTTN. After a few years they changed it again to FTTC. Now they're changing as many FTTN to FTTP as feasibly possible, they send people out to survey the areas to see if it is feasible or not beforehand. My house has FTTP and I bought in this area because I knew it had it because I helped install it :)

[@gatness]

Took me till the 20:21 minute mark to appreciate why the editing on this one was so 100% on point. You are a prime specimen of this fine sunburnt land, Lorelei.

[@JdeeGeekyGao]

Lorelei is a bloody legend for her editing, she's my favourite one on this channel, I'm not biased, but as a kiwi who lived in Aussie for 2 years, I get her humour more than the others. Also in all my two years living there, I only encountered 2 huntsman spiders as the worst thing. So peeps need to chill tf out about stuff that can kill you. Minus the internet speeds it's just a beautiful country and I would live there for the rest of my life if I didn't need constant medical stuff sorted for free back in NZ. (yeah I do have a medicare card it's just out of date now XDD)

[@EveryFairyDies]

G'day Kiwi champion, cheers! Love your country too!

[@TossMySalad69]

How's the sheep mate?

[@novicemoviemaker]

Simon forgot to mention that Australia is the only place with "Rent a Skippy" where you can hop to work on the back of a kangaroo for just twenty didgeridollaridoos.

[@andrewmangan118]

Go back to Russia

[@beehambonio3378]

And just like electric scooters you can find plenty on the side of the road.

[@goosenotmaverick1156]

​@@beehambonio3378damn those electric scooters really are just everywhere aren't they? I live near a college town and those things are a disaster 😂 we work on one of the places that runs them (I'm an electrician) and they managed to charge so many batteries in such a small area of their shop that it caught on fire during winter 😂

[@makavelismith]

You're the worst.

[@Lostboy811]

Kangaroos so like gaint rats

[@LegatoOfficial]

So it wasn't touched on in the video, but the NBN we got was NOT the NBN that the voting public were sold on. The Labour Party originally wanted to do a fully fibre to the premises network in urban and suburban areas, with satellite and other technologies in rural areas where it wasn't feasible. Then the Liberals were elected. (Obligatory disclaimer that Australian "Liberals" are not at all like Liberal parties in most other countries, being more analogous to the UK's Tories or the USA's Republicans.) I remember the 2013 Federal election having some of the most aggressive yellow journalism I'd seen to date coming from the Murdoch-owned press. Legacy media fought tooth and nail to get the Liberal party elected, and they were rewarded with a hobbled NBN rollout that was supposed to "save money" by using copper wire of all things. It then ended up going over budget significantly, even over costing the original FTTP plan. Long story short, like nearly all of Australia's infrastructural problems, it was the result of the Liberal-National coalition "saving money" and privatising at the taxpayer's expense.

[@nosonoliento]

11:53 Fun fact: We call them thongs in the western US as well. I've also heard them called Go Aheads, Beach Combers, Wing Wongs and Shower Shoes.

[@FunkyFae57]

Sitting in my loungeroom eating cheese and Vegemite toast and loving every second of this. Chefs kiss to your Aussie editor, she is a legend and had me nearly choking on my toast a few times 😂😂😂

[@EveryFairyDies]

Cheers, champion! Glad you didn't choke!

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

I had no idea she was Australian until this episode.

[@EveryFairyDies]

@@MatthewTheWanderer I am Australian, Canadian and British!

[@robbaskerville253]

Australian here. Lightly brushed a Gympie Gympie leaf with my arm. Could still feel it 3 months later. The thought of a big sting is terrifying.

[@EveryFairyDies]

*shuddering*

[@user-qi4ff5in9z]

Australia was awesome when I went in 2001. Gotta say that I wasn’t prepared for the heat of the tropical jungles, the size of the spiders, or the effects of the hole in the ozone. Went on the GBR. I used 50 sunblock cream, spray, and stick. Used it before leaving the hotel, waiting for the shuttle bus, on the boat out to the reef, and on the way back. I also spent half the time in the shade on the boat. To my shock, I got sun poisoning in 1 hour of snorkeling…but I’d o back in a heartbeat. Probably didn’t help that I got heat exhaustion the day before. All worth it to feed a baby koala, snorkel the GBR, see a dolphin racing our boat, get frisked by a kangaroo, and watch the penguin parade.

[@judileeming1589]

My husband’s family really really had to work hard to convince my 89 year old sister in law that it wasn’t a good idea to have just one more holiday from the UK to Australia for her 90th birthday next Summer (Xmas/New Year). She has been here at least half a dozen times enjoying road trips from Hobart to Cairns via the coastal and inland routes and the only “danger” encountered was that the mosquitoes loved my late brother in law who took to driving on the Australian roads for thousands of kilometres like a local. Now UK v AU BBQ-ing, we had a charcoal BBQ that had mains gas piped to it to heat the charcoal (perfectly cooked food) but our UK relatives gave us the laugh of a lifetime when they squirted some accelerant over the charcoal in their dinky little BBQ and they just about incinerated the food on the grill as well as created a flame thrower, the pitch of the squealing that the males emitted had never been reached before in their family barbershop quartet 😂 😂 😂 happy times 🇦🇺🤝♥️ 🇬🇧

[@ProfVaharrak]

BLUEY is hands down the absolute TOP DOG, thank you so much Australia for gifting it to us and our children. Also wth in Mexico we make a "BBQ" and everyone and their grandma just ends up plastered, the cooking/grilling is completely optional.

[@captainspaulding5963]

Wholeheartedly agree! The show is damn good!!

[@doithimaceabhard7457]

Bluey is awesome

[@unarmored9973]

Meh. Show about cartoon dogs +4, controversy about adult topics -2, funny accents +1, final score = 3/5 mid

[@captainspaulding5963]

​@@unarmored9973 meh, personal opinions exist, and so do facts. When one show accounts for more than 20% of the views on a streaming service, it's good.

[@unarmored9973]

​@@captainspaulding5963 Certainly 40 million viewers is a lot of peeps my man, it's almost the amount of people that think the m00n landings never happened. Hey but I'm not here to try and ruin your show for you man, I'm just some a-hole on the internet takin the piss out. Good day sir. 👍

[@amaccama3267]

The Box Jellyfish. Yep, our killer animals come gift wrapped.

[@TheKrispyfort]

Davo doesn't know about the Irukanji 😃 That's the infinitely more toxic box shaped jellyfish that is the size of the top of your thumb

[@silasary]

I have Vegemite toast every morning, it's great. As for internet, the NBN is a major upgrade to what we had beforehand. While yes, long cables are prone to latency, the bigger issue is signal degredation. Which means you need powered repeaters. At lot of them. In underground pits. That frequently flood. You haven't truly suffered until you find yourself saying "I'll upload that file once the rain stops". Because yes, internet access is weather permitting here.

[@erisgath7688]

I'm australian and live about 25 minutes' drive outside of my state's capital city (Hobart) and my only options for internet are 4G mobile, or "fixed wireless" which is basically just a 4G antenna on your roof. 35Mbps down and 7 up if im lucky. Several times a day it will drop out for a fraction of a second, interrupting livestream viewing, or up to several minutes. This is not something which seems can be fixed. Ping to games (based on VRChat) is typically 500-900ms, but can get over 1000ms. Even in its current incomplete state, Starlink is genuinely a solid option for Australians outside of Melbourne and Sydney. The massively bungled NBN (National Broadband Network) sees starlink as an existential threat to their business model, but instead of becoming more competitive it seems thwy wiuld rather increase prices to get more margin from customers who stay.

[@haileyjones2311]

I don’t know how much poisonous stuff we got down here, but we sure do have a lot of venomous shit! 😂

[@trevormustey4418]

Death cap mushrooms have entered the chat!

[@jjudijo]

My friend's son was a WoW addict and failed his freshman year of college, around 2005. Mom called her brother in Australia, booked a one-way flight for her son. He's now a pharmacist in Aus.

[@alanhilder1883]

So you were shipping that "possible" convict out here before he got the chance to actually do "the crime".

[@davescott7680]

Giving him a detox from the internet. Smart move.

[@TheKrispyfort]

He's a mediaeval re-enactor as well, isn't he 😂

[@Neojhun]

@@davescott7680 When your ping is one large fraction of a second, time to touch grass.

[@clairewalters8238]

❤my family emigrated to Australia when i was 6. The first barbeque we attended had a sentence on the invite my mum had never before seen it said "please bring a plate", mum thought this strange but assumed due to the amount of ppl attending the hosts needed extra plates. (Dad undestood the BYOG, Bring your own grog) but mum just took extra plates. When we got to the barbeque everyone laughed their heads off at my mum cos bring a plate means dip & crackers or a bowl of crisps etc, it cracked everyone up. We dont have drop bears & i have never been stung by blue bottle jellyfish or any spiders but watch out for the hoop snakes that bite their tails to roll down hills in the BUSH cos we dont have forests. Most enjoyable video for quite some time Simon & yes our nbn suck dog nuts but i have been offered fibre cable recently for an extra $9 a month for a year but as i pay $80 for a month of the fastest internet in the most isolated city in the world i said no thanks cos i gotta cook my drop bear on the barbeque as its dinner time, LMAO. Much love from Perth Western Australia ❤❤❤

[@X3R0NZ]

A mate of mine has lived in Australia for over a decade. Always dressed in a siglet and shorts and reckoned he never got sunburnt. He came back home to New Zealand in January (the middle of our summer) and immediately got roasted by the sun. While it does get a lot hotter in Australia by outright degrees, it's a different kind of heat here in NZ since there's a nice hole in the ozone layer right above us. So if you're gonna do a side mission to NZ, definitely bring your sun cream. Or as we're taught from a young age, "slip slop slap" 😉👍

[@TossMySalad69]

How's the sheep mate, giving the missus a good root?

[@victoriakenny632]

Oh, tell them its customary to have a huntsman spider permitted to live in the house to keep the flies and other spiders away. I have one in my bedroom doing laps of the walls.

[@felicitybywater8012]

Me too.

[@gabriellefagan1014]

I call them either Charlotte or incey wincey

[@lindaandsteffi]

Huntsman spiders eat cockroaches too!

[@Nikkska]

Mine’s called Henry!

[@jello1977]

The phrase you're looking for is "Fosters! It's Australian for dog piss!" and no we don't drink Fosters or warm beer!

[@rob1733]

Having spent some time there, I now know that Aussies consider a BBQ just cooking outside. As such, a BBQ to them is often a propane heated hot plate. All the public ones are like this. There are no exposed flames. But they're basically cooking on a fry pan. (I saw some propane grills in private homes, often side by side with a hot plate. Charcoal? Almost unheard of.) And BYO to a BBQ was definitely a thing...

[@arjovenzia]

I'm probably one of the few people who appreciate the NBN. I'm about 5km from the exchange, the wire is about 50yrs old. A rainy day would tank the connection speed to barely usable until the ground dried out. At least the fibre to the node handles a bit of moisture.

[@ignitionfrn2223]

2:30 - Mid roll ads 4:30 - Chapter 1 - The entire country is literally out to kill out 10:05 - Chapter 2 - BBQ obsession 13:35 - Chapter 3 - Vegemite 18:15 - Chapter 4 - Terrible internet

[@prephikz42]

Need to add the time stamps of the mesothelioma references 😂👌

[@MTB_Beth]

As an Australian, I live for when fact boi speaks about us lowly upside down peasants.

[@awesomesource12]

As a Australian, yes you do only spread a little amount of Vegemite on toast, that makes it not only taste great but means your Vegemite will last a long time before you need more. It's also great for when your feeling sick or even hung over.

[@simonrudduck8726]

I’ve lived in Australia over 30 years and have never had ever a close call with any dangerous animal being aggressive. I’ve seen snakes, but you just respect their existence and they respect yours. Spiders aren’t that bad, and they would only bite if they are cornered or trapped.

[@gretchenmyers1279]

I've lived in multiple US states, and even the smallest local parks generally have at least 2 pavilions with picnic tables, and permanent hibachi grills set outside the pavilion. If you know where you want to go has no facilities, a small hibachi or weber grill is easily portable. Most campgrounds have permanent grills as well.

[@Vaeldarg]

Have them even here in southern U.S, the land of mosquitoes and flies which make having any food outdoors look like should be shut down by health inspectors.

[@joshuahunt3032]

My local park in my hometown had a couple picknicking spots that, last I checked, had some metal grilling frames. Like, I think you were supposed to burn something underneath the grating and grill something on top of said grating. I don’t know what kind of grill that was, and they could’ve changed that by now

[@PayterX]

@@joshuahunt3032 Sounds like the permanently installed grills that are at every park I've ever seen, from Washington state to Florida. They do not have any cover on them, it's basically a flat piece of metal with 3 sides (where you put your charcoal) and then some metal bars making a surface (where you put your food)

[@miniveedub]

The ones in Australian parks are usually electric. It mostly started as a safety thing, it helps to prevent bushfires (wildfires). People don’t need to light a fire if there is a free barbecue hotplate already available at the turn of a switch. Now you find them everywhere.

[@meikala2114]

they are electric and free

[@yt.personal.identification]

Aussie here with fast, reliable internet. The issue is that nothing is hosted within 700 km of here so latency makes everything take a while. Between local offices, or home and office I have AMAZING speeds - as long as I don't want to include the rest of the world when using the internet.

[@MeppyMan]

Same. But that buffer gag got me though.

[@tpwonder99]

As an Aussie I lived in the UK for 2 years and found the stinging nettles everywhere were really painful, wasps would get in your fizzy drink cans and the brambles!!! Give me the very rare siting of a snake any day. No wasps, no brambles, no nettles!!! My young children, upon return to Australia, walked through some long grass with their hands in the air not wanting to have the (none existent) nettles brush their arms. You see it’s all about what you are used to. You find coping behaviours. Just learn some new ones.

[@brianspencer6397]

Aussie internet is NOT uniformly crap. When the NBN was initially set up, installation was 'fibre to the premises' - you got your own fibre and high speed data was available to all. Lots of homes got fibre, with a choice of 25, 50 or 100Mbps at varying costs; businesses could buy faster connections if they needed them. Then, we changed governments, and the new mob decided that it would be cheaper to go 'fibre to the node' - the node being a pillar somewhere on the kerb, up to a kilometre or two from your house, and use the existing (crappy and failing) copper network to cover the last leg. Those of us fortunate enough to have been connected early enjoy fast, reliable connections; the rest of Oz get to complain a lot.

[@Oscar-gq4ro]

We have grills at parks here in the US too, also venomous snakes, spiders, alligators, crocodiles, bears, wolves, moose, angry people with guns

[@paulbest6679]

Panthers, Jaguars, and Lynx too.

[@danielv5825]

NBN Co told my Sister's boyfriend that the fault was with his router config and he had to contact his service provider's technical department. He was working as a senior tech for iiNet, they were telling him to contact the people who escalate technical problems to the people who escalate technical problems to him. Turned out to be a grounding issue on a piece of NBN Co equipment. It was affecting an entire street. They had an entire street calling and complaining, several ISPs, and they were still insisting it wasn't their issue.

[@EveryFairyDies]

Fucking Jesus.

[@1300BlueStar]

Sounds like Rogers customer service here in Canada, half the country was down including cell service but "Seems to be problem on your end sir, all our equipment is functioning properly." and that was their story for hours before finally admitting to I think a configuration fault on the backbone.

[@EveryFairyDies]

@@1300BlueStar Oooof

[@geoffmaloney2717]

I live in Australia so only just got the upload of the video. 15 years ago a progressive government wanted the NBN (National Broadband Network) a govt run organisation to have optic fibre installed in every household. The Conservative opposition in conjunction with the client media said this infrastructure was too expensive (you know like railways were too expensive in the 19th century) and when they came to power, privatised the NBN put fibre to the kerb and the rest is copper wire used by 80 year old land line technology. My internet drops out every time it rains (Melbourne so often) and costs $110 AUD amonth. the joys of Tory privatision. Never been bitten by a snake or spider, although we did have the snake wranglers number on the fridge as we live near a wetland and the occasional diamond head or brown snake would wander into the yard. Vegemite is only good for warding off Drop Bears. Advised to put some behind each ear before venturing out into the bush.

[@knitpiks587]

As someone from the American Southwest; which routinely gets so dry that we can set it on fire but looking at it wrong. You really can't let that stop you from cooking out or you never will. All the parks I grew up around had external barbeque stations. They are on a concrete pad and there's nothing growing nearby to catch fire in any event. When I say this is the first time I ever thought this might seem odd....

[@AndrewFishman]

Simon's "horrific walk through the bushland" was my every day walk to the bus stop to go to school in the morning.

[@snailpaste]

Can confirm, EVERYTHING in Aussie is out to get you. Recently went for a holiday there. Got bit by a Quokka... An adorable HERBIVORE !!

[@fredk.2001]

😂 A little Quokka bit you? What did you do, insult its' mum?

[@simonjones2645]

don't fn touch them ..........bloody kiwis !

[@DreamingIce]

...what did you do?! They are so used to people's presence on Rottnest, hence the proliferation of selfies with them. Were you getting to close to a baby or something?

[@snailpaste]

@@DreamingIce nah it was a friendly little nibble. I was crouched beside it doing the peace sign for a photo ✌and it just hopped up and bit a finger. Either it thought i was offering it food (it was under one of those trees that have finger like leaf clusters, something similar to king billy pine, other Quokkas were nibbling on those) or it is just a particularly war mongering marsupial

[@lexand_ecarg]

The quokka smelt that you weren't from there 😂

[@hillstrong715]

When my father was in the CMF, one fellow walked face first into Gympie Gympie. He was the only person who was allowed to not do the daily shave as water activates the poison. He apparently grew a substantial beard, which is problematic on rain-forest maneuvers.

[@The_SonicPELICAN]

I have FTTP (Fiber to the Premise) an hour and a half drive north of Sydney and a gigabyte connection plan. Mind you, I built a new home in a newly developed area. Existing homes and apartment buildings are more likely stuck with either FTTN or FTTC (Fiber to the Node or Fiber to the Curb) which significantly throttles the potential connection speeds. Initially, the Labor government who introduced the NBN was going to completely overhaul the system and provide FTTP to everyone. We have short-sighted and technologically ignorant conservative boomers (Liberals) to thank for the drastic change in direction. They laughably suggested the existing copper connections would be fine and promised that the interconnecting technology (optical to electrical switches) would not slow people's connection down. It was a complete and utter failure that has cost the Australian tax-payers more than the original NBN plan. Thank you Rupert Murdoch and his toadies in the Liberal Party.

[@hollywalsh5399]

As an Australian this episode was a lot of fun 😊 thanks guys! It might be nice to consider an acknowledgement of our First Nations peoples when doing Australian episodes 💚💛

[@stuartmcpherson1921]

They were not the first here amd were never a nation but just a lot of tribes fighting with each other.

[@thekrutchinator]

@@stuartmcpherson1921 Truth telling in action!

[@gibson1554]

@@stuartmcpherson1921 woah mate you can't go around dropping truths like that🤣🤣🤣

[@lancer1993]

I've live in Australia my whole life, just over 50 years and I've not once died because of anything dangerous like snakes or spiders, my pet drop bear takes care of them for me!

[@PhantomFilmAustralia]

Not once died? Surely at least once?

[@geoffmaloney2717]

Liar, you can't tame a Drop Bear, unless it is the Kangaroo Island subspecies which is 7 times smaller than the mainland DB, but they can't be exported to the mainland due to quarantine. You might fool the overseas posters but Aussies know your are MR Fibber.

[@Aussie_Sue]

And our magpies protect our backyard from invaders.

[@filbruce1]

Last year, we needed to have the NBN connected to my on the coast halfway between Sydney a Brisbane. It took four lengthy phone calls to explain that he copper cable from the broadband node was wrapped around the power pole and secured to it by electrical tape. " Oh, you definitely have a connection. i can see it here on my computer. You just have to connect the modem, and we can give you internet "

[@AdelaideGuy1968]

Simon. Regarding the White tipped spider. I was bitten by one, and the bacterial infection cause me to need 8 weeks to recover. 12 antibiotic tablets a day, and my lower leg was 100% ulcerated. It takes several years for your body to stop regular re-inflaming. Last time my leg re-inflamed ended up with me in hospital for 10 days

[@laner.845]

That buffering joke was hands down the best piece of editing I've ever witnessed. Ya got me.

[@kacheek9101]

I love how the desk still has the hole from that one video where Simon took out a knife and stuck it in the desk

[@starrywizdom]

The continuity is strong in the Whistlerverse.

[@Daniels_ATS_W900]

#BrainBlaze... FUN FACT: In the 1950s and 60s, despite acquisition by the American company Kraft, Vegemite became a distinctively 'Australian' food. It featured in songs, on souvenirs and other popular culture ephemera. Vegemite returned to Australian ownership in 2017 when purchased by dairy company Bega. America rejected Vegemite (Kraft) 1950/60. Australia now owns it (Bega).2017. Australia rejected Starbucks. both products still exist in said countries in limited forms.

[@kingofthejungle3833]

In my 51 years of living in Australia, I have encountered probably dozens of tiger snakes (they're actually my favourite), not quite as many blacksnakes, and fewer brown snakes, I had a pet baby brown for a few weeks but I accidentally drowned it when I gave it some water. Fun fact; tiger snaked and kind of cameleons, they will change their colour to blend in with their environment, for example they can vary from the standard black and yellow, to green and yellow, brown, tan, and black ( the way to tell a black snake from a tiger is to look at it's belly, black snakes have red bellies, tiger have yellow bellies, also brown snakes are brown all around. As for red-back spiders, as use to brush them away with my bare hands until someone pointed out that I could get biten if I was very unlucky, I scuffed at the idea but decided to err on the side of causion. I've never encounter a white-tail, or a funnel web. If you're going to try vegemite, the best way is layer it on thick, and add a few slices of tomato.

[@smkh2890]

Australians put beetroot in their burgers. And you can't buy beer in the supermarket. You can't let your cat out. You can only walk it on a leash.

[@chrish4469]

I have bought beer in a IGA supermarket in Melbourne last time I was there, About 10 years ago

[@smkh2890]

@@chrish4469 not in Coles, Woolies or Aldi

[@iandownie9848]

@@chrish4469 And in Victoria, you can in ALDI also, so depends which State you are in. Our local IGA has a Bottle shop also under the same roof.

[@danrandall3302]

@@chrish4469yeah but they’re tiny and separated. Not like the USA where the alcohols next to the energy drinks

[@OldFellaDave]

Different States have different alcohol sales laws, so while you can buy alcohol in one state in a Supermarket (in a separate section), in others you can't at all (like Qld) and need to go to a Bottle-O ;)

[@onemorechris]

the internet in the UK, by accident or intentionally, it’s very very fast and very good. i can’t help thinking it’s the one thing holding everything together at this point

[@the_panos]

Live in South Australia and have 870mbps down. Pretty happy with my Internet. As far as us having lots of money... Yeah we do have a high minimum wage compared to other countries, we also are completely ripped off by every part of the supply chain here and the property boom of the early 2000s has had a carry-on effect with a building bubble that is still going now and has meant that rent has gone up so much that there are two income households that have had to move out of their house and into literal tents with kids in tow. It's pretty dire. Not to mention our supermarket monopoly raising the prices to 5x that of inflation while their supplier prices have stayed the same...