Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews: SPASMS

[@TheBrandonTenold]

Snakes...why did it have to be snakes?

[@only257]

Brandon Tenold mst3k joke it stinks 😂

[@crabohato4954]

Snakes are just worms with scales.

[@theatomicartist6422]

A Samuel Jackson movie line right hear😂😂😂

[@only257]

the atomic artist 64 😅

[@wstine79]

At least they ain't on a plane. Or a train.

[@rwd76]

When the snake bites Oliver Reed, one of them is going to die of a poisonous toxic substance.. and it not going to be Oliver.

[@rwd76]

@@GhostBusters-wb4un Oliver Reed was a British actor famous/infamous for his alcoholism, binge drinking and 'hellraising'. He died of heart attack after beating a group of sailors in a drinking and arm wrestling competition.

[@richmcgee434]

Giant devil snake frantically trying to spit out a mouthful of Reed's 190 proof blood...

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

I don't get it. Why, what has he said of late? (EDIT - apparently nothing, he is long dead)

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

@@rwd76 Clearly the most manly way to go out.

[@Galvion1980]

Yeah, Oliver Reed always had very lttle blood in his alcohol...

[@paulgreen2401]

"I like to think that running around his mansion, sweating, and shooting at nothing, is just how Oliver Reed spent his evenings anyway" Ha ha ha. That made me laugh, but probably true.

[@frankgesuele6298]

Ah, the Jack Daniels IV. Good times😀

[@jackcoleman5955]

Who would have guessed that the snake’s secret weakness was fully automatic weapons? That or adequate lighting...

[@richmcgee434]

"Bullets! My one weakness!"

[@andrewblanchard2398]

@@richmcgee434 " how did you know ? "

[@theface6584]

Fun fact: the reason for the quality drop in the movies picture was because the print used for the Code Red release (which I assume is the one Brandon has) was missing a reel, so they had to use footage from the vhs release instead.

[@CujoKelly]

So the actors weren’t the only ones getting shitfaced. Did they ever find it? Seems like a pretty important thing to just go missing.

[@falcon048]

@@CujoKelly I am sure Banana-Man did the most exhaustive search ever for that missing reel. /S

[@theface6584]

@Joie Kelly I don’t think they did. Missing or unusable reels are sadly very common with many of the more obscure cult movies

[@midwestmonster9886]

"These two are poachers who have journeyed to the jungles of deepest darkest Ontario." 😆

[@gabrielboorom6196]

They found the purest maple syrup. It's said to reverse aging. Unfortunately, it also carries a deadly curse...

[@evbable]

I’d watch that movie

[@blakearthur6928]

@@evbable eh what do you think all of us Canadian student film directors dream of

[@andrewphillips8341]

Yes were we have wolves and bears. And crazies.

[@jetfire851]

That snake's children would later go on to eat cancer-infested rats and star in Hard Ticket to Hawaii.

[@guybrush1701]

I seriously wonder if this served as inspiration for that.

[@Derek_Smallshorts]

A friend of mine used to know Oliver Reed really well; she and her husband would often stay with him at his chateau on Guernsey. He'd basically spend his nights getting absolutely, inhumanly pissed in the local pub then go on a Kong-like rampage down the high street.

[@lolajaramillo4620]

Every night?! Damn.😳.. Dude needed a massive intervention..

[@Mikanojo]

"Hmmn... all the terror of a relaxing walk on the beach". i suffer from kenophobia... a walk on the beach with all of that open empty space, open sky, kilometer after kilometer of water... just thinking about it fills me with suspense.

[@wstine79]

Now THIS is a perfect Father's Day gift. A Brandon Tenold review of a Canadian Snake movie.

[@Tareltonlives]

Peter Fonda and Oliver Reed in a 80s Canadian exploitation film about a giant snake. I love the stuff you find.

[@johnc4462]

“ To prove to people that he can play James Bond and Pamela Voorhees“ LMAO!!!! ❤️

[@xyfuras]

That was the most lowkey Pentecostal communion I ever saw.

[@AliceBowie]

Oliver Reed was an amazing actor. He could hold it together to do a film or play, but if you watch interviews or TV appearances, you can see what he was like when he was in between projects. He could get insanely drunk.

[@GoryBMovie]

You've made me contemplate snake buttholes. I may never sleep again.

[@BenniRoR]

It's legit scary how similar young Oliver Reed and Brandon look.

[@johnkirby8939]

Always love the Canuksploitaion episodes. BTW, who's that doing the thrashed out rendition of O Canada?

[@thegasmaskwarrior341]

I’m sick and tired of all of these snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!!!

[@megadethtilldeath28]

Don’t forget the “monkey fighting” part, lol.

[@mitchelltheawesome1]

It might be because I'm on my 7th hour of graveyard shift running on 3 hours of sleep, but I thought that snake looked pretty badass. Glad they made it look monstrous instead of just being a blown up version of the real thing.

[@andrewrobertson3894]

The snake legitimately looked pretty badass.

[@ImInLoveWithBulla]

If Oliver Reed, Russell Crowe and Klaus Kinski sat down at a bar together...

[@ChrisP58]

God help that bar and our planet lol

[@LovlyHorror]

Funny you should mention that since Oliver and Russell apparently hated each other while they were making 'Gladiator.' Throw Klaus Kinski into the mix and you just know something will happen.

[@NitPickz]

Oliver Reed and Klaus Kinski actually were in a movie together. Venom from 1981. And, according to the director, they absolutely HATED each other. I'm kinda surprised they didn't end up killing each other.

[@grapeshot]

It never ceases to amaze me how any country would let any large unknown animal or creature within its borders without heavy quarantine because it could be introducing all kinds of pathogens and also the fact that it could be extremely dangerous especially if it got loose in a populated area. But then they always go the way of King Kong. Big giant monster running amok and we never see the aftermath of these people being sued into oblivion and also going to prison.

[@only257]

BLOODY POND LIVES 😌

[@crabohato4954]

Cant wait to see the movie where after king Kong gets killed, we see how everyone gets super HIV.

[@davidsmith-jj4iq]

Corona?

[@KRhetor]

Hey, we can't all be New Zealand.

[@robwalsh9843]

Piranha: "She brought her child to a summer camp, only to be eaten by mutant piranhas. Film at 11" Kingdom of the Spiders: "I'm sorry sir, our insurance policy doesn't cover mass webbing" Alligator: "For the crime of developing an experiment growth hormone which culminated in a giant sewer alligator that ate countless people - including the mayor - I sentence you to 40 years in prison"

[@OomaGooma]

I lost it at “bad whiskey shits” 🤣🤣

[@SwaggyG_2102]

Not going to lie, Before seeing the video, I thought this movie was about people having seizures while a huge anaconda squeezes them to death.

[@tdpuuhailee8222]

Better take some notes now

[@judsongaiden9878]

Have you seen 'Anaconda'?

[@scottmacgregor3444]

I'm sure that's somebody's fetish.

[@jasoncrowell8863]

I have epilepsy. Having a seizure can be a nightmare on its own, forget snakes (on a plane or anywhere else).

[@ladycheyne5607]

"I'd buy that for a dollar!" 🤣🤣🤣

[@michaelwilson5114]

They missed a perfect opportunity by not having Rowsdower as Kincaid

[@theblocksays]

Was that guy in anything else besides Final Sacrifice?

[@richmcgee434]

@@theblocksays IMDb page: www.imdb.com/name/nm0593183/?ref_=tt_cl_t2 So, not much, no. Didn't realize he died in 2018.

[@laurenwasinger9436]

@@theblocksays molly hatchet?

[@theblocksays]

@@laurenwasinger9436 Was that a joke MST3K made about him? It's been a while since I've seen that one.

[@laurenwasinger9436]

@@theblocksays callback to the episode, you betcha. I have a lot of lines from that one in my brain pan.

[@vustvaleo8068]

for people who don't understand Malay language: Neraka = Hell Pintu = Door but the order of the usage is wrong, the correct one should be "Pintu Neraka".

[@AverageAwesomeDude]

so door in Malay sounds like a kid word for dick in Portuguese, just swap the u for an o. Neat

[@remliqa]

@@AverageAwesomeDude Funnily enough lots of Malay words have Portuguese origin: jendela, garpu , almari , bendera etc. If you're Portuguese you can probably guess what those are.

[@AverageAwesomeDude]

@@remliqa I’m Brazilian I haven’t come across any of those words so I think the Portuguese we speak split before those or those got lost along the way

[@remliqa]

@@AverageAwesomeDude I can speak Portuguese so I didn't know the Portuguese words for them but these are what they meant in Malay: Jendela =window Garpu=fork Almari= cupboard/wardrobe Bendera=flag

[@AverageAwesomeDude]

@@remliqa oh forget what I said I hadn’t thought about them that phonetically but in portuguese its garfo for fork, janela for window, Armário for wardrobe, and bandeira for flag

[@MisterEyeJones]

i'll never get tired of the "PSYCHT!!!" surprise attack!

[@ecaillette]

Now that everyone is apologizing to sharks for „Jaws“, isn‘t it about time to feel a little sorry for the poor snakes who have been bullied literally since biblical times?!

[@Theokal3]

Tell me about it. I am a Christian, and even I think snakes get a bad rap.

[@varanid9]

Anyone who's ever known an Indigo snake would feel bad about some fearful ignoramus killing one.

[@Mattteus]

There are so many animals in Florida looking at you like “what the fuck man?!”

[@thedooterking2249]

@SHRED SHREDDER Are......are you okay?

[@Jojozilla426]

@SHRED SHREDDER dude yeah they eat, obviously

[@caeserromero3013]

11:02 reminds me of that song: My friend Billy had a 10 ft willy and showed it to the girl next door. She thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake, and now it's only 4 ft 4....

[@dinogorawr4735]

CANUXSPLOITATION-A-THON was my favorite series that you made and now i'm so happy to see it return. Thank you Brandon!!!

[@robwalsh9843]

"He's bloating.....HE'S BLOATING!" They should sample that for a snarky gas relief ad

[@grumpyoldwizard]

Remember when Oliver Reed was in Gladiator.

[@88seanster]

Average Joe He was great in that role.

[@hawker7488]

Tragically died during production. After drinking a few bottles of rum and beating several British sailors at arm wrestling. Honestly, that's probably how he hoped he go out...

[@bgvo4373]

Remember when he played a werewolf?

[@guineapiglady2841]

The Three Musketeers!!!

[@GleeChan]

Since everything is filmed in Vancouver now, I wonder if all those count as Canadian films/tv shows as well.

[@RosenThorne]

“I might do my science project one of these days” -me in college

[@PongoXBongo]

Ah yes, my favorite movie trilogy: "Things", "(The) Stuff", and "Whatnot".

[@wstine79]

Oliver Reed was an awesome werewolf.

[@tahustvedt]

Spasms are amongst my favourite human uncontrollable reactions.

[@MiSambra]

Oliver Reed looks like he's fed up with being a Jedi, and has been living in seclusion on a secret planet.

[@shainewhite2781]

3:26, RIP Oliver Reed. 1938-1999. I can't believe he died during production of the Oscar Winning Gladiator.

[@sartanawillpay7977]

Here is a weird connection of Oliver Reed to Canada. His UK mansion, Broome Hall, was once a Canadian Army headquarters during the Second World War.

[@victorm152]

Oliver Reed and Peter Fonda? yeah, I'll be giving this one a look!

[@sartanawillpay7977]

The burglar with a mustache that the snake kills is actor Angus MacInnes who was Gold Leader in Star Wars Episode 4. He also was Jean "Rosie" Larose the former Montreal Canadians rookie of the year turned asylum inmate/brewery worker in the "Strange Brew" MacKenzie brothers movie. "Nice goal against Czechoslovakia...Sorry about the nervous breakdown eh." The other burglar, Al Waxman, once was well known in Canada for playing the title character in the long running CBC sitcom "King of Kensington." He's the one who bloats in the van.

[@brianpratt3224]

You really should do Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.

[@zvenafnazbalji7539]

2:28 Apparently, even tribe folk can be slipknot fans.

[@thunderchild1083]

Anyone remember the 80’s film Alligator? I’ve never met anyone who does

[@stevengabbard930]

Are you talking about the Lewis Teague film? It's a pretty decent movie and it's here on KZbin.

[@thunderchild1083]

Steven Gabbard really I didn’t know That thanks for letting me know

[@sweetcinnamonpnchkin]

That pool scene haunts me to this day. It terrorized 11 year old me

[@markwilliams2620]

It was on ABC one Sunday in early '82.

[@gabrielboorom6196]

I only remember that movie for the scene at night where the kid falls in the pool where the alligator is. I had a weird thing about swimming pools as a kid, and that scene really hit me.

[@wdj2131]

Tenold strikes again!

[@josephdarkhelmet9494]

At the climax, Oliver should have used the psychic connection to blow up the snake in spectacular fashion.

[@tnadrg1982]

The way Oliver Reed looked back then I'm pretty sure he probably ate the damn cat

[@CinemaMacabro]

Brandon, you left out one thing, For a killer snake movie, it had a soundtrack by Tangerine Dream, which is a rare for B movie horror

[@lordjim1933]

Dream just did one tune for the movie. ( and that was essentially music that hit the cutting room floor from another soundtrack. )

[@michaelwilson5114]

Yay - been waiting for this since the trailer!

[@muhammadfaizmohdnasiruddin2889]

You know, Oliver looks a lot like old Mark Hamill.

[@youdontknowme8129]

Please review Gymkata. And I had no idea Obadiah Stane was the villain in this one.

[@ionman1761]

Weres tony Stark

[@Is_there_no_one_else]

The "pink-eye will give you heat vision" line is absolutely hilarious. Thank you for that one.

[@BarbadosBeerFestival]

Fraggle Rock - like when you understand this line. Lol

[@treystorey2124]

The detective. Good one,, dude.

[@nigellemaitre8363]

13:13 got any letters from Uncle Traveling Matt?

[@savagetiger13]

O Canada, I will always love you for giving me such wonderful bad but good movies I can enjoy/make fun of MST3K style. And thank you Brandon for giving us more great movies.

[@davidsmith-jj4iq]

Reed was a "character",[AKA a difficult,drunk,and "hellraiser"]

[@KRhetor]

Next year, how about The Mask (1961) and though they're not really Canadian, Fiend Without a Face and Yeti: Giant of the 20th Century?

[@jamstonjulian6947]

Fiend Without A Face!

[@hawker7488]

Winthrop, Manitoba.

[@gabrielboorom6196]

I second The Mask. That movie is exploitation before exploitation was really even a thing. "I am cursed!"

[@TheRoomforImprovement]

The covers of this film remind me of the 2007 film primeval, about Gustave the crocodile. No part of the trailers or posters implied that it was about a monstrous crocodile. Only after seeing the dvd box cover with Gustave on in 3 months later did I realize What it was about.

[@mathieuleader8601]

Oliver Reed should've play the aquateens landlord Carl

[@chriscraven9335]

*neighbor

[@gabrielboorom6196]

"Who did this to my f@cking car!"

[@discwarehouse7169]

Nice, another movie review!!!! I really like the way you present your movie reviews, I find them entertaining. I also like the movie art that is being used.. Thank you for posting, keep them coming...still lots of vintage/obscure Horror classics to review!!!! My favorite reviews are of movies like Squirm & Slugs, movie like that....

[@bobbydunakin3205]

This is how I celebrated Father’s Day... watching this with my old man.

[@edwardburek1717]

4:41 The Seattle Space Needle?? I thought that was the Blackpool Tower!!!

[@curbozer5006]

Whatever that is...it ain't the Space Needle!(offended Seattle guy!)

[@robertfolkner9253]

When some of my relatives lived in Tennessee in the late 1940s, there was a “snake handlers church” down the mountain from them. The members really thought God would protect them if they handled venomous snakes and drank strychnine. The trick was that the snakes were raised from birth being handled and so weren’t very aggressive and the poison was so heavily diluted as to be almost non-existent. But it happened that the local paper carried stories of worshippers being bitten and dying because, you guessed it, “They needed more faith.”

[@jeffreyskoritowski4114]

I've heard that some of those churches remove the snake's fangs.

[@Axolotl_Mischief]

@9:02 made me lmfao... I once was arrested at the VT/Canada border because my buddy left his nunchucks in my car. I was in jail (have no idea where) from Friday night until Monday afternoon. In court the judge was pretty pissed that I had been locked up, and while it was a really awful situation, it made for a really fucking funny story that I have told countless times.

[@sigmacademy]

I can just imagine the following: COURT: "No, your honor. I'm not a super-ninja-spy on a secret mission for a shadowy Canadian organization" IMPRESSING THE LADIES: I once went to jail, you know? I was THAT bad in my youth? ;) :P

[@grapeshot]

A guy being crushed by a crate, can we all say Wishmaster.

[@TheJMPD]

Make your..... wishhhh

[@deanolium]

Poor Ted Raimi

[@MrMoorkey]

Shimwaster...wimshaster...swashmister...well it seems I can't say wamshister!

[@neonnwave1]

I wish I could find the original source of the intro's song. I know it's O Canada, but that cover of the anthem........ IT ROCKS!!

[@wingshad0w00982]

“Not showing the monster is a technique to usually build suspense.” Or you’re jaws and you have production issues. Waaait a second

[@darksideofthemoon488]

Ohh. Yes do My Science Project.

[@shadowstate552]

"My Science Project" is awesome, hope you don't tear it up too badly.

[@michaelwilson5114]

14:25 Maybe its maybelline ...

[@chi-chitail236]

I missed this so much ❤️

[@caeserromero3013]

If I were acting in this movie, I'd take up heavy drinking too...

[@DonaldRilea]

"AmeriCanada!!!" Where Yank actors like Lee Majors, Peter Fonda, and Chris Makepeace routinely cross paths with Canuck ones like Michael Ironside, Ken Pogue, and Vlasta Vrana, and there's both a Prime Minister and President, who arm wrestle each other weekly for who gets to be in charge for the week.

[@DonaldRilea]

"Cannibal Holocaust" and this flick, ripping off the Mudmen of New Guinea since 1980!

[@dustygrooves4727]

We need to find the movie where someone is bitten by Robert Zdar and is now a wereZdar at midnight you grow a bulbous face and star in leo Fong movies

[@TheRealNormanBates]

Starring “Data’s daughter” from STAR TREK: DISCARD

[@Mortiis558]

Monroville Omg someone else thinks this too! I thought me and my wife were the only ones!

[@metaloverlord7465]

Question Brandon. Would 'Them!' be considered a cult film? I would love to see you do a review on what is easily one of my all time favorite films.

[@cdrain68]

I do wonder is there a Canadian Killer One Eyed Trouser snake film? The could film it in Winnipeg as no one would be bothered with a giant killer Wang going down Portage and main, it happens all the time.

[@SwaggyG_2102]

6:18 Hey, could've been worse. It could have been the Wishmaster inside that crate.

[@TheRealNormanBates]

Or Fluffy from CREEPSHOW

[@sigmacademy]

@@TheRealNormanBates Or a Leprechaun? You know I'm talking about? :P

[@scockery]

They could've wished to be a in a better movie.

[@richardgadberry8398]

"Deepest darkest Ontario." So, Thunder Bay?

[@wstine79]

Mutt: "Grab the snake!"

[@skylx0812]

"...dad."

[@jaceshaffer8104]

They did a better job explaining the psychic link between a character and animal in this movie then in Jaws the revenge.

[@akildukes7499]

Oliver Reed was in two killer snake movies?!

[@captainstroon1555]

The Canuxsploitation-A-Thon intro is one of those intros I never skip.

[@jjh9355]

13:14 It's Doc from Fraggle Rock!!!

[@simonhassnilsson7009]

Fraggles vs a giant snake?....ok, you've got My attention

[@Jahzilla.]

Cool to see the Scarborough Bluffs in a movie

[@babababuck]

They're also briefly in Cannibal Girls. Not 100% on it, but i'm pretty sure they're in Prom Night too.

[@slappy8941]

"Canuxploitation" is the single greatest term to have ever been coined by humanity.

[@BlackMoore82]

Duet also directed an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents in 1988 and My Secret Identity in 1990, along with 27 episodes of Goosebumps.

[@bambufan3636]

Alternative title: "Hot Ticket to Ontario".

[@sigmacademy]

09:36. Wow. Never knew snakes had Texas Ranger roundhouse kicks? :P

[@kaiju-odanny9778]

Yo Brandon! Any plans of doing a Godzilla vs Destoroyah by any chance though?

[@bromodragone8405]

You're right. He's not Captain America. He's Mephisto.

[@MrLouis-of3yl]

LET THE RETURN OF THE SON OF A CONUXPLOITATION-A-THON BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@joshua2814]

I've only been to Canada twice, but for some reason I love this "Canuxploitation" series.

[@jaronzennaiter]

Is Oliver the main slave trader from Gladiator?

[@troyschulz2318]

The very same

[@jdenoe69]

Well my Sunday just got a little better. Brand new Brandon cult movie review all right!

[@lazyuniverse4932]

Now that Brandon mentions it. If he grew a mustache, he would look a LOT like Oliver Reed. First dexter now oliver reed. Who's next?

[@scottyrobot]

in his doug mclure reviews, people mentioned Brandon's physical similarity to that actor

[@gabrielboorom6196]

Brandon should totally go as Oliver Reed on Halloween. He just needs to put on a few pounds & grow a moustache.

[@captainbear6188]

Yes, finally a new video from Brandon.

[@mattchew6426]

Dude, you need to grow a 'stache like that guy has in the movie (the future you)...

[@philipd1979]

Yeah your back been awhile. Love your amazing reviews on cult films

[@Xhero-fe2fd]

When is Godzilla coming back?

[@kataruz3534]

In 2021

[@mrsuns10]

When Toho doesn’t flagged his content

[@nkwhite]

Apparently, singing TF out of Oh, Canada was just what I needed in my life this glorious Sunday