Breakups: The ‘Aha’ moment of relief

Maggie writes, “I found your book Breakup Triage really helpful after being dumped recently. I am 59 yrs. old and was feeling desperate. You write about discovering that the love you were looking for is really your love and belongs to you!! I wonder how this discovery has changed the way you approach relationships and how you access this feeling when you are alone? Many thanks, Susan.”
Work with me: susanwinter.net/consultation/
The Dating Games Guide: You know you're being played, but what's the game?
And what's your countermove?
Not to worry. I’ve got you covered: susanwinter.retrieve.com/stor...
The Older Women | Younger Men Dating Guide:
Dating a younger man and wondering if it will last?
Attracted to an older woman and not sure how to make your move?
Answers to all your age gap questions: susanwinter.retrieve.com/stor...
Rough breakup?
Check out: Breakup Triage; The Cure for Heartache
Audible: www.audible.com/pd/Self-Develo...
Amazon: www.amazon.com/Breakup-Triage...
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Allowing Magnificence; Living the Expanded Version of Your Life
www.amazon.com/dp/1479176087?...

[@isaks8059]

I think we're better lovers when we've learned to love ourselves

[@albertgrant1017]

Excellant Point !

[@PossumLover1111]

Once again, Ms. Winter proves herself brilliant, wise, the voice of common sense, and authenticity. She makes me feel like she's my best friend. Love love love her! A true role model.

[@SusanWinter]

Annette, I think it would be wonderful to be your best friend. I certainly hope I can meet you sometime in the future

[@PossumLover1111]

@@SusanWinter Thank you. That means a lot to me.

[@wanderertatiana2498]

Yesss!! 100% agree.

[@marythesky5838]

"The love is mine. I own my love." S. Winter

[@user-yt8hm4oc5r]

brilliant

[@ritashaba]

He unblocked me, watched my stories after two years and then when I called him out on why he can do that and not talk to me. He never apologized for hurting me and ghosting by the way. But when I confronted him he blocked me again today. However this time I didn’t break down or feel pain. I cried and let it go and thought why am I crying I have been so good without him and in fact I love me even more. And I realized I am the kind of woman that he can’t level up to. And I get it now. But doing the inner healing work made me realize his games no longer make me feel any way bc the love is inside of me and he can’t take that away from me ever again. ♥️ thanks Susan 💫

[@kimmyball4961]

Best of luck, you are a beautiful young woman.

[@jessicawang1941]

I'm in the same situation. They are just such a coward to deserve us. Anyway, still blessing to them that they are still able to love and worth to be loved.

[@wanderertatiana2498]

❤️❤️❤️❤️ this! I'm happy for you for your massive breakthrough x

[@johng.4959]

Being discarded... Especially when you're so deeply in love with someone is extremely debilitating. It truly feels like a death happened and in my case... I ruminate and rehash everything that caused the breakup. Susan makes an excellent point though, the "love" is truly my "own"... I will always have it. It didn't go away with them... It's still MINE.

[@atsuyak768]

I feel you

[@casperinsight3524]

Mental and emotionall discard hurts more than physical as you're being stonewalled, kept at arms length. It's punishing, withholding and deliberately cruel. It's emotional torture, like craving cake and being around cake but not allowed to eat it.

[@keptins]

Dont worry it will go away too.

[@evelynw2935]

"I am the bank. The love is within me." Love that. Tried to love a broken man once for 2.5 years, gave him all my heart and soul, but his brokenness made him incapable of receiving it and giving it back. He's gone now but I know the love is still within me, and one day, I will give it to someone else who values it 😊

[@maryahaque9563]

Going through the same thing and the relationship was the same amount of time long, i hope that you've healed and i wish I'm also able to heal because rn i just feel broken

[@debralondon2402]

Healed!! 😅

[@ronbusby3335]

That is such a wonderful outlook. I pray your doing much better now. God bless.

[@paigeallis]

This whole concept you made me realize that my love belongs to me has gotten me through more than anything. Thank you.

[@rebeccajones8628]

I AM THE ONE WITH THE LOVE.....wow....that is an aha moment.....

[@lindarah3189]

After a LTR breakup (9years) you have been a voice of reason and clarity. Thanks Susan

[@SusanWinter]

Oh, Lindara, thank you so much for that. I’m really sorry about your break up.

[@plasmaarmelund]

I'm going through a divorce right now and this really resonates with me. 16 years ago, I fell hard for a woman who's a few years older than me who only wanted to be with me and get married to have kids. I was naive and blinded by love. Throughout our marriage, she was never able to express her love or affection. She may have tried, but it was never authentic. Her mind was always "someplace else". I knew something was off but still tried to give, give, and give - hoping that it would reciprocate. It never did and now we're going our separate ways. It's mind-blowing how alone you can feel in a relationship. She would shut me out for several months. I was the lowest on her list of priorities. She would even show more affection towards our pets. A set-up like this is going to fail eventually. What pains me the most is how our two kids have suffered over the years from the lack of love between their parents. It's going to affect them and the pain that they have felt can never be taken back. I'm devastated and broken. But you are SO right about who has the love. It's not hers to take and it won't leave with her. During my upcoming healing period, I will focus on channeling the love to help others in need. Thank you for sharing this valuable insight.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you for opening up and sharing this with us. I wish you well on your healing journey!

[@dystephiary]

Hello. I hope you've been doing well since. When you felt something was off, did you communicate?

[@plasmaarmelund]

@@dystephiary I did. We even tried couples therapy but my ex was incapable of taking any responsibility nor doing any introspection.

[@dystephiary]

@@plasmaarmelund i’m sorry to hear this… I wish my ex partner and I did this too but he didn’t communicate well and was always avoidant. I wish you healing.

[@TheRoadrunz]

The love you are looking for is your love … it’s has always been within never outside… you give meanings to things

[@zinzibam4126]

There’s truly no safety net when it comes to love.

[@SusanWinter]

Well said! It's a risk we take, but a worthy one.

[@BCHODOSH01]

Love yourself,and love the fact that you have love in your heart that you can share with others. What a gift that is to you,and to those who you share it with without strings attached. Those individuals that don't have the love in their hearts for themselves will never be able to truly love you.

[@SusanWinter]

Well said!

[@rickmenasco322]

"They don't have the capacity." You've mentioned that in several other videos just as you've mentioned them "lacking the skillset to have a true relationship." In this one you have brought it full circle w/ the "I am the bank". The love I had for that widow was real & it is mine. This widower has just realized that there is hope because I own that love I had for her & I can give it to someone who has the capacity to love me in return. Many, many thanks Susan.

[@stinkwd]

I love this woman, she has so much class. The smartest, wisest woman in my life, my grandmother, died years ago and listing to Susan helps make up for her being gone. Thank you Susan for what you do.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you, David!

[@tripsyvision]

Ah, this makes sense. I had so much love when I was single. When I got with this guy, I slowly felt drained. He needed my love and was sucking the hell out of it. Wow!

[@sophiekade5571]

Susan, this is simply mindblowing! "I AM THE ONE WHO HAS THE LOVE!" Beautiful. Thank you for that! This is an aha-moment indeed. You are the one who's helping and pushing me through my break up pain these days and if it wasn't for you, I think I'd be in a much worse condition. So thank you so much! Love and appreciate your advice and insights. Kindest greetings from Germany.

[@SusanWinter]

Sophie, I’m so happy to read this. Is there any chance you want to participate in my to our master class this Friday? It’s kind of late for all of you in Europe. I start at 4 PM Pacific time. So sorry. The organizers are from Australia. I’m doing a two hour special on breakup triage; the cure for heartache. All the information is in the community notes

[@sophiekade5571]

@@SusanWinter Thanks for your offer. The time is really late though, yes :) And I am busy with family that day.

[@sophiekade5571]

... which is a good thing because it keeps me from ruminating about my current situation :)

[@Dee-gl8mc]

She's the best. Authentic, wise, humble yet sassy

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you, dear!

[@ShirleyMalia]

You are an incredible inspiration with your beauty and glow and spirit and wisdom and experiences and humor and your love for all of us I thank you with all my heart and love Thank you

[@anniejonathan3622]

Shirley king, break sucks! But there is a solution to every problem on this Earth, when I was in a problem like this before my friend recommend me to a great man that restore relationship 💪💪💪❤️❤️❤️❤️💯💯💯💯❤️❤️

[@anniejonathan3622]

The great man help me get my ex back, he bring my ex back to me, joy , happiness, and restore my relationship

[@anniejonathan3622]

I advise you to a contact the man to help you get your ex back to you as soon as possible ok ✅✅✅🙏🙏💯💯💯💪💪😍😍😍🇨🇦🇨🇦

[@anniejonathan3622]

[phone] 💯💯💯💪💪💪🙏🙏🙏💖📲

[@alexandramaria7754]

There is a misunderstanding that psychologists or dating/life coaches don't have problems in relationships or the dating world. The truth is the more your brain is awake for what is real, the more you will face "virtual" challenges. Love is a muscle that we should work out every day, and it starts within us. I am glad that exists in this modern chaotic world, amazing humans like you, my dear Susan! Sending to you and this amazing community one hug from Portugal! Alexandra

[@SusanWinter]

Hello Alexandra! I do dearly love your commentary. I am so happy to have you in my KZbin family.

[@alexandramaria7754]

@@SusanWinter 😘

[@kionnakelly2918]

Perfect timing!

[@luna69_69]

🥰best advice ever!! Thank you Susan

[@amandaconnell653]

Amanda from Wales here. Susan, I think you're really onto something here. We all seem to think that it's the other person somehow inspiring this great love that we feel. That it only arrives when they do. In fact, it's within us all, all of the time & you were able to articulate that for me. I've always been a believer that only I have control over my feelings but your explanation has given me the clarity so needed. Thank you so much Susan, you're a great person. Off now to spread the word! Much love❤❤🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈👍👍

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you for taking the time to share, Amanda! Much love to you and Wales.

[@Msmaggie801]

Thank you so much Susan!! "I can only feel MY Love" This is so empowering!

[@suzyd9292]

I was just thinking of this the other day. I told myself all that love we felt came from me. And I am the one that deserves that love and my attention not someone who left so I will focus all my energy on me. Oh and btw when I started to feel happy again he unblocked me (was blocked for four months) and put a like under one of my FB posts I can feel him trying to find a way to sneak back into my life. Not gonna happen tho.

[@nazilat9649]

My goodness, what you say makes so much sense! Thank you Susan for helping us! Love from Montreal

[@Th3Fab3]

Omg, Susan. What a revelation for me...I've got the love! This sends me peace. The love is mine and I own it!

[@SusanWinter]

Absolutely! It’s amazing isn’t it? That’s the kicker no one ever tells you

[@Th3Fab3]

@@SusanWinter I know, it's crazy to think that you have the power to give yourself permission! This is definitely something I will share with my son and daughter, both teens now! I have a little more pep to my step now.

[@yourfriendmimi]

So powerful. Thank you!

[@nola8504]

Yes, the love remains with me. No matter how incapable another person is to receive it. Yes, I serve to alleviate the loneliness. Many men out there want me but my heart is still broken. Concentrating now on being my own bestest best friend.

[@IamMinnie90]

You truly are so appreciated. This is so eye opening! 💞 🙏🏽

[@SusanWinter]

I appreciate that!

[@kariepearce8761]

This resonated so much and brought so much clarity to me! Thank you!

[@SusanWinter]

I’m thrilled to read this. Thanks for sharing with me

[@mr.languages9084]

Thank you Susan I'm crying listening to you. God bless you!

[@zinzibam4126]

I’m trying so hard right now to be my best friend.

[@KA-kp4ic]

You’re a gift from heaven Susan. I’m watching all of your videos, so helpful.

[@trynaevenstevens1485]

Thank you Susan for the great reminder about our Inner Love - always adoring, always abundant, always loving unconditionally ❤️❤️❤️

[@wanderertatiana2498]

Susan you are simply the best! Wish I'd found your videos years ago, but better now than never. Thank you for what you do Xx

[@KarlaMarm]

Your videos are so helpful. They help me heal and feel stronger. Thank you!

[@maryamzizi2023]

Nice video Susan 😊😊

[@cbass8202]

Love your content Susan! Recently had a break up 5 days ago, was deeply hurt and felt my reality for our connection disappear, it's been confusing as we were each others first. I felt like I outgrew her and tried to force her to change and grow with me which is not right. I'm healing and growing through this! I'm actually very happy even tho she ended it, and I know that it's time for me to grow on my own and graduate university now and move into my adult life in full swing, not dependent on her anyway. thank you once again much Love and Merry Christmas :)

[@farnsy118]

as always Susan, Thank you...another Aha moment for me too...especially understanding that in those times when I have felt like the person I was with would not , could not reciprocate my loving them because they could not love themselves..makes me sad and wish they could, but we're all doing the best we can. Thanks so much for your inspiration as I navigate these times X

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you for your comment, Alex!

[@VictoriaVic789]

Thank you, it's absolutely wonderful.

[@jillg.6557]

Thanks Susan. The Best love is bestowed upon ourselves.

[@SusanWinter]

So true!

[@kathstimson2968]

The light bulb FINALLY went off in my head. You are right that the love, I thought I had for my ex, was really my love for myself. Wow!! That changes everything. Thank you so much. I feel better than ever. 🤔🌻

[@SusanWinter]

Love it! Thank you for sharing.

[@RandysGutt]

This video really helped me today. It felt like you reached through the screen and helped me. Thank you so much.

[@SinaLaJuanaLewis]

this was huge. the love is inside me....❤️❤️❤️

[@tomw2314]

Thank you for that AHA-Moment, never really thought about that

[@Its_antny07]

What yu felt around them .. is yur love .. it is still inside you !! Give it to yourself

[@suzymccallum675]

Love your videos, you have such a beautiful energy 💫

[@Astharia]

Oh I bought it as well and kept been thinking about the bit where you said the love has always been yours

[@Slytherin88]

Susan makes Carrie Bradshaw sound like a teenager writing in her diary. Finally some real love advice! Time is a healer for all things but if you have Susan on your side you will heal a lot faster! Much love from the UK 💓

[@fromthehart7915]

Insightful as ever, Susan. Always so grateful for your brilliantly wise content. You’re so right that the love we feel comes from within ourselves. It reminds me of the quote ‘you can only feel the love you can perceive of’. Thank you for your words ❤️

[@SusanWinter]

You are so welcome!

[@jlynngambler]

That is a great way to put it!

[@SandeeLane]

I love this! Date players for a good time not a long time. Seriously though, loving ourselves keeps us strong and enables us to see the red flags, walk away sooner and stop the cycle of dating the same "types" over and over. We all deserve a beautiful love. Go for the best and leave the rest!

[@SusanWinter]

Great comment!

[@carmenmichaelian8307]

You are so right about loving yourself. It’s been my goal for over 2 years and it’s really made a difference. Hi

[@patriciaearley4177]

Thank you for this video it helped me.Yes I can relate to this,when someone left my life it was a feeling of"omg,they took the love part".Not true because it's still with me now nobody can take it away I get it now🙏

[@jacquinewman8125]

Susan, I absolutely love this. It's so weird, this is the ephiphany I have just discovered for myself and it makes perfect logical sense. Thank you for sharing once again.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you for your support!

[@writerwannabe8778]

You're incredible, Susan. Your video's help me so much, I learn a lot about relationship's and myself. It's hard for me to figure things out sometimes and that's where your wisdom helps me out. ❤💪👏

[@woopiemiddleman8232]

This is magnificent! Very helpful! I’m the bank!

[@never2late362]

Profound concept I love it ❤️

[@Jocelyn_Jade]

Life is full of change always so the stability with oneself is vital for a full life, where we can rely on ourselves and our core soul regardless of everything that is happening on the outside.

[@GwenMotoGirl]

Thank you for this reminder. ❤️ My love for me is the only non-transitory thing.

[@SusanWinter]

Absolutely, Gwen!!

[@saramurphy7272]

Love you Susan. You light up my day.

[@SusanWinter]

You're too sweet!

[@Rasheens-Story]

Thank you so much Susan ❤️ what you said was very helpful to me 😊

[@SusanWinter]

I'm so glad!

[@MrMicakytu]

This video just made me subscribe ! You are great! Nothing else to say.

[@SusanWinter]

Yay! Welcome to the virtual family!

[@michellemichelle5202]

Very insightful. Now I’m thinking about buying your book. 😃 😃

[@thomaspeterson5693]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[@rhondabaldwin7529]

Susan, I, too, bottlenecked at that concept, however I read it and reread it until I got it! I get it! Thank you

[@SusanWinter]

Wonderful!

[@Jo-bo1mp]

Cannot love you enough Susan!

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you, Jo!!

[@allenwinston9225]

Susan your the best!

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you, Allen!

[@ctdali]

I had a difficult separation from one that I loved....looking back it has been the biggest gift as it propelled me on the journey to self love. It’s amazing. I still love the person very much, but I feel whole now. Thank you so much for sharing, what you say is true.

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@ctdali]

Susan Winter really like your advice, FYI my special person is a wonderful friend so all is well.

[@coolspot5577]

The universe understand what I desire I was here I am here again thank you for being here 😁

[@SusanWinter]

Wonderful!

[@zenmaiden1]

A wise friend once told me, don’t get swept up in the dream, the “snapshot of the future “ and always keep your feet on the ground.. after several go rounds of being devastated I learned. You said it exactly the love I had is still inside me, I don’t have to wonder the why so much... the light once it comes on it stays on. And if / when it comes around for me again ( breakups) I will be sad, but not devastated. The snapshot in time - you said before on another video was so profound and I think that’s the why to much heartache . Maybe you could review that concept for us. .. thanks for all you do ! ❤️

[@SusanWinter]

Your friend is indeed so wise! Thank you for sharing this with us.

[@kimmyball4961]

One thing you said in this video really caught my attention and it was about if people don't love themselves, how can they love others! My soon to be ex husband (separated) has always put himself down and has never spent a significant time being happy. I always thought I was the problem until I was finding out he's been this way long before he married me. I've begged him to get therapy and such, he says he will but never does. He left me for another woman but he's realized he's even more miserable with her. However, even if he asks, I'll try my best not to take him back. He needs to fix himself before that would even be a possibility.

[@AgapeLove878]

Whoa !!! Yes !!! This !!!!

[@tommy2379]

Awakenings are wonderful. Thank you for sharing!! If you don’t share, we don’t get it. 😎🙏🏼

[@alphasierra9059]

🥰🥰🥰Yes yes yes on this!!👊😎

[@loysquared]

I came to the same realization too a while back. The thing is: how do you engage in a relationship if nobody wants to be in one? I feel unwillingly coerced to waste my life, my youth, waiting for a relationship that may never come, just because they haven’t decided yet...

[@griseldaflores6362]

Tell them upfront that you are looking for a relationship. Trust me, that weeds out a lot of people and there will be people who surprise you and say they want the same thing. But make sure to get to know them while you date before diving head first. Ask for exclusivity when you think you’re both ready to just see each other only and work toward something more. The important thing to remember is to enjoy yourself, know there’s no guarantees, clarity and communication (don’t tolerate games), and to be your unapologetic self :3

[@loysquared]

Griselda Flores Thank you. That is a really helpful tip.

[@whitewittock]

No one is looking for someone to be nice to them. Everyone is looking for someone they have to be nice To.

[@dianabauder1797]

Synchronicities! I follow two other wise teachers on KZbin who have been explaining this exact same thing recently. The love we long for is within ourselves! Also, I believe I can trust God (Source, Creator, Higher Power, Universe) to heal my broken heart and provide wisdom/intuition regarding any new relationships that open up for me. I'm 57 and preparing to divorce my husband of 35 years, and live on my own for the first time. I already feel vulnerable, but hopefully won't give into desperation, if I can live out what I've been learning. All my best to you Maggie! And as always, thank you from my heart Susan!!

[@itsnotallrainbowsandunicor1505]

Sorry to hear that the 35 years of being together has ended. That's quite along relationship to be in only to have it end for whatever reason that is not of my business to know. Mine was 27, but it came part much earlier. The fist time being alone makes you vulnerable and apt to make wrong decisions as for as looking for companionship. We look for someone to plug up that hole and end up where that someone makes the hole bigger. Whatever you do, don't devalue yourself. And remember no ones perfect. I say that because sometimes we blame ourselves for the breakup. 'I could have done this, I should have done that." Well, that other person wan't perfect either. You come to the right place though. Susan gives everyone an ear. God speed.

[@dianabauder1797]

@@itsnotallrainbowsandunicor1505 Thank you so much for your kind words of empathy & support. (I'm sorry it took me awhile to realize you'd left a comment.)

[@SusanWinter]

Diana, thank you for opening up and sharing with us. I wish you well on your healing journey!

[@itsnotallrainbowsandunicor1505]

@@dianabauder1797 "I'm sorry it took me awhile to realize you'd left a comment." Me too :P KZbin has failed with it's notifications.

[@gio_graphy]

Susan, I would love a video on the subject of wanting an ex to be regretful of a breakup. I understand its completely illogical for me to wait around for a "I regret the breakup" but id be lying if I said it wouldnt feel REALLY GOOD to hear that. I dont even want to be with them anymore, I just wanna hear it lol. There has to be some sort of psychological reason behind this and I think others deal with it to so it would be helpful!

[@SusanWinter]

I totally get it. We have all wished the same thing at some point in time. It’s because you processed this as a loss. And yes, a break up is a loss. And true, not being loved or valued the way you should be is a loss. But I can guarantee you that this feeling will leave you, (needing them to miss you and know they’ve made a mistake) when you can dig the gem out of the painful event.

[@vivekamar99]

You spoke my mind Giovanna! Lol!

[@never2late362]

I know what it feels like after my divorce to be so damaged/traumatized that you couldn’t return the love. I regret it but it was the best I could do at the time and it wasn’t anything they did wrong. Sometimes you want to say ‘what’s wrong with me’ or ‘what did I do wrong’? No one is perfect I know And we can torment ourselves with what we might’ve said or done, but the answer to both questions is nothing. It’s the fear, or whatever is unhealed, within them. It doesn’t mean we can’t get insight from issues That surfaced that we realized we need to grow from, things that the relationship triggered.

[@224zin]

Thank you so much Susan

[@lauralaura1782]

Love and light from sunny Cyprus!

[@SusanWinter]

Hi doll!

[@ScottH7651]

Susan- I'm addicted to your videos and you even made a video based on my question,,, but here, I have to raise my hand and say that the "love yourself" position (or variant thereof) just makes me want to barf. We are meant to be in a relationship with anOTHER person. Loving yourself on Valentines Day just sucks. Having sex with yourself tides you over but doesn't compare to having sex with a loving other. We are meant to hand our vulnerability to another person.

[@mohammadmohabatkhan6021]

I really love your confidence and your sweet smile,i desperately wish i could be your friend ma'am

[@SusanWinter]

If you're subscribed or tuned into the videos, you already are. Welcome to our virtual family!

[@mohammadmohabatkhan6021]

@@SusanWinter But i want to be a part of your immediate family my girl

[@missamericausa]

I’m here 😅

[@cococha]

Love yourself before finding someone to love you.

[@SusanWinter]

Well said, Vivian!

[@casperinsight3524]

YES 💖 Find yourself first

[@OkJess0404]

Yeeessss!!! 🤩🤩

[@lisagavin3402]

I've told my ex ( who is a narcissist and disgarded me after 14 years out of the blue), that he would feel better about himself if he would volunteer to help someone else. He is so miserable. He wanted no part of that plan.

[@Photo-ms1mo]

It's an interesting concept but the love we hold for someone isn't always entirely ours. If the other person was good to you. Showed you affection and care and then suddenly broke up with you. There is no way you gonna quickly fill that void. Even if you start dating immediately other people, get cats and dogs etc. The big hole in your heart remains! It takes time and effort to build emotional connection. And if it's broken it will take even more time and effort to rebuild the old or a new one . Self love is another concept. But as we are mostly social creatures. No amount of self indulgence can substitute for a connection with other human.

[@valeriejoyes8839]

💜💜💜💜

[@ilzenagle4744]

Hi, Susan! I have a question: I was in an AMAZING relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years. Being overworked and exhausted took a toll on us and she suddenly left me for a 3p (even though she was preparing to ask me to marry her), short after we moved to a new town to try and better our lives. She says she fell out of love with me, while I still consider her being a love of my life. I never even imagined she could leave me and still can't believe this has happened. We still work together, I have to see or at least talk to her every day and see her doing ok, while I am miserable for 6 months already, ever since the breakup. I read and watch all I can and try to accept the situation, but nothing helps. I am stuck in this place with no way out and being sipped salt in my wounds every day and thus spiraling down to a depression. How do I stop caring about someone who was/is great and I still love and would like to spend the rest of my life with? Thank you...

[@TheSLK1973]

Wow.... They don't have the capacity... ❤.... Yes... My love was magnificent NOT his....

[@Youtubewonderer]

✨🙏🏻✨

[@alexflips393]

Thanks Susan. Are you live on Thursday? Cheers,

[@SusanWinter]

Absolutely live on Thursday. I will be talking about gray rocking

[@alexflips393]

Great I’ll try and superchat if I don’t catch you on Magnifi. Thanks

[@shanadagnysiap]

How do you move on when after many relationships you feel you’ve finally met your soul mate and then you break up (cause you both had unhealthy fights and severe lows as well as highs) and then you feel like no connection or no-one else compares to your ex (when he was his best self)

[@nicolasrodriguez3499]

It's been almost 5 months since my best friend and companion broke my heart. Nothing can heal better than time. Not only is it impossible to turn back the hands of time, it is impossible to speed up the hands of time. Every relationship has highs and lows. It hurts me most because at a low, she chose to leave me instead of tough it out together. You will have all of these same thoughts as time progresses and you heal.

[@gio_graphy]

Could have been a karmic relationship

[@SusanWinter]

Your situation sounds complicated and perhaps is still unresolved; on both sides. I think it would be good to get a therapist and examine some of your underlying reasons why you have framed this partner as your ‘one and only.’

[@littleredhen8205]

You might benefit from reading up on trauma bonds.

[@itsnotallrainbowsandunicor1505]

@@SusanWinter Good point Susan. Going about resolving such climatic relationships on our own is like performing an appendectomy on oneself. It's doesn't resolve anything, and one ends up maimed for a prolonged time. On the other hand a good therapist is hard to find, but it's still advisable. And for anyone else reading this, one's cat or dog is not a therapist.

[@shoshanna8475]

My happiness is mine; no one will walk off and take it with them again. I'll be in love with God and walk in love with mankind. Of course, by the time we get this wise, we should also appreciate that no one's asking ;-) That's just INFJ humor; it'll be alright... love is where we are. I've discovered my inner goat whisperer.

[@flubby178]

Is there any video of her about inter cultural relation ?

[@SusanWinter]

No, not specifically.. Though I do know that I have answered that question in passing in a couple of video requests. However the cultural differences were not the main point of the video request, so they didn’t warrant a detailed answer

[@flubby178]

@@SusanWinter cool where can I find those videos ? I'm asking because I'm passing through this and I don't find many videos. I think would be cool if there some video talking about, like between american or european with chinese, or other asian

[@lovecuba2]

She should know, she has experience in breakups.

[@leeorsay2571]

Is there anyone older women I single?