Britney Spears Book, Jiujitsu, Black Ventriloquist, Josh Johnson - Comedy Cellar - Standup Comedy

Come see me live:
July 3 Calgary, AB bit.ly/4ehz2hM
Sept 13-15 Ontario, Calif. bit.ly/4bFwkRo
Sept 19-21 Phoenix, AZ bit.ly/4agm7JP
Check out joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour for more dates!
Hey Friends, wanted to share my set at the Comedy Cellar a few weeks ago. Share your thoughts with me in the comments.
If you love my stories I have a podcast that comes out every week: bit.ly/3NQmpio
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Drop a comment if you loved or hated the set, and especially if you're unsure. Subscribe for more. Thanks for being my friends!

[@JoshJohnsonComedy]

Hi friends! Thank you for watching!! Make sure to subscribe! Arlington VA Nov 30-Dec2 tix available at www.joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour

[@aqua1985rius]

You make my world so much better with every set! 😂

[@Yasminescookingshow]

Good stuff Josh. I'm watching you from Virginia. I'm Haitian and a huge fan of In Living Color skits about Caribbean people. That show and Martin were my intro to Black American culture. I would love to see your funny take on Caribbean people in NY. I lived there for 9 years before I moved to Virginia for the military. You are absolutely amazing!! Your story telling reminds me of Bill Bellamy.

[@360.Tapestry]

you're killing it, josh. the consistency will pay off

[@andrewwood6026]

Coming to portland anytime soon?

[@atlienfasho]

You’d better STOP talking about my creepy kid!!! That heads down face is TOTALLY my son’s mad face!!! 😂I 😂

[@sessasidney]

What is more impressive is that he does what Late Night shows needs an entire team of writers to do. He alone get the trending news and make an act on it... Dude is AWESOME

[@temitopeej8407]

He is very talented and he has honed his craft over the years. He was a writer on The Daily Show from 2017 and he previously was a writer and performer on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. He toured with Trevor Noah on his Loud & Clear tour for several years. The guy has been around for a minute.

[@MUTHANNGAwaTSHITIRINGO]

They should give him that Daily Show spot

[@shreddbunnie]

He was a Daily show writer

[@copiumkiller]

And then there is improvisation, coming up with jokes within seconds. Honestly, "Whose line is it anyway" in average have made me laugh much often than late night shows BY A WIDE MARGIN.

[@Wynter_Heat]

Facts!!! He made it his own❤

[@andreareddorkinghood1371]

Cutting the ribbon on a race you didn't run deserved way more laughs than the crowd gave you

[@Sienisota]

Absolutely. It was hilarious!

[@Yazarastsu]

It is hilarious but I just gotta say if you spend 9 months getting up at 3am to go on a journey to get something that you shouldn’t be able to get at that time to come back with it for it to become another journey and being greatly loved when you return till later that day being threatened to getting your head ripped off, should be able to do something 😂 just saying

[@erikaarnold4780]

💯 I agree! GENIUS!😂

[@keenanweind1780]

The father ran the first leg of the race...

[@penelopeanne79]

Totes!!!😂

[@angryface01]

JiuJitsu: the gentle art of folding clothes with people in them. Being a white belt forever is normal. Farting when another person is folding you like origami paper, also normal. Sucking at JiuJitsu, totes normal.

[@alovecolour]

😂😂😂😂

[@miha_ity]

I was White Belt for like 4-5 years, until one evening some guy that goes to the same bjj gym started some shiet at the bar, and we both agreed to go outside on the grass and duke it through jj. Thing is he was a good purple, and I was preparing myself for sleepy time honestly, but we ended up chest to chest with him on top, and through instinct I went for a Ezekiel and grabbed the shirt too and hugged him so tight I almost blacked out myself...I felt him go limp and just scooted out from under him. After he came back we were drinking buddies. Two days later, I go to jj class and in front of everyone, the teacher started scolding me so hard and swearing and getting like red face, and then he ends it with "...so congratulations, you earned yourself the blue belt" and like the 6'2 220lbs 37yrs old man that I am, I cried like a lil girl in front of like 20people. IMO it's better to be a white belt for 10 years than no belt at all, just like it's better to be the last guy in kickboxing class, than the guy who just passes by...

[@mrarmaggedon31415926]

@@miha_ity yo that's incredible and I could absolutely see the blackbelts doing that

[@mlladavynauckland1622]

My kids do bjj, someone did a loud fart in their class and one of the dads called it out, it started a landslide of fart allegations, as it turns out some people have a rep for farting and everyone's been keeping a tally 😅🤢

[@dszk1990]

I love when Josh Johnson does the thing where he goes from smile to neutral to smile to neutral (...) fast, that's when you know he's cooking some shit.

[@realbrooklyn2093]

Slappy joke loading

[@JLF201]

Oh yeah. That flickering smile that's like, "here comes the best line, I gotta say it, hold it together."

[@liamevans1508]

Agreed its like he’s trying not to laugh bc he knows he’s hilarious lol

[@liamevans1508]

Agreed its like he’s trying not to laugh bc he knows he’s hilarious lol

[@cjpietropinto9293]

Lmao! Ive been married 21 years and YES!!! Being married is having someone to say "i love you, no matter what. But stop doing That." 😂

[@Mah-LonCreativity]

Josh got to be one of the funniest people on earth right now. Don't you agree?

[@rockymountainfoothills]

Agreed

[@tareapayton7549]

Yesss

[@bryanwilkens]

Absolutely!

[@jessicagirts3250]

100%

[@opheliamunroe1110]

Are you starting a Josh Johnson cult 😐

[@aaramccrory1987]

As a mother I can confirm how creepy kids can be at times. My son has so much conviction that our house is haunted it is truly unnerving. I am ready to smudge the house 😂

[@callmecharlie99]

Kids can see things we can't. You might want to do that smudging soon.

[@KLmoxie]

Might want to move houses!!! That’s not even funny

[@erikaarnold4780]

It can’t hurt 😶‍🌫️👀

[@carrington2949]

Didn’t you watch The Haunting episodes? The ghosts be kicking the sh1t out of the kids and the parents still don’t believe them until a full on possession takes place. Believe that child. 😂

[@Bachconcertos]

Rebuke the demons in the name of Jesus.

[@lanasinapayen3354]

I wish only one thing: don't burn out Josh! Every artist I know who used to put tons of good content out all the time burned like a candle and had to take like 5 years rest. Take care of yourself!

[@simmiedavissimmiesings8185]

Agree

[@RCRyan76]

Agree. He is awesome

[@nicoleowens2318]

He clearly enjoys it, and the fact that he's often at the same spot shows that it's probably local and convenient for him. It's like a news show, it takes work but if you enjoy it and you're trying to get wider exposure, and create a lot of content, he's doing it. I'm so proud of him. It's going to get him a lot more views posting new content frequently. If he can do that from near his house, sweet. Why not? When you love what you do it gives you life, not take it away. I'd agree if he were touring all year, but that does not seem to be the case.

[@marielcolley5656]

Doing something you love can burn you out. Specially creative content like comedy and preforming. We are not saying he should stop, more like he should pace himself. So that he is healthy.

[@alovecolour]

Katt Williams always has new content, Trevor Noah, Tony Baker, Corey Holdcomb etc...

[@richjokes]

How does this man generate so much content every week?

[@denisedecman2912]

Yeahhh love it and for free 😮

[@corvacopia]

He used to write for The Daily Show

[@richjokes]

​@corvacopia I...know...but there's a BIG difference between writing as part of a team and writing 15 minutes of new standup a WEEK...Dude is a beast with the pen...

[@theresagomez2605]

​@@richjokeshis delivery is on point too

[@richjokes]

I'm LITERALLY starting to follow his example and write bits on current events...dude is an inspiration...

[@1c2h3e4u5n6g]

Josh NEEDS to be hosting the Daily Show

[@janeeyre1990]

It's so stressful Don't wish that on him He's a sweet guy, he needs his rest

[@heyheyNow]

Nah, Roy Wood Jr ❤

[@kmxbmx]

⁠@@heyheyNowRoy Wood Jr would absolutely be my first choice, but daily show already told him he wasn’t getting the gig and he left. Josh is definitely my next favorite option though!

[@Roaming725]

Oh no, he deserves better!

[@ColoRADbro420]

But I like that he isn’t so political. That show creates a political audience division polarity.

[@DavoneRice]

"this could've been a text message if I'm being honest with you" 😂😂

[@tommyelthomas]

"He's not even in the top 30." hahahaha

[@AT.inbetween]

dont text me Willie!

[@YakThaWiseman72]

"Okay, I'm done with jiu jitsu, I'm just gon buy a gun"😂😂😂😂

[@squee599]

"Anybody wanna pretzel me, they can catch this lead!"

[@aliepatchik8277]

Why does this man not have more specials. Hes by far one of the most eloquent, hysterical, and hard working comedian ive ever seen.

[@bellefleur6300]

“Some good Christian sleep” 🤣

[@Grace-ms7un]

I need that on my pjs

[@littlewoodimp]

2am, woken up by pain again. Ahh but here's sweet, funny, Josh to illuminate this dark and chilly hour. Thank goodness he's such a hard worker, always delivering.

[@kui_maina]

Babe whats going on?

[@littlewoodimp]

@@kui_maina Oh I've just lived too long, went and got old 'n crumbly. Do yoga kids!

[@kathleensullivan4547]

😢I'm so sorry 🙏 I too am in that club 😢❤

[@littlewoodimp]

@@kathleensullivan4547 Hey, and we both have Josh as a wee bright spot

[@lesleyd2448]

I can relate 😢 Recently found Josh..he’s a blessing 💜👏

[@kellidinit3725]

😂😂my dad would always call me “hon” right before he broke someone’s death to me. Every time he called me hon, I knew my day was gonna get bad real quick. I’d give anything to hear him call me “hon” again though.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

💙

[@lesley5380]

🕊

[@tanisha.r.thomas]

❤

[@SakuraMoonflower]

Aww, I'm so sorry for your loss. 😢❤🎉

[@kathybell6268]

"Before you know it you are that weird guy" just about killed me

[@lianekawasaki143]

“You about to sleep forever” killed me😂😂😂

[@aplaceinthestars3207]

The jiujitsu story made me laugh so hard! The awkwardness was so intense it felt extra good to laugh about it.

[@amazing3868]

😂

[@Confundrum]

When Josh uploads I forget about my problems for a little while

[@tareapayton7549]

Thought it was just me! So appreciate you sharing your sets with us...Love ur comedy... Love to laugh!!💞

[@HoneyPot624]

Same!

[@KomalNirwan]

We all do, that is the reason we all have subscribed to his channel.

[@JustWhattaRuLookinAt]

Same… When Josh uploads, my brain takes a break from worrying about heavy school/work deadlines and bills to pay rofll 💀

[@83osoy]

❤️

[@christina-clairegeorges3661]

Love the Britney take. Funny not making fun of. ❤

[@Tonyhouse1168]

I remember this one time Josh didn’t kill it on stage.. Wait, wait, that’s NEVER happened! Keep killin em brother

[@korganrocks3995]

I've seen it happen a couple of times. Of course, that was while I was watching clips of him on a podcast, so he was only killing the host!

[@sunnysunflowers328]

I love that grin he tries to hold back right before he says the punchline. Makes me grin and start giggling in advance, lol

[@bernieheartdragon1888]

You understand being a human more than any human I’ve ever heard in my life. 😂😂😂😂😂 “my tampon! “ what the actual….I freaking love you so much. 😂😂😂😂😂

[@CrazyJodice]

Cutting the finish tape on a race you didn’t run😂💀

[@beenassoo]

he looks more confident and more expressive here than his previous bits. idk why but i feel really proud of him, he has come long way and finally he is reccieving th attention he deserves

[@StanisStandUp]

Weekly 20 minute sets? This man is a force of nature

[@pocketrocket1995]

When they ask my husband, if he wanted to cut the cord when my daughter was born, my husband replied to the doctor…’ I paid for full service. I expect full service no way in hell I am cutting anything.’

[@janethoward2155]

😂😂😂Yes Girlll🎉

[@Kcali111]

The way you say "WILD" in exclamation of certain situations always cracks me up. Also your mannerisms and ability to cover multiple topics in a comical fashion is top notch.

[@neiel1]

Wow. Josh just unlocked another level to his comedy. Maybe a combination of the crowd & him (as always) testing new material, this set was non stop

[@EllaGP22]

I couldn’t stop laughing for a good 10 mins when I heard “there’s a thin line in Jiu-Jitsu between getting submitted and getting fucked” 😭😭

[@dannymac6368]

Josh so little he leanin up against an empty mic stand. 😂

[@cjpietropinto9293]

Anyone can. He's standing on the bottom plate.

[@tanisha.r.thomas]

AHHHHAAAAA.... You are the reason he is getting swollen now😂😂

[@stocktraderaid3553]

That got me too! How much does the mic stand weigh?😂

[@clairehodgson621]

Dude is awesome!! I love the low energy vibes and story-telling. Not cheap shots of making fun of the audience. Josh Johnson is the one to watch.

[@nordicpink]

Willie wasn’t dead!!! Now I’m dead!!!😂😂😂

[@calvthomas6153]

I love his voice. Makes the jokes and punch lines even funnier🤣

[@dontestarr5781]

Netflix stop trippin and give this man a special or two!!!

[@Innamoramento9]

The Black Ventriloquist part had me choking with laughter. oh my God, it's true!

[@devotae]

Kids whispering in the dark about nightmares was so creepy and hit home hard. I laughed my ass off. 😂

[@GreenAntennas]

"I just brown-belted myself! 🤣

[@RyanDarian]

For the love of god, give this guy a week on the daily show STAT

[@James-cs3vc]

I know he said Collin Farrel, but my brain pictured Will Ferrel and now I'm deeply hurt we don't live in the version of the multiverse where Will Ferrel was absolutely tearing up Britney Spears. I think that version of the multiverse is a lot more chill than ours.

[@kathymisuraca5047]

Same

[@marcelladillard3556]

Me, too.

[@anyasviews8415]

I heard Colin Firth 😢

[@JLF201]

I couldn't think who Collin Ferrel was. The closest my brain got was Conan O'Brien.

[@Grace-ms7un]

​@@anyasviews8415 i am instantly imagining britney in pride and prejudice 😂

[@cerajo2706]

Lmao when he says, "this could've been a text message if I'm being serious." Omg 😅

[@matgrades]

Josh is a killer. He deserves more recognition🎙🍻👍🏼

[@zaywatkins1742]

Don’t lie! Y’all got rankings! Never heard truer words😭

[@jonnaphillips7124]

In the order I loved them? OMG I CACKLED! 😂😂😂

[@meryla.l.8245]

Literally Josh’s KZbin clips are what I watch when I want to be entertained lately.

[@ThatzMzMJ]

LMAO! I did Jiu-Jitsu back in 2019 and I got rolled by a 15-year-old as well 😂😂😂

[@marjuraudne8862]

Josh Johnson is black belt in comedy! scary good. I wish I was a network exec

[@theglem4]

It has been so great having him upload his stand-up regularly. It is so refreshing to have that pick-me-up every so often.

[@karinak09]

“I’ll make you sleep forever” really got me 💀💀

[@mrsetamayple]

This man is dropping good content every week, that’s insane 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@jashanestone]

How we always hit "like" when we haven't even or heard anything it yet? Because? We fuck with Josh.. 👍🏼 🤷🏽‍♂️ 😅😅

[@staynlesjl]

Pause

[@rockymountainfoothills]

🎉

[@snacking5908]

Facts

[@ericisprobablyfullofshit7797]

It saves time. We already know it's gonna be good. 😊

[@MissJoy16]

Thank you for the reminder!

[@mouselemurbutt]

thank you for making me laugh. I have some serious problems in my life right now but you just made me forget for a few minutes, and I needed that. love seeing your continued success, you've earned it! 💚

[@cjpietropinto9293]

Idk what you're dealing with. But I'm sorry it sucks. I hope there's a good turn coming for you soon. Until then, survive the moments and make wise choices. Hugs!❤

[@TheUselessbuthappy]

I have 4 kids. The amount of times ive woken up to a heart attack becuase one of my kids is standing over me staring is unreal.

[@coolbeans5911]

"unmarried energy"😭😭😭😭😭

[@Windsbag]

Josh is right. I just turned 49 last month, I am still single, and I am not doing well.😅

[@Tonyhouse1168]

Man, I feel you. I turned 41 this year; decided a few years ago to be single and just handle my business. And now I’m thinking I stayed single too long. Got comfortable in my aloneness, stuck in my ways. There’s times I think about how nice it’d be to have a partner to share the good stuff with and help handle the rest, but then I look around and there’s just not many people I can think about seeing every day. But maybe there’s still hope for us. Good luck brother

[@chosenlight7289]

​@@Tonyhouse1168hey this is for you and John ! You both are right we're you need to be! No rush! Plenty of life left to live! Do t let loneliness drive you to get a nut case. If you have good credit made sure she does! If you don't have kids and you don't want to be with a woman that does don't! We are at the age where we should have things so don't date a bum of a woman that wants and needs you to take care of them. Make sure she has her own! I am a woman so this is from a woman's mouth. I would rather be lonely then linked with a bum. Y'all have plenty of time and yes! Be picky!! Nothing wrong with it 😄

[@jshyoungblood]

You'll be fine but remember you can't capture someone and retreat to your hole with them. Gotta get out there and interact, create relationships, push through the urge to turn inward and share yourself.

[@Fitingbros101]

I feel you man. Should’ve taken Bill Burrs advice. Cant stay single too long or it’ll tarnish your personality. But if you wait too long it becomes almost impossible to get a gf anyway. Heres to luck then 🎉

[@OldLadyintheShoe]

Josh is hilarious! Had my stomach hurting! 😂😂

[@aidenguex1041]

So imma take a 51 min nap now lmao

[@inappropriate_comments]

Wake up

[@JB-bm1to]

Bruh wake TF up! Josh is on.

[@jimmylin7233]

DUUUUUDE That BJJ story is TOO REAL BRO. Every martial artist worth their salt has farted explosively during a sparring session. I, however, habitually play my ass trumpet during the stretching exercises. I guess that's where all my 49-year-old single unmarried energy is going hahahaha

[@jusbpure]

Bruh said “I quit jujitsu and just gone buy a gun” I spit up water bruh 😂

[@stephaniem9335]

You just covered my whole family in one stand up I love you Josh!!!

[@teamlovepanda]

Josh using all of his unmarried energy for comedy and it's GOLD!! 👏🏽👏🏽

[@Flybabyfish]

Josh Johnson’s released more gold!🤩👏 my favorite comedian Love from laffayette Louisianna!!⚜️🐊

[@craigmerkey8518]

🔥 IDK how he comes up with these intellectual and self aware performances!

[@themaggattack]

I saw him in an interview and he said he basically processes the things he talks about in counseling into his comedy.

[@nadineboizard3902]

Lmfao the don’t touch me creepy kid thing is so funny. My son was around 2 when I had my friend come over and he started chasing her around my island saying red rum over and over(no idea where he got it from) My friend ended up locking herself in my bathroom crying while my son kept knocking on the door and I couldn’t help but break into a hysterical laugh lol

[@nedume.2223]

😅 No idea? Who had your kid watch The Shining?

[@williamalexander7481]

😂 you made tonight better. Thank you

[@willsx2]

Another great set! Josh is getting even funnier.

[@nordicpink]

Love this guy. He’s so funny.

[@joeystylzpoppin]

Ayyoo that "I hope everybody I love" joke is kinda facts lol

[@rare2find0918]

Josh you are HILARIOUS! Can't wait until you announce your next stand up special!

[@gailsmith938]

You are an absolute joy! Going through a dark season, but came across this video. Can't stop laughing.😂😂😂. Thank you, and God bless!

[@GenuineBreezy]

I remember the nights of young me walking into my parents' room and scaring the sleep out of them

[@tanisha.r.thomas]

You ever just wake up with one standing over you. 😂😂 Twice by two different kids!!!💀

[@Killerwale-hk4wy]

I did Judo (the most "huggy" martial art) and went in the "big" group at 12. Way earlier than is normal because I got too big, too fast. By 13 I was 6'3 and by 14 I had reached my final height of 6'5. I wasn't the skinny tall, I was like 225lbs I hit puberty early and had a pretty deep voice and was hairy as hell (which OMG I hate so much). So I was this very strong kid, but I still had the training of a 12 year old. So I was out there getting choked out by black belts and honestly I kind of liked fighting way better oponents. I eventually got better and was really motivated to get better.

[@JustHereForCats]

When he sat down and hoisted up his leg 😂😂 Omg sir, you are too much 😭

[@gabeflame7803]

I’m Jiu Jitsu, you gotta let go of your ego, that’s one of the greatest lessons in it

[@foxinthesnow1917]

Omg I rarely like stand up but I can't get enough of this dude

[@deadinside5299]

Cousin Willy, rest in gummies

[@KINDaf]

R.I.G.

[@ekdaufin1485]

Good one!

[@callmecharlie99]

He's 85 deep. Its gonna be a long nap.

[@danielball1790]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 the Willie joke!!!!!!!!!!!!. Honestly this dude is 🔥!!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing like having a great hard laugh!!!!!!!!! Keep rock'n bro.

[@mayasl1339]

Josh was on fire in this session! What a repertoire! comedy at its finest ✨✨✨

[@evirgil84]

Wow this is such a great quote: “When you laugh you’re letting yourself be yourself.” Thanks Josh!

[@uberempty]

bro is going to be aa phenom soon. i swear it. funny af

[@Lady.Thirteen]

“Cutting the finish line tape on a race he didn’t run”😂 🤣

[@staynlesjl]

He just never miss do he lol

[@vedadalsette1453]

You've become my favorite comedian over the past year. Love watching your clips.

[@semaj1077]

This guy has new material every week. Incredible

[@officiallaurenbrown]

Literally so stoked to laugh

[@jochenau9164]

A ventriloquist is a grown man who chats with stuffed animals while he violates them. It's not okay.

[@InAHollowTree]

🤣🤣🤣

[@RabblesTheBinx]

I mean, the puppets don't complain about having a hand up their ass. Gotta assume they like it. Just saying, kink-shaming is wrong.

[@tanisha.r.thomas]

That part😂😂😂

[@maryrosekent8223]

I’m so happy I never got married-I was engaged for a brief bit of time, but once my fiancé made my grandmother cry, it was over.

[@leeci33]

There’s a guys laugh in the background that is just a perfect “Ha ha ha ha ha” sound track laugh.

[@throwawayyoutube]

"you with you all day" 😆

[@jwvandegronden]

17:30 LOL The only black ventriloquist... An abomination! I don't know but of all the gold, that was the funniest bit of the entire set! Guy is a genius...

[@mikeCD62]

This man is the buckethead of comedy

[@clicheguevara5282]

Does he have a custom kill switch on his mic?

[@RetroGoosen-ux8ty]

Im actually up watching this at 1am after putting a screaming baby back to sleep😂 now I can’t go back to sleep.

[@CatyBee]

Best part of my Tuesday? Not tacos! It's being off of work and able to catch this early enough that it still has the new car smell!

[@tshiamokungwane7039]

"i would like the people that i love to die in order i love them in" 🤣🤣🤣it takes someone talented to make something that dark to be funny.

[@Roaming725]

Thank you so much for blessing us with all this laughter!

[@Noodlyk18]

Yo my dude is pumping out new and topical hilarious material so often, goddamn man someone get him a special

[@marinamavrogenis4381]

"The nap of a lifetime!" 😂

[@wonderwalledit]

I laugh through the whole thing 😆😁. Josh, I wish for you all the best and success in the world! 💕