Bryce Hall and Kissing Consent

[@AnnamarieForcino]

there are children who understand consent better than bryce hall

[@nastassjahall9358]

There are children that understand a lot of things better than bryce hall (god, get me a last name change)

[@minaglamsup4970]

@@nastassjahall9358 😂😂😂😂 sorry

[@whenthebughits9356]

as someone much younger than bryce, i can fairly confidently say i understand the concept of consent much better than him, and have known since ive been aware of kissing, or even hugging.

[@polly-fe3pq]

@@nastassjahall9358 rip

[@str4yk1dsw0rldd0minati0n]

@@nastassjahall9358 99% sure you can legally changed your last name

[@Imyourcherryybomb]

Asking "Can I kiss you?" Is the hottest thing ever I'm telling you.

[@heejinspiration7665]

Seulgi pfps only speak truth

[@Imyourcherryybomb]

@@heejinspiration7665 yup iktr!

[@kgbofficer5629]

Yessir

[@beingsodone]

Honestly someone who I am into asking me that bro I need to hold myself back from kissing so hard after that. Someone being into you and also valuing what you want is so attractive…. I mean it might be a low bar but I will take it still

[@Shannon-gz9pg]

Legit

[@cupcakewithouttheicing]

Even if Faith said the n word in the past (which is obviously not okay), that does not remove her right to consent or not. Also, if it is true that she had said it in the past, Bryce obviously didn't care about that until it was convenient for him to bring it up

[@thedestroyasystem]

Agreed. Someone can be in the wrong in one situation, and in the right in another. No person is going to be right or wrong all of the time.

[@DKF_oli]

Nothing he said about her in the aftermath has any relevance to her choosing not to kiss him.

[@suoutubez19]

agreed. why is it always convenient to bring up anti-black racism?

[@herefortheshrimp1469]

@@suoutubez19 It’s almost as if they actually don’t care about our oppression until it gets them a smidge of clout to use against other white ppl

[@luckyst4r32]

@@herefortheshrimp1469 exactly.

[@TaraMooknee]

anyone else remember when Jake Paul made some poor girl kiss his DAD?

[@thefacelessvillain172]

Unfortunately, I do.

[@polly-fe3pq]

yes, that was so disgusting wtf

[@shai5uhh]

**war flashbacks**

[@ratstanduser]

I sadly do remember :(

[@basementdwellercosplay]

Sadly yes

[@AndromedaD]

"Well people said she used a slur" is the worst after-the-fact defense for violating someone's consent

[@Limonenmixgetraenk]

Even if she did, it's screams "well, she deserved it". Which 1. shows that he isn't confident he did nothing wrong (obv) and 2. No, everyone has rights and you don't "deserve" to have your consent violated whether you did a crime, used a slur or have been a perfect angel.

[@oinkoink4407]

@@Limonenmixgetraenk it's the same excuse used by racists when a black person is murdered by the cops.

[@flip148]

Your kissing story is super endearing Duncan! I wish they'd show it more like that in movies, because honestly, it sounds pretty romantic. Like, the romcom scene was already playing out in my head

[@insertwittyusername9615]

thisssss

[@3timeslucky975]

I was In the exact same situation but when I asked it weirded them out, it was a really big blow to my self esteem because it made me feel like I had done something weird or wrong. Just to be clear it wasn’t as if they said no and I was upset, they told me that what I had done was weird. Clarifying what people are ok with should definitely be more of a societal norm, it’s cool that Duncan’s experience was positive not received from in a bad way

[@natalie-3737]

it was so wholesome I audibly went “AWW”

[@natalie-3737]

@@3timeslucky975 I totally agree. I don’t understand why this isn’t a more widely accepted way of kissing someone, although I think hopefully as conversations around consent improve that might change. I know a couple friends who have had their first kiss that way. It honestly might actually save a lot of awkwardness if people asked more, because who wants to be leaning into an unreciprocated kiss??? Or notice someone trying to kiss you without wanting it?? Asking I think also shows you respect the person and their bodily autonomy

[@madelineo4128]

Portrait of a lady on fire! In their first (?) kiss scene they’re both wearing scarves around their mouths, so both women have to remove them to kiss. The director said this is directly to show consent and celebrate the “eroticism of consent”

[@polybiiiusbutnot]

makes me sad how automatically conflict between influencers gets made fun of and devolved to just “internet drama” no matter the subject. they’re not held accountable enough because we’re all so desensitized to stuff like this anymore. glad you’re talking about it, duncan!

[@magnificloud]

Exactly! It's so cringeworthy to me when people conflate horrible behavior and even straight-up crimes with petty drama. Like no. This is way worse.

[@mariella2884]

Absolutely, I also cannot stand that "clout" has become what it has. If you accuse anyone with influence of anything the immediate notion of "clout chasing" pops up. Having influence shouldn't come with that defelection pass, you are capable of being disgusting while also having a following.

[@xryxix]

Fr it's so sad and disgusting how things get swept under the rug. Glad Kuncans talking about it cuz so many have been ignoring it while been seeing he's trying to get back in media

[@garbagesalt]

it's the same thing that happened with sabrina and gus, like sabrina almost died and people tried to brush it all off as "youtube drama" like, people online really need to get a grip on reality and the weight that these situations can have

[@ItsChesh]

This is the same thing happening with CSA and Emily Artful. So many people I’ve seen react to it have been calling it “drama” while this so called “drama” has issues with stalking, SA, and the failure of security on one’s life; that’s not drama, and when you start saying something like that is then you start to look like a huge clown (imo). Crimes and safety breaches aren’t drama.

[@ava_marie_v]

Bryce's responses just ooze entitlement, as well as paint a picture of a guy who can't be bothered to care about consent. The fact that he used her being sexual previously, as well as the claim that they'd hooked up, as some sort of defense gives the impression that he feels entitled and able to demand things from her. Coupled with the claims that he was using his fame almost as a way to peer pressure Faith into doing what he wanted (which I'm inclined to believe) he comes off as gross, arrogant, and predatory.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Stated perfectly.

[@katc2040]

He's going to have allegations coming out in the next few years I'm calling it

[@ava_marie_v]

@@katc2040 I wouldn't be surprised.

[@FouEliane]

also if he uses his fame to pressure her into kissing, one can reasonably wonder if it stops at kisses...

[@delvalle100]

His misogynist ass. He also insinuated Korina was a pedo who raped him just because homeboy was rejected by her. He needs therapy for his fuck up mindset asap

[@kelleyreeves965]

I'm happy she got up and left, i think it shows Bryce and the other boys that actions have consequences. I know some girls may be intimidated and feel uncomfortable trying to leave because they don't want to be a "buzzkill" or whatever

[@isharaj-silverman2411]

Frozen has Kristoff ask to kiss Anna. It's very sweet and in no way undermines the romance of the moment. They're awkward, so it's awkward, but the question itself is not portrayed as awkward, and I think that's great for kids to see.

[@miss_chelles1338]

BRO!- I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT SCENE TOO! 😂

[@Dethamaranth]

i hate the "oh you don't want this to be sexual? then explain this sexual post you made" rhetoric. like if someone wants to post content sexualizing themselves on their own account where they have control over their content, that doesn't automatically mean they're fine being sexualized in any situation... reminds me so much of the "well she was wearing revealing clothes!" argument. sickening. 🤢

[@mintvelvet3351]

This reminds me of an ex who i met up with in San Francisco for a weekend and the FIRST NIGHT on the FIRST DAY we met he tried to have sex with me because i made posts on FB about intimacy and how i missed it. Like dude, intimacy is more than just sex.

[@littlegreencap28]

I don’t have anything unique to say about the story - I don’t even have tik tok. But Duncan’s story about asking to kiss at the end was so wholesome, it made me wonder why people don’t write scenarios like that for tv.

[@Dethamaranth]

seriously! i thought that was adorable

[@kira540]

fr it was literally the most romantic story I’ve ever heard, I almost teared up??

[@tamsindave]

it sounded so cute + romantic

[@BoveeTV]

Given that Bryce Hall has also said the n-word I don’t think he gets to pretend that makes his side(in this situation) stronger

[@alittlefrogmindinghisbusin9670]

Exactly I don’t know why this isn’t being brung up more!

[@cupcakewithouttheicing]

8:22 I don't think many of us here are agreeing with Bryce anyway, but I also wanted to point out that in the clip of Faith dancing it seems to have been posted on her own account, meaning she has control over it. If she wanted to remove it later on, she could. But on the hot tub video it was not her content. Clearly, she can't control it, and she's probably not comfortable doing things that can be considered more sexual if she can't control that recording

[@katc2040]

They wouldn't even change the thumbnail after they gave her crap for not taking it farther

[@hgpt3084]

@@katc2040 exactly! She couldn’t control the message at all

[@alexrose20]

exactly she didn't wanna kiss him on stream bc she knew it would be used sexualize her in a way she had no control over. Bryce bringing up her past actions is completely irrelevant to him not respecting her consent. The fact that he didn't take down the thumbnail either speaks volumes on what he thinks of consent.

[@n4nocturnal]

There was asking for consent in "Easy A" when Penn Badgley asked if he could kiss Emma Stones character and Emma even says no. I've always liked that moment but that's the only example I can think of.

[@KairiKH21]

Great example!!!

[@Kay-po4pl]

As a girl, please ask. When I have a really big crush on someone, it’s exciting if they just kiss me, but I’ll also respect them so much and think of them as someone I’d consider being with long term if they asked first. Asking first tells me that you value communication even when it’s uncomfortable and that you’ll put my safety before your wants. If I don’t have a crush on you, I’ll be terrified and disgusted. It happens more often than you’d think and it completely destroys that relationship. Please ask. It’s best for everyone 😊

[@ithoughtiwascishet1316]

yes yes yes. idk why people think asking things like that will turn the other person off. if anything, “taking what you want” (or whatever those terrifying alpha males say) will turn them off more. consent is one of the most attractive things out there!!

[@borednerd5767]

​@@ithoughtiwascishet1316 absolutely! im in a long term relationship and we still ask for consent all the time and in my opinion, if youre gonna be kinky, making them beg for it >>>>>>> taking it by force

[@cozycasasmr4510]

AMEN the respect levels go up 1000%

[@cozycasasmr4510]

I dont remember what movies but I've seen in movies where the girl is like "don't ask to kiss me" 🙄🙄 like wtf clearly lines written by dumb men

[@ragdollrose2687]

And you can also have a crush on someone and not want to kiss them at this very moment. It happened to me, I was getting closer to someone at a party and I liked it. They asked to kiss me and I said I wasn't ready cause there was a lot of people around and it felt stressful. But they forced a kiss anyway and it's not right. Saying no doesn't negate the feelings. There's many reasons someone might not want to kiss, but you will not know if you don't ask. And they might just never want to kiss at all if you force it at the wrong time.

[@bethanythatsme]

As an ancient lady of 43, I'm so damn grateful that this is being discussed. In the late 90s & early 00s, if something happened that you didn't consent to, it was your fault for being there. Life is really damn difficult, hope you're all doing alright out there 🖤

[@oops383]

Consent is really important and makes the person who isn’t initiating feel comfortable and respected. If you don’t want it, even someone touching your waist or other intimate areas or hugging can feel like someone stepping on boundaries

[@speccysquaregolike9629]

I hate it when strangers touch me. Even if it's on the shoulder, it just gives me the creeps, no matter what their intention is

[@victai7014]

People touching me makes me anxious on varying levels but I recently met some friends of a friend for the first time and when I was going home, one of them asked if they could hug me, and I said no. I didn't realize until I got home how few times people had asked if I wanted a hug.

[@eragonarya225]

I have a LOT of problems with Call Me By Your Name, but the whispered “can I kiss you?” “yes please” exchange is one of the hottest things depicted in any movie to me. Like, I don’t like using the “consent is sexy” slogan because it’s mandatory and should be treated as such, but it *is* also super sexy.

[@buttercupghost]

I'm honestly a little bit surprised that this needs to be said, or that people don't see it as a big deal. I guess that shows I surrounded myself with pretty cool people, because this would not fly with any of us. Consent is important in more than just sexual situations, and it's disturbing to me how this was labeled as drama and nothing more, because as you were explaining the story I was outraged. Badgering someone to kiss you when they've already said no is a clear disregard for their consent and agency. Do people really not see this as a big deal, even the people who would otherwise preach about consent? That makes me think we don't understand consent at all, and people are just parroting stuff they don't understand to look good. That's actually really depressing.

[@analupo7861]

It unfortunately seems like kissing isnt seen as a thing that needs consent, which it absolutely does. For me personally, I have had to kiss someone without clear consent many times, waiting for it to end, because I felt like it was the least I could do to appease them, even when I didnt want to. And I feel bad thinking that there are probably countless others who felt like that at least once. Its not the worst thing in the world I guess, but it still sucks

[@suoutubez19]

It’s really great that you and your select group of friends wouldn’t ever act like this. But sexual harassment and assault exist in the world, regardless of how “cool” your company is

[@sunnyandthechlo]

@@suoutubez19 please point out where they said it didn't exist. They were just saying they're surprised that more people outside their circle don't share their same consideration.

[@LordOfElysium]

Sadly, KZbinrs can watch and video someone being sexually assaulted and STILL have a damn career as it’s “just some drama” and it “goes away”.

[@iamfukked7064]

"The consent conversation...needs some work" by Khadija Mbowe is another good video on consent.

[@miscellaneous_frogs]

The only example of a character asking to kiss someone that I can think of is Kristoff to Anna at the end of Frozen 1

[@marnenotmarnie259]

chad kristoff

[@stupidass69420]

@@marnenotmarnie259 true

[@mariella2884]

Watching Faith break down in her second reply was heartbreaking. Fact is, prior to the stream consent was expressly denied. Every push and nudge he gives her is another attempt to interfere with her autonomy, super worrying stuff.

[@ChezzaOuttaNowhere]

Also, as a black woman. Bryce not understanding consent is more important than a potentially false accusation about the “n-word”.

[@reganhirst915]

I’ve not heard about this story before but Bryce saying that that he didn’t remove the thumbnail as a “fuck you” is like so not okay! He clearly doesn’t respect faith at all. Also she can dance and shake her ass on her own account that’s her right but using that to diminish her consent is fucking awful. She consented to doing a dance (that could be perceived as sexual) on her own page on her own accord. She is in control of that situation. Being sexual with another person who you don’t trust like faith not trusting Bryce puts you in a vulnerable position and I don’t see how Bryce can’t understand that. His entitlement and lack of respect to faith is gross End of rant

[@l33machine]

Consent is vital. I'm in a (poly) relationship with two men and at one point, one of them came over to visit me in my state (it's long distance relationship). He was very shy so I never pressured him into anything. But at one point, just to make sure, I asked him if he wanted to make out. He said no and we went about the rest of our stay having fun. It's so easy to just accept that the other part is too shy/not interested/not ready for certain things, no matter the circumstances. Don't pressure people into anything.

[@sawyerblossom7244]

It doesn't matter if someone has said yes in the past. A new, enthusiastic yes in every new situation is the only thing that is consent.

[@CamDollar]

The way he acts like because she did so and so before means she doesn’t have the option to revoke her consent is scary. Some guys really act like they don’t get it, but it’s like if you consented and signed papers to have your wisdom teeth removed and the dentist goes “well you consented to me removing ur teeth” when you wake up and are shocked to see all your teeth missing. They act like they don’t get consent but they completely understand that just because someone invited you to their home once, doesn’t mean you live there and can show up whenever. It’s like they only don’t get it when it comes to a girl not wanting to be sexualized when she doesn’t consent to it

[@susan4912]

When I was in high school I was kissed without my consent and it sent me into a spiral and ended with me breaking things off and dissociating for an entire 10 hour shift on Christmas eve. I dont think this would happen to everyone by any means but some things that don't seem like a big deal to one person can be another's catalyst for a mental breakdown. (Said person also had "consent is key" in their Twitter bio BEFORE the kiss occurred. Ironic.)

[@marnenotmarnie259]

that's messed up man i'm sorry :(

[@foreverNwonder]

Ugh I’m so sorry!!! Hope they get exposed and don’t harm anyone else 😢

[@susan4912]

@@foreverNwonder I honestly think it's just a case of them needing to grow up and learn from their mistakes. We were kids and didn't communicate well. I dont know where they are or what they're doing now but I hope they've matured and are living a good life.

[@BogaP4X639]

I hope more people watch this, I don't know these people but Bryce's arguments are the same that a rapist would use and it's scary that kids on tiktok are watching that and thinking that's normal

[@underhypedandoverrated]

I am 100% on board for making “can I kiss you” the norm moving forward, especially in the time of a pandemic. Thank you for sharing your college kiss story, Duncan it was quite cute and endearing

[@thedestroyasystem]

I don’t know anything about this situation, but just from the title it sounds bad. I look forward to hearing what you have to say, your opinions are always so well rounded and thoughtful. Your videos always give me something new to think about.

[@SuperNicktendo]

I was on a date, it went really well, we went back to her place and we talked some more. Then finally I asked "wanna make out?" And now we've been together for 13 years and married for 7.

[@Snarl_Marx]

On our first date my boyfriend (now husband of 6 years) actually ASKED if he could kiss me. He was the first guy to *ever* ask me first. It really does make a huge difference.

[@elusivemayfly7534]

Love these stories!

[@andieri6377]

I used to always ask my girlfriend if i could kiss her bc i never wanted to spook her. But after 2.5 years, we reached a point that there are just random smooches without notice lol. But we always prioritize consent❤ my girlfriend appreciated that i asked, but we both knew that eventually we wouldnt have to ask anymore haha

[@cam66eleven66]

It's heartwarming when someone is polite enough to ask to kiss you and they go out of their way to make sure the situation is low pressure. As you mentioned, the confidence that it's what both people want is what allows you to enjoy it

[@bsings7928]

I’m autistic and I’ve always been extremely uncomfortable with every kind of physical touch. I’m also a fantastic masker so most people don’t know I’m autistic. Before the pandemic many of my friends would give me hugs without notice or permission and I’d yell and push them off me. They thought I was joking but I’d go into the bathroom and cry after. When my grandma gives me kisses it’s the most uncomfortable thing in the world. I only enjoy affection from like 2 people and dogs. The pandemic has helped with physical touch consent but I can’t even explain how much my life would improve if people asked before a hand shake. It’s not only sexual interactions that are upsetting without consent. (I’ve also experienced that though, not trying to say that consent isn’t crucial there too)

[@Sunfl0wer567]

As someone who has been SA’d twice by being kissed after actively saying no, this was a nice video to see. Consent is important always. Thank you.

[@paascaaldiepotatoe7869]

The story at the end is so sweet. Duncan seems genuinely like the coolest dude ever

[@LezbeOswald]

literally, getting close to someone and very quietly and earnestly asking, "can i kiss you?" is sexier than just a sudden kiss with someone who you're not in an established relationship with lmfao.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Kind of random, but I really appreciate you using gender neutral language in your segment about your college kiss. We need to normalize speaking about people without gendering them, and not assuming gender when it’s not mentioned. Just thought that was cool to see. :)

[@user-mz1ub6yd8w]

I noticed that too!

[@user-sf9gs2pg1b]

I think that’s great, but what purpose does not speaking about people with a gender serve? If I’m talking about a woman, for instance, unless I wanted to hide her gender, I don’t see the point to misgender her by using they/them pronouns when she goes by she/her.

[@hotpotato1898]

@@user-sf9gs2pg1b personally I don't feel as if using they them pronouns for most people would be classed as misgendering. Could be different for others but I wouldn't care if someone used they/them for me, even if I don't have them in my bio or something. I see it as being neutral imo

[@miglek9613]

@@user-sf9gs2pg1b if someone who knew Duncan at the time watches the video and the person kissed doesn't want others to know about the kiss, using neutral language makes identifying the person more difficult. Also, idk if Duncan has openly stated his sexuality so it also helps to keep that private if he wants it. However, hiding the gender of past partners/crushes like that can really out people if straight people don't do it so normalizing this practice keeps actually closeted gay people safer. Additionally, we don't know if Duncan is still in contact with the person so if he isn't in contact with them not gendering them prevents misgendering in case they have come out as trans or non binary since considering a lot of trans people realize their gender later in life. In general, not gendering people is really simple and there is no reason to gender people in stories where a person's gender is not relevant

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@user-sf9gs2pg1b it helps keep them anonymous. If you don’t want to reveal someone’s identity, or aspects of it, you can refer to them neutrally. Duncan wouldn’t have been wrong to use gendered language in regards to this person (if they use those pronouns oc) but that eliminates some anonymity. They/them is a neutral pronoun, meaning that it’s only misgendering if you know the person doesn’t use those pronouns, AND aren’t referring to them anonymously or in a general sense.

[@rampion1228]

There's a scene in new girl where CeCe is like "never ask a girl if you can kiss her it's really lame" and it makes me really sad. I'm glad to see someone talking about this because it's an important subject that people tend to ignore or treat as silly.

[@MoaisNotmyname]

I have to say that you are incredibly good at describing the current situation you're talking about, and then explaining your point of view. A point of view that at least I personally always find very agreeable. And something I've noticed a lot is that you reason and talk about these kinds of issues regarding sexism in a way that I, a woman who's been subjected to similar events, wouldn't be able to. I find myself slipping into the mindset that has been made more common in social media, and then a few seconds later having a moment of realisation when you point out the flaws in it. Thank you so much for this. Not only for teaching potential "aggressors" about sexism, but also potential victims who have been taught to blame themselves. This is so incredibly important, and you are doing such a good job. Thank you. Thank you.

[@inkimi9306]

Thanks for this comment! It's so easy to blame oneself, and then blame oneself for blaming oneself. Your comment made me more aware of the endless blame spiral, and it's refreshing to let go of the guilt for a moment! 😊

[@hannahjuneyu]

Thank you for this Duncan, consent is so important! There’s a trend on TikTok where people are kissing their best friends suddenly out of nowhere and it always made me feel so uncomfortable since they never ask for consent. You could definitely do a video about it!

[@kmcclellan9820]

Duncan! Thank you so so much for talking about kissing consent! To hear your story about your own experience with it was so validating for me! I've had girls tell me that I'm cute for asking for consent to kiss and alternatively, laugh at me for asking to kiss (like I'm a dork or something). So to hear that you did the exact same thing (and it worked) made me smile so big. I believe it is the right thing to do with a potential partner and I will never stop asking for consent! Even if I am a dork for it... at least I'm not a jerk!

[@luiguigi]

The first and only time ive been kissed was without my permission and when i was 7 years old and i think i probably need therapy because of it. I am very defensive about people getting within 4 feet of me no matter how much i trust them and my brain has been convinced that kissing is inherently bad no matter who the other person is

[@luiguigi]

The other person was also 7 at the time, and unfortunately hes one of the only 4 people from my elementary school who goes to the same high school as me lol

[@paascaaldiepotatoe7869]

I love the ambiance of Duncan’s room. It makes me feel very welcome :)

[@SolarisMusic]

i just want to say that yes, asking for consent even for simple things like kissing makes things so much more comfortable and open. i will have a much better time with someone who asks first than with someone who just dives in, because i know i can trust them not to do anything without my consent or if i'm not 100% sure. fuck being "smooth," i'd rather someone be safe.

[@sorryifoldcomment8596]

I really appreciate you sharing the story! It's sad, but according to a lot of guys, including some creators online & general PUA techniques...you should have just "read her signals." An awful phrase that people have repeated & defended for decades...seemingly unaware that what they're actually saying is "don't ask for consent." *Don't give her a chance to say no.* In practice, that's what a guy does when he "reads my signals" and (conveniently) assumes I want him. If your story was told by someone else, they wouldn't have gone back, so they would have never kissed - which is how most end. And the conclusion they'd come to?..."I should've just gone for it when I had the chance." They wouldn't have regretted failing to do what you did (ask for consent), but for doing the opposite (and what you failed to do throughout the night): not asking for consent. "You should have just taken advantage of a time when her mouth was closed and not talking! That's when you're supposed to go for it, grab her and kiss her. You know, when she's silent and her mouth is closed, you use your mouth and body to take advantage of her silence by literally blocking her mouth and her ability to speak (by kissing). That would've worked!" 🙃 I have some bad memories if you can't tell, lol. I'm sick of being touched without my consent, because the guy does it without asking, without giving me a chance to say no or yes. I'm sick of guys telling other guys that the best way to get me to kiss them is by literally not giving me a chance to say no. I'd actually like to kiss some guys, but only after they ask for consent. But, because I'd be down with kissing them, technically, therefore "reading my signals" would lead them to grab me and kiss me before asking....Which is simply not the same experience for me, at all. And it'd be a shame, because the guy will have ruined it, despite following what he's heard and assumes is the best practice, of course. Just because I'd like to kiss him in one context, doesn't mean I'd like him to kiss me whenever, wherever. I also only want to kiss a man who gives a damn about whether or not I'm enjoying what he's doing to me. I've spent so much of my life just silently being touched by men, whether groping, kissing, or during sex, where I just zone out and think about how they don't care, they don't give a shit, and I don't feel like I'm even on the same planet as them. I have no idea what they're thinking. Are they at least convinced themselves that I'm enjoying this and on the same page? Have they not considered my feelings at all? Or, have they considered my feelings and actively decided they don't care? It's just so disrespectful when I can tell the guy's desire for me to not stop it is clearly his priority. In summary...If you're confident they want you to kiss them, then you shouldn't worry about them saying no. 🤔 (I know initiating the actual conversation is difficult and that awkwardness might change her yes to a no...But fundamentally, if you're confident enough in her willingness that you'll kiss her without asking, then you should be able to ask, at least over text beforehand.) Ok that's my rant haha. I really appreciate you and your videos. :) When I can work again and have money to spare, I'm going to start donating to Creators on Patreon again and you're in my new list!

[@brookey3888]

the whole point you made about the "spontaneous kiss" is so important. it looks good on camera because the characters don't anticipate it, but the actors do. the amount of times i have had a very uncomfortable and awkward kiss thrust on me by a man is astonishing. my ex, when kissing me for the first time, leaned in super quick while i was MID SENTENCE and then got mad and upset when i moved away. if i see someone lurch towards my face unexpectedly then yes i will flinch. there are so many small things in movies and tv shows that don't seem like a massive deal when being shown, but all together create a warped and harmful idea of "romance" in people's heads, especially for men who don't have much experience with relationships. all they know is what women are shown to like through media.

[@m00nwalker32]

Him showing faith dancing provocatively as a "comeback” just shows the stupid twisted way he thinks about womens sexuality and consent. I could want some tea now but That doesn’t mean I want tea all the time Just like how I could want to be sexual now and or provocative Doesn’t mean I want to be sexualised all the time. There is a time and place And I should get to choose those times with my own body.

[@probablypositivity8918]

Exactly, his argument just sounds like "look what she was wearing, she was asking for it."

[@daniboy4153]

Victim blaming at it's finest

[@neivilde.1242]

okay but you going back to the door and phsyically say " i'm sorry i should've asked this before, but can i kiss you?" and them responding yes is literally a romcom moment, it's the kind of thing i would write if i wrote romantic moments, like i picture it happening, i see every shot i hear the music, i even see the acting choices, it's literally my ideal of what incompasses a romcom moment. also, in portrait of a lady on fire, there is a scene where they're both wearing a veil over their face, and they have to physically take it off before kissing which is a very nice visual way to show consent, even if it's very specific to that.

[@captain1697]

Dude. Your commentary adds so much more than just a summary of events. High quality, deeper dives into topics, everything-and also, I feel this topic is very very important and I’m very glad you touched on it!

[@ClassicRuby]

Lol my hubby and I are watching and you get to around the 16:00 minute mark and say you cannot think of any kinda movie where consent is asked for for a kiss... My hubby immediately piped up "Casper!" And so I was like "where?!" And so he patiently reminded me of the scene where Casper whisper talks "can.. can I kiss you?" So...I guess it's all in what really imprints on your mind. He went up the stairs muttering about other movies with the kissing consent present but I can't hear him clearly and I really don't have time for more fully acted out movie scenes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@GothVampiress]

'should i apologize, even if i'm not in the wrong' is such a telling statement. like, the apology isn't to absolve you of anything, it's to make the other person feel better because of what you did. absolutely wild.

[@Nico-pd6kr]

Thank you for covering this. You always touch on topics the bigger channels seem to sleep on. Always appreciate your videos, thank you for bringing things to light that big commenter YTbersjust… dont . Which I don’t understand. Thank you for keeping it real.

[@rdarkstorm8414]

16:04 In Frozen, Kristoff asks if he can kiss Anna before he does. It's the first example that springs to my mind, but in fairness I've seen Frozen several times

[@blehfizz6194]

honestly as a teen, I really do appreciate you bringing up the importance of consent with kissing. I've always seen movies or TV shows where people just kiss and it honestly makes me uncomfortable. I couldn't stand the thought of someone randomly kissing my lips out the blue. My other friends also shared the same view. I definitely think it's something that should be talked about more and represented in media.

[@13thheartbeat]

duncan, i think you have some of the best takes in the entire commentary community. you seem like such a level-headed respectful person, and you know exactly how to present all sides of a story. love ur stuff

[@ritachambers782]

In the Death Note movie, the main character asks to kiss the love interest, then she TELLS HIM HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO ASK which is gross

[@magnificloud]

:) Duncan's anecdote was so wholesome

[@Kay-po4pl]

Super helpful too to give an example. You still get the girl when you ask and y’all can both feel good about it 💗

[@slcpunk_]

The first time my boyfriend kissed me, he asked if he could kiss me. I thought it was adorable and respectful. I didn’t think it was dorky at all. ❤️

[@brib6046]

That kiss story that you shared was perfect. I would love to watch a scene like that

[@iwillcry]

it scares me that a lot of these "bad guy" tiktokkers probably have thousands of young followers who think bryce and guys like him are in the right. and hey that college story was really cute, glad you shared it as a great example of how to approach kissing someone, ton of people need to hear more stories like that!

[@bboomerbienchen]

8:30 thanks for the wake up call. A split second after the TikTok I was like something on the lines of “wow she’s kinda two-faced”. I’m so sick of being brainwashed with what society tries to teach everyone about consent.

[@basementdwellercosplay]

I've never seen anyone so uncomfortable and definitely not wanting to be involved in a while, hope Faith is okay

[@moderndaycain]

i love that you made this video. consent is so overlooked when it comes to kissing. i loved your consensual kiss story, that was so heartwarming, and showed how romantic asking for consent can be.

[@tempbauer2131]

I have a HUGE mess to clean up. Duncan saying, “I wanna shake my @ss on video then NOT wanna kiss Bryce Hall.” I know I didn’t quote quite right but still..... I was eating. Food in mouth. Laughed it came out then still laughing and trying to grab the napkin and I knock my plate over. It’s like I’m friggin live action cartoon right. This is why I think we all enjoy Duncan so much! He informative, creative, funny, adorable! He’s like your lil bro ir big bro or nephew or whatever. Instant comfortable chemistry and safe fun vibes! Thanks Duncan

[@Maria_745]

Wow the way Bryce talks about the situation is so predatory. He literally gaslit her in real time on the stream. Even if you have a relationship with someone where you do everything, that doesn't give you ownership to their body and the power to decide where and what they'll do. Also I loved the kissing story lol I think it's a good thing for adults to ask consent before kissing (I think there's slightly more "can I kiss you" as a teenager/in media around that age because they're less experienced. Maybe feeling more immature than awkward is why adults don't typically say it). I would totally be the person to catch the vibe but just go home lol so there's also a benefit for the shy people shooting their shot

[@freakette555]

My college requires everyone to complete two workshops on consent when they're a freshman, and I found it really annoying when I was going through it during my first year, but this situation is a really good reminder of why there's so much focus on consent education.

[@ashleynorton]

One time I took my friend out to a bar with my law school cohort. The friend is gorgeous and loves deep talks. One of my law school friends was super drunk and caught up talking to her. He asked if he could kiss her. She said no thanks. He said okay. And the two continued talking about life for the rest of the night. More men need to take rejection in stride the way he did that night.

[@Sienhall]

The visual of the microphone behind you while you continue to use your phone as a mic…I love it. Bryce’s legal “threats” are so funny because influencers love to throw this around with no actual legal leg to stand on. Consent is consent. It shouldn’t be debated, period. I hate that Faith was made out to be a bad person for having a standard to control her image. Good for her for standing that ground.

[@eviekiwi245]

What a polite, kind, understanding, and well spoken KZbinr!

[@Mayonnaise420]

Thank you for bringing up the importance of verbal consent in kissing. I’ve had this conversation before with some friends and they said that they don’t like it and think asking verbally for consent makes it “not a real kiss”, and that really upset me. It makes me angry that the media has so greatly warped our perception of consent that we now consider asking permission to kiss someone cowardly or lame, and it’s truly mind boggling that apparently potentially unwanted physical contact is seen as better than just being told no.

[@willybean9614]

I quickly googled this and it absolutely amazes me how i have never heard of this story before

[@astronautsamuel_xxv2295]

I would love the idea of the live stream with instagram models actually. You can interview them about their points on consent, how it affects their daily lives, and much more interesting topics. I feel like they are often dismissed as "just models" and not people who work hard for a living and they have to deal with multiple judgements on their body and how they look (and/or perceived) by the industry and even just by regular people.

[@breheh]

Thanks Duncan, I couldn't find any good content anywhere today 😩💜

[@dorinhaaaaa]

i just have to say i loved your story about kissing your friend! thats was so sweet, sounds like a movie

[@lapatti]

When I was 15 I had this group of friends, one of the guys (the dorky one, I guess) tried to kiss me. I honestly didn't see it coming and I rejected him. It was awkward afterwards and I felt so bad for him. I like to think that, if he asked me, things would have been different. At least I would have known he had a crush on me and I would have looked at him in a different way. In my experience those type of kisses only work in movies

[@eriswriterforbadastra]

This video is super important. I was kissed by a partner after explicitly saying "no" when he asked and it was Not Okay and tbh pretty traumatizing. It often shows as a warning sign to an attitude of disregard towards other kinds of consent (which, surprise surprise. He did some Legally Not Okay things too. I'm thankful I had/have a good therapist.). Doesn't matter the relationship, doesn't matter the context; if consent is revoked at any time and that is not respected, that is Not Okay.

[@genericusername8632]

The ending of Frozen is a good example of consentual kissing in a movie. Love you channel by the way, Keep up the good work

[@Grindelleatyou]

the fact that she's still in his thumbnail tells me all I need to know about this dude even if her story isn't true, the second she made it clear that she didn't want to be in the thumbnail that should have been the end of the discussion, instead he turns it into a powerplay because his ego is so big he can't see out of his own eye sockets

[@toomuchellison]

oh look my new favorite youtuber just uploaded

[@-Desire]

Consent is very fluid y'all. You could be mid pump into a hole and your partner could refuse to go further, yes it might be irritating and buzzkill-y but once they refuse to do it, consent is no longer there.

[@kanelives609]

Can't fully express how much appreciation i have for you, your nuance, your cleverness, and your empathy. I'm really enjoying all the work you put out!

[@laurenl22]

Your kissing story is so romantic and sweet and respectful omg..... I'm dying inside. You're great Duncan! I look forward to more of your content!! ❤️

[@nkk_23]

streams are definitely not "supposed" to end with a bang. it's not necessary, most streamers just leave because at that point (towards the end of a stream) a lot of viewers have left anyway

[@scaramash]

your story is really heartwarming. it’s really cute i think. i think the dorkiness in the phrase “can i kiss you” is so cute

[@FlopFlopHyeon]

yes kuncan, I've been stalking your page for the last hour to watch this video. ive missed birthdays, graduations, all of it. but it was worth it.. just to watch your video lol

[@juliettedemaso7588]

This is not just about kissing. It’s about transactional intimacy, the insane power of on-camera coercion, classic tired-ass power dynamics, and the consequences for refusing whatever it is you’ve been expected to do. Often fear of retribution is enough to compel people to give in to something they otherwise wouldn’t. And look at what we have here now. Retribution. There are several alternate scripts to that video; he could have used her idea of a swerve to add to both of their “clout”, by laughing together afterward and being totally cool with it. It could have showed in real time how seeking and respecting consent is actually sexy. How intimacy isn’t sexy, worthy or safe when its ambiguously transactional. Dude missed a chance at being way cooler than how he came across. Being collaborative with a woman instead of cheesy fake topping. But he had to stubbornly selfishly double down instead, now he’s hurting her to ease his own embarrassment. Which doesn’t work anyway. You may get some simps, like Crabbe and Goyle.. 🙄 If the whole point of his hot tub stream is making himself look desirable or cool or successful or whatever then.. oops. Fail. I hope he learns from this and changes his narrative. Use his Platform for good.

[@reginarodriguez1477]

bryce hall has the most forgettable face i’ve ever seen, every time he’s off screen i immediately forget what he looks like

[@EmJob8]

I am so glad I found this channel. You deserve every one of the subscribers you have. Wow. Great content. I look forward to more from you

[@phospadparadschaa]

its also like, a health hazard to spontaneously kiss people without their consent. not just in the age of covid, but swapping spit with people can lead to mono or catching other illnesses you're entirely unprepared for, especially if you don't trust the person you're kissing. it's incredibly uncool of bryce and predatory to be encouraging his fans (mostly 15 year old boys) to be harassing her for saying she was uncomfortable. it makes me wonder how many of the other girls in his videos felt the same as faith but were too intimidated by him and his vindictive behavior to defend themselves...

[@KZesty]

I very much appreciate the energy of this video and your words. As a woman, it's great to see men out there speaking this positive message. Media makes it out to seem that women want aggressive, hypermasculine men but I think that's mostly what the men want to see. 😂 Gentleness and asking for consent even on small levels is the coolest thing ever to me.

[@bearowl4101]

The movie kiss thing annoys me too because someone tried to kiss me like in a movie and I had to duck my head to get out of the situation. I was talking, something I like doing, when he hit me with the, "You talk too much" line and went in for the kiss. I gave no indication I saw him as anything other than a new friend (keep in mind I only knew him for a few days).

[@clahey]

Christoph asking Anna before kissing her in Frozen is one of the great things about that movie.

[@PerfectionInLoss]

i’ve been kissed when i wouldn’t have consented so, so many times. i wish we could abolish the spontaneous need people seem to have in regards to kissing and focus more on both parties’ consent. i one hundred percent would prefer being asked and risking ‘ruining the moment’ as people seem to think it will than add another incident to that list. (not to mention, it doesn’t ruin anything. it’s better.)

[@pandas4evr123197]

Off topic, but I love when I can tell which clip from your videos is going in the "Out of context" compilation at the end of the year

[@kiki-drawer2669]

Consent is sexy. The one time I was asked if I could be held it was romantic. It was reassuring. I felt safe in the moment. Knowing you can say no at any time actually made me want to participate in the togethernes more. Consent allows both parties to be on the same wavelength quicker and easier then you would if you were guessing

[@fullstop7666]

The fact that Bryce thought him being uncomfortable with her swerving him was the same thing as her being uncomfortable kissing him… Also that college kissing story was super fucking adorable

[@elusivemayfly7534]

I thought your college kissing story was very romantic! It brought up a nice college memory for me. Listening to Pavement’s “Spit on a Stranger” with a crush and mutually leaning in for a kiss. It can be hard to share that kind of story from a different time in your life because it feels vulnerable. Anyway, there’s one of mine to keep yours company!

[@SomeOne-uw6hx]

Amazing just as always and I'm glad you made that video it's an important topic and lacks that type of coverage. One that talks about a specific issue and makes the point about the underlying issue