Buddhist Story That'll Make You Rethink Anger

[@ProgressMastery]

How did you like this video? Would love to know your thoughts!

[@toddhaydon783]

Great story! Do you have a story about having kindness and compassion for all beings?

[@stevejordan9505]

Beautifully said and so simple to understand.

[@jiayijiayi7281]

very enlightening. ❤

[@DG-uh8uv]

Thank you so much for this video! I’m a shadow coach (the work developed by Carl Jung). This is such a simple and beautiful way of explaining how things trigger us, why they trigger us, and that it is all from within us. We cannot control others…or an empty boat. we can work on learning about ourselves, and why we react the way we do. We can learn to have compassion for ourselves and for others.

[@pauldow1648]

Resonance

[@spiritinflux]

“Anger is the punishment we give ourselves for other peoples actions.”

[@michaelmccoy1794]

That Is an outstanding nugget of proverbial wisdom to emphasize the lesson of the monk's tale..😊

[@Dreamskaype]

I'm a therapist and I often use a variant of that to help my clients rethink their anger. "Feeling anger is punishing yourself for a crime someone has committed against you."

[@HiddenBrilliance]

Ooooooh.

[@ProgressMastery]

Interesting

[@little.bear344]

@@Dreamskaype Hi. Can therapy help with insomnia? Also, can people be prescribed something for insomnia and have therapy?

[@encompassvideo5429]

I took an anger management course during covid. Best thing I ever did. I stopped taking everything personally and began to see things from all different perspectives. I never knew that a simple course like that, perhaps two months in length, could have such a positive benefit for me and my family. It really works, and I recommend it. Don't let anger control you like I did. Life is too short. Do yourself and your family a big favor. And believe me, I was the guy ( maybe like you) who thought that anger management was for wife-beaters, criminals, etc. I was wrong and I am glad I did it. Try it!

[@PeterPepper93]

Underrated comment

[@little.bear344]

I'm angry that I can't have self control. All I want is to not be angry and that itself makes me angrier because I am rarely in control of my emotions. I'm getting help but it's been difficult because I'm poor and don't have access to good mental health care. It's a nightmare because I also have chronic insomnia, which makes controlling my emotions a thousand times more difficult. I'm trying, day by day.

[@ProgressMastery]

Appreciate you sharing this

[@DistracticusPrime]

@@little.bear344 I'm no expert, but I noticed in myself a positive change cycle where I gradually slept better as my emotional discipline improved, and better sleep made it easier to respond instead of react. It took work and changes in both areas to see results in either.

[@little.bear344]

@@DistracticusPrime Thank you, that's actually insightful. If you don't mind me asking, did you see a therapist and did you have anything prescribed to help you sleep or what methods did you use to get sleep, besides disciplining and controlling your emotions? Reaction versus response- I also appreciate you saying that. It's very true.

[@JDavidHopkins]

I was worse than that monk. One time, I was walking my dog on a leash & I saw 2 unleashed dogs hanging around a man working on a car. I thought, “What an irresponsible dog owner!” & walked away self-righteously condemning him. Then, a few minutes later a women drove up in a car & said she had lost her 2 dogs & asked if I had seen them. I realized the man was not the owner & I was falsely condemning him. What a stooge I was!

[@eabutler6861]

why does a dog need to be leashed if they are not a nuisance .... how would you like to be leashed? Respect all life.

[@infoseeker]

​@@eabutler6861 Many places throughout the USA have laws requiring dogs to be on a leash. Dogs should only be off-leash on the owner's property and nowhere else. It's also a safety issue as well.

[@eabutler6861]

@@infoseeker i was kind of kidding, but America is a damn police state these days.... go find some killers and leave the dogs alone and let me choose to not use a seat belt if I'm driving 1 minute away...lol. again all jokes but it can get tiresome, china doesn't even bother people for small things like that.

[@sjckb04]

Well your also a bit of a Karen as dog owners have every right not to have the dog leashed as they would be on the owners property!

[@theatomic430]

@@sjckb04 You're.

[@franksullivan1873]

As someone told me long ago ,”you cannot control what others do but you can control yourself.”

[@grayrecluse7496]

Not exactly,true.

[@SusannaSaunders]

That that right there shows the total stupidity of it all. Nothing you do makes a shit load of difference.

[@mmo5366]

Some people can’t even control themselves.

[@BC-wj8fx]

Someone told me that too. That someone was a covert abuser, attempting to silence me when I was going to expose the group of corrupt co-abusers that this person was linked to. Abusers love trying to convince you that you can't stop the abuse, you can only go off and heal yourself. This is a devilish deception. YOU CAN influence people. Everyone absolutely influences the people around them. You can't 100% absolutely control what others do but you can 99% influence what they try to do in future. If you just silently take abuse without showing anger, they will most likely do it again and again and again. If you instead push back and show you won't stand for it, most likely they will stop or at minimum moderate, hesitate or delay the next abuse. :)

[@AlterAbility]

You can control yourself in the sense that your opinions of good and bad are entirely up to you because no one can force you to hold an opinion (i.e., belief, judgment). It will likely take time to undo many of the opinions that cause us to mentally suffer.

[@jamesbrady2156]

My son has been trying to teach me this lesson for years. Now that I have seen your video I see the lesson I must learn AND my son's efforts to teach it to me. Thank you.

[@timothyjones74]

I was taught by my Sicilian wife this process. It works well when confronted by an empty boat with or without intent.”Just because someone or something opens a bag, you don’t have to jump in”😂

[@little.bear344]

I think all mothers teach a similar lesson when you do something wrong because your friend did it and they say, "So if your friend jumps off a bridge, you'll do it too?"

[@jsmall10671]

I had never heard that allegory before. I like it a lot actually. A saying that was meaningful to me was: "Others don't make you angry. You allow yourself to get angry over what other people do."

[@ProgressMastery]

Exactly!

[@kiraflash4596]

You wouldn’t believe how much it angers people when they can’t anger you..

[@nickiemcnichols5397]

You will no longer be brought to anger when you don’t desire to anger others.

[@ProgressMastery]

Truly!

[@hobowithawaterpistol9070]

It’s funny how that works, almost every situation good or bad, people want you to feel like they do in the moment!

[@gomer2813]

It angers them more when you are angry.

[@tigalbaby]

Removing bitterness, anger and hate from within is so necessary but so challenging. Yet we must cleanse these harmful emotions from our minds to achieve deep inner peace. Gratitude to the Buddha for this wisdom . May those empty boats we encounter always remain neutral and harmless vessels to our emotions. Om mani padme hum .

[@HocusPocus6969]

There is nothing wrong with anger, it is a natural emotion, you will never be “cleansed” of it or any other emotions. Its what you do with them that matters.

[@its_me_dave]

@@HocusPocus6969 Good luck with that ...🤣🤣🤣

[@michaelmccoy1794]

​@@its_me_dave it's not about luck, lad. I mean Dave. 😊

[@little.bear344]

​@@HocusPocus6969Anger can be countered and diminished with more positive qualities and traits without bottling up the anger. I'm a firm believer in expression and anger is no exception but its expression should be constructive, not destructive.

[@augustwest8559]

I learned this same lesson from the movie pale rider. It’s what people know about themselves that makes them afraid of others.

[@ESLTeacherTom]

Don't demonize anger. It's a life-saver. Just don't dwell there.

[@barbaratruitt9484]

Thank you.

[@Live-Life-Freely]

Anger is a spirit that you can either feed or observe until it realizes that you won't engage in it's stupid emotional games. Most women live and thrive of off anger and men with anger are just like women. "Hell hath no fury..."

[@Hurt-to-Healing]

​@@Live-Life-Freely and you are so better than women?

[@pearljones5388]

Who is that empty boat that said men with anger are like women 😂 can we push it over the waterfall

[@Senjinone]

@@Live-Life-Freely Wrong. The goal is the right feeling at the right time in the right amount. Anger at the right time in the right amount is absolutly vaild and pretending otherwise is some fake masulinity bullshit. With that said, most people have the some part of that wrong.

[@SusannahDKirksey]

This story has completely shifted my perspective on the work that is before me right now in my life. I love the title of the story too, and find it a useful mantra when going into situations that could trigger me. Empty boat, empty boat, empty boat…

[@SusannahDKirksey]

“What begins with anger, ends in shame.” Benjamin Franklin

[@superflea72]

I needed this today…thank you

[@ProgressMastery]

You are welcome

[@mrsmirnoff8715]

But then the Monk saw someone on the bank of the lake who yelled to him, "Could you bring my boat back, I forgot to moor it!".

[@morrisstewart1528]

And the monk quietly whispered... this mothafu...

[@reallue]

Or he saw his toxic ex had stolen tht boat, rowed all the way out to the middle of the lake, just to ram it into his boat as hard as she could, trying to sink his boat & ruin his day, if not his life, outa nothing but pure, unjustified spite. That's the boat that keeps running into me, anyway. It's definitely not empty. & it's hard to convince myself its not intentional, when she does it all the time

[@paddlefar9175]

@@morrisstewart1528You Morris’s, are one funny dude!

[@GBJHMVLCJ]

@@morrisstewart1528 lmao

[@ryandegrave8978]

Then the monk remembered that lakes have shores, not banks, and realized it was again all in his mind.

[@gordonwalter4293]

Beautiful and deeply consistent with all of Buddhism but cleverly framed in Zen.

[@Da_Xman]

Isn't Zen the Japanese form of Buddhism?

[@agrobeson6471]

From the ninth century CE, migrating to the Island Kingdom. Important to note here: it's practice is known as 'zazen', literally 'not Zen'. Difficult to speak of Zen ~ hence the parables. Yes, the strawberry was good.

[@flemmingbisgaard521]

I learnt almost a life time ago that all reactions to life is a choice. It has almost taken a lifetime to understand to act and not react.

[@readplanet23]

And a blessed day to you. 🙏🏼

[@ProgressMastery]

Thank you

[@Calidastas]

Anger is your subconscious protecting and warning you. You may or may not need protecting in that moment, and it’s up to your wisdom and experience to know whether you do, but anger is a critical part of yourself. It is necessary and useful if managed properly.

[@getmetoine]

I think that is more like fear. Anger is, in my opinion, the result of feeling like control over the situation is taken away or something happening that feels unfair/ unjustified. Anger is the tool we use to recapture the previous situation: to regain what we think we are entitled to.

[@hobowithawaterpistol9070]

Well said!

[@hobowithawaterpistol9070]

@@getmetoineRight or wrong anger exist in all of all and it’s natural! I believe the action you attach to it is important!

[@AlterAbility]

@@hobowithawaterpistol9070 it is natural because it exists. However, it is based on ignorance. The boat should have hit me due to cause & effect, even if it was intentional. Anger comes from a dislike of reality. Something our mind judges as bad has happened, so now we’re angry. We prefer the boat not to get hit, so we decide to meditate with our eyes open while floating down the river. If we get hit, there’s no anger because we understand that this is reality, and disliking it causes mental suffering and, oftentimes, makes external outcomes worse due to negative emotion blocking rationality.

[@hobowithawaterpistol9070]

@@AlterAbility Very true!

[@Jimages_uk]

Buddhism has so many good lessons to teach, but not all boats that hit you are empty, and if a boat is driven at you with intent, pretending it was empty is to delude both yourself and those who would wish to cause harm.

[@Shawn-so3zk]

An empty boat or one operated by another person are still the same: a factor outside of your control. Getting angry at someone running into your boat is as unnecessary as getting angry when an empty boat runs into you.

[@sm5574]

The point is not their intent but our reaction. Whether they intend to cause us harm or not, our response is always our choice.

[@patriciasalem3606]

Agree. Pretty sure the "boats" hitting the kids of Gaza aren't empty, nor did they "attract" this into their lives, as the video says. The same thing applies to victims of abuse and crime, etc. This philosophy would have them think that: a) it's all their fault; and b) to become righteously angry about it is wrong. I'm so over this toxic positivity and law of attraction crap.

[@neelroy2918]

What the monk is doing is getting angry _when his eyes are still closed_ . That is imagining without knowing truth of the matter at hand (not "the" truth). I have done that so many times to know that if I would just look at the other side with "eyes open" as it were, I wont have to be miserable. Yes, people will have bad intentions (boats not empty) but this story can definitely cover those situations with one's state of "eyes closed". Perhaps the interpretation of the story is little far fetched. If you know the intention of next person, you could be justified in feeling what you feel I guess. But then again, how many times we know someone else's intention *for absolute certainty* ? Though I agree that sometimes it's just right in front of you.

[@sm5574]

@@patriciasalem3606, the only thing I disagree with in this video is the idea of "good" and "bad" emotions. Emotions simply are. This has nothing to do with fault, and there's nothing "wrong" with becoming angry. The problem is when you think that others have the power to decide how you respond. They do not, but until we learn that, we are incapable of taking control of our lives.

[@peterjhillier7659]

Excellent, I have learnt something positive this Morning that I will remember and share with others. Thank you for sharing.

[@piper5526f]

In other words you can’t control all circumstances, only your reaction to them.

[@sammuis01]

Such wisdom.... I hope I'll remember this story/lesson forever and I'll try teaching my daughter this. She's only 9, but smart and sensitive enough to pick up on this truth I think.

[@LovesLakes]

Then you might enjoy more of the Buddha’s wisdom. It does not detract from or compete with any other religion you might follow.

[@sjb103052]

I think it’s true that emotions like anger and others originate within ourselves and we ultimately choose what and how we feel. While watching this I was reminded of my psychology studies in the early 70’s when we learned about Rational Emotive Therapy . Same teaching, different sources.

[@TeddyCavachon]

The best summary of Zen philosophy of finding balance I’ve seen is in the movie Siddhartha where is sitting on the bank of a river and a man on a boat who is tuning a string instrument says that if the string is too tight it will break but if too loose it will not play and the music is found in the middle. Zen isn’t about always being good but balancing the bad things life throws our way with good when the opportunity presents itself, like smiling and tossing out a compliment about something a stranger driving or is wearing or things like offering to park their shopping cart for them in the parking lot on the way into a store. Nowadays in urban environments those small acts of kindness shock people at first with skepticism 🤨 but then always brings a smile 😊.

[@trinkabuszczuk6138]

Each situation like like this is an opportunity to practice patience and understanding: take it and you’ll feel better❤

[@robinshankland3499]

What a fantastic and concise way to explain anger. Thank You so much for taking the time to make this available.

[@channelsusan7252]

And then one day you realize your own boat is empty too.

[@ProgressMastery]

Powerful

[@jt.8144]

that's what the video stated "copy and paste"

[@Fegga1955]

Yep

[@mebeingU2]

Your boat is not only empty, but it’s sinking, too!

[@davidsr9719]

@@mebeingU2my boat is not only empty and sinking but it is also on fire….

[@TedSawyer-v5o]

Anger is an emotion that tells you when you feel powerless. Think on THAT and you will truly see anger in a different way.

[@TedSawyer-v5o]

You can't help someone if they don't take responsibility for themselves. If that's what you're dealing with, you need to get help for yourself. If the person is willing to do their work, then I have 2 suggestions, both lift the mind out of the limbic system. First, the simple controled breathing exercise that's going around. Each of the 4 steps is done while internally counting to 4, breath in, hold, breath out, hold. So simple but over time, if done rigorously, it can calm the mind. The other tip, look up. The position of the eyes access different parts of the brain. To get out of emotion, take a walk and look at tree tops or the sky. Be well.

[@shishir1969]

Absolutely stunning. The last Tarana was so evocative

[@mrlanpp]

My father is not an empty boat. When his spirit bumps into my meditations it reminds me why the meditation brings communion, which is an expression of journeys met and journey’s arrivals.

[@timcolaba]

Thank you. It is a good reminder of how to handle anger.

[@xlsyor]

I was snorkeling once, just watching and listening to what was going on around me. Years later, it occurred to me in the midst of one of my frequent bouts with anger over some nonsense, probably an encounter on the road, that none of the fish I'd ever observed ever retaliated in anger that I could discern against another one for crossing its path without warning. My mantra, if you will, became "be the fish" whenever some trivial situation got twisted by my monkey brain into an assault on my (imaginary?) persona. Has it worked? In some measure, yes. I understand that my resorting to anger had always been a behavior rooted in some sad childhood misapprehensions, either ignored or misapprehended in turn by adults in my life. Some peace has grown over those mental hangnails with the knowledge I've been touched by some pretty special people who I've grown to feel urge me silently to pass on the benefits of our encounters. All this to say, all is not perfect, but taking the good with the bad, there's some balance, mostly. Feel free to pass it on. Thanks for reading this.

[@n40tom]

Whenever I get angry I think about the little man in the boat and that always brings a smile to my face

[@neilsthompson589]

Blessings to you and to all living beings.

[@WildBillILL]

I am 41 years old and I have no doubt that I needed to hear this more than anything. Thank you.

[@ProgressMastery]

So happy it brought value for you

[@WildBillILL]

@ProgressMastery Accept my mind is a little more complex than that. Maybe a different analogy would help. I don't know. Who's the asshole that led his boat float around in the lake by itself?

[@WildBillILL]

Or maybe it was one of the many inept people that go to work every day and do their job wrong. They made the rope the tides boat to the dock. Who knows

[@velomitrovich3425]

I believe it was Seneca who said that we get angry when something takes us by surprise. The monk was not expecting his boat to be hit by another; you don't expect that car to pull out in front of you; you didn't expect that parking ticket. Your anger is just a reaction to something you didn't see coming. My youngest son used to have a real anger issue. I told him this and his anger issue disappeared.

[@scottcates]

Very helpful. Thank you.

[@robertyerry8118]

This is great, thank you for sharing and God Bless.

[@TrikesterHal]

A Course In Miracles clarified further with this beautiful story. Thank you. ❤

[@S.tebban]

Everyone else is an empty boat. I'll remember that one.

[@flynnzilla8796]

Emotions are neither “good” nor “bad”: they are the intelligence of our being trying to guide us…

[@Hurt-to-Healing]

It means they are good.

[@Senjinone]

Nope. Emotimes is just the residue of our toughts.

[@davidwuhrer6704]

​@@SenjinoneEmotions come first, thoughts second, if at all.

[@Senjinone]

@@davidwuhrer6704 Nope. 99% of your emotions are created by your toughts.

[@davidwuhrer6704]

@@Senjinone You don't know me. Don't assume too much.

[@sweeabn6736]

Makes perfect sense. The limit is that people are not empty boats. They are full of their anger or whatever. To the point of this story, my anger is within me and I am responsible for it.

[@moabfool]

There are valid reasons for anger. What isn't valid is letting the anger get in the way of a rational decision or extending grace for a legitimate mistake or a contrite offender. Even worse is letting anger become bitterness or resentment. Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.

[@DG-uh8uv]

Thank you so much for this video. I am a ShadowCoach (the work developed by Carl Jung) and this video beautifully sums up why we are triggered by certain things and react the way that we do. Everything is within us. We tend to project onto others what we are feeling and blame them instead of looking within to resolve inner conflict.

[@nothanks5846]

Is there a particular training course or certification process involved in becoming a ShadowCoach? I have never heard of this profession/designation before, but am interested in learning more.

[@DG-uh8uv]

@@nothanks5846 Hi. Yes, there is a particular training/certification course that I’ve taken. Right now I’m in the process of getting my certification and I still need coaching hours. The coaching I do while getting my certification is free of charge. If you would like to contact me, we can talk about it and I can tell you about shadow coaching. You can reply to this comment and I believe it will show up on my KZbin. Let me know if you wanna talk about it and I can send you contact info. I can tell you that it’s very deep self work and it has been life-changing for me.

[@DG-uh8uv]

@@nothanks5846 I thought that I answered you, but I don’t see my comment. I will comment again: Yes, there is a course that I took and I’m in the process of my certification as a shadow coach. I still need a number of hours to complete my certification and during that time the shadow coaching is free of charge. I also want to say that its very deep self work and has been life-changing for me. If you’re interested in talking about it, respond to this reply and I should get a notification on my KZbin account. I can send you contact info and I can tell you about it.

[@jonathanweintraub]

I once dated a boat full of baggage.

[@sethtenrec]

😂👍

[@wascawywabbit0987]

The boat is only empty if there is no intent. If there is intent, then the boat is occupied.

[@markdomar4944]

You seem to have entirely missed the point.

[@wascawywabbit0987]

@@markdomar4944 And so Sir, do you.

[@BC-wj8fx]

True, malevolence is a full-time occupation for some. In those cases anger is useful in setting the precedent that you will not tolerate this further - because asking nicely does not work for these people.

[@Chiefonenut]

@@markdomar4944 Or did he miss ... the boat? Bwahahahahaha

[@Adelicows]

@@wascawywabbit0987no, sorry, you're the only one who missed the point. The point is that anger comes from within yourself, not other people. The boats occupants and their intentions are irrelevant to the story.

[@Bears-mhy888]

Anger I recently learned at 64 is a result of over amped anxiety . I haven't gotten angry since. Help a Veteran, a Senior or a Neighbor today ❤

[@joycekepic8947]

My thoughts are that you taught me a very good lesson this morning I live with three grandchildren and every day is a challenge now I will think of the empty boat and it will release my mind

[@EastmanD]

this works for many situations except for the situation where the boat that collides with yours happens to have someone in it and that someone is climbing into your boat with really bad intentions

[@7thHead_]

Emptiness is suddenly attainable with this simple realization. Cool video

[@SonicGland]

Thank you, Jude Law!

[@ProgressMastery]

Haha!

[@Deelynn-woohoo]

Yet anger is a healthy response to being abused, hurt, or disr3spected without cause.

[@tjjharris]

Anger is an early stage we are naturally prone to or later, conditioned too. Hurtful, inconsiderate, disrespectful people are ignorant of a better way to live, with insight and compassion, and your compassionate understanding of them will not give them the reflexive response they internally expect of you so as to feed their self-hate-based self-image. They were denied as children, and are compensating. Work on your own growth and enlightenment, for it is the best you can to for the world.

[@Deelynn-woohoo]

@tjjharris I have already achieved the compassion and understanding to allow me to live a joyful life. There is a time when all must face the fact that true evil exists. Sociopaths and psychopaths will use our compassion to abuse and torture us worse. It seems to truly offend them to see kind and happy people. They see us as the rabbits/victims of society. They cant change and psychopathy is basically untreatable. Their joy is hurting others. Making excuses for them, or denying this will only get you or others into perfect victimhood. Pointless really, unless you are a Masochist.

[@RandalO-h1c]

I understand your reasoning but the Spiritual path transcends conditioned responses of hatred and fear. Is it better to live in peace and die at the hand of a murderer or live a fearful and vengeful life and die of old age?

[@Deelynn-woohoo]

@@RandalO-h1c I'm sorry but I can't make sense of your answer. I'd rather live a peaceful life and make it to 100, or however long the good lord wants me to.

[@patriciasalem3606]

@@tjjharris How'd that work for the people who thought if they just took the higher road with Hitler, everything would be rosy?

[@kent4786]

An empty shopping cart 🛒 once rolled into my car while I was in it, causing $1500 in damage. I looked over and realized that the shopping cart was empty and so I didn’t get angry

[@DeeVeations]

Lol

[@FlatlandMando]

I had one like that...on a windy day, & a shopping cart blew into my vehicle making a small dent & dislodging paint. The cart was empty but I realized a thoughtless person had not tended it after loading their own groceries. I will never meet that person, but I will be cautious where I put my vehicle on a windy day!

[@0dinseye]

😂😂

[@irap21]

I took the cart home.

[@csc-photo]

What were you doing in an empty shopping cart

[@charleslanphier8094]

In other words : chill., don't worry about every passing boat. I feel like a new Buddha

[@fjb4932]

Love is like anger, triggered by an empty vessel... ☆

[@PaynesPrairie]

So the empty boat story first occurs in the writings of the Taoist Chuang Tzu and has a somewhat different interpretation. But it's a good parable and can be read in different ways, as so many teaching stories can.

[@Peace-tk3gr]

Mmm, yes, except for the part when you're angry at yourself... Anger itself is not the problem, it's how we express it/what we do with it.

[@nvsv_wintersport]

A lot of people don't realize they should angry at themself because of their own actions, but it's easier to channel that anger to 'the other'.

[@Da_Xman]

​@@nvsv_wintersport Avoiding personal accountability is like that...

[@eoinoneill4241]

I have to agree. A former boss & mentor, who could see that I was overreacting and taking work matters personally, left a lasting impression when they told me “you can’t choose how you feel but you can choose how you respond”

[@AlterAbility]

Our actions result from what seemed most reasonable, so we couldn’t have done differently, but we can in the future because we learn from experiences. Does it make sense to be angry with ourselves? In that sense, our past self is the empty boat.

[@little.bear344]

That's the ultimate nightmare right there: when you reach a point that you can't even live with yourself anymore, when you're no longer content with yourself. Being unable to get along with others is bad enough, but man, when even you can't stand yourself, it's time for professional help.

[@connieebinger6343]

Love this. I will remember this. Thank you.

[@jerrysharp9722]

Becoming empty felt easy, however it took me 17 months of isolation and only 30 days of community and I am unable to remain empty .Alas in this chapter I am able to choose what I allow to flow through us . lol I am not alone anymore.. I am,,,,,Over flowing with whatever we choose ..Jerry Lee ❤

[@MikeSmith-km9ff]

The Metallica song Waste my hate is about this. James Hetfield got mad that this guy with sunglasses in his car outside a diner kept staring at him. He got more and more pissed off and the guy until the drive showed up and woke the guy up who was asleep with his sunglasses on with his head turned tward the window

[@Private-v1l]

Emotions are primordial. It doesn't matter which emotion we are talking about. When emotions arise unchecked, they consume our thoughts and actions. In other words, they take control of the mind and body. The higher self loses control. All it takes to control emotions is time. Ignore the emotion and the circumstances that created it. Wait for the feeling to dissapate. Then your higher self can clearly see all paths to a righteous solution.

[@arizonadreaming4183]

great comment

[@Private-v1l]

@arizonadreaming4183 Thank you. I put this in to practice, and it has worked wonders.

[@gomer2813]

Disagree. I’d suggest all readers to examine evidence about emotional regulation. There are many ways to regulate emotion - suppression, distraction, re-appraisal - generally reappraisal along with long-term consistent effort in suppression is the way to change your feelings. Ignoring emotion (distraction) is the least effective. It works in the short term but not long-term. You will just live a life of the emotional rollercoaster - constantly getting upset, and constantly pausing your life to settle down. It’s possible to have better long-term ability to negate those emotions before they bother you at all.

[@Private-v1l]

@gomer2813 While I respect your opinion, I reject this idea because to suppress the emotion is not dealing with the emotion. My technique is simply to not allow the emotion to take control of your higher judgment so that you can see clearly all paths to deal with the situation that created the emotion. By not allowing the emotion to take control in the moment. You can see other options you won't think of if you simply react to the emotion. When we suppress the emotion and cover it up, it festers and poisons the mind, body, and soul.

[@gomer2813]

@@Private-v1l recent research on emotional suppression shows that it works. Sometimes has the paradoxical effect, which is what people who are opposed to suppression/repression assume to be the case, but almost always has either a weak or null effect. For the record, emotional acceptance also can have a paradoxical effect. For example, both “accepting” and “seeking” happiness makes people less happy. Most non-modern non-western cultures use suppression and it seems to work well. Eastern cultures use it far more than western cultures and there is little evidence that they are more insane or miserable. The Western hatred of suppression/repression comes from dogmas of the early days of psychology, which is a time when psych gurus did not often back their theories with evidence or experimental results. As for distraction, studies indicate that it has a powerful short term effect but absolutely no long-term effect. Some modern researchers think that suppression works best when paired with re-appraisal, which means rethinking your opinions and reinterpreting the things around you. The idea is to get to the point ideologically where the thing that frustrates you seems like a stupid thing to be frustrated about. Sometimes this also means learning “how to deal with it.” But not always; depends on what kind of thing it is. Then, you simply have to tell yourself “don’t buy into my own bullshit.” There will be a period of years where you still are upset about this thing, even though you know how to deal with it. During that time, you use suppression to deny your emotions (that’s the part of “don’t buy into your own bs”). There is a lot of evidence in surveys and from case studies for the efficacy of re-appraisal, the only problem is that it is hard to “make” people do it in a lab setting.

[@satsumamoon]

Its not the world that causes or invokes our feelings, its our thoughts / beliefs about those things. Thats my take from this. My mother used to say " I dont do anger". She developed a large hump at the top of her back as a way of expressing such feelings, it was more pious I guess, and nobody would blame her or judge her or tell her she was bad. As.a result of being brought up with such ideas, I too learnt to dissosciate from emotions. I was in my forties when I resolved these issues , it was a long introspective journey . The result was not being afraid to feel, but first I had to be unafraid of feeling that fear. I lived all those years not even knowing I was afraid , all.the time...well, most of it. The chronic anxiety manifested physically , it caused a lot of illness. Please dont give such messages to the world about anger being bad, but rather give enlightened understanding about its causes, function and purposes ...and teach people how to deal with it healthily. Pretending youre not angry is very harmful, and thats what happens when people are shamed for it and shunned for it.

[@Darci3333]

Dont let the anger within you destroy the person that you can become....

[@scottcates]

Thank you. This is helpful.

[@dj3114]

Another story that tends to keep me grounded in Apollo 13. When it happened, the real Jim Lovel is the one that shared the story with Ron Howard who put it in the movie. They were all initially angry when the damage occured and pointing fingers, but Lovel came to grips and told them that they can yell for 10 minutes and at the end of that time, the are still in the same situation but with wasted time and less 02. Spend that time dealing with the problem.

[@thomasholland9568]

It took a monk hours of meditation before common sense was found to recognize that anger is something internal to himself. Like happiness, anger is a choice.

[@evanhernandez1450]

Oh, I've met plenty of "empty boats" in my life. They are also, the "lights are on but nobody is home" people as well.

[@lenering1084]

You can’t control what you feel, but you can control what you do

[@preciousone5496]

Sometimes so much easier said than done. ☹️

[@annihalited]

You cannot control the outcome of your actions, you can only control your actions. You are not entitled to the outcome of your actions, you are only entitled to your actions.

[@Leto85]

With meditation you can get a better control of what you feel.

[@Leto85]

@@wideeyevideo Meditation can help you get more control over your own thoughts and therefore your feelings, mood, and actions based there off. I won't say full control, as I doubt it's possibility but first and foremost I think it's safe for us peopke that a lot of things work in our subconsciousness - which we don't have direct control over. Why do you think that all control is an illusion? I'm curious to read your answer.

[@Leto85]

​@@wideeyevideo Thank you for replying still. I deem your info rather important and inspirational to me personally, hence I would find it very worthwhile for it to stay undeleted. I to think we don't have free will, which I understand contradicts my previous post about gaining more control through meditation. Now I think of it 'awareness' would be a better word rather than control. Still, I try not to think about it too much as I feel it will holds me back from doing whatever it is that I feel like doing. And yet, our society with its punishment and reward system is based on the idea of individuals having free will and control over their actions, which if the absense of free will would be proven to be true and accepted as such, our society will no longer function as such. Therefore I choose/am programmed to not think about it too much. I've read about thought control to be some sort of paradox because: you can't think what you'll be thinking next. My conclusion so far from that is that because we can't think what to think next our thoughts are not our own. What are your thoughts on this? - yeah, even that very question makes little sense now, does it? XD

[@TheDennzio]

very timely...I needed this

[@jolovesnailart]

Beautiful story, one to remember ☺️ Thank you so much for sharing this 🙏

[@airfiero4772]

Great and powerful thoughts

[@Anabsurdsuggestion]

Read Seneca on anger. Same observation.

[@ProgressMastery]

Will check it out!

[@madhumaniar1801]

Beautiful story, thank you for sharing

[@hobowithawaterpistol9070]

I think every emotion including anger should be experienced, but after a few moments or minutes, it’s best to let it go. Happiness is great to have as long as can, but the side effect of happiness can be sadness because you can’t hold onto it! So trying to live life with just simple existence for me is the greatest life I can live and then when those emotions surface, it’s easier to go back to contentment without loss or gain!

[@KeithHays-ek4vr]

📣 Come in number 7. - Your time is up............

[@crackerbarrel6965]

🤣

[@chrismilbank]

Very true.

[@LuckyJim5050]

It’s not size of the boat, it’s the emotion of the ocean

[@ProgressMastery]

Interesting!

[@AindréasMacHoireabáird]

Thank you

[@Akashb71]

To the point! Thank you

[@ProgressMastery]

Thank you for your comment

[@ls-kk4pq]

Major food for thought! Thanks!

[@My-Nickel]

Thank you sir 🙏

[@kayfeezell1433]

What an insightful story .Awesome really .Thank you .

[@travelwell8098]

"All ire lies within."

[@briseboy]

All ire is land. All rocks are sham. All licks are gay.

[@Jay-qq7so]

But there’s no getting away from the stupidity of others 😢

[@RisingTidesAC]

Anger is necessary to our survival.

[@marshalmcdonald7476]

anger has the same root as angel....

[@TheDennzio]

not really

[@TheDennzio]

@@marshalmcdonald7476 and....

[@RisingTidesAC]

@@TheDennzio Definitely.

[@marshalmcdonald7476]

@@TheDennzio just thinking they're related, like magnetism and electricity....mostly just riffing..

[@DeborahPinder-f5t]

Thank you, thought provoking

[@23ograin53]

Same applies to "being offended". No one can offend you (or me) with speech, we make the choice to make ourselves "the offended".

[@Sicilia928]

Words only have the power to hurt you if you give them that power. They're just words, sound expelled with air. I figured out a long time ago that hate does far more damage to the hater than it does to the target of that hate, especially if the target considers the source and puts no value on the hater's words or beliefs.

[@BC-wj8fx]

@@Sicilia928 Malevolence absolutely has the ability to harm you even if you don't believe the words at face value. It's called psychological warfare. I dislike the target-blaming implication that it's one's fault if they lose anything under the duress of psychological warfare. Dehumanisation works. Some personality disorders are considered to be complex PTSD from years of dehumanisation and invalidation of their personhood.

[@Sicilia928]

@@BC-wj8fx There are always exceptions, especially when you up the ante by describing situations of constant repeated verbal attacks, especially beginning and lasting through childhood. I'm talking about an insult and you're talking about programming. In no way did I blame any 'victim' and I stand by my comment. Words have the value you give them and harboring and spewing hate is very self-destructive irrelevant of whether it affects the target or not.

[@gomer2813]

That is massively wrong.

[@LOwens-xf8yo]

When people harm you, that’s their karma; how you respond, is on yours

[@Da_Xman]

WHAT AN ✨EXTRAORDINARY✨ VIDEO...! Thanks loads for posting such a wonderful reminder! ✨♥️👋🥴👍✨

[@MRoachthe1]

The most dangerous tools creat the most impactful results. Anger is a tool.

[@Jgjules]

Thank you 🙏🏻

[@YouilAushana]

I remember my first Buddhist book

[@kt6332]

Good one, thanks!

[@reneangler]

Thanks

[@Thekeninger]

I think that comparing other people to empty boats could lead to misunderstandings and misconceptions.

[@raynic1173]

I here what you're saying, but, the boat is not they're ignorant or some other judgement. It's that it's often unintentional, and how you judge is from you, all you.

[@BillJones]

U wot m8?

[@boonraypipatchol7295]

... 4 Noble Truth... .... Buddhism......

[@misscatearcher]

There is a reason why we respond with those feelings, and these reactions are survival tools. So do not ignore your reactions they are healthy responses to real life situations. If you supress your emotions they will someday surface with a boom.Understand your responses and try to solve the reasons that trigger them, not in a wishing well way, but in a realistic way.Improve your conditions, accept what you cant change and support yourself with boosting little bonuses, this can be anything that makes you feel good about your life. Pretending everyone else is an empty vessel and that you can control anything is not a healthy way to deal with real life situations.

[@no_regerts5176]

I find anger quite useful!

[@WayneRetchford]

Thank you how true 😊❤

[@FueledSelf-Discovery]

May the Lord watch over everyone.

[@Original50]

Anger is the energy we release when our boundries are challenged. It's there to educate the assholes who fail to tie-off their empty boat too 😊