Bullying and my experience with APBS and PTSD

APBS (Adult Post Bullying Syndrome) affects a lot of people and it's something I've dealt with for years. In this video I give my experience with bullying and how it's affected me as an adult. I realize many people may roll their eyes and mock this video but if it helps one person it was worth it.
www.biolayne.com
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laynenorton
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[@tawfik6]

I was bullied in school to the point that i had to be hospitalized from wounds, now at 22 everyday is a battle for me of paranoia and social anxiety but i will never lose. Appreciate the video!

[@jessicawilson9047]

tawfik6 wow crazy

[@biolayne1]

tawfik6 i'm so sorry to hear that you had to endure that. Great work and not quitting, and staying in the fight. You should be proud

[@bluelakes_]

tawfik6 I‘m 22 too and everything you said resonates with me as well

[@tawfik6]

@@bluelakes_ You'll get through it and come out stronger. You will learn to use it to empower you and to help others. Be proud of everything you have overcome and who you are.

[@polishherowitoldpilecki5521]

Same, but I can’t seem to win.

[@BFelix1776]

Respect for putting yourself out there. The scars from bullying can be permanent and not everyone fully recovers.

[@emilylhirsch]

i was bullied for 8 years i had to go to therapy overcoming what i went through made me feel like a warrior thank you for sharing your story

[@andycastro9697]

One never truly knows the struggles another has gone through (or continues to go through). I've experienced bullying (verbal and physical) throughout my childhood into my sophomore year of high school. The relentless bullying only compounded my issues with my home life where there was no support, love, compassion, or parenting. The bullying was so bad, at one point I threatened to murder the person who was bullying me; though i was only trying to scare him, it ended up becoming a serious issue with the police (happened in the 6th grade). Aside from the bullying I faced at school, the abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, and neglect) I faced at home was so brutal it made the bullying at school feel like a walk in the park. Few people would ever guess I faced such adversity and had such a messed up life. I've managed to graduate college with a degree in exercise science (wouldn't recommend btw); I have a stable full-time job working with people with traumatic brain injury and spinal cord injury. Still fewer would know that I have been diagnosed with Complex-PTSD, a debilitating mental disorder from long-term repetitive trauma in the form of neglect, physical, verbal/emotional, and sexual abuse. I don't write this as a sob story, fuck that. I'm a survivor and I'm proud of that. For all of you people out there who suffer from bullying or any type of trauma: There is hope. There is a way. It isn't easy and it isn't always fun, but with the proper clinical care and a will to succeed then you will make it, just like I did. Dr. Norton hits it on the head with being able to be honest with yourself and actively participating in your recovery. If you can't be honest with yourself, then you won't make it very far. I hope my story helps at least one person find the help they need so that they can turn their life around and make it into what they want it to be. Thanks for reading.

[@AnandJ]

Dr. Norton, I was also bullied as a kid being morbidly obese for most of my childhood. I don't regret any of it because it has definitely made me a stronger person. I used all of the negativity to fuel my success and lost over 125 lbs. I've also wanted to prove people wrong. That's the reason I chose this name for my channel. Thank you so much for sharing this! This video really made me think. I still struggle with my past especially when it comes to social situations. I didn't even know that APBS was a thing that can be diagnosed until now. I will look more into this. Please keep making more videos like this! :) Thanks again! -Anand.

[@biolayne1]

Underdog Strength i'm so sorry that you endured that, keep fighting

[@ColinDeWaay]

Proud as hell of you man. Always appreciate your openness and honesty and I know this wasn't easy.

[@EmDunc]

Thank you SO much for opening up about this and putting it on social media, Dr. Norton. I have looked up to you for years for the knowledge you put into the fitness industry, but hearing you speak on your personal struggles and experiences has elevated my level of respect and admiration for you. This is going to help many people, both children and adults. I cannot wait to see more of these videos from you.

[@biolayne1]

Em Dunc thank you Emily. I try to keep it real as I can

[@Prog47]

I've been bullied too in high shool. I've been going to therapy for 5 years now. I'm 25. I didn't go to therapy because of bullying, but because I believe it's very enlightening. You become aware of your patterns and you can change in any way you want. My bullying was mostly intimidation.

[@briannalarson6808]

My fiance is a war veteran (Iraq) who was badly injured and has ptsd and a traumatic brain injury. We watched this together and I just wanted to tell you he doesn't at all think your diagnosis is taking away from veterans with ptsd. He said he imagines it's even harder to explain and deal with when the reason behind it is something like yours because it isn't as well known or talked about as "traditional" reasons for ptsd. He completely respects you. Just an fyi.

[@biolayne1]

Brianna Larson thank you, and thank you him and your family for his service

[@tenormartin277]

I went through the type of emotional bullying you describe in grade school and I can say it's had a huge impact on every aspect of my life - now in my 40s. I am unpacking it with my therapist but I still have large amounts of rage towards everyone in the town I grew up with, especially for the teachers at this point. My reaction was to become terribly depressed, and I've been carrying depression and anxiety throughout my life even though I was a very happy child before moving there. I'm avoidant, and I'm starting to think that it might have even influenced my career choices as well. If you have been or are being bullied, get therapy ASAP. The one thing I can say was a mistake on my part in all this was devaluing the impact it had and not seeking help much much sooner.

[@v.pintilie6691]

Yes. Ignoring and telling yourself "it's no big deal" allows that trauma to grow into a dragon. I didn't realize this until Covid and the lockdown, during which a lot of people broke down and decided that something must be done about that dragon.

[@Balwick]

"People who tell you to ignore bullying, that it will go away, are full of shit". Aint that the truth.

[@lordbeaky3496]

I never thought to myself that PTSD could happen from childhood bullying only like you mentioned from war or serious tramutic situations. To be fair when I was younger I grew up with a verbally abusive father who would constantly make fun of me and belittle me in front of people and my little brother and would always say how he wished I wasn't so weird and would always be more athletic and more popular like my brother and how I let him down in so many ways. In middle school and college I had many instances of getting picked on from verbal, psychial, and mental abuse even at one point people who I thought were my friends suddenly pick themselves up from we were sitting to avoid me in front of the whole class. Two last events when I was coming out of my towns library got hit by a speeding car that nearly killed me and someone who I thought was a friend tried to manipulate me into sleeping with them even though I wasn't gay. So, even though those events have past I find myself having a hard time sleeping at night, nightmares, getting random flashbacks suddenly, random bouts of depression, and random bouts of anger.

[@taylorhumes7567]

Feel you. I got into bodybuilding for the same reason. And it's the underreactions that haunt you. It's life. People get off on shitting on other people, control and depravity becomes some people's way of existing.

[@nomasmedia2053]

Human nature unfortunately

[@thesandrabebe7478]

Spot on! I regret not speaking up for myself in the moment because it encouraged others to disrespect me as well.

[@SabrinaSustainableLife]

Can relate. Wasn't bullied by peers so much but by a family member. I remember being made fun of because I was over weight, and this family member telling me "I was never going to get a boyfriend" because of my looks. But like you, I love to prove people wrong. I use that bullying as fuel to kick ass in the gym. Fitness helped me disconnect from that.

[@headlesseyes]

Oh I had the same but when the bullies have power they tend to win the fight is never over

[@randyhollabaugh1524]

Thank you. I was small ( 6 ft 118#) in high and was bullied by several bigger kids. Still struggle with some of the emotional stuff from that today and I am 53. But it was the biggest reason I got into Martial Arts and lifting weights in my mid-20s. Being bigger, actually knowing how to defend myself, and being fairly good at it doesn't erase those things from memory.

[@v.pintilie6691]

It doesn't erase them, yes, but it does help a lot. Therapy in tandem with physical self improvement are both good recommendations.

[@HeatherOdeh]

Agree with this and all you say here. It's hard to know how to react when we are told to "ignore it", "kill them with kindness", "let it wash off of you" etc. Getting internal self esteem is truly the key! So true! It's just so hard!!! It is also saying tons about the bully and their self esteem! Social media isn't good for this either! Bully's like to hide. Praying you continue to heal and know you are pretty awesome!!

[@XmXm999]

I went through a similar situation to you, and I am about to start dealing with it. I really like you mentioned the good side of it. Resilience, hard work, focus (If we made it this far). I was bullied for 10 years, mostly emotionally, verbally, not much physical. But was pushed in the corner, chanted songs, name called, followed around. 10 years, I never stood up for myself. I was ignoring it for years, and now I am ready to face it. My advice for the bullied ones, since nobody told me- once the bullying starts the first time- Knock that person directly in their mouth no matter what( you will thank me later). Also, you seem like an amazing guy, you look good, you care for others and yourself. I really liked this video.

[@Andreas-gh6is]

I can relate. I was a lot more violent in my reaction to bullying, but it won't work. There's always more people who can bully you and eventually one or a group of them will be stronger. But I was bullied for valid reasons. I was boring, different and toxic. Children don't have a better way to defend themselves from toxic peers.

[@mls6684]

Biolayne, I would never "roll my eyes" at your assertion. Constant and pervasive bullying and verbal abuse that is subtle and "flies under the radar" does cause complex CPTSD and/or PTSD. Please check out other videos on this subject such as Richard Grannon's Spartan Lifecoach. You would find your suspicions confirmed and validated. I wish you much success in your recovery.

[@ntet9557]

I was diagnosed with C-PTSD because of a decade of bullying (mostly emotional - humiliation, ostrasizing, etc.). I remember when my therapist called my experiences in school trauma for the first time, I yelled with him it is not trauma, it was weakness. I was triggered every time he used the word trauma. I have very serious attachment problems, trust issues. I feel unreal isolation (despite the fact I am surrounded by loving people). I try to control my emotions, every aspect of my life, and I pathologically afraid of losing this control. I was very troubled during university, partying, drinking, having unsafe sex, doing some mild drugs and I always considered it as a time when I lost my grip with reality. I literally felt nothing butemptiness in these years. Nothing mattered. I was almost dropped out of the university, I amost ended up in jail, it didn't matter. When I told this to my therapist he said I that it was just my way to process that I got out from a very toxic environment. I was subjected to extreme circumstances so when I got away from that situation, I had no better way to process all that anger and helplessness by destructive behavior. And he said it just show my strenght and resiliance that despite of this, I didn't go down on a path of self-destruction, I got out, I got my diploma, I practice as a prosecutor, I built a life, trying to serve justice. And I couldn't believe his words. I remember I yelled with him that what he said was bullshit. Thank you for sharing your story. It is good to know I am not alone with my struggle...

[@03sukh]

I am 21 years old right now and I am still feeling the mental effects of being bullied. Trust me, I've continuously opened up lots of upsetting stories about my teenage past to my father, brother and occasionally a counsellor. I've still got a few more bothersome stories that I have not told or voiced, yet I've gotten so sick of fighting this that I just want to give up. I really can't be bothered to open up anymore nor fight this any longer. It is so sickening!

[@6666Azazel]

I did have a problem with the way you handled criticism couple of times and it always struck me as something out of your character. Everyone has their weaknesses - all we can do is to try to be mindful and honest about them. This video doesn't make you look "weak". It takes HUGE amounts of courage to admit to that experience in front of the camera and admit that you didn't react the best way to certain situations because of it. This is true strength, not deadlifting 800lbs :)

[@luluthedoberman7490]

Thank you I needed to hear that "people who say ignore bullying, it'll just go away" - it doesn't, it just gets worse.

[@guesswho5790]

Oh my God. Finally, somebody said it. Bullying doesn't usually go away if you ignore it. And PTSD out of bullying IS a thing. No matter what people say. You know better than anyone the truth of what you are feeling. I too was always taught to "play nice"... I LOVE how you use the rage it brings you for your benefit. Think I should use that too. Thank you so, so much for sharing. It's been over five years since high school and I'm still struggling because of the classes I have to take in college. It seems I just can't shake off the feeling I got at 13, 10 years ago...

[@KrystenJanzen]

Thank you so much for sharing this Layne and opening up about your struggles. You are a true inspiration and I think this topic will really help those who have been bullied!

[@nigeriaman8697]

You are awesome man. You helped so many people. 👊🏽

[@ertoflp]

Thank you for this video Layne... Openingly talking about something really personal like this, truly is a mark of a strong individual. Keep up the great work you are a real inspiration Layne!

[@allenmewes1019]

I would definitely be interested in more. I'm very grateful for this as its related to things I'm discovering about myself right now. It helps a lot to hear what you went through and how similar it is to my story while looking at all the things you've been able to accomplish in the same number of years.

[@RZFitnessTV]

Thanks a lot for this video Layne! It would be great to hear more

[@MrSharonvivar]

I also went through a lot of bullying, it was horrible, I cried every day, and teachers did nothing about it, I had lunch in the bathrooms, I seriously feel so related to this video thank you for making it.

[@abbymoyer2014]

Sharon Vivar Fit so did I. To this day I have anxiety and am afraid to trust people.

[@sebastianotero997]

Thank you Layne. I think you are very brave and thank you for sharing your story. Now I admire you more. It has taken me many years to get away many painful comments off my head and to control my head from automatically bully myself. It is true that sometimes we are our own enemies... I think in general when someone is bullied it is because others see something that threatens them, something they don't understand and usually something bigger and special.

[@Brenbolone]

Wow Layne this video really had me thinking about things. I was never "bullied" but there have been people who have given me a hard time and the best thing to do is just kinda like you said not let it get to you and to be more successful than them. I've seen some people around in the grocery store or somewhere just out of shape and not really going anywhere in life. Then I look at myself: successful job, passionate and successful at weightlifting, successful relationship and bright future head. This makes me feel that even though he gave me a hard time in the past im doing so much better now than they are and it makes me happy. I totally can understand your ptsd being real and different than military ptsd so def no eye rolling here. Thanks for sharing this video and giving me some expanded thoughts.

[@eh-zl5cc]

Thank you so much for making this video. My childhood and adolescence wasn't filled with sunshine and rainbow either. You reminded me to self reflect and see how my current habits, behaviors, etc. are being influenced by my past. I like how down-to-earth your approach is to such a deep question.

[@lindslifts]

Thank you so much for sharing this. It's very relatable for me. It was hard for me to deal with and I was depressed for a long time, because my main bullies were my parents. (Been in and out of therapy but didn't help much.) But I recently learned to love myself and how to use those hurtful memories to fuel myself to be positive. Turning it around. Understanding that oftentimes those negative comments and painful situations were a reflection of themselves, just misdirected. It's not fair, and doesn't make it feel much better, but realizing that it was never about me, and that I still have time to "prove them wrong" and be who I'm meant to be, that fuels me now. Seeing this concluded it all. I really appreciate your transparency.

[@Dmlaney]

The reality of the situation is that pathetic people try to drag others down with them because they know they cant improve themselves. They attack you because they are pathetic not because you are pathetic. They attack people out of jealousy and hatred. The solution is to take the rage that you get to do something constructive. If you stay positive then you will just become stronger and greater. Just continue to make yourself a better person. There will always be haters and basket cases.

[@BenLloydPT]

refreshing to hear this tbh. well done for overcoming bullying and getting in the position you are today. I too have recently been a victim of bullying, and its true, the urge to prove people wrong can be a great motivational tool. well done again

[@claudiahall3138]

Your video was very insightful! Thank you for sharing. As a mother of 2 boys I will definitely keep open communication with them regarding bullying!

[@toladep]

Hi Layne, thanks for being honest. This took a lot of guts.

[@biolayne1]

Delato it was definitely not easy for me

[@shanafry863]

Thank you for sharing your experience because everyone is different and experience things differently and everybody is affected differently thank you for putting this out you're helping a lot of people have understanding of themselves or someone that is suffering thank you many blessings

[@Noeleren]

Thank's for this. We are probably a lot of people with similar experiences. I'm also diagnosed with adhd and was bullied as well, so this felt validating as all hell.

[@jericax17]

Hi Dr. Norton! Thanks so much for being so open and sharing your personal experiences. I think this will reach a wide audience and hopefully help a lot of people! I am currently in the process getting my PhD in psychology, and I actually study interpersonal relationships (specifically adult relationships). From what I have learned so far in graduate school through my classes and research, no matter how big or small the experience, if it was traumatizing (especially as a young kid during prime developmental periods), it can have a lasting effect and help shape how we handle and perceive certain situations into adulthood. Talking about it with a therapist from a now outside perspective, and being able to share it with a community, already speaks volume to how far you have come. Really looking forward to hearing more!

[@FitnessFlux]

Thank you for sharing Layne, so many will appreciate this! I was bullied physically and emotionally quite badly. Only in the last two years have I noticed the reaction response you are talking about. It's hard to control. Also to this day I draw rage from my emotional bank account of being bullied before big lifts. This can make us much stronger and also get us hurt. Thank you again for sharing this.

[@themarkus6472]

I dont understand the mental health side of things to much but I know for myself while I am able to work and do a good job, im scared of the world and people. Its hard for me to for friendships and relationships and am scared of conflict because I feel like I am a sensitive person. I try not to be a people pleaser like in the past but to still be respectful especially to those who give me respect. I hope the world is a better place than I think. I hope that finding happiness is possible and Ill do the work it takes if it is. I appreciate your videos dr layne because you have helped me understand the evidence based view of nutrition and life in general. You made me aware of the misinformation on social media and why not to listen to anybody who claims to be a doctor.

[@stormlord121]

Dr. Norton, I would just like to congratulate you for sharing your personal experience with bullying and the effect that it has had in your life. I would also like to thank you for telling it like it is but also showing me and everyone else who has watched or will watch this video how you have handled this and have tried to live your life the best you could and placed you in a better place from where you were. I really hope you continue your therapy and you only improve with every session. A huge high five for you sir!

[@Littlejohnny40]

Great video and I've been there myself. It's why I learned to box. I've learned though that I have to show compassion more now that I'm an adult because I don't want to become a bully myself. That's unfortunately what happens to a lot of people who were bullied as kids. They often become bullies as adults. Im very mindful of that. Thanks for sharing your story Layne

[@brodee3223]

It really caught my attention to see you post something like this. I'm currently working through my MA in counselling and I had thought a few times as I watched your material that I saw some indicators suggesting to me that you would really benefit from talking to a therapist. This was just a few times over years of seeking out and at times pouring over your media so it's not to say you wore it on your sleeve; I just thought I had picked up on some stuff. I often thought it was odd that you hadn't began to work through whatever these issues might be (or at least it SEEMED to me you hadn't) because you seem like a person who would seek to, like you said, be honest with yourself and address deficiencies. So it really takes my respect for you to the next level to see not only that you took appropriate action as these "deficiencies" presented themselves but that you want to share your experience in the interest of helping others. I admire anyone who addresses these sorts of struggles in their personal life because it is a far stronger reflex to avoid dealing with deep seeded problems. I especially admire when someone opens up publicly about it because it really does seem so selfless as it can pretty much only serve to help others. Thanks for being a solid role model, Layne. We need those desperately those days!

[@BenLloydPT]

refreshing to hear this. Bullying is a growing problem, especially with social media

[@ariaadamy]

Thank you Layne. I love the quotes and they are empowering to remember if your being bullied or have self doubt. ‎Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality- Les Brown When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.

[@diogomaria610]

We love your work Layne!

[@screaminjesus]

I suffered through similar persistent, emotional bullying in school for many years It's still with me to this day, mainly manifesting as anxiety and extreme aversion to exposing myself to any scenario that could even potentially result in embarrassment or 'looking stupid'

[@katiefritz8633]

I think for you to talk about this and be real with people is awesome and I wish more people would do this. My brother was bullied a lot when we were growing up and it is heartbreaking to see people go through it. If you do more videos on this, I look forward to them. It is sad that we can't be more happy about people being different from ourselves. I am not sure if you think that is one reason you were bullied. I think that is part of the reason my brother was bullied because he is different. But you know what? That's awesome, he is allowed to be different. And so is everyone else. I'm definitely sharing this with him. Thanks again for another great video.

[@ryanpaulsimpson]

Man thanks for sharing. After watching this I probably have APBS too. I think back and feel like I have to prove myself and often do.

[@Livefastdieoldbadgirlsdoitwell]

Thank you for this, which the algorithm randomly served me, an amateur bodybuilder, corporate lawyer who likes to prove herself, and undiagnosed adhd mama bear to an adhd girl who is always picked last. I will find the things that make her feel proud and support the hell out of them.

[@qazwax501]

I personally have experience with this as well and it has affected me alot I think. Much respect for coming out publicly about this, cus i definitely know how embarrassing it can be.

[@kellywilson]

Much respect, Layne. It took me over a decade to accept my own diagnosis of PTSD (from a sexual assault from a stranger). Like you, I also felt that it was doing a disservice to those who suffer from combat PTSD. I have had relationships end with people who are fans of yours, and I hope they will happen to watch this with an open mind so that they don't belittle others in the same ways they treated me and the issues I still deal with. You are doing a great thing by sharing this. Just this year I've started to speak openly about this myself. I think that cohesively it will bring about positive change. Thanks again.

[@frayedendz1]

I think this is a topic that definitely needs to be put out there more and talked about, thanks for being super honest about this topic and your experiences in the past as well as how your currently working through it....I know I had some times in school where kids said things and I took it really seriously and it messed me up for awhile where I couldn't sleep at night before school and always had a stomach ache going into school. My parents were great and really helped me through that time. I look fwd to more of your vids on this topic and yeah who cares what people think cuz this is a much needed thing that by just talking about it can help people sooo much

[@KeithS-sl6ii]

I fought 5 times landed 3 maybe 4 punches. Lucky to have a consuccion few missing teeth and a bad black eye. Full speed I will be dead. In therapy even though I somewhat defend myself

[@nebbykoo]

Thank you, sir. You don't know how much you have helped others like me with your honesty. I have this hidden problem too.

[@saviom8166]

Good for you, Layne, for going to a therapist. You're saying so many more good things here. I said this once before, you're looking and sounding much better these days.

[@docmansound1]

I'm glad you posted this. It's not the easiest thing to talk about. As an adult, being reflective and understanding one's deep motivation is the key to personal growth. I went through some pretty bad bullying in late elementary associated with antisemitism. I've also at times been a bully, which I still feel bad about to this day.

[@PistolPeteLee]

Love this. I'm hoping your assistant spoke with you regarding an email I sent over about mental health awareness, I would love to help you further. Props for this, anybody that knocks somebody for having a mental illness is a coward. Respect.

[@icedpony]

Awesome video! I find that learning about the real problems in other people's lives, and the solutions to them, help fostering my own solutions, and makes it easier to relate- and be an asset to others. I wasn't really bullied, but I was hated as a teenager, after my family moved to the country.(lol, a few times a year kids I didn't know would walk up to me and threaten my life) I also view it as a good thing. Isolation helped me analyze, and decide how to spend my time if I wanted to live what I perceive as a virtuous life.

[@jonathonhyde1666]

I have new respect for you Dr. Norton; thank you for sharing

[@Whitneybeaty]

I came across your video while searching the topic. I think my brother is experiencing the same things that you have described. I was hoping to see more videos but did not find any others on your channel. My family and I are trying to assist him with finding a professional to talk to. He loves weightlifting too! Thank you for shedding light on this topic. :)

[@marlonbonilla2300]

I have been following your IG for simple motovation,never bothering to look up your videos. this one spoke to me and I came to see all the great stuff you have posted. but this...this is deep! thanks

[@mazzmari]

Respect for having the courage to talk about this. God knows I can't.

[@JamesHillegas]

I watched this last year when you published it. Over the past year, I have gone through the same battle with therapy for the third time. Struggle with anxiety, suicide which was plotted to such a detailed level so no one would be able to find it...is scary. But like you very driven, I have self taught myself other engineering disciplines in addition to one I got a degree for. Keep you the great work!

[@biolayne1]

keep grinding buddy

[@chocolatesugar4434]

😥💜 my son has had a traumatic childhood of bullying. he's 20 now and trying to rebuild his life

[@yangotthepower]

Thank you sir for sharing your kinda story. Been emotionally, literally beat down every other day by two girls in high school, continued for two years, closer to graduating they kinda stopped, and at that point my self-esteem was lowering like fast and furious, might sound fucked up but i haven't done any serious to stop that shit.. I think, every time i'v been beat down, after it i was making myself stronger inside, building heavy vest from other's people opinions, thoughts, whatever they say, that's kind how this is. Don't give a damn what other think, say. Do your thing, do yourself, build yourself, it's how you think and what You think. Thank you!

[@bridgetbaker8956]

Very interesting video on PTSD never looked at it that way. Thanks!

[@mattbelcher5672]

dude thanks for sharing super honest on a serious subject. definitely relate even as an adult there's jerk bullies and they suck. haters gonna hate....gators gonna gate. stay stong dude.

[@nikangel5362]

Layne, i could relate. This is me, from a domestic abuse relationship. I felt like the healing was coming back from a war. It really did an unfortunate # on me. Happy to say it took about 5 yrs to feel like myself again. ❤

[@meghanworkman6449]

Oh boy does this resonate with me. I endured emotional bullying from kindergarten all the way to about 10th grade, and I felt just like you - trapped and with nothing I could do. Standing up for myself made it worse, doing nothing ensured it continued. I used to wish someone would just hit me instead of say mean things, because at least then I could've hit them back and maybe it would've stopped. Thanks for making this video.

[@DRVFTAthletics]

Hi Layne. Great video, I'm glad you made this video. I think this will open a lot of people up to themselves and realize why they react and feel the way they do. I hope you get through it. Something that could help you is zen practices, states of 'mushin' or 'no-mind'.

[@thedukeofhinojosa6850]

Thanks Layne. Needed that.

[@briano1501]

Inspirational Layne. You are a lion in a world full of sheep. I believe these tests and challenges are designed to create greatness. As you said use the energy and channel it into positivity, the growth that comes from this will forever separate you from the sheep. Some people aren't strong enough to carry that kind of responsibility. Hopefully you can feed off of this positive post :-) All the best man, I know how it feels.

[@georgiabradley1712]

I was bullied and this video has helped made me realise and connected with me!! Thank you very much for doing this video if someone screams at u for this ignore them turn them off cause I think whatever they say is wrong as doing this is amazing! Thankyou!! 😘🥰🌈😇👏👏🌟 x

[@scatdaddy3790]

Still appreciate you making this video 6 years later

[@sooryanarayan4148]

I too faced extreme emotional bullying by kids and teachers, relatives

[@CrystolW88]

Thanks, Layne. Good stuff. Sharing.

[@themacroexperiment]

Great video, I definitely relate to this

[@breakdown7553]

Good video lane! You said it right; it's pretty much the hardest thing to not take comments or negative opinions of others not into your "heart"...I didn't find a way yet, my pride or at least how I define pride (it's subjective of course) won't allow me to not take things personal because I feel like a loser if i not take up the fight. Fight in the sense of arguing or whatever... but at the same time I lose all of my coolness and my actually very strong arguing skills, cause I get very fast, very impulsive and emotional. So when I'm angry, caused by others fooling me, i will be the even bigger fool no matter what I do. I'm fucked...but yea, seems like this is the struggle I was born into and so I have to deal with it. It's not really about the exact apbs syndrome since I don't think that it comes from that, all though I had a period of time in school, where I was the one guy in class and they made a club with the name "no-(myname)-club". But yea whatever...just wanted to say: good video. Honest words, I appreciate all kinds of self reflection and thinking about those things in a differentiated way!

[@lydiacuen8437]

Awesome video! Looking forward to meeting you in Tempe!

[@I_Am_Adrien]

This hit home. Thanks for sharing

[@manycoloredshiny]

Wow... I don't often hear from a person who had constant emotional bullying instead of episodic or physical bullying. I have felt very alone. Thanks for being open about it.

[@dmrios62788]

i thought i saw you at powerhouse downtown, dem feels. Good video, i wouldn't mind hearing more about it, a lot of people keep these things inside and never talk about them.

[@curiousone6435]

Excellent video -- thank you for speaking up on this topic and sharing your story. I can relate to this so much. I dropped out of high school the middle of my junior year due to persistent, vicious bullying. Since then, I thought I defeated those demons to otherwise create resilience, strength, and a successful life, with the main hallmark of being as independent and self-sufficient as possible ("I'll never need anybody, dammit!"). Now, I'm in a workplace situation where this is occurring and my response to it (even at the physical level, an important part of my recent diagnosis), is causing me to feel like I'm reliving the whole thing again. It's been eerily similar in the sense that those I'd turn to for support aren't trustworthy and a part of the problem. It's making me sick, I worry it might cost me my job and my career, too, and I was diagnosed with PTSD yesterday. Bullying is a topic that needs to be taken much more seriously. It is unacceptable, plain and simple. It's true that it can shape your character in good ways, as you noted in this clip (I also started weight-lifting and it's fueled my guitar playing), but overall, it's one of the worst things that can happen to you and change your life forever. It can make it difficult for a person to trust others and get close to them, which only furthers the sense of isolation, worthlessness, and you lose perspective and self esteem because you feel like nobody gives a s*** about you, even if you know you did nothing to deserve it. People think you're the problem (you're weak, have a chemical imbalance, [fill in the blanks]), which only crystallizes your determination to keep them at an arm's length. Dude, I can relate to your comments about incessant criticism and negative opinions, as well, and how much that affects you. Again, thank you for candor and opening up about a pervasive problem that society tolerates. We pay for this with poor health, fractured social relationships, violence, questionable corporate values, and more. It's truly tragic, and I hope things can change. We live in times of great social upheaval and a strong demand for justice. I hope we take this collective so it's not an individual problem to overcome anymore.

[@jessicawilson9047]

Wow Lane this is beautiful, makes you seem very real and human for opening up. I was not bullied as a teen, I was molested as a child and then as I grew as young adult I went with the cool kids and we smoked and did drugs but I did this probably to protect myself because I was in the in crowd. And your PTSD is a little different than military vets, I served 6 years in the Air Force. No I don't have PTSD but I saw first hand what our soldiers go through and let me just say.... you have no clue. The comparison to childhood bullying is not on the same level but you know that. Any traumatic life experiences will give some level of PTSD just in different ways and degrees.

[@biolayne1]

Jessica Wilson agreed, and I tried to emphasize that I wasn't trying to compare myself to a soldier. I'm so sorry you enjoy that as a child. No one should have to deal with that

[@hillywood1777]

I appreciate you video. Thanks. It helps. ❤

[@Jim55324]

I sometimes black out for a few seconds while fantasizing about pummeling the bullies in class with a heavy desk. This was decades ago but can't let it go. They got a piece of me and I never got revenge like I should have.

[@Killermike2178]

I am on the Autism Spectrum, and I've had the misfortune of trifecta of being subjected to bullying, molestation, and domestic violence. I've recently come to terms with the fact that all these things have distorted my ability of maintaining good relationships with friends, acquaintances, and co-workers, due to my trust issues and almost certain PTSD (yet to receive a formal diagnosis, might be changing very soon), and last year, I decided to join a gym and go on a diet, and I managed to lose 70 lbs. I feel this was my way of giving myself self-love, and healing myself as a way to tell myself I didn't deserve all of those bad things that happened to me, and that I didn't have to let them define me. While the bullying and molestation stopped, sadly, the individual who subjected me to the domestic violence still lives at home with me, and something has to give with this person very soon...

[@bluntforcetanya]

Yes please do make some more videos about this! Much respect for being so open also. People don't think things have effects but it's because their own experience is all they know, & also because psychological cause & effect is much deeper, much more permeating & insidious, & much more seemingly unrelated to things than one can understand unless they actually look into the science. And that's what it is - science - so those who deny it really are a moot point because if you are fundamentally denying a fact you're way too far removed from the basic understanding of something to even be seriously interacted with about it, like arguing with a toddler. Do you argue with toddlers? No, you just shake your head & laugh & say 'okay' because you know they're so far removed it's not even appropriate. I've delved alot into my own psychological workings & tics & made alot of connections recently as I gain understanding & it's very fucking interesting as well as useful because if you know the cause & consequential series of effects you can take it apart & improve it. I'm very interested in whatever specifics you'd want to share of your experiences, to understand more from my own perspective as well, so I'm sure I'm far from the only one.

[@elcl1038]

this is very helpful. tthank you for posting

[@cyberpumpdotcom]

The Charles Atlas ad on the back of the comic books where the guy gets bullied was my inspiration to start lifting weights. I was that kid in the comic who got bullied and getting big and strong was my perceived solution to make it stop.

[@elvisitor]

Thank you for this video! I have PTSD from a deaththreatsituation (a local gangster put me up to a wall and said he was gonna shoot me etc / happened because I was smoking weed and its not legal in Sweden, so bad sellers got me in the situation), which later (two years) led to a cannabispsychosis probably due to the fact that I was in a group of people who bullied me. This happened some years after highschool and I was dumb enough to still think the guys from class was my friends and this was the guys I called friends... Sounds really strange I suppose, but after that psychosis I have learned the hard way that they where not my friends, rather the cause to my psychosis =/ Still trying to put my life together after all this. Really inspiring that you talked about your situation! I am trying to find some selfworth thrue training and love your efforts in the gym! And this put a whole new level to me liking you! =) Best regards from Sweden (sry if my English is no good)

[@jsoellne]

I've had similar experiences. I was bullied a lot and also feel like it spent a lot of time trying to be successful and prove people wrong. That's where I got a lot of my drive. But I don't lash out at criticism or threats. What I struggle with because of bullying is shying away from people above me like bosses. I struggle to form close relationships with people like that. I also used to b shy and quiet for a long time. I eventually overcame that though.

[@aprilly]

Wow... this took a lot of guts to do. It's not easy making yourself vulnerable, especially on the internet. You exposing your past has made things more clear for me. I've followed you since I was a teenager and I was inspired by you. I watched and read just about everything on bodybuilding.com you put out. And about shit myself when I was working the front desk at golds gym in St. Louis when you came in on a travel pass. I wish I would have said something to you but I was to nervous. Then when I started following you on fb some of the things you said and arguments you got in confused me because of how intellectual you are. I witnessed you getting in arguments with people that weren't 1/8 as smart as you and I would see you lash out at ignorant people (sometimes they deserved it). To be honest you kinda scared me. I just assumed you had anger problems and people got under your skin. But after hearing briefly about your past it makes a lot more sense. I'm sorry for what you had to endure as a child, it really saddens me when I hear about kids having to go through that. You obviously came out of it a stronger person and for that alone, you inspire me. It's refreshing to see people you perceive as gifted or near perfect, overcome struggles. I have ADD/ADHD as well and to see that you have a Ph.D gives me a little hope lol. But on a serious note, thank you for sharing this. I could tell it wasn't easy and it is clear you are being genuine. I love the quotes you gave. One of my favorites that relates to this was by Wayne Dyer who said when value what someone thinks about you, you're basically saying "Your opinion of me is more important than my opinion of myself" I really wish you the best with your therapy and look forward to seeing more videos like these. You da bomb Layne!

[@abisheks2418]

#respect Can completely relate to what you are saying. Hope you recover in time for IPF 2017! Cheers!

[@kleagjona9138]

I can't believe how relatable I felt to this video . Our Bulling experiences are almost identical . I wasn't physically abused but I was completely verbally abused for 11 years since the age of 4 . I wish I can talk more about this but I don't feel comfortable enough to share this .

[@alejandromata4086]

It's not an insult to admit you have PTSD, that can happen because of a myriad of things and everyone's perception of a given situation is different. I did major psychology and bullying is definitely a problem especially in cases like the one you describe on being cornered and being emotionally bullied, which actually is the worst kind of bullying and the one that scars the most. I'm happy that I follow someone who not only inspires people in physique and who has taught me so much about nutrition and lifestyle and balancing through videos and articles but who also is not afraid of admitting this sort of things and who truly wishes to help others! Keep up the great work, Layne!

[@tedzoo9529]

How you deal with the negative self thoughts or doubts? one of my biggest problem is messing up good things or getting in my own way.

[@anoushkalovebug7775]

Self sabotaging, I do that too 😓 I think it’s part of the healing